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I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my
instrument while the song I came to sing remains unsung.
Rabindranath Tagore
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Dragon in My Heartis a work of fiction. All names, characters, events and incidents
appearing in this work are fictitious and a product of the authors imagination. Any
resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
This work of fiction is protected under section 45 of the Copyright Act, 1957 (14 of 1957), by
the Government of India.
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Chapters:
1.
A New Acquaintance2. Stalker and Love
3.
Not A Lie
4.
Crazy Confessions
5. My Serendipity
6.
Patterns
7.
Strangers8.
Secrets
9. Rusting Strings
10. Old Beginnings
11.
Lost
12.
Final Truths
13. Memories
14.
Just Beyond
15.
Senior Year
16. Jerusalem
17. When Two Hearts Meet
18.
Its Hot and Cold
19.
On The Other Side
20. To Friendship
21.
Prom!
22.
Falling Star
23.
This Was It
24. Nightmare
25. A Sun
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Chapter 1
A New Acquaintance
Ria Mehra, please report to the principals' office immediately. The speakers of our
classroom blared. My head shot up as I heard my name, confused obviously, and then
nervous. I have been behaving myself lately. I haven't put off the fire alarm, even though the
first time it was by mistake. I havent fought with anyone, not even Shaina, even though I felt
like punching her face right now as she turned and looked at me with her evil and satisfied
eyes. Of course she would be happy when I am in trouble. I really hated her.
Ria,Shaina mimicked the voice on the speaker, Go! The principal would be waiting for
you.She winked at me.
Yes, I really did hate her.
Embarrassed, getting up in the middle of Physics class, I walked out of the room, at least
happy I was missing the rest of the dreadful subject. I made my way through the empty
corridors, surprised at not finding any of my friends out of class, bunking. I guess they didn't
want to get into trouble anymore either.
I was waiting outside the principal's room, still deciding if I should make a run for it or not,
but too late, he saw me.
Ria!He said with his booming loud voice that terrified almost every student in our school,
but by now I was immune to it. Come in my child.He said, pointing to his door.
Okay, I freaked, I was totally busted for something.
It's so nice to see you, principal Gupta!I used my overly sweet and flattering voice, trying
to use my sycophantic skills. You look amazing! Have you been working out?
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You're not in trouble. He paused, seeing right through it. Even though I have been
working out.
I sighed. I wasted all my energy worrying over nothing - at least I wasnt in trouble.
You've been pretty good lately. I am rather shocked. No broken windows, no talking back to
teachers, no fire alarmsI made a face. no fights with anyone, not even Shaina, and no
classes bunked. I dont know whats come over you, but I'm impressed.He finished.
If only he knew why I was being so good recently, he wouldnt be too happy. My parents
agreed I could get a new cell phone if they got no complaints from my teacher and no phone
calls from school. PTA was just a few weeks away, and I desperately wanted a phone. So I
kept my mouth shut and looked at Gupta. He was a 65 year old average height man who may
have been more than average looking when he was young. Right now he just looked like any
semi-old wrinkled man. Yet Gupta was different; standing at 5'5'' he looked much taller and
much wiser. He had an alluring prodigious aura. He could be extremely strict, but he was one
of my favorite teachers, he taught us English in 10th grade. He was really nice. If it was
another principal with no tolerance for humor, I would have been kicked out of school a long
time ago.
So its a good thing if I didn't do any of those things, right?I asked him as I sat on the chair
opposite him.
He nodded his head.
Then, um why am I here?I was confused.
I am going to help you get your cell phone.He replied.
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My mouth dropped, how did he know? How did he always know everything? At least he
didn't look mad. Gupta's motto is - always do the right thing, not to get a reward, or any
appreciation, but for the innersatisfaction. Which world did he live in?
I knew why he was doing this though. Ever since I came to know that I was adopted, things
have been different. People who know about this which is almost no one, look at me with
sympathy, and somehow that makes me angrier than it actually should. I know I shouldnt be
venting my angst by vandalizing school property, but it is the easiest way. Well, at least
Gupta tries to get me back to my earlier life.
Okay. What do I have to do?
Sort things out with your parents.
No offense, but thats really none of your business.I swallowed hard realizing to whom I
was talking to. He was my favourite teacher, but I couldnt speak to him like this.
It actually is.He didnt look offended, a little sad maybe. 11th is a tough year and you
dont want your grades to fall more than they already have. Im not going to promote you if
your grades remain this way.
The pass mark is 33%. I have managed more than that.
Yes, without even trying. Youare intelligent, dont throw that away. Fix things in your life
Ria, everything,before you dont know how to.
It was a weird feeling knowing that I was adopted.
Anyway, your parents called to tell me to check up on you.
They what?
Theyre worried about you. You havent spoken to them in a
a while, yeah I know. But Im fine. You want me to get my grades back up, fine no
problem. You want me to smile,I plastered a fake smile on my face, Fine no problem. Im
not going to do anything stupid, if thats what theyre worried about.
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We just want you to be normal.
I am normal. I just want to be alone for a while. Why is that so hard for people to grasp?
Stop behaving this way. Youve taken enough time to be alone and think. Pull yourself
together and stop giving them a heart attack.He stood up, and I realized he was really pissed
now.
Its not my fault that they wont even start a conversation with me and the only way theyre
voicing their opinion and apparent worry is through you. If this is what youve called mehere
for, then I dont want to waste anymore of your time.I was almost towards the door now.
Why cant you behave like Nakul and act more responsible.I froze.
Nakul, allegedly, is my foster brother. Hes the real kid, Im the adopted one. Were supposed
to be twins, and now I know were not even related. Gupta wouldnt have known about this
entire situation had he not caught Nakul and I fighting at school once. That was the last I
spoke to that traitor.
Im sorry Im not like him then.
He sighed. I knew he was trying his best to fix all of this. He and my dads elder brother went
to college together. In a way, Gupta saw my dad grow up and he watched Nakul and I grow
up too.
