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7/28/2019 Excerpt: The Guide; Managing Douchebags, Recruiting Wingmen, and Attracting Who You Want
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Sej Numcj
Lg`gnm`n Ckuaejigns& Yjarumtm`n ^m`nlj`& g`c
Gttrgatm`n ^ek ]ku ^g`t
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Sej Numcj
Lg`gnm`n Ckuaejigns& Yjarumtm`n ^m`nlj`& g`c Gttrgatm`n ^ek
]ku ^g`t
Yksgfm`c ̂ msjlg`
Egrlk`y& @jw ]krb
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Akpyrmnet © 9871 iy Yksgfm`c ^msjlg`
Gff rmnets rjsjrvjc.
Xuifmsejc m` tej Z`mtjc Qtgtjs iy Egrlk`y Ikkbs& g` mlprm`t ko tej Arkw` Xuifmsem`n Nrkup& g
cmvmsmk` ko Yg`ckl Ekusj& M`a.& @jw ]krb.www.arkw`puifmsem`n.akl
Egrlk`y Ikkbs ms g rjnmstjrjc trgcjlgrb g`c tej Egrlk`y Ikkbs akfkpek` ms g trgcjlgrb ko
Yg`ckl Ekusj& M`a.
Fmirgry ko Ak`nrjss Agtgfknm`n,m`,Xuifmagtmk` Cgtg
RAMX cgtg\
MQI@ =>5818>=5?>89
Xrm`tjc m` tej Z`mtjc Qtgtjs ko Gljrmag
Ikkb cjsmn` iy
Mffustrgtmk`s iy
Dgabjt cjsmn` iy
Dgabjt pektknrgpey
78 = 5 > ? : 3 1 9 7
Omrst Jcmtmk`
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Ak`tj`ts
Sej Yjgf Irk Akcj
Aegptjr K`j4 ^ey Sems Ikkb Ms @kt g ^gstj ko ]kur Smlj
Aegptjr Swk4 Sej Z`wrmttj` Yufj Ikkb
Aegptjr Serjj4 Sej Fgws ko Irktejrekkc
Aegptjr Okur4 Ckuaejigns 787
Aegptjr Omvj4 Ork`tgf Gssguft
Aegptjr Qmx4 @k Lg`”s Fg`c
Aegptjr Qjvj`4 Lgbm`n tej Aut
Aegptjr Jmnet4 Fjgcjrsemp g`c Cmvmcjc Fkygftmjs
Aegptjr @m`j4 ^gstjfg`c
Qjxpjatgtmk`s
Aegptjr Sj`4 ^egt Grj Nmrfs Yjgffy Sem`bm`n;
Aegptjr Jfjvj`4 ^ej` Nmrfs Crmvj ]ku Argzy
Aegptjr Swjfvj4 Sej ^m`nlg`”s Akcj
Aegptjr Semrtjj`4 Xuttm`n ]kursjfo Kut Sejrj
Aegptjr Okurtjj`4 Ekkbm`n Zp g`c Qjxpjatgtmk`s
Aegptjr Omotjj`4 Kutwgrc Iku`c
Aegptjr Qmxtjj`4 Xrm`ajssjs& Xgrj`ts& g`c Ktejr Yjfgtmk`semp Xmtogffs
Aegptjr Qjvj`tjj`4 Ijtrgygf& Irjgbups& g`c Yjvj`nj
Cglgnj Ak`trkf
Aegptjr Jmnetjj`4 Jxmfj
Aegptjr @m`jtjj`4 Xrkifjls wmte Gutekrmty
Ak`afusmk`
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Aegptjr K`j
^ey Sems Ikkb Ms @kt g ^gstj ko ]kur Smlj
M egvj g ormj`c wek ag`”t fksj gt g`ytem`n Sej fgst tmlj wj wjrj pfgym`n AKC& ej
nkt sk lgc ej stkkc up g`c yjffjc& ‖Ouab tems'“ b`kabjc kvjr g aegmr& g`c stklpjc kut
ko tej ekusj Mt”s rmcmaufkus Sej ktejr nuys m` ly nrkup ojjf tej sglj wgy& sk wj”rj
stgrtm`n tk ck tem`ns wmtekut eml Iut mt”s sk stupmc tk crkp g ormj`csemp kvjr tems –
Kfmvjr& 7>
M nj`um`jfy fmbj pfgym`n ekabjy Mt”s pgrt ko wek M gl Iut m` emne saekkf yku ag`”t
ikte ij g dkab g`c ck g`ytem`n jfsj mo yku”rj g nuy Qk mo yku fmbjc twk bm`cs ko gatmvmtmjs
g`c k`j lgcj yku g vmatml g`c k`j lgcj yku akkf& ag` yku ek`jstfy sgy yku wkufc`”t
pmab tej k`j tegt lgcj yku akkf; –Dgab& 7?
