220179206 D G Tharindu (HSNS264) Assignment-Part A.pdf
by Tharindu Dushyantha Dewalegama Gamacharige
Submission date: 23-Apr-2018 01:32PM (UTC+1000)Submission ID: 951642479File name:140127_Tharindu_Dushyantha_Dewalegama_Gamacharige_220179206_D_G_Tharindu__HSNS_264__Assign.pdfWord count: 1711Character count: 9806
Paper Reviewed by Dr Z Smith U/C
Reference needed
Reference needed
Reference needed
Reference needed
Good
Reference needed
Reference needed Poorly worded
Conjunct ionJoin sentences
Reference needed
Reference needed
Join sentences
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Join sentences
Author
Join sentences
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Author
--------, this
Author
Reference needed
Author
1
Unnecessary informat ion
Dif ferent Font
Reference St ructure Protocols
18%SIMILARITY INDEX
9%INTERNET SOURCES
6%PUBLICATIONS
16%STUDENT PAPERS
1 6%
2 3%
3 2%
4 2%
5 1%
6 1%
7 1%
8 1%
9 1%
220179206 D G Tharindu (HSNS 264) Assignment-Part A.pdfORIGINALITY REPORT
PRIMARY SOURCES
Submitted to University of New EnglandStudent Paper
Submitted to Australian Catholic UniversityStudent Paper
Submitted to Bridgepoint EducationStudent Paper
"Allergy and Asthma", Springer Nature, 2016Publicat ion
www.tandfonline.comInternet Source
Submitted to Flinders UniversityStudent Paper
Submitted to University of Western SydneyStudent Paper
Submitted to McMaster UniversityStudent Paper
Submitted to Kaplan UniversityStudent Paper
www.cen.ulaval.ca
10 1%
Exclude quotes Of f
Exclude bibliography Of f
Exclude matches Of f
Internet Source
QM
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FINAL GRADE
21/25
220179206 D G Tharindu (HSNS 264) Assignment-Part A.pdfGRADEMARK REPORT
GENERAL COMMENTS
InstructorD G Tharindu
You have covered most of the pathophysiology ofasthma and Zach's signs and symptoms.Unf ortunately, some of your inf ormation was toogeneral and some areas need more specif ic detail.
There are a f ew structural issues throughout yourassignment, and there were some problems withyour ref erencing.
Please ref er to the notes and quickmarks in yourassignment.
Overall well done.Debra
PAGE 1
Paper Reviewed by Dr Z Smith U/C
Paper Reviewed by Dr Z Smith U/C
PAGE 2
Reference neededWhenever you are making a statement about something, such as the one here, you need toref erence it. You need to make sure that the reader understands how you know thisinf ormation.
Reference neededWhenever you are making a statement about something, such as the one here, you need toref erence it. You need to make sure that the reader understands how you know thisinf ormation.
Reference neededWhenever you are making a statement about something, such as the one here, you need toref erence it. You need to make sure that the reader understands how you know thisinf ormation.
Reference needed
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Whenever you are making a statement about something, such as the one here, you need toref erence it. You need to make sure that the reader understands how you know thisinf ormation.
GoodGood inf ormation.
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Reference neededWhenever you are making a statement about something, such as the one here, you need toref erence it. You need to make sure that the reader understands how you know thisinf ormation.
Reference neededWhenever you are making a statement about something, such as the one here, you need toref erence it. You need to make sure that the reader understands how you know thisinf ormation.
Poorly wordedThis is poorly worded and a litt le bit hard to understand, it would be better if it was slightlyreworded.
ConjunctionDo not start sentences with conjunctions ie. words such as but, because, and, f or, yet, so, or.
Join sentencesThese sentences should be joined, and made into one sentence.
Reference neededWhenever you are making a statement about something, such as the one here, you need toref erence it. You need to make sure that the reader understands how you know thisinf ormation.
Reference neededWhenever you are making a statement about something, such as the one here, you need toref erence it. You need to make sure that the reader understands how you know thisinf ormation.
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Join sentencesThese sentences should be joined, and made into one sentence.
Reference neededWhenever you are making a statement about something, such as the one here, you need toref erence it. You need to make sure that the reader understands how you know this
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inf ormation.
Join sentencesThese sentences should be joined, and made into one sentence.
AuthorYou need to ref erence the author not the tit le.
Join sentencesThese sentences should be joined, and made into one sentence.
Reference neededWhenever you are making a statement about something, such as the one here, you need toref erence it. You need to make sure that the reader understands how you know thisinf ormation.
AuthorYou need to ref erence the author not the tit le.
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Text Comment. - - - - ----
Text Comment. , this
AuthorYou need to ref erence the author not the tit le.
Reference neededWhenever you are making a statement about something, such as the one here, you need toref erence it. You need to make sure that the reader understands how you know thisinf ormation.
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AuthorYou need to ref erence the author not the tit le.
Comment 1Why is this in capitals?