Sit down Ria.He took a seat himself. I know its tough. And Im sorry Im putting you
through this. But dont make your life so difficult.
He tried to lighten the atmosphere as he handed me my favourite box of chocolates and
winked at me.
Now go before you miss your entire class. Anyway youll take, I dont know, half-an-hour
just to reach the class, right?
I smiled at him. I was desperate to get out now, but as his office door opened, I felt no need to
hurry.
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In walked a new boy, and not just any boy, but a reallygood looking boy. He was completely
stunning. I stood their gaping at him mesmerized. He was different from all the guys in our
school, and he looked much older as well. He was around six feet. He had the darkest of
black hair slightly gelled or maybe wetted, or maybe just naturally amazing. His green eyes
were piercing mine as he took in my presence. He had a beautiful dusky complexion and
even in our unflattering school uniform, his lean body whispered of well worked out muscles.
When my eyes met his again, he smiled, a dimple appearing on his left cheek and I was
having a heart attack.
Rahil, good to see you.
Hello, Sir. He shook Guptas hand. His voice was husky and deep, and I kept grinning
stupidly.
Gupta then realized I still hadnt left.
Ria, why are you still here? Do you need a special invitation to enter andleave my office?
No sir, I was just leaving.
Actually wait, take Rahil with you, hes inyour class. Make a newfriend.He emphasised. I
rolled my eyes as colour flooded my cheeks.
Hey, Im Rahil.He stuck his hand out and smiled.
I bit my lip, suddenly nervous. Ria. I replied and smiled. His hand was warm and strong
and a little rough, and I felt a spark run throughout my body as I touched him. What was
happening?
We walked side-by-side in the still empty corridors neither of us breaking the silence
because, somehow, it wasn't an awkward silence, it was comfortable and relaxed. We both
shared shy glances at each other. I was curious about him, I was nervous around him, and
being with him made my heart beat faster. I wanted to get away from him, to be able to think
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You should join our team then.
Only if hes good. We are the best in Delhi and we only take the best. Sid entered the
classroom with food in his mouth.
This is Siddharth, the stud of our school. Sense the sarcasm.He was the most pompous,
stuck up freak I had ever met. But he also happened to be one of my best friends.
Im better than good actually.Rahil grinned, his dimple more pronounced and my heart
stopped. Nervous, nervous, nervewreckingly nervous.
Siddharth put his arms around my waist and whispered, Looks like I have competition.
Please. I wouldnt choose you even if you were the last guy on earth and the only hope for
the human race to survive.I pushed him away.
Whoa. I wasnt talking about sex.
But thats all you think about, you pervert.Suri playfully kicked him and we all laughed as
he shrugged. I stole a quick glance at Rahil and saw him comfortably amalgamate in our
group.
Rahil was someone completely unexpected. He was too good looking for his own good.
Every girl in the class was already in love with him, and to every boy, he was a blow to their
self esteem. Sadly, I was also one of those girls who had hopelessly fallen for his good looks.
He took a seat behind me, sitting with Sid. School suddenly became much more interesting.
***
Suri: This guy is H-O-T!Where did you pick him up from?
Suri tossed the crumpled piece of paper to my desk.
Ria:Stop giggling Suri He totally knows we are talking about him
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I turned around and shot him a quick glance. He looked like he wasn't aware of our small
bursts of laughter.
Ria:Or m aybe not
Suri: I wonder why he shifted to our school. Good for us, or you
His eyes are so deliciously green
Ria: Shut up
Suri: Jealous already? Then dont look now 'cause Shaina's
giving him flirty looks. Argh, she's pouting
Ria:I am NOT jealous. I dont even know him. Shaina can
do whatever
she wants with him
Suri: Good, dont turn around though. He is staring at you and I
can tell you, it looks like something interesting is going through
his mind ;)
I turned around and looked at him anyway. He was staring at me, his green eyes penetrating
my soul. I blushed.
Do you need any help?I asked him, hoping to distract his gorgeous eyes. Trying to keep
myself from blushing.
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No, I'm good. Thanks.He replied.
Okay.I turned my head back around.
Suri: You are BLUSHING!
Ria:Shut up , no I m not. Wait is it that obvious?
Suri: Not much. But this is sooo cute
Ria: What's so cute? I've barely spoken to him. And I know him for
what, a couple of MINUTES
Suri: Who cares? Ask him out. You'll get to know him. I am a
GENIUS. Go out with him!!!!!!!!
I ignored her last comment. But my head couldnt stop thinking how perfect we could be for
each other. He didnt look interested in any of the girls in our school, not even Shaina, and
Shaina is kind of pretty with her dark luscious hair and big light brown eyes, even though I
hate to admit it.
The rest of my friends from other classes had already welcomed him into our group. The
guys were impressed with his soccer skills, the girls were in love with his butterflies-in-the-
stomach-causing smile and intriguing eyes. But I made sure to hint that he was my territory
and they reluctantly observed him from a distance. In a weeks time, Rahil was already
invited to random parties and movie nights, but he was a quiet guy. Many people mistook it
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for shyness, making him all the more attractive. But I felt like there was a story behind the
silence that I was dying to know.
Days passed like this. I would wait to go to school, and have him in my every class. At home
I would wonder what he would be doing. I wondered if he was interested in any of the girls at
school. Feared he already had a girlfriend, which was why he wasn't interested in anyone in
this school. Most probably he did have a girlfriend who was as gorgeous as he was. Then, I
would wonder again, if he didn't have a girlfriend, would he like to go out with me? I wanted
to know everything about him. What type of people he hung out with, what music did he
listen to; did he play any instrument, what was his favorite movie? It was starting to get close
to obsession.
The questions kept increasing every day I saw him, but I didnt have the courage to ask him
any of them, what if he thought I was crazy? So I ended up with no answers to even one of
my questions, and I dont know why, but thisbothered me.
