EtiquetteEtiquette

What is Etiquette?What is Etiquette?

It is an indefinite set of rules of good It is an indefinite set of rules of good manner & behaviormanner & behavior

Comes from an old French word Comes from an old French word meaning “ticket”. Later came to meaning “ticket”. Later came to mean a prescribed routine that is mean a prescribed routine that is passed down, especially in court passed down, especially in court behavior.behavior.

The Evolution of EatingThe Evolution of Eating

Middle Ages- Middle Ages- Would use fingers to eat withWould use fingers to eat with Reserved spoons as serving utensils Reserved spoons as serving utensils

onlyonly Men brought own dagger to a mealMen brought own dagger to a meal Used a hollowed out piece of brown Used a hollowed out piece of brown

bread as a bowl, called trencherbread as a bowl, called trencher In a formal banquet, what you ate & In a formal banquet, what you ate &

where you sat at a table based upon where you sat at a table based upon your station in lifeyour station in life

1111thth Century- Century- Italian, Domenico Selvo, marries a Italian, Domenico Selvo, marries a

Greek Princess who brings the Greek Princess who brings the practice of using forks to his courtpractice of using forks to his court

This is considered scandalous and This is considered scandalous and hereticalheretical

1364-1364- Charles V of France declares that Charles V of France declares that

forks are only to be used for foods forks are only to be used for foods that might stain fingersthat might stain fingers

1669-1669- King Louis XIV of France bans King Louis XIV of France bans

pointed knives, as a weapon or at pointed knives, as a weapon or at the table, as a method to reduce the table, as a method to reduce violenceviolence

Starts the movement to a blunt tip Starts the movement to a blunt tip knife knife

Mid 18Mid 18thth Century- Century- Forks achieve their Forks achieve their

modern form of modern form of being 4 prongedbeing 4 pronged

1920’s- 1920’s- Stainless steel Stainless steel

utensils are createdutensils are created

Styles of Service Styles of Service vs.vs.

Styles of CuttingStyles of Cutting

Russian Service-Russian Service- Elaborate Dinners with glorious foods presented in great Elaborate Dinners with glorious foods presented in great

stylestyle Food cut in the kitchen, reassembled to look whole, Food cut in the kitchen, reassembled to look whole,

paraded around dining room & then servedparaded around dining room & then served Foods served in succession of each otherFoods served in succession of each other

French Service-French Service- All food served in beautiful serving pieces arranged on All food served in beautiful serving pieces arranged on

table & repeated at several intervals so that the same food table & repeated at several intervals so that the same food was in reach for allwas in reach for all

Origins of family and buffet styles of servingOrigins of family and buffet styles of serving Downfall- food gets coldDownfall- food gets cold

Styles of ServingStyles of Serving

Styles of CuttingStyles of Cutting

ContinentalContinental Knife in right handKnife in right hand Fork in left handFork in left hand Tines of fork remain downTines of fork remain down Knife used for cutting and pushing food onto forkKnife used for cutting and pushing food onto fork

AmericanAmerican Knife held in right hand to cutKnife held in right hand to cut Place knife down and put fork in right hand to Place knife down and put fork in right hand to

bring food to mouthbring food to mouth Tines of fork are upTines of fork are up Americans only people to eat this wayAmericans only people to eat this way

A Modern Look at Etiquette…A Modern Look at Etiquette…

The BasicsThe Basics

Good Manners come from the inside and Good Manners come from the inside and do not changedo not change

Etiquette Rules come from the outside & Etiquette Rules come from the outside & are always changingare always changing

Knowing the ”rules” is essential because it Knowing the ”rules” is essential because it puts you in the position of knowing when puts you in the position of knowing when it’s appropriate to bend them. it’s appropriate to bend them.

