Models for understanding people
Know your Client.
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Agenda
Models are an abstraction or simplification of reality.
A few related and useful features are isolated so they can be discussed.
Therefore no model is complete.
A model is useful because it is simpler than reality.
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Models assist us to find effective alternatives.
2 differences between humans and low life:
1An appreciation of humour.2Ability to choose an appropriate response for a
given stimulus.
We are most effective as human beings if:
3We have many alternative responses to choose from
4We have them organized so we can figure out how to respond quickly
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One dimension of people is Starters vs. Finishers.
Startersƒ Differences
–Rough plans–Starts a lot–Finishes little–Gets excited easily
ƒ Agreements–Goals
Finishersƒ Differences
–Detail plans–Starts Little–Finishes what he starts–Gets excited rarely and only when he can see the end
ƒ Agreements–GoalsOften complement each other when they work
on the same team!
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One dimension of people is Introverts vs. Extroverts.
Introvertsƒ Loose energy in
front of peopleƒ Need time alone
to recharge - to analyze the situation alone and figure out what to say
Extrovertsƒ Gain energy in
front of peopleƒ Loose energy
when left alone too much - likes to think in front of others
Often complement each other when they work on the same team!
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Mouton and Wook Managerial Effectiveness
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Concern for the Relation
Concern for the Result1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
(1,9)
(9,1)
(9,9)
Watch for the backup style and the shift.
(1,1)
(5,5)
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Our style determines how we act.
Tells
Asks
Controls
Emotes
DriverLess responsiveMore assertive
AmiableMore responsiveLess assertive
ExpressiveMore responsiveMore assertive
AnalyticLess responsiveLess assertive
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Corners have trouble with each other.
Tells
Asks
Controls
Emotes
DriverLess responsiveMore assertive
AmiableMore responsiveLess assertive
ExpressiveMore responsiveMore assertive
AnalyticLess responsiveLess assertive
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Styles on the same side can work together easily.
Tells
Asks
Controls
Emotes
DriverLess responsiveMore assertive
AmiableMore responsiveLess assertive
ExpressiveMore responsiveMore assertive
AnalyticLess responsiveLess assertive
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Each style is comfortable with different communication
Tells
Asks
Controls
Emotes
DriverModels, facts, focusSpecific decisionsGives ordersTakes riskConfident
AmiableFeelingsYour feelingsColoursNeeds to share feelingsDependent, unsure, slow
Avoids risk
ExpressiveMapsModelsGraphsPicturesGeneral directionsTells stories
AnalyticFactsListsHard workingPuts off decisionsDeliberate
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Each style is reacts differently to stress.
Tells
Asks
Controls
Emotes
DriverFightGo it alone if neededLead a group
AmiableRetreatFind a group for support
ExpressiveFightTell the gang
AnalyticRetreatAlone
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Clients who are in the "Cost cutting" or "Slash and burn"
mentality are not likely to buy.
Rate of Growth
Willingness to Change
New ProcessesNo New Processes
Shrinking
Growth Has Money to
SpendIn a HurryWill Re-engineer
Cut costCost cutting not
permanentWon't buySlash and burn
Re-engineerReduce Work
Buys more of the same
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It helps if he likes us and is open to change.
Openness to change
Degree of preference for us
Likes usDislikes us
Closed
Open Focus on objectivesWill implementLikes team solutionSkills and mentoringDoesn't mind biasProfessionalism
Price sensitiveArrogantExpert skillsExpects humilityProfessionalism
Wants to tell PriceSolution
Specific skills & leadership
Professionalism
ListensSkillsSkill transferPrice sensitive
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The "Four Buyer Model" assists us to identify buyers and their different
information needs
EconomicSays yesSets targetsNeeds results (ROI, pay
back)
TechnicalCan say noNeeds technical dataSelects short list
CoachTells howWants us to winLikes influence
UserPerson whose life is most
changed by the implementation of the recommendation
Says what is needed to achieve targets
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Win - Result analysis of prospects and clients will improve our
marketing and selling productivity
Openness to change
Degree of preference for us
Likes usDislikes us
Closed
Open
Win - WinObjectivesWill implementTeam solution
Win - LosePrice sensitiveArrogant
Wants to tell PriceSolution
ResultsListens
Each buyer perceives winning differently
EconomicROI, ProfitCustomer satisfactionFlexibilityPositioned for growthSeen as a leader
CoachRecognitionMakes a differenceVisibilityGets strokesSeen as a problem solver
TechnicalBest technical solution
Price and termsReliabilityTimely ServiceFocuses on alternatives
User Super serviceFaster, better, easierMeet customer expectation
Easy to learn and use
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The culture of a company passes through 4 Phases
Phase 1Customer orientedEntrepreneurialAsk, listen, help
Phase 4Administrative oriented,
rulesKeep lots of recordsSet targets and punish
Phase 3Process orientedAutomate
Phase 2Product orientedTell Start
over
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Cybernetics says we work with visual, auditory and feeling models.
VisualI see....It looks like....Hands up for the vision
AuditoryI hear....It sounds to me....Touch mouth or ear
Feeling (Kinesetic)I feel ....It feels like....Hands near belt, some times hunched
Resonate with your client!
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The rapport model builds on the cybernetics model.
Rapport is getting in sync. or giving sympathetic feed back:
Cybernetic - use same communication mode–Visual–Auditory–Kinesetic
Same rhythmMirroring - use same body languageUse compatible style for communication:
–Facts for the analytics–Maps and general directions for the expressives–Specific recommendations for the drivers–Reduce risk and get everybody to like it for the amiables
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Nobles tell the truth.Socratics explain.
Reflectives worry about the relationship.
Noble
Socratic
Reflective
Senator
Magistrate
Candidate
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Noble"But its the Truth"
Socratic
Wants to teach. Wants to learn so they can teach.
Reflective
Give you what you want to hear. Thinks this is good for the relationship. Doesn't want projects (relationships) to end.
SenatorFlips between Noble and Reflective. Scares people because they don't know which to expect.
Magistrate
Wants a platform to expound on "The Truth"
Candidate
Running for office.
Understanding your client makes you more effective.
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Maximize what you know by sharing.
I know.You know.
I know.You don't know
I don't know.You don't know.
I don't know.You know.
IKnow Don't Know
You Don't Know Know
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We are most effective when we know a lot.
ArenaArena
FacadeFacade UnknownUnknown
Blind SpotBlind Spot
IKnow Don't Know
You Don't Know Know
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We are most effective where we both know stuff.
FacadeFacade UnknownUnknown
Blind SpotBlind Spot
IKnow Don't Know
You Don't Know Know
ArenaArena
EffectiveEffective
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Sharing can increase what you know and make us both more
effective.
Arena
Facade Unknown
Blind Spot
IKnow Don't Know
You Don't Know Know
SharingSharing
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Listening can increase what I know and make us both more effective.
Arena
Facade Unknown
Blind Spot
IKnow Don't Know
You Don't Know Know
ListenListen
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We are more effective when we share and listen. We decrease danger and discover opportunities
when we share and listen.
FacadeFacade UnknownUnknown
Blind SpotBlind Spot
IKnow Don't Know
You Don't Know Know
ArenaArena
DangerDangerOpportunityOpportunity
EffectiveEffective
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Excellence achieves commitment through respect for each persons opinion and
ability to contribute to the goal.
Survival
Harmony
Control
Status Quo
Excellence
In Excellence the objective is paramount!
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In Excellence cultures the first question is "What is the objective?"
SurvivalHide. Don't be noticed.
HarmonyLets be nice to each other.
ControlWhat does the boss say?
Status QuoWe don't do it that way.
Excellence
What is the objective?
In Excellence the objective is paramount!
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SEE VISIONS:
ƒ they picture what we ultimately choose to achieve.Have MISSIONS:
ƒ they tell us what business we are in. PURSUE GOALS:
ƒ they tell us what results we choose to achieve.ACCOMPLISHES OBJECTIVES:
ƒ they tell us how (actions and results) we plan to get where we choose to go.
Vision, Mission, Goal
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There are several kinds of power.
ƒ Objectiveƒ Charismaƒ Resistanceƒ Persuasionƒ Concentrationƒ Purismƒ Prestigeƒ Ambitionƒ Positionƒ Knowledgeƒ Reputationƒ Respect
ƒ Coercionƒ Fearƒ Loveƒ Lustƒ Debtƒ Compassionƒ Guiltƒ Envyƒ Moneyƒ Skillƒ Caring, doing,
actionƒ Faith - freedom to
act
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Legitimate PowerYou can do anything worth doing with these 5 powers.
ƒ The objective
ƒ Knowledge
ƒ Respect
ƒ Caring (Doing, acting)
ƒ Faith (Empowerment, Freedom)
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Understanding the three personality state model can help us treat ourselves and our
clients more effectively.
Parent
Child
Adult
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As we grow so does our ability to shape our growth.
Cellular birth - Conception
Physical birth - StrokingPsychological birth - Stroking
Social birth - School
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Conflicts in our mind can lead to poor action or no action.
Parent
Child
Adult
Taught
Felt
Thought Reality
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Reality and thought are necessary for personal
growth.
Parent
Child
Adult
Taught
Felt
Thought Reality
Archaic
Archaic
New data / testing
Decisions / EstimatingThinking
Updated data
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Parent
Child
Adult
Parent
Child
Adult
The goal of transactional analysis is freedom of choice.
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Parent
Child
Adult
Parent
Child
Adult
Complimentary transactions can go on forever but may not be
productive.
Parent
Child
Adult
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Adult
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Parent
Child
Adult
Parent
Child
Adult
Crossed transactions stop or start wars.
Parent
Child
Adult
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Adult
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Parent
Child
Adult
Judgment is impaired if adult is not in control.
Parent contamination Prejudice
Child Contamination Delusion
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A decommissioned personality is a form of illness.
Parent
Child
Adult
Parent
Child
Adult
Parent
Child
Adult
No childNo fun
No parentNo conscience
No adultNo judgment
Psychotic
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Games people play
Why don't you -------? Yes but --------A - A ---> C - P
Small talk ( P-P, A-A, C-C)GM, Who one, Grocery, Kitchen, Wardrobe,Ever bee too, How much, What became of,Morning after, I know a better,
Gee ain't it awful (P-P)Impossible alternativesTwo level game (P-P or A-A covering C-C)
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Success is Success is continual progress continual progress toward predetermined toward predetermined personal goals.personal goals.
Success is no accident.