dz ws 1 · 4" whatdowritersdo? select topics – select content – select questions to answer...
TRANSCRIPT
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Training Wetenschappelijk schrijven
Deventer Ziekenhuis
Annemarie van der Zeeuw www.focusoptekst.nl/wasp
Programma -‐ deel 1
• De fasen in het schrijfproces • Opzet van Inleiding en Discussie • Useful phrases • Topic and key sentences • Zinslengte en de lijdende vorm • De ?jden van het werkwoord
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Programma -‐ deel 2
1. Valkuilen van het wetenschappelijk Engels v noun style v punctua?on v which/that v dangling modifier
2. Discussie: hedging & boos?ng
3. Abstract: s?jl en structuur
HET SCHRIJFPROCES
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What do writers do?
Select topics – select content – select questions to answer – find key messages – articulate the point of each paragraph – be clear about aims – add enough meta text – but not too much - gather information – search for more evidence - make a sketch or outline – try to be a fresh reader – formulate key messages – resume or paraphrase ideas of other people – check grammar, spelling, punctuation – hedge conclusions – try to say it in less words or to build shorter sentences - ……. - ……… -‐………
The simple wriDng process
Edit, revise, edit…
Write
Plan
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Stages of the wriDng process
Edit
Write – find words
Organize
Select
Plan
Stages of the wriDng process
Edit
Write
Organize
Select
Plan C O N T E N T
F O R M
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Simon Peyton Jones, Cambridge ‘How to write a great research paper’ (You Tube)
The first of SEVEN SIMPLE SUGGESTIONS 1. Write early: wri?ng = researching
The wriDng process according to Jones
Edit
Rewrite
Analyze
WRITE C O N T E N T
F O R M
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Split the wriDng and the thinking BUT ALSO Write to clarify and develop your thoughts
• WriDng = planning + selecDng + structuring + finding words + viewing your text through the eyes of the reader + revising
So, what helps?
• Work in stages • Save the grammar/spelling/punctua?on for last • Be flexible – switch between stages • Talk about your paper with others • Ask for (structured) feedback in an early stage
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IMRAD
The format: IMRD Introduc=on What is the subject of this study? Why is it important? What do we already know? What do we not know yet? So, what is the problem or reason for this par?cular study? And: what is the major ques?on of this study? Materials and methods What was tested or inves?gated? And how did we do it? Under what condi?ons? Results What did we find? Discussion What are the major findings? How can we interpret and explain them? What can we derive from them? How do the findings meet or not meet our expecta?ons? What are comparisons with previous studies? What are possible cri?cisms? What are the strengths and weaknesses of this study? How should we carry on? Conclusions What is the answer to the major ques?on? What does the answer implicate?
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4 secDons, 4 purposes
IntroducDon
moDvate your reader, background, importance, your idea
and aim of your research
4 secDons, 4 purposes
Materials and Methods
make replica?on of results possible + soundness of argument
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4 secDons, 4 purposes
Results
outline relevant findings, give a picture
4 secDons, 4 purposes
Discussion
reflect on results, give meanings to your findings,
support conclusions, eye for the future
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THE INTRODUCTION
QuesDon Tool IntroducDon
• What is the topic of this paper? • What is the problem? • Why is it important? • What do we (not) know yet? • How will I search for the answer?
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! !The$Introduction$!
1.!What!is!the!topic!of!the!study?!!!!!!!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$2.!What!is!the!problem?!!!!!!!
$3.!Why!is!it!important?!!!!!!
$4.!What!do!we!(not)!know?!Gap!of!knowledge?!!!!!!
!5.!How!to!find!the!answer?!!!!!!!
!!!!!
Story line of the introduc?on TOPIC / MOVE QUESTIONS
ESTABLISHING TERRITORY What is the topic?
ESTABLISHING A GAP
What is the problem?
Why important?
What do we know/what not? Gap of knowledge?
FILLLING THE GAP What research ques?on?
Design or methodology? How to find the answer?