***
I was expecting a slow and uneventful day at school today. Half of the class planned to bunk,
including Suri. So there I was, sitting alone, early as usual, when Rahil walked in. I loved
seeing him enter the classroom every morning. In our white school shirt and olive green pants
(skirts for girls) that complemented his eyes so well. The dull brown desks and black chairs
suddenly came alive. The white walls looked fresh and the sunlight poured through the
window, illuminating the entire room. He was sparkling up my life. I sighed, if only he knew.
Seeing the empty seat beside me today, he came and sat there. I was taken aback by this
sudden proximity to him. I could feel every minute movement of his, hear his every breath.
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Sitting beside him, especially so close, made my heart beat accelerate, my breathing too loud
and made me overtly conscious.
Hey,He said.
I smiled at him. Hey.
I reluctantly looked into his eyes, my heart forcing me to. The sun filled the room with light
making Rahils eyes take a softer shade of green that made his dark pupil prominent. They
made me forget everything except for me and him; made me aware of only him. We sat there,
staring into each others eyes, silently communicating, forgetting about the time, forgetting
about the place, forgetting about the people around us. I traced his face with my eyes; his
green eyes had long thick eyelashes and dark bushy eyebrows. His nose was small, compared
to his face, and slightly crooked. His soft lips were slightly glowing and full, they made me
nervous. His jaws were sharp and pronounced, giving him the look of a runway model. His
skin was slightly bronzed. I wondered if he used to live close to the sea before he came here.
But as soon as I thought of the sea and the waves, I couldnt stop my mind from wandering to
him and the beach and the sea and the sand and me I concentrated on gett ing my breathing
back to normal.
Ria.Someone broke my thought.
Kabeer, hey!He bent down to hug me and held me a little longer than was necessary. I
pulled back.
Kabeer, this is Rahil. Hes new.
Hey.Rahil smiled.
Kabeer half glared at him and half smiled. He was, unfortunately, the one harbouring a crush
on me.
Yeah, Ive heard of you.
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Sid entered the class, confused as usual, and hugged me as he threw his bag on the desk
behind, breaking the sudden tension.
Naina!He yelled as she entered the room. Homework.Typical Sid.
I was thinking, maybe I could come over to your place, and we could do homework together
or something. Rahilwas hesitant, I could clearly hear that in his voice, and he felt stupid,
that was written on his face, to ask a girl to do homework together, instead of asking her for a
date straight away. But I didnt care if he was a little slow, ormaybe he actually was shy,
because he wanted to hang out with me! What should I say though? I didnt want to be too
excited! Where was Suri when you actually needed her?
Sure. That would definitely be more fun than doing homework alone. I said lamely, but
then I stopped myself. I couldnt invite him to my house, not when things were so weird
there, not when I didnt want to go to my own house.
I'll come over today after school then?He sounded a little hopeful.
I felt a little bad I had to cancel, I dont think you can come this week.He looked at me
questioningly. My house is getting painted.I lied, trying not to look guilty.
Okay then, next week.He said.
Okay.I would think up another lie later. I hated this thought. I wanted him to come over to
my house. Why did I have to find out I was adopted now? Why do I even worry so much
about it? I didnt even know about it before. Why does everything have to change now? I felt
a little depressed thinking about the turn of events at my house. Everything was just so
awkward. I felt myself become distant, and then I felt Rahil gently brush my elbow,
accidentally, I blushed, consciously and I smiled, purposely. I tried to forget everything that
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was going on, and looked at him instead. I felt a stupid grin spread on my face thinking about
the possibilities if he did come over.
Naina:Did he just ask you out? You look flushed!
Ria:Kind of. He wanted to come over to my place today, but I told him I
wasn t free this week. So hopefully we ll meet up n ext week
I felt awkward talking about the condition in my house. I didnt know how much my friends
knew, if, at all, they did. And I wasnt ready to tell them. They knew Nakul and I werent
talking. I didnt know how much they figured out from that.
Sid: Kabeers J. Did he just ask you out?
Ria: OMG people, get a life. No, he didnt ask me out. And what does
that have anything to do with Kabeer
Sid: Other than the fact that he is in love with you
Ria: Whatever
Naina: We both should double date. There's this new movie coming out that I
really want to see
She giggled.
How could she be so oblivious? From the confused expression on Rahil's face, I knew he
knew what we were talking about. He looked so cute when I peeked at him. He was trying to
read the note from around my hand.
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J? He pointed.
Jealous. I said calmly, but actually freaking out. How much had he read? I covered the
parchment quickly, as Rahil looked up, a grin creeping on his face.
Ria:He knows we're talking about him. Thanks a lot :(
Kabeer:Hes good on the field
Ria: Oh, I didnt know he was on the team already
Maybe thats why he was at school early.
Kabeer: I was wondering... What you doing this friday?
Shit, if he asked me out, I was going to die.
Siddharth, what are Bohrs postulates and drawbacks?The chemistry teacher interrupted
everybody badgering me.
UmmSid looked around as he stood up, completely ignorant of the answer. But the bell
rang and he smiled at her and sat down.
The bell rang maam.He said impishly.
So?She looked at him and waited for a moment, then sighed.
Dont let me catch your group talking again.She walked out of the class as we breathed a
sigh of relief.
Naina: Fine... btw, Shaina's walking towards your table
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I looked up and right in front of me stood Shaina. She had everything required to be a model
the height, the skinniness, the long neck, the long straight rebounded hair, the pretty face
and the worst part was that she knew it. Her skirt was unusually short, an extra button from
her shirt was open, and her hair was left free. I could think of only one word to describe the
way she looked right now, and I had a fairly good idea why.
Hi.She said, her face turned towards Rahil.
Rahil looked up from his notes, and gave her the most disinterested expression. Shaina, thick
as she is, didn't really get the expression and didnt bother. She was concentrating too hard on
trying to flirt with him.
