1The Bob and Rob Show Study GuideLesson 79: Weddingsdate: March 31, 2007file name: bobrob 03-31-07

Show notesI dothose magic words spoken after walking down the aisle. Yes, were discussing weddings on lesson 79.

Phrasal Verbs and Idioms"to walk something offTo go for a walk so as to get rid of the feeling of overeating or anger/stress e.g: She walked off her big mealafter dinner by going around the park.to walk out of something/ on somebodyTo leave a job or meeting etc because you do not like it, or to leave a relationship e.g: He walked out on hiswife after 5 years of marriage.to walk down (the aisle)To get married in a church e.g: They finally walked down the aisle after a 10 year engagement1.

Idioms: to tie the knotTo get married e.g: Elizabeth Taylor has tied the knot so many times I've lost count.Bonus Idiom: to have a shotgun weddingTo get married because the girlfriend or fianc_e2 has become pregnant e.g: The father was angry with hisdaughter and future son-in-law because they were having a shotgun wedding3.

Best mans speech & wedding vowsListen to these common monologues from typical Western weddings.

Both Sides of the Pond(US) maid of honor4 (UK) chief bridesmaid(US) bachelorette party (UK) hen party(US) bachelor party (UK) stag party(US) your welcome (UK) not at all / your welcome(US) thanks (UK) cheers

A familiar wedding scene

Song"The Wedding Song" by The Andy Johnston Explosion. See more at http://www.music.podshow.com

Quotations"The value of marriage is not that adults produce children, but that children produce adults." Peter De Vries5"Love, a temporary insanity curable by marriage." Unknown

EXTRAS: There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get marriedagain. Clint EastwoodMarriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet. Mae WestIntimacy is what makes a marriage, not a ceremony, not a piece of paper from the state. Kathleen Norris

2Show transcriptROBAnd this is Rob. Hey, hey, hey, Bob.

BOBHey, Rob. Today we've got a special subject, don't we? Weddings ...

ROBWeddings and marriage.

BOBAn important event in many peoples lives.

ROBIt's often the best day of one's life.

BOBDid you have a formal wedding; were you married in a church in Japan?

ROBActually, no, we never got round to that. We simply went to our local city hall6, or registry office ...

BOBAnd just signed the papers7.

ROBWe just signed the papers at a civil ceremony here in Japan.

BOBWe should just clarify that your wife is Japanese.

ROBThat's right.

BOBWe did the same.

ROBOh, you did the same?

BOBWe went to the city hall, and signed the papers, and then had a reception party.

ROBHow nice. Did you do that in a hotel?

BOBNo, just at a restaurant. It wasn't important for me to have, what would you say, the pomp8 and the ritual thatthe traditional weddings have. Wanted to have a simple wedding.

ROBThat's nice, that's always nice.

BOBI think so. It's really about the relationship, the love between two people that's most important. Not so muchthe ritual, or the pomp ...

ROBAnd it is only one day, after all.

BOBAlthough, I do understand why people put a lot of time and energy into9 planning a wedding.

ROB

3But you know, it can get very expensive.

BOBThat's another reason why we decided to do10 a simple wedding.

ROBSo, did any of your relatives come over for your reception?

BOBMy grandparents, and my mom and dad came over; that was a real11 nice time.

ROBTraditionally, the family of the bride - that's the woman that's to be married - they usually pay for the wedding,but these days the couple usually pay part of the cost. They do that to share the cost, I think, more thesedays.

BOBOf course you don't really have to worry about it, because you have two sons. If you have three daughters -wow.

ROBBut like I say, I think that tradition is changing.

BOBI don't know. My father paid for my sister's wedding.

ROBOkay, I guess it depends.

BOBI think my father-in-law footed the bill - "footed the bill"- means "paid for the bill - for the reception. So from myexperience, it's still around - that tradition.

ROBWell, that's good.

BOBIn the West it's usually a white wedding. The bride wears a white wedding dress, right? Did your wife, well,you didn't actually have a ceremony.

ROBNo, but all the weddings I have been to - I haven't been to a traditional wedding - the only weddings I've beento I've been restricted to Western style church weddings; my sister, my aunties. They've always worn whitewedding dresses.

BOBSo one of the things we should go over. A typical wedding day in the West, in the US, I don't know about theUK, but you've got the wedding day, and the father gives his daughter away to her husband, or her soon-to-behusband, right?

ROBThat's right. So that's the expression there, "give her away."

BOBI guess some brides find that offensive today. They don't really like being "given away" to another man. It canbe - some women don't like doing that.

