eneagrama

ONESseek a perfect world and work diligently to improve both themselves and everyone and everything around them.BASIC CONCERN:What is right or wrong, correct or incorrect?

TWOSwant to be liked, try to meet the needs of others, and attempt to orchestrate the people and events in their lives.BASIC CONCERN: Am I needed? Will others like me?

Ones and Twos can appear similar because both have sets of rules that they expect others to adhere to, then become upset and reactive when others do not follow these. However, on closer examination, Ones have far more rules and expectations than do Twos, and their expectations cover a wider array of behaviors. For example, Ones often have rules governing work style, work product, how things should be organized, how people should behave in a variety of situations, dress codes that define what is appropriate and inappropriate attire in a variety of circumstances, and more. The Twos rules are far more focused on interpersonal relationships and how people should treat one another. Although Ones and Twos can both be self-critical and critical of others, most Ones are more consistently self-critical than Twos as well as more overtly judgmental of others. For example, the Ones inner critic or judge is activated eighty to ninety percent of the time or more, whereas the Twos criticism of self and others is less frequent and more activated by highly distressing events.

Some may confuse Ones and Twos because both are dutiful and want to perceive themselves and have others view them as good and responsible. However, Ones and Twos have very different meanings for these words. Ones believe they are good and, therefore, valued if they do everything right and make few mistakes, and responsible means they keep their commitments, do their work well, deliver it on time, and are punctual. Twos believe they are good and, therefore, valued, if they are thoughtful, considerate, and focused on others, and responsible means they are always available when others are in need and that they dont disappoint the people in their lives.

Ones and Two are markedly different in many ways. For example, Ones speak definitively, offer opinions, judgments, and ideas, and use language that suggests they are evaluating people and situations for example, Ones use words such asshould,ought,right,wrong, andappropriatewith great frequency. Twos, by contrast, speak with a softer tone of voice, ask questions of others to engage them and draw them in conversation, offer advice frequently, and focus on others in a way that makes people feel important. While some Ones can be very warm, they are rarely as consistently warm and empathic as Twos.

A helpful way to understand the distinction between Ones and Twos is that Ones look internally to determine whether or not they have done a good job, made a mistake, or were effective, while Twos are more highly affected by how others perceive them than by how they view themselves. In other words, Twos have a strong inclination to perceive themselves through the eyes of other people rather than having a strong interior sense of how valuable they are and how well they did something. While they may not directly solicit the opinions of others regarding the merit of their work or behavior, Twos pay greater attention to nonverbal cues and interpersonal behavior and are far more affected by the positive and negative reactions of other people.


THREESorganize their lives to achieve specific goals and to appear successful in order to gain the respect and admiration of others.BASIC CONCERN:How can I gain the respect and esteem of others?

Ones and Threes have some strong similarities. Both have a deep desire to excel, have a need both to perceive themselves and to have others view them as highly competent individuals, and are extremely task-focused. However, the Ones drive to excel comes from an internal sense of satisfaction that they have accomplished a specific task to the very best of their ability; Ones seek self-respect through their accomplishments by using their own internal standards to make this determination. By contrast, Threes are driven by a need to feel they have succeeded in the eyes of others around them, seeking the respect and admiration of other people, often using external factors as their primary referents for example, how important people respond to them, how they compare to their mental ideal (usually based on a real or imagined role model) of how they should be, who their friends are, and/or their salaries, pay raises, and office trappings.

Similarly, although both Ones and Threes have a deeply felt need to feel and appear competent, Ones use their own view of their competence as a guide, whereas Threes are far more focused on whether others respond to them in this way. Finally, both Ones and Threes emphasize tasks over relationships which is not to say that either ignores people and individuals of both Enneagram styles focus on their tasks then organize the work accordingly. However, the Threes tasks are typically activities they need to complete as efficiently as possible so they can quickly move on in pursuit of their goals, while Ones like to organize their work at a highly refined level of detail; structuring work with great precision gives them pleasure and satisfaction. Ones may also procrastinate for fear of making a mistake, where Threes tend to want to find the fastest, most efficient path to the goal and do not place such emphasis on the possibility of making a mistake.

The difference between Ones and Threes is most obvious in the way each defines quality. While both would say they are quality oriented, Ones define quality as doing the best job they are capable of doing with no errors or mistakes, if humanly possible. Threes define quality as meeting customer expectations, then going beyond that so that the customer is more than satisfied. However, from the Three point of view, doing every project and task as perfectly as possible is a poor use of time and resources and good enough plus some is good enough. From the One perspective, if there are mistakes or they know it could have been better, even if the customer is not aware of this or concerned about it, quality has not been achieved. For Ones, good enough is rarely good enough.

Finally, there is a subtype of Three self-preservation Three that can be confused with Enneagram Ones. Self-preservation subtype Threes try to create an image of being the perfect model of whatever role they play for example, the perfect wife, parent, coworker, or boss. They want to be seen as good at whatever they do, both in terms of accomplishments and being morally good, and they try to behave in a way that matches their ideal of someone in a similar role who does things the right way. On the surface, self-preservation Threes can appear like Ones especially the social subtype One in that they endeavor to model correct behavior. However, their drives or motivations are entirely different. Threes use others the audience as their frame of reference for what they strive to achieve, while Ones use their own internal standards in determining what they should do.


FOURSdesire deep connections with their inner worlds and with other people, and they feel most alive when authentically expressing their feelings.BASIC CONCERN:Will I be rejected or feel deficient? Can I express myself?

Ones and Fours can appear similar because both take work tasks seriously and want to do the best job they can. However, Ones focus more on the structure, process, and details of completing tasks, while Fours focus more on relationships, people, and their own creative expression. Both Ones and Fours are idealistic and appreciate quality, but Ones focus most on making things as perfect as they can be according to their own internal standards and base their judgments on their internal, body-based sense and strong opinions of how things should be. Fours value creativity, authenticity, and aesthetics beyond a specific and precise idea or definition of perfection and are far more conscious of how things look to other people or what feels right to them from an emotional perspective.

Both Ones and Fours can be self-critical, but the Ones inner critic provides a running commentary on how everything could have been done more perfectly; the Fours self-criticism comes from a deeper sense of something being fundamentally flawed or wrong within them. Ones take note of grammatical errors or other specific elements that seem out of alignment or less than ideal, often with little or no emotional reaction other than irritation, whereas Fours frequently notice what is missing in a given situation and in themselves in a much broader, less specific sense and may have deep feeling reactions for example, anger, pain, or angst to what they see as absent or not good enough.

Ones and Fours also differ from one another in several ways. Fours focus on other people, paying a great deal of attention to interpersonal interactions on an emotional level and how much they feel connected or disconnected to the people around them. Ones are more likely to focus on the structure of work relationships or the structure of work-related tasks.

Ones often see things in black and white for example, thinking there is one right way to approach a task while Fours approach situations with more nuance, creativity, and self-expression and, as a result, are more likely to see many ways to approach tasks and projects. While individuals of both styles want to perform at a high-level and may be perfectionistic in what they do, the Ones priorities lie in following the rules and structure and making something as good as it can possibly be according to the Ones standards. Fours focus more on creativity, authentic self-expression, and whether others perceive them as special and unique.

In terms of emotional tone, Ones and Fours can appear quite different to an outside observer. Ones seem more reserved and self-controlled, although they do become annoyed and irritated when others dont follow the rules or perform up to the Ones standards and expectations. Fours, on the other hand, tend to be more emotional with far more varied moods some of which are unpredictable and are generally empathic, having an understanding and compassion for the range of feelings that they believe are part of the human condition. As a result of these differences in emotional tone, Ones tend to be more controlled, straightforward, concise, and precise, while Fours can be dramatic, emotionally expressive, and far less predictable in their communications with others.


