elaboration menuexit when your writing lacks details, your readers may not fully understand your...
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Elaboration
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When your writing lacks details, your readers may not fully understand your ideas.
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Elaboration
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When your writing lacks details, your readers may not fully understand your ideas.
What is missing from these statements?
I hurt myself.
Wolves use different howls in different situations.
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When your writing lacks details, your readers may not fully understand your ideas.
REVISED
Wolves use one howl to signal that they want to “talk,” another to warn of danger, and a third to greet each other on a hunt.
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Elaboration
I hurt myself.ORIGINAL
Notice how adding details makes these sentences clearer.
REVISED
I broke my wrist on Saturday when Antoine was teaching me to skateboard.
Wolves use different howls in different situations.ORIGINAL
Elaboration
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Elaboration is the process of adding details to your writing to provide information and to clarify your ideas.
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You can add details and explanations in a variety of ways. Click on the strategy you want to explore.
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Elaboration
• Sensory Details• Similes and Metaphors• Definitions• Examples• Analogies
• Facts and Statistics• Visuals• Reasons• Expert Testimony
Elaboration is the process of adding details to your writing to provide information and to clarify your ideas.
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Sensory Details
Elaboration
Sensory details are words and phrases that appeal to the five senses. They enable readers to experience something as you experienced it.
pine needlespopcorncoffeeSmell
chocolate puddingspicybitterTaste
sharp as a needleroughsilkyTouch
rush of a waterfallwhisperscreamSound
flock of geesetriangularblue-greenSight
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Sensory Details
Elaboration
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Sensory details are words and phrases that appeal to the five senses. They enable readers to experience something as you experienced it.
Smell
Taste
Touch
Sound
Sight
coffee
bitter
silky
scream
blue-green
popcorn
spicy
rough
whisper
triangular
pine needles
chocolate pudding
sharp as a needle
rush of a waterfall
flock of geese
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Sensory Details
Elaboration
Can you spot the sensory details in this paragraph?
sight
The picnic grounds were a swirl of color. Red, white, and blue banners hung on every available surface, and the spangled costumes of the baton twirlers sparkled in the sun. Sweet cotton candy felt gritty on my tongue, and the smell of grilled hot dogs spiced the air. Suddenly, a drum roll thundered out, and the band broke into the opening strains of “Dixie.”
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sound touch taste smell
Click to see examples of sight
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Sensory Details
Elaboration
The picnic grounds were a swirl of color. Red, white, and blue banners hung on every available surface, and the spangled costumes of the baton twirlers sparkled in the sun. Sweet cotton candy felt gritty on my tongue, and the smell of grilled hot dogs spiced the air. Suddenly, a drum roll thundered out, and the band broke into the opening strains of “Dixie.”
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Click to see examples of sound
Can you spot the sensory details in this paragraph?
sight sound touch taste smell
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Sensory Details
Elaboration
The picnic grounds were a swirl of color. Red, white, and blue banners hung on every available surface, and the spangled costumes of the baton twirlers sparkled in the sun. Sweet cotton candy felt gritty on my tongue, and the smell of grilled hot dogs spiced the air. Suddenly, a drum roll thundered out, and the band broke into the opening strains of “Dixie.”
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Click to see examples of touch
Can you spot the sensory details in this paragraph?
sight sound touch taste smell
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Sensory Details
Elaboration
The picnic grounds were a swirl of color. Red, white, and blue banners hung on every available surface, and the spangled costumes of the baton twirlers sparkled in the sun. Sweet cotton candy felt gritty on my tongue, and the smell of grilled hot dogs spiced the air. Suddenly, a drum roll thundered out, and the band broke into the opening strains of “Dixie.”
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Click to see examples of taste
Can you spot the sensory details in this paragraph?
sight sound touch taste smell
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Sensory Details
Elaboration
The picnic grounds were a swirl of color. Red, white, and blue banners hung on every available surface, and the spangled costumes of the baton twirlers sparkled in the sun. Sweet cotton candy felt gritty on my tongue, and the smell of grilled hot dogs spiced the air. Suddenly, a drum roll thundered out, and the band broke into the opening strains of “Dixie.”
PREVIOUS
Click to see examples of smell
Can you spot the sensory details in this paragraph?
sight sound touch taste smell
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Sensory Details
Elaboration
The picnic grounds were a swirl of color. Red, white, and blue banners hung on every available surface, and the spangled costumes of the baton twirlers sparkled in the sun. Sweet cotton candy felt gritty on my tongue, and the smell of grilled hot dogs spiced the air. Suddenly, a drum roll thundered out, and the band broke into the opening strains of “Dixie.”
