E-Safeguarding in the home – a starting point for parents and carers.

‘Elf ‘n’ Safety?

•Chris Whitelaw•Bi-laterally deaf

Why are we all here?

•Because we want the best for our children.•Because we want to maximise the benefits, and minimise the risks•Because we have all heard horror stories….but most of all…..•Because we love our children.

Why am I here?

•Because I want the best for my children.•Because I want to maximise the benefits, and minimise the risks•Because I know, and have seen first hand the horror stories….but most of all…..•Because I love my children…..

..but even having seen what I have seen, I believe 100% that we are empowered.

We CAN keep our youngsters safe online!

Terminology:

•Physical world – the world where things can be touched. Don’t call it the “real” world – to young people, the internet is the “real” world.•Offender – anyone who abuses the use of connected technology at the expense of someone else, or to obtain an advantage or leverage over another.•Monitoring- the reasonable checking up on what young people are doing online, on their phones, or any other form of connected interaction.

Technically advance children

•Highly able children•Intuitive technology•Ever-quicker connectivity•New curriculum focused more on Computer Sciences •Requirement to teach “responsible use” of technology. (not just about rights)

Risks – can’t NOT talk about them!).

•The biggest risk in e-safeguarding is NOT talking about the risks, which include (but are not limited to)….•Identity theft (Theirs AND potentially yours)•Sexual exploitation – including but not limited to grooming (Some young people exploit themselves – it isn’t all about predation)•Financial risks (Coming to a computer/phone near you)•Reputational risks – to individuals, and institutions•Behavioural changes, including aggression and sexual behaviour

E-Safety and e-safeguarding is NOT:-

•A technical issue – although there are technical requirements.•Something you can “do” and forget•An option

Electronic devices:-

•Are not something you can install and forget•Are “revivable” – especially by increasingly technically able young people. (Computer Sciences in schools)•Are devices that can (and often do) store a large amount of data about you and your family – sometimes “anonymised” data is sent back to the suppliers for market research purposes.•Are gateways to the planet – the good and the bad.

Minimum technical requirements:-

•Up-to-date anti virus, Firewall, anti-spyware and anti-malware product installed on all devices, and set to automatically update.•(MAC users – there are antivirus products for MAC, but so far, MAC users seem to have escaped!)•A firm knowledge of what connected technology is in the home, how it connects and with what.•Wireless networks (if used) encrypted to WPA2 standard.

Additional (Ideal) technical requirements:-

•Every person in the home has their own logons.•Only one adult is the “computer administrator”•Parental controls enabled for all children – no matter how old – on all computers and connectable devices– including reasonable time restrictions.•Parental controls applied to mobile phones – whether from the manufacturer or the mobile phone carrier.•A “Home Use” agreement in place for the internet and mobile phone use

Engagement with technology impacts on behaviour:-

•Aggression •Sexual/sexualised behaviour (even in Primary aged children)•Drugs and alcohol•Self Harm•Suicide•Criminal activity

Let’s start with games and apps:-

•It is possible to become addicted to games and apps.•Some “free” apps have hidden charges that are not disclosed at point of download.•Some APPS are free, but the device they are used on may incur charges. (Facebook App on mobile phones) •Some games are extremely violent, or may portray violence against women or minority groups•Gaming – particularly when using headsets - is known to be a vehicle for identity thieves, fraudsters and paedophiles.

Safe gaming:

•Age appropriate games.•Games consoles NOT in bedrooms or other isolated areas.•A reasonable limit on the time spent playing online games.•A firm agreement on what questions NOT to answer online – EVER!•Contacting the game/app manufacturer and asking if there are any charges, if so how much and how are they incurred. Don’t expect overly helpful answers!•Keep an eye on their “contacts” lists.

Uncomfortable bit coming up…….

•Less than 1% of the internet is pornography.•How many pages on the internet?•23,000,000,000,000.•1% = 230,000,000,000•It’s not “if”, its “when”•We need to guide our children into adulthood in the online world as well as in the physical world.

Key messages…….

•Pornography is not representative of relationships.•There is no such thing as “expectations” – for girls OR boys.•Once an image is out there it is there forever, and it can never be deleted with absolute certainty that there aren’t copies…..this is MOST important for inquisitive young adults because of the sharp rise in……

……………SEXTING………….

Texting and Sexting:

•Sexting is defined as “a sexually explicit discussion using mobile phone, email or messenger systems. It may involve the transmission and reception of sexual images.”•Young people engage in sexual activity via:

i)Mobile phones

ii)Email

iii)Webcam

iv)Random chat rooms and video chat rooms

Texting and sexting:

•Young people are curious about sex – as we were at that age.•Young people generate a large number of myths around what is/isn’t safe.•Young people may find themselves in breach of the law. (The Police do not wish to criminalise children, however it is important that they know that some activities may be viewed differently when they are older.)•We need to guide our young people’s emergence as adults in the online world as well as the physical world.

Grooming (the part no-one wants to talk about):

The offender thinks:-•That offending online is “less harmful” than offending in real life. False•That if caught, the Courts view this as less serious. False•That its ok if the young person goes along with it willingly. False•May or may not want to meet the young person.

Grooming (the part no-one wants to talk about):

•Can be very subtle – and take place over a long period of time.•Can involve some implied threat.•Usually involves some kind of inappropriate questions or requests…..and this is the key for us!

