Download - Grief & mourning workshop 01 20 09
GRIEF & MOURNING
University of La VerneCounseling Center
Brenda Bryan, Ian Carpenter & Rick Rogers
January 20, 2009
NORMAL GRIEF REACTIONS
EMOTIONAL PHYSICAL Sadness Sorrow Pain Anger Guilt/self-reproach Anxiety Loneliness Shock Yearning Emancipation Relief Numbness Emptiness
Hollowness in stomach Tightness in chest Tightness in throat Dry mouth Oversensitivity to noise Depersonalization Breathlessness Weakness in muscles Fatigue/lack of energy
NORMAL GRIEF REACTIONS
COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL Disbelief Confusion Preoccupation Sense of presence Hallucinations Thoughts of own death
Sleep disturbance Change in appetite Absent-minded behavior Social withdrawal Dreams of deceased Avoiding reminders of
deceased Searching & calling out Crying Sighing Restless over-activity Visiting places or carrying
objects that remind you of deceased
Treasuring objects that belonged to deceased
KUBLER-ROSS’ STAGES OF GRIEF
Denial and Isolation Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance
WORDEN’S TASKS OF MOURNING
1. To accept the reality of the loss
2. To experience the pain or emotional aspects of the loss
3. To adjust to an environment in which the deceased is missing.
4. A. To make a healthy emotional withdrawal from the deceased and to feel comfortable reinvesting that emotion in another relationship
B. To relocate the deceased within one’s life and find ways to memorialize the person
TYPES OF LOSSES
Group Discussion
Do’s & Don’ts for supporting a child
WHAT TO DO WHAT NOT TO DO
Do’s & Don’ts for supporting an Adult
WHAT TO DO WHAT NOT TO DO
How to cope with aniversaries and holidaysAnticipate your fearsPrepare how you want to copeRemember to take care of your physical healthHow will you attend to your emotional wellbeing?
Anniversaries and Holidays
Anticipate in advance what your fears consist of about surviving an anniversary & the holidays without the deceased.
Anniversaries and Holidays
Prepare in advance how you want to cope with the anniversary & spend the holiday Who will you want to be with? Will you want
to talk with this person(s) about your grieving feelings? And if so how willing are they to listen?
Will you want to go to the grave site on or around the anniversary?
Will you want some private time to reflect about your loved one not being there with you & if so plan for such time?
Anniversaries and Holidays
Journal or write a letter to your deceased loved one letting them know what you are feeling &
thinking as you go through this anniversary or holiday without him/her.
Anniversaries and Holidays
Remember to take care of your physical health via: Continue to exercise regularly (or if you have
not been exercising start an exercise routine) Get ample sleep Eat regular meals
Anniversaries and Holidays How will you attend to your emotional
well-being? What are your best stress management
strategies? What kind of relaxation, meditation or prayer
works for you to quiet your mind? How might you enjoy some aspect of nature’s
grandeur to bring to you some peace of mind (e.g., watching a sunset, enjoying being outdoors)?
What is your favorite music that might soothe & calm you?
Who can you talk to when your emotions overcome you?
Know that. . .“Grief begins with a terrible and lonely loss. Grief changes you but it is not destroying you. Grief is a powerful teacher…. Your growth in the midst of your pain can bear fruit in your spirit and make you all the richer.” (Rabbi Earl Grollman, 1997).