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Can you spot the sensory details in this paragraph?
sight sound touch taste smell
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Similes and Metaphors
Elaboration
A simile compares two things using either like or as. The comparison extends the description, adds detail, provides explanations, or expresses meaning or emotion.
Click to see an example of a simile
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Elaboration
A simile compares two things using either like or as. The comparison extends the description, adds detail, provides explanations, or expresses meaning or emotion.
That night the moon was round and white as my Sunday hat.
—Lynn Joseph, “The Bamboo Beads”
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Similes and Metaphors
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Elaboration
A metaphor describes one thing in terms of another, without using like or as.
Click to see an example of a metaphor
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A simile compares two things using either like or as. The comparison extends the description, adds detail, provides explanations, or expresses meaning or emotion.
That night the moon was round and white as my Sunday hat.
—Lynn Joseph, “The Bamboo Beads”
Similes and Metaphors
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Elaboration
A metaphor describes one thing in terms of another, without using like or as.
We could look down on our car and follow the ribbon of road through the farm lands until it was lost in the trees.
—Lois Lowry, “Crow Call”
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A simile compares two things using either like or as. The comparison extends the description, adds detail, provides explanations, or expresses meaning or emotion.
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Similes and Metaphors
That night the moon was round and white as my Sunday hat.
—Lynn Joseph, “The Bamboo Beads”
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Elaboration
What are the simile and metaphor in this paragraph?
simile
The sun burned in the sky like a bare light bulb. Rolling waves of sand stretched in all directions. When I squinted my eyes into thin slits, I saw currents of heat turn into butterflies, then trees, then people. I was thirstier than I’d ever been in my life, and the plain water in the canteen that I held to my lips tasted cool and sweet and made me want to keep on drinking it forever.
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metaphor
Click to see the simile
Similes and Metaphors
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Elaboration
What are the simile and metaphor in this paragraph?
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Similes and Metaphors
simile metaphor
Click to see the metaphor
The sun burned in the sky like a bare light bulb. Rolling waves of sand stretched in all directions. When I squinted my eyes into thin slits, I saw currents of heat turn into butterflies, then trees, then people. I was thirstier than I’d ever been in my life, and the plain water in the canteen that I held to my lips tasted cool and sweet and made me want to keep on drinking it forever.
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Elaboration
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What are the simile and metaphor in this paragraph?
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Similes and Metaphors
simile metaphor
The sun burned in the sky like a bare light bulb. Rolling waves of sand stretched in all directions. When I squinted my eyes into thin slits, I saw currents of heat turn into butterflies, then trees, then people. I was thirstier than I’d ever been in my life, and the plain water in the canteen that I held to my lips tasted cool and sweet and made me want to keep on drinking it forever.
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The sun burned in the sky like a bare light bulb. Rolling waves of sand stretched in all directions. When I squinted my eyes into thin slits, I saw currents of heat turn into butterflies, then trees, then people. I was thirstier than I’d ever been in my life, and the plain water in the canteen that I held to my lips tasted cool and sweet and made me want to keep on drinking it forever.
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Elaboration
What are the simile and metaphor in this paragraph?
Similes and Metaphors
simile metaphor
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Notice that “rolling waves of sand” also creates a comparison but does not use like or as.
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Definitions
Elaboration
Always define any potentially unfamiliar words for your readers. The simplest way to define a word is to explain its meaning in context – that is, in the sentence in which you use it.
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Definitions
Elaboration
Always define any potentially unfamiliar words for your readers. The simplest way to define a word is to explain its meaning in context – that is, in the sentence in which you use it.
What words should be defined in this sentence?
Raking the lawn is a great source of raw material for compost and mulch.
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Click to see the words that need defining
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Definitions
Elaboration
Always define any potentially unfamiliar words for your readers. The simplest way to define a word is to explain its meaning in context – that is, in the sentence in which you use it.
What words should be defined in this sentence?
Raking the lawn is a great source of raw material for compost and mulch.
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Elaboration
Always define any potentially unfamiliar words for your readers. The simplest way to define a word is to explain its meaning in context – that is, in the sentence in which you use it.
Raking the lawn is a great source of raw material for compost and mulch.
ORIGINAL
Raking the lawn is a great source of raw material for compost—decomposed organic matter such as leaves, grass clippings, and vegetable scraps—and mulch, or coarse particles of leaves, woodchips, and hay.