FIVESthirst for information and knowledge and use emotional detachment as a way of keeping involvement with others to a minimum.BASIC CONCERN:Will demands be made on me for my time, energy, and resources?

Enneagram styles One and Five can appear very similar because they both tend to be reserved, logical, and task-focused, and both styles may appear serious and withdrawn. Ones and Fives both value independence, self-reliance, and self-sufficiency, although Fives generally require more privacy than Ones. Both seek knowledge; Fives do so because the acquisition of knowledge makes them feel both more potent and in control of situations, while Ones pursue knowledge in order to be more competent and correct. Both can appear intellectual and knowledgeable, and they often excel at logical, objective analysis. Ones strive for objectivity because this helps them be more correct, act more responsibly, and make fewer mistakes; Fives strive for objectivity because they like to analyze situations from a detached perspective and want to understand how everything fits and works together as a system. Both understand boundaries and the need for them, although Fives have much stronger and clearer boundaries than Ones. In addition, both Ones and Fives are diligent and practical, with Ones being more rules-based and Fives being more appreciative of simplicity and resource conservation, and both styles can be judgmental, applying their own internal standards when judging their own or others work.

While Ones and Fives share some characteristics, the two styles also have some fundamental differences. While Fives can be self-critical, Ones are much more so, having an inner critic commenting on almost everything the One says and does. Ones also tend to be more judgmental of others than Fives, and they can be openly angry or irritated when others do not follow the rules or do not do things the right way that is, according to the Ones sense of the right way to act. Although neither style feels comfortable sharing feelings publically and both Ones and Fives tend to hold back or control their emotional responses, Ones feelings tend to show externally more than Fives, who almost always maintain a calm reserve, even in times of stress. Ones experience anger fairly regularly, and although they try to restrain its outward expression, the Ones anger often manifests as irritation, annoyance, or frustration, particularly when people do not perform as the One thinks they should. On the other hand, Fives are more likely to keep their thoughts, and especially their feelings, to themselves; Fives automatically detach from feelings as they are occurring, and it is very rare for them to share their emotions with others, particularly in the work setting.


SIXEShave insightful minds, are prone to worry, and create worst-case scenarios to help themselves feel prepared in case something goes wrong.BASIC CONCERN:What could go wrong here? Whom can I trust? Am I making the best decisions?

Ones and Sixes share several common traits. Both Ones and Sixes excel at analytical thinking, and both worry and become concerned about the possibility of something going wrong. However, Ones feel anxious about not being perfect, while Sixes experience anxiety related to all the different things that could potentially going wrong. In response to their worry, Ones seek perfection and avoid mistakes while Sixes anticipate and imagine worst-case scenarios so they can create contingency plans as a way of proactively preparing for the wide variety of problems that could possibly occur. Although phobic Sixes (the more overtly fearful Sixes) exhibit more worst-case scenario planning than do counterphobic Sixes (Sixes who act courageous as a way to prove they are not afraid), counterphobic Sixes still engage in rapid problem-oriented scenario development and contingency planning.

Both Ones and Sixes can be uncomfortable with success, even as they desire it. Both styles can also create problems for themselves related to completing tasks and moving toward success; Ones often believe that nothing is never perfect enough and constantly criticize themselves, and Sixes continually doubt and question themselves, believing that becoming successful will make them a target of attack. Individuals of both styles also tend to be activists in support of social causes they care about, but they do it for different reasons. Ones become activists because they feel responsible for making the world a more perfect place while Sixes support social causes because they are sensitive to people in authority positions exercising power over others in unjust or unfair ways.

Ones and Sixes also differ in several ways. Ones worry about making mistakes and being wrong according to their own internal standards, while Sixes worry most about eternal danger and threats of all kinds. Ones are judgmental and critical of themselves and others particularly when a mistake is made and Sixes are more doubtful than judgmental, doubting themselves and others on a highly consistent basis as a way to avoid danger and to find some degree of certainty and reassurance that everything will be okay. Both Ones and Sixes can procrastinate, but they do it for different reasons: Ones delay doing something fear making a mistake, always wanting more time to make it more perfect; Sixes procrastinate as a result of their continual doubting of self and others, making it hard for them to know what to do and how best to move forward.

A particularly stark contrast between Ones and Sixes is their relationship to authority. In general, Ones tend to respect and obey authority, while Sixes tend to be suspicious of authority and even rebel against it. Ones follow the rules, while Sixes question them. Ones and Sixes also differ with respect to trusting others. Ones tend to trust people, giving them the benefit of the doubt unless they break the rules or engage in some other behavior that they judge as bad or wrong. Sixes, by contrast, mistrust others initially that is, until Sixes have observed the other person enough to feel satisfied that this person means them no harm. After a person has earned their trust, Sixes remain loyal and supportive.

Finally, another distinction can be made between the self-preservation subtype One and the phobic Six. Self-preservation Ones and phobic Sixes can be look-alikes because both worry a great deal and have a high degree of anxiety, although their anxiety comes from different sources. Self-preservation Ones worry because they believe that their security depends upon getting everything right. They are the true perfectionists, and they sense that if they dont take the right action and do everything perfectly, something bad will happen. The phobic Sixes worry is not centered on doing things perfectly or seeing the world in terms of right and wrong and wanting to get it right; they worry as a way of detecting signs of danger in the outside world, believing that anticipating, preparing, and planning for what could go wrong will make them feel secure.


SEVENScrave the stimulation of new ideas, people, and experiences, avoid pain, and create elaborate future plans to keep their options open.BASIC CONCERN:What is exciting? Do I feel constrained? Can I avoid pain?

Ones and Sevens are both quality oriented, idealistic, and visionary. Ones focus their attention to attaining the highest standards in work and other aspects of their lives and want things to be perfect, working hard to make everything fit their internally generated, idealized sense of perfection. Sevens seek the best possible experience in everything they do, particularly in their recreational pursuits, and are being supremely optimistic and positive, especially about future options and plans. Both Ones and Sevens have a great deal of energy; Ones apply their energy diligently to everything they do, while Sevens dedicate themselves only to the activities that keep them stimulated and interested. Both Enneagram styles can also be perfectionistic, intellectual, and analytical and they like to figure things out and solve problems quickly. Ones are generally more consistently concerned with perfection and tend to approach problem solving with more rigor and patience than do Sevens, who let go of their perfectionism when an activity or task becomes too onerous for example, too much work is involved, too many obstacles appear, or the task becomes routine and boring. Finally, both Ones and Sevens are sensitive to criticism, although Ones are more likely to express their responses with direct comments, and Sevens are more likely to defuse the criticism through humor or rationalization.

Ones and Sevens also have striking differences. For Ones, work almost always takes precedence over play; for Sevens, planning for play and engaging in pleasurable activities is often more important to them than tasks. Although many Sevens are highly dedicated to their work, they may be even more dedicated to their non-work pursuits or they may try to transform their work activities into fun. Ones are idealistic, but they are not particularly optimistic for example, they continuously find errors as a means for improvement. Sevens, by contrast, are relentlessly optimistic unless they are distressed. Because Ones naturally pay attention to errors that need correcting, they can seem to Sevens to focus too much on the negative. On the other hand, the Sevens continuous optimism and focus on the positive can seem unrealistic and annoying to many Ones.