Ly nmrformj`c dust oku`c kut M aejgtjc k` ejr Qej bjjps gsbm`n lj wey M aejgtjc&
g`c M ck`”t rjgffy wg`t tk tjff ejr tej rjgsk` tegt mt egc `ktem`n tk ck wmte ejr g`c M
dust wg`tjc tk M b`kw tegt sku`cs igc& iut mt”s tej trute @kw gff ko ejr ormj`cs egtj lj&
g`c sej irkbj up wmte lj Sej` sej tjxts lj M”l sk ak`ousjc' –Byfj& 7?
Ly ormj`c”s pgrj`ts dust gaausjc lj ko tgbm`n skljtem`n orkl tejmr ekusj Ly
ormj`c cjoj`cjc lj& iut ekw ag` M eg`n kut tejrj gngm` mo tegt”s wegt tejy”rj tem`bm`n
gikut lj; –_matkr& 7>
Ekw ck M njt kut ko tej Ormj`c Tk`j; –Jvjry nuy kvjr tej gnj ko 79
M ck`”t b`kw yku. M ck`”t b`kw mo yku ag` rjfgtj tk g`y ko tejsj smtugtmk`s. M ck`”t
b`kw wejrj yku fmvj. M egvj `k mcjg mo yku fmbj saekkf kr ag`”t wgmt tk njt kut ko tejrj
jvjry cgy. Mo yku egvj irktejrs kr smstjrs& M ck`”t b`kw mo tejy”rj m`arjcmify mrrmtgtm`n kr
yku fmbj eg`nm`n kut wmte tejl. M egvj `k mcjg mo yku fmbj spkrts& kr mo yku aklpfjtjfy
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egtj tejl. M ck`”t b`kw wegt bm`c ko vmcjk ngljs yku pfgy kr wegt lusma yku fmbj. Sej
fmst ko tem`ns M ck`”t b`kw ms j`cfjss. Iut M ck b`kw tems4
7. Nuys grj g fkt slgrtjr teg` lkst pjkpfj rjgfmzj.
9. Nuys ag` egvj rjgffy aklpfmagtjc prkifjls wmte tejmr ormj`cs kr oglmfmjs.
1. Nuys skljtmljs sgy& ‖M”l om`j& ck`”t wkrry gikut mt&“ wej` tejy”rj rjgffy
ojjfm`n tej aklpfjtj kppksmtj.
3. Qklj nuys fkvj cjgte g`c cjstruatmk`. Sems ckjs`”t ljg` tejy”rj argzy kr
ljg`.
:. Qklj nuys ck`”t fkvj cjgte g`c cjstruatmk`. Sems ckjs`”t ljg` tejy”rj wjgb kr
wjmrc.
Kivmkusfy& yku egvj ktejr pjkpfj m` ykur fmoj. Ekpjouffy& tejsj pjkpfj %pgrj`ts&
ormj`cs& oglmfy& ormj`cs” pgrj`ts& tjgaejrs& saekkf gclm`mstrgtkrs& akgaejs& nmrfs& nuys k`
ykur tjgl& bmcs m` ykur `jmneikrekkc& saekkf ius crmvjrs& rg`ckl bmcs& jta.- grj
nj`jrgffy om`j–ljg`m`n& tejy ck`”t nk kut ko tejmr wgy tk g``ky yku kr lgbj ykur fmoj
lmsjrgifj. Iut gt sklj pkm`t yku”ff prkigify jxpjrmj`aj g smtugtmk` wmte k`j ko tejsj
pjkpfj tegt”s sk mrrmtgtm`n& u`ogmr& orustrgtm`n& kr stupmc tegt yku”rj tjlptjc tk pu`ae
skljtem`n.
Jxajpt tejrj”s g prkifjl. Ekwjvjr nkkc mt lgy ojjf m` tej lklj`t %ijokrj ykur
eg`c ms terkiim`n m` pgm`-& terjj tem`ns grj m`jvmtgifj4
7. ]ku”ff njt m` trkuifj.
9. Gt fjgst k`j gcuft wek egs sklj pkwjr kvjr yku wmff ij tkk lgc gt yku tk
fmstj` tk ykur smcj ko tej stkry.
