elisia magazine

Faith. It’s, like, the most ridiculous concept in the universe.

Faith is the cool kid that seems to make stuff happen just because he’s so stinkin’ cool. He’s not the football jock or the handsome model-looking theater kid. Faith … faith is the Fonz. He’s an anomaly. A rebel. The guy you wish you were, but you don’t know how to be. He just … is. Faith is the element that sets Christians apart. It’s the source that causes us to make the decisions that people just don’t understand. Faith, if applied correctly, makes the unfashionable choice pretty much every time.

Faith follows the intrinsic, gut instinct that directs you toward greatness. It caus-es you “do something,” not just because “the Bible told you so,” but because of an urge in the depths of your gut planted by an invisible God that you trust, just be-cause you do.

Being a Christian will never be at the forefront of fashion, music, arts or sports industries. But if those who are daring enough would just do what they believe, I guarantee the heads would turn.

Do the thing that will make people take notice, even if it doesn’t make sense. Be the light because it does attract the dark. Take the jump because He will catch you. Choose to follow and believe He will lead. We were meant to set the trend, not fol-low it. Now. Go.

Feleceia

FONZFaith is the

elisiamagazine.com| ELISIA 3

ELISIA | elisiamagazine.com4

GUEST FEATUREFOOD & RECIPIESDEAR BROTHERSCINDERELLA POUND CAKE 126

PT.2 (CONCLUSION)DON’T IGNORE THE SIGNS

THE GUILTLESS MOMLIFE COACHING 148

SHY SPEAKSHE CAN HANDLE ITRENAISSANCE WOMANDR. G SPEAKS 1610

LETTERS FROM A MARRIED MAN

THE INTERVIEW PROCESS34

TO JESUS GIRLFROM ODD GIRL OUT22

UNFASHIONALBLEFASHION & STYLE24

PLEASE STAND UPALL YOU HATERS 28

BUSINESS & PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

ITS NOT THAT COMPLICATED30

IN THE DARKNESSLIGHT32

BROTHERSDEARpg.12


What is Elisia?Being a Christian woman doesn't have to be a cliche. It is quite possible that a woman doesn't have to wear ankle length skirts and black stockings to be devoted to a life that reflects the cross. Today's modern Christian women are nothing less than the woman reflected in the notorious Proverbs 31. We are mothers, business women, politicians and homemakers. We are artists, entrepreneurs, writers, inspirers. We love the Lord. We value life and relationships. We are women who are intentional about loving God, pursuing purpose, and finding joy in the lives we've been gifted.

Elisia Magazine is a modern bi-monthly digital lifestyle publication for the far from cliche Christian woman of today. From music to politics, fashion to social injustices, food to entrepreneurship, Elisia readers will experience life from the voice of women who love God, love people, and have devoted their lives to sharing their stories.

ElisiaMagazine.com

Cinderella Pound CakeFall also makes me think of my grandmother and my mom and

aunts in the house starting the canning process. I love those

memories and wanted to start a legacy like that for my boys.

So, about 15 years ago, my sons and I made our first batch of

bread and butter pickles, apple butter and chow chow. Yes, hon-

ey, chow chow! I know some of you are probably saying, “What

is that?” Chow chow is a relish made using cabbage. It’s a great

compliment to a southern meal, and even tastes good with cab-

bage itself.

But, my favorite thing to do on a fall morning is wake up early,

make myself a cup of hot chai tea and have a piece of my mom’s

signature Cinderella Pound Cake. My mom still lives in Waco, and

I have her make me a couple of pound cakes each time I go home

to visit. I then slice and freeze the cakes, pulling out a slice or two

when I want one. This issue, I asked my mom to share her Cin-

derella Pound Cake recipe with each of you. I hope you and your

families love it as much as I do.

I can hardly believe it’s fall! Fall is my second favorite time of the

year next to spring. I really enjoy the leaves falling and changing

colors, and I love to decorate my house with fall wreaths and ta-

ble décor.

I still have fond memories of my childhood growing up in Waco,

Texas. I lived with both of my parents and both sets of grandpar-

ents were an active part of my life as well. One set actually lived

next door to us, and my uncle (my father’s older brother) and his

family lived on the other side.

Back in the day my family grew our own fruits and vegetables

and raised our own livestock. It was nothing to see chickens,

cows and pigs on a daily basis. I even remember the times we

had to slaughter a pig. Believe it or not, it was actually fun to

watch the slaughtering process. We knew some good eating was

coming soon. I loved walking in our smokehouse and seeing the

fresh bacon and sausage as it was being cured.

momma’s

|| BY YOLONDA TUCK



WHAT YOU’LL NEED:FOR CAKE:

2 c. sugar

4 eggs

1 c. salad oil

2 c. flour

2 tsp. baking soda

2 tsp. cinnamon

1/8 tsp. salt

1 c. canned pumpkin

FOR GLAZE:

1 Cup of powdered sugar

½ a stick of margarine

1 tsp. Vanilla flavoring

ST

EP

1:S

TEP

2:

STE

P 3

:

Beat sugar and eggs until light and well blended. Add oil, con-tinuing to beat. Combine dry ingredients and blend into egg mixture. Add pumpkin and mix well. Pour into well-greased 9 inch tube pan.

Bake at 350 degrees for 55 minutes or until cake tests done. Let cake stand in pan 10 minutes then turn out on rack to cool.