Ones like to structure their work to work in environments that have clear rules and prescribed limits, while Sevens dislike feeling constrained under all circumstances and may have a difficult time with rules and processes that feel limiting. For example, Sevens do not like clear authority hierarchies because Sevens believe everyone is equal; this belief equalizes or neutralizes the authority of their bosses who have the potential to limit the Sevens freedom. Ones, however, work well and even flourish within defined authority structures. Further, Ones often excel at managing the details of projects and tasks, while Sevens can find this kind of work tedious.

Ones and Sevens also differ in their relationships with others. Although Ones can be critical and inflexible, they are also so strongly committed to self-improvement that, in many cases, they will listen to negative feedback, try to understand it, and then dedicate themselves to both working on the issues raised and preserving the relationship with the person offering the feedback. Sevens bring an abundance of positive energy, engagement, and fun to their relationships, but their sensitivity to criticism and avoidance of pain make it very challenging for them to (1) respond positively to negative feedback, (2) discuss difficult issues that may need to be addressed, or (3) stay engaged in relationships that cause them discomfort.


EIGHTSpursue the truth, like to keep situations under control, want to make important things happen, and try to hide their vulnerability.BASIC CONCERN:Is everything under control in an effective and just way?

Ones and Eights look similar in some respects because both are high-energy, hardworking, and like to establish control and order, and they tend to engage in black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinking. Both get angry, but they experience and express their anger in very different ways. Ones try to hold back their anger because they believe that showing anger is wrong. At the same time, it is hard for Ones to completely shut off their reactions, and their anger tends to show anyway, albeit in a milder form than they actually feel for example, through lower intensity responses such as resentment, irritation, and annoyance. Eights, on the other hand, feel and express anger more readily, and they do not believe it is wrong to be angry. Angry Eight leave no ambiguity regarding how they feel. They may say something immediately and intensely or become stony silent. When Ones get angry, it is usually when people break the rules or engage in bad behavior, while Eights become angry for a wider range of reasons for example, being lied to, someone not living up to his or her potential, not being told something important, and more.

Both Ones and Eights like to be in control but Ones control by self-control as well as by relying on defined rules, structure, and standards, while Eights exercise power and control in more direct ways. For example, Eights use simple yet emphatic declarative sentences, take charge and tell others what to do, and appear non-vulnerable, if not invulnerable. Ones and Eights are also concerned about justice and fairness and can work hard in support of a cause they believe in, and both styles frequently overwork, seriously neglecting their own needs in the process.

There are some key areas that clearly differentiate Ones from Eights. Eights think in terms of the big picture, enjoy high-level strategic work, and dislike having to deal with details (even though some Eights are good at precision work). Ones relish hands-on experience and the satisfaction of completing concrete tasks. When engaged in a task, Ones emphasize achieving perfection, exerting a great deal of effort to make the work as good as it can possibly be. Eights, by contrast, want action to happen fast and can be satisfied with something that is good enough, as long as the impact is strong. When communicating with others, Ones tend to be polite and restrained even when upset, and use words likeshouldandought. Eights, by contrast, can be direct, abrupt, intimidating, and even profane and use commanding words likewillandhave to.

Eights tend to act on their impulses, can be excessive, and strongly dislike feeling inhibited, and they often move into action quickly, feeling much freer to exercise their power and exert their will without analyzing themselves or entertaining critical thoughts about their intentions. Ones tend to over-control their impulses and delay pleasurable activities, being more focused on exhibiting the correct behavior than on indulging themselves. Although Eights can at times be very hard on themselves, they do not criticize themselves as excessively or continuously as Ones, who are extremely self-critical most of the time.

Ones and Eights also have very different relationships to authority and authority figures. Ones typically observe and obey authority figures, while Eights usually presume they are the authority and do not like being told what to do by others, often rebelling against authority under a variety of circumstances. For example, when Eights do not think the authority figure knows what he or she is doing, they take charge. When they believe an authority is abusing power, Eights become confrontational and aggressive.


NINESseek peace, harmony, and positive mutual regard and dislike conflict, tension, rudeness, and ill will.BASIC CONCERN:Is everyone being heard, including me?

Ones and Nines share several characteristics. Both appreciate structure and process in the work setting, with Ones emphasizing structure and Nines preferring process. They make good mediators, Nines because they easily see many sides of an issue and feel motivated to create harmony and Ones because they often have a high degree of integrity and tend to be objective and discerning judges. Both can have difficultly noticing and then asserting their own deeper desires because they are prone to denying their own needs, particularly when overworked. In addition, both can be perfectionistic, with Ones usually more so than Nines, and they normally work well within and respect the existing authority structure. Nines, however, will sometimes rebel in subtle, passive ways if they feel controlled and Ones may rebel as a way to reform and perfect the organization.

Many differences also exist Ones and Nines. Ones have strong opinions that they frequently vocalize, often thinking in black and white while also being convinced that they know the one right way to do something. Nines, who see many shades of grey in any issue or situation, often have difficulty identifying their own opinions, which is a consequence of their being so attuned to other peoples varied perspectives. When discussing issues with others, Nines rarely assert their position early on, while Ones often take a strong position initially and assume that theirs is the only correct point of view.

Neither Ones nor Nines like conflict that involves them directly and try to avoid it if they can. Nines dislike conflict far more than Ones, who will engage in arguments when they feel strongly about something or when they feel compelled to enforce the rules. The Nines aversion to conflict is foundational to their personality that is, conflict threatens the harmony and well being they seek so fervently.

When accomplishing tasks, Ones like to do things their way and are far more directive than Nines, and focus their efforts to make everything as perfect as possible and relying on their own internal standards as their guide. Nines, by contrast, adapt to others and are more likely to go along with someone elses plan or agenda than to assert their own. Nines are far more oriented to what other people think and want and therefore seek consensus, working collaboratively with others to decide what the standards and plan should be. Ones are very observant of the rules wanting everyone to follow the rules and they will confront those who do not. Nines are more easygoing, tend to go with the flow, and are much less likely to confront rule violations directly; in the Nines mind, it is not worth it, and they do not want to create tension or conflict.

Ones and Nines also have very different interpersonal styles. Ones usually appear responsible, polite, well mannered, intense, and highly focused but they can also seem uptight, judgmental, and inflexible. Nines usually appear peaceful, mellow, friendly, relaxed, and tolerant, but they can also seem vague, unassertive, and low energy.

TWOSwant to be liked, try to meet the needs of others, and attempt to orchestrate the people and events in their lives.BASIC CONCERN:Am I needed? Will others like me?


On the surface, Twos and Threes can appear very much alike. Both attempt to manage their image and self-presentation in order to please or attract others and tend to be competent and energetic, although Threes place more emphasis than Twos on appearing competent and tend to be more consistently energetic. Twos and Threes pay a great deal of attention to creating an impression that they believe matches what others value; Twos, however, focus more on meeting others needs and appearing friendly, likable, and thoughtful, while Threes focus more on achieving goals and appearing confident and successful in order to win the admiration and respect of others. Both are driven to be productive and also desire the approval of others. Twos, however, are more relationship-oriented and are motivated by earning others affection and being considered indispensable. Being more task-oriented, Threes are motivated by the good feeling they get when they reach a goal and the satisfaction that comes with appearing successful in the eyes of others.

Both Twos and Threes can be confused about who they really are deep inside that is, who or what is their true self because they spend so much energy creating and maintaining an image designed to elicit a positive response from others. As a result of this other-directed focus, it can be difficult for Two and Three individuals to have a clear sense of who they really are. Related to this, both styles tend to avoid or defer their own emotional reactions: Threes do so because feelings can get in the way of accomplishing tasks, and Twos believe that feelings particularly negative ones can get in the way of forging positive connections with other people.