I wanted to invite you for my birthday party. I'm turning 17!She looked at him from under
her eyelash; no boy could ever resist such temptation, it was cruel on her part.
Happy birthday, and thanks for the invite. Rahil went back to deliberately scanning his
notes.
Shaina's face fell at his blunt answer. I couldnt help but secretly enjoy this moment.
I really do hope you come.She still tried, bending down and exposing her cleavage. I'll be
waiting for you. She slipped a paper with the address, and then she winked and walked
away, her hips moving a bit too much. I prayed she would dislocate her hip. I didnt realize
Shaina could stoop so low for attention, but then again, it wasn't just anyone's attention.
I wasnt the onlyone staring at her vulgarity.
Wow. You would be the first boy to talk to her that way. I wouldntbe surprised if she ends
up crying for the rest of the day.
Was I that rude?He sounded offended.
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No. But you didnt give her any attention, and thats what she survives off. Anyway, she
has a big ego.
I hesitated for a moment, Are you going?
Hell no.He laughed at my question. Shes ridiculous.
I stared at him. Well, that was one thing we had in common.
You guys arent friends or anything right?
Ya think?
We smiled at each other.
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Chapter 2
Stalker and Love
The phone rang, waking me up from a dream. I knew exactly what I was dreaming of, and I
was startled of the intensity with which I wanted my dream to turn into a reality. My entire
body and brain were becoming one big pile of muddle and I was unable to think. But I liked
these dreams; they made me smile and made me happy. They were definitely preferred over
my usual dreams that often woke me up at night. Those dreams always ended in the same
way. A ball of fire consuming my body and me screaming as the fire burned my skin. Then
there was sudden darkness where I couldnt see or feel anything, I felt lifeless. The fear that
darkness created in me was insurmountable. I never remembered what the dream was before
this end, but I would invariably get up, a sense of relief washing over me as I took in the
familiar surroundings of my room. Dreaming about Rahil was better than dreaming about
anything else.
It's for you, Ria.My mom entered the room with the phone. We looked at each other for a
long minute. She hadnt entered my room inso long, seeing her in my territory was making
her look out of place.
My mom was really tall, and she exercised regularly to keep herself healthy. She had aged
since the last time I actually spoke to her. Her dark hair was knotted in a braid; she looked
sweaty, getting off the treadmill most probably. My mom is a fashion designer; she has her
own boutiques all around Delhi and Mumbai and puts up amazing fashion shows. She had her
reading glasses on her small eyes, she always had her reading glasses on; her face was
without any make up. I felt bad, not talking to my mom, but I still felt betrayed. I felt like a
jigsaw piece not fitting in my family puzzle. My dad was a tall guy, with salt and pepper
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wavy hair. He was a fitness freak as well, but he was more into yoga and getting up early for
his daily morning walks. He had a big, long nose and a cleft chin. My mom had a long face
with smile lines around her lips. Nakul was also tall, maybe just a little shorter than Rahil. He
had a square face with tight lips, a slightly big nose, and a cleft chin, and his black hair
always remained unkempt. I, on the other hand, was a 54, petite girl with eyes bigger and
blacker than any of my parents. My face was oval with a small nose and a long neck. My hair
was long and wavy. I never saw any difference between my family and me, but now, each
photo made me look like a stranger to my own family, each of their faces was so similar, but
every one of them, different from mine. I felt like I was living a lie my entire life.
I took the phone from her, without saying anything. I knew I was hurting her, but I was hurt
too.
Hello.I put the phone to my ear.
Hey babe,I heard a familiar voice. I've missed you.
I think you called the wrong number, Eshaan.I replied.
I dont think so Ria. I was a jerk before, but now I won't be so stupid and judgmental. I
really have changed.
I dont really care what you've become now and I dont remember how you were before.I
said acidly.
Let's start everything again, from the beginning. Let's become friends first. Pretend you
dont know me, and this is the first time you are talking to me.
Then he cleared his throat. Hi Ria, I'm Eshaan.
And I'm so notinterested.I hung up.
Today was such a good day at school, after so long I was feeling back to normal, well, not
normal, but happy and nervous and enamoured. Then why was he ruining my mood? I had
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completely forgotten about Eshaan. Our relationship was way over before the actual break-
up. I never even saw it as a relationship. We went for onemovie together, by chance, which I
was forced to go to, by Suri who later ditched me along with Naina and Nikhil, and which
was the most boring night I ever had. Eshaan and I had absolutely nothing in common, but
that didnt stop him from calling me every day, at least twice. He was one of the reasons why
I badly needed a cell phone, so that my mom wouldnt bring me the phone with an angry and
disapproving look, so that I could ignore his calls and messages, and so that the whole house
wouldnt know when I was on the phone. I did ignore his calls though, most of the time. I
used to make my mom do the dirty work; we had worked out a couple of excuses to use when
it was Eshaan on the phone,
1stRia is sleeping; she'll call you when she wakes up.
2ndRia is in the bathroom; I'll tell her you called.
3rdRia is not at home. Don't call again.
My mom felt bad, even though Eshaan never figured it out that I was avoiding his calls, he
was so dim, but she didnt want to be too harsh on the 'silly teenager'. I never calledback,
unmistakably. But his calls never stopped, and before I knew it, I was his girlfriend. I still
hate Suri and Naina. Eshaan is a little dull, a lot in fact; he doesnt know anything at all,
except when it concerns himself. He was so self-obsessed; we had absolutely nothing to talk
about.
The phone rang again.
Hello,I instinctively picked it up.
Dont hang up on me again, Ria.He pleaded. Then he took a deep breath and paused before
saying, I am sorry.
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I rolled my eyes, these people and their egos. Three words! How hard can it be to say them,
especially when he should have said them a long time back?
Whatever. I wouldnt forgive him that easily. Anyway, where had you disappeared the
past month?When my life was much better without you.That I didnt add, even though I
should have.
I dont think you want to know.He said slowly.
