Children in Military Families
Supporting Children During Deployment in Military Families:
An Attachment Theory Perspective
Jane SlomskiSSS 804: Social Work With Children
November 23, 2009
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Children in Military Families
Introduction
Following the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, the lives of U.S. service
members and their families changed dramatically. Thousands were deployed to Iraq and
Afghanistan as the United States, along with its allies, waged the Global War on Terror
(GWOT) (Doyle & Petersen, 2005). Eight years later, Operation Iraqi Freedom (OIF) and
Operation Enduring Freedom (OEF) have become part of the most sustained wartime
effort on the part of the U.S. military since the Vietnam War (Doyle & Petersen, 2005).
Due to the extended nature of the mission, some U.S. service members, particularly
members of the Army, have served as many as four tours of duty in these volatile areas of
the world.
The face of the U.S. military is changing. Today, sixty percent of U.S. troops have
family responsibilities. This was not always the case. Historically, the military was made
up of single men, so there was little to no need to be concerned about families or children
(Drummet, Coleman, & Cable, 2003). With the transition to an all volunteer military, this
changed but was not immediately accompanied by a change in military policy
surrounding family life. For the most part, families were expected to adapt to military
norms and to the demands of the military lifestyle. In recent times, these norms and
demands have been met with increasing intolerance and dissatisfaction (Drummet,
Coleman, & Cable, 2003), necessitating a reevaluation of military policies, procedures,
and services to make the military more appealing and to maintain an adequate national
defense.
Repeated deployments and exposure to trauma have been taxing for our troops
and their families. The effects of pre-deployment, deployment, and post-deployment
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Children in Military Families
stressors on service members and their families is well documented and should be
understood by helping professionals who work with children who may be affected by the
deployment of a close friend or family member (Murray, 2002).
Children and caregivers in military families commonly report problematic
symptoms due to experiences of stress, anxiety, separation from family members, loss,
and grief. As a theory that directly addresses these issues, attachment theory (Bowlby,
1969) which focuses on the importance of children’s attachment to caregivers for
psychosocial well-being, is uniquely suited to aid the mental health professional in
understanding the etiology of these symptoms. Further, interventions informed by
attachment theory may be helpful in treating children who present with these issues in a
social work setting.
Stressors in Military Families and the Effects on Caregivers
Military families are a unique population. In addition to the day-to-day stressors
that affect all families, military families contend with specific stressors that are unique to
the military lifestyle including repeated relocations, frequent separation, deployment of
service members-sometimes to dangerous locations, reorganization of family life, and
risk of service member injury or death (Burrell, Adams, Durand, & Castro, 2006;
Drummet, Coleman, & Cable, 2003). Not surprisingly, fear for soldier safety is the most
commonly reported stressor of spouses in the military, particularly when the service
member is deployed to a combat zone (Cozza, Chun, & Polo, 2005).
It is logical to begin any discussion of the psychosocial well=being of children
with a discussion of the psychosocial well-being of the adults who care for them. Ryan-
Wenger (2002) notes that children whose parents are deployed generally exhibit sub-
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Children in Military Families
clinical levels of psychological distress. The bulk of the literature suggests that overall,
children in the military learn to cope and adapt to the stressors placed on them by the
military. During the deployment of their parents military youth have demonstrated
significant resiliency and the ability to adapt, have demonstrated greater maturity than
their civilian cohorts, are aware of the dangers surrounding deployment, and feel a strong
sense of sacrifice and patriotism (Lemmon & Chartrand, 2009). However, children’s
psycho-social well-being is mediated by levels of parental psychopathology at home. If
the caregiver in the home does not react well to the deployment of the service member
parent, experiencing anxiety, depression, or stress, the children may also experience
clinically significant levels of distress, anxiety and depression (Chartrand, Frank, White,
& Shope, 2008).
In a correlational study between military stressors and a number of factors related
to psychosocial well-being, Burrell, Adams, Durand, & Castro (2006) surveyed spouses
of service members and found that fear for soldier safety was negatively correlated with
psychological well-being, physical well-being and satisfaction with the army.
Interestingly, this study examined the impact of separations. They found that impact of
separations was the single variable out of all of the variables investigated that predicted
all of the four outcomes, namely satisfaction with army life, physical well-being,
psychological well-being, and marital satisfaction. Impact of separations refers to the
effect that the soldier’s deployment has on the family life cycle. If deployment causes
separation during important life events or holidays, the spouse is likely to report
decreased physical well-being, decreased psychological well-being, decreased marital
satisfaction, and decreased satisfaction with army life.