ROBBut that's traditional. As we've said before, the bride will wear usually a white wedding dress, and there's aphrase, "her wedding dress should include, and I quote, "Something old, something new, somethingborrowed, something blue." And that's in order to bring some luck. Usually the bride has bridesmaids. Theseare little cousins or some relatives, usually girls, and they wear matching dresses.

BOB

4And a groom has a best man12.

ROBWhat does the best man do?

BOBI was a best man about five years ago for a friends wedding. In addition to standing next to the groom duringthe wedding, he also kind of makes sure the groom gets to the wedding. He's responsible to help the groomand make sure he's doing okay.

ROBThe best man holds onto the ring until ...

BOBHolds onto the ring, and also very important, makes a speech at the reception.

ROBRight, after the ceremony.

BOBProposes the toast, so it's quite involved. I was surprised, I didn't realize how much work it would be.

ROBThere's a lot of responsibility.

BOBIt's more than just going to the party, and getting drunk with your friend.

OTHERFirst of all, I'd like to thank Dave and Carly for the opportunity to speak at their wedding. Dave, I wanted to beyour best man, thank you very much. Ladies and gentlemen, it would normally be traditional at this stage forme to recall a couple of stories about Dave's past that probably he would find a bit embarrassing. So I'm goingto follow that tradition and tell you a couple. I have to say that in the fifteen years I've known Kelvey, I'veactually never heard him say a bad thing about anyone. So I thought well what better time to provoke aresponse than at his wedding. Seriously though, as best man I couldn't be more excited about today, or behappier for Dave, my best mate had married a beautiful and intelligent woman who I believe couldn't be bettersuited to him. Carly's interest in people, and life, and enthusiasm to challenge the norm and constantlybroaden her perspective, are qualities I know Dave loves in Carly and are engaging for all who know her. AndCarly, needles to say, I think youve married a legend. A genuine caring man with honesty and integrity, amate you'll always be able to trust implicitly. Mr. and Mrs. McKelvey I know you're going to have a great timetonight. I also know from experience that it's going to go very, very, quickly, but fear not, because this is onlyjust the beginning of your journey together. Enjoy.

ROBThe job of the ushers13 is a lot easier; a lot less responsibility. The ushers are friends of the bridegroom, andin the church they get the guests to their seats.

BOBAlso, I think it's important to note that in the West, often we "exchange vows," in front of the family.

ROBGuests and family.

BOBIn front of the guests.

ROBThat's the promise that theyre going to stay together and support each other forever, for their natural lives, Iguess.

BOBHere's an example of some vows:

OTHER

5Hold hands and repeat after me: (Groom) I Johnny, "I Johnny," give you Shell, "give you Shell," my dying loveand commitment, "my dying love and commitment," to be your life's companion, "to be your life's companion,"I promise to give you honesty and love, "I promise to give you honesty and love," patience and understanding,"patience and understanding." I promise to give you the best of myself, "I promise to give you the best ofmyself," and ask no more than you can give, "and ask no more than you can give." I promise to laugh with youin joy, "I promise to laugh with you in joy," grieve with you in sorrow, "grieve with you in sorrow," and grow withyou in love, "and grow with you in love." I promise to hold sacred, "I promise to hold sacred," our bond, "ourbond," as man and wife, "as man and wife," loving and cherishing you, "loving and cherishing you," for all thedays of my life, "for all the days of my life." This is my solemn vow, "this is my solemn vow." Wonderful.

(Bride) Shell: I shall, "I shall," give you, Johnny, "give you, Johnny," my dying love and commitment, "my dyinglove and commitment," to be your life's companion, "to be your life's companion," I promise to give youhonesty and love, "I promise to give you honesty and love," patience and understanding, "patience andunderstanding." I promise to give you the best of myself, "I promise to give you the best of myself," and ask nomore than you can give, "and ask no more than you can give." I promise to laugh with you in joy, "I promise tolaugh with you in joy," grieve with you in sorrow, "grieve with you in sorrow," and grow with you in love, "andgrow with you in love." I promise to hold sacred, "I promise to hold sacred," our bond, "our bond," as man andwife, "as man and wife," loving and cherishing you, "loving and cherishing you," for all the days of my life, "forall the days of my life." This is my solemn vow, "this is my solemn vow." Wonderful.

ROBOkay, Bob, how about some phrasal verbs?

BOBPhrasal verbs, okay, do these have to do with weddings?

ROBWell, some do. When you're in a Western style wedding, the father, who gives the bride away, usually, "walksdown," the aisle.

BOB"Walk down," so is that the phrasal verb, "to walk down"? Well sure, you can also say, "walk down the street."

ROBSure.