Amuse me.I shot back. I was getting bored.
Breaking up with you left me a little depressed. Actually, very depressed.He paused again
before quietly saying, I tried to kill myself.
Silence from my side. I did not expect that response. My mouth fell open in bewilderment.
I was madly in love with you, and I still am.
This guy was definitely a psycho. Why didnt someone else say these things to me, like
Rahil?
I want you back. I dont think I can live without you in my life. He admitted, sincerity
ringing in each of his words.
More silence from my side. I didnt know what to say.
Ria?he asked his voice a little hoarse.
Was he crying? I didnt want to know. I didnt want to feel guilty. Ididnt want to take the
blame for his odd behaviour, because it wasnt my fault. I wanted him to leave me alone.
I have to go Eshaan.I threw the phone on my bed, trying to run away from my thoughts.
He scared me a little. I tried to ignore his earnest confessions; I tried not to believe in it. He
never gave me any special attention when we were a couple, we both took each other for
granted. Now he couldn't live without me? What rubbish. But I couldnt explain the honesty
in his voice; I couldnt explain the chill it gave me listening to him declaring his love to me.
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What love?I didnt want to explain, I didn't want to know. I just wanted to ignore and forget
everything to do with him.
The phone rang again, and I jumped. I knew it was Eshaan.
One ring
I decided I won't pick up.
Two rings
But what if it was someone else
Three rings
Who?
Four rings
This was impossible, how could I be scared of someone like Eshaan.
Five rings
I kind of felt angry.
Six rings I grabbed the phone.
Can you please stop calling me? I dont want to speak withyou.I hissed.
Hi back to you too.His voice.
But I'm hoping your tirade wasnt directed towards me.he joked.
Rahil, I whispered, my body calming automatically. Hey. I said fast, with as much
enthusiasm I could muster in an angry mood.
Why do things like this always happen to me?
I am so sorry. I thought it was someone else.I tried to explain, but I didnt want to tell him.
You need me to beat someone up for you?He asked innocently, sweetly, flirtingly.
My heart pounced; I felt the heat on my cheeks. Would he really beat someone up for me? I
wanted to tell him about Eshaan, but this was my fight.
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No, I'm good.
Another time then.He sounded disappointed. So who were you planning to kill before I
interrupted?
You, I wanted to say, for stealing my heart. Im so clichd. But instead I answered, No one
too importantI changed the topic before he would say something else to make me faint.
What were you up to?
The rest of the evening went in talking to him; the rest of the night went in dreaming about
him.
I couldnt sleep properly that night though. Waking up when Eshaan stormed into my dreams.
I was restless and uncomfortable, and I could not shrug off this feeling that something bad
was going to happen soon. Thats when I heard some noises outside my house; my room was
on the ground floor. It was the only bedroom on the ground floor, which worked well in my
present-not-talking-to-parents-or-brother-situation, but right now I felt a little anxious.
The sound continued. It was like some kind of tapping. I ignored it at first; maybe I was just
imagining it. But the sound didn't go. Then I heard loud bangs on my bedroom window. I
turned to look outside and froze. I was staring into Eshaan's face. His face lit up when he saw
me. He didnt stopbanging on my bedroom window until I got up and moved towards it. I
prayed nobody else in the house heard them. I quietly opened my windows, feeling reassured
with the grill bars on them. This guy was capable of anything now, I realized.
What the hell are you doing here, Eshaan?! Are you mad?I murmured angrily.
I wanted to see you.He said.
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And you couldnt wait for tomorrow at school? Go home. I want to sleep.I tried to shoo
him away. I was so annoyed to find that the main gate was not locked. It almost never was,
but that was because this was a pretty safe area to live in, up until now that is. I couldnt
believe the guts of this boy to enter someones house in the middle of the night.
I can't sleep. I wanted to see you. Can I just stand outside your window and watch you
sleep?
Um NO! Go away. I shut the window and pulled the curtains over it, hiding his face.
I felt so groggy in the morning; I didnt want to go to school. Eshaan would be there and
Rahil in the same building. Thankfully Eshaan wasnt in my section - that would have been
an immitigable disaster.
Suri didnt come to school again. I wondered if she was sick, I forgotto call her during the
weekend. But I was a little mad at her for getting me into all of this trouble in the first place.
Just because Eshaan was better looking than the other guys with his dark brown eyes, high
cheek bone and strong jaws, and crew cut hair, though he wasnt very tall, I shouldnt have
agreed. This was so wrong.
Hey.Rahil came and sat beside me again. This was one routine I could get used to. You
look like you were awake the whole night.He looked at my face intently.
I became conscious as his eyes carefully took in my sleepless face. I had no idea I was
looking so sleep deprived and stressed.
Couldnt sleep much. Just a little tired.I tried to assure him.
It is that guy, isnt it? He inquired. Did he know? The one whom you wanted to kill
yesterday?How did he know? Nobody knew about Eshaan coming back to school. I knew
he wasnt here yet, otherwise he would have surely poked his head in the room to see me by
now.
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No. Just, I'm not feeling too well.I hated lying to him, but I didnt want him to get into all
of this mess.
Hey, beautiful.Kabeer walked in and stood next to my desk.
Hello. You sound happy today.
No tuition today.He replied easily, and then turned his attention to Rahil.
Hey man, youre quite the player.
What do you mean by that?I laughed. Rahil had never even touched me once. How was he
a player?
He made out with Shaina at Abhinavs party on Saturday. Why didnt you come?What?
No! I took a sharp intake of breath and kept my face calm.
Um...Abhinavs party? My parents didnt let me leave the house. I was on house arrest
apparently. After I came to know I was adopted, I had become somewhat of a social pariah.
Well, wow. Some party it must have been.
I felt so unbelievably vulnerable all of a sudden. The one person that I truly hated and he had
to stick his tongue down her throat. My jaw tightened as I stopped myself saying something
rude.