Despite their many shared characteristics, Twos and Threes also differ in significant ways. While both styles repress or submerge their feelings, Twos do this less completely and tend to feel and express more emotions more frequently than Threes. While Threes can be very competitive and see winning as important, Twos are less oriented to competition, believing that aligning themselves with others is more important than coming out on top. Although both can become angry at times, Twos tend to express anger when their unacknowledged needs are not met or when they feel unappreciated, and Threes become angry when someone puts an obstacle between them and their goal.

At work, Threes can emphasize work to such a degree that they become workaholics. They pay a great deal of attention to goals and performance and, as a result, become highly focused on efficiency and the creation of plans to achieve their goals. When focused on specific goals and under time pressure, Threes may have a hard time listening or making time for other people. Twos can also be very hard working, but it is rare for them to achieve the same level of workaholism because they place a higher value on relationships and pleasure. In addition, Twos place such a priority on what others need from them that they adapt their agendas and priorities more to the goals and needs of other individuals or groups for which they feel responsible. As a result, they tend to be very empathic and available to their friends, colleagues, and important others, even at the expense of their own work. In contrast to Threes, who can focus like a laser beam on their goals and related tasks, Twos may abandon their own work in favor of meeting the needs or supporting the efforts of other people.

Finally, Twos and Threes differ in terms of what they avoid most: Twos work hard, sometimes behind the scenes, at achieving positive connections with others to avoid experiencing rejection or not feeling valued, and Threes structure their work and other goal-directed activities to avoid failure. Because of this, Twos tend to be less direct and assertive than Threes, and Threes are far more overtly competitive and driven to win, typically reframing failures as learning experiences.



Both Twos and Fours are keenly aware of their image and pay a great deal of attention to how others perceive them, with Twos wanting to be perceived as likable, friendly, and appealing and Fours wanting to be viewed as special, unique, and different. Both are sensitive to how others perceive and feel about them and this contributes to both styles being self-critical, with both Twos and Fours judging themselves for not being good enough when someone does not respond favorably. Twos and Fours are both emotional, although Twos may also repress certain feelings and be out of touch with their deeper responses, while Fours often over-identify with their feelings and may dwell on certain feelings as a way to avoid other feelings they are having. Interpersonally, both have a great capacity for empathy and, as a result, are often skilled at creating relationships based on their ability to both listen and understand other peoples thoughts and feelings.

Twos and Fours also differ in many respects. Twos want to be helpful and meet others needs and often neglect their own needs in the process. Fours, by contrast, have far more access to their own needs and make their own desires a higher priority. In other words, Twos are more other-focused; that is, they pay more attention to what others feel and need than to their own feelings and needs and place a high value on being liked, often adapting their self-presentation to be what they think others want them to be. Fours focus their attention primarily on themselves and their own inner experience, valuing authenticity and presenting themselves as they believe they truly are. As a result, Fours do not alter themselves nearly as much in order to please other people.

When working on a project with others, Twos can be averse to conflict because they fear conflict will destroy valued connections with others, while Fours are more able to engage in conflict when necessary, finding it more important to express truthful feelings and needs than to accommodate others and avoid anger. Overall, Twos are usually more optimistic, supportive, and upbeat in their mood and emotional presentation, while Fours can dwell more in melancholy and sadness and often focus on what is missing in a situation.

In many ways, Two and Fours are opposite sides of the same coin. Both share a perspective that the world is comprised of distress and suffering as well as joy and opportunity. However, they differ in response to this worldview. Twos believe that it is their job and responsibility to alleviate suffering and pain by being available to, helping, and giving useful advice to others, while Fours believe that one must experience and endure the more difficult parts of life in order to ultimately achieve joy and pleasure.



While Twos and Fives are in some ways opposites, they do have some traits in common. Both Twos and Fives can withdraw when feeling vulnerable and need time alone; Fives rely on this strategy far more often and in more situations than Twos, unless the Two is highly introverted or is a self-preservation subtype Two. Both Twos and Fives place a high value on independence, although this is more of a way of life for Fives. For Twos, being independent can be either an authentic desire to be free of constantly focusing on others or, more typically, a way to defend against feeling too dependent on other people.

In many respects, Twos and Fives are quite different. Twos feel their emotions fairly frequently, although not always as strongly as they really are, and they tend to respond to people and events far more strongly due to their more intuitive, feelings-based approach to interactions. Fives habitually and automatically detach from their emotions; they can seem very reserved, unemotional, and analytical because of their more objective and intellectual way of approaching tasks and discussions.

Twos like to be around people and actively seek close relationships with others, focusing their attention on other peoples feelings and needs. Fives highly value their privacy, personal space, and alone time and are generally less relationship-oriented. They often purposely avoid becoming too involved with other people, particularly when the involvement includes having to deal with the emotions and needs of others. In general, Fives feel drained of their energy and resources when they have to interact with others for extended periods of time. Twos typically feel energized and affirmed by close, positive contact with other people, especially close friends and individuals who are important to them. Most Twos give very generously to others, at times even offering too much of themselves or their resources. By contrast, Fives are usually more withholding, having the ongoing concern that others will take too much of their resources for example, time and energy that they believe they need for themselves.

Additionally, Twos can have a difficult time setting and adhering to appropriate boundaries between themselves and others, while Fives tend to be very mindful of establishing clear, firm boundaries with other people. For example, Twos can have a hard time saying no to others, even when they dont want to do something or when they are feeling depleted; Fives can say no relatively easily if they dont want to meet another persons need. Similarly, Twos usually consider themselves to be high-energy people who can readily devote a good deal of their time and energy to others, while Fives have the sense they have limited energy and, as a result, conserve their energy for their own needs.



In some respects, Twos and Sixes can look similar as both can worry and be fearful, but their fears have different sources. Sixes worry about overall safety, bad things happening, and problems occurring, while Twos worry more about people for example, whether or not people will perceive them in a positive light, the possibility of being rejected, and the safety and well being of specific individuals who are important to them. Both Twos and Sixes are often adept at reading people, but they do so with different aims: Sixes look for hidden agendas, whether someone is trustworthy, and the potential threats posed by that individual, while Twos try to assess other peoples moods and needs as a way for Twos to connect and establish relationships. When they relate to others, Twos try to present an image that will please people or that help create an interpersonal alignment, and they want to be appreciated and acknowledged. Sixes are not particularly concerned about creating a particular image, being far more focused on making sure others do not intend to do them harm.

Both Twos and Sixes can worry about what will go wrong and work hard to make things go well. However, Sixes do this because they are good troubleshooters and want to anticipate problems before they happen so they can prepare a solution, while Twos engage in this behavior because they want to appear useful and attractive, and as a way to take care of others. Both can have difficulty making decisions. Twos can feel challenged when making choices between alternatives because of two factors: (1) Twos focus so much attention on other people that they become unaware of their own preferences, and (2) Twos may experience anxiety and dismay when they know what they should do but the best choice has a potentially negative impact on people. By contrast, decision making can be challenging for Sixes because they continually doubt themselves and question the alternatives, fearing that making the wrong choice will have damaging consequences.

Twos and Sixes also differ in significant ways. Sixes usually feel suspicious of or rebellious toward authority figures, although they may try to initially befriend them as a way to minimize the chance of the authority causing them harm, doing so by demonstrating their dutifulness and loyalty. Twos try to form good, long-lasting relationships with those in authority, wanting these individuals as well as other important people to like them and often try to become indispensable to them; rather than being mistrustful of authority, Twos often like influential people and try to develop close, long-lasting relationships with them.