A persons feelings are always more A persons feelings are always more important than strictly adhering to the important than strictly adhering to the rules rules

““Public” EtiquettePublic” Etiquette

11stst Impressions Impressions

ClothingClothing No such thing as neutral clothingNo such thing as neutral clothing Everything you put on communicates something, your Everything you put on communicates something, your

image is either working for or against youimage is either working for or against you

IntroductionsIntroductions Proper distance for speaking is 18” inchesProper distance for speaking is 18” inches If someone mispronounces your name don’t make a big If someone mispronounces your name don’t make a big

deal about itdeal about it Keep all personal belongings off the tableKeep all personal belongings off the table

Shaking HandsShaking Hands 1..2..3.. Release (you are not pumping gas)1..2..3.. Release (you are not pumping gas) Hold your drink in left hand to avoid giving someone a cold Hold your drink in left hand to avoid giving someone a cold

& wet handshake& wet handshake

The proper shake ...The proper shake ... > Involves eye contact> Involves eye contact Is firm but painlessIs firm but painless Lasts about three secondsLasts about three seconds Takes only two or three pumpsTakes only two or three pumps Starts and stops crisplyStarts and stops crisply Doesn't continue through the entire introductionDoesn't continue through the entire introduction

Begin with your fingers together and Begin with your fingers together and your thumb up.your thumb up.

Shake hands web to web, with a firm Shake hands web to web, with a firm but not crush ing grip.but not crush ing grip.

Keep your fingers together and your Keep your fingers together and your thumb up. Slide the web of your hand thumb up. Slide the web of your hand all the way to the web of the other all the way to the web of the other person's hand. Otherwise, he or she person's hand. Otherwise, he or she ends up shaking hands with your ends up shaking hands with your fingers. Also, shaking web to web fingers. Also, shaking web to web effectively prevents the other per son, effectively prevents the other per son, no matter how strong, from crunching no matter how strong, from crunching your knuckles.your knuckles.

Never offer only your fingertips, causing a weak, limp handshake.Never offer only your fingertips, causing a weak, limp handshake.

10 Commandments 10 Commandments of a Business Mealof a Business Meal

Thou shall not jump straight into business talkThou shall not jump straight into business talk Thou shall not be lateThou shall not be late Thou shall not table hopThou shall not table hop Thou shall not talk politics, diet or familyThou shall not talk politics, diet or family Thou shall not dominate the conversationThou shall not dominate the conversation Thou shall not dawdle over the ordering or eatingThou shall not dawdle over the ordering or eating Thou shall not drink to much alcoholThou shall not drink to much alcohol Thou shall not fight over who pays the billThou shall not fight over who pays the bill Thou shall not neglect thy table mannersThou shall not neglect thy table manners Thou shall not forget to show appreciationThou shall not forget to show appreciation ** 11** 11thth- Thou shall not have bad breath !!!*** - Thou shall not have bad breath !!!***

(esp. smokers)(esp. smokers)

Ready, Set…. DrinkReady, Set…. Drink Ordering Alcohol- Ordering Alcohol-

When in the company of strangers, When in the company of strangers, follow the lead of the host if it is follow the lead of the host if it is appropriate or not to orderappropriate or not to order

Wine-Wine- White Wine glasses are held by the White Wine glasses are held by the

stem, as not to diminish the chillstem, as not to diminish the chill Red Wine glasses are help by the Red Wine glasses are help by the

bowl, the warmth of the hand release bowl, the warmth of the hand release the bouquetthe bouquet

Sugar Packets-Sugar Packets- Limit the number of packets usedLimit the number of packets used Place trash under saucer or tucked Place trash under saucer or tucked

under placement under placement

Ready, Set… EatReady, Set… Eat

Napkins-Napkins- Place on lap as soon as you are Place on lap as soon as you are

seatedseated Place on your chair when you Place on your chair when you

must leave the tablemust leave the table The host should be the first to The host should be the first to

put the napkin on the table at put the napkin on the table at conclusion of mealconclusion of meal

Never flap it open or tuck it into Never flap it open or tuck it into shirtshirt

What stuff is mine?What stuff is mine? Drinks on the right, solids Drinks on the right, solids

(bread plate) on the left(bread plate) on the left

When to start-When to start-Start only when everyone every one else Start only when everyone every one else

has been servedhas been servedBuffets are the exceptionBuffets are the exception

Do not serve yourself bread unless Do not serve yourself bread unless the host has signaled you to do sothe host has signaled you to do soPick it up and offer it to the person on Pick it up and offer it to the person on

your left, then serve yourself and pass your left, then serve yourself and pass to the rightto the right