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Children in Military Families
Attachment and Separation
Attachment theory, first proposed by John Bowlby (1969) expands on the idea
that human beings rely on emotional and physical connections with other people in order
to be psychologically healthy. The attachment system is immediately active in newborns.
Infants seek food, warmth, and safety through proximity to attentive caregivers, and the
developing attachment system continues to be an important aspect of psychosocial
functioning throughout life (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007). A child’s first attachment
figures are usually their parents, and the primary attachment figure is usually the mother.
However, in the absence of a biological parent, an attachment bond may exist with a
significant person who spends quality time with and plays an important role in a child’s
life (Cassidy & Shaver, 1999).
Within the broad lens of attachment, there are several different attachment styles,
or patterns of relating between caregivers and children (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007).
Mary Ainsworth developed the Strange Situation Procedure to examine the effects of
separation from attachment figures on children. In the Strange Situation Procedure,
mothers and children are observed in a laboratory playroom. The mother leaves the room
for a short period of time and the child’s reactions to her leaving and returning are
observed. Based on her observations, she classified attachment into four basic categories:
secure, avoidant, anxious, and disorganized (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007).
In secure attachment, the child feels safe and secure with the attachment figure
and is comfortable turning to them in times of distress. They are comfortable exploring
the world with the knowledge that the attachment figure will be available for protection if
the external environment becomes stressful, dangerous or overwhelming (Mikulincer &
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Children in Military Families
Shaver, 2007). Upon separation from an attachment figure, the securely attached child
responds with crying and emotional distress, but is able to regain equilibrium and
continue exploring their environment. When the attachment figure returns, the child
greets the person with joy and proximity seeking behaviors, but quickly returns to
exploring the environment. The securely attached parent responds appropriately to the
child’s physical and emotional needs, providing the basic necessities of life when the
child is an infant and encouraging exploration as the child develops, always with the
understanding that they will be available if needed (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007).
Children with an avoidant attachment style seem to be somewhat uncomfortable getting
close to attachment figures. They do not trust easily, show little distress when separated
from an attachment figure and are uninterested when she returns (Mikulincer & Shaver,
2007). Avoidant caregivers are observed to be emotionally rigid and may become angry
or rejecting of their child’s bids for closeness. Anxiously attached children are extremely
distressed when separated from their attachment figures, but display conflicted or
ambivalent responses upon reunion. Anxiously attached caregivers do not give consistent
responses to their child’s proximity-seeking behaviors and the home environment is
characterized by a general lack of harmony (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007).
In disorganized attachment, children may switch rapidly from extreme distress
when separated from caregivers, to ambivalence. They might exhibit both proximity-
seeking behaviors and avoidant or ambivalent behaviors upon reunion. In some
situations, they may remain passive and not exhibit any outward signs of proximity
seeking. Caregivers of children with disorganized attachment are observed as
unpredictable and disorganized in their own behavior. They often “space out” when their
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Children in Military Families
child approaches them, or they may look frightened or confused. Researchers speculate
that adults with disorganized attachment styles most likely suffer from unresolved losses,
attachment injuries, or trauma (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007).
According to attachment theory, prolonged separation from these important
attachment figures, regardless of attachment style, causes marked psychological and
physical distress. The effects of separation from attachment figures on children’s well-
being has been the subject of much research and debate.
Deployment Separation & the Effects on Children
Prolonged separation from an attachment figure is one of the most stressful
events a child can experience, particularly when the caregiver (most often the
father) goes to war. Due to frequent relocations and deployment, children in
military families often experience separation from their parents and from their
communities, schools, and friends. If the deployed parent is a primary attachment
figure, children may exhibit various internalizing and externalizing behaviors
including fear, anxiety, aggression, and depression in response to the perceived loss
of the attachment figure (Cassidy & Shaver, 1999). Children experience and respond
to separation in different ways depending upon their developmental level.
Murray (2002) describes common age-specific reactions to separation.