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Happiness is infecDous • Nicholas Christakis (Harvard Medical School) & James Fowler (University of California)
• Data from the Framingham Heart Study (ongoing cardiovascular study, begun in 1948)
• Study looked at 5,000 individuals over 20 years • Happiness spreads like an emo?onal contagion • When you get happy, the network effect can be measured up to 3 degrees
• This chain reac?on benefits friends’ friends, and your friends’ friends’ friends…
• Conversely, sadness does not spread J
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funnel shape of introducDon
3 moves of Swales Move 1 Establishing a territory Claiming centrality – Making topic generalisa4ons – Reviewing items of previous reserach Move 2 Establishing the gap Counter-‐claiming – Indica4ng a gap – Raising a ques4on – Con4nuing a tradi4on Move 3 Filling the gap Outlining purposes – Announcing present research – Announcing main findings – Indica4ng ar4cle structure
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THE DISCUSSION
Discussion Happiness
• Find the ques?ons that are answered in the discussion sec?on of the Happiness ar?cle
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Happiness Discussion an outline in ques4ons
1. What is the answer to the main ques?on? -‐> What does this show? -‐> How remarkable is this?
2. How do the results compare with earlier studies? (answer: in line with evolu?onary theories)-‐> how does spreading of happiness serve an evolu?onary purpose?
3. How can we explain these findings? -‐> various possible mechanisms (1,2,3)
4. What is a surprising finding? What can we learn from that / what can it mean?
5. So what? Relevance? -‐> example (illness)
6. What is the general conclusion? Take home message?
The discussion TOPIC QUESTION
Bopom line main result(s) message implica?on
What is an important finding? How do the data support the finding? Or: what is our claim?
Comparison with earlier studies, what is different, what is new?
How does this finding relate to what we already know? Is it affirma?ve? How? Or how not? And what does that mean?
Explana?on, interpreta?on and mechanisms.:
How can we explain this finding? (If – partly – unexpected) What is solved, what is s?ll unclear?
Weakness/strengths design/methods sta?s?cal power
What are limita?ons / strengths of the study, and how do they support or weaken our claim?
Clinical interpreta?on and medical relevance
What are implica?ons? What can we derive from this finding? Who benefits?
Conclusion with implica?on, sugges?ons
What is the general conclusion? How can we go on from here? Sugges?ons for further research.
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Science has shown an impressive growth over past decades and more scien?fic papers are published now than ever before. Between 1996 and 2011, over 15 million individuals authored around 25 million papers. Owing to expanding research fields, it is increasingly difficult to getstudies published in high impact journals. This is important since.......... Consequently, in order to get published, scien?fic discoveries can some?mes be exaggerated or the poten?al implica?ons overstated. Indeed, overinterpreta?on, overstatement, and misrepor?ng of scien?fic results have been frequently reported. However, the prevalence of this problem in the scien?fic literature is unclear.
The funnel
introduc?on
details, examples, comparisons, explana?on,
argumenta?on
point (key message)
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Trea?ng pa?ents for a complicated Urinary Tract Infec?on (cUTI) with an oral an?bio?c instead of an intravenous an?bio?c has several advantages. Oren, the administra?on of intravenous an?bio?cs provokes specific complica?ons, such as infec?on of the iv-‐catheter. Also, it implies hospitaliza?on or a specialized home treatment, of which complica?ons like hospital acquired infec?on, func?onal decline, venous thrombo-‐embolism, falls, delirium, sleep depriva?on, pressure ulcers and readmissions are well known. These risks are avoided by the use of oral an?bio?cs.
Book case
First sentence announces content
First element / step / feature / idea
Second element / step / feature / idea
Third element / step / feature / idea
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Pulmonary nerve endings were rela?vely insensi?ve to phenal diguanide. Of 25 pulmonary nerve endings tested, only 10 were s?mulated when this drug was injected into the right atrium, and in only one of these did firing exceed 2.2. impulses/s. If the laper ending is excluded, the average peak frequency of the endings s?mulated was only 1.7 impulses/s.
The pyramid
point
(key message)
explana?on, argumenta?on
data, details, further background
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Few studies have examined residen?al exposures to agricultural pes?cides and the results from these studies have been mixed. Two studies examined pes?cide use in California using the California Pes?cide Use Repor?ng database and childhood cancer incidence rates at the census block group level. These inves?gators found no associa?ons between agricultural pes?cides (individual, chemical groups, or toxicologic groups) and childhood ALL or gliomas, except for a posi?ve significant associa?on between the 90th percen?le of propargite, a pes?cide used to kill mites, and leukemia. In a case–control study of childhood leukemia in California, Rull et al. compared the density of applied pes?cides within half a mile from the birth residence for 213 cases and 268 controls and found posi?ve associa?ons with pes?cides categorized into chlorinated phenols, organophosphates, and triazines. However, these findings were only significant at the middle ter?le of exposure and the strength of associa?on weakened as exposure increased.
