Reason number one
It’s not about the federal election. God save the Queen and pay Her! Canadians will get a break from watching Liberals and NDP fight to stand bridesmaid next to Stephen Harper’s galvanized gown. And better still, the Conservative Leader will not attend the nuptials, sporting his “lounge suit.” No. He’ll be on the hustings wearing his usual stiff attire and smile while his party guard dogs shake down attendees for their Facebook loyalties.
Reason number two
Since the betrothed have asked folks to make charitable donations rather than send gifts, we will not be facing the embarrassment of the usual self-conscious offerings with a Canadian theme. In the past, Canuks have sent parkas and the like and, for Chuck and Di’s big day, we sent a Robert Bateman painting. Surely a donation to preserve wildlife would be more useful while avoiding the sight of stridently kitsch eagle, deer, beaver (take your pick) portraits of our furry and feathered countrymen.
Reason number three
It’s a great excuse to start drinking beer early in the day. What’s more Canadian than that unless it’s drinking early because of the Stanley Cup playoffs or the new endless national root canal known as the federal election?
Since the telecast will take place at 4 a.m. EST, those who have not stopped guzzling suds can continue. Those requiring the hair of the dog will have an unusual dispensation. Try as we will, though, I’m afraid we will not be able to keep up with the Ozzies. Our Commonwealth kin, who share a lager gene unknown to the rest of humankind, will be celebrating also. They too will not be embarrassed by the traditional wedding gift s sent by a grateful nation. Kangaroo-motif napkins and sizzle sticks will not be sent on behalf of the loyal Down Under citizenry. Cheers, mates.
Reason number four
Many Canadians are sentimentalist even if most of us are not monarchists. No, we won’t be waxing poetic over our status as a constitutional monarchy as we put on our best chapeaux
and hoist tea cups in tribute to the newlyweds. With nearly 12 million women and girls between the ages of 15 and 64 in a country of 33 million, well, you do the math. It’s the dress, stupid.
Reason number five
It’s not about the election and there’s a dress. See reasons numbers one and four.