It was nothing, really. We didnt kiss, she pushed herself on me.He whispered, as I
continued copying someones assignment.
Yeah, cause youresoirresistible.Even though I said this sarcastically, it was truer than
other things I say truthfully.
Im sorry.
How does it matter to me, Rahil?
I dont know. But I want you to know the facts.
I glared at him. One person we both disliked in commonapparently not. Hypocrite.
She was drunk and she fell on me. She tried to kiss me, but I didnt let her.
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I was almost close to tears. Why was everything bad happening to me altogether? I dont
even know why I was so sad. He never actually showed any interest in me. He did talk to me
more than he did to other people, but that could easily be explained as him being friendly.
But Shaina? From every girl in the world, from all the people he knowsI dont like I felt
hurt and terribly betrayed.
Again, how does it matter to me, Rahil? Anyway, I have a lot of other things to think about.
I had finished copying the assignment and was back to my uncaring self cool and
unconcerned.
I looked at him then. He was observing me closely. His green eyes studying my every move
to see how much my words matched my behavior. I sat in class during break not wanting to
venture into any other trouble, and Rahil kept sitting next to me.
I felt a hand on my shoulder, I jumped and almost screamed. What has happened to you,
Ria?It was Naina. You look awful today.
Really, Naina?I said sarcastically.
Thats what Ive been trying to ask her, but she wont even say hi to me anymore and it kills
me!Sid said dramatically.
Oh, Sid.I rolled my eyes.
Rahil ignored this, I dont know whats up with her, she won't tell me. Talk some sense into
her, Naina.
How does it matter?I replied sourly.
Naina dragged me to the back of the class and made me sit with her, Sid followed us.
Whats going on?Thats why he was such an amazing friend, because he did care about
me. Not like some fake people.
What happened?Naina's face was concerned.
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You won't believe what happened yesterday.I rushed, glad to have something else on my
mind, even if it was unpleasant. Eshaan called. And not only that, he landed outside my
house in the middle of the night.I told them everything.
She looked scared too. I think he is stalking you.She quietly whispered.
I know. But why? We broke up! I dont like him, never did, never will.
How did he come back? I thought that idiot had left.Sid cursed some more.
Ria.Oh no, I groaned.
Dont forget to avenge my death.I joked with Naina. Or meet me in jail.Sid glared at
my pathetic humour.
I thought you wouldnt come to school today.Eshaan was happy to see me.
I didnt want to come. Especially since I didnt get any sleep last night. Thanks to you. Why
the hell were you outside my window?
I got a little nervous when you didnt speak to me. And your number was engaged. I didn't
mean to upset you.
Listen, Eshaan, we decided to go our separate ways, so lets just leave it at that , okay?
I turned around and then ignored him, talking to Naina.
Why was your number engaged, Ria?Naina asked. She ignored him.
I was talking to Rahil.
Do you know what happened on Saturday? Sidasked cautiously.
First thing Kabeer told me when he entered class today.I said with a falsely perky voice.
What happened?Naina hated being the last to be informed.
I dont want to talk about it.
Rahil and ShainaSid whispered to Naina.
Whatever. It doesnt make a difference to me.
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Can I drive you home today? My car will be there.Apparently what I said went straight
over his head.
I tightened my jaw again and bit back some more angry words. I ignored him. That would be
the only way to get him off my back.
Ignoring him didnt work out though.
Eshaan came to my classroom after the end of every class. Then there he was again, when
school ended, waiting to walk me back to the bus. I was relieved to be alone in the bus. I
didnt expect to see him at home. But I was wrong. He came in the night again, tapping on
my window. I promised myself to put a lock on that gate from tomorrow.
Next morning I was sleepy again, freaking out to see him outside my window. At school,
Rahil asked me what was wrong again, and again, I lied. But Rahil was getting suspicious
and I was getting freaked out, furious and a little scared at the same time.
The rest of the week passed this way. I didnt pick up any calls at home, not that I wanted to
speak to anyone. And I didnt go anywhere during that time either.
The weekend was the worst when, throughout, Eshaan stood outside my window, like a lost
puppy. Mom and dad didnt want to say anything to upset me further and also because I
wasnt back on talking terms with them. This was turning into a nuisance, but I didnt want to
talk to Eshaan at all. So I still tried to ignore him.
Why cantthe floor split open and take him to Hades fiery pits of hell?I cried aloud one
day. He had just left after the end of lunch.
Honestly Ria, drama.Nikhil rolled his eyes.
Do you want us to go beat him up? All of us guys, with cricket bats?Kabeers excessive
protectiveness was driving me mad. He would rarely come to school before because of his
engineering coaching classes. And now, there wasnt a day when he wasnt at school.
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Yeah, we should do that. Wear ski masks and go to his house at night.Sid started with his
planning. Obviously he could beat up anybody, thin and tiny that he was.
Hes at Rias house all the time though.Naina pointed.
Maybe we should do this differently, how about after school today?Rahil chipped in.
Thanks, but Ill figure something out.How does it matter to you anyway, I wanted to add to
him.
It was Friday, and Suri was at school today, which was a good thing, because I missed her,
and also because Rahil sat behind me. I couldnt make Suri sit alone, we had so much to talk
about. But my traitor self wanted to sit with Rahil, I was used to having him sit by my side
and hear him whisper something to me throughout the day. He made me smile. We would
almost always get caught laughing between classes. Its anotherthing that hes a liar.I didnt
want to think about all of my problems together.
I quickly filled Suri in with my stalker updates. She was horrified and more terrified than
either I or Naina had become. I guess she realized the relevance of the problem in my life
more than I did.
I think you should go tell Gupta.Was her first advice. This guy is more dangerous than
you could imagine.
He hasnt done anything, Suri. I tried to make the matter trivial. Poor thing. I almost
pitied him.
If you won't go, which I know you won't, I will.She threatened. I knew she would. Have
you even told your parents?