Sixes also catastrophize and engage in worst-case scenario thinking much more than Twos do. Twos are usually optimistic; while they may sometimes imagine that people dont like them or worry about what might happen to others they care about, Twos usually do not think in terms of the worst that can occur. Twos and Sixes also deal with conflict differently. While Twos generally prefer to avoid conflict if they can, all Sixes (but especially counterphobic Sixes) may move toward and even initiate conflict. This arises from their need to challenge authority figures whom they believe are abusing their power.

Finally, there are specific similarities between Twos and the self-preservation subtype Six. Both Twos and self-preservation Sixes are warm and spend considerable energy and effort to create friendships. However, Twos try to attract friends based on their desire to be liked and need to be affirmed as this provides them with a sense of personal well being and self worth. Self-preservation Sixes also try to develop warm and friendly relationships, but do so because they believe that these relationships serve as alliances that will provide protection from outside threats, thus keeping them safe.



Twos and Sevens can appear similar, with both having upbeat, energetic, fun-loving, and optimistic attitudes. The Twos optimistic orientation gets other people to respond positively to them; after all, people like happy people (or so the Two thinks). The Sevens positive outlook is more foundational to their personality the Seven motto is Why worry, be happy and also a result of their agility in imagining positive possibilities and their avoidance of the negative. Both Twos and Sevens have hedonistic tendencies; they like to have a good time and experience pleasure, but their aims behind their pleasure seeking differ. Twos want positive experiences with others in order to build and enjoy relationships, and they may also indulge themselves as a way to address their feelings of deprivation or neediness that stem from not fulfilling their own needs. Sevens use seeking pleasure as a way of distracting themselves and avoiding discomfort and pain for example, feelings of sadness, fear, or anxiety. Both styles enjoy relating to other people and may idealize individuals they especially like; Twos idealize others as a way get these individuals to affirm the Twos likability, and Sevens idealize certain individuals when they feel particularly stimulated and engaged by this person.

There are also significant differences between Twos and Sevens. Twos pay a great deal of attention to other people, focusing on their moods and needs as a way of aligning with them and creating positive connections. This makes most Twos highly empathic; they can actually feel exactly what another person is feeling without having to be told explicitly. Sevens focus more on themselves, seeking fulfillment of their own desires as a way of averting or distracting themselves from the possibility of negative experiences. The Sevens self-focus creates challenges in feeling anothers feelings and empathizing with them. In other words, many Sevens can speculate about how someone else might feel, but this is more often a cerebral conjecture than an actual experience of feeling someone elses feelings.

Twos often adapt themselves to others, abandoning their own needs and desires in an attempt to strengthen their bonds with others. They actively manage their self-presentation as a way of attracting others, trying to appear the way they think others want them to be. By contrast, most Sevens do what they want to do, rarely give up what they desire in order to please someone else, and seldom focus on their image during interpersonal interactions. Instead, Sevens are far more focused on whether or not the interaction is stimulating and engaging to them. At a fundamental level, Twos are motivated by pleasing others, while Sevens are motivated by participating in interesting, exciting, and pleasurable activities, focusing more on pleasing themselves.

In addition, Twos tend to be feeling-oriented, having regular contact with their emotions and sensitive to the feelings of others, while Sevens are more mentally oriented, with a mind constantly engaged in instantaneous mental processing and rapid associations of ideas. As a result, Sevens can have difficulty focusing and completing tasks, especially when these are tedious, boring, or too repetitive. Twos focus far more easily, particularly when they know what are doing will being seen and evaluated by others. In addition, Sevens crave options, feeling excruciatingly limited if they do not have an abundance of them. Twos neither need nor want multiple options; having too many options can make it more difficult for Twos who may not be sure of what they want, need, or think to make a decision.

Finally, social subtype Sevens can appear more similar to Twos than the other two subtypes of Seven; social Sevens are oriented toward being of service to others, and they may sacrifice their own desires for stimulation and excitement in service of the group. Doing this counteracts the social Sevens own impulses and desires and helps them to be seen as good for making this sacrifice. Their focus on the group and what others might need can make social Sevens seem like a friendly, outgoing, and generous Two. However, despite the social Sevens tendency to give more of themselves than the other two subtypes of Seven, they can still be distinguished from Twos by their relentless rapid mental processing, continuous love for new ideas, tendency to talk more than they listen, and clarity about what they want and desire, and their chronic avoidance of difficult experiences and feelings.



Twos and Eights share some common characteristics. They tend to be protective of others and react strongly when they see others being abused; Twos become more reactive when individuals important to them are being treated abusively, while Eights are most activated when the weak or vulnerable are being abused by unjust authority figures. Both can be self-indulgent, hedonistic, and immoderate in their pursuits for example, eating, working, and giving to others. Twos do this as a substitute for their deeper and unattended needs and because they often dont know exactly what or how much they need of something. Eights are excessive because they have big energy and appetites, and they dislike inhibiting or limiting their desires. In a sense, Twos abandon themselves by focusing so extensively on others, and Eights forget their own needs and limits when they take on more and more work without recognizing their own limitations. Both Twos and Eights like to be in control, but for different reasons. Eights like to take charge from a big-picture perspective, want everything under control, and feel compelled to take forward action quickly and effectively. Twos like to be in control because doing so makes them feel capable and valuable, and they believe that their effectiveness in orchestrating people and events contributes to others holding them in high esteem.

There are several ways in which Twos and Eights are markedly different. Twos focus on creating and preserving their image and care a great deal about how people perceive them. Eights care very little about their image and how others view them. Most Eights can feel and express their anger quite readily and are willing to confront most conflict directly, unless they dont care about the situation or the individuals involved. While some Twos are able to confront others and engage in conflict and other Twos are highly reluctant to do so, conflict still takes an emotional toll on all Twos. They most often either repress or avoid expressing their anger because they believe that nice people do not get angry, and they fear that expressing anger may alienate the very people with whom they want to maintain a connection. Additionally, Eights avoid expressing vulnerability, even denying that they have any at all while Twos more easily express theirs vulnerabilities, such as hurt, anxiety, and sadness.

Twos and Eights also have very different orientations to power. Eights enjoy having visible power and influence, as well as understanding and leveraging the political dynamics at work; they are attuned to who has it, how it is used, and how they themselves fit into the power structure. Although Twos often sense issues of power and influence, they shy away from direct involvement in it, although they may influence power dynamics indirectly and out of view. Instead, Twos often align themselves with powerful figures, preferring to be the power behind the throne than being the visible source of power. Visibility in these situations makes most Twos feel anxious and highly vulnerable. Although Eights do not always have to be the boss or the leader, Eights easily step into a leadership role, especially if there is an absence of leadership in a given situation. In addition, Eights can dominate and impose their will on others rather easily, whereas Twos tend to read situations in terms of what is required of them to influence others, then do so using more subtle or indirect means.



Twos and Nines are two Enneagram styles that share many common traits. Both focus on others more than themselves, and they do this so often that they forget or neglect their own needs and wants in favor of allowing others needs and desires to be in the foreground. Both styles overadjust to others, with Twos altering their behavior to what they think other people want so they will be liked and Nines blending into other peoples energy and acceding to their agendas in an effort to create harmony and reduce tension and separation. Twos and Nines can both make excellent mediators because they easily see and understand others perspectives and opinions, sometimes more clearly than their own.

