Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 1 of 40
Revising Sentences for Order
Weak Endings Embedded Phrases Weak Sentence Openers Passive Voice
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 2 of 40
Understanding Emphasis
Therefore, the project manager hired six new engineers
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 3 of 40
Weak Endings
The information provided in the report suggesting the cause
of the crash was due to mechanical failure is not
persuasive for the most part.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 4 of 40
Weak Endings
For the most part, the information provided in the report
suggesting the cause of the crash was due to mechanical
failure is not persuasive.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 5 of 40
Weak Endings
An explanation of atmospheric stability and a detailed
evaluation of its application to this air quality evaluation is
contained in Appendix A.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 6 of 40
Weak Endings
Appendix A contains an explanation of atmospheric stability
and a detailed evaluation of its application to this air quality
evaluation.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 7 of 40
Weak Endings
The department had made a series of requests in their
letters of 15 February, 20 February, and 27 February 1999.
The departmental requests may be listed as follows:
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 8 of 40
Weak Endings
In their letters of 15, 20, and 27 February 1999, the
department made a series of requests:
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 9 of 40
Embedded Phrases
Engineers, because they inadvertently write in ways that,
all too often, use technical jargon, lengthy noun strings, and
the passive voice, have difficulty communicating with non-
specialists.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 10 of 40
Embedded Phrases
Because they inadvertently write in ways that often use
technical jargon, lengthy noun strings, and the passive
voice, engineers have difficulty communicating with non-
specialists.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 11 of 40
Embedded Phrases
This practice, while satisfying the client on whose project
we are working, leads to several of our other clients’ needs
not being met.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 12 of 40
Embedded Phrases
While satisfying the client on whose project we are working,
this practice leads to several of our other clients’ needs not
being met.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 13 of 40
Embedded Phrases
The bipolar junction transistor, a three terminal solid state
device, which is often referred to simply as "the transistor,"
is widely used in discrete circuits as well as in integrated
circuits, both analog and digital, since the device's
performance is remarkably predictable and quite insensitive
to variations in device parameters.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 14 of 40
Embedded Phrases
The bipolar junction transition is a three-terminal solid-state
device which is often referred to simply as "the transistor."
As its performance is remarkably predictable and quite
insensitive to variations in device parameters, this transistor
is widely used in discrete and integrated circuits, both
analog and digital.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 15 of 40
Embedded Phrases
For inversion cases, the dispersion models [Figure 3 and
Figure 4 were placed here] do not incorporate mixing height
into E and F stability (e.g., inversion) ambient air quality
predictions.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 16 of 40
Embedded Phrases
[Place Figure 3 and Figure 4 here] For inversion cases, the
dispersion models do not incorporate mixing height into E
and F stability (e.g., inversion) ambient air quality
predictions.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 17 of 40
Weak Sentence Openers
There are many aspects of the problem that have not yet
been considered.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 18 of 40
Weak Sentence Openers
Many aspects of the problem have not yet been
considered.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 19 of 40
Weak Sentence Openers
There are several problems that are caused by the slow
response.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 20 of 40
Weak Sentence Openers
Several problems are caused by the slow response.
Or better yet
The slow response causes several problems.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 21 of 40
Weak Sentence Openers
It is considered that implementation of a range of measures
should lead to a reduction of the emissions.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 22 of 40
Weak Sentence Openers
Implementation of a range of measures should lead to a
reduction of the emissions.
Or better yet
Implementing a range of measures should reduce
emissions.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 23 of 40
Weak Sentence Openers
It is clear that the kiln contributes to the problem.
It is probable that we should measure the wind
characteristics at the site.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 24 of 40
Weak Sentence Openers
Clearly, the kiln contributes to the problem.
Probably, we should measure the wind characteristics at
the site.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 25 of 40
Weak Sentence Openers
It is our understanding that the clarifier does not form a
direct part of the treatment system.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 26 of 40
Weak Sentence Openers
We understand that the clarifier does not form a direct part
of the treatment system.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 27 of 40
Weak Sentence Openers
There is a trust among peers and a growing trust with
management. This encourages open communication and
productivity.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 28 of 40
Weak Sentence Openers
The trust among peers and the growing trust with
management encourages open communication and
productivity.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 29 of 40
Weak Sentence Openers
It is true that there is now widespread acceptance that
there is a solid market for our company’s goods, but there
is now increased competition for our products.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 30 of 40
Weak Sentence Openers
People generally agree our company has a solid market for
its goods, but we also face more competition.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 31 of 40
Passive Voice
AGENT ACTION GOAL
ACTIVE: Some engineers design bridges.
PASSIVE: Bridges are designed by some engineers.
GOAL ACTION AGENT
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 32 of 40
Passive Voice
Uses of Passive Voice Abuses of Passive Voice
Changing the emphasis of a sentence Creating a false sense of objectivity
Omitting unknown or unneeded agents Using habitually
Avoiding blaming someone Avoiding responsibility
Communicating objectivity Obscuring meaning
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 33 of 40
Passive Voice
The terms of reference for this study have been provided
by the agency.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 34 of 40
Passive Voice
The agency has provided the terms of reference for this
study.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 35 of 40
Passive Voice
Therefore, the regional wind speed and direction patterns
are considered in this air quality evaluation.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 36 of 40
Passive Voice
Therefore, this air quality evaluation considers the regional
wind speed and direction patterns.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 37 of 40
Passive Voice
Kirchhoff’s Voltage Law was confirmed by directly
measuring the voltages in the circuit.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 38 of 40
Passive Voice
We confirmed Kirchhoff’s Voltage Law by directly
measuring the voltages in the circuit.
Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 39 of 40
Passive Voice
As part of the analysis of roadway improvements, the
review of signal progression along Cambie Street will be
required.