Parents I dont talk to? They think it's just an infatuated crush. They think it will pass. I
was getting awfully good at lying, but I didnthave a choice.
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I dont think it will pass. I think its going to get worse. You need to tell someone, a teacher,
his parents, him?She was making it sound like it was my fault my ex-boyfriend had gone
loco. I think the best idea is to call the police the next time he shows up outside your
window, for like trespassing, and I bet they have something for stalkers too and
harassment...She went on talking.
I think you're making a big deal out of this.I said. I am not going to talk to him.
And I think you are not taking this seriously.She was still persistent.
Because its not that serious!
I think you should listen to Suri, Ria.Rahil made himself involved in the conversation. I
had a feeling he was eavesdropping.
Rahil, I can take care of myself.I kept my voice just a little rude.
Evidently, you cannot Ria. He mimicked my tone. Whoever this person is, he is getting on
my nerves. Was Rahil angry because someone was troubling me? Why? He was so
confusing.
Im sure he is. I'll be fine.I didnt look at him much so that I would remember exactly why
I was still angry with him.
Whatever you say. Just promise me you won't do anything to get hurt, and you will call me
when you need me.It was almost like he was ordering me to promise him.
I was released from their continuous glares at the end of school. I was feeling feverish from
Rahil staring at me, my heart bouncing, and angry with Suri and Naina at glaring at me with
annoyance and concern. I needed to go home and take a long, unwinding shower. But who
knew the shower would have to wait? I hurried out the room, grabbing Suri and Naina. I
never allowed Eshaan to come near our classroom to walk me to the bus. But he caught up
with us when we were going through the cafeteria today.
Ria!He panted, it sounded like he was running after us. Wait up.
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Ill catch you guys later. Why couldnt he just leave me alone? I quickened my pace,
almost breaking out into a sprint, but he caught my arms and whirled me around. I couldnt
escape him this time.
What is up with you? I've been after you for more than a week and you refuse to speak with
me?At least he understood I was ignoring him. It was working. So I freed my arm from his
grasp and continued walking.
Ria?!This time his voice was angry, and he held my arm more tightly.
Stop acting so stubborn.
He wasnt the only with a temper though. He ticked me off when he first touched my arm. So
I stopped walking and tried to hurt him with my fierce glare.
What do you want? My voice was flat, emotionless and calm.
I want us to get back together.
That is impossible.I shook my head.
It is not. You know it. We were good together.
Nowe werent. I was adamant. I could sort this out.
Please. Why can't you just leave me alone? We broke-up!My pitch was slowly increasing.
I knew I was losing control over my anger. Why can't you understand that?!
Because I love you.He said immediately.
That is not a valid reason.
It is the onlyimportant reason.
What is your problem?I was furious now. I dont want to talk to you! Haven't you figured
that out yet? We are nothing! Stop following me around and stay the hell away from my
house. A crowd of some of my class was forming around us. But I didnt care; I was
infuriated by this constant nagging by him.
Dont create a scene.He hissed.
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Then leave me and get lost.
Why can't we have it back?I couldnt believe my ears, he was still trying?
We didnt have anythingto get back.
We had love
I laughed hysterically.
That is an understatement. YOU had a crazy obsession over me. And I never loved you,
never did and definitely never will, ever!I had successfully and single-handedly grabbed the
attention of the entire 11thgrade block. Great.
He leaned in towards me, and I realized what he was going to do.
Dont.I threatened.
But he kissed me, on my lips, with so much passion and zest, it scared me. I didnt respond.
His first kiss was the only spark I felt, after that our almost one year relationship remained
bland. I heard Suri and Naina gasp as they were frozen with the turn of events, I heard some
of the students around me hooted and booed, while others encouraged Eshaan. I pushed him,
but he didnt let go, holding my waist tightly. I heard his breathingbecome heavy, the strong
sent of his sickling-ly sweet and musky perfume was nauseating. I couldnt stand this
humiliation further, so I freed my hands, and, with all the energy I had left in me, I slapped
him across his face.
There was complete silence around us. Every face was as shocked as Eshaan's. But I di dnt
care. I had endured enough. I knew he was going to get mad, he wouldnt let me walk away
after I humiliated him in front of the entire school, but something I was not expecting was
violence.
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He pushed me against one of the walls, making a cage around me with his hand. Then he
kissed me, my lips, my face, my neck, again and again. His hands started groping my body as
it quivered under his unforgiving touch. I couldnt stop the tears pouring down my cheek,
tears of anger and hatred. Everyone around me was so stunned by what was going on, they
couldnt even move. I couldnt get my voice to scream as I stood paralysed with fear. But this
anguish lasted only for a few minutes when I heard the voice that made my heart stutter and
assured me I was going to be alright now.
Dont touch her.Rahil's voice was dead cold and terrifying.
Eshaan didnt expect the interruption. But the one second he got distracted, I pushed him off
me. Rahil took my hand and held me close to him, protectively, delicately. How many days
had I dreamed of this day, when I would be in his arms, warm and unafraid?
I'm here.He soothed me. Dont cry.Wiping away my tears, we walked away slowly.
Dude. I'm not done with that one.Eshaan was walking towards us. My breathing staggered
as my fists balled up.
I dont want to hurt you.Rahil's calm voice a second ago now sounded deadly again, like a
loaded gun longing to be fired.
Eshaan grabbed my hand, She's my girl.
From what I've heard. You guys broke up a long time back. Get over it man.
She's my girl.Eshaan repeated, forcing me out of Rahil's shielded arms.
Rahil pushed me behind him where Naina and Suri hugged me. I almost thought Suri would
say, I told you so.But she didnt and I was grateful.
Ria?I heard the guys run towards us, unaware of what just happened.
I think they are going to fight.Suri was panicked.