In a small bowl pour powdered sugar and add vanilla flavor-ing to powdered sugar. Melt margarine and add to mixture. Mix well and drizzle on cooled cake.


DON’T IGNORE

THE SIGNS|| RACHEL PROCTOR


Not too long ago I was driving around downtown Dallas. I am real-

ly not that fond of driving downtown because I am di-rectionally challenged and there are a plethora of one-way streets and construction detours that can make even the sharpest person lose their way. (If you have ever driven around downtown Dallas, TX, you know exactly what I mean.)

Well, that particular day I was headed down a one-way street. No sooner than I could turn my signal light off, did I see another car coming to-ward me from the opposite direction! Needless to say, this was a problem. A HUGE problem. This car was going the wrong way and it was headed straight for me!

I tried to maintain control of my vehicle as I kept my eyes on the car and looked for a way to avoid a collision. I con-tinued forward, but eventu-ally I began to hear car horns and screams all around me. After a few moments it be-came obvious that the noise that I was hearing was on-lookers trying to get my at-

tention. Some people were flail-ing their arms wildly. Some were jumping up and down to get me to focus. All those bystanders were trying to get me to see that I was wrong. I was the one going in the wrong direction! I had been thinking all the while that every-body else was the problem when really the problem was me.

You see, driving in the wrong di-rection not only put me in dan-ger, but I could have caused seri-ous danger to others. A couple of things could have happened that day:

1. The onlookers could have ignored it and said, “Hey, that’s her business! Whatever hap-pens to her just happens.” They could have let me potentially inflict serious harm to myself as well as others.

2. They onlookers could have done what they did which was try their best to get my at-tention so that I could reverse my direction.

Often we can’t see when we are headed in the wrong direction. It takes the people around us to hold us accountable and confront us when we are on the verge of making bad decisions or doing things that won’t bring glory to

God. The hardest thing to hear may very well be the thing we need hear the most. That one piece of advice could save your life, figuratively, or, as was the case for me the other day, liter-ally. The corrections may sting a little bit in the beginning. Crit-icism never feels good at first. But eventually, you’ll learn to live through it, and you will be better when you come out on the other side.

DON’T IGNORE

THE SIGNS

[QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION:

Have you been ignor-ing some signals that may be pointing you to an area in your life you need to change? How can you take that con-frontation and turn it into positive growth?


|| Kristen “Dr. G.” Guillory, PhD

So, take a look at this pic. Ok, yes, notice

the fabulous shoes. YEESS! And then look

at the pic as a whole. What do you see?

Some would say a strong woman, others might

say a confident woman, another might say, “She

means business,” and others would say “Are you

in downtown Dallas?”

Well, one of my grad students noticed my

posture and the positioning of my feet. She

said, “I bet that wasn’t a comfortable position.”

And she was correct. She said, “I bet if I were

to slightly push you, you would fall.” She was

correct. Positioning my feet in that way looked

cute, but it wasn’t so comfy. As we continued

to talk, I realized that this picture represents

so many women I know. How? Well, from

the waist up we present ourselves as strong,

confident women who mean business and love

Jesus. But, underneath it all, we are not always

Handle it

he can

“ “elisiamagazine.com| ELISIA 11

so comfortable. We try to do everything. We

deal with insecurities. We’re hard on ourselves.

We are tired and fragile, and if you just slightly

pushed us we would fall.

At times, we don’t want others to know that we

struggle, but we all do. And it seems not to be in

style to actually admit that we have struggles,

or we’re confused, or we’re angry, or we’re

hurt. Somewhere along the line someone, said

that Christians shouldn’t feel these feelings.

But, many people in the Bible brought their

frustrations to the Lord.

Moses was confused about the Lord using Him. Jesus asked the Lord why He had forsaken Him. Many others questioned God and felt frustrated. Those feelings didn’t mean they loved God any less. They were just voicing how they felt to the Only One who can heal us.

It seems that many of us don’t bring our whole

selves to the Lord. Well, the thing is, He already

knows what we are thinking, so why try to hold

things in? We should talk to Him as if He is our

friend. The Word says, “Blessed are those who

mourn, for they will be comforted.” And God

himself says that His power is made perfect

in our weakness. But, oh no! We don’t want

to admit that we are weak. Think about this

though. How amazing is it that if and when we

fall, those of us who trust and love God know

where we are landing? On the Solid Rock.

I’ve had many conversations with women

(political figures, Olympians, national beauty

queens, students, executives, professors,

authors, models, teachers, actresses, mothers,

business owners) and we’ve all admitted

people would be shocked to find out that doubt,

fear and not thinking we are not enough have

paralyzed us. No more! Yes, I have struggles.

Yes, I am strong, confident, and I mean business.

But, it’s not by my strength alone that I walk in

those unbelievably gorgeous shoes every day.

It’s by the Lord’s strength. In fact, Joyce Meyer

says that when our strength is in God, even

the difficult places in life can be turned into

blessings. That’s why we need to constantly

keep our minds and hearts focused on Him and

not on our circumstances.