Infants react to the emotions of their primary caregivers. If caregivers are stressed,
depressed, or anxious, infants may become inactive, unresponsive, hypervigilant, or
irritable. Spouses of deployed service members with children often report changes
in their infant’s behavior, including changes in eating habits, sleeping, and increased
crying. Toddlers who experience the deployment of a caregiver will often react with
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Children in Military Families
increased clinging, withdrawal, or depression. They may have difficulty sleeping and
may not want to associate with other children. Preschoolers may regress to earlier
developmental behaviors including bed wetting, fussing, crying for attention, and
increased aggression. Because they lack an understanding of cause and effect,
preschoolers may mistakenly believe that they caused the parent to leave and may
experience feelings of guilt as a result of this belief. Practitioners who work with this
age group should be aware that this belief may exist, as the child is unlikely to share
it with an adult (Murray, 2002).
Children who are 6-8 years old have a better understanding of cause and
effect, and may experience intense grief. Especially with a basic understanding of
terrorism, exposure to the media, and a basic understanding of the meaning of the
current war, children in this age group may fear for their own safety (especially if
they turned to the deployed soldier as a primary attachment figure for safety) and
fear that their caregivers will leave them. They may experience difficulty sleeping,
problems in school, and may show increased clinging behaviors (Murray, 2002).
9-12 year-olds may experience a whole range of emotions related to the
deployment of a parent. They can feel a compelling sense of loss and feel happy,
troubled, angry, or sad, all within a relatively short period of time. Boys in this age
group may feel a sense of responsibility for taking on the role of the deployed
parent, particularly if the father is deployed. Simultaneously, they may feel anger
toward the deployed parent and feel abandoned. These feelings may manifest in
increased aggression, antisocial behavior, or in increased involvement in extra-
curricular activities in an attempt to hide their emotions (Murray, 2002).
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Children in Military Families
The Effects of Deployment on Attachment Bonds
The Internet and modern technology have made it possible for deployed
troops to stay in contact with their families like never before. E-mail, instant
messaging, and web cams help to maintain the psychological presence of the soldier
in the home and in the minds of his/her family members. Nevertheless, attachment
bonds between parents and children and between spouses are tested by
deployment. Troops are often in areas of the world where Internet access is not
available. In some cases, the deployed parent may not be able to tell his/her family
where they are. (Huebner, Mancini, Bowen, & Orthner, 2009).
In addition, 40% of U.S. service members who are currently deployed have
children under the age of 5 (Chartrand, Frank, White, & Slope, 2008). Particularly in
the Army, where the average deployment cycle is 12-18 months, a soldier may leave
an infant and come back to a young child who does not remember or recognize
him/her (Allen & Staley, 2007). He/she has missed a year of the child’s life and of all
of the developmental milestones associated with that year. The parent must then
attempt to catch up, to reestablish a relationship, and to rebuild attachment bonds
that were disrupted by deployment. Children may experience fear, anger, and
sadness as a result of their attachment figure’s perceived unavailability due to
deployment and these emotions can become clinically significant if left untreated.
Depending upon the child’s age and the amount of contact during
deployment, a child will react differently to attempts by the parent to seek
closeness. If the soldier has sustained injuries, the child may be initially fearful or
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Children in Military Families
uncertain about how to approach their parent, which may impact how attachment
bonds are repaired (Doyle & Petersen, 2005).
Attachment Based Social Work Intervention
Military and civilian social workers are in an ideal position to help families
and children of deployed service members. Attachment theory directly address
concerns surrounding children and separation from caregivers and is therefore very
useful for intervening with children whose parent is deployed (Cassidy & Shaver,
1999). Children who have experienced deployment of a parent often experience
hyperactivation of the attachment system. The normal emotions that accompany
threats to an attachment figure’s availability: fear, anger, and sadness, can manifest
as pervasive depressive symptoms, anxiety disorders, aggression, disassociation,
and anti-social behavior (Cassidy & Shaver, 1999). Intervention for children who
present with behavioral or emotional problems related to the deployment of a
parent should focus on the strengthening of attachment bonds between children
and the caregiver at home, reassurance of safety and security, the maintenance of
the attachment bond between children and the deployed parent, and the
strengthening or repair of attachment bonds when the soldier returns home
(Cassidy & Shaver, 1999). Otherwise disruptions in secure attachment relationships
can lead to anxious feelings and anxious attachment (Cassidy & Shaver, 1999).
For very young children, play therapy may be the only appropriate modality
for attachment-based treatment. The clinician should be aware of the presence of
themes in children’s play including war, violence, separation, control, and death that
may signify underlying attachment issues. For older children, more direct
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Children in Military Families
conversations about fear, sadness and anger related to deployment and war can be
helpful. Children should be encouraged to express their emotions related to
deployment (Lemmon & Chartrand, 2009). In addition, clinicians can work with
parents to promote healthy attachment to caregivers in the home and on
deployment. Parents should be encouraged to listen to their children about their
feelings regarding war and deployment. Whenever possible, the family should
maintain regular contact with the soldier. Regular and predictable contact can be a
great protective factor for the attachment relationship, but may not always be a
realistic possibility given the location of the soldier and the mobility of the soldier’s
unit (Drummet, Coleman, & Cable, 2003).
Rituals are another concrete way to strengthen attachment bonds between
parents and children while a parent is deployed. Often when a parent goes to war,
family responsibilities are rearranged and family schedules become unpredictable
and erratic (Drummet, Coleman, & Cable, 2003). A way to alleviate stress of
deployment on the family, and to strengthen attachment bonds, is to engage in
meaningful rituals that are concrete and predictable (B. Bailey, personal
communication, October 23, 2009). Possibilities include bedtime rituals, morning
rituals, and rituals surrounding talking to the deployed parent while the parent is
away. The deployed parent might always begin the conversation the same way
when talking on the phone, or the caregiving parent might always read the same
story before bedtime. Rituals add predictability and stability to the home
environment, build attachment bonds, and can be continued when the deployed
parent returns (B. Bailey, personal communication, October 23, 2009).
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Children in Military Families
Implications
Mental health treatment in the military is still an evolving field. As more
soldiers return from Afghanistan and Iraq, more of the American community is
taking notice of the needs of military families and their children. Many veterans are
being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and it is estimated that
many others live with subclinical symptoms of the disorder (Drummet, Coleman, &
Cable, 2003). Veterans living with untreated mental illness have more difficulty
integrating back into family and civilian life. Because children’s symptomology is
inextricably linked to parents’ psychopathology, children may begin to exhibit
behavioral and emotional symptoms that are indicative of family issues (Doyle &
Peterson, 2005).
The military has come a long way in its treatment of soldiers’ families and
children. More services are available in the military community and there is less of a
stigma attached to the seeking of behavioral health and counseling services (J.
Patrick CW2, U.S. Army, personal communication, September 28, 2009). As
children’s psychopathology is linked to parental psychopathology, it is imperative
that military and civilian social workers encourage soldiers to get mental health
treatment when needed.
Limitations
Attachment theory is informed by relational and psychodynamic theories
and so may not adequately address the impact of environmental aspects on the
child’s behavior. In situations in which a child’s maladaptive behaviors are severe
enough to warrant intervention, the clinician would benefit from examining the case
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Children in Military Families
through a behavioral lens. Behavioral interventions including the setting of
behavioral limits, and a more structured environment may help children to cope
with deployment of a parent.
In addition to attachment theory and behavioral theory, clinicians would
benefit from examining the family from a family systems perspective. Examine the
micro and macro systems surrounding the family unit, as well as the boundaries
between systems. Is the family an open or closed system? Are they willing to go to
the community for support? Has deployment placed undue financial strain on the
family? Are adult members of the family currently suffering from mental illness? Are
there co-occurring stressors such as the birth, death or illness of a family member
that might make the deployment particularly difficult?
The unique advantage of the social work profession is the ability to examine
the family from the person-in-environment perspective. Other important variables
that might affect the well-being of the deployed family member or of the family itself
include availability of social supports and community connectedness. If the family
has just relocated, they may not be familiar with the surrounding area and resources
and will be far away from supportive friends and family members. If the children
have just started at a new school, academic performance and social adjustment may
be negatively affected not only by the deployment, but by the move itself. For these
reasons a social worker should not limit examination of a case to a single theory
base. Attachment theory may only address part of the problem in psychosocial
functioning experienced by the family and the soldier.
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Children in Military Families
As the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan continue and more soldiers are returning
home to their families, military and civilian social workers and other mental health
professionals will be increasingly called upon to provide their services to a growing
number of military and civilian personnel. It is therefore imperative that social work
practitioners advocate effectively and implements successful treatment models for
military families and children.
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Children in Military Families
References
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military deployment. Retrieved from
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Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and loss. Basic Books.
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Cassidy, J. & Shaver, P.R. (Eds.).(1999). Handbook of attachment: Theory, research,
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