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It was over too quickly. I heard Eshaan curse at Rahil, as he tried to bang him toward the
thick red brick cafeteria wall. Rahil quickly moved. Eshaan missed and fell on the granite
floor. Rahil pulled Eshaan up and drove him into the hallway wall behind as the students
moved away to give them space. His fist was ready. I heard him punch Eshaan's face, and
there was an unmistakable sound of something breaking. Rahil looked murderous. I had to
stop this.
No, DONT!I yelled, running towards Rahil and holding him back.
My one touch on Rahil's shoulder made his breathing normal, made him aware of his senses.
Please dont, Rahil.I whispered. Hes not worth it.
He slowly stood up, still looking at Eshaan with the same murderous glare. Then he turned
and looked at me. His fingers gently brushed a tear from my face. He then took my hand, and
walked out of school. I sighed, and slowly relaxed. I didnt want Rahil getting into any
trouble because of me.
This guy was driving me insane.
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Chapter 3
Not a Lie
Rahil let go of my hand as we left the school premises. Then he stopped, turned around and
glared at me. His temper was directed towards me now and I gladly took it as long as he was
unscathed and not in the midst of a fight.
What is wrong with you, Ria?!
I just stared at him with curiosity. Here stood a person I barely knew who didnt hesitate
before saving me. I felt my breathing hitch and my fingers fidget as I continued staring into
his eyes un-abashedly.
Ria? His voice softened. At that moment, I realized I knew absolutely nothing about this
guy. Where he came from, who he was, what his dreams and thoughts were, what his habits
were, his flaws. Nothing.
I'm sorry. But I couldnt just let him push me around.Maybe I was stubborn. I tried to
ignore the shock my body and mind just endured. A shiver passed through my spine. I tried
not to cry. I closed my eyes to calm my body as I felt it twitch, remembering how and where
it was touched. I opened my eyes suddenly as images flashed in my dark mind. How had this
happened? I saw Rahil look at me cautiously. He took my hand in his slowly, assessing how
my body would react to a foreign touch. I felt a warmth spread over me starting from where
Rahils hand met mine. He gently caressed my face with his other hand as I let out a long sigh
of anxiety. Then he closed the distance between us and hugged me tightly. His face rested on
my head and I felt his easy breathing tickling my scalp. Another shiver passed through my
spine.
You are so stubborn. What am I going to do with you?
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He didnt believe I didnt regret shouting at Eshaan. We had stopped in front of a black Jetta
with a white clad driver opening the door. I didnt know Rahil came by car every day.
Get in.He nudged me.
I entered without any tentativeness. I was safe around Rahil. He was still angry though. I
could see his tensed eyes. They crinkled at the corners, a little narrow, and deep in thought.
His eyes amazed me. It really was true. Eyes are the windows to a persons soul. Maybe if I
just stared into Rahils eyes, I would be able to reveal all of his secrets, glimpse into the
workings of his mind and be able to tell what he was thinking.
So you get into any guy's car without a second invitation.He tried to lighten up the mood.
No wonder you get into so much trouble.
No,I tried to flirt. Only yours.
Lucky me. He laughed and winked at me.
You okay? He asked me after a moment.
Was I okay? Not yet. But I would be.
Yeah. If you hadnt come what would have happened? I thought to myself. He would
have been stopped. Maybe after a little while longer. But he wouldnt have done anything
else. He couldnt.Right? Of course he couldnt. There was no doubt about that. I would have
been fine.
But you did. I finished my thought out loud.
There was a flash of anger in his face, his jaw grinded and his eyes tightened.
That fucking bastard pissed me off the minute I first saw him. I should have beaten the shit
out of him before. His voice was low and harsh.
Rahil! No way! I stroked my fingers on his hand. He turned his face and looked out the
window.
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You dont know me when I get angry.
I kind of do. First hand eye witnessed it you know.
He didnt say anything. Then I remembered the look on his face. Maybe I wasnt sure of what
he was capable of. But I wanted to know.
If I hadnt stopped you, what were you going to do?I ignored the outside view. He didnt
answer. But I wouldnt let him get away easily.
You dont want to know. He was evading the question. He smiled at me good naturedly
and said after a pause, Nothing more, I guess.
We stopped at a red light. I hated Delhi traffic; I would get exasperated fast when I was
travelling back from school, all the buses everywhere. Today, I barely noticed all the cars and
busses around me. Today I was happy Delhi roads were jammed at this time. But he didnt
talk to me for the rest of the drive. That left me with time to think. Why did he stand up for
me? What was this we were doing? We were friends, but I hardly knew him, and he didn't
want to be known. But here I was in his car going I had no idea where. I knew I should be
grateful to him, but suddenly all my senses were on overdrive. I never paid attention to roads
before so I would never know where we could be going. Maybe my direction of thinking
went towards fear and uncertainty because of what happened today. Maybe I was still
processing everything unconsiously and that's why there was this nervousness. But those
were unnecessary worries as the car pulled into my neighbourhood.
You worry too much.He must have been observing me, get panicky and then calm.
Its become a habit.I answered truthfully.
Well, dont.
Easy for you to say.
What house number is it again?
How do you know where I live?
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Maybe, just maybe, he knew it because he came to make sure I was alright with Eshaan
hovering around at night.
I picked up Nakul for soccer practice once. Didnthe tell you?
I would have known if I was talking to him.
Want to come in?I asked before stepping out of the car.
Its been painted?He teased me. I just smiled.
We walked through the gate into my small garden towards a swing at one corner. It was my
favourite place in the whole house.
One day, Ill figure out why you lied to me.I just shrugged, but my heart did a flip because
I wished he did try to find out, because then he would hold me and tell me how everything
was going to be alright.
We sat on the swings and I realized I was closer to him than I had ever been before. I was
suddenly nervous and very conscious, making sure my arms didnt accidentally brush agains t
his.
Thank you, for today.And I really meant it. I was even scared to think about what Eshaan
would have done if nobody had still realized that he wasnt kidding around. Rahil took my
hand in his and stared right into my eyes without blinking.
You shouldnt have stopped me though