I am trying to be more transparent with the

Lord and admit all of my feelings while thanking

Him for countless blessings. I encourage you

to take EVERYTHING to the Lord. HE CAN

HANDLE IT. Be sure to ask those people in your

life who you think always look so strong how

they are and how you can pray for them. And to

my “strong” women, give people permission to

check on you, please check on each other AND

TAKE IT TO THE KING. visit--kristenguillory.

com Twitter and Instagram @drgspeaks

Handle it


Dear brothersOver the last couple of months I’ve had

some pretty convicting and eye open-

ing conversations. The majority of

them have been with female friends

who have shared story after story of men “in the

Church” behaving anything but godly. Some of

my friends were visibly upset as they shared their

experiences. Inappropriate texts from single (and

married) men, crude sexual humor, the list goes on.

And as they talked and shared their hearts, I had

one overarching thought. ... I’m sorry.

I’m sorry because the safest place for a woman of God should be among her brothers in Christ. But, we have failed you. We have taken your trust and the access you gave us as friends and used it for our own selfish gains. For that, we owe you an apology. And to any man that may be reading this article, I implore you to heed the following words.

If God has allowed you to have female friends and associates, steward them well. Use the access and influence you have in their lives to build them up, not to take advantage of them physically. There

||SEAN C. JOHNSON


are a number of women who genuinely want a man that is sold out for Christ. But, while trusting God to bring that someone their way, they become disillusioned. Disillusioned because professing Christian men have blurred the lines between what a Godly and Un-Godly man look like.

I blame this “Blurred Line” effect on two things: immaturity and misuse of knowledge. There’s a saying that goes, “Knowledge is power.” But, when you couple that knowledge with immaturity, it’s a recipe for disaster. Immature Christians have taken the knowledge of God’s grace and used it as a “free pass” to indulge in sin, instead of using it as an opportunity to repent and grow. What that creates is a number of professing Christians who

no longer feel a need to combat sexual desires but instead give in to them and ask for forgiveness later. This prevailing attitude among our Chris-tian brothers has left a trail of broken hearts and sisters who are losing hope fast.

So, to my brothers (married and single), we owe it to our sisters to not only guard their hearts but make personal Holiness a priority in our walk and our interactions. It won’t always be easy, but it is what’s required of us as Godly men.

||Sean C. Johnson is a neo soul gospel artist. If you’d

like to hear the talented vocals that accompany this

thoughtful voice, please visit www.seancjohnson.

com for downloads, CDs, and tour dates.


the guiltlessMOMpt.2

|| DR. LAWANA GLADNEY

(CONCLUSION)

Last month we discussed how the emo-tion of guilt can weigh you down. It’s an invisible weight that tugs at your heart. Are you ready to stamp out that unhealthy guilt? You have to be willing

to give up the tumultuous stomach disorders, headaches, and insomnia. You have to be committed to becoming free from guilt. As you read the following steps, know that releasing the guilt it is a process and it won’t happen overnight. Make it your goal to stick with the process. So, how do you lose this weight?

Step One || Excuse yourself. You are only

human, not Super Woman. While we are re-sponsible for our children, we are just human. There are only so many hours in the day, and we only have so much energy to accomplish all our daily tasks before we run out of steam. We are not super heroes who have been given extraor-dinary powers to conquer the world. Just focus on what you can do.

Step Two || Don’t blame yourself for the

bad decisions that your kids make. We nurture, teach, instill, yell, fuss, cry, beg, and use every teachable moment, and still, our kids may not make the right decision. Sure they know right from wrong, but it doesn’t always mean they will choose right. I can remember the day I got


a call from the school to say that one of my children had cursed toward the teacher. What? Not my child! I don’t even curse! Where did that come from? I had this need to prove to the teacher and all involved that we raise our kids better than that. That was my wake up call. Our kids wills make their own choic-es just like we did. And our choices weren’t always right, were they? I would venture to say there are things you did growing up that your mother still doesn’t know you did. (I’m not sharing.) Never, say never, because you don’t know what your darling kids will do. It’s not because you are not a good parent. It’s because they are people and make their own choices. Be there to pick them up when they fall and remember: it’s not your fault.

Step Three || This too

will pass. To everything, there is a season. As mothers, we know that our kids are only babies for a short time and then they go through be-ing toddlers, pre-schoolers,

elementary aged, pre-teens, teenagers, young adult, adult. Each season of their lives moves so quickly, but some-times when you are in the midst of the season, it seems as it may last forever. For me, the season that seemed like it was going to last forever was diapers, pull ups and potty training. I had four children right in a row, and I was convinced that there would never be a day that I wasn’t involved with someone else’s bathroom needs. Now, it seems like it was a long time ago.

As mothers we also expe-rience seasons in our own lives. In some seasons, you may feel that you have to sacrifice certain things or even yourself for your chil-dren. But it’s only for a time. Make a conscious effort to enjoy and find contentment with each season of your life. Enjoy the good and endure the unpleasant knowing that this too will pass.

Step Four || Let it go.

Whatever you, your kids, your spouse, your parents,

caregivers, friends, did or didn’t do that you thought they should have, let it go. The more baggage that you hang on to, the more you will be weighed down with junk. Each night when you lay your head on the pillow, be able to say to yourself that you have done your best for the day. Tomorrow the counter resets at zero.

Now, repeat the pledge below:

I pledge to become guilt free, to have less stress, and to take care of me so that I can be the best mom I can be.

|| As the emotional wellness expert and

mother of four, Dr. Gladney has spoken

to thousands across the country. She is a

nationally known speaker, trainer, and coach.

