Contents
TitlePage
I:TheBet
II:Digging
III:TrainingCamp
IV:TheFirstWorm
V:TheGatheringStorm
VI:TheSecondWorm
VII:RedCrashHelmetsandWhiteJumpSuits
VIII:TheThirdWorm
IX:ThePlotters
X:TheFourthWorm
XI:Tom
XII:TheFifthWorm
XIII:NothingtoWorryAbout
XIV:ThePainandtheBloodandtheGore
XV:3:15A.M.
XVI:TheSixthWorm
XVII:TheSeventhWorm
XVIII:TheEighthWorm
XIX:TheNinthWorm
XX:Billy’sMother
XXI:TheTenthWorm
XXII:TheEleventhWorm
XXIII:AdmiralsNagumoandKusakaontheBridgeoftheAkaiga,December
6,1941
XXIV:TheTwelfthWorm
XXV:PearlHarbor
XXVI:Guadalcanal
XXVII:TheThirteenthWorm
XXVIII:Hello,We’re….
XXIX
XXX:ThePeaceTreaty
XXXI:TheLetter
XXXII:Croak
XXXIII:TheFourteenthWorm
XXXIV:TheFifteenth….
XXXV:Burp
XXXVI:TheFifteenthWo….
XXXVII:OutoftheFryingPanintotheOven
XXXVIII:$%//!?Blip*/&!
XXXIX:TheUnitedStatesCavalryRidesovertheHilltop
XL:TheFifteenthWorm
XLI:Epilogue
AbouttheAuthors
Copyright
OceanofPDF.com
I
TheBet
HEY,Tom!Wherewereyoulastnight?”“Yeah,youmissedit.”AlanandBillycameupthefrontwalk.Tomwassittingonhisporch
steps,bouncingatennisball.“OldManTatorcaughtJoeaswewereclimbingthroughthefence,sowe
allhadtogoback,andhemadeuspilethepeachesonhiskitchentable,andthenhecalledourmothers.”
“Joe’smotherhasn’tlethimoutyet.”“Wherewereyou?”Tomstoppedbouncingthetennisball.Hewasatall,skinnyboywhotook
histroublesveryseriously.“Mymotherkeptmein.”“Whatfor?”“Iwouldn’teatmydinner.”AlansatdownonthestepbelowTomandbegantochewhisthumbnail.“Whatwasit?”“Salmoncasserole.”Billyfloppeddownonthegrass,chunky,snubnosed,freckled.“Salmoncasserole’snotsobad.”“Wouldn’tsheletyoujusteattwobites?”askedAlan.“Sometimesmy
mothersays,well,allright,ifI’lljusteattwobites.”“Iwouldn’teatevenone.”“That’sstupid,”saidBilly.“Onebitecan’thurtyou.I’deatonebiteof
anythingbeforeI’dletthemsendmeuptomyroomrightaftersupper.”Tomshrugged.“Howaboutmud?”AlanaskedBilly.“Youwouldn’teatabiteofmud.”Alanarguedalot,small,knobby-kneed,nervous,gnawingathis
thumbnail,hisfacesmudged,hisredhairmussed,shirttailhangingout,shoelacesuntied.
“Sure,Iwould,”Billysaid.“Mud.What’smud?Justdirtwithalittlewaterinit.Myfathersayseveryoneeatsapoundofdirteveryyearanyway.”
“Howaboutpoison?”“That’sdifferent.”Billyrolledoveronhisback.“Isyourmothergoingtomakeyoueattheleftoverstodayatlunch?”he
askedTom.“Sheneverhasbefore.”“Howaboutworms?”AlanaskedBilly.Tom’ssister’scatsquirmedoutfromundertheporchandrubbedagainst
Billy’sknee.“Sure,”saidBilly.“Whynot?Wormsarejustdirt.”“Yeah,buttheybleed.”“Soyou’dhavetocookthem.Cowsbleed.”“Ibetahundreddollarsyouwouldn’treallyeataworm.Youtalkbig
now.butyouwouldn’tifyouweresittingatthedinnertablewithawormonyourplate.”
“IbetIwould.I’deatfifteenwormsifsomebody’dbetmeahundreddollars.”
“Youreallywanttobet?I’llbetyoufiftydollarsyoucan’teatfifteenworms.Ireallywill.”
“Where’reyougoingtogetfiftydollars?”“Inmysavingsaccount.I’vegotonehundredandthirtydollarsand
seventy-ninecentsinmysavingsaccount.Iknow,becauselastweekIputinthefivedollarsmygrandmothergavemeformybirthday.”
“Yourmotherwouldn’tletyoutakeitout.”“ShewouldifIlostthebet.She’dhaveto.I’dtellherIwasgoingtosell
mystampcollectionotherwise.AndIboughtthatwithallmyownmoneythatIearnedmowinglawns,soIcandowhateverIwantwithit.I’llbetyoufiftydollarsyoucan’teatfifteenworms.Comeon.You’rechicken.Youknowyoucan’tdoit.”
“Iwouldn’tdoit,”saidTom.“Ifsalmoncasserolemakesmesick,thinkwhatfifteenwormswoulddo.”
JoecamescuffingupthewalkandfloppeddownbesideBilly.Hewasa
smallboy,withdarkhairandalongnoseandbigbrowneyes.“What’sgoingon?”“Comeon,”saidAlantoBilly.“TomcanbeyoursecondandJoe’llbe
mine,justlikeinaduel.Youthinkit’ssoeasy—here’syourchancetomakefiftybucks.”
Billydangledaleafinfrontofthecat,butthecatjustrubbedagainsthisknee,purring.
“Whatkindofworms?”“Regularworms.”“Notthosebiggreenonesthatgetonthetomatoes.Iwon’teatthose.And
Iwon’teatthemallatonce.Itmightmakemesick.Onewormadayforfifteendays.”
“Andhecaneatthemanywayhewants,”saidTom.“Boiled,stewed,fried,fricasseed.”
“Yeah,butweprovidetheworms,”saidJoe.“Andtherehavetobewitnessedpresentwhenheeatsthem;eithermeorAlanorsomebodywecantrust.NotjustyouandBilly.”
“Okay?”AlansaidtoBilly.Billyscratchedthecat’sears.Fiftydollars.Thatwasalotofmoney.How
badcouldawormtaste?He’deatenfriedliver,salmonloaf,mushrooms,tongue,pig’sfeet.Otherkids’parentswerealwaysnaggingthemtoeat,eat;hishadbeguntoworryabouthowmuchheate.Notthathewasfat.Hejusthadn’tworkedoffallhiswinterblubberyet.
Heslidhishandintohisshirtandfurtivelysqueezedthesideofhisstomach.Wormswerejustdirt;dirtwasn’tfattening.
Ifhewonfiftydollars,hecouldbuythatmini-bikeGeorgeCunningham’sbrotherhadpromisedtosellhiminSeptemberbeforehewentawaytocollege.Heck,hecouldgaganythingdownforfiftydollars,couldn’the?
Helookedup.“Icanuseketchupormustardoranythinglikethat?AsmuchasIwant?”
Alannodded.“Okay?”Billystoodup.“Okay.”
OceanofPDF.com
II
Digging
No,”saidTom.“That’snotfair.”HeandAlanandJoewerewanderingaroundbehindthebarnsatBilly’s
house,arguingoverwheretodigthefirstworm.“Whatd’yamean,it’snotfair?”saidJoe.“Nobodysaidanythingabout
wherethewormsweresupposedtocomefrom.Wecangetthemanywherewewant.”
“Notfromamanurepile,”saidTom.“That’snotfair.Evenifwedidn’tmakearuleaboutsomething,youstillhavetobefair.”
“Whatdifferencedoesitmakewherethewormcomesfrom?”saidAlan.“Aworm’saworm.”
“There’snothingwrongwithmanure,”saidJoe.“Itcomesfromcows,justlikemilk.”Joewassly,devious,aschemer.Themanurepilehadbeenhisidea.
“YouandBillyhavegottobefair,too,”saidAlantoTom.“Besides,we’lldigintheoldpartofthepile,whereitdoesn’tsmellmuchanymore.”
“Comeon,”saidTom,startingoffacrossthefielddragginghisshovel.“Ifitwasfair,youwouldn’tbesoanxiousaboutit.Wouldyoueatawormfromamanurepile?”
JoeandAlanrantocatchup.“Iwouldn’teataworm,period,”saidJoe.“Soyoucan’tgobythat.”“Yeah,butifyourmothertoldyoutogooutandpicksomedaisiesforthe
suppertable,wouldyoupickthedaisiesoffamanurepile?”“Mymotherwouldn’taskme.She’daskmysister.”“YouknowwhatImean.”
***
AlanandTomandJoeleanedontheirshovelsunderatreeintheapple
orchard,watchingthewormstheyhaddugsquirmingonaflatrock.
“Nothim,”saidTom,pointingtoanightcrawler.“Whynot?”“Lookathim.He’dchokeadog.”“Geez!”explodedAlan.“YouexpectustopickoneBillycanjustgulp
down,likeanantoranit?”“Gulping’snoteating,”saidJoe.“Theworm’sgottobebigenoughso
Billyhastocutitintobitesandeatitwithafork.Offaplate.”“It’sthisoneornothing,”saidAlan,pickingupthenightcrawler.Tomconsideredthematter.ItwouldbemorefunwatchingBillytryingto
eatthenightcrawler.Hegrinned.Boy,itwashuge!Aregularpython.WaittillBillysawit.
“Weletyouchoosewheretodig,”saidAlan.
Afterall,thoughtTom,Billycouldn’texpecttowinfiftydollarsbyjustgulpingdownafewmeaslylittlebabyworms.
“Allright.Comeon.”Heturnedandstartedbacktowardthebarns,dragginghisshovel.
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III
TrainingCamp
SIX,seven,eight,nine,ten!”Billywasdoingpush-upsinthedesertedhorsebarn.Hewasn’tworried
abouteatingthefirstworm.Butpeoplewerealwaysdaringhimtodothings,andhe’dfounditwasbettertolookahead,totrytofigurethingsout,gethimselfready.LastwinterAlanhaddaredhimtosleepoutallnightintheigloothey’dbuiltinTom’sbackyard.Whynot?Billyhadthoughttohimself.Whatcouldhappen?Aboutmidnight,huddledshiveringunderhisblanketsinthedarkness,he’dbeguntowonderifheshouldgiveupandgohome.Hisfeetfeltlikeachingstonesinhisboots;evenhistongue,insidehismouth,wascold.Buthalfanhourlater,ashewasstubbornlydancingaboutoutsideinthemoonlighttowarmhimself,Tom’sdogMarthahadcomealongwithsixotherdogs,allinapack,andBillyhadcoaxedthemintotheiglooandblockedthedoorwithanorangecrate,andafterthedogshadstoppedwrestlingandnippingandbarkingandsniffingaround,they’dallgonetosleepinaheapwithBillyinthemiddle,aswarmasanonioninastew.
Buthehadn’tbeenabletothinkofanythingspecialtodotopreparehimselfforeatingaworm,sohewasjustlimberingupingeneral—push-ups,kneebends,jumpingjacks—red-faced,perspiring.
Nearby,onanorangecrate,he’dsetoutbottlesofketchupandWorchestershiresauce,jarsofpiccalilliandmustard,aboxofcrackers,saltandpeppershakers,alemon,asliceofcheese,hismother’stincinnamon-and-sugarshaker,aboxofKleenex,ajarofmaraschinocherries,somehorseradish,andaplastichoneybear.
Tom’sheadappearedaroundthedoor.“Ready?”Billyscrambledup,brushingbackhishair.“Yeah.”
“TARAHHHHHHHHH!”Tomflungthedooropen;Alanmarchedincarryingacoveredsilver
platterinbothhands,Joeslouchingalongbesidehimwithanapkinoveronearm,noddingandsmilingobsequiously.Tomdraggedanotherorangecrateoverbesidethefirst;Alansetthesilverplatteronit.
“Achair,”criedAlan.“Achairforthemonshure!”“Comeon,”saidBilly.“Cuttheclowning.”Tomfoundanoldmilkingstoolinoneofthehorsestalls.Joedusteditoff
withhisnapkin,showinghisteeth,andthenusheredBillyontoit.“Luddiesandgintlemin!”shoutedAlan.“Iprezintmymusterpiece:Vurm
alaMud!”Hesweptthecoverofftheplatter.“Awrgh!”criedBillyrecoiling.
OceanofPDF.com
IV
TheFirstWorm
THEhugenightcrawlersprawledlimplyinthecenteroftheplatter,brownandsteaming.