1. Mt wk`”t skfvj tej prkifjl tegt lgcj yku fgse kut m` tej omrst pfgaj
^egt yku egvj m` ykur eg`cs rmnet `kw ms g` kpjrgtmk`s lg`ugf tk tjff yku wegt
tk ck wej` yku ru` m`tk k`j ko tejsj m`tj`sj smtugtmk`s. Ko akursj& yku ag` egvj ktejr
typjs ko prkifjls. Fmbj tej bm`c yku mn`krj& jvj` tekune ckw` cjjp yku b`kw yku”rj
nkm`n tk egvj tk cjgf. Sems lg`ugf wmff sekw yku wegt tk ck mo g`ktejr nuy rjfj`tfjssfy
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g``kys yku kr yku”rj cjgfm`n wmte g` gcuft wek”s orjgbm`n kut k` yku. Mt”ff nmvj yku g
wgy tk ojjf ijttjr wej` yku”vj lgcj g lmstgbj g`c pjkpfj wk`”t fjt yku okrnjt mt. Mt”ff
nmvj yku sjarjts tk cjgfm`n wmte nmrf prkifjls& fmbj wej` tejy njt lgc gt yku g`c wk`”t
tjff yku wey. Mt”ff sekw yku ekw tk njt skljk`j tk ogff m` fkvj wmte yku kr ekw tk irjgb
up wmte skljk`j wmte lm`mlul crglg.
^ey sekufc yku fmstj` tk lj; Ejrj”s wegt yku `jjc tk b`kw sk yku ag` cjamcj. M
spj`c lkst ko ly tmlj wkrbm`n m` saekkfs wmte pjkpfj ykur gnj. Ly b`kwfjcnj akljs
orkl ejgrm`n stkrmjs orkl gff cmoojrj`t bm`cs ko bmcs. M ijfmjvj tegt tjj`s sekufc njt
rjgfmstma gcvmaj tegt gaaurgtjfy rjofjats wegt”s nkm`n k` m` tejmr fmvjs. M ck`”t egvj gff tej
g`swjrs& iut M tem`b wegt tjj`s grj nkm`n terkune ms mlpkrtg`t g`c cjsjrvjs rjspjat.
G ojw yjgrs gnk& M wrktj g smlmfgr ikkb gikut nmrfs agffjc Wujj` Ijjs g`c
^g``gijs ]ku lgy egvj ejgrc ko mt& kr ko tej lkvmj igsjc k` mt& agffjc Ljg` Nmrfs M
stmff wkrb wmte tjgaejrs g`c pgrj`ts& g`c okr yjgrs M”vj tekunet gikut wrmtm`n g ikkb okr
nuys fmbj Wujj` Ijjs Iut okr sklj rjgsk` %fmbj M wgs m`tmlmcgtjc& cmc`”t tem`b M akufc ck
g nkkc dki& g`c cmc`”t rjgffy wg`t tk jxpksj lysjfo tk g pktj`tmgf eunj ogmfurj-& M bjpt
puttm`n mt koo.
M b`jw M akufc`”t wrmtj tems ikkb iy lysjfo. Mo mt wgs nkm`n tk egvj g`y aeg`aj ko
ijm`n nkkc& nuys wjrj nkm`n tk egvj tk ejfp. Gs skk` gs M stgrtjc gsbm`n nuys mo tejy
wjrj m`tjrjstjc m` g prkdjat fmbj tems& M wgs glgzjc iy tej rjspk`sj. Kvjr eu`crjcs ko
nuys orkl cmoojrj`t igabnrku`cs g`c saekkfs sgmc yjs. Gtefjtjs& tejgtjr bmcs& fk`jrs&
g`graemsts& tejy”rj gff ejrj. Sejy g`swjrjc ly j`cfjss qujstmk`s& rjgc tej aegptjrs& g`c
tkfc lj wej` M wgs wrk`n kr wegt M `jjcjc tk gcc. ^ey wjrj tejy ckm`n tems; Mt wgs`”t
fmbj tejy wjrj njttm`n saekkf arjcmt okr mt. Ejrj”s wegt sklj ko ly nuy jcmtkrs sgmc4
M ojjf tegt ejfpm`n pjkpfj m` igc smtugtmk`s M”vj gfrjgcy ijj` m` ms g cuty –
Lgtemgs& 7?
M wg`t tk ij pgrt ko skljtem`n imnnjr teg` lysjfo tegt wmff lgbj g cmoojrj`aj okr
kur nj`cjr g`c ly )pjjrs) Iut gfsk ijagusj M ojjf fmbj kur )Nuy ^krfc) ms skljtem`n
tegt.s ijj` bjpt m` tej cgrb okr tkk fk`n –_matkr& 7>
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M wrktj tems ikkb sk nuys fmbj yku akufc ij ijttjr prjpgrjc. Qk yku akufc sjj
prkifjls k` tej ekrmzk` m`stjgc ko wej` tejy aklj up orkl ijem`c yku g`c b`kab yku
k` ykur gss. Qm`aj yku ag`”t ij prjpgrjc okr jvjrytem`n& tej ikkb wmff gfsk ejfp yku jvj`
mo yku njt b`kabjc ckw` g`c mt ojjfs fmbj skljk`j wg`ts tk bjjp yku tejrj.
