The causes of Miscommunication among

Family Members and their effects to the Child

A Term Paper

Presented to

Ms. Anselma E. Inot

Lourdes College

In Partial Fulfillment

Of the Requirements in

English 2

By

Foi Jerde S. Cabog

Bachelor of Music Major in Piano

March 19, 2014

Acknowledgment

Patience and being honest is the best. The researcher realized that this

research would not been accomplished without God and without the help others.

The researcher would like to thank the following:

To Ma’am Inot, she taught him how to make this research paper. Without

her, he would not have been done with this term paper until the end of time. He is

grateful for her patience and kindness.

To his classmates, thank you for the joy and unforgettable

memories that you shared to him in Lourdes College.

To his ever supportive single mother, Glades Siago. Thank you for being

there for him always in spite of all circumstances. He knows that it is not easy to

be a single mom with three kids and without a husband, even though you’re far

from them, you still able to take your responsibility as a mother. Thank you also

for providing him a laptop and a printer. Without these devices, the researcher

would have been much risky to go to internet cafes. Anyways, he is happy to

have an ever supportive mother like you. He loves you so much.

Table of Contents

Introduction: Communication and Miscommunication.

I. The different types of family structure in communication.

A. Proper Communication

B. Family Structures

1. Socio-Oriented Family Communication Structure

2. Concept-Oriented Family Communication Structure

II. The Four Major Causes of Miscommunication between Parent and Children.

A. Miscommunication Affect Relationships

B. Behavioral Problems

C. Weak Emotional Bonding

III. Common Effects of Miscommunication among family members and to the

Child.

A. Miscommunication Affect Relationships

B. Behavioral Problems

C. Weak Emotional Bonding

IV. How to resolve Parent- Child Miscommunication

A. Child needs to know the task of a parent

B. The need of Attention to children

C. Proper Communication

Introduction

Communication is the activity of transmitting information through the

exchange of conversation. Communication requires completing conversation with

enough supporting details so that to receiver can understand the message of the

sender. Miscommunication means failure to communicate with others.

Miscommunication happens when either a child or parents fails to transmit the

correct information to one another. Every member in the family has different

interpretation of words that can sometimes reject some information of words that

can cause conflicts. (Not Walls a book about interpersonal communication Third

Edition, 1982, 254.)

The purpose of this research is to answer the following questions intend in

threefold. It intends first, to know the family communication structures. Second, to

know what are the various causes of miscommunication in the family and third, to

know how to resolve miscommunication. The researcher aims to help parents

and children to manage miscommunication to a happy living.

I. The different types of family structure in communication.

A family must have a proper communication in order to operate smoothly.

Proper communication plays a big role in interaction between family members.

During the years ahead, you'll experience many of the same growing pains every

parent faces as their child matures and gains independence. But you will have an

additional transition to make. There are two forms of family communication to

avoid miscommunication. (Two types of family communication structure, 2012).

Family Communication has two types of structures. The socio-oriented

family communication structure and the concept- oriented communication

structure, both has different communication skills to children. However both have

positive effects on children. First is the Socio-oriented communication were

practiced more by families from the urban than the rural community.

Furthermore, in socio-oriented family communication, the children are directly

obeying their parents. The children are not allowed to join in decision-making in

the family. Second is the Concept-oriented communication style were higher

among the urban than the rural community. Children are taught to fix

problems by themselves and they are taught to join decision-making in the

family. (Ibid.).

II. The Four Major Causes of Miscommunication between Parent and Children.

The first cause of miscommunication is the context problem, which means

the sender and receiver could not understand each other’s context and language.

Furthermore, women love to express themselves and sometimes they say words

that are misspoken. Mothers and Grandmas talks a lot when they are angry, they

talk so much that sometimes there mouth speaks fast than there mind. This will

cause some members of the family to get hurt specially children. In spite of these

problems, you can solve it by talking and explaining to your child or members in

the family to settle problems. (Remschmidt, Helmut. Children and Adolescents,

1981.).

The second cause is the assumptions between parents and children.

Parent and child makes assumptions because most of the time we talk faster or

slower and pauses that sometimes often jump to their imagination and complete

those unclear words during those pauses. Sometimes our brain works faster than

the sender whom we listen to, that’s why we can create an assumption that can

be the cause of miscommunication. (www.shirleytaylor.com).

The third cause is the generation gap between parents and children.

Parents grew up in a different time with different pressures and problems.

Parents want to understand their child and relate to them, but they can’t relate

their child’s behavior because they have different generation and culture. Without

proper communication, this will cause big problems and conflicts.

(www.livestrong.com.).