The spread of happiness seems to reach up to three degrees of separa?on, just like the spread of obesity and smoking behaviour. Hence, although the person to person effects of these outcomes tend to be quite strong, they decay well before reaching the whole network. In other words, the reach of a par?cular behaviour or mood cascade is not limitless. We conjecture that this phenomenon is generic. We might yet find that a “three degrees of influence rule” applies to depression, anxiety, loneliness, drinking, ea?ng, exercise, and many other health related ac?vi?es and emo?onal states, and that this rule restricts the effec?ve spread of health phenomena to three degrees of separa?on away from the ego.
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The first sentence: topic sentence
The first sentence of a paragraph: • introduces the topic of the paragraph • may signal the move or the quesDon that the paragraph answers
• some%mes: provides the central idea (the point or key sentence)
LIJDENDE VORM
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Two samples were assessed.
Actor is not important
Two samples were assessed.
We assessed two samples.
Actor is not important
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Actor is unknown, unimportant or anyone
• The subjects were randomly assigned to one of three condiDons.
• The therapeuDcal potenDal of fish oil was discussed in an editorial in this journal last year.
• ScienDfic texts must be spelled correctly.
We assessed two samples.
Passive voice is leading in Methods secDon
Actor is not important
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............. but not automa?cally in the other sec?ons of your ar?cle
.... because ......
The acDve voice is more precise
This method has been shown to be more effecDve.
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This method has been shown to be more effecDve.
This method is more effec?ve…
X has shown this method to be more effec?ve..
The ac?ve voice is more precise
The acDve voice is more concise
• As an alterna?ve method, a mul?copy mean-‐field approach can also be used.
• A mul?copy meanfield approach is an alterna?ve (method).
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The acDve voice is more concise
• When the new protocol was applied, acceptable or beper solu?ons were obtained for each case.
• Arer applica?on of the new protocol, each case resulted in acceptable or beper solu?ons.
In summary, we provide, to the best of our knowledge, the first evidence for experience-‐dependent changes in white maper microstructure.
Active voice: to underline your own conclusions and considerations
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AcDve voice: to emphasize a decision
We constructed a sampling frame and selec?on process to minimize selec?on biases and maximize generalizability of the accumulated evidence.
• We inves?gated the an?plaque and surface-‐ac?ve proper?es of mouth rinses containing..…. Addi?onally the effect of daily use was established..
• We obtained informed consent from 48 adults and placed them into either a training group (n = 24) or an untrained control group (n = 24). .. This was done by….
Combining the two: a better style
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Use the passive:
• .…. if the actor is not important
• ….. if describing general facts, rela?ons or associa?ons
• .... and to maintain cohesion..
Our analysis of scien?fic abstracts demonstrates that posi?ve and—to a lesser extent—nega?ve words are increasingly used over the past four decades. By contrast, this increase was absent for neutral and random words. The increase in posi?ve words could not be aDributed to general language tendencies as represented by the millions of printed books searched through in thisstudy. Neither is the increase driven by one or two words, because all words showed increased frequency paperns. Even though the upward trend in posi?ve word use was conserved in high impact journals, this trend was significantly less pronounced (fig 1⇓). This difference could be the result of...
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Use the acDve:
• ….. to vary your style in Methods and Results
• ..... to underline reasons or goals • …… presen?ng your own thoughts
Sentence length
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Lee and colleagues noted that, although removal of physical inacDvity had the largest effect, in terms of percentage reducDon, on colon cancer and the smallest on coronary heart disease, the number of coronary heart disease cases prevented would be greater due to higher global incidence.
(45 words)
Lee and colleagues noted the following. Removal of physical inacDvity had the largest effect on colon cancer. The smallest effect was observed for coronary heart disease. These two observaDons were expressed in terms of percentage reducDon. Yet, the number of coronary heart desease cases prevented would be greater than that for colon cancer. This is explained by a higher global incidence.