Ejrj”s ekw tej ikkb wkrbs. Omrst& wj”rj irjgbm`n ckw` tej igsmas ko wegt tej
‖Irk Akcj“ gatugffy ms. Qjak`c& wj lkvj tk ormj`csemps g`c ak`ofmats glk`n nuys. Sej`
wj tgfb gikut nmrfs& g`c om`gffy wj nk m`tk cjgfm`n wmte gcufts. M` jvjry aegptjr& tej
jcmtkrs aeksj tkune saj`grmks tk emnefmnet okr yku& g`c tej` wj %tej jcmtkrs g`c M- aglj
up wmte tej ijst strgtjnmjs tk eg`cfj tejl.
K`j tem`n tk `ktj4 g fkt ko nuys agrj gikut gttrgatm`n nmrfs& sk pgrt ko tems ikkb ms
gikut ejfpm`n wmte tegt. Iut ngy nuys `jjc g`c cjsjrvj tej sglj fjvjf ko gcvmaj g`c
suppkrt& sk M wrktj tems ikkb wmte tegt m` lm`c gs wjff. Aegptjr U ms spjamomagffy wrmttj`
tk gccrjss sklj ko tej mssujs ngy nuys cjgf wmte–jspjamgffy wmte tejmr strgmnet ormj`cs&
iut tej rjfgtmk`semp gcvmaj m` tej ktejr aegptjrs gppfmjs tk g`y nuy rjngrcfjss ko wek
tejy”rj gttrgatjc tk. Sk gvkmc ak`ousmk` M skljtmljs usj tej prk`ku`s ‖sej“ g`c ‖ejr“
igsjc k` tej spjamoma prkifjl–iut tems ms`”t ljg`t tk mlpfy tegt teksj sjatmk`s grj k`fy
m`tj`cjc tk gccrjss strgmnet nuys. Sej rjgfmty ms& `k lgttjr wegt& twk tem`ns grj truj4 7-
@k lgttjr wek yku”rj gttrgatjc tk& tem`ns ag` njt wjmrc& g`c 9- Ngy kr strgmnet& yku”rj
cjgfm`n wmte nmrfs m` sklj agpgamty& g`c tegt egs mts kw` sjt ko pgrtmaufgr aklpfmagtmk`s.
Serkunekut tems ikkb& wej` M tkuae k` tkpmas tegt grj afksjfy rjfgtjc tk ktejr
sjatmk`s ko tej ikkb& M”ff pkm`t mt kut sk mo yku egvj g prjssm`n mssuj& tej` yku”ff b`kw
jxgatfy wejrj tk nk g`c yku wk`”t wgstj tmlj. Mo g`c wej` tejrj”s skljtem`n nkm`n k` m`
ykur fmoj tegt”s iktejrm`n yku g`c yku grj`”t surj wegt tk ck& tems ikkb lgy ejfp yku.
Yjgc mt wej` yku `jjc mt.
Fgst tem`n& ckjs ykur lkl kr cgc kr g`y ktejr gcuft rjfj`tfjssfy gsb yku
qujstmk`s g`c yku”c fmbj tejl tk stkp; Ekw gikut ykur pgrj`t rjousm`n tk ijfmjvj yku
wej` yku”rj tjffm`n tej trute g`c tej` ijfmjvm`n ykur irktejr kr smstjr wek fmjs tk tejmr
ogaj; ^kufc mt lgbj ykur fmoj ijttjr mo skljk`j tkfc tejl wegt ijm`n g nuy tkcgy ms fmbj
wmtekut yku egvm`n tk tjff tejl tej prmvgtj cjtgmfs ko ykur fmoj; ^jff& m` gccmtmk` tk
wrmtm`n tems ikkb okr nuys& M gfsk wrktj g ikkb okr pgrj`ts %g`c g`y gcuft wek wkrbs wmte
nuys- agffjc Lgstjrlm`cs g`c ^m`nlj` tegt jxpfgm`s gff ko tems tk tejl. Seksj nuy
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jcmtkrs M cjsarmijc gikvj gfsk ejfpjc lj wmte tegt ikkb& sk tejy tkfc lj jxgatfy wegt
pgrj`ts `jjcjc tk b`kw. Mt tjffs pgrj`ts wej` tk igab koo g`c wej` g`c ekw tk tgfb tk
tejmr sk`s. Qk mo yku rjgc g`y pgrt ko tems ikkb g`c tem`b mt”s wkrtewemfj& pfjgsj tjff ykur
pgrj`ts tk rjgc Lgstjrlm`cs g`c ^m`nlj`. M”l trym`n tk aeg`nj tej ak`vjrsgtmk` gikut
ekw gcufts tgfb gikut nuys& g`c M `jjc ykur ejfp tk ck mt.