No, No’sNo, No’s Don’t salt your food before you taste it-shows you make hasty Don’t salt your food before you taste it-shows you make hasty

decisionsdecisions Don’t push your plate or chair away unless you are getting up from Don’t push your plate or chair away unless you are getting up from

the tablethe table Don’t rearrange or stack your dirty dishesDon’t rearrange or stack your dirty dishes Never tilt your chairNever tilt your chair Don’t ask people where they are going when they get up from the Don’t ask people where they are going when they get up from the

tabletable If you belch, excuse your self to no one particularIf you belch, excuse your self to no one particular Never crumble crackers in your soup or blow on itNever crumble crackers in your soup or blow on it Don’t chew ice or other inedible parts of the mealDon’t chew ice or other inedible parts of the meal Put butter first on your plate, not directly onto your breadPut butter first on your plate, not directly onto your bread To get the last bit of soup, tilt the bowl away from you- the Tug To get the last bit of soup, tilt the bowl away from you- the Tug

boat goes outboat goes out

Yes, Yes’sYes, Yes’s

Always pass the salt & pepper togetherAlways pass the salt & pepper together Need to get something out of your mouth- use your Need to get something out of your mouth- use your

tongue & forktongue & fork When in doubt, use a utensil rather than your When in doubt, use a utensil rather than your

fingersfingers Hair in your food- don’t spoil someone else’s meal Hair in your food- don’t spoil someone else’s meal

by talking about itby talking about it Food in teeth, blow nose, rearrange hair- go to the Food in teeth, blow nose, rearrange hair- go to the

restroomrestroom Food in someone else’s teeth- let it go if you can Food in someone else’s teeth- let it go if you can

not be completely subtlenot be completely subtle Don’t like your meal- who cares- tell the host you Don’t like your meal- who cares- tell the host you

do!do!

Words to the WiseWords to the Wise Nothing that touched your mouth should ever Nothing that touched your mouth should ever

directly touch the tabledirectly touch the table

When you are finished- place your silverware at 4 When you are finished- place your silverware at 4 o’clocko’clock

If you spill something don’t make a big deal about If you spill something don’t make a big deal about it- offer to pay for cleaningit- offer to pay for cleaning

If you decide to pass on food being offered, simply If you decide to pass on food being offered, simply say “No Thanks”- no explanation is neededsay “No Thanks”- no explanation is needed

Learn to try new foods when you have the Learn to try new foods when you have the opportunity- you may be confronted with unfamiliar opportunity- you may be confronted with unfamiliar choices in the furturechoices in the furture

Special NeedsSpecial Needs

Tell the host when you accept the Tell the host when you accept the invitation (esp. if meal is in their invitation (esp. if meal is in their home)home)

New restaurant- call aheadNew restaurant- call aheadNever make this a topic of Never make this a topic of

conversationconversationDieting? Not when you accept an Dieting? Not when you accept an

invitation to eat compliments of invitation to eat compliments of someone elsesomeone else

Set the record straight…Set the record straight…

Elbow on the table?Elbow on the table? It is acceptable to have your elbows on the It is acceptable to have your elbows on the

table if you are not eatingtable if you are not eating If you are eating, forearms only on the tableIf you are eating, forearms only on the table

Table Manners for KidsTable Manners for Kids Same as adultsSame as adults

ConclusionConclusion

Statistics from 3 separate research Statistics from 3 separate research projects by Harvard, Carnegie projects by Harvard, Carnegie Foundation and Stanford Research Foundation and Stanford Research Institute- Institute-

Success in getting, keeping and Success in getting, keeping and advancing in a job depends on 85% on advancing in a job depends on 85% on people skills and 15% on technical people skills and 15% on technical knowledge and skillsknowledge and skills

(This is one of the most frustrating things you’ll have to deal (This is one of the most frustrating things you’ll have to deal with !!)with !!)

When in doubt, follow the lead of the hostWhen in doubt, follow the lead of the host The meal is time to visit & interact, the is The meal is time to visit & interact, the is

always more important than the function always more important than the function of eatingof eating

Eating & Talking at the same time- take Eating & Talking at the same time- take small bites so you can quickly finish and small bites so you can quickly finish and swallow before speakingswallow before speaking

Thank your host with a handwritten note- Thank your host with a handwritten note- classy touchclassy touch

Smile- it is the ultimate Smile- it is the ultimate gesture understood by gesture understood by all!all!

The End!The End!