To outside observers, Twos and Nines both appear likable, friendly, and caring. In general, individuals of both styles have limited contact with their anger, although Twos display more palpable anger when their unexpressed needs are not met or when they ask for something and are ignored. Because most Twos and Nines are uncomfortable when they are angry or when someone is upset with them both are oriented to maintaining positive connections with others most Twos and Nines avoid conflict. In addition, they can both engage in passive-aggressive behavior for example, by implyingyesbut without intending to do so or by withdrawing and acting as if everything is fine when it is not. For Twos and Nines, asserting themselves and expressing anger in direct ways runs the risk of breaking important connections with other people.

While Twos and Nines can look very similar, they do have some contrasting traits. While both styles focus more on others more than on themselves, Twos focus more on their own feelings and those of others and they experience a wider range of intense emotions; Nines focus more on maintaining harmony with individuals and groups, and they tend to be more steady, temperate and even-keeled. Two and Nines also differ in how they relate to others. Twos are more active in relating to other people, proactively sensing and interpreting the needs and preferences of others as a way to align with them emotionally. Nines seek connections with others in a less deliberate way, and they do not intuitively understand other peoples needs as readily as Twos. Although many Nines try to be helpful, they often need others to be explicit about what might be useful. In addition, Twos are more selective when it comes to individuals with whom they seek a friendship. Twos are attracted to some individuals more than others for example, important people and those in need while Nines are more democratic, being easily accessible to anyone who is pleasant and interesting to them.

Finally, Two are generally more active, with higher energy levels and a faster pace than Nines, who usually appear more relaxed and easygoing. While individuals of both styles can easily abandon themselves in favor of others, Twos tend to repress their needs and feelings, while Nines forget or deny their true desires and real opinions. In other words, Twos often know what they are thinking and feeling but are unaware of the strength of these opinions and emotions, while Nines can be completely unaware of their interior reactions.



Threes and Fours can look similar because they have some common characteristics. As Heart Center styles, both Threes and Fours pay a great deal of attention to how others perceive them, try to create a particular image, and emphasize relationships and connections. Threes try to create an image of success and achievement based what they imagine others value, but they avoid or circumvent their own emotions by focusing on tasks and getting things done. Fours try to create an image of being unique, sensitive, and different, while experiencing their emotions deeply and often over-identify with their feelings. In addition, both styles place great importance on and are sensitive to recognition and approval, and they can be intense, hard working, competitive, and inventive, with Fours usually having more originality in their creativity and Threes tending to conform more to social conventions.

Significant differences also exist between Threes and Fours. When Threes focus on tasks, they usually look for the shortest, most efficient, and fastest route to their goal and pursue practical goals in order to achieve success as defined by the context or group in which they want to excel. In order to get things done and keep everything moving forward, Threes try to ignore or submerge their feelings, believing that emotions such as sadness, anxiety, and anger can be distractions to success. Fours are more nonlinear, creative, and organic and they tend to pursue ideals more than goals for example, love, emotional depth through creativity, and authentic expression as a way for them to feel special and unique. Fours also place far more importance on feelings, self-expression, and connections with others and believe that feelings should be felt and then authentically expressed.

Threes strive to match the image of what they believe other people think is most attractive, admirable, or successful, even if it means appearing to be something or someone they are not. They place a high value on seeming to have the outward signs of success for example, the right clothing for the occasion, a car that reflects their image or desired status, friends that reflect well on them, and a winning, can-do interpersonal style. By contrast, Fours place more emphasis on their own internal sense of what they want and feel and value authentic self-expression and deep relationships; they are far less likely to adjust their behavior based on what others may want. Some Fours can be somber in their style, some appear sophisticated, and others have a flair for the dramatic, and all Fours respond to their internal moods more than what is expected of them and can convey a sense that they and/or the situation are deficient in some way that is, missing something that would have otherwise made them successful.

Finally, Threes often appear pragmatic, optimistic, and forward looking and focus on specific goals and plans for reaching them. Fours focus on what is missing in the current situation, what occurred in the past that gave them pain or pleasure, or what is needed in a given situation to fill the gap between the real and the ideal. As a result, Fours often come across as focused more on the past than the present, more idealistic, and less optimistic than Threes.



Threes and Fives can be confused with one another because they share some characteristics. Individuals of both styles value emotional control and try to avoid both feeling and expressing their emotions. Although many Threes have strong emotional reactions, they try to avoid experiencing them too deeply or expressing them too intensely as a way of preventing their emotional reactions from interfering with achieving their goals or tarnishing their image as a confident person who is on top of situations. Fives actually detach from their emotions, disconnecting from them as they occur by confining their breathing that is, not breathing beyond their heads or necks and focusing extensively on thinking and analyzing information. Fives find comfort and safety in thinking and acquiring knowledge; Threes find comfort and ease in doing and performing.

Threes and Fives also share a deep desire to feel competent and to be perceived as competent by other people whose opinions matter to them. As a result, individuals of both styles can be highly sensitive to criticism, especially if they perceive the critique as a challenge to their competence. However, Threes tend to define competence in terms of their performance and achievements, while Fives define competence more in terms of their knowledge and analytical skills.

When others want to forge close relationships with Threes or Fives, both may seem unavailable and difficult to relate to at deeper levels. Threes may appear inaccessible because they are highly identified with their image and unwilling to share more of their real selves, particularly those aspects that may conflict with the image they are trying to project. In general, Fives tend to be inaccessible to others unless they really trust them, and this level of trust takes a long time to develop. Fives withdraw from others as a way to reduce potentially taxing emotional entanglements. In addition, both Threes and Fives value independence and self-sufficiency, and this can interfere with their developing close, interdependent bonds with others.

Significant differences also exist between Threes and Fives. Threes are far more dependent on the approval and admiration of other people and reference groups, and they are focused on creating an image of success; the admiration of others makes Threes feel valued and worthwhile. Fives pride themselves on their autonomy and lack of concern about the perceptions of others. They do not focus on creating and maintaining a particular image other than being highly knowledgeable.

Threes and Fives also differ in their work styles. Threes are primarily oriented toward achieving goals, creating plans, and working on tasks, while Fives place their emphasis on observing, thinking, analyzing, and increasing their knowledge base. Threes expend enormous energy on work itself, thinking nothing of spending whatever amount of time it takes to achieve their chosen goals, even when this requires them to work excessively month after month. Threes can be workaholics, volunteering for extra work and bringing work with them on vacations. Fives emphasize conserving their energy and are reluctant to take on tasks, relationships, and time commitments that they believe will drain them and their resources. Fives feel that their energy can be easily depleted and squandered if they dont conserve their resources for example, time, energy, and effort by setting clear boundaries on their time and commitments.

Although both Threes and Fives can be highly competitive, Threes are more overtly so and display this quality in many more aspects of their lives. For example, Threes are usually adept at marketing themselves, making it obvious often with subtlety and finesse what they are good at, what theyve accomplished, and who they know. Fives, by contrast, feel challenged when they have to market themselves, feeling that doing so is bragging and intrudes on others. Although individuals of both styles like to win, Threes often focus on winning to such an extent that they often ignore what it will cost them personally, while Fives easily disengage from activities when they conclude that the effort is not worth the expenditure of their energy and resources.