“Boiled,”saidTom.“Weboiledit.”Billystormedaboutthebarn,kickingbarrelsandposts,arguing.“Anight
crawlerisn’taworm!Ifitwasaworm,it’dbecalledaworm.Anightcrawler’sanightcrawler.”
FinallyJoeranofftogethisfather’sdictionary:
nightcrawlern:EARTHWORM;esp:alargeearthwormfoundonthesoilsurfaceatnight
Billykickedabarrel.Itstillwasn’tfair;hedidn’tcarewhatanydictionarysaid;everybodyknewthedifferencebetweenanightcrawlerandaworm—lookatthething.Yergh!ItwasasbigasasouvenirpencilfromtheEmpireStateBuilding!Yugh!Hepokeditwithhisfinger.
Alansaidthey’dagreedrightatthestartthatheandJoecouldchoosetheworms.IfBillywasgoingtocheat,thebetwasoff.Hegotupandstartedforthedoor.Heguessedhehadotherthingstodobesidesarguealldaywithafink.
SoTomtookBillyasideintoahorsestallandputhisarmaroundBilly’sshouldersandtalkedtohimaboutGeorgeCunningham’sbrother’sminibike,andhowtheycouldrideitonthetrailunderthepowerlinesbehindOdell’sfarm,upanddownthehills,boundingoverrocks,rhum-rhum.Sure,itwasabigworm,butit’donlybeacouplemorebites.DidhewanttoloseaminibikeoverTwobites?Slopenoughmustardandketchupandhorseradishonitandhewouldn’teventasteit.
“Yeah,”saidBilly.“Icouldprobablyeatthisone.ButIgottoeatfifteen.”
“Youcan’tquitnow,”saidTom.“Lookatthem.”HenoddedatAlanandJoe,waitingbesidetheorangecrates.“They’lltelleverybodyyouwerechicken.It’llbealloverschool.Comeon.”
HeledBillybacktotheorangecrates,sathimdown,tiedthenapkinaroundhisneck.
Alanflourishedtheknifeandfork.“Wouldmonshurelikeeetcarvedlingthviseorcrussvise?”“Kitchip?”askedJoe,showinghisteeth.“Cutitout,”saidTom.“Here.”Hegloppedketchupandmustardand
horseradishonthenightcrawler,squeezedonafewdropsoflemonjuice,andsaltedandpepperedit.
Billyclosedhiseyesandopenedhismouth.“Ouwootin.”Tomslicedofftheendofthenightcrawlerandforkeditup.Butjustashe
wasabouttopokeitintoBilly’sopenmouth,Billyclosedhismouthandopenedhiseyes.
“No,letmedoit.”Tomhandedhimthefork.Billygazedatthedrippingketchupand
mustard,thinking,Awrgh!It’sallrighttalkingabouteatingworms,butdoingit!?!
Tomwhisperedinhisear.“Minibike.”“Glug.”Billypokedtheforkintohismouth,chewedfuriously,gulped!…
gulped!…Hiseyescrossed,swam,squinchedshut.Heflappedhisarmswildly.Andthen,openinghiseyes,hegrinnedbeatificallyupatTom.
“Superb,Gaston.”Tomcutanotherpiece,ketchuped,mustarded,salted,peppered,
horseradished,andlemonedit,andhandedtheforktoBilly.Billysluggeditdown,smackinghislips.Andsotheyproceeded,nowsprinklingoncinnamonandsugarorabitofcheese,somecrackercrumbsorWorcestershiresauce,untiltherewasnothingontheplatebutafewstraydabsofketchupandmustard.
“Vell,”saidBilly,standingupandwipinghismouthwithhisnapkin.“So.Vearedonemitdefirstcurse.Nawseconds?”
“Lemmelookinyourmouth,”saidAlan.“Yeah,”saidJoe.“Seeifheswalloweditall.”“Soitinly,soitinly,”saidBilly.“Lukeaslongasyouvant.”
AlanandJoescrutinizedtheinsideofhismouth.“Okay,okay,”saidTom.“Leavehimalonenow.Comeon.Onedown,
fourteentogo.”“How’dittaste?”askedAlan“Gute,gute,”saidBilly.“Ver’fine,ver’fine.Hoohoo.”Heflappedhis
armslikeabigbirdandbegantohoparoundthebarn,crying,“Gute,gute.Ver’fine,ver’fine.Gute,gute.”
AlanandJoeandTomlookedworried.“Uh,yeah—gute,gute.Howyoufeeling,Billy?”Tomasked.“Yeah,stopflappingaroundandcometellushowyou’refeeling,”said
Joe.
TheyhuddledtogetherbytheorangecratesasBillyhoppedaroundandaroundthem,flappinghisarms.
“Gute,gute.Ver’fine,ver’fine.Hoohoo.”Alanwhispered,“He’scrackers.”Joeedgedtowardthedoor.“Don’tlethimseewe’reafraid.Crazypeople
arelikedogs.Iftheyseeyou’reafraid,they’llattack.”“Itcouldn’tbe,”whisperedTom,standinghisground.“Oneworm?”“Gute,gute,”screechedBilly,hoppinghigherandhigheranddrooling
fromthemouth.“Comeon,”whisperedJoetoTom.“Hey,Billy!”burstoutTomsuddenlyinahearty,quaveringvoice.“Cutit
out,willyou?Iwanttoaskyousomething.”Billy’sarmsflappedslower.HetiptoedmenacinglyaroundTom,hishead
cockedononeside,hischeekspuffedout.Tomhuggedhimself,chucklingnervously.
“Heh,heh.Cutitout,willyou,Billy?Heh,heh.”Billypounced.JoeandAlanfled,thebarndoorbangingbehindthem.
Billyrolledonthefloor,helplesswithlaughter.Tomclamberedup,brushinghimselfoff.“Didyouseetheirfaces?”Billysaid,laughing.“Climbingovereach
otheroutthedoor?Oh!Geez!Joewaspaleasanonion.”“Yeah,”saidTom.“Ha,ha.Youfooledthem.”“Ho!Geez!”Billysatup.Thenhecrawledovertothedoorandpeered
outthroughaknothole.“Lookatthem,peekingupoverthestonewall.Watchthis.”
Thedoorswungslowlyopen.Screeching,Billyhoppedontothedoorsill!—intotheyard!—upontoa
stump!—splashintoapuddle!—flappinghisarms,rollinghishead.AlanandJoegallopedupthehillthroughthehighgrass,yelling,“Herehe
comes!Getoutoftheway!”AndthenBillystoppedhopping,andclimbinguponthestump,calledin
ashrill,girlishvoice,“Oh,boy-oys,whereareyougo-ing?Idsomefingtareyou,iddleboys?”
AlanandJoestoppedandlookedback.“Idoodoughinghome,iddleboys?”yelledBilly.“Idootared?”“Who’sscared,youlunk?”calledAlan.“Yeah,”yelledJoe.“IguessIcangohomewithoutbeingcalledscared,if
Iwantto.”“Butain’tooinadawfulhur-ry?”shoutedBilly.“IjustrememberedIwassupposedtohelpmymotherwashwindowsthis
afternoon,”saidAlan.“That’sall.”Heturnedandstartedupthroughthemeadow,hishandsinhispockets.
“Yeah,”saidJoe.“Me,too.”HetrudgedafterAlan.
OceanofPDF.com
V
TheGatheringStorm
ALANandJoestoppedintheorchardbythepileoffreshdirt.“Youthinkhe’llbeabletodoit?”askedAlan,bitinghisthumbnail.“Idon’tknow,”saidJoe.“Hecan’tdoit,”saidAlan.“Howcouldanybodyeatfifteenworms?My
father’llkillme.Fiftydollars?Heatethatoneawfuleasy.”“Forgetit,”saidJoe.“Ifhedoesn’tgiveuphimself,I’llfiguresomething
out.Wecouldspikethenextwormwithpepper.He’deatonepieceandthenanother,talkingtoTom—Thenallofasuddenhe’dsneeze:ka-chum!Thenhe’dsneezeagain:ka-chum!Thenagain:ka-chumka-chum!Afaintlookofpanicwouldcreepoverhisface;he’sbeginningtowonderifhe’lleverstop.Heclutcheshisstomach;hiseyesbegintowater.Ka-chum!Ka-chum!”
“Billy’sawfulstubborn,”saidAlan.“Evenifitwaskillinghim,hemightnotgiveup.”
“Ka-chum!Ka-chum!”criedJoe.“Hefallstothefloor.Ibendoverhim.‘Gawd,’Isay.‘Callhismother.It’sthetroglodycrosis.’Hiseyesbleatupatme.Ka-chum!”
“Rememberthatbusinesslastsummer?”saidAlan,gnawingonhisthumbnail.“Whenitwasninety-fivedegreesintheshadeandIdaredhimtoputonallhiswinterclothesandhisfather’sraccooncoatandhisskibootsandwalkupanddownMainStreetallafternoon?”
“Ka-chum!Ka-chum!”Theywentoffthroughtheorchard,Joesneezing,sighing,rollinghiseyes
—pretendingtobeBillysufferingfromadoseofpepperedworm;AlanmoaningtohimselfabouthowstubbornBillycouldbe—fiftydollars?
OceanofPDF.com
VI
TheSecondWorm
BILLYsighed.Ontheplatebeforehimlaythelastbiteofwormunderadaubofketchupandmustard.
“What’sthematter?”askedTom.“Idon’tknow,”sighedBilly.Hepickeduptheforkagain.“Doesittastebad?”“No,”saidBillywearily.“Ijusttasteketchupandmustardmostly.Butit
makesmefeelsortofsick.EvenbeforeIeatit.Justthinkingaboutit.”HesighedagainandthenglancedatJoeandAlan,talkingtoeachotherinwhispersoverbythewindow.
“Whatareyouwhisperingabout?”“Nothing.”“Thenwhatareyouwhisperingfor?”“Nothing.It’snotimportant.JustsomethingJoe’sfathertoldhimlast
night.”“What?”“Comeon.Finishup.Itwasnothing.We’llmissthecartoons.”Billyshuthiseyesandpoppedthelastpieceofwormintohismouth,
chewed,gagged,clappedhishandsoverhismouth,gulped!gulped!toppledbackwardofftheorangecrate.Sprawlingonhisbackinthechaff,hegazedpeacefullyupattheceiling.
JoeandAlanstoodoverhim.“Openup.”Billyopenedhismouth.“Wider.Seeany,Joe?”“Naw,heswallowedit.”“Okay,let’sgo.”
OceanofPDF.com
VII
RedCrashHelmetsandWhiteJumpSuits
AFTERthemovies,TomwalkedhomewithBilly.“TomorrowI’llrollthecrawlerincornmealandfryit.Likeatrout.”“It’snotreallythetaste,”saidBilly.“It’smorethethought.WhenIstart
toeatit,eventhoughit’ssmotheredinketchupandmustardandgratedcheese,Ican’tstopthinkingworm.Worm,worm,worm,worm,worm,worm:
gagglesofwormsinbaitboxes,drownedwormsdryinguponsidewalks,awormsquirmingasthefishhookgoresintohim,thesoggyendofawormdragglingoutofadeadfish’smouth,robinsyankingwormsoutofalawn.Ican’tstopthinkingworm.”
“Yeah,butifIfryitincornmeal,itwon’tlooklikeacrawler,”saidTom.“I’llputparsleyaroundit,andsomeslicesoflemon.Andthenyoucanconcentrate,thinkfish.Allthetimeyou’rewaitinginthebarn,allthetimeyou’reeatingit,keepsayingtoyourself:fishfishfishfishfishfishfishfish;hereIameatingfish,goodfish.
“Trout,salmon,flounder,perch,I’llridemyminibikeintochurch.Dace,tuna,haddock,trout,Wait’llyouheartheministershout.
“Fishfishfishfishfishfishfishfishfishfishfishfishfishfish.
“Shark,haddock,sucker,eel,I’llracemyfatherinhisautomobile.Eel,flounder,bluegill,shark,We’llracealldaytillafterdark.”
Billycheeredup.“Thinkhowthey’dallstare.I’drevuptheaisle,ziparoundthefront
pews,downasideaisleunderthestained-glasswindows.Myparentswouldkillme.ReverendYarder’dpeerdownoverthebiblestand.‘William,’he’dcry.‘William,youtakethatenginethingoutofherethisminute!’”
“Yeah,andthenthey’dcomechasingoutafterus,”saidTom.Billylaughed.“Wavingtheirarmsandyelling.Andwe’dleadthem
zigzagroundandroundandinandoutamongthegravestonesandmonumentsinthecemeteryandthenroaroffdowntheSandgateRoad,leavingthemdrapedovertombs,pantingandshakingtheirfists.”