Unnecessary informationThe inf ormation contained here is unnecessary. As you have limited words it is important toalways try to f ocus on what inf ormation is the most relevant. Preservation of word count tomaximise the strength of your assignment can sometimes be crucial.
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Dif ferent FontWhy is this in a dif f erent f ont/colour. This tends to happen when you copy and paste. Makesure that everything is in the same f ont and colour prior to submitt ing to maintain consistency.
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Reference Structure ProtocolsRef erences should always f ollow a standard structure of :
Author. (Year). T it le, Source.
Books need to have the Town, Country: Publisher at the end of the ref erence.
Journal articles should include the name of the journal article, issue, volume, pages and doi.
Websites need the f ull URL, not just the homepage.
If you are cit ing a website and there is no author then the website becomes the author.If there is no year f or when the website was updated then you should use the year that youaccessed the website.
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RUBRIC: HSNS264_T12018A3A
CRITERIA 1 (40%)
HD(100)
HD(95)
HD(85)
D(80)
D(75)
C(70)
C(65)
P(60)
P(55)
P(50)
N(45)
N(40)
N(35)
CRITERIA 2 (40%)
HD(100)
HD
82 / 100
85 / 100
Content and f ocus\nDemonstrates an understanding of Asthma pathophysiology
Discussion successf ully demonstrates supported and substantial arguments andideas;<br />Paper thoroughly reviews and integrates current and relevant literature
Discussion successf ully demonstrates supported and substantial arguments andideas;<br />Paper thoroughly reviews and integrates current and relevant literature
Discussion successf ully demonstrates supported and substantial arguments andideas;<br />Paper thoroughly reviews and integrates current and relevant literature
Discussion demonstrates supported and substantial arguments and ideas with onlyminor digressions;<br />Paper suf f iciently reviews and integrates current and relevantliterature
Discussion demonstrates supported and substantial arguments and ideas with onlyminor digressions;<br />Paper suf f iciently reviews and integrates current and relevantliterature
Discussion demonstrates supported and substantial arguments and ideas with somedigression;<br />Paper reviews and integrates current and relevant literature
Discussion demonstrates supported and substantial arguments and ideas with somedigression;<br />Paper reviews and integrates current and relevant literature
Discussion has limited demonstrated support and substantial arguments and ideas;<br />Paper has limited review and integration of current and relevant literature
Discussion has limited demonstrated support and substantial arguments and ideas;<br />Paper has limited review and integration of current and relevant literature
Discussion has limited demonstrated support and substantial arguments and ideas;<br />Paper has limited review and integration of current and relevant literature
Discussion lacks demonstrated support and substantial arguments and ideas; <br/>Paper lacks review and integration of current and relevant literature
Discussion lacks demonstrated support and substantial arguments and ideas; <br/>Paper lacks review and integration of current and relevant literature
Discussion lacks demonstrated support and substantial arguments and ideas; <br/>Paper lacks review and integration of current and relevant literature
85 / 100
Analysis and crit ical thinking
Succinctly and consistently exhibits higher- order crit ical thinking and analysis<br /><br />Research and Evaluation<br /><br />Synthesis and analysis<br /><br/>Application<br /><br />Comprehension<br /><br />Knowledge
Succinctly and consistently exhibits higher- order crit ical thinking and analysis<br />
(95)
HD(85)
D(80)
D(75)
C(70)
C(65)
P(60)
P(55)
P(50)
N(45)
N(40)
N(35)
CRITERIA 3 (10%)
HD(100)
HD(95)
HD(85)
D(80)
<br />Research and Evaluation<br /><br />Synthesis and analysis<br /><br/>Application<br /><br />Comprehension<br /><br />Knowledge
Succinctly and consistently exhibits higher- order crit ical thinking and analysis<br /><br />Research and Evaluation<br /><br />Synthesis and analysis<br /><br/>Application<br /><br />Comprehension<br /><br />Knowledge
Exhibits strong higher-order crit ical thinking and analysis<br /><br />Synthesis andanalysis<br /><br />Application<br /><br />Comprehension<br /><br />Knowledge
Exhibits strong higher-order crit ical thinking and analysis<br /><br />Synthesis andanalysis<br /><br />Application<br /><br />Comprehension<br /><br />Knowledge
Generally, exhibits limited higher-order crit ical thinking and analysis <br /><br/>Application<br /><br />Comprehension<br /><br />Knowledge
Generally, exhibits limited higher-order crit ical thinking and analysis <br /><br/>Application<br /><br />Comprehension<br /><br />Knowledge
Exhibits simplistic or reductive thinking and analysis <br /><br />Comprehension<br /><br />Knowledge
Exhibits simplistic or reductive thinking and analysis <br /><br />Comprehension<br /><br />Knowledge
Exhibits simplistic or reductive thinking and analysis <br /><br />Comprehension<br /><br />Knowledge
Minimal simplistic or reductive thinking and analysis <br /><br />Knowledge
Minimal simplistic or reductive thinking and analysis <br /><br />Knowledge
Minimal simplistic or reductive thinking and analysis <br /><br />Knowledge
70 / 100
Follows requirements f or structure, presentation\ngrammar and spelling.