BOB"Yesterday I was walking down the street when I saw my friend." That's very common - the bride, "she walksdown the aisle."

ROBYes, it's kind of like a fixed chunk of language there. We don't really interchange it with "up." We can't say,"walk up the aisle."

BOBNo, but you can say, "walk up the street."

ROBThat's right.

BOBBut not in the context of a wedding. You walk down the aisle to get married. Speaking of relationships,another way to use the phrasal verb with, "walk," is "to walk out." If you walk out on someone, you basicallyleave the relationship. So for example if I said, "My wife walked out on me last night" that would mean "sheleft me," left the relationship.

ROBHope she hasn't walked out on you, Bob.

BOBI'd better call.

ROBAnother phrasal verb is to "walk something off." If you "walk off" something - well, this has a couple of

6meanings - but one meaning is, "you can walk off a job," which means "to actually quit."

BOBTo just quit without notice, usually. Just to walk off the site14, or walk out of the office. Have you ever walkedoff a job?

ROBNo, I haven't, no.

BOBYou're too responsible.

ROBFairly responsible, I guess, yeah. Any other meanings for "walk off"?

BOBAnother meaning of "walk off" is to "release stress." So if you get in a fight with someone, often we say, "Youjust need to go out and walk if off" which means "to calm down." Basically, just to kind of release stress, oroften we say when we've eaten too much, "Oh, I've just had too much tonight, I got to go out and walk it off."

ROBThat's a good way to use it.

BOB"Go for a walk," in order to release stress, or get rid of a full stomach15.

ROBGood points, good points.

BOBSo idioms, Rob, what do we have?

ROBThey're both connected to weddings and marriage, actually.

BOBWell of course, we're doing the Wedding Show.

ROBWell, "if you tie the knot,"...

BOBThat's a good idiom.

ROBThen that means "you're getting married."

BOBThat makes sense, you have two strings and you tie a knot, and they join together, just like people.

ROBThat's true, so it's like a metaphor "for two peoples lives coming together." An example sentence, "I tied theknot eight years ago."

BOB I tied the knot seven years ago. And the bonus idiom today is, "shotgun wedding."

ROBOkay, "shotgun wedding."

BOBA shotgun wedding, an example would be, "After Jimmy got his girlfriend pregnant, they had a shotgunwedding." What does that mean?

7ROBThe answer to the bonus idiom will be in the study guide.

BOBYes, it will.

ROBOkay, some Both Sides of the Pond, Bob.

BOBWe're doing some Both Sides of the Pond.

ROBThere are a few differences in British and American English with terms connected to marriage and weddings.In the UK we say, "chief bridesmaid," do you know what that is?

BOBI believe that would be called, "the maid of honor."

ROBOkay, maid of honor, right.

BOBDo you say, "best man," in the UK?

ROBWe do.

BOBWe do.

ROBYou do too?

BOBYeah, best man.

ROBSo that was basically the opposite - the counterpart - the gender opposite of best man, is the chiefbridesmaid. And in the UK we have - the women before they get married - they have "hen parties."

BOBWe've done this on a previous show; that would be called, "a bachelorette party."

ROBAnd it is good to review.

BOBIt is good to review. "Hen party," I think I like that better than "bachelorette party." What do we do for guys?

ROBStag parties.

BOBStag parties, or bachelor party.

ROBAnd just some formal and informal phrases. If I say, "thank you," what are you going to say, Bob?

BOB"You're welcome."

ROBThat's common in the UK too, but we also say, "not at all."

8BOBThat's not so common in the States.

ROBAnd also, as a more informal way to say, "thanks," we say, "cheers."

BOBWe say, "thanks." "Cheers," in the US means "when you do a toast," to pose a toast it's, "cheers."

ROBAll right, some Both Sides of the Pond.

BOBOkay, some announcements. Thanks always for listening to the show, and if you have any questions orcomments, feel free to email us at, thebobandrobshow.com. You can email us, or send us a voice message.

ROBThat's right yes, and thank you very much for all your donations, we really appreciate it.

BOBThanks to you, we've got really good sound quality now.

ROBAnd if you enjoy the show and listen regularly, please consider making a donation, all support is greatlyappreciated.

BOBAnd if you're listening to us on the train, or in a noisy environment, be careful about turning it up too loudbecause, it can damage your hearing - especially listening to Rob.

ROBAnd if you're interested in receiving the detailed study notes and the transcripts, then think about becoming aBob and Rob Show member.

BOBOnly $3 bucks a month.

ROBThat's right.

BOBI think we're going to wrap it up now, but we've got some kind of funny quotations for you.