She is also author of 3 books including her

latest book entitled, You Can’t Be Sick, I Have

to Work: 50 Tips to Emotional Wellness for

Working Mothers. For more information,

visit her website at www.emotionalwell-

nessinc.com

“ “


RenaissanceWOMAN

Today you are on Shy Speaks’ #GUESTList. Get ready to be enlightened. #Bobblehead

<


< stitute for Texas) was founded in 1961 to help functionally illiterate adults read and write English. Since 1961, over 45,000 low-lit-erate adults have learned to read at Lift.

What was behind working with Lift on that project?

There are so many great causes to fight for in the world. There’s the fight for cancer, there’s the fight for Lupus. …

As she speaks, all I can think of is this summer’s #ALSIceBucketCh-allenge craze. Did we really raise awareness about a potentially life-altering, neurodegenerative disease, or did we just get wet on camera?

… and I think that all of those things are noble. But I think that social issues sometimes kinda get pushed to the back burner. The thing that got me working with Lift is that literacy is a social issue. It’s also something that is near and dear to my heart. I am a vo-cal artist. Be it speaking, singing, acting any of that, everything is vocal in its expression, and the basis of it is literacy. I wouldn’t be able to do any of that without it. So, I wanted to partner with something that meant a lot to me personally. People that have an issue with [literacy] don’t have the ability to express themselves in that way.

And, of course. [Lift is] Dallas based, but they service the entire state of Texas. I thought that was a great thing …. I believe that charity starts at home.

I really could not agree more ….

So, tell us who you are, Shy.

I am a hip hop and spoken word artist. I have a slogan that says that I treat the words “artist,” “advocate,” and “activist” all like they’re one and the same. I try to add a brand of social responsibil-ity and activism to my artistry. It’s all positive and it’s faith based.

That’s awesome. I don’t know a lot of people that think about what they do in that way. Speaking of activ-ism, I know one of your new singles is “Literary Now.” And you’re working with Lift, is that right?

Yes, Lift Texas.

[from website] Lift (Literacy In-

[Shy laughs understandingly at my en-thusiasm] I wanted to make sure that if I’m advocating for something, if I’m raising awareness for something, I can invite people. That’s the tile of my EP, “Invited.” I can invite people to be aware of this social issue that actu-ally turns into an entire other issue. People who can’t read or write have low employment rates and have high crime rates. It’s not just a social issue. It’s a crime issue that breaks down the family structure. I just thought it was a small issue that affects so many big things.

Shy’s passion for literacy combined with her art remind me of Aloe Blacc’s music video for his single, “Love is the Answer.” The video depicts two broth-ers who take very different paths, one of whom falls victim to the school to prison pipeline.

That’s a really good point. Why are so many [illiterate] people ending up in prison instead of …

In college.

Riiiiiight! I mean, do you think that some people or neighbor-hoods are intentionally kept illit-erate so that they can’t become successful? Why do you think some people have more access to literacy than others do?

I love conspiracy theory questions! [Laughter] In my assessment, liter-acy is easily accessible in just about every neighborhood IF one was to seek it out. What I mean is there is a public library available to everyone. Now, we all know that the education presented in some neighborhoods is below standard and could be crip-pling to a learner’s literary skills. Do I believe that it WAS by design [in the past]? Yes! History proves that. Do I believe that [STILL] IS by design? No!

I sat down with Shy Speaks on the busi-est evening I’ve ever seen at The Wild

Detectives, a bookstore, coffee shop and bar in the Dallas Bishop Arts district. A book sign-ing on the same night and time that we had scheduled our interview meant that the only space left to chat was outside … with the mos-quitoes. I hoped that she would be forgiving of my planning skills.

Even if [keeping certain neighborhoods illiter-ate] was the current agenda of some entity, literacy is too readily available at free public libraries and at organizations like LIFT, the non-profit organization that I am partnered with. [Literacy] now lies in the hands of the individual. People have to ask themselves, “Do I want to improve my literacy skills?” If so, it’s available! You may have to seek it out, but it’s available. That’s why I am an advocate for raising awareness about literary entities that already exist and are committed to bending the trend of low literacy in adults!

On another note, one might not think they need to SEEK out literacy if they are being PRESENTED with it for 12 years of grade school.

This woman. She’s a genius.

Now, as far as your outreach, are you trying to redefine something with your art?

I always wanted to be the kind of artist that could say I didn’t just do music. I wanted to contribute something to the arts. And one of the things I can contribute is my uniqueness. I’m a poet and I’m also an emcee. Basically I’m a lyricist. Coupling those two together with singing, the world really hasn’t seen all three [of those skills] together since Lauryn Hill.

Urban music was in a different place when Lauryn Hill was out. … It was more prime for positive hip hop. Hip hop has taken such a swing towards the negative that it’s almost like there isn’t the right climate for [positive music], but that’s where it’s actually most necessary. So, I just want to contribute that to the art. I want to be able to be somebody that can relate to others. Somebody who is able to share her faith-based perspective. Somebody who is able to embody several different gifts - who can walk in the world of singers, who can walk in the world of poets,

who can walk in the world of hip hop artists - and just be a [positive] influence.

Some people want to be a global name. I want to have a global impact. However much influence I can have to raise [other people’s] level of consciousness, then that’s what I want. I don’t want it for how many people know me or for the platform. I want it for the impact.

So, based on that, what projects are you working on now to build that con-sciousness?

Well, again, I just released this Invited EP. And there’s so much content for me to push different concepts. For now, [I’m focused on] the Literary Now campaign. But the next lev-el of consciousness I want to raise is with the track “P vs. R.” I’m discussing relationships and how men relate to women and how we have this tug of war.

