duffy/atwater © 2005 prentice hall chapter 8 you and your friends
TRANSCRIPT
Duffy/Atwater © 2005 Prentice Hall
Chapter 8
You and Your Friends
Duffy/Atwater © 2005 Prentice Hall
Chapter Outline
A. Meeting People
1. Are First Impressions Important?
2. Mistaken Impressions
3. Shyness
Duffy/Atwater © 2005 Prentice Hall
B. Interpersonal Attraction
1. Friendships Are Precious
2. When Friends Get Together
3. Self-disclosure – Those Little Secrets
4. Same-sex, Opposite-Sex Friends
5, Staying Friends or Breaking Up
6. Loneliness
Duffy/Atwater © 2005 Prentice Hall
A. Meeting People:
• We need both intimate and casual friendships.
• Those who lack such relationships feel lonesome.
• People differ in their respective needs for social relationships.
• Even our momentary moods can influence how social we prefer to be.
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1. Are First Impressions Most Important?
• First Impressions are those initial impressions we form of others and are based on very little information.
• First impressions do appear to be most important.
• In impression management, not all impressions are treated equally.
• There are a number of factors on which we base our first impressions (see next few slides):
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Type of Behavior Matters:
• Positive behavior is the expected norm.
• Thus, when someone does something negative, it stands out in our minds.
• We therefore presume the negative behavior was done intentionally.
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Physical Attractiveness is also important:
• Physical attractiveness of new acquaintances colors our
first impressions.
• Attractive people are judged to be more compassionate,
successful, intelligent, interesting, sociable, etc., although
this may not be the case in reality.
• Unattractive others are perceived negatively.
• People usually settle for someone about as attractive as
they are – the matching hypothesis.
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Other Factors Also Influence First Impressions:
• Reputation – hearsay from someone else influences us.
• Similarity – assumed similarity leads to liking.
• Propinquity – the less the physical distance, the more the liking.
• Nonverbal signals – a person’s posture and gestures also influence our attraction to them.
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2. Mistaken Impressions:
• We often use mental shortcuts (heuristics) to form impressions; thus, the impressions can be incorrect.
• Stereotypes or widespread generalizations based little on reality also shape our impressions of others.
• Various errors of judgment also make us misconstrue others. For example, the fundamental attribution error tends to make us focus on traits, not on situations.
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Shyness
• Shy people often are perceived as aloof.
• Some shy people may experience an extreme form of shyness known as social anxiety.
• Shy people dislike being shy and see shyness as a personal fault.
• Shyness can be reduced by learning to censor or cut off self-monitoring of thoughts and behaviors.
• Shyness is on the rise in America.
• Some people are finding relief from shyness on the internet.
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B. Interpersonal Attraction
• The desire for interpersonal connectedness appears to be a fundamental human motive.
• The more we get to know someone, the more likely the attraction will ripen into friendship.
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1. Friendships Are Precious
• Friendship can be defined as the affectionate attachment between two or more people.
• Friendship is more than attraction, though.
• High quality friendships are characterized by:
Helping Disclosure of secrets Praise Loyalty Warmth and closeness
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2. When Friends Get Together:
• One of the most common activities among friends is the sharing of intimate talk.
• In intimate talks, friends are participating in self-disclosure – which is the sharing of personal information with someone else.
• Women are more likely than men to self-disclose.
• Doing favors for one another is a sign of friendship.
• Another common activity among friends is social support – a process whereby one individual or group offers comfort and advice to others so they can use it for coping.
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3. Self-disclosure: Those Little Secrets
• Self-disclosure is defined as the sharing of intimate or personal information with others.
• Self-disclosure may help us vent or share emotions with another person. This may be a healthy thing to do if done carefully.
• There are certain “unwritten rules” about self-disclosure. For example:
- don’t disclose intimate information to strangers- don’t disclose so much to a friend that he or she feels obligated to disclose equally sensitive material and thus feels uncomfortable.
• There are gender differences in self-disclosure, with women more willing to disclose information.
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4. Same-Sex, Opposite-Sex Friends
• Intimacy plays a more central role in women-to-women friendships.
• Men are not as close to each other as women are to each other.
• Men typically do “buddy activities (e.g. sports) ” with one another rather than share intimate information.
• Opposite-sex friends are sometimes used to explore ways to meet others of the opposite-sex.
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5. Staying Friends or Breaking Up
• There are several reasons friendships break up.
• One major factor that contributes to the dissolution of friendship is life transition. One friend moves away, takes a new job, or becomes too busy, for example.
• Another reason friends break up is that trust or confidentiality is broken.
• Yet a different reason is that friends realize they are more different than they initially thought or that one person experiences personal growth and the other doesn’t.
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6. Loneliness:
• Loneliness is a subjective state where the quality and quantity of relations wanted is lower than what is available.
• College students often report high levels of loneliness.
• Loneliness tends to decline as we age.
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Loneliness Cont’d
• Many factors contribute to loneliness, such as low self-esteem, poor social skills, culture, and passivity.
• People with high levels of emotional intelligence (EQ) report being less lonely than those without high EQ.
• EQ is defined as the ability to regulate one’s own emotions as well as to be empathic for others’ emotions.
The end