“Huphup!”yelledTom,dancingaroundandboxingtheair.“AndthatMondaywe’dsmuggleitintoclassdisguisedasRaymond
Dwelley,becausehe’ssofat,andhideitinthecoatcloset.AndthenwhenMillyButlersaidanything,anythingatall,evensomethinglike‘excuseme,’
orifsheevensniffed,we’ddumpawholebottleofinkoverherheadandrunforthecoatcloset,overturningchairsanddesksbehindustoslowupMrs.Howard.She’dcomeafterus,fumingandshoutingthreats,andsuddenlythedoorsofthecoatclosetwouldslamopen,andoutwe’droaronourminibikeinblood-redcrashhelmetsandwhitejumpsuits,ourscarvesstreamingoutbehindus!Andwe’droarroundandroundtheclassroomwhileMrs.Howardkneltamongtheoverturneddesksandchairs,sobbinghelplesslyintoherhands,andthenrhum-rhumoutthedoorandupthehall,thumbingournosesatthemonitors.Brackety-brackety-bracketyupthestairs,stiff-armingtacklers,intoMr.Simmons’soffice—upontohisdesk!Broom!Broom!—abackfireintohisface,andzoooom!outthewindowashetopplesbackwardinhischairinahurricaneofquizpapersandreportcards.Andthen,crunch,landingonthedriveway,weroaroffdownthehighwaytoBenningtonandjointheNavysoMrs.HowardandMr.Simmonsandourparentscan’tpunishus.”
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VIII
TheThirdWorm
TOMranoutofthekitchenofBilly’shouse,holdingthesizzlingfryingpanoutinfrontofhimwithbothhands,thescreendoorbangingbehindhim.
Alanthrewopenthebarndoorwhenhesawhimcoming.Tomthumpedthefryingpandownontheorangecrate.
“There!”hesaidbreathlessly.“DonetoaT.Lookather,allgolden-brownandsizzling.Itlooksgoodenoughtoeat.”
“Yeah,”saidBilly.Hepokedthewormwithhisfork.Tomtookoffthepot-holderglovehewaswearing.“Thinkfish,”hesaid.
“Remember:thinkfish.
“Trout,salmon,flounder,perch,I’llridemyminibikeintochurch.Eel,salmon,bluegill,trout,Wait’llyouheartheministershout.
“Clam,flounder,tuna,sucker,Lookoutherewecome,oldMrs.Tucker.Lobster,blackbass,oysterstew,TheregoesNewOrleans,herecomesPeru.”
HeleanedoverBillyandwhisperedinhisear,“Fishfishfishfishfishfishfishfishfish,goon,takeabite,fishfishfishfishfish,okay,secondbite,fish,fish,fish,fish….”
IX
ThePlotters
GEEZ,youthinkit’llwork?”saidAlantoJoe.“Supposeitdoesn’t?Hedidn’tseemtopaymuchattentiontoday.”
“Don’tworry,”saidJoe.“Wegothimthinking.Ittakestime.Igotitalldopedout.Trustme.”
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X
TheFourthWorm
BILLYatesteadily,grimacing,rubbinghisnose,spreadingonmorehorseradishsauce.Tombentoverhim,hissinginhisear,“Fishfishfishfishfishfish.”
Billypaused,watchingAlanandJoewhisperingbythedoor.Heswishedthelastbiteroundandroundintheketchupandmustard.Allofasuddenhesaid,“That’snotfair.Theycan’tactlikethatanymore.EverytimeIswallowtheyleanforwardasiftheyexpectedmetokeeloverorsomething!AndthenwhenIdon’t,theylooksurprisedandshrugtheirshouldersandnudgeeachother.”
“Comeon,”saidJoe.“Cutitout.Wecanwatchyou,forcripes’sake.We’rejuststandingoverherebythewindowwatchingyou.”
“No,you’renot,”saidBilly.“You’rewhispering.AndactingasifyouexpectedsomethingtohappeneverytimeIswallow.”
“It’snothing,”saidJoe.“Forgetit.Look,we’llturnaroundandlookoutthewindowwhileyouswallow.”
“Whatdoyoumean,it’snothing?”saidBilly.“What’snothing?”“Oh,comeon,”saidAlan.“It’sjustsomethingJoe’sfathertoldhimthe
othernight.It’snothing.”“What?What?”“It’lljustworryyou,”saidAlan.“It’scrazy.It’snothing.Forgetit.”Billytorethenapkinawayfromhisthroat.“Tellme!”“It’snothing,”saidJoe.“Youknowhowmyfatheris.He’salwaysyelling
aboutsomething.”“Tellmeorit’salloff.”“Well,look,it’snothing,butthenightbeforelast,IwastellingJanie
aboutyoueatingthewormsandmyfatherwasontheporchandheardus.So
hethrewdownhisnewspaperandsays,‘Joseph!’SoIsays,‘Yes,Pa?’Andhesays,‘Haveyouetaworm,Joseph?’Andthenhegrabbedmyshouldersandshookmetillmyhandsdancedattheendsofmyarmslikeapuppet’s.‘It’sforyourowngood,’hesays.SoIstutteredout,‘It’ssssnnnnotgoingtoddddomeanyggggoodifIIIIIsssshaketopppppieces,isit?’Janiewaswailing;mymotherwaschewingheraproninthedoorway.‘Alfred,’shecries,‘what’shedone?You’llderacinatehim.HashehauleddowntheAmericanflagatschoolandeatenitagain?Hashe—’”
“Sowhat’sthepoint?”yelledBilly.“Gettothepoint!What’sitallhavetodowithme?”
“I’mcomingtoit,”saidJoe,wipinghisnose.“ButIwantedtoshowyouhowimportantitwas,myfathernearlykillingmeandall.”
Hesneezed.AndthenAlanbegantosneezeandfinallyhadtohobbleoffintooneofthehorsestalls,hugginghisstomach,torecover.
“Anyway,”saidJoe,wipinghisnoseagainandhitchinguphisLevi’s,“somyfathertoldmymotherhethoughtI’deatenaworm.‘Awhat?’saysmymother,droppingherapronandclutchingthesidesofherhead.‘Aworm,’saysmyfather,noddingsolemnly.Somymotherfainted,collapsedallhelter-skelterrightthereinthedoorway,andlaystill,hertonguelollingoutofhermouth,herredhairspreadoutbeautifullyoverthedoorsill.SoI—”
“Willyoucutitout?”Billyyelled.“Whocaresaboutyourmother?WhatdoesithavetodowithME?”
“Ithinkhe’slying,”saidTom.“Whoeverheardofsomeone’smotherfaintingandhertonguehangingout?”
“AllRIGHT!”yelledJoeapoplectically,stampingaround.“ALLRIGHT!NowIwon’ttell.Youcandie,BillyForrester,andyou’llhavetocarryhimhome,TomGrout,allbyyourself!Nobodysaystome:‘Whocaresaboutyourmother.’ALLRIGHT!I’mgoing.Alan,”heyelled,“they’reinsultingmymother.I’mgoing.”
“Don’t,”saidAlan,runningoutofthehorsestallandgrabbingJoebytheshirttail.“Don’t.Yougottotellhim.Evenyourmother’dsayso.Mine,too.Nomatterwhathesaid.Ain’titamatteroflifeanddeath?”
“Iwon’t,”saidJoe,startingtowardthedoor.Alanpulledhimback.“Yougotto.HowlonghaveweknownpoorBill?
Six,sevenyears?Foroldtime’ssake,Joe,becausewewerealloncein
kindergartentogether.Thinkoftheagonyhe’llface,Joe,thepainandthebloodandthegore.”
Billywasonhiskneesbytheorangecrate,wringinghishands,notdaringtointerfere.ButwhenJoeglancedsullenlybackathim,hewhispered,“Please,Joe?Foroldtime’ssake?”
“Well,willyouapologizeforinsultingmymother?”
“Ido,”saidBilly.“Ido.Iapologize.”
SoAlanandJoebegantosneezeagainandthistimehadtobendoverandputtheirheadsbetweentheirlegstorecover.
Tom,whohadbeenwatchingthemsuspiciously,tryingtomakeoutwhatwasgoingon,startedtosaysomething.“Shutup!”hissedBillyfiercely,turningonhim.“Youkeepoutofit!”
SoJoewentonwithhisstory:howhismotherhadbeencarriedupstairstoherroom;howthedoctorhadcome,shakinghishead;howhisaunthadsobbed,pullingdownalltheshadesintheirhouse;howthatmorninghismotherhadfinallycomedownstairsforthefirsttimeleaningonhisaunt’sarm,paleandsorrowful;how…
“Yeah,”saidTom.“Sure.Sowhy?Whatdoeseatingwormsdotoyou?”“Nobodywilltellme,”saidJoe,openinghiseyeswide.“It’sbeenthree
daysnow,andnobody’llsay.It’sjustlikethetimemycousinLucygotcaughtinthebackseatofherfather’sCheveroletwiththeencyclopediasalesman.Nobody’lltellmewhytherewassuchanuproar.”Hewipedhismouth.“Butonething’ssure:it’sworsethanpoison.Probably—”
“Crap,”saidTom.“Oh,yeah?”saidJoe.ButthenheandAlanhadanothersneezingfit,sprawlinghelplessly
againsteachother.“Lookatthem,”saidTomtoBilly.“They’renotsneezing—they’re
laughing.Comeon.Eatthelastpieceandlet’sgetoutofhere.”“Youreallythinkso?”saidBillydoubtfully.Thesneezingdidlookan
awfullotlikegiggling.“Sure.Lookatthem.”TomgaveAlanandJoeashove.Theycollapsedinaheap,sneezing
uncontrollably.Billywatchedthem.Yeah,sure,theyweren’tsneezing—theywere
laughing….Weren’tthey?“Hayfever,”gaspedAlan,“hayfever.”“Aw,youneverhadhayfeverbefore,”saidTom.“Howaboutyesterday
orthedaybefore?Comeon,Billy.Openup.”SoBilly,halfbelievingTomandhalfnot,glancingdoubtfullyatAlanand
Joe,allowedTomtopokethelastbiteofwormintohismouthandleadhimoutofthebarn.
***
AlanandJoesatup.“Itdidn’twork,”saidAlan.Joebegantobrushthechaffoutofhishair.“Youwait.Hewasn’tsure.Tomwas,butheisn’teatingtheworms.You
wait.Billy’sworried.Hewasbefore,that’swhyhesaidhefeltlikehewasgoingtothrowup.Butnowhe’sreallyworried.SupposeIwasn’tlying?DidyouseehisfacewhenIsaidmyfathershookme?Ithoughthiseyeswouldbugrightoutofhishead.”
Alanlaughed.“Oh,geez,yeah.Andwhenyousaidyourmotherfainted.”Joestoppedbrushingthechaffoutofhishair.“Exceptwhy’dyoulaugh
somuch,forcripes’sake?Ifyou’dkeptastraightfaceevenTomwouldn’thaveguessed.”
“Aw,youlaughedfirst.Whatdoyoumean?”“Me?Ilaughedfirst?Ididnot.”“Youdidso.Youlaughedwhenheyelledatyouthefirsttime.Youwiped
yournose.”Theywentoffthroughthemeadow,arguing.
XI
Tom
BILLYpushedthefryingpantowardTom.“Okay,fink.Ifit’snotsupposedtohurtyou,youeatapiece.”“Oh,no,”saidAlan.HeandJoewerelyingontheirstomachsinthe
hayloft,watching.“Ifheeatsapiece,youlose,Billy.Thebetwasyouweregoingtoeatfifteenworms,notyouandhimtogether.”
Billydidn’tlookup,hiseyesfixedgrimlyonTom.“Allright.ThenI’llgodiganotherworm,justforhim.He’ssobig,
tellingme:‘Hurryup,hurryup,Ican’twaitaroundallday—don’tbeasissy.’Allright.Now—”
“Ididn’tsaysissy,”saidTomuncomfortably.“Ijustsaidifthefirstfourwormsdidn’tkillyou,thisonewouldn’t.Ican’thelpitifmymothertoldmetobehomebytwotoday.She’sgoingshopping,soIhavetomindmybrother.”
“Yeah?”saidBilly.“Okay.Sowe’lljusthavetimeforyoutoeatawormbeforeyougo.Comeon.Where’stheshovel?”