No waaaaay!!!

At this point in the interview, I gush about all things #LifeChat and how what Elisia Mag-azine is doing is exactly what she’s talking about. I ask Shy Speaks to participate in our November event. She nearly drops her tea to say “yes.” And now all you Dallas/Ft. Worth natives are going to have to show up for our next #LifeChat to really see what we’re talking about. You’re welcome.

Now, can you break that down a little bit more? What is “P vs. R”?

“P vs. R” stands for “pursue” vs. “retreating.” You can’t do both. We approach relationships with this … surface level attitude. “Okay, I want to be together. Now I don’t. Now, let’s just be friends and work on our friendship.” That’s too much!

[I cosign shamelessly] It IS too much. …

So, I want to do a campaign next on P vs. R [on this idea this idea of relationships.] And


then, of course, there’s stuff I want to do in the future. I have a song in my mind that’s anthemic. It’ll be one of those conscious songs, but it will be a lot more commercial. It’ll be conscious music over a trap beat.

So, let me ask you about that. You put “conscious music over trap beats.” Within the faith community, do you ever get questions like, “Why are you using secular sounding music? Is that really building up the kingdom in the way that you want it to?”

Everything that I do is not meant necessarily meant to equip the church. [I’m surprised and a little shocked by this bold honesty. Shy continues.] If I do a poem called “P vs. R” that’s just talking about relationships, that’s not necessarily building up the body of Christ, but it’s gonna raise people’s con-sciousness. It’s gonna make people take individual responsibility. I may make a song that’s not necessarily about my faith. But anything that I create is going to respect the faith with which I walk, and it’s also gonna come from that. That’s the place from which I live, right? […] I think we are not building up the kingdom if we become [people that non-Christians can’t relate to]. The faith based community has to respect the fact that I don’t always do things exclusively for the faith based community.

In that regard, do you see yourself as a pioneer or a way-maker for people coming behind you that want to “say something” with their music?

I do. Especially for young ladies, I want to curb the ears of the listeners so that they can stop desiring stuff where people aren’t talking about nothing. For other lyricists and emcees, I want them to understand that you don’t just have to follow the trends of hip hop. You can listen to your inner voice. You can follow your morals […] and there is a culture of people and a market available that

will listen to that.

Finally, if you don’t mind my mention-ing it, your press kit states that you were a “crack baby,” but looking at you now – a college educated finance professional – Shy admits that people are often surprised by how organized and math-ematical she is in light of her artistry – and an award winning emcee – she also recently won the Female Rap Minister cat-egory at the 2014 Kingdom Choice Awards – no one would be the wiser. Did that childhood shape your desire to have a “global impact”?

Absolutely! Being born to a mother who was on drugs and a father that I’ve never met was the fuel that I used to drive on in a positive direction. I already knew that the odds were stacked against me! It was my desire to defy the odds. I live every day to defy odds, break stereotypes, push limits, and influence oth-ers to understand that they too can do so!

Well, there you have it, folks! No excus-es! And, Shy, where can we find the Invited EP?

The Invited EP is available everywhere where music is sold digitally: Amazon, Google Play, iTunes, Spotify, Rhapsody. But for some people who just have to have that physical copy, I want them to come to my website, www.shyspeaks.com, and there you can buy the physical copies. I autograph them, and there’s other cool merchandise there on the website.

What an experience. Clearly Shy Speaks is the type of woman that will make you think, make you smile and make you nod along to her voice whether she’s backed by a dope beat or just talkin’ off the cuff. Huge, huge thanks to her for a great interview. I was truly inspired.

~Arian Augustus



ELISIA AROUND TOWN

||AROUND TOWN PHOTO CREDITS

A. ARIAN’S SELFIES FROM THE CICI CUBIT FASHION SHOW |AUG 30, 2014 - DALLAS, TX

B. FELECEIA AND KELLI AT THE ROD MINISTRIES 15TH ANNIVERSARY GALA |

SEPT 18, 2014- DALLAS, TX

C. TRACY AT THE HELPING YOUNG WOMEN SUCCEED GLOBALLY SUMMIT,

PRESENTED BY JOURNEY OF A YOUNG LADY, INC. |SEPT 27, 2014 - DALLAS, TX

D. RACHEL, FELECEIA, AND ARIAN CELEBRATING RACHEL BEING RECOGNIZED

AT ROLLING OUT MAGAZINE’S DALLAS FEMALE SUCCESS FACTOR TOP 25

#FSF| DALLAS - SEPT 9, 2014

E. NIKKI HURD’S ARRAYED DEZIGNS FEATURE AT THE 2014

WOMAN THOU ART LOOSED CONFERENCE | OCT 2-4 - ATLANTA, GA

F. FASHION EDITOR NIKKI HURD AS A HOST WITH DFW

RADIO HOSTS CEDRIC BAILEY AND

CARMINA BARNETT

b.

c.

e.

d.

a.

f.

c.

d.


from odd girl out Jesus girlto

|| Cheryl Skinner Rischer

Recently, I found myself questioning

whether or not I was unknowingly

exhibiting judgmental behavior toward

my loved ones. Someone in my circle of

friends recently celebrated a birthday.