Threes and Sixes have some traits in common. Both can be very hardworking and assertive, and Threes and some Sixes especially counterphobic Sixes can be forward moving. Both Threes and Sixes specialize in reading people, although they do this for different reasons. Threes scan their audience to determine what others value so they can create an image or persona that others will view as successful and admirable, matching the particular context and trying to appear confident in what they do. Sixes read others in order to anticipate whether the person is a threat and to protect themselves by looking for hidden agendas and ulterior motives. Both styles can be personable, friendly, and practical, with Threes focused on finding the most efficient path to get to the end-result and gaining approval from others, and Sixes focused on creating safety by knowing who they can count on as an ally and anticipating problems and dangers so they can feel prepared and find proactive solutions.

Threes and Sixes also differ in specific ways. Threes do whatever it takes to achieve success, and they focus on moving quickly and efficiently toward their goals. They assume success will occur and work toward goals without slowing down long enough to think a great deal about what might go wrong. Sixes want success as well, but they also fear it and can actually undermine themselves; they may avoid taking action that leads to success out of fear that success leads to exposure because they believe that exposure leaves them open to being attacked. Sixes are skilled troubleshooters as a result of considering what might go wrong in accomplishing a particular task so they can prepare for it; however, they can also procrastinate for fear of doing it wrong or worrying that an unanticipated problem may arise. Phobic Sixes can appear more uncertain than Threes or counterphobic Sixes a result of their self-doubt and continuous questioning of themselves and others and can sometimes become immobilized or paralyzed by over analysis and imagining worst-case scenarios.

Finally, Threes can usually work well with authorities, as long as they do not interfere with Threes progress toward their goals. When Threes dont respect a particular authority figure, they tend to simply ignore this person whenever possible. Sixes, by contrast, tend to be suspicious of authority figures, fearing these individuals will use their power against them in unfair or abusive ways. As a result, most Sixes try to prove their value and loyalty to authorities by being dutiful and responsible, but then rebel when their well-placed efforts dont work or when the authority figure disappoints them. Other Sixes rebel more quickly and engage in confrontational behavior towards these individuals.



Threes and Sevens can be look-alike styles, sharing many characteristics. Both are high energy and hardworking, especially on projects that they are invested in and find interesting, and they can be charming, engaging, and able to attract others. Threes employ these qualities to gain peoples approval, admiration, and cooperation, while Sevens use charm and engagement as a first line of offense and defense that is, to enlist others in the exchange of ideas and to create an upbeat, positive mood but also to defuse any potential negativity. Both Threes and Sevens are optimistic and confident; Threes want to create an image of achievement and confidence and often have a history of success, and Sevens habitually view things in a positive light, believing in the seemingly endless possibilities available and the abundance of opportunities. The Sevens optimism is also a way for them to avoid difficult issues and feelings, such as fear, sadness, and anxiety. In addition, both styles avoid negative feelings because they believe these slow them down. Threes think that uncomfortable emotions distract them in their forward movement and goal accomplishment, while Sevens believe there is no reason to dwell on difficulties when you could be racing forward with plans and ideas instead.

There are also traits that distinguish Threes from Sevens. Threes excel at focusing on and completing tasks, while Sevens have difficulty maintaining their focus because they are easily distracted by their stimulating ideas, interests, and activities and have a hard time sayingnoto something that grabs their attention. Although Threes and Sevens both enjoy multitasking and keeping busy, Threes multitask by doing between three and six things at once, and Sevens like to juggle as many tasks as possible. Threes will delay doing something that interests them without regret, knowing that restraining themselves enables them to get their deliverables completed and that they can do the desired activity at a later date. Sevens almost always sayyesto something interesting or exciting even when they are impossibly busy. Although they usually find a way to get it all done, it may not be on time or with the quality they intended.

Threes, being more other-oriented, rely on others approval and admiration to affirm their sense of self and personal value, and they cultivate their image and try to manage others perceptions of them. Sevens pay little attention to gaining others approval and even less to maintaining a particular image. Sevens are self-referencing rather than other-referencing that is, they focus far more on their own internal experiences, needs, and desires, than on whether others approve of them.

Threes prioritize work over pleasure, even bringing work home when it is not necessary, and they usually work well within organizational authority structures and their limitations as long as these support the Threes forward progress toward his or her goals. Sevens prioritize pleasure over work whenever possible and dislike hierarchical structures; they try to equalize authority by acting as if authority figures are on the same level as the Seven for example by befriending or ignoring them. This helps Sevens avoid acknowledging that anyone or anything has the right or the role to place limitations on them. Finally, while both Threes and Sevens plan and are future oriented, the Sevens planning is more akin to dreaming about the future and creating ideas that might work, and this makes it difficult for them to pay attention to the present. By contrast, Threes create concrete plans for their specific goals, and focus far more on the present and the tasks in front of them.



Because Threes and Eights have several common characteristics, they can look similar to each other. Both are hardworking, results oriented, direct, and assertive and they focus their energy on moving tasks and projects forward; they can also overwork. Threes are driven to finish tasks in order to reach their goals, no matter how much effort and time it takes, and Eights are prone to forgetting and bypassing their own physical needs and limits because they want to make big things happen. Threes and Eights also have ready access to their anger and express it when necessary, but they usually become angry for different reasons. Threes become impatient and angry when others create obstacles to their goals. Eights become angry and express it more frequently than Threes; their ire is stimulated by a wider array of issues for example, when someone hurts an individual they feel a need to protect, impedes their forward movement, and tells them what to do, or when they feel blindsided or attacked.

Threes and Eights both enjoy being in positions of leadership. Threes like to have direct influence over the goals that are set and how the work is then organized, and they like the image-enhancing effects of having a high status, visible position within the authority structure. Eights want to be in control, to set the overall direction, and to have the power to both set the agenda and oversee the work going forward. Because both want to appear strong and in control of themselves, most Threes and Eights usually have difficulty expressing vulnerable emotions specifically fear and sadness and perceive the expression of these feelings as a display of weakness. Threes believe being emotional interferes with their focus on work, compromises their public image, and has the potential to derail progress toward their goals; although many Threes know when they are feeling uncomfortable or vulnerable, they generally regroup and refocus on work as a way of dealing with these feelings. Eights actually deny their vulnerable feelings and may not even be aware of their emotional discomfort. The denial maintains the Eights sense of strength, power, and control.

Threes and Eights are also very different. Threes are motivated by success and driven to attain their goals and follow their plans, and they cultivate an image of success to gain the admiration of others. Eights pay little attention to their image and care even less about how people perceive them. Instead, Eights are motivated by a desire for influence and power. As a result of these very different motivations, Threes are usually adept at finding the most efficient path or plan to reach a given goal, while Eights often have difficulty knowing exactly how much pressure, energy, and force to use in order to move closer to a particular objective. Threes are more people oriented and are often skilled in assessing how they impact others, athougth they may not fully anticipate the impact of what they do on structures and systems. Eights are more structure and systems focused, instinctively grasping structural and systems impacts, but they often have blind spots in the interpersonal arena.

Although Threes and Eights like to work for bosses they respect and want to understand the organizational rules of the game, they function very differently within organizations. Threes usually work well within existing organizational structures and get along with their bosses, providing neither become an obstacle to their goals. Eights often feel limited by organizational structures, can be rebellious toward authorities, and break the rules if it suits their purposes. Threes may at times also break rules, but they are more likely to subtly circumvent them than to violate them in a bold and visible way.

Both Threes and Eights often describe themselves as honest with a desire for knowing the truth, but they have very different definitions oftruthandhonesty. Eights often believe they instinctively know what truth is; thus, they tend to not solicit the opinions of others unless they are uncertain about a situation which is rare and only if they truly respect someones knowledge or character. Threes are confident but not always certain, and they test their audience to determine what is true or what is the best course of action. Threes also tend to be more diplomatic than Eights and will speak the truth when they believe it is important to do so, but they usually express it with a sensitivity to the impact their words have on another; for Threes, truth and honesty may be relative and somewhat contingent on particular circumstances. For Eights, there is no relative truth or honesty. They say what they think and expect others to do the same.

