Download - Erlang Sucks. EUC 2012
Erlang Sucksor How I Lost All Hope
The goal of this presentation was, basically, to commit suicide, since Joe Armstrong was in the audience
Covering Erlang news for the past 5 years
Moved to Sweden just to program in Erlang
Was a web programmer (PHP, Python, Coldfusion)
Who am I? Just a regular guy doing regular stuff
Where do I begin?To tell the story of how great Erlang could be...
Joe Armstrong: With Erlang it’s very easy to do the impossible and very hard to do the easy stuff
Erlang
Erlang is crazy weird wonderful stuff created by mad scientists to be used in crazy weird wonderful stuff created by other mad scientists. Just look at the topics at EUC
Rest of the world
Whereas other languages are these hipster kids showing off their new shiny toys.People coming from these languages keep asking: “Can you do this or that?” Let’s see if we can.
This here is a cricket. You know, when there’s silence or some vast empty space filled, well, with emptiness and scilence, that’s when you hear the crickets. I’ll use this cricket to illustrate a point
Package/library/dependency management
Perl
Python
Ruby
Node.js
CPAN
easy_install
gem
npm
How do you manage stuff in other languages? Easy
Package/library/dependency management
What about Erlang?
Package/library/dependency management
rebar
erlware
CEAN
agner
epm
Well, there have been attempts at that in the past and currently
Package/library/dependency management
gem install package_name
easy_install package_name
pear install package_name (PHP 0_o)
See, it’s insanely easy in some languages. For the love of all that’s good and holy, it’s even easy in PHP!
Package/library/dependency management
{deps, [application_name,
{application_name, "1.0.*"},
{application_name, "1.0.*",
{git, "git://github.com/basho/rebar.git", {branch, "master"}}}]}.
Obviously, it’s as easy in Erlang... Or is it?
Package/library/dependency management
{deps, [application_name,
{application_name, "1.0.*"},
{application_name, "1.0.*",
{git, "git://github.com/basho/rebar.git", {branch, "master"}}}]}.
1> agner fetch package_name
You can use agner, but there some problems with it
Libraries: ImagingPerl
Python
Ruby
Node.js
PHP
Haskell
Go
2971 hits on CPAN
PIL
105 hits on rubygems
37 entries in npm
built-in
242 entries on Hackage
5 packages
Ok, what about other stuff. Perl isn’t even funny, but even Go has 5 packages.
Libraries: Imaging
Erlang is on par with them, is it not?
Libraries: Imaging
erl_img
Well, if your goal is only to read EXIF data, then yes, of course
Libraries: Formatted TextMarkdown Textile BBCode ...
Python
Ruby
Haskell
Go
Erlang
What about some really basic stuff?
Libraries: The CloudAmazon Rackspace Heroku ...
Python
Ruby
Haskell
Node.js
Erlang
What about this next great thing everyone’s talking about: the cloud? I mean, c’mon. Node.js is two years old and it has everything
You see?
This really goes beyond just the few things I’ve shown here. If you need something insanely cool and hardcore, someone’s doing it with Erlang. If you want something simple that everyone in other languages seems to be using, you’r out of luck.
http://erlanger.ru/
News
Forum
Wiki
3 years PHP2 years Erlang
PHP
PHP
I know what I’m talking about, some of this stuff is impossible even today
Sucks Not
Frontend
“Mainstream” libraries
Small projects
Medium projects
GUI
Backbone
Some of backend
Management
If it ain’t 5 million hits a day, it’s not a project
I’d say that Erlang really doesn’t suck... in some pretty serious areas. And sucks in some less serious ones
Moral of the storyfunny and insightful at the same time
Really, there was no moral :) If we want Erlang to be more “mainstream”, we should really try and build some of the stuff the “hipster kids” take for granted. Obviously, I want someone else to do that :)
Credit where it’s due
Mad Scientist: http://raydillon.deviantart.com/art/Mad-Scientist-92248962
Cool hipster kids by Gaultier:http://zippercut.wordpress.com/2010/01/18/the-kids-are-alright/
Cricket:http://findicons.com/icon/575/cricket
Credit where it’s due
Tick, cross: http://www.iconfinder.com/search/?q=iconset%3Abasicset
Cool hipster kids by Gaultier:http://zippercut.wordpress.com/2010/01/18/the-kids-are-alright/
Cricket:http://findicons.com/icon/575/cricket