“Here,”saidAlanfromtheloft.“Webrunganextratoday.”Awormdangledsquirmingfromhisfingers.HedroppedittoBilly.“It’snotcooked,”saidTom.“I’lldoit,I’lldoit,”saidJoe,scramblingdowntheladder.Hetookthe
wormfromBillyandranout,thenranbackandgrabbedthefryingpan.Tomsatdownonanoverturnedpailtowait.Hedidn’twanttoeatany
worm.Itwasn’thisbet.Heglancedatthedoorcreakinginthewind.Maybeheshouldmakeabreakforit.
Ofcourse,hecouldseeBilly’spoint.Billydidn’tbelieveJoe’sstory,butstill…he’dfinditreassuringifTomatesomeworm,too.
“He’lleatit,”BillywassayingtoAlan.“Ifhedon’t,he’schicken,”saidAlan.“Afterallhistalk.”
Whydon’tIeatit?thoughtTom.Imean,it’sayuckythingtodo,butitwouldn’tkillme.
Hescratchedhisneck,shiftinghisseatonthepail.Idon’tknow,thoughtTom.Ijustwon’t,Iguess.Hegagged,imaginingwhatitwouldbeliketobitedownonasoft,fat,
boiledworm.Heglancedatthedooragain.Billykickedthedoorshut.“Leaveitopen,”saidTom.“Why?”“BecauseIsaidso.”“Yeah?Well,youdon’townthisbarn.”“Neitherdoyou.Yourfatherdoes.”Billyrubbedhisnose,watchingTom,figuring:He’stryingtopickafight
sohewon’thavetoeattheworm.“Okay.”Billyopenedthedoorandsetabrickagainstit.Tomshiftedhisseatonthepailagain.Hecouldn’tstopthinkingabout
whatitwouldbeliketobitedownonasoft,fat,boiledworm.Hescratchedhisear.WhodidBillythinkhewas,tryingtoorderpeoplearound,tellingthemwhattheyhadtoeatandall?Billywasn’tanybody’sfather.Tombegantofeelput-uponandindignantandstubborn.
Ascreendoorslammed:Joecomingbackwiththeworm.Tomlickedhislips.HeheardJoerunningacrossthebarnyardtowardthem…
“Billy!”Alanshouted.BillyspunaroundjustintimetocatchaglimpseofTompeltingoutthe
door,thedoorbangingshut.Heflungtothewindow:Joesprawledinthemiddleofthebarnyardonhisback,Tomwasclamberingoverthewallintothemeadow,thefryingpanlayupsidedownbesidethehorsetrough.
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XII
TheFifthWorm
LOOK,saidBillytohimself,staringdownatthefriedwormontheplate.Besensible.Howcanithurtme?I’veeatenfouralready.Tomwasjustscared.He’slikethat.Heeggsotherpeopleon,butheneverwantstodoanythinghimself.
“Giveup?”askedAlan.“Comeon,”saidJoe.“Wehaven’tgotallday.”“Fivemoreminutes,”saidAlan.“ThenIwin.”“There’snotimelimit,”saidBilly.Forthefirsttimehewonderedwhat
he’ddoifhelost.Wherecouldheevergetfiftydollars?Buthowcouldheeattenmore?Big,fat,ugly,soft,brownthings.Hecouldn’taskhisfatherforfiftydollars.
HeheardAlanandJoewhisperingtogether.“He’sgonnaquit.”“Yeah.Iknewhe’dnevermakeitwhenIbetwithhim.Hetalksbig.Him
andTomarejustthesame.Buttheyneverdoanything.”Billygrittedhisteeth,gloppedonketchup,mustard,salt,gratedcheese,
whateverwasonthecrate,anything,everything,andthengrabbedupthewormandtoreitapartwithhishands,stuffingitintohismouth,chewingandchewingandswallowing,gulping….
Then,panting,hereachedoutandwipedhisgooeyhandsonAlan’strousersandgrinnedmessilyupathimandsaid,
“There.Five.”
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XIII
NothingtoWorryAbout
THATnightAlanaskedhisfathertoshowhimfiftydollars.Afterthat,hecouldn’tsleep,tossingandturninginhisrumpledbed.
Supposehelost?Hecouldjustseehimselfaskinghisfatherforfiftydollars—beggingforit,onhisknees,tearsstreamingdownhischeeks;andthen,atThanksgivingdinner,cringingwhileallhisauntsandunclesandcousinsroaredoverhisfather’sstoryof“Alan’sbet.”
Heslidoutofbedandsnuckdownthecarpetedhalltohisparents’bedroom.
“Yougottowakehim,Mrs.O’Hara,yougotto,”hewhisperedintothephone.“It’sanemergency.Igottospeaktohim.”Pause.“Igotahoarsethroat,Mrs.O’Hara,that’swhyI’mwhispering.Please.”Pause.“Gee,thanks,Mrs.O’Hara.No,Iwon’tevercallthislateagain,it’sjustit’s—”
Hewaited,gnawingathisthumbnail.Aboardcreakedonthestairs.Hestiffened.Silence.
“Whatd’yawant?”saidJoesuddenlyoverthetelephone.“Geez,Iwassleeping.Youwokemeup.”
“Joe,supposeIlose?Myfather’llneverletmetakethemoneyoutofmysavingsaccount.Iknowhewon’t.YouthinkI’lllose,Joe?Huh?Huh?Joe,tellme.Giveittomestraight.Joe,Igottoknow.Ican’tsleep.”
Joesighed.“Look.Itoldyouthisafternoon.Yougotnothingtoworryabout.He’scracking.Sure,heatethatonetoday.Sure,hemight—”
XIV
ThePainandtheBloodandtheGore
FOURblocksawayBillysuddenlyfoundhimselfinabrightlylitbutchershop,jostledbyacrowdofenormous,pigeon-breasted,middle-agedwomen,shoutingtomakehimselfheardoverthedinoftheirchatterandtheroarsofbutchersorderingabouttheweasel-facedboyswhowerelugginghaunchesandtubsofmeatinandoutoftherefrigeratorroomintherear.ThenabutchersawBillyjumpingandjumpingamongthewomenandaskedforhisorderandBillygaveit,andsuddenlyhewasshovedupclosetothechoppingblockandthebutcherslappeddowntenblackwormsasbigassnakesandBillytriedtosaytheyweretoobig,he’dchokeonthem,butthebutchercouldn’thearhimoverthethumpsofhiscleaverandthedinofthewomenandthehoarseshoutsoftheotherbutchers,andbeforeBillyknewwhatwashappening,hewasseatedatatableinLongchampsRestaurantonTimesSquareinNewYorkCitywithalargenapkintiedunderhischin,andawaiterwasuncoveringaplatteronwhichlayoneofthehugeblackworms,coiledsnakily,ared,redrosewobblinginthecenterofitscoils.
“HowcanIeverfinishit?”saidBillyandcutintoamammothcoil.Steamingpinkjuicefloodedout.Billyateandateandateandateandthenlooked…and…and…hemusthaveeatenmorethanthat?Andthenhelookedagainandtherewasnoholeatall.Hehadeatenandeatenandeaten…nothingatall!
Andthenhefeltsomethingcoldonhisanklesandlookedunderthetableclothandthereweretwomoreofthehugewormswoundaroundandaroundhisankles.Andthenhefeltsomethingweighingdownhisarmandhelookedandtherewasanotherwormwoundaroundhisarm,glaringhungrily
athimwithitsbloodshooteyes,andfromeverywhereinthevastroom,windingbetweenthetables,waitersapproachedcarryinghugesilverservingplatters….
***
Billyopenedhiseyes.Forthefirstmoment,inthemoonlightfloodinghisbedroom,histwobare
feet,stickingupoutofthebottomofthecovers,lookedliketwohugewhiteworms’heads.
Andthenherealizedthathehadbeendreamingandsankbackontohispillow,thenightmaremeltingaway.Therewerenohugewormsasbigaspythons,hewashomeinbed,hisparentswereasleepinthenextroom….
Hisstomachrumbled.ButsupposeJoehadn’tbeenlying?Thehairstooduponthebackofhisneck.OrsupposeJoehadmadeitallupbuthadbeenrightanyway,without
knowingit?Ashutterbanged.Billyglancedoutthewindowandsawthemoonriding
amongthetossingleaves.Hisstomachrumbledandgurgled.Hegroaned.Supposehewasdying?He’dheardofpeoplewakingupinthemiddleof
thenightwithpainsintheirstomachs,andthen,asthewindowsturnedgrayinthedawn,theydied.Toadstools,souredlobster,taintedpork.
Thatwasapain!Heclutchedhisstomach,andgroaning,halffell,halfstaggeredoutofbed
andhobbledtowardthedoor,bentdouble.Maybetherewasanantidote.Hewhimpered.Itdidn’thurtalot,butnothingeverdidtobeginwith,didit?
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XV
3:15A.M.
HISmotherreachedoutandswitchedonthelight.“Whatkindofpain,Billy?”
Hestoodbesidethebed,clutchinghisstomach.“Inmystomach.Oooo,thereitgoesagain,Ithink.”
“Didyoueatsomethingbeforebed?”Shewaspullingonherbathrobe.“John,John.”Sheshookherhusband’s
shoulder.Hemumbledsleepily.“Didyoueatcandyorsomethingbeforebed,Billy?”
“Worms,”groanedBilly.“Worms?John!John!Billy,whatkindofworms?”“Regularworms,nightcrawlers.”
Shefelthisforehead,liftedhischintolookinhisface.“Youdon’thaveatemperature.Howmanywormsdidyoueat?”
“Five.Twoboiledandthreefried.Withketchup,mustard,horseradish,salt,pepper,butter.Tomakethemtastebetter.”
“Fried?Ketchup?Tastebetter?John!Wakeup.”“IhadthisbetwithAlan.Ohhhhh.”Hegroanedagain.“Takeyourhandsaway.Wheredoesithurtnow?Showme.”“Itdoesn’treallyhurtsomuchnow.It’sjustrumblingandgurgling
somethingawful.It’s—”“Thenwhyareyougroaning?”askedhisfather,sittingup.“BecauseI’mafraidit’sgoingtostarthurting.DoyouthinkI’mgoingto
die,Daddy?”“Worms?”hisfatherasked.“Ordinaryworms?Earthworms?”Billynodded.“Andhowmanydidyoueatthisevening?”“Onethisafternoon.I’veeatenoneeverydayforthelastfivedays.But
theyweren’tlittleones;theywerenightcrawlers,hugeones,asbigassnakesalmost.”
Hisfatherlaybackdown,pullingthecoversuparoundhisshoulders.“Don’tworry.Eatingonenightcrawleradayforsixweekswouldn’thurtyou.Gobacktobed.It’sprobablyalltheketchupandmustardthat’supsettingyourstomach.Drinkaglassofwarmwater.”
“John,areyousure?”saidBilly’smother.“Itdoesn’tseemtomethatwormscouldbeaveryhealthythingtoeat.John?”
Hisfathersnuggleddeeperunderthecovers.“Ididn’tsayeatingwormswouldturnhimintoanAll-Americanfullback.Ijustsaidtheywouldn’thurthim.Nowlet’sgotosleep.”
Billy’smotherglancedatBilly,shiveringbesidethebedinbarefeetandpajamas,andthenshookherhusbandagain.“John?John,wakeup.IthinkyoushouldcallDr.McGrath.Youdon’treallyknowwhetherornoteatingwormsisharmful.Iknowyoudon’t.”
Billy’sfathergroanedandsatup.“Now,look.IamnotgoingtocallDr.McGrathatthreethirtyinthemorningtoaskifit’sallrightformysontoeatworms.That’sflat.Secondly,IdoknowthatBilly’snotgoingtodiebeforemorning.Ifwormswerepoisonous,whichthey’renot,hewouldhavebeen
laidupbeforethis.Billy,you’vebeeneatingwormsforfivedays?”Billynodded.“Allright.Andthirdly,IatealivecrayfishwhenIwasincollegeand
havesufferednodiscernibleilleffects.Andfourthly:Iamgoingtosleep.”Billy’smotherslippedherfeetintoherslippers,stoodupandbuttonedher
bathrobe,andthenleanedoverthebedandshookherhusband’sshoulder.“John?John,Iwon’tbeabletosleepuntilyoucall.John?John,whatabouttapewormsorafungus?John?Wakeup.Billy,yougobacktobed.YourfatherwillcallDr.McGrath.John?John?”
Billylayinbedlisteningtohismotherandfatherarguingintheirbedroom.Hecouldonlymakeoutawordhereandthere,usuallywhenhisfatherstartedtoshout,onlytobeshushedimmediatelybyhismother.Billygotsleepierandsleepier.Hisstomachhadstoppedrumblingandgurgling.Itwaswarmandcozyunderthecoversafterstandingonthecoldfloorinhisbarefeet.Then,inthemidstofafoggydrowse,heheardsomeonedialingthephoneinthehalloutsidehisparents’bedroom,andthenhisfathersay,“PoisonControl?”andexplainthecase.