(61 words)
Removal of physical inac?vity had the largest effect on colon cancer, and the smallest on coronary heart disease, in terms of percentage reduc?on. However, with respect to the number of cases that can poten?ally be averted, coronary heart disease would have a far larger effect than would colon cancer because of its higher incidence. (54 words)
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average sentence length > 24 words ?
Advantages of short sentences
SHORTER SENTENCES: • Are more easy to read
• Make reshuffling of sentences within a paragraph easier
• Prevent you from needless mistakes
• Give key messages more power
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Yet ….
• Variety gives more harmony
• Complex sentences oren enhance informa?on density: you need less words
• Complex sentences allow more detailed expression
More detailed expression Emphasis in a complex sentence: 1 Main clause 2 End placement
Source: Gopen and Swan: The science of scien4fic wri4ng. American Scien?st Online
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Emphasis on main clause
• Although Fred is a nice guy, he beats his dog.
Emphasis on main clause
• Although Fred is a nice guy, he beats his dog.
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• Although Fred beats his dog, he is a nice guy.
• Although Fred beats his dog, he is a nice guy.
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Placement long-‐short
Shorter sentences: topic or key sentences
Longer: heart of the paragraph
Example short-‐long
Our results suggest that adherence to the full bundle is
important. Given that adherence rates for pa?ents who had
urgent or emergent opera?ons performed by surgeons who
implemented the bundle were substan?ally lower than for
pa?ents who underwent scheduled opera?ons, we hypothesize
that ins?tu?onal barriers may prevent full bundle adherence for
pa?ents undergoing urgent or emergent opera?ons.
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Example short-‐long
Our results suggest that adherence to the full bundle is
important. Given that adherence rates for pa?ents who had
urgent or emergent opera?ons performed by surgeons who
implemented the bundle were substan?ally lower than for
pa?ents who underwent scheduled opera?ons, we hypothesize
that ins?tu?onal barriers may prevent full bundle adherence for
pa?ents undergoing urgent or emergent opera?ons.
Example short-‐long This bundle is concordant with current SSI preven?on guidelines. For example, the bundle s?pulates that vancomycin be given as periopera?ve prophylaxis only for pa?ents who are MRSA-‐posi?ve or for pa?ents whose S aureus carriage status is unknown at the ?me of the opera?on, which meets Surgical Care Improvement Project criteria. Similarly, guidelines from ASHP, the Society of Thoracic Surgeons, the Infec?ous Diseases Society of America, the Surgical Infec?on Society, and the Society for Healthcare Epidemiology of America state that mupirocin may have u?lity among S aureus carriers, and that pa?ents carrying MRSA should receive vancomycin and cefazolin or cefuroxime because vancomycin is not ac?ve against gram nega?ve organisms and it prevents MSSA SSIs less effec?vely than cefazolin or cefuroxime.
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Example short-‐long This bundle is concordant with current SSI preven?on guidelines. For example, the bundle s?pulates that vancomycin be given as periopera?ve prophylaxis only for pa?ents who are MRSA-‐posi?ve or for pa?ents whose S aureus carriage status is unknown at the ?me of the opera?on, which meets Surgical Care Improvement Project criteria. Similarly, guidelines from ASHP, the Society of Thoracic Surgeons, the Infec?ous Diseases Society of America, the Surgical Infec?on Society, and the Society for Healthcare Epidemiology of America state that mupirocin may have u?lity among S aureus carriers, and that pa?ents carrying MRSA should receive vancomycin and cefazolin or cefuroxime because vancomycin is not ac?ve against gram nega?ve organisms and it prevents MSSA SSIs less effec?vely than cefazolin or cefuroxime.
Embedded sentences
The smallest of the URF's (URFA6L), a 207-‐nucleoDde (nt) reading frame overlapping out of phase the NH2-‐terminal porDon of the adenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6 gene has been idenDfied as the animal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H+-‐ATPase subunit 8 gene.
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Embedded sentences
The smallest of the URF's (URFA6L), a 207-‐nucleoDde (nt) reading frame overlapping out of phase the NH2-‐terminal porDon of the adenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6 gene has been idenDfied as the animal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H+-‐ATPase subunit 8 gene.