The fourth cause of miscommunication is the Messy thinking in

communication, it occurs when a person speaks at the middle of a conversation

without finishing his/her conversation of information. Messy thinking usually

happens when you are stress or high emotion. This act can cause problems. In

other words, before you speak, choose a language that is precise, clear, and can

be easily understood. (www.moneychrashers.com).

III. Common Effects of Miscommunication to family members and to the Child.

Miscommunication can damage connections because it breaks down the

flow of a smooth communication. Some couples get to the point where they stop

talking to each other. Miscommunication can weaken relationships because a

relationship can’t be successful without proper communication. (Digas,

Relationship, 2009.).

Miscommunication can also cause behavioral problems. Parents who fail

to communicate with their children properly will cause children to unexpressed

difficult emotions that may cause behavioral issues. Kids also act out when their

parents fail to communicate with them, it cause so called battle grounds in the

family. (Remschmidt, Children and Adolescents.1981.).

Miscommunication between parents and children can also cause weak

emotional bonding. Communication between parents and children helps

strengthen your emotional bonds. It also helps your child feel secure and safe.

While improper communication creates emotional problems. Furthermore, the

most common effect of miscommunication is the Trust issues. Parents and Child

creates trust in the family with proper communication. However, improper

communication causes trust issues that may lead to misunderstandings. (Ibid).

IV. How to resolve Parent- Child Miscommunication

Children need to know that their parents are in charge and that they make

the final decisions involving all task in the family. At the same time, parents need

to understand what it means to be in charge. Correct them in a right manner, but

at appropriate times. Also, challenge yourself to arrange situations in a way that

ensures the success of your child. Often, parents and children do not

communicate properly with one another. It is important to understand when and

how to listen, and when and how to be listened to. Listening is a good way so

that the parent is in-charge, as well as promotes better communication. In turn,

better communication fosters increased respect. Increased respect results in

children following the rules. (Skinner, Child Behavior Guide, 2011.).

Your child learns that misbehavior gains your attention. That attention is

reinforcing. Attention is attention, despite your intention. Remember, misbehavior

occurs for a reason. It is acquired through learning. It is based on experience,

and it is selfish. If your child receives attention from you for positive actions, they

will want to continue to gain that attention. Furthermore, when you begin to

actively change your attitude, you will feel better about yourself as a parent. In

turn, your child will be positively affected. Remember, children are reactive to the

moods and behaviors of their parents. (Little, A lack of communication in the

Family, 2011.).

Proper communication in the family is extremely important because it enables

us to express our feelings, concerns, and needs. Open and direct communication

can let the family members to express their differences as well as love and

concerns. Furthermore, Co- parenting can sometimes called team parenting or

open parenting. Co- parenting needs proper and direct communication to

success of their children’s future and self- esteem. (Sala, Train Up a Child, 2010,

148.).

Conclusion

Communication is the activity of conveying information through the

exchange of thoughts, messages, or information, Miscommunication means

failure to communicate with others. Family is a group of people affiliated by

consanguinity, affinity, or co-residence.

According throughout research those families out there need proper

communication in order to operate smoothly. Communication within the family

plays a crucial role for present and future understanding of intrapersonal.

According to his research, there are two types of family communication

structures. The socio- oriented family communication structure and the concept-

oriented family communication structure are the two types of family

communication structure. The causes of miscommunication are context problem,

assumptions, generation gaps, and Missy thinking. These four major causes of

miscommunication affect relationships, Behavior, Weak Emotional bonding and

trust issues.

The researcher recommends this topic for further research so that a

parent or a child can be aware of their actions, ways of talking, and ways of

parenting skills. If ever there’s a student that will revise this topic, he or she

needs allot of effort to add more values for the readers.

Bibliography

A. Books

a. Stewart, John R. Bridges Not Walls a book about interpersonal

communication Third Edition. New York: Publishing Company, 1982,

254.

b. Remschmidt, Helmut. Children and Adolescents. USA: The Willey

Company, 1981.

c. Mifflin, Houghton. Berko Wolvin Wolvin Sixth Edition communicating.

USA. Prince-Hall Company, 1983, 42-43.

d. Sala, Harold J. Train Up a Child. Philippines. Philippine Publishing

House Inc., 2010, 148.

B. Internet

a. Skinner, Rachel. “Child Behavior Guide”, 2011. www.child-behavior-

guide.com .

b. Digas, Angela. “How miscommunication can damage relationships”,

2009. (www.relating360.com )

c. Nwddermeyer, Dorothy M. “Relationship’s Problem Created by

Miscommunication”, 21 March 2005. www.ezinearticles.com.

d. Little, Mark. “A lack of communication in the Family”, 21 November

2011. www.livestrong.com

e. Lewis, Micheal. “Common Miscommunication” 2014.

www.moneychrashers.com

f. Author, Unknown. “Two types of family communication structure”,

2012. www.ehow.com