Thentherewasasilence.Billyheardthewaterrunninginthebathroom.Andthenhisfathersaid,“You’resure?Theseweren’tlittleones.Thesewerenightcrawlers.”Pause.“Andnolong-rangeilleffects?”Pause.Hisfatherlaughed.“Abet,Ithink.”
AndthenextthingBillyknew,sunlightwasstreamingthroughhiswindowandEmilywasskippingdownthehallpasthisdoorsinging,
“Halfapoundoftupennyrice,Halfapoundoftreacle,That’sthewaythemoneygoes—”
Hisfathershouteddownthestairs,“Helen,doyouknowwheremygreentiewiththeredstripesis?”
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XVI
TheSixthWorm
BILLYgulpedittriumphantly,serene,untroubled.BythedoorAlanglowered,hismindracing:He’sgonnadoit,he’llwin,
what’llIdo?Fiftydollars.Joesatonanoverturnedpail,whistling,gazingcarelesslyabout…
sneakingaglancenowandthenatBilly.Whathadgonewrong?Whyhadn’thecracked?
Outside,Tomlurkedsheepishlyinthebushesbehindthestonewall,peeringatthebarn.
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XVII
TheSeventhWorm
BILLYateitoffhand,sideways,readingacomicbook.AlanandJoesquattedglumlyinthebarndoor,watchinghim.AsBillywasdaubinghorseradishsauceonthelastbite,Tom’shead
appearedinacornerofthegrimywindow.HewavedtentativelyatBilly.Ignoringhim,Billygulpeddownthelastbite,wipedhismouth,and
tuckinghiscomicbookunderhisarm,strolledairilyoutofthebarn,remarkingoverhisshoulder,“Seeyoutomorrow,fellows.”
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XVIII
TheEighthWorm
WHERE’SJoe?”askedBilly,spreadingmustarddownthelengthofthefriedworm.
“Hewouldn’tcome,”saidAlansullenly.“It’snofairputtingonthatmuchmustard.”
“Ha,ha,”saidBilly.“Whosays?IcanputonasmuchasIlikeofwhateverIlike,andyouknowit.Whywouldn’thecome?”
“HowshouldIknow?”Billyswooshedabitofwormaroundinketchupandhorseradishsauce.“I
knowwhyhedidn’t.”“Yeah.You’resosmart.Bigdeal.”Alancouldn’tgetthefiftydollarsout
ofhishead.Whatwashisfathergoingtosaywhenhetoldhimhe’dbetfiftydollarsandlost?Geez!Hegnawedathisthumbnail.
“Hewouldn’tcomebecauseheknowsI’vewon.HeknowsIcouldeattwentywormsifIhadto.”
“Yeah?Yeah?Well,youain’twonyet.There’sstillseventogo.Youactsobig.Wait’llyoubegintofeelitinyourstomach.Youthinkyouknoweverything.Yeah.You’llsee.Youwait.”
“Ha,ha,”saidBilly.“Youthinkyoucanscaremetalkinglikethat?Phooey.”HestrolledpastAlanoutintothesunlight.
“Hi,”saidTom,poppingupfrombehindabarrel.“Pfffffft!”saidBillydisdainfullyandwalkedon.
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XIX
TheNinthWorm
THAT’Snotaworm!”yelledBilly.“Howcanitbeaworm?Geez,itmustbetwofeetlong!”
“It’saworm,”saidAlanstubbornly.“It’sjustlikealltheothers.Irolleditincornmealandfriedit.”
“It’sovertwofeetlong!”screechedBilly.Heknewsomethingwasup.OtherwiseJoewouldn’thavecomeback,
slouchinginthedoorwaypretendingtobegazingupattheclouds.ButBillynoticedhekeptglancingatAlanandhim.AndTomwaspeeringinthewindowagain.Somethingwasup.
“Look,”saidAlan.“I’llcutit.Youcanseeforyourselfit’saworm.There.See?Comeon.Eatup.Weain’tgotallday.JoeandmehavetogotoShushanwithhisfather.”
Billypokedatthehugewormwithhisfork.Somethingsurewasup.HeatethepieceAlanhadcut,lookingtherestofthewormovercarefullyashechewed.Heateanotherbite.Fauh!He’dforgottentodipitinthehorseradishsauce.
“Comeon,comeon,comeon,”saidAlan.“Yeah,”saidJoe.“Eatup,Billy,wegottogo.”I’llneverbeabletoeatthewholething,thoughtBilly.It’dchokeme;it’s
toomuchyuckatonce.“Half,”hecroaked.“I’lleathalf.Thisissomesortofaringer.There’s
neverbeenawormthislong.”“Okay,”saidAlan.“Thenthebet’soff.Suityourself.Comeon,Joe,he
chickenedout.Let’sgo.”“Allright,allright,”saidBilly,playingfortime.“Thewholething.”“You’llmakeyourselfsick,”saidAlan.He’stooanxious,thoughtBilly.What’sgoingon?
“Leavehimalone,”saidJoe.“Lethimeatit.It’shisstomach.”He’stryingtocoverforAlan,thoughtBilly.Heateanotherbite.Thenhe
begantoscrapethecornmealcarefullyoffthewormwithhisknife.“Whatareyoudoing?”saidAlan.“IthinkI’llhaveitplaintoday.Nocornmeal.”“That’snotfair!Youcan’t—”“Glue!”screamedBillyallofasudden.“Glue!Yougluedtwocrawlers
together!Geez!Youbunchoflousycheats!Tom!Tom,lookwhattheytriedtopull!Glue!”
Panting,Tombentovertheplate.“You’reright.Geez!”
Alankickedapailclatteringagainstthewall.“Itoldyouitwouldn’twork!”hescreamedatJoe.
“Allright.Soitdidn’twork.Youcouldn’tthinkofanythingbetter.”“That’scheating!”saidBilly.“Ioughttowinrightnow.Youcheated.”“Fifteenwormsinfifteendays!”yelledJoe.“Youain’twonyet!”“Butyoucheated!”shoutedTom.“Sowhat?”Theyarguedandyelled,stridinghereandthereaboutthebarn,sprawling
againstposts,flinginguptheirarms,kickingwalls,bangingdownonapailororangecrateandsqueezingtheirheadsbetweentheirhands.
“Itdoesn’tmakeanydifference!”JoeyelledatBilly.“Itdidn’twork!Youdidn’tfallforit!Ifyou’deatenthewholethingandthenfoundoutitwastwowormsgluedtogether,thenyoucouldhaveclaimedtowinbecauseAlanwascheating.”
“Bigmouth!”shoutedAlanfromthehorsestall,wherehewaskickingtheslatsin.“Whothoughtitup?Notme!”
“Whocareswhothoughtitup?”shoutedTom.“It’sstillcheating!”Apiglookedinatthedoorandthenwanderedaway.Joeranoutandstuckhisheadunderthefaucetbythekitchensteps.A
minutelaterhecamerunningbackdripping,yelling,“That’snottrue!”“What’snottrue?”saidBilly,turningaroundfromshoutingatAlan.“Whateveryousaid.”“What’dIsay?”“Itdoesn’tmakeanydifference.You’realiarandacheatandsoanything
yousayisn’ttrue.”“You’recrazy.EvenHitleror—orJacktheRipper—sometimessaid
thingsthatweretrue.It’simpossibletolieallthetime.”BehindthemTomlaydownonhisbackandsaid,“Arrgh!”AlanandJoeandBillyturnedtolookathim.“What’sthematterwithyou?”“ARRRGH!”“Argh?”“ARRRGH!”Silence.Abirdflewinandthenoutthroughabrokenwindowintheloft.“Well,”saidBilly.“Yeah.Iseewhatyoumean.”HeandAlanandJoesatdownontheoverturnedorangecrates.Aftera
whileJoesaid,“Anyway,Iwasright.IfBilly’deatenit,itwouldhavebeencheating.Buthedidn’t,soit’snot.Thebet’sstillon.”
Thepiglookedinatthedooragain.“Apig’sloose,”saidAlan.“Look.”“Where?”saidBilly.“Ohboy,comeon.Wegottacatchit.”Hejumped
up.Thepigbolted.“Whoooooeeeeee!”yelledBilly,dashingout.TomandJoeandAlan
XX
Billy’sMother
BILLYslumpedatthekitchentableononeelbow,pawinginhisbowlofWheatieswithhisspoon.Hismotherwaswashingthebreakfastdishesatthesink.
“Butwhyisn’titgoodtoeathotdogsforbreakfast?Iknownobodydoes.Butwhydon’tthey?”
“Oh,Billy,”saidhismother.“Stopit.Finishyourcereal.”“Well,but—”Aknockonthescreendoor.Billy’smotherglancedaround.“Oh,hello,Alan,Joe.Isyoursisterbetter,
Joe?”“Yes,thankyou.”“Billycan’tcomeoutuntilhe’sfinishedhisbreakfast.Wouldyouliketo
waitforhimonthefrontporch?”“Wecametoseeyou,Mrs.Forrester.”“Oh?Comein.”“Mrs.Forrester,”saidJoe,asAlanshutthedoorcarefullybehindthem.“I
don’tknowifyouknowaboutitalready,butsee,aboutaweekagoAlanmadethisbetwithBillyabouteatingworms.IfBillycouldeatfifteenworms,oneeachdayforfifteendays,then—”
“Billy!You’renotstilleatingthem?”BillystuffedaspoonfulofWheatiesintohismouth.“Notjustworms,Mom.Ibeeneatinglotsofotherstuff,too.Lookatme.
I’mhealthy.Dr.McGrathtoldyouthewormswouldn’thurtme.”“ButBilly,Dr.McGrathdidn’tthinkyouweregoingtokeeponeating
worms.”JoenudgedAlanandgrinned.“Aw,Mom,iffivewormswouldn’thurtme,afewmorewon’teither.
They’relittleworms.Besides,it’sabet.IfI—”“They’rebigworms,Mrs.Forrester,”saidJoe,lookingvirtuous.“We
won’tlietoyou.Mymothertoldmenevertotellalie.”“Manure,”saidBilly.“Mom,it’sabet.Itoldyou.IfIwin,Alan’sgotto
paymefiftydollars.”“Fiftydollars!Youngman,don’tyoumovefromthatchair.”Shewentoff
intothefronthall.“Finks!”whisperedBilly.“Butyou’llsee.Itwon’twork.”AlanandJoegazednonchalantlyattheceiling.Billy’smother’svoicecamefromthefronthall.“Dr.McGrath,I’m
awfullysorrytobotheryouagain,it’ssucharidiculousmatter,butsinceIspoketoyou,Billyhascontinuedtoeatworms.”Pause.“No,no,it’snothinglikethat.He’sactingperfectlynormalotherwise.Itseemshe’smadeabetwithsomeotherboys.”Pause.“Oneeveryday.Hehastoeatfifteentowinhisbet.”Pause.“Oh,thankyou,Dr.McGrath.I’msosorrytobother—”
Shereturnedtothekitchen.“Butnomorebetsafterthisone,Billy.AlanandJoe,don’tyouegghimonanymore.He’sfartooeagertodowildthings.”
BillyyukkedsilentlyatJoeandAlan.Alanmadearudegestureathim.“Mrs.Forrester,”saidJoe,“whatwereallycameaboutisthatAlanand
mearegoinguptoLakeLauderdaletodaywithmyfathertofish.Andwewon’tbebacktilltomorrownight,sowewonderedifyou’dmakesureBillyeatsthewormstodayandtomorrow.It’snotthatwedon’ttrustBilly,Mrs.Forrester—”
“No,”saidBilly’smother,smiling.“—butit’salwaysbetterifthere’sareferee.Youknow,likeMr.Simmons
saysatschool:tosaveargumentsandhardfeelings.Webroughtthetwoworms.”Heheldupapaperbag.“Weboiledthemalready,soyoucanjustkeepthemintherefrigerator.”
“Well,”saidBilly’smother.“Thisisquitearesponsibility.AreyousureI’llbeneutralenough?Iamhismother.”
“Yeah,wethoughtofthat,”saidJoe,“butwefigured,well,you’reusuallyprettyfair,andbesides,parentsalmostnevercheatkidsifit’sjustsomethingbetweenkids.They’reusuallyprettyfairuntiltheygetintoit.”
