Phuong Bui

“Raise your hand if you think you’re kind of a nice person.”

All of the juniors in the auditorium, me included, raised their hands.

But did someone lie?

It was the summer after middle school when I installed this app on my

phone called “PimpleEraser.” I switched to a new phone about two

years later and again, “PimpleEraser” was the first app I got. (Quick

disclaimer: they didn’t pay me.) Before I got this app, however, I had

been very self-conscious of my appearance in photos for at least three

years of my adolescence. It was h-a-r-d.

This obsession to cover my blemishes went on until last Spring Break,

when I met a wonderful lady during a service trip to India. Her name

is Kamini. Having traveled to all corners of the world helping various

communities in need, Kamini seemed to carry a constant, contagious

grin and open arms ready for a warm embrace. In the course of two

and a half weeks where Kamini acted as both our trip coordinator and

caretaker, I found myself thinking in a new perspective. For once in

my life, I didn’t feel compelled to hide any of my physical flaws.

Whether it was a brief moment when we queued for breakfast or a

short walk to the nearby mosque where she would teach me about the

founding philosophy of Sufism, I always felt an indescribable feeling of

affection toward Kamini. Later, during our 14-hour flight back to

America, I had the chance to reflect deeply on why I had let down all

my guards during the trip.

Then I realized: Kamini was nice. Sincerely and relentlessly nice. Each

time I saw her, I was soaked in her infectious smiles and her “How

was your day?”’s; I didn’t feel a sense of insecurity even though my

uncovered blemishes were obvious. Instead, I felt appreciated for who

I really was; at last, I was no longer bound by others’ judgments. Then

I stumbled: Phuong, what have you been doing? Sitting in silence, I

recalled all the times when I had favored a person because of his or

her enticing appearance or when I formed prejudices against people I

didn’t know well. I wasn’t just unfair to others, I was also unfair to

myself - I blatantly disregarded what I had gone through and imposed

the same treatment on others. I wasn’t nice.

In retrospect, to be nice has been redefined, as evident by Kamini’s

reactions toward my flaws. It is no longer about social etiquette;

rather, it is about being generous with one’s time and solicitude in

order to help others feel confident about themselves. I had no choice,

then; to “unlearn” the inveterate tendencies of forming

preconceptions about others, I had to understand that kindness and

encouragement have now become indispensable to my growth. Been

there, done that.

for #1, perhaps you can tie in how in your culture, a lot of emphasis is placed on looks. well, especially in india right? girls are married off - the whole arranged marriage thing is balanced on first impressions - education is of secondary importance

Wen C.: of course this has since evolved

"ever since my experience with kamini, I have utilized what she taught me in academic

settings. I learned that simply encouraging my classmates to be nice, I was able to promote a

non-judgmental and collaborative environment at work or build rapport etc etc"

to address #1, you might want to think about discussing the overwhelming emphasis on looks instead of personality - both in media and cultural aspects

Wen C.: and relate that to how you were constantly under the pressure of having to look a certain way (aka no pimples)

Wen C.: then when you met kamini, you realized that all that was for naught! because it matters more how well you treat others

Wen C.: also at the last paragraph

Wen C.: after bringing up how you're able to utilize being nice in academic settings

Wen C.: talk about what you wish to do in the future

Wen C.: (beyond college)

Wen C.: "This lesson will remain with me forever and I will no doubt realize that simply being nice might help me grow into the woman I have always aspired to be, more so than focusing on covering up my blemishes"

Wen C.: idk something like that

Wen C.: apply it to beyond college

Wen C.: or maybe say you plan on starting an organization teaching other young girls to focus on what's within

Wen C.: that will show your "passion", which will address her #2, #3, #4

Me: oooh sounds like a good idea

Wen C.: and the cultural aspect and society's obsession over looks that you can mention in the paragraph we took out - that will cover #1

Me: i see whoa this is so helpfull

Me: *helpful

Wen C.: PHUONGGG i'm so sorry! i wish i could stay! but i have another lesson with a student in a minute. i can meet later after 9:30 PM CST? so thats in 1 hour and 30 minutes?

Me: sure!

Me: see you then! :)

Wen C.: okay or we can meet after you've written up your rough draft again and i can check it again

Wen C.: SORRY I FEEL SO BAD FOR LEAVING YOU

Me: thanks for doing this!!

Me: nooo its fine i could totally use this time to work on the essay! :)

Wen C.: sweet!

Wen C.: okay see you in an hour and a half! or possibly 2 hours depending on how long he takes!

Wen C.: love ya!

Wen C.: good luck!

Wen C.: sorry again!