Months prior to their actual birthdate,

there was conversation about throwing

this individual a party. I always offered

suggestions when asked, but due to

some other overwhelming commitments

on my part, I did not engage in any spe-

cific party planning. I was certain that

I would find out all the details when I

received the official invitation.

Initially, I didn’t get an invitation to the

party, but that didn’t raise any red flags.

I assumed that due to the nature of our

relationship, a verbal invite would suf-

fice. Imagine my surprise when I never

received even a verbal invitation and I

later discovered that a party did indeed

take place. Without me. (I tell you, social

media is not your friend when you have

untold secrets.)

I’ve always been a Christian. And while I grew up in the church, I’ve never felt overly religious. I have well-defined boundaries and tend to avoid certain

behaviors and activities based on those boundaries. But, I’ve never considered myself to be too “churchy.” I’ve never been one to judge others for what they choose to do.

Or so I thought.


I must say, I began to feel “some

kind of way.” First came anger,

followed by sadness and finally

disappointment. Then, I started

to reflect and question myself.

What was it about me that would

make someone who I was rather

close to feel like they couldn’t

invite me to their celebration?

What could I have said or done

that made them feel that they

couldn’t celebrate their big day

with me in attendance?

In my attempt to gain some

understanding, I spoke with a

few other people and expressed

my confusion. The comments

ranged from, “You know how

they are,” to “You wouldn’t have

enjoyed it anyway since you don’t

really drink.” Apparently, my

self-imposed boundaries made

others uncomfortable enough to

put me on the Do Not Invite list.

After I thought about it, I realized

it wasn’t the first time. When I

was in high school, I was one of

the few people among my group

of friends who did not drink. I

was always the odd girl out.

Then, in college, I attended

Baylor University, a school

known for its strict, southern

Baptist ways. Baylor was not

my first choice. In fact, I had

chosen to attend a university

that had quite a reputation

for good times. As a new

high school graduate and

a girl eager to break away

from my so-called, “prudish”

past, good times were on the

top of my list. Fortunately,

God knew what I needed

better than I did.

At Baylor, I was finally in a

place where no one would

stop and stare if I paused to

pray before eating a meal. No

one gave a second thought

to my wearing slacks and

blouses instead of mini-

skirts and high heels. No one

looked at me sideways if I

asked for a soda instead of

a beer. I finally had a place

where I felt like I belonged.

I know now that the times

where I was left out probably

weren’t because of anything

I’ve said or done, but main-

ly because of who I am as a

Christian. While I am truly

saddened that who I am pos-

sibly makes others uncom-

fortable, I make it a point to

love people wherever they

are. My self-imposed bound-

aries are based on my Chris-

tian beliefs, my upbringing

and my life’s experiences.

And again, to my knowledge,

I’ve never been one to judge.

Not being invited to the

party reminded me of what

it feels like to be the odd girl

out. But, now that I am years

beyond that experience, I’m

okay being a Jesus girl. After

all, being Christian means

that I will often be called to

be “set apart.”

So, that’s what I am.

un

fash

ionable

|| Nikki Hurd

doesn’t mean being a part of the frumpy fashion crew. Not on my watch! I’m a church girl, but I don’t always take the traditional approach when it comes to how I dress.

It’s OK to SLAY when it comes to wearing “Christian” fashion. Get it? Wear what you wanna wear is what I’m saying! As long as it doesn’t compromise your self-worth or what you stand for, do you.

For instance, take the outfit in the picture. I bet you probably thought this was a skirt. Nope. It’s a full, sleeveless dress. I was going to a local gospel concert and I felt too conser-

Being a Christian is who I am. It just is. But how does being

a Christian translate to fash-ion? Long skirts? No make-up? Oversized blouses? For me, it looks like ... me.

Listen. I’ve talked before about these boxes that other people like to throw us in. However, I wholeheartedly feel that being a Christian


vative with just the dress alone. So, I added a baby tee, tied it in a knot in the back and went and gave GOD praise! I wasn’t overdressed or un-der-dressed, and, most of all, I wasn’t offensive.

For so long Christians have been told what a Christian should look like. I’ve learned that you just never know. It’s that whole “never judge a book by its cover” thing. Every Christian is differ-ent. Everyone’s style is different. So I say, why force yourself into a mold … when you can break it?

Dear Nikki, I have this short necklace I got from H&M. And it’s so cute - I mean, seriously fierce - but I’ve never worn it because of the length. I honestly don’t know what to do with it. Can you help me out? How do I wear it?

Sincerely,

A (New) Good Judy

Hello, and thanks for reading Elisia Magazine! What a gorg necklace. Here’s the great thing about short necklaces. Though it may seem like you absolutely can’t do a thing with ‘em, you actually have a few options. The key is having the proper collar or neckline on the shirt or dress you plan to wear it with.

Some ideas are peplum tops, shirts with Peter Pan collars, and even u-neck and jewel collars. Let’s touch on one look that’s currently trending and will be very helpful during the upcoming winter months. Pair the necklace with a button down and a cardigan and go be GREAT! Check out the picture!

Q.

A.

||stylethat


Recently, Adrian Peterson, a highly-re-vered NFL running back for the Minneso-ta Vikings, has come under much fire for disciplining his four-year old son. Since

then, many opinions have flooded social media and news outlets over the past several weeks regarding Peterson’s actions. Experts and even every day, self-proclaimed “Twitter Advisers” and “Facebook Counselors” have all chimed in with their views on parental rights and responsibilities and even of-fered personal insight as to how children should be disciplined.

