ELIMINATING CHOPPY ELIMINATING CHOPPY SENTENCESSENTENCESThis is fun. It is an This is fun. It is an

exercise. It is for writing. exercise. It is for writing. It is important. This is a It is important. This is a

skill. You will use this. You skill. You will use this. You will us it often. You will will us it often. You will use it in school. You will use it in school. You will

use it in your personal life. use it in your personal life. You will use it in your work. You will use it in your work.

Doesn’t this sound better?Doesn’t this sound better?

This is a fun writing This is a fun writing exercise for an important exercise for an important skill that you will often use skill that you will often use in your school work, in your school work, personal writing, and personal writing, and future careers. future careers.

Sometimes we get lulled into Sometimes we get lulled into writing short, choppy writing short, choppy sentences. sentences.

When and where When and where appropriate, try to combine appropriate, try to combine sentences.sentences.

I was happy. The sun was I was happy. The sun was shining. It was the first day shining. It was the first day of summer vacation. of summer vacation.

Doesn’t this sound better?Doesn’t this sound better?

I was happy that sunny first I was happy that sunny first day of summer vacationday of summer vacation..

Andrew felt sick. His head Andrew felt sick. His head ached. His stomach hurt. He ached. His stomach hurt. He knew he was getting sick.knew he was getting sick.

How would YOU combine the How would YOU combine the sentences?sentences?

Andrew’s aching head and Andrew’s aching head and hurting stomach told him he hurting stomach told him he was getting sick.was getting sick.

It was noisy. Dogs were It was noisy. Dogs were barking. Radios blared. My barking. Radios blared. My ears hurt.ears hurt.

Sounds like my tower on a Sounds like my tower on a Saturday night. Saturday night.

The noise of barking dogs and The noise of barking dogs and blaring radios hurt my ears.blaring radios hurt my ears.

I love Colorado. I like the I love Colorado. I like the huge mountains. Colorado huge mountains. Colorado has sparkling streams.has sparkling streams.

Whhhhaaaaaaa???Whhhhaaaaaaa???

I love Colorado’s huge I love Colorado’s huge mountains and sparkling mountains and sparkling streams.streams.

It was dark. It was really It was dark. It was really dark. I heard a noise. It dark. I heard a noise. It was a strange sound. It was a strange sound. It scared me.scared me.

How would YOU rewrite this?How would YOU rewrite this?

Strange sounds in the Strange sounds in the darkness scared me.darkness scared me.

See what you can do with the See what you can do with the next example. next example.

Remember to avoid using too Remember to avoid using too many conjunctionsmany conjunctions

Try to make your writing flow.Try to make your writing flow.

Have fun!Have fun!

Dusk settled over the town. The dusk was Dusk settled over the town. The dusk was murky. The town was small. Clouds scudded across murky. The town was small. Clouds scudded across the sky. The clouds were thick. The clouds were low. the sky. The clouds were thick. The clouds were low. The river was swollen. Rain drenched the town. The The river was swollen. Rain drenched the town. The mayor peered through his window. The town was mayor peered through his window. The town was frightened. The mayor was anxious. The window was frightened. The mayor was anxious. The window was smudged. The mayor peered upriver.smudged. The mayor peered upriver.

The dam protected the town. The dam was The dam protected the town. The dam was earthen. The dam was weakened. It was weakened by earthen. The dam was weakened. It was weakened by the rain. A flood seemed imminent. The flood would the rain. A flood seemed imminent. The flood would be dangerous. The mayor donned his slicker and boots. be dangerous. The mayor donned his slicker and boots. The slicker was for rain. The boots were rubber. He The slicker was for rain. The boots were rubber. He plodded out to his truck. It was a pickup truck. He plodded out to his truck. It was a pickup truck. He wanted to look at the dam. The truck would get him wanted to look at the dam. The truck would get him closer to the dam. It would go to the dam. The dam closer to the dam. It would go to the dam. The dam was old.was old.