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Definitions
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Elaboration
Where would definitions help clarify this description?
To turn plain rice into a feast, add condiments, especially chutney.
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Definitions
Click to see the words that need defining
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Elaboration
Where would definitions help clarify this description?
To turn plain rice into a feast, add condiments, especially chutney.
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Definitions
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Elaboration
To turn plain rice into a feast, add condiments, sauces and relishes for flavoring, especially chutney—a thick sauce of fruit, vinegar, sugar, and spices.
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Definitions
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Examples
Elaboration
An example is a sample of something used to show what the whole is like.
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Examples
Elaboration
An example is a sample of something used to show what the whole is like.
What are the examples in this sentence?
An arts center could solve our community theater’s problems, such as being forced to rehearse in a drafty basement, a too-small stage, and the lack of a permanent performance space.
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Examples
Elaboration
An example is a sample of something used to show what the whole is like.
Notice how examples identify the specific problems faced by the community theater.
An arts center could solve our community theater’s problems, such as being forced to rehearse in a drafty basement, a too-small stage, and the lack of a permanent performance space.
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Examples
Elaboration
An example is a sample of something used to show what the whole is like.
Which terms in this sentence would be clarified with examples?
Some tests include several different types of questions.
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Click to see the terms that need clarification
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Elaboration
An example is a sample of something used to show what the whole is like.
Which terms in this sentence would be clarified with examples?
Some tests include several different types of questions.
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Examples
Click to see a revision
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Elaboration
An example is a sample of something used to show what the whole is like.
Some tests include several different types of questions. ORIGINAL
Some tests, such as my English and history final exams, include different types of questions, like multiple choice, true-false, and short-answer.
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Examples
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Analogies
Elaboration
An analogy is a comparison between two unlike things. Analogies can explain or clarify an idea or support an argument.
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Analogies
Elaboration
An analogy is a comparison between two unlike things. Analogies can explain or clarify an idea or support an argument.
What is the analogy in this paragraph?
The Africans came from many countries and from many cultures. Like the Native Americans, they established their territories based on centuries of tradition.
—Walter Dean Myers, “Abd al-Rahman Ibrahima”
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Elaboration
An analogy is a comparison between two unlike things. Analogies can explain or clarify an idea or support an argument.
What is the analogy in this paragraph?
The Africans came from many countries and from many cultures. Like the Native Americans, they established their territories based on centuries of tradition.
—Walter Dean Myers, “Abd al-Rahman Ibrahima”
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Analogies
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Analogies
Elaboration
What are the analogies in this paragraph?
Sailing is an inherently beautiful thing. To me it’s like dancing with the wind and the water; it’s like running with wolves—a perfect meeting of man and nature.
—Gary Paulsen, “A Life in the Day of Gary Paulsen”
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Click to see the analogy
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Elaboration
What are the analogies in this paragraph?
Sailing is an inherently beautiful thing. To me it’s like dancing with the wind and the water; it’s like running with wolves—a perfect meeting of man and nature.
—Gary Paulsen, “A Life in the Day of Gary Paulsen”
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Analogies
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Elaboration
What are the analogies in this paragraph?
Sailing is an inherently beautiful thing. To me it’s like dancing with the wind and the water; it’s like running with wolves—a perfect meeting of man and nature.
—Gary Paulsen, “A Life in the Day of Gary Paulsen”
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Analogies
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Notice that these analogies are also similes, using the word like.
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Facts and Statistics
Elaboration
A fact is a statement that can be proved. A statistic is a fact expressed in numbers. Adding a fact or statistic to your writing can help readers better understand your ideas.
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Facts and Statistics
Elaboration
A fact is a statement that can be proved. A statistic is a fact expressed in numbers. Adding a fact or statistic to your writing can help readers better understand your ideas.
Fact: Women have aided the United States’ military efforts for more than a century.
Statistic: Since the 1860s, more than 11 million women have served in or assisted the armed forces.
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Facts and Statistics
Elaboration
A statistic can often be used to elaborate on a fact.
How could statistics help you better understand how large mammoths were?
Mammoths in Africa, North America, and Eurasia were huge.
Click to see the revision with statistics
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Elaboration
A statistic can often be used to elaborate on a fact.
This statistic clarifies how tall mammoths could grow.
Mammoths in Africa, North America, and Eurasia often grew as tall as 14 feet.