Adrian Peterson has various character flaws that have been reopened, uncovered, and exposed due to this situation with his son. However, I want to focus not on him but on parenting and how we should demonstrate love for our children through discipline. Although, this message is primarily for “Bible-loving, going to heaven” folks who profess to govern their lives according to Biblical truths and principles, I firmly believe this is also “real talk” that will be helpful to all.

While there are instances where some parents

|| MEKEISHA STEELE

all you haters please raise your hands


leave children to their own devices with the absence of any genuine fear of consequences for bad behavior, the majority of us as parents use one of two methods. We either use a belt, “switch,” or the nearest object available to inflict some sort of “bodily harm,” or we use “timeouts,” restrictions (something withheld or taken away), or maybe even what has been affectionately coined as a “tongue lashing.” However, the Bible clearly defines discipline, how it should be done, and why it is essential in EVERYONE’S life. Here are some enlightening mandates:

“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” - Proverbs 13: 24

“For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” - Hebrews 12:11

“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” - He-brews 12: 5-6

“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.” - Proverbs 12:1

“Whoever abandons the right path will be severely disciplined; whoever hates correction will die.” Proverbs 15:10

These passages are straightforward. If you love your child, you will use a “rod” for correction, not to provoke them to wrath. (The Bible sternly warns parent not to incite children to rage. See

Ephesians 6:4.) On the other hand, those who hate their children do not use the “rod.” As par-ents, we follow this command because it is a re-flection of the love that the Lord has for us. Is this a sort of discipline abusive or child-injuring? No, absolutely not. When we discipline our children, it should never be confused with cold-hearted punishment. Alternatively, failing to embrace discipline means that one will instead embrace ignorance and, therefore, become “stupid.” Ac-cording to the Word, an undisciplined child will lead to shame and disgrace rather than produce wisdom which is a direct result of discipline. This desire for wisdom is why Christ disciplines those he loves. And, if we understand this principle and welcome this sort of interaction with Him, it will be reciprocated in the relationships with our children.

The argument that various forms of discipline are available to us in the 21st century is valid. However, many of those forms of discipline are not mentioned in the Bible. So, take a moment to determine if you are a person who has failed to incorporate the rod of correction in your parent-ing techniques. You don’t want to be an abuser, and you don’t want to be a “hater” either. Rather, as parents, we should long to raise up a child who is wise and who will live a long life.

In the end, I’m not here to defend or condemn Adrian Peterson’s actions. Clearly, the rest of the free world has taken on that task. However, I believe that it’s imperative that we acknowledge the Word of God and pay attention to what it says regarding matters of “everyday life.” After all, isn’t that its purpose?


into national dialogues, there are two elements that I now

believe people lost sight of:

1. Behind each headline are the people who are person-

ally affected.

2. As much we can talk about how we feel about these

issues, what does God demand of His people in our response?

I’ve come this conclusion: to truly respond in the way God intends, we run the risk of becoming a lone voice amongst those we should always be able to unite with – our fellow believers. Unfortunately, many who profess to be followers of Christ have begun to rely on their own understanding and desires of how society should work instead of allowing God to do His work. The result: condemnation of those

Treyvon Martin. Ray Rice. Chick-Fil-A. Michael

Brown. Hobby Lobby. These names and com-

panies have been in our 24-hour news cycle at

various times over the last year. The hot-button

issues associated with them have been topics of discussion

around water coolers and dinner tables in my world more

often than I can count at the moment. Unfortunately, most of

these conversations ended with a line drawn in the sand – ei-

ther you stand with the name du jour or you don’t. There was

no in between. As I think back to these debates, I’ve begun

to wonder if I and others truly had what was most important

in mind. While we turned tragic and highly politicized events

|| TRACY WILLIAMS

A CHRISTIAN’S RESPONSE TO THE HEADLINES

it’s not that complicated


whose choices don’t align with theirs, and a society that has lost sight of God’s ultimate commandment for those who believe in Him.

Regardless of what I stand for morally, politically, or civically, as a professed Christian, I will always hold fast to the fundamental principle of treating others with love and grace.

1. Love and grace wouldn’t vilify unarmed teenagers who were gunned down. It would pray for the family of the victim and the aggressor, and still want justice to be served.

||Insight – Read: Jeremiah 22:3

2. Love and grace wouldn’t blame the victim of domes-tic abuse because she married her abuser. It would pray the she receive the help she truly needs, pray for her and her abuser, and still want him held accountable for his actions.

||Insight – Read: Isaiah 1:17

3. Love and grace wouldn’t shove one belief in the face of others who don’t believe as you. It would reserve judg-ment and extend the love and truth of God to all mankind that they, too, may know Him.

||Insight – Read: Luke 6:37

4. Love and grace wouldn’t deny quality of life to oth-ers in the name of Christianity. It would seek the best for others so that they may see your fruit and be drawn unto Him.

||Insight – Read: 1 Corinthians 10:24; Galatians 5:22-23

Jesus sat at the well with the Samaritan woman; he dined at Zacchaeus’ house; he blessed the woman who came to Him and washed His feet. How have we gotten to the point where we place ourselves above Him and act out of hatred instead of love? How can those who

love Jesus want to deny justice and equal opportuni-ty for quality of life for those who don’t think or act exactly like them?