Billy’smotherlaughed.“Andhowdoesheeatthem?Justcoldboiled?”“Well,webeenfryingthem,Mrs.Forrester.Werollthemincornmealand
thenfrythemlikeafish.Buthecandowhateverhewants.ExceptthatAlanandmehavedecidedit’snotfairtomakesoupoutofthemorchopthemalluplikehashorachicken-saladsandwich.He’sgottoeatthempiecebypiece.”
“Whosaid?”yelledBilly.“Whenwasthateverintherules?”“Wesaid!”shoutedAlan.Billyjumpedup,kickinghischairover.“Well,thenIwin!Becauseit’s
cheatingtomakeupnewrulesinthemiddle.”“Oh,yeah?”shoutedAlan.“Thenyoulose!Becauseanybodyknowsit’d
becheatingtohashitup.”“Youthinkyou’regoingtoweaseloutofitafterI’vealreadyeatennine!”“Who’sweaseling?You’recheating!”“Yeah?”“Yeah!”“Boys!Boys!Billy!Alan!”Silence.“Please.NowBilly,Ithink—no,letmespeakfirst.IdothinkAlanand
Joeareright.Itwouldn’tbefairtocutthewormallup.Youcanjustthinkofsomeotherwayoffixingit.Thankyou,Joe.”
Shetookthepaperbagandlookedinside.“Pew.Billy,areyousure—”“Mom,you’veeateneels;youateeelslastsummerinLongIsland.These
arejustsmaller.They’rethesamething.”“Well.”Sheputthepaperbagintherefrigerator.“IguessifDr.McGrath
saysit’sallright.Nowwhydon’tyouallgooutside?”“Iwouldn’tgoacrossthestreetwiththosefinks,”saidBilly.“Theycan
—”“Yeah?”shoutedAlan.“Well,who’dwanttogoanywherewithyou,
either?”“Yeah?”shoutedBilly.“Boys!”criedMrs.Forrester.“Stopit!Allright.AlanandJoe,youhad
bettergo.”Thescreendoorbangedbehindthem.“Pffffft!”saidBillyscornfully.Joe’sfaceappearedatthescreen.“Thanksforsayingyou’llhelpout,Mrs.
Forrester.”
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XXI
TheTenthWorm
WHAT’Sfordinner?”saidBilly’sfather,comingintothekitchen.“Well,”saidBilly’smother.“YouandIandEmilyarehavinghamburgers
andstringbeansandmashedpotatoes.Billyishavingafriedworm.”“Moreworms?Thebet’sstillon?”“Look.”ShetookasmallplatecoveredwithSaranWrapoutofthe
refrigerator.“Andyou’veeatennineofthesealready,Billy?”Hepokedtheworms
curiously.“Whatdoyoudo,usealotofketchupandmustard?”Billynodded.“Andhorseradishandotherthings.Andwefrythem.”Billy’sfatherliftedacorneroftheSaranWrapandsmelledtheworms.
“Helen,yououghttobeabletodobetterthanfried.Useyourcookbooks.”“I’mnotthecook.I’mjustthereferee.”“Oh,comeon.Thinkofthechallenge.”Hetookacookbookfromtheshelfunderthespicerack.“Let’ssee.
MasteringtheArtofFrenchCooking.”Heleafedthroughthecookbook.“Here.HowaboutPoachedEelsonToast?”
“No,”saidBilly’smother.“Itcallsforchoppinguptheeelinlittlepieces,andthatwouldbeagainsttherules.”
“HowaboutSpaghettiwithWormballsthen?OraSavoryWormPie?CreamedWormsonToast?SpanishWorm?WormloafwithMushroomSauce?”
“Wait,”saidBilly’smother,puttingdownhercookingspoon.“Itmightjust—”Shetookthecookbookandturnedtotheindex.“Here.”Sheread:“AlsatianSmotheredWorm:dredgethewormwithseasonedflour.Sauteinthreetablespoonsdrippingsuntilbrowned.Coverwithslicedonions,pouroveronecupthicksourcream,coverpotclosely,andbakeinaslowovenuntiltender.”
“Bravo,”saidBilly’sfather.“Putthehamburgersbackintherefrigerator.We’llallhavewormtonight.”
“Iwon’t,”saidEmily.“Ha,”saidBilly,grinninginthemidstofchewing.“Boy,AlanandJoe
thoughttheyweredoingmeinwhentheycametoyou,Mom,butthisisbetterthansteak.Itreallytastesgood.”
“Yug,”mutteredEmily,makingaface.“Letmehaveataste,”saidBilly’sfather.“No,no,”saidhismother.“Billyhastoeateverybithimself.Alanand
Joewereveryfirmaboutthat,andI’mthereferee.”“Boy,”saidBilly.“Idon’tmindifittasteslikethis.”
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XXII
TheEleventhWorm
HOW’Dyoudoit?”saidBilly.“What’sitcalled?”“Myword,”saidhisfather.“Gosh,Mrs.Forrester,”gaspedTom.OnasilverdishinfrontofBillylayanice-creamcakebathedinfruit
syrups—peach,cherry,tutti-frutti,candiedorange—toppedwithwhippedcreamsprinkledwithjellybeansandalmondslivers.
“It’scalledaWhizbangWormDelight,”saidBilly’smotherproudly.“I
madeitup.”“Isthewormreallyinthere?”saidBilly,pokingaboutwithhisspoon.
Andthen,scrapingawayabitofwhippedcreamatoneend,heglimpsedtheworm’ssnoutprotrudingfromthecenterofthecake.
“Snugasabuginarug,”saidhismother.“Istillwouldn’teataworm,”saidEmily,eyeingtheWhizbangWorm
Delightwithenviousdistaste.“Iwould,”saidTom.“Atleast,maybeIwould.”
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XXIII
AdmiralsNagumoandKusakaontheBridgeoftheAkaiga,December6,1941
ITwon’twork.”“Look,”saidJoe,“evenifheremembersthewormwhilewe’reatShea,
hecan’tgetone.Where’sanyonegoingtofindawormatSheaStadium?Don’tworry,we’llsay,you’vewon;we’llfindawormafterwegethome.Andwekeeprightonstuffinghim:peanuts,hotdogs,hamburgers,CrackerJack,icecream,orangesoda,gum,MarsBars.Youknowhowhelovestoeat.Youeverseenhimrefusesomethingtoeat?Bythetimewestarthomehe’llbebloated,drowsy,belching.Rememberthelasttime?Whenhisfathertookus?HewasasleepbythetimewehitPeekskill.Yourfather’llcarryhiminfromthecar;hismotherandfather’llputhimtobed;nextmorninghe’llwakeup—TOOLATE!You’vewon!Fifteenwormsinfifteendays!Hemissedaday!”
Alangnawedathisthumbnail.“WhataboutTom?”“We’llaskhimalongandthenjustnotpickhimup.Wecantellyour
fatherandBillythatTom’smothercalled,hewassick,hisgrandmotherdied,anything,justsowedon’thavetobringhimwithus.”
Alansighed.“Geez,it’llprobablycostmeeightdollarsjusttobuyallthatfood—CrackerJack,hamburgers—”
“Yeah,butit’llcostyoufiftydollarsifhewins.”“Yeah,well—ohGeez,how’dIevergetintothis?Ifmyfatherfindsout
—”Alanslumpedontheporchsteps,gazingdownathissneakers,gnawing
histhumbnail.“Comeon,”saidJoe,slappinghimontheshoulder.“Cheerup.You
haven’tlostyet.Goaskyourfather.”
XXIV
TheTwelfthWorm
YOUthinkAlanreallymeantitwhenhesaidhe’dgivenup?”askedBilly,turningdowntheflameunderthefryingpan.Hewascookingatoasted-cheese-and-wormsandwich.
“Idon’tknow,”saidTom,lookingintherefrigerator.“Isupposeso.HeaskedustotheMetsgame—Say,isthatchocolatepudding?”
“Yeah,butdon’ttakeany.It’sforsupper.”“Icouldjustscrapesomeoffthetop,andthenyoucouldtellyourmother
itfelloutupsidedownonthefloorbymistakewhileyouweregettingthecheeseout,soyouscrapedthedirtypartoffintothegarbage.”
“Welllll—”saidBillydoubtfully.“ThomasGrout,”saidBilly’smother,cominginfromthehall.“I’m
surprisedatyou.”“Aw,Mrs.Forrester,Iwouldn’treallyhavedoneit.Iwasjust,youknow,
talking.Everybodytalks:myfather,Billy’sfather,Billy,mysistersAnnie,Charlotte,Polly—”Hewasbackingtowardthedoor.“—Betty,Agnes,Columbus—”
“Ididn’tknowyouhadasisternamedColumbus,Tom,”saidBilly’smother.“Wouldyoulikesomechocolateicecreaminstead?”
“Oh,sure,Mrs.Forrester,”saidTom,relieved.Hesatdownatthetable.“It’smycousinwho’snamedColumbus.”Hegrinned.“ColumbusOhio.He’sacapitalfellow,Mrs.Forrester.”
Andthenhehadtograbtheedgeofthetabletokeepfromrollingoffhischairlaughingathisownjoke.Billylookeddisgusted.Hismotheropenedtherefrigerator,shakingherhead.
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XXV
PearlHarbor
THEcarslidquietlytoastopunderthestreetlightoutsideBilly’shouse.“Shhh,”whisperedAlantohisfather.“Billy’sasleep.”HisfatherglancedbackatBilly,snoringpeacefullyinthebackseat,his
plumpcheeksstickywithorangesoda.“Alan,runuptothehouseandtellthemI’mbringingBillyin.”Billy’sfathermetthematthefrontdoor,andtakingBilly,whisperedhis
thanks.Alanandhisfatherwentdownthewalk.Behindthemtheporchlightclickedoff.
***
InthebackseatofthecarJoeandAlanwrestledgleefully.“Wedidit!”“We’vewon!”“He’llneverwakeupnow!”AlanstruggledoutofJoe’sgripandaskedhisfatherwhattimeitwas.“Late.Almostmidnight,Ithink.”JoepulledAlan’sheaddownandtriedtositonit.“Hecouldn’tdoitnowevenifhewokeup.Howcouldhefindandcook
andeataworminthedark?Hee,hee.We’vewon!We’vewon!”
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XXVI
Guadalcanal
BUTslumpedonthebathroomstool,hismotherholdinguphischinwhileshewashedhisface,Billywaswaking.
“Holdstill,dear.Didyouhaveagoodtime?You’recertainlyhomelate.Isthispartofwinningthebet?”
Billy’seyesblinkedsleepily.Hehadagnawingfeelinghehadforgottensomething.Hehiccupped,gazingdopilydownatthefuzzybluebathmat…yawned…He’drememberinthemorning.Itcouldn’tbethatim—
BET!?!
BET!?!
Hehadn’twonyet!Therewerestillthreetogo!Fifteen!Fifteenwormsinfifteendays!Todaywas…
Hejumpedup.“Mom,Ihaven’teatenmywormtoday!”Andsuddenlyitallcametohim.Thewholetrip…allthecandybars,hot
dogs,hamburgers,popcorn.“Whattimeisit,Mom?Quick!”“Aboutquartertotwelve.”“Itwasatrick!”Hesnatchedhispantsoffthefloor.“Theyweretryingto
makemeforget!”Hetumbledandsliddownstairs,throughthediningroom,hisshirttailflying,yankedopenthedrawerinthekitchentable,snatchedouttheflashlight,thedrawerspillingoutwithaclatterandcrashontothefloor,andslammedoutthebackdoor.
“Thefinks!”HescuttledacrossthebackfieldtowardTom’shouse,searchingthe
groundwiththeflashlightashewent.“There!Darn,astick!Geez,supposeIcan’tfindone?”
Hestopped.“Therewon’tbetimetocookit!”Heranon.“Andnoketchup.”Hestopped.“I’llbetTomwasn’tsickatall.”Heranon.Thenightwasmoonlessandclose.Hepausedtoheaveovera
rottenloginthehigh,dewygrass—mealybugsandscooters—clamberedoverthestonewallintoTom’sbackyard…andwasallofasuddenwrestlingwithapuptent.
Muffledgruntsandthrashings.“Tom!”heyelled.“Tom!It’sme!Billy!They’retryingtotrickus.”TomandhisyoungerbrotherPetecrawledoutfromunderthepuptent.“Itwasatrick,”pantedBilly.“AlanandJoeweretryingtomakeme
forget.Fifteenwormsinfifteendays.IfIdon’teatoneinthenexttenminutes,Alan’llsayhe’swon.It’salmostmidnight.”