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Facts and Statistics
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Elaboration
What vague words could be replaced with facts and statistics to strengthen this paragraph?
A lot of people in our community think our city should create bike lanes on all major streets to increase safety. Middle school students ride their bikes for transportation, fun, and exercise every day. They may be risking serious injuries, though. The number of young people hurt while cycling is alarming.
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Facts and Statistics
Click to see the vague information
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Elaboration
What vague words could be replaced with facts and statistics to strengthen this paragraph?
A lot of people in our community think our city should create bike lanes on all major streets to increase safety. Middle school students ride their bikes for transportation, fun, and exercise every day. They may be risking serious injuries, though. The number of young people hurt while cycling is alarming.
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Facts and Statistics
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Elaboration
Notice how replacing the vague words and phrases with statistics strengthens the paragraph.
Almost 90 percent of the people in our community I asked think our city should create bike lanes on all major streets to increase safety. Middle school students ride their bikes for transportation, fun, and exercise every day. They may be risking serious injuries, though. According to the National Safe Kids Campaign, in one year, more than 350,000 children under 14 were treated in hospital emergency rooms for bicycle-related injuries.
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Facts and Statistics
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Visuals
Elaboration
Photographs, illustrations, charts, and graphs enable you to present information that might take several paragraphs to describe.
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Visuals
Elaboration
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What do you learn from the following visual that would be harder to understand in words? i
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Elaboration
What do you learn from the following visual that would be harder to understand in words? i
With just a few words, this graph clearly compares the sizes of four ancient civilizations—Akkadia, Assyria, Babylonia, and Sumer.
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Visuals
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Elaboration
How does the following photograph help support the information provided in this paragraph?
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Visuals
For centuries, people have built terraces, or step-like banks, in hilly farming areas. Doing this makes it easier for them to plant and preserve the land. The level areas help the soil absorb water and also keep it from washing away. In addition to being good for farming, terracing makes the land look like a colorful piece of corduroy cloth.
Photograph by Adrienne McGrath
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Reasons
Elaboration
Reasons are the “why” behind arguments and opinions. When you revise, be sure every reason is supported with enough detail.
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Reasons
Elaboration
What reason is provided in this paragraph? What details support the reason?
Public schools should be allowed to sell food from popular restaurant chains in school cafeterias. Students definitely prefer restaurant food to standard cafeteria fare, and the food costs about the same as cafeteria meals. Also, because students like it, they’ll eat it instead of tossing it in the garbage, or even worse, around the cafeteria.
Click to see the reason and details
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Reasons are the “why” behind arguments and opinions. When you revise, be sure every reason is supported with enough detail.
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Reasons
Elaboration
What reason is provided in this paragraph? What details support the reason?
Public schools should be allowed to sell food from popular restaurant chains in school cafeterias. Students definitely prefer restaurant food to standard cafeteria fare, and the food costs about the same as cafeteria meals. Also, because students like it, they’ll eat it instead of tossing it in the garbage, or even worse, around the cafeteria.
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Reasons are the “why” behind arguments and opinions. When you revise, be sure every reason is supported with enough detail.
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Expert Testimony
Elaboration
An expert is an educated, experienced authority on a subject. Expert testimony is powerful support for any argument.
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Expert Testimony
Elaboration
An expert is an educated, experienced authority on a subject. Expert testimony is powerful support for any argument.
Where is the expert testimony in this paragraph?
The new factory has become an emotional issue for our town. Speaking for those in favor of it, Mayor Annette Framingham noted, “Consolidated Industries has helped boost our town’s economy by 36 percent over the past year. It has created 500 new jobs and has contributed generously to the community fund drive.”
Click to identify the expert testimony
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Expert Testimony
Elaboration
An expert is an educated, experienced authority on a subject. Expert testimony is powerful support for any argument.
The new factory has become an emotional issue for our town. Speaking for those in favor of it, Mayor Annette Framingham noted, “Consolidated Industries has helped boost our town’s economy by 36 percent over the past year. It has created 500 new jobs and has contributed generously to the community fund drive.”
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Expert Testimony
Elaboration
An expert is an educated, experienced authority on a subject. Expert testimony is powerful support for any argument.
The new factory has become an emotional issue for our town. Speaking for those in favor of it, Mayor Annette Framingham noted, “Consolidated Industries has helped boost our town’s economy by 36 percent over the past year. It has created 500 new jobs and has contributed generously to the community fund drive.”
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The expert supports the positive effects the factory has had on the town.
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