Download - Fun at Call Centre 5875
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SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEINGON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK
PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL
CENTRE GUYS R PAID
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1 ) Tech Support : "I need you to right-clickon the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-upmenu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Doyou see a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me
what you have done up until this point?"Customer : "Sure, you told me to write
'click' and I wrote 'click'."
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2) Customer : "I received the softwareupdate you sent, but I am still getting the
same error message."Tech Support : "Did you install the
update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed toinstall it to get it to work?"
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3)Customer : "I'm having trouble installing
Microsoft Word."Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the diskand tell me what it says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer]Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Wordsetup disk."
Customer : "What?"Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"Customer: "No..."
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4).Customer : "Do I need a computerto use your software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend
to smile)5).Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom
left hand side of the screen, canyou see
the 'OK' button displayed?"Customer : "Wow. How can you seemy screen from there?"
Tech support : ##### ***
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6) Tech Support : "What type of computer doyou have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech support : ******_____####
7). Tech Support : "What operating systemare you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech support : ////-----+++
8). Customer : "My computer's telling meI performed an illegal abortion."
Tech support : ??????
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9).Cus tomer : "I have MicrosoftExploder."
Tech Support : ?!%#$
10).Customer : "How do I print myvoicemail?"
Tech support : ??????
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11). Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. Iurgently need to print document, but the computer
won't boot properly."
Tech Support : "What does it say?"
Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there afloppy inside?"
Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's
an Intel inside."
Tech support : @@@@@
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12). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there'sa problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
13). Tech Support : "What does the screensay now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER whenready'."
Tech Support : "Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it'sready?"
Tech support : *** ---- ++++
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14). A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.Tech: (keep quite)
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix theproblem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech support::
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech support::(hush hush)Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented
DOScommand that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!Tech : Just add the line LOAD
NOSMOKECOMat the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
http://nosmoke.com/http://nosmoke.com/ -
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10 minutes later.
User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User : MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come withNOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft
and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User : I need a new power supply.
Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?
Tech support : (hush hush)
User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he startedasking questions
about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.
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15) customer care officer:I need a product identificationnumber right now and may I help u in
finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette
out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?Customer: Yes, sure, nothing happens, it must be
really stuck.Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted ityet...it's still on my desk... sorry .
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Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' iconon to the
left of the screen.Customer: Is that your left or my left?
Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me
and.....Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting
technical on
me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it !
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Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in frontofthe
monitor, but the computer still says it can't find
it...
Customer: I have problems printing in red ...
Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer?Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
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Helpdesk: What's on your monitor nowma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriendbought for me inthe supermarket.
Helpdesk: And now hit F8.Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you
told me, but
nothing's happening.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 pacesback.
Customer: OKHelpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: YesHelpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
Is there another keyboard?Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah ... that
one does work!
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Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a asin
apple, a Capital letter V as in Victor, the number7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
A customer couldn't get on the Internet: -Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the rightpassword?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I watched my colleaguedo it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the passwordwas?
Customer: Five stars.
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Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do youuse?
Customer: Netscape.Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus
program.
Customer: Oh, sorry ... Internet Explorer.
Customer: I have a huge problem.
A friend has placed screensaver on mycomputer, but
every time I move the mouse, it
disappears !
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Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech Support, may I help you?Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hoursfor you.Can You please tell me how long it will take before
you can help me?Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand yourproblem?Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the helpbutton more than 4 hours ago.Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?
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Helpdesk: How may I help you?Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be theproblem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter " a ", but
how do Iget the circle around
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LIFE IS FUN
JUST KEEP
SMILING