ROBYeah, connected to marriage. I'll read one out, Bob, this is by a chap16 called Peter De Vries, I think. And hesays, "The value of marriage is not that adults produce children, but that children produce adults."

BOBOh, that's great. I think that's very true in my case. I like that that's good. Mine is - I don't know who it's by, butit says, "Love, a temporary insanity curable by marriage."

ROBThat's cool.

BOBThat's a good one too.

ROBI like that.

BOBDefinitely. After marriage a few years it loses some of its luster17, no, it loses some of the passion.

9ROBSome of the edge, maybe? Well, I guess it depends on the relationship.

BOBHow about your relationship?

ROBCompletely flat18. No, I'm very happy, I love my wife and we're doing well.

BOBIt's just that a few years after the marriage - its not that it loses its excitement its just like a bottle of wine, itmellows19.

ROBIt mellows and matures, and tastes just as sweet.

BOBOr, it goes flat like beer like you said. Okay, todays song is called - who would guess - but it's called "TheWedding Song," and it's by, The Andy Johnston Explosion. Kind of an interesting name for a group. And wegot this song from podshow.com, if you want to learn more about the artist go to www.podshow.music.com."So much in the world is wrong, but you've never been a part of that. You've been so right for so long."

ROBVery nice.

BOBSo that's it for the Wedding Show.

ROBAnd if you're intending to get married, all the best.

BOBAll the best, yes, and good luck as you go down the aisle, or I should say, walk down the aisle. Goodbyeeveryone.

ROBBye, bye.

Promise me you won't change / I ask a simple question that I'm not sure I really have an answer / Tell me youwon't change / That you'll always be the girl I see standing there in front of me today / Besides me where Isleep / The girl with jet black20 hair, and love that keeps keeping me awake / Would you take my name / Somuch in the world is wrong / To have never been a part of that you've been so right for so long / You're justme / Somehow everything I need, and I've been wondering if I'd survive if you were gone / I'm not asking formuch / Just to feel you're behind me, and your body come alive inside my clutch / I won't ask for much /There's no end to all the ecstasy I've known under the fire of your touch / And fire in your mind / I want towake up every morning of my life to realize that you are mine / God knows I will be yours / So much in theworld is wrong / You've never been a part of that / You've been so right for so long / You're just like me /Somehow every thing I need / And I've been wondering if I'd survive if you were gone / Promise me you won'tchange / I ask a simple question and I'm not really sure I have the nerve to say / Tell me you won't change /That you will always be the girl I see standing there in front of me today / And besides me where I sleep / Thegirl with the jet black hair and love that keeps keeping me awake / Will you take my name.

Extension and Review Study*note: we encourage you to respond to the questions and readings by posting on the discussion board (Loginusing your Bob and Rob Show membership username and password)http://englishcaster.com/discussionboard/

1/ Have you ever tied the knot or walked down the aisle? If yes, describe the occasion. If not, describe whatyour ideal wedding day would be like.

2/ Does your society and culture expect the father to give his daughter away on her wedding day? How doyou feel about this? Is it common in your country for the father of the bride to foot the wedding bill? Again,what do you think about this custom?

10

Glossary 1 Engagement = most engagements last approximately one year, but it obviously varies a lot.2 Fianc_e = this is the woman who is engaged to be married. The man is referred to as a fianc_ and this wordis pronounced the same.3 shotgun wedding = Many young couples whose marriage is frowned upon by family and relatives oftenelope, which means o run off and get married in secret. This was more common in the past though.4 maid of honor = we can use this expression in Britain too, but we spell honor with an extra u: honour.5 Peter De Vries = Find out more about Peter here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_De_Vries6 city hall = Many parts of Britain refer to these as town halls. This is British English.7 the papers = these are the legally binding marriage contracts as recognized by the state.8 Pomp = This comes from the Pomp and Circumstance Marches composed by Edward Elgar. The title istaken from Act III of Shakespeare's Othello.9 put a lot of time and energy into = a useful chunk of language to remember. If you put time intosomething, it means you spend a lot of time planning and preparing for it. E.g: I put a lot of time into myexams.10 Do = have is also acceptable here.11 Real = In this sentence, British English requires the fuller adverb really.12 best man = often this is the brother of the groom or his best friend.13 Ushers = They usually wear the same suits, but it does depend on the expense of the wedding.14 Site = the word building was omitted, so it should have read building site.15 full stomach = this means you have eaten too much, and feel lethargic.16 Chap = British English for man. A British slang term for the same meaning is bloke.17 Luster = passion18 Flat = if a relationship is flat, then it is no longer interesting.19 Mellows = matures is probably a more common verb used with wine..20 jet black = completely black. We dont use jet with other colors.