Finally, Eights often have a stronger sense of who they really are than do Threes. Although everyone can struggle with the question Who am I? at different times in their lives, the Threes facility in adapting their persona to their context can leave them confused about their real or deeper identity. Eights, by contrast, adapt so little to their context that their sense of self does not shift and change to the same degree.



Threes and Nines share the qualities of being optimistic, likable, hardworking, and practical, and they both usually display effective interpersonal skills. In addition, both also depend on external support for their sense of identity and direction. Threes read other people in order to determine how they should look and act in order to appear successful and then (consciously and unconsciously) create their persona to match that image; this helps Threes gain the approval and admiration of others and feel good about themselves. Nines use others as their reference and accede to their wishes as a way of not having to pay attention to what they themselves want, to minimize conflict, and to create harmony.

At times, both Threes and Nines can feel inaccessible at a deeper human level. While they are friendly and interactive on the surface, Threes and Nines can feel uncertain about who they really are, and this confusion can impair deeper human contact with others. Threes focus so much attention on work and activities, identify so strongly with their image, and avoid discussing their deeper feelings; these qualities compromise human interaction at a deeper level. Similarly, Nines can forget who they are, be unclear about what they think, lose touch with what they really want, and instead merge with other people. Merging may feel good, but it is not the same thing as deep human interaction. Deep human contact requires the individuals involved to have a strong enough sense of a separate self to make contact with another.

There are also some key differences between Threes and Nines. The Threes primary focus is the accomplishment of tasks and goals, while the Nines is maintaining comfort and harmony. Threes are fast-paced, decisive, and forward moving; with their keen focus on goals and priorities, they are very work-oriented and can easily become workaholics. Nines move at a slower pace for example, their rate of speech, pace of work, and speed of walking and have a tendency to take their time before moving to action. They are also very hardworking, but they can have a harder time finishing tasks on time because they are prone to procrastination, can be plagued by indecision, or become distracted by less essential tasks. Nines may also forget what they were supposed to do, switch to a less important task, or take time off to relax from the pressure.

Threes will engage in conflict if necessary and even initiate it, particularly when it involves an obstacle to their forward momentum, and will more readily endure discomfort if it serves their progress toward their goal. Nines usually take great pains to avoid conflict; they like to stay comfortable and tend to avoid moving outside their comfort zone to accomplish tasks they view as disturbing their peace for example, a Nines expressing a strong opinion in public or confronting someone about something that was unkind or incorrect. Finally, Nines dislike being the center of attention although they do like being acknowledged while most Threes enjoy being in the spotlight, with many Threes actively seeking out situations in which they are center stage.



There are some clear similarities between Fours and Fives. Both styles tend to withdraw from others, but for different reasons and in different ways. Fives draw clear boundaries between themselves and others and do so consistently for example, making it clear through their comments and behavior how long they will meet with others, what topics are acceptable for discussion, and how much physical space or separation they desire. This enables Fives to move away from interpersonal contact particularly intense contact whenever they want to as a way to conserve their energy and internal resources; they fear that prolonged interaction with others will exhaust them, drain their energy, and/or invade their private space. Fours also need distance from others but they withdraw for different reasons: (1) to engage more deeply with their own internal experience, (2) to protect themselves when they feel hurt or angry, and (3) when they feel too close to someone and want to create some distance between themselves and the other person. Although Fours have much more access to their emotions than do Fives, both tend to intellectualize and engage in thinking and analysis as a way of understanding and avoiding painful feelings. In addition, both styles are introspective and self-referencing, which means they focus more on their own internal experience than on the experience of other people.

Significant differences also exist between Fours and Fives. Fours are one of the most emotional Enneagram styles, and they value deep, authentic relationships. They connect frequently to their own deep-level emotions and enjoy seeking out strong emotional connections with others; because they are sensitive to the feeling of abandonment and loss, Fours make a concerted effort to engage in deep, meaningful interactions. However, Fours can become anxious and ambivalent when connections become too close for their comfort level. Fives are among the least emotional Enneagram styles. They habitually detach from their feelings, sometimes choosing to feel them later, and enjoy being alone and having a great deal of private time. Fives keep most feelings to themselves, and they usually avoid deep connections with most other people because they feel more comfortable with limited and circumscribed emotional engagement.

When assessing a situation or task, Fives observe first, analyze their thoughts, and then communicate their perspectives from a detached, analytical, cerebral, and objective point of view. By contrast, Fours rely on their feelings and tend to see things from a more emotional, subjective, and symbolic perspective. Fives tend to be reserved and self-contained, value self-sufficiency, and are highly sensitive to being intruded on when involved in work or personal relationships; they can easily feel drained by the needs of others. Fours, by contrast, are more intense, dramatic, romantic or idealistic, and passionate in their relationships with others, and they are usually very sensitive and empathic when others express their needs. Fours experience longing for their own needs to be met and can become angry or despondent when this does not occur, feeling the lack of need fulfillment and pain acutely. Fives will minimize their needs and desires, detaching from the pain of unmet needs, and instead economize and conserve their resources as a way to cope with not having enough.



Fours and Sixes share some external behaviors. Both are intuitive and skilled at reading others; Fours intuit other peoples feelings and motivations as a way to be empathic and create deep connections, as well as to protect themselves from possible rejection, while Sixes try to assess other peoples intentions and motivations in order to determine whether these individuals are trustworthy in order to protect themselves from threats.

Fours and Sixes can both challenge authority figures as well as the established way of doing tasks and projects. Fours tend to non-conformists, partly because they have original ways of seeing things and partly because they dare to be different. Sixes can be rebellious and challenging because they think in contrarian ways and are cautious and wary of those they perceive as having power over them. Both styles can also be effective troubleshooters; Fours intuitively feel whats missing in a specific situation, and Sixes automatically think about what might go wrong so that they can prepare for it in advance.

Both Fours and Sixes can engage in self-deprecating behavior, having negative feelings about themselves and asking,What did I do wrong here?Both can feel stuck in their lives and pursuits and have difficulty moving forward. Some Fours can appear quite confident, but underneath this exterior is the chronic feeling that they are not good enough, defective, or flawed in some way. They tend to be overly self-critical and often believe that their life circumstances are hopeless or beyond their control to change. Sixes tend to doubt and question themselves in most situations, although this is more true of phobic Sixes and less obvious for counterphobic Sixes. Sixes can become despondent as a result of their tendency to overanalyze issues and events, paralyzed or immobilized when they dont know what to do, doubtful of their own abilities, and fearful of success and the subsequent visibility and attacks that may ensue as a result.

There are also clear distinctions between Fours and Sixes. Fours are sensitive to how they are being perceived by others primarily as a hedge against personal rejection and focus on creating as image of being unique, different, and original; Fours want to stand out and be viewed as special and to feel loved and appreciated for who they are. Sixes, by contrast, focus more on feeling safe in a dangerous world and are not as chronically concerned with personal rejection or creating a particular image. They identify more with the underdog and appear more like the everyman/everywoman archetype.

Fours live primarily from and in the emotional arena, while Sixes live in their heads and are predominantly mental and analytical. Although they can be highly analytical, most Fours use their mental agility to process and understand their feelings. Many Sixes have strong emotional reactions, but they primarily rely on their mental functioning to create scenarios that explain and reinforce their emotional responses. In addi

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