Beat the paedophile

•Teach young people that once a photograph is posted online it is there forever, and ANYONE can see it – or “enhance” it•Encourage young people to report suspicious activity – to you – to school staff – to the Police.•If a young person has already sent images – or engaged in some intimate activity online, it is never too late to ask for help. THEY ARE NOT THE ONE AT FAULT.

Social Media…..

•Isn’t “social media” – it is a highly sophisticated, multi billion-dollar business.•Isn’t “free.” Servers cost money, staff cost money, internet connections cost money, and accommodation costs money.•The price you pay for using it is the loss of control over the information you place on it. Read the Privacy Notice of Facebook.

Social Media…..and young people…danger signs.

•“friends” who you do not know in the physical world•A reluctance. To share their site with you (or let you be a friend on it.)•Spending too much time on it or showing anxiety about it.•Changes in behaviour or dress sense when there is no other cause.

Social Media…..and young people…danger signs.

•Cyber Bullying happens more on social media than anywhere else.•Grooming.•Referrals to other sites where dubious activity takes place.•“Share if you agree” images.

Information, Information, Information.•Lots of requests for information – from shops – websites – mobile phones – you name it.•YOUR DATA – AND THAT OF YOUR CHILDREN IS WORTH MONEY.•Identity thieves often target young people. •Often (though not exclusively) through online games.•Age – D.O.B – Place of Birth – town of residency in the UK.•Teach our children (and ourselves) a list of RED LIGHT questions.

On the internet, there is NO need to….•Answer questions.•Provide ANY personal information.•You can always ask for a letter.•No bank, building Society, reputable trading company will EVER ask you to reset your account via email or phone call. •Microsoft DON’T care that you “have a problem with your PC.”•We need to teach our children to listen to that little sense that something isn’t right.

APPS.•Massive rise in the number of apps available. •ANYONE can write an app and sell it, or give it away.•Some are really helpful•Others are not•Some really are free – but usually tied to a product or service•Some are definitely NOT free•Others are free to install, but may not be free to use•Internet connectivity on mobile phones generally comes at a price.•Some are data miners•Hard to tell the difference

APPS – the internet and mobile phones•An app needs internet access to work. The phone is connected to your wireless network at home.•Free or not free to use?•Free – dependent on your internet contract.•An app needs internet access to work. The phone is connected to the 4G network at home.•Free or not free to use?•Free ONLY up to the point of your bandwidth allowance

Oh For Heaven’s Sake!!!!!!•It’s all so complicated!•Yes – and it won’t get any easier. Some even quite reputable traders rely on the fact that you won’t actually read user agreements or licences.•I can’t be bothered with tracking it all!•And they are very glad about it! This is how unexpected charges accrue, and why so many families get unpleasant surprises.•Not everyone is out to con us!•Perfectly true – but how do you tell the difference? If you find a magic bullet, please let me know!

Let’s take control…….Use The News

•Good news doesn’t make the news – so……•When internet issues or scams are reported, use them to discuss how they happened. Knowledge is Power.•Your youngster may not like the conversation – but they will remember it.•Paedophiles work in shadow and darkness – talking about how they offend sheds light on their activities.

Let’s take control…….Your home – your rules

•Every contact your youngster has with connected technology comes with a set of rules.•Have some for your own home – it works, and it also extends the world of work, university, college etc into your home. •YOU have provided the equipment they have and the connectivity that goes with it, and they are living under your roof. Your rules apply.

My own agreement with my 14 year old about her phone…..

1)This is my phone. I bought it and I’m paying the bill. I am lending it to you.

2)……..we then agreed between us 5 do’s and 5 don’ts.

10) When you mess up (and you WILL mess up) there will be a discussion and a consequence. That consequence will be less if you tell us about it rather than let us find out about it.)

As a group of parents of this school – numbers matter.

•There is power in numbers.•You are best placed to know what is happening in the local area – when YOU know of a scam, tell the school – they can tell the rest of the parental body.•Subject-specific evenings such as this? (An evening focused just on Social Media, or APP financial risks, mobile phone risks,…. Your call!)

Talk – often!:

•Meet as a group from time to time.•Inform the school if you become aware of any scams or suspicious activity in the area.•Get under the skin of how things like Social Media really work – why is Facebook totally free to its users, yet is a multi billion dollar company.

Learn their language: TEST TIME!

•WMM?•Wanna meet me?•ASL?•Age, sex, location – beware of ASLf13 or similar•WC?•Do you have a webcam?•POS•Parent Over Shoulder

Teaching Young People is one thing – knowing what they are doing is another. So…..

•Monitoring? •Parental Controls? (Including on mobile phones?)•Trust issues?•Everyone on the same page? (Sleepovers?)

Teaching Young People is one thing – knowing what they are doing is another. So…..

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Teaching Young People is one thing – knowing what they are doing is another. So…..

•MACs offer an administrator access to logs for all standard users.•These logs are not visible to the standard user.•Monitoring at home is just an extension of what happens in schools, colleges, universities and businesses.•“Acceptable Use” is just an extension of what happens in schools, colleges, universities and businesses.

Action Plan for the home.

•Audit – what do you have, where is it, how does it connect?•What is on any portable storage?•Mobile phones (don’t forget the “man drawer!”)•Mobile phone plans and parental controls?•Family discussion around acceptable use, meaningful consequences and rewards.•Regular top up training – here or self-taught.

Staying informed:

•http://ceop.police.uk•http://www.thinkuknow.co.uk•Http://www.childnet.com•http://www.iwf.org.uk•http://www.wisekids.org.uk/ukccis/ukccis.htm•http://www.urbandictionary.com