Reshuffling
The smallest of the URF's has been iden?fied as the animal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H+-‐ATPase subunit 8 gene. This URFA6L is a 207-‐nucleo?de (nt) reading frame overlapping out of phase the NH2-‐terminal por?on of the adenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6 gene. The URFA6L is a 207-‐nucleo?de (nt) reading frame overlapping out of phase the NH2-‐terminal por?on of the adenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6 gene. This URF, the smallest, has been iden?fied as the animal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H+-‐ATPase subunit 8 gene.
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Sentence length + structure
ü Follow a gramma?cal subject as soon as possible with its verb
ü Place new informa?on you want readers to emphasize at the end of the sentence or in a main clause.
ü Put important informa?on in shorter sentences.
Readability Scoring
• Hemingway App: hpp://www.hemingwayapp.com/
• The Writer’s diet: Helen Sword
• Readability indexex
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VERB TENSES
The tenses
PRESENT SIMPLE OTT
I think They find
PAST SIMPLE OVT
I thought They found
PRESENT PERFECT VTT
I have thought They have found
PAST PERFECT VVT
I had thought They had found
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Present tense: They say ü To present general facts ü To make author-‐specific cita?ons ü To paraphrase informa?on ü To give an opinion ü To state research aims
Past simple: We analyzed
ü To refer to specific and finished ac?ons, events or states in the past
In your paper: refer to your research and results in Intro + Disc ü Elsewhere in your ar?cle: oren accompanied by a past ?me marker: in early 2004, two decades ago, yesterday..
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Present perfect -‐ We have shown
ü To refer to an unspecified ?me before now, and ac?ons, events or states that are unfinished or have direct relevance to the present. In your paper: to refer to recent research and trends (Introduc?on): direct relevance to current state or knowledge
In the IntroducDon PRESENT SIMPLE To describe general background in the beginning -‐ The physical process of fragmenta4on is relevant to… -‐ Cancer is the main course of death in …..
PRESENT PERFECT
To describe the problem ?ll now (currency): -‐ Persistence has most oIen been studied in terms of… -‐ Yet, while several studies have evaluated whether healthier foods or diets cost more, the evidence has never, to our knowledge, been systema4cally reviewed
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In the IntroducDon PRESENT SIMPLE + PAST SIMPLE for author-‐specific cita4ons: Past simple: -‐ Jones et al (2006) measured the components of…. (focus on research: what did they DO)
Present simple: -‐ Huet (2014) men?ons the need to inves?gate (focus on repor?ng: what do they REPORT)
Here, the past simple is also possible.
In the IntroducDon PRESENT SIMPLE + PAST SIMPLE At the end of the introduc?on: -‐ To address this deficiency, we sought to generate normal and neoplas4c pancrea4c organoids by modifying……..
-‐ We hypothesize(d) that… -‐ The aim of our study was…..
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In the Methods PAST SIMPLE (your ac?ons) Other info: other tenses
Although complete masking of interven?ons was not possible, pa?ents provided wripen informed consent to par?cipate in their own study group, without being informed of the existence of another group. This form of masking is common in cluster randomised trials, and avoids poten?al bias from pa?ents in the control group reques?ng the interven?on or otherwise altering their behaviour. Oncologists and inves?gators were aware of assignment.
In the Results PAST SIMPLE
Three puta?ve GREs, 3 AREs and 4 C/EBPβ binding sites were predicted on pig 3β-‐HSD gene promoter (Fig. 3a). ChIP
assay revealed significantly lower binding of GR to the first and the third predicted GREs on 3β-‐HSD promoter in the
liver of EHL piglets (P < 0.05, Fig. 3b). No significant breed difference was observed for the binding of AR or C/EBPβ to 3β-‐HSD promoter in the liver of preweaning piglets (Fig 3c
en d).
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In the Discussion
MIX
Sta?ng the answer to your ques?on: PRESENT SIMPLE
Our results show that in pa?ents with exacerba?ons requiring hospital admission, a 5-‐day treatment course of 40 mg of prednisone daily is noninferior to a 14-‐day treatment course with respect to reexacerba?on.
In the Discussion
MIX
Reflec?on on study: PRESENT SIMPLE
Looking back: PAST SIMPLE
Our study has several limita?ons. When we designed this noninferiority trial, there was no standard glucocor?coid regimen for the treatment of exacerbated COPD.