“AndtheyleftmehomesoIwouldn’tremindyou?”Billynodded.“Haveyougotaworm?”“We’llhavetofindone.”Tomdugbackintothepuptentandcameupwithtwoflashlights.They
zigzaggedbackandforthacrossthelawn,bentover,searching.
“Igotone!”criedPete.“Shhh.”“I’llhavetoeatitraw,”saidBilly.Hethrewbackhishead.“Wait,”whisperedTom,grabbinghisarm.“YoushoulddoitwhereAlan
andJoecanseeyou.Pete,runandgetyoursirenoutofthegarage.”
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XXVII
TheThirteenthWorm
UNDERthestreetlightinfrontofAlan’shouseTomandPetekneltoverthesiren.Billystoodbesidethem,thenightcrawlersquirminginhisfingers.
“Nowwaittilllotsoflightscomeonallover,inallthehouses,”saidTom.“Thenchompitdown.Ready,Pete?Now.”
Thesirengrowled,windingslowlyupandupuntilitSCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECHED!acrossthesleeping
neighborhood,sendingbirdssquawkingandchirpingintotheairfromtreesandrooftops;dogsbegantobark;windowslitup;therewereconfusedshouts,bangsofwindowsslammingup.
“Ladiesandgentlemen,”shoutedTomthroughthedyingwhineofthesiren,“AlanPhelpsandJosephO’Hara,throughtheirfinkinessandcheating,theirliesanddirty—”
“Comeon,”mutteredBilly,hisheadthrownback,danglingthewormoverhisopenmouth.“Wehaven’tgotmuchtime.”
“AlanPhelpsandJosephO’Hara,”shoutedTom,“haveforcedustowakeyouallupsothatyoumaynowwitness,ta-ratta-ta-ratta-ta-ratta-ta-ta:THEEATINGOFTHETHIRTEENTHWORM!”
Hedroppedtohisknees;thesirenwoundslowlyuptoaSCREECH!Billydroppedthecrawlerintohismouthandchewedfuriously,hiseyesclosed;felltohisknees,stillchewing,hisfaceturningbeet-red;toppledoveronhisside,stillchewing;rolledandwrithedaboutthesidewalk,clutchinghisstomach,stillchewing—TomandPetekneelingbythestreetlight,workingthescreamingsiren….
Billythrewopenhisarmsandlaystillonhisbackundertheglareofthestreetlight,hismouthwideopen.
Thethreeboysranoffintothedarkness.Astheywent,Tomyelled,“Remember:AlanPhelpsandJosephO’Hara.”
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XXVIII
Hello,We’re….
Aconfusedmurmuraroseupanddownthestreet.SuddenlyaboyshoutedfromthePhelps’shouse.
“Finks!”Alan’sfatherdraggedhimbackfromthewindow.“IsthatwhyyouwerestuffingBillywithcandyandjunkallday?”“Leavemealone.Yeah.Weweretryingtotrickhim.Thefink.FINKS!”
heyelledatthetopofhisvoice,lungingtowardthewindow.“Quiet!”Hisfathersathimdownhardinachair.Joepeeredfurtivelyoutthroughthefringeofthebedspread.Assoonas
hehadheardthesirenandTom’syells,hehadcrawledunderthebed.“Andthat’swhyBillywokethewholeneighborhoodup?toshowyouhe
hadn’tbeentricked?”“Yes.”HisfatherletgoofAlan’spajamacollar.InthedoorwayAlan’smother
threwupherhandsandwentofftothebathroomtotaketwoaspirin.ThenextdayAlanandJoetrampedfromhousetohouseinthe
neighborhood,knockingoneachdoorandthenrecitinginchorus:“Hello.We’reAlanPhelpsandJosephO’Hara.We’rethereasonyou
werewakedupinthemiddleofthenightlastnight,andwe’resorry.”Breath.“You’llbehappytoknowourparentshavepunisheduswecan’tlookattelevisionorhaveanydessertforamonthandourallowanceshavebeentakenawayfortwoweekswepromisethatitwillneverhappenagain.”
“Atleastnotinthisneighborhood,”mutteredJoeasthelastdoorclosedbehindthem.
“AndAlan,”saidhisfatheratdinnerthatnight,“Idon’twanttohearthattherehasbeenanyrepetitionofthisincidentatBilly’sorTom’shouseor
anywhereelse.Doyouunderstandthat?”“Butwecan’tletthemgetawaywithit,Mr.Phelps,”calledJoefromthe
livingroom,wherehewaswaitingforAlantofinishdinner.“Therewillbenorepetitionofthisincidentoranythinglikeit,”repeated
Mr.Phelps.“YoutriedtotrickBillyandlost.Thatwillbetheendofthematter.”
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XXIX
YOUknowwhatyouare?”saidAlan,hisnosealmosttouchingBilly’s.“You’reabastard.”
“Andyou’reanother,”sneeredBillythroughclenchedteeth.“Andacheating,lying,dirty,snot-nosed,cheating,lyingone.”
“Ifyousaytwomorewords,”saidAlan,“youknowwhat?I’llbeatyourheadin.”
Billybreathedhard.“I’mrightbehindyou,”mutteredTom,peeringgrimlyoverBilly’s
shoulder,hisfistsclenched.“Yeah?”saidJoefrombehindAlan.“Sowhat?Wecanlickbothofyou
withourhandstiedbehindourbacksandpaperbagsoverourheads.”“Youcouldn’tlickaflea.”“Yeah?”“Yeah.”
Spiffle!
Whack!
Thump!
“Someone’schoking!Nofair!”
Thwomp!
Gouge!
Joecrawledoffbehindatree,nosebleeding.
Womp!
“He’spullinghair!”“He’sscratching!”
Twist!Tsiwt!
Alancrawledweepingbehindabush.Thump!Whack!Donk!“Billy!It’sjustyouandme!”
“Where’retheothers?”TomandBillyuntangledandsatup,bruised,scratched,dusty,shirtstorn,
hairtousled.Tom’snosewasbleeding,Billy’sshoehadcomeoff.“Yaaaaaaaya!”sassedAlanandJoefrombehindthetree.Billystartedtoshakehisfistatthemandclamberup,butthensankback.
Tompantedbesidehim,bleary-eyed.“Yaaaaaaaya,allwornout?Can’tfightanymore?”
AlanscoopedupahandfulofmudandflungitatTomandBilly.ThenJoedidthesame.Billyand
Tomscrambledupandpeltedback.Mudsplatteredagainsttreesandbushes.Alanbegantocry.ArockhitBillyovertheeye.Hesatdownbackwardinthemud,coveringhisheadwithhisarms,sobbing.JoeandTomstoppedthrowing.JoegrabbedAlan.“Comeon.”
TomkneltbesideBilly.“Lemmesee,Billy.Isitbad?TakeyourarmsawaysoIcansee.”HetriedtopullBilly’sarmsapart.Billywrenchedaway.
“Comeon,”saidTominascaredvoice.“I’lltakeyouhome.Comeon.Yourmothercantakeyoutothedoctor.”
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XXX
ThePeaceTreaty
ALANandJoesatonthesofa,TomandBillyontwostraightchairsoppositethem.
“Now,”saidAlan’sfather.“What’sthisallabout?”Thefourboysallbegantalkingatonce,accusing,recounting,explaining.“Allright,”saidAlan’sfatherafterawhile.“That’senough.Nowwe
knowit’sgotsomethingtodowiththisbetAlanandBillymade,butMr.O’HaraandIaren’tgoingtogetinvolvedinthat.You’llhavetosettlethatamongyourselves.”
“Youfourboyshavebeenfriendstoolongtostartfightingnow,”saidMr.O’Hara.“Youreallyhurteachother.Lookatyourselves,yourfacesallbruisedandmuddy.Talkitover,workthingsout,andthenyoucanshakeandbefriendsagain.”
Joemutteredunderhisbreath,“Icouldn’tbefriendswiththoserats.”“We’llbeoutinthekitchen,”saidAlan’sfather.“Whenyou’vesettledit,
callus,andwe’llallgodowntoFriendly’sforsomeicecream.Okay?”BillyandAlanandTomnodded.Thetwofatherslefttheroom.Theboys
gazedsilentlyateachother.Afterawhile,Alansaid,“Itwasn’tusthatscratchedTom.Billydidit.”
Anothersilence.“Didyouhavestitches?”BillyaskedAlan.“Naw.Didyou?”Billyshookhishead.Moresilence.“Youtriedtocheat,”saidBilly.“Thatwasn’tcheating.Wewerejusttryingtotrickyou.”“Yeah,butbeforethat.Whenyougluedthetwowormstogether.Thatwas
cheating.”
“Youwouldhavecheated,too,ifyou’dbeenlosing.”Billythoughtaboutit.“Okay.Butlook,nomorecheating.I’vealreadyeatenthirteenworms;
youknowIcaneattwomore.Heck,ifIbuyGeorgeCunningham’sbrother’sminibike,wecanalluseit—we’llallhavefunwithit.”
JoeandAlanglancedateachother.“Okay,”saidJoe.“Youwin.Hewins,Alan.”“Yeah,but—”“What’stheuse?”saidJoe.“We’vetriedeverything.I’msickofit.Geez,
we’vedonenothingelseforalmosttwoweeks.”Alanscratchedhiseyebrow,glancingatJoe.“Yeah,but—”Joestoodup.“Comeon.Atleastwe’llgetamilkshakeoutofit.”
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XXXI
TheLetter
BILLYliftedthewormoutofthefryingpanwiththecookingtongsandcurleditbackandforthonhispeanut-buttersandwich.
“Ibettheytrysomething,”hesaid,“Joewon’tgiveup.Alanmight,butJoewon’t.”
Tomwascarvinghisinitialsinthelegofthekitchentable.“Yeah,butit’snotJoe’sbet.Whatdoeshecare?”
“JustthesameIbethetriessomething.”Billysatdownatthetable,turningthesandwichthiswayandthat,
lookingforthebestspottotakethefirstbite.Emilycameinfromthediningroom.“Youandmomgotaletter.”Chewing,Billyopenedit.
XXXII
Croak
HIShandtrembling,Billylaidthepeanut-butter-and-fried-wormsandwichdownonthetable.
“Doyouthink—”“Wow,”whisperedTom.Thescreendoorbanged.Billy’sfathercameintothekitchen,histieloosened,hisjacketoverhis
arm.Helaidhisbriefcaseonthetable.“It’shot,”hesaidcheerfully.Billystaggeredtothesinkandfeeblydrewhimselfaglassofwater.TomandEmilywatchedhim,awestruck.“What’sthematter?”askedBilly’sfather.WaterdribbleddownBilly’schinandontohisT-shirtashedrank.His
mindswam.Poison?Paralysis?Extremelussitude?“Tom,”saidBilly’sfather,“what’sgoingon?”Tompointedattheletterlyingonthetable.Billy’sfatherreadit,smiled,glancedatBilly,andgettingabeeroutofthe
refrigerator,satdownatthetable.“Well,”hesaidtoBilly.“Soitfooledyou,eh?”“Fooledme?”croakedBilly.
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XXXIII
TheFourteenthWorm
BUThowcouldAlanandJoeknowallthosemedicalwords,Mr.Forrester?”saidTom.“Lumbricuscoreopsis?Fulmar?”
“Doyouknowwhatfulmarreallymeans?”TomandBillyshooktheirheads.“Itmeansabird,aseabird,Ithink.”“Boy,”saidBilly,disgusted.Hesatbackdownatthetableandpickedup
hissandwich.“Theycouldbearrested,Mr.Forrester,”saidTom.“Couldn’ttheybe
arrestedfordefraudingthemails?Couldn’tthey?”Billygrinnedandbitdownonthepeanut-butter-and-fried-worm
sandwich.
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XXXIV
TheFifteenth….
STANDINGonarustypail,Billypeeredthroughacrackintothehorsebarn.Joewaswanderingaboutlashingatcobwebswithastick;Alanwasslumpedonabarrel,gnawinghisthumbnail.
Billywentaroundtothedoor.“Hi,”hesaid.Alandidn’tlookup.“Hi,”saidJoe.Billyglancedaroundsuspiciously.“Takeiteasy,”saidJoe.“Weconcede.AtleastIdo.He’sstilltryingto
thinkupsomething.”HepointedatAlanwiththestick.“Where’sTom?”saidBilly.“Hewouldn’teathislunch,sohismotherkepthimin.”Billyleanedovertheplatterontheorangecrateandsmelledthesteaming,
Southern-friedworm.“Hewantedtoloaditwithredpepper,”saidJoe,“butIwouldn’tlethim.”Billyforkedketchup,mustard,andpiccalilliontotheplatter,cutapiece
ofworm,dippeditintheglop,stuckitinhismouth,chewednervously…swallowed…cutanotherpiece….Thewormtastedbetterthanusual,sortoflikekidneybeans,Southern-friedkidneybeans.