The credibility of true faith is being threatened be-cause of the few who have made their divisive voic-es heard. So, what can we do about it? We need to speak up and speak out. Even if it’s not the popular “Christian” mantra we hear others touting. We need to remind those around us that our faith is about love. We need to remember that all have sinned and fallen short of His glory. We need to remember that Jesus called us to fulfill His master plan and bring others to Christ. We need the true voice of Christianity to be heard over the discordant messages we hear today. I leave you with the following, and pray that the true foundation of our faith will once again be restored.

Cultivation and Empowerment Opportunity (CEO)|| “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus re-plied, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as your-self.’” (Matthew 22:36 NIV).


Light in the Darkness

||Le

crae

Ano

mal

y Al

bum

Cov

er

On September 9, 2014, Christian hip-hop artist Lecrae released his sev-enth studio project, Anomaly. The album did the unthinkable, debuting

at number one on the Billboard 200 and the Gospel Music chart, and selling over 88,000 copies in the first week. And if that wasn’t astonishing enough, he came in at number one on the iTunes Hip-Hop chart.

I remember meeting Lecrae back in college. He attended University of North Texas and I was at Texas Women’s University. I was the musi-cian for the gospel choir there, and I saw him at some of the functions that TWU and UNT would host together. He was quiet but packed a mean punch on the mic.


Light in the Darkness|| Cherish Robinson

You know that scripture “Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works?” Well, that is exactly what I remember about him. He had something to say and it wasn’t just about Jesus. He had real life experiences that you could relate to and that were built on a foundation of Jesus Christ. You could hear the pas-sion. You could hear the hurt. You could hear the happy. You were listening.

The funny thing about Chris-tian hip-hop is that up until then, I never enjoyed it. Most people don’t. Sometimes it gets too cheesy because artists are trying to be so “Jesus-street” that the sincerity goes right out the door. You get so caught up in the delivery that you end up missing the message entire-ly.

And, I mean, let’s face it. Je-sus is risen, but that doesn’t take away the fact that they killed him. Christianity is seen in media as a laughing stock. Sometimes I wonder if people

purposefully scrutinize tel-evangelists just to prove their point. Every few years or so, the Christian community is hit with some big scandal in the church, the non-Christian com-munity has a field day with the coverage, and because of one human’s flaw, Jesus somehow gets the blame. Meanwhile, Christians sometimes will miss the opportunity to be Christ-like during those trying times, giving the non-Christian com-munity the leeway to throw the “I knew it” glare. The very fabric of our living is because of Christ’s death, and yet we deny and disappoint Him more often than not.

“But Lecrae was different. Lecrae is different. How? How could he manage to drop a verse so crazy, it makes you want to worship AND bob your head to the beat? How could he sell re-cords and top charts when people are aware that he is a Christian rapper? “

A bout a year ago, I DVR’ed an interview of Lecrae on an episode of a popular music series. The hosts asked him a question about how it felt to win a Grammy as a Christian Hip-hop artist. Lecrae’s an-swer was brilliant. He said that when he thinks about Christi-anity, he thinks about it being a faith and not a genre of music. He said that when he does his music, he does Hip-Hop as a person who has a relationship with Jesus Christ.

And there it was folks. That was the difference.

We should all take a page out of Lecrae’s life book. To keep Christianity authentic, we need to recognize that it’s not about shouting to the world that we’re Christians with scrip-ture-covered t-shirts. It’s the light that shines within us that illuminates in what we do and where we go.

And by the way if you’re won-dering, the album is brilliant!


INTER VIEW||LETTERS FROM A MARRIED MAN

the

|| CHARLES BOWMAN

Most people think of the “inter-view process” of dating as asking simple questions such as your name, age, where you’re from,

birthdate, and even your short-term and long-term goals. The problem with these questions is that even after you have all the answers, you still don’t have a clear picture of who the other person is. That person can choose to tell you what they think to be true instead of the actual truth.

I have three daughters, and I tell my girls that the key to a good relationship is an effective interview process. Interviewing is not just about asking questions. It’s also about watching the young man and his interactions with his family and friends. Pay attention. See if there is any real dys-function in his family. How does he treat his mother? If a man does not respect his mother, for whatever reason, he will


INTER VIEWprocess

never truly have respect for you. What kind of man is his father? How does his father treat his mother? If a man grew up watching his father degrade his mother, he will think that is the only way to treat a woman, and he will give you the same disrespect without even knowing that he’s doing it. What you see in their behavior and what they’re saying need to match up. If not, you will fall in love with

ships. Again, no matter how nice and lov-ing the young man is, if he had dysfunction in his family during his formative years, your relationship is likely to continue that cycle.

After explaining this to my girls, they all laughed at me. My youngest daughter said, “So, do you think everyone is going to walk around like you and mom?” I looked at them with as serious a face as I could

whatever dream they sell you only to be disappointed down the line.

I have an uncle that has been in a dys-functional marriage for over 40 years. Recently he told me, “I should have known she would be like this after watching her mother.” Now, my aunt and uncle have adult children that didn’t interview prop-erly, and I have watched my nieces and nephews struggle through bad relation-

muster, and told them, “Only through the grace of God could anyone be as blessed as we are to find true, unselfish love, and we pray that all three of you will have what we have.” So, with the same love and care I give to my children, I encourage you to look at yourself before starting an “inter-view.” Do a self-check. Because just as you are interviewing and watching his every move, a good man will be doing the same to you.


ELISIA UPCOMING


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