Accurately and consistently adheres to essay f ormat writ ing conventions,grammatical conventions with no errors and is a logical / well and succinctly structuredassignment
Accurately and consistently adheres to essay f ormat writ ing conventions,grammatical conventions with no errors and is a logical / well and succinctly structuredassignment
Accurately and consistently adheres to essay f ormat writ ing conventions,grammatical conventions with no errors and is a logical / well and succinctly structuredassignment
Mostly accurate and consistent adherence to essay f ormat writ ing conventions,adheres to grammatical conventions with f ew errors and is a logical and well-
D(75)
C(70)
C(65)
P(60)
P(55)
P(50)
N(45)
N(40)
N(35)
CRITERIA 4 (10%)
HD(100)
HD(95)
HD(85)
D
structured assignment
Mostly accurate and consistent adherence to essay f ormat writ ing conventions,adheres to grammatical conventions with f ew errors and is a logical and well-structured assignment
Partial but close adherence to essay f ormat writ ing conventions, adheres togrammatical conventions, but with f requent errors, mainly a well- structuredassignment, lacking cohesion in places
Partial but close adherence to essay f ormat writ ing conventions, adheres togrammatical conventions, but with f requent errors, mainly a well- structuredassignment, lacking cohesion in places
Minimal adherence to essay f ormat writ ing conventions, minimal adherence togrammatical conventions with multiple errors, a weakly structured assignment,f requently lacking cohesion
Minimal adherence to essay f ormat writ ing conventions, minimal adherence togrammatical conventions with multiple errors, a weakly structured assignment,f requently lacking cohesion
Minimal adherence to essay f ormat writ ing conventions, minimal adherence togrammatical conventions with multiple errors, a weakly structured assignment,f requently lacking cohesion
Litt le attempt to adhere to essay f ormat writ ing conventions, multiple grammaticalerrors with minimal attention to writ ing / spelling conventions that signif icantly distractthe reader f rom the content. A poorly structured assignment, lacking cohesion
Litt le attempt to adhere to essay f ormat writ ing conventions, multiple grammaticalerrors with minimal attention to writ ing / spelling conventions that signif icantly distractthe reader f rom the content. A poorly structured assignment, lacking cohesion
Litt le attempt to adhere to essay f ormat writ ing conventions, multiple grammaticalerrors with minimal attention to writ ing / spelling conventions that signif icantly distractthe reader f rom the content. A poorly structured assignment, lacking cohesion
70 / 100
Follows requirements f or ref erencing (APA 6th Edition) and the application of evidence
Accurately and consistently adheres to APA ref erencing conventions f or the in- textand ref erence list<br /><br />Explicit ly acknowledges all sources used throughout theassignment
Accurately and consistently adheres to APA ref erencing conventions f or the in- textand ref erence list<br /><br />Explicit ly acknowledges all sources used throughout theassignment
Accurately and consistently adheres to APA ref erencing conventions f or the in- textand ref erence list<br /><br />Explicit ly acknowledges all sources used throughout theassignment
Mostly of f ers accurate and consistent APA ref erencing conventions f or the in- text
(80)
D(75)
C(70)
C(65)
P(60)
P(55)
P(50)
N(45)
N(40)
N(35)
and ref erence list<br /><br />Principally acknowledges sources used throughout theassignment
Mostly of f ers accurate and consistent APA ref erencing conventions f or the in- textand ref erence list<br /><br />Principally acknowledges sources used throughout theassignment
A number of inaccurate and inconsistent APA ref erences in the in- text and ref erencelist<br /><br />Mostly acknowledges sources used throughout the assignment
A number of inaccurate and inconsistent APA ref erences in the in- text and ref erencelist<br /><br />Mostly acknowledges sources used throughout the assignment
Multiple inaccurate and inconsistent APA ref erences in the in- text and ref erencelist<br /><br />Minimal acknowledgment of sources used throughout the assignment
Multiple inaccurate and inconsistent APA ref erences in the in- text and ref erencelist<br /><br />Minimal acknowledgment of sources used throughout the assignment
Multiple inaccurate and inconsistent APA ref erences in the in- text and ref erencelist<br /><br />Minimal acknowledgment of sources used throughout the assignment
Did not adhere to the APA ref erencing conventions and/or made catastrophic,multiple and consistent APA errors throughout<br /><br />Litt le or no acknowledgmentof sources used throughout the assignment
Did not adhere to the APA ref erencing conventions and/or made catastrophic,multiple and consistent APA errors throughout<br /><br />Litt le or no acknowledgmentof sources used throughout the assignment
Did not adhere to the APA ref erencing conventions and/or made catastrophic,multiple and consistent APA errors throughout<br /><br />Litt le or no acknowledgmentof sources used throughout the assignment