“Where’dyougetthisone?”“DownbehindBannerman’s,”saidJoe.“Fromthemuck!”yelledAlan.“Themuck!Gooey,slimy,stagnantmuck!”Billygrinned.“Yeah?You’llhavetoshowme.Thisisthebestoneyet.”Alanjumpedupandkickedthebarrelclatteringintoastall.Joeshrugged
atBilly,grinning.Billyheldupthelastbite.“Ta-rahhhh.”Heswallowedit.
“Okay,lemmelook,”saidAlan.“Comeon.”HepeeredintoBilly’smouth.
“Oh,no.Comeon.There’ssomestillstuckbetweenyourteeththere.”Billysuckednoisilyathisteeth.“Okay?”Alan’sshouldersslumped.“Ican’tgetthemoneytilltomorrow,”hesaid.“Oh,geez.YouknowI’ll
havetoworkSaturdaysforsixmonthstopayitback.”Hetrudgedslowlytowardthedoor.“Comin’,Joe?”“Yeah,maybeyourfatherwon’tactsobadifI’mtherewhenyoutell
him.”Alanstoppedinthedoor.“Tomorrow?”hesaidwithoutturning.“Teno’clock?”Hesoundedasifhewasgoingtocry.“Yeah,sure,”saidBilly.“Makeitlaterifyouwant.”“Naw.It’snotgoingtodoanygoodputtingitoff.Comeon,Joe.”
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XXXV
Burp
LEFTaloneinthebarn,Billyhuggedhimself.“Iwon!Iwon!Fiftydollars.Ha,ha.”Hesatdownonthecrate,grinning.“Heck,IknewIcoulddoit.Ha.Iwassoscaredatfirst,waking
everybodyupinthemiddleofthenight.”Heburped—beans.“Ishouldhavemadeitthirtywormsandonehundreddollars.Thatstupid
letter.Joeknewwhenhewaslickedthough.Ha.Geez.”BEANS?!!?Hestoodup.Howcomethatburphadtastedlikebeans?He’dhadahamburgerfor
lunch.Andaglassofmilk.Thentheworm.Say…theycouldn’thave…?Hesnatcheduptheplatter.Nothingleft,justafewcrumbsofcornmeal.
Craninghisneck,hiseyesbuggingout,straining,he…he…burped:beans!Again:beans!Heburstoutofthebarn,stumblingoverthesill,yelling.Acrossthefield
JoeandAlanturned.Alanstartedtorun;Joegrabbedhisarm.“Itwasafake!”pantedBilly,cominguptothem.“Youfakedit!Itwasn’t
arealworm!”“Realworm?”saidJoe.“What’reyoutalkingabout?”“Youmadeaworm!”yelledBilly.“Outofbeans!Thentomorrowyou
weregoingtosayI’dlost,Ihadn’teatenfifteenworms—thelastonewasfake.”
“Oh,geez,”saidAlan.“Comeon,willya?”“Hedidn’tdoitwhileIwasaround,”saidJoe.“Yousure?What’dyou
haveforlunch?”“Ahamburgerandmilk.”
“Yeah,butwhere’dyougetthehamburger?”“Idon’tknow.Mymotherboughtit.Whatdifferencedoesthatmake?”“Yeah,well,alotofthehamburgyougetthesedayshasstuffmixedinit.
Youknow,sausagemeat,soybeans,breadcrumbs.Sothebutchermakesmoremoney.”
“Yeah,yeah,yeah,”saidBilly.“Sure.Butanyway,youcomeonback.Justtomakesure,I’mgoingtoeatanotherworm.”
“Geez,suityourself.Eatfourmore.Comeon,Alan,let’sgo.Lethimeatwhathewants.”
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XXXVI
TheFifteenthWo….
BILLYthrewbackhishead,loweredtheworm…Alanchargedaroundthedoor!leapedonBilly’sback!flunghimtotheground!punching!yelling!…jumpedup!grabbedBilly’sfeet!draggedhimbump-bump-bumpacrosstheroughchaffyfloortothetoolcloset!bundledhiminside!slammedthedoor!lockedit!
Silence.Watertricklingintothetroughoutside,Alanpanting….“What’reyougonnadowithhim?”Joeaskedhoarselyfromthedoorway.
“IFHE’SINTHECLOSET,HECAN’TEATTHEWORM,CANHE?”“You’recrazy.He’llstarttoyell.Hisparents’llhearhim.”“YEAH?YEAH?”Alan’shairwasmussed;hisshirttailhungout.“Yeah,”saidJoe,eyeinghim.“Hewill.He’llstarttoyellandhis
parents’llhearhim.”Alanglancedwildlyabout…startedtowardthedoor…turned….“Notifweputhimdownthecistern.”“Thecistern?”Joewipedhismouth.“Alan,cutitout.It’sonlyfifty
dollars.Comeon.Faceit.You’velost.Youcan’tputBillydowninthatcisternallbyhimself.Supposethere’swaterinit?It’sfifteenfeetdeep.”
“Wecanlowerhimdownwitharope.”BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!Billywaskickingthetool-closetdoor.“LEMMEOUT!HELP!LEMMEOUT!IT’SCHEATING!HELP!I
wannagetout,Iwannagetout,Iwannagetout—”BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!Hechantedrhythmically,kickingthedoorwithbothfeetintimewithhis
chant.Alanranacrossthebarnandgrabbingholdofabeam,skiddingtoastop,
begantokickasidethehayandtrashwhichlitteredtheplanksovertheoldcistern.
BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!“Iwannagetout,Iwannagetout,Iwannagetout—”“Comeon!”AlanyelledatJoe.“Helpme!Wewerealldowninitlast
year.How’sitgonnahurthim?Comeon.It’llwork.I’llsplitwithyou.Getsomerope.”
BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!“Iwannagetout,I—”
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XXXVII
OutoftheFryingPanintotheOven
ONhisknees,yankingattheplankswhichcoveredtheoldcistern,thinking,I’vegothim.I’vegothim.Iwin.He’llnever…Alanfeltahandgriphisshoulder,glancedup….
“WHATTHEDEVILISGOINGONINHERE?”Mr.Forrestershouteddownathim.
BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!“Iwanna—”
***
Aconfusedbabbleofvoices,dyingoutsuddenly.“Now,”saidMr.Forrester.“AlanandJoe:home!Scoot.”AlanandJoecrowdedoutthedoor.“I’vewon!”crowedBilly.Hedancedtowardtheplatter.“Nothingcan—”“Billy!Uptoyourroom!”“Ijustgottoeatthisworm,Dad.Ho,ho,I’vewon!I’vewon!”“BILLY!UptoyourROOM!”“Dad,I—”Hisfatherpointed.“Dad,ifIdon’teatwhat’sleft,I’lllose;Alan’llwin.It’sjusttwo—”“Now.Thebetisover.YouknowwhatI’vetoldyouaboutthatcistern.
NOW!”“Dad,I’lllose!I’lllose!Alan’ll—”“Thenyouwilllearnsomething.March!”“YoumeanIcan’teveneatthatlastlittlebit?Howlongcouldittakeme?
Whatcould—”“Billy.Now.”
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XXXVIII
$%//!?Blip*/&!
BILLYkickedthebed.He’dwon.Allhe’dhadtodowaseattwomorebites,twobites.Hekickedthewall.What’dhisfathergottensomadfor?Alanhadstartedopeningthecistern,
nothim.Geez,hehadn’tevenlethimexplain.Twice.Twicehe’dwonandthen
somethinghadhappened.Andnowhewasgoingtolose?Afterallhe’dgonethrough?Nightmares,
fights,thinkinghe’dbeenpoisoned?Allfornothing?Hekickedthebed.
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XXXIX
TheUnitedStatesCavalryRidesovertheHilltop
MRS.FORRESTER?”saidTom,peeringthroughthescreendoor.“CouldIseeBillyforaminute?”
“He’supinhisroombeingpunished,Tom.HeandJoeandAlanwereverynaughtythisafternoon.”
“Yeah?”saidTom.“Nokidding?What’dtheydo?”
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XL
TheFifteenthWorm
BILLYkickedthewallagain.Twominutes.Whatdifferencecouldtwominuteshavemade?Heleanedhisforeheadagainstthewindowpane,gazingdejectedlyout
intothebackyard.
That’swhatalwayshappened—somebody…Tom’syoungerbrotherPeteappearedsuddenlyaroundthecornerofthe
house,running,holdingupalittleyellowEasterbasket…gesturing?THEWORM!TOM!Petehadbroughthimaworm!Thefifteenthworm!Billyslammedupthewindow.“Catch!”yelledPete.“Hurry!Tom’stalkingtoyourmother!”HeheavedabrickwithastringtiedtoituptoBilly;Billycaughtit,
hauledthestringuphandoverhand,thebasketcamebobbingupthesideofthehouse.AlanandJoeplungedoutofthebushes….BillysnatchedthetincanoutoftheEasterbasket,pluckedoutahuge,squirmingnightcrawler…
“MRS.FORRESTER!MRS.FORRESTER!”AlanandJoeshoutedatthetopoftheirlungs,dancingaboutonthelawn,
wavingtheirarms.
“MRS.FORRESTER!MRS.FORRESTER!”“TOOLATE!”yelledBillygleefully.Throwingbackhishead,hedroppedthesquirmingnightcrawlerintohis
mouth…chewedandchewed.TomandMrs.Forresterappearedaroundthecornerofthehouse.
“Tooglate!”Billyyelled,stillchewing.“Tooglate!Igwin!”Hedisappearedfromthewindow…adoorslammedinsidethehouse,a
tramplingonthestairs…heburstoutthekitchendoor…aflyingleapoffthebacksteps.Herolled,scrambledup,yelling,“Iwin!Iwin!Iwin!”grabbedTom’shands.Theydancedroundandroundandround,Petecavortingbesidethem.
JoeandAlanslunkoffthroughthebushes.…roundandroundandround…Billy’smotherlaughedandwentintothekitchen.…roundandroundandround…tilltheycollapsedontheirbacksinthe
grass.“Iwin,”gaspedBillytotheblue,cloudlesssky.“Iwin.”
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XLI
Epilogue
BILLYleanedtheminibikeagainstatreeandstarteddownthepaththroughthewoods.TomandJoewerealreadysittingbyasmolderingtrashfireontheriverbank,openingtheirlunchbags.
“Where’sAlan?Atthestore?”askedBilly,floppingdownbyTom.“Yeah,”saidJoe.“He’sstillgottwoweekstogo.”“Whathaveyougotforlunch?”askedTom.Billylookedembarrassed.“Worm-and-eggonrye.”“Heck,”saidTom.“Whycan’tyoueverbringsomethingsomebodyelse
likes,soyoucantrade?”Billyfrowned.Heopenedhislunchbag.“Idon’tknow.Ijustcan’tstop.Idon’tdaretellmymother.Ievenlikethe
tastenow.”Hescratchedhishead.“Doyouthinkthere’ssomethingthedoctorsdon’tknow?DoyouthinkIcouldbethefirstpersonwho’severbeen
AbouttheAuthors
ThomasRockwellistheauthorofanumberofbooksforyoungreaders.HewastherecipientoftheMarkTwainAward,theCaliforniaYoungReaderMedal,andtheSequoyahAwardforHowtoEatFriedWorms.HelivesinPoughkeepsie,NY.
EmilyArnoldMcCullywontheCaldecottMedalforMiretteontheHighWire,andhasillustratedoveronehundredbooksforyoungreaders.Hernonfictionworkforyoungadults,IdaM.Tarbell:TheWomanWhoChallengedBigBusiness--andWon!,wasafinalistfortheYALSAAwardforExcellenceinNonfiction.EmilydivideshertimebetweenNewYorkCityandChatham,NewYork.
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Copyright©1973byThomasRockwellIllustrations©1973byEmilyMcCully
Allrightsreserved.PublishedbyScholasticInc.,Publisherssince1920.SCHOLASTICandassociatedlogosaretrademarksand/orregisteredtrademarksofScholasticInc.
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Thisbookisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,places,andincidentsareeithertheproductoftheauthor’simaginationorareusedfictitiously,andanyresemblancetoactualpersons,livingordead,businessestablishments,events,orlocalesisentirelycoincidental.
Firstedition,1973FirstScholasticebookedition,2016
CoverdesignbyElizabethB.Parisi
e-ISBN978-1-338-13282-3
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