equipping parents to raise emotionally healthy children
DESCRIPTION
Equipping Parents to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children - Webinar Guide Presented by Chris KnudsenTRANSCRIPT
Equipping Parents to
Raise Emotionally
Healthy Children
Equipping Parents to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children
1. Parents with new babies Resource – Parenting 101
Equipping Parents to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children
1. Parents with new babies Resource – parenting 101
2. Parents with kids up to 12 Resources – Hold On to Your Kids
- Active Parenting
Equipping Parents to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children
1. Parents with new babies Resource – Parenting 101
2. Parents with kids up to 12 Resources – Hold On to Your Kids
- Active Parenting 3. Parents with teens Resource – Active Parenting
Parenting is God’s idea…
Parenting is God’s idea…
Children are a
gift/reward from
the Lord. Psalm 127:3
Parenting is God’s idea…
Children are a
gift/reward from the Lord.
Psalm 127:3 Train up a child
in the way he/she should go and when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6
Parenting is God’s idea…
Children are a
gift/reward from the Lord.
Psalm 127:3 Train up a
child in the way he/she should go and when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6
…These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up… Deuteronomy 6:4 to 9
1. Parents with new babies Resource – parenting 101
www.parenting-‐101.org
parenting 101 connecting your child to your heart
What is it?
www.parenting-‐101.org
www.parenting-‐101.org
Condensed version of parenting 101
www.parenting-‐101.org
Object Relations Theory (Margaret Mahler) (now called attachment – Bowlby) • mom and dad and me are joined/ 3 months sensing awareness of those around
Separation / individuation phase • differentiation – there is a difference between myself and you • rapprochement – I am an individual, exciting and frightening • object constancy-gradually I have an internalized positive image of my parents
…Borderline personality and narcissism can result from a break in attachment in the first few years (attachment to God is the cure but the break is preventable).
(“Object” is the target of relational needs in human development)
Body, Soul (mind and emotions), and Spirit
www.parenting-‐101.org
I Thessalonians 5:23 “spirit, soul and body…”
Body, Soul (mind and emotions), and Spirit
www.parenting-‐101.org
“What happens, right or wrong, in the critical first two years of a baby’s life will imprint that child as an adult” (Magid)
parenting 101
Attachment
Body, Soul and Spirit
We Choose “Us”
Leaving a Legacy
Community
The Gift of Time
www.parenting-‐101.org
2. Parents with kids up to 12 Resources: – “Hold On To Your Kids…Why Parents need to matter more than Peers” by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate - Active Parenting
One of the worst things is to be lost… without a compass point
An unattached child will indiscriminately attach to the nearest warm body… with no thought of whether or not it is a good idea
N
When they have been allowed to depend they will
automatically work toward
independence.
Re-collect your kids whenever you have been apart
The purpose of parenting:
To protect and prepare children To survive and thrive
In the kind of society in which they live
www.activeparentingcanada.com
Autocratic Permissive Active Style
Democratic Leadership
Limits Without Freedom
Freedoms Without Limits
The Dictator The Doormat
The Active Parent
Demand Cooperation
Hope For Cooperation Win Cooperation
Parenting Styles
www.activeparentingcanada.com
coeur
Dis-courage • expect too little • focus on mistakes • expect too much • overprotect
En-courage • show confidence • build on strengths • value them • stimulate independence while allowing them to depend on you
Make it a habit to
always look happy to see
your kids
EVENT
FEEL
THINK DO
Success Cycle
Positive Behavior Higher Values, Higher Self-‐Esteem
Encouraged
3. Parents of Teens Resource: - Active Parenting
www.activeparentingcanada.com
EVENT
FEEL
THINK DO
Success Cycle
Positive Behavior Higher Values, Higher Self-‐Esteem
Encouraged
EVENT
FEEL
THINK DO
Failure Cycle
Negative Behavior Lower Values, Lower Self-‐Esteem
Discouraged
GOALS -‐
BELONGING/ CONTACT
-‐ -‐
POWER -‐ -‐
PROTECTION -‐ -‐
WITHDRAWAL -‐ -‐
CHALLENGE
The Road of Life, The Goals and Purposes of Teen Behavior -‐ Active Parenting of Teens
GOALS -‐
BELONGING/ CONTACT
Nega2ve Discouraged Approaches
Undue a@en2on seeking
Positive Encouraged Approaches
Contributing Cooperating
www.activeparentingcanada.com
GOALS -‐
BELONGING/ CONTACT
-‐ -‐
POWER
Nega2ve Discouraged Approaches
Posi2ve Encouraged Approaches
Rebellion Independence Responsibility
www.activeparentingcanada.com
When you give a teen a choice you give him legitimate power
When you give him an order, he will have to rebel to gain power
GOALS -‐
BELONGING/ CONTACT
-‐ -‐
POWER -‐ -‐
PROTECTION
Nega2ve Discouraged Approaches
Posi2ve Encouraged Approaches
Revenge Asser2veness Forgiveness
www.activeparentingcanada.com
GOALS -‐
BELONGING/ CONTACT
-‐ -‐
POWER -‐ -‐
PROTECTION -‐ -‐
WITHDRAWAL
Nega2ve Discouraged Approaches
Posi2ve Encouraged Approaches
Undue avoidance Appropriate Avoidance
www.activeparentingcanada.com
GOALS -‐
BELONGING/ CONTACT
-‐ -‐
POWER -‐ -‐
PROTECTION -‐ -‐
WITHDRAWAL -‐ -‐
CHALLENGE
Nega2ve Discouraged Approaches
Posi2ve Encouraged Approaches
Thrill seeking Safe Adventures
The Road of Life, The Goals and Purposes of Teen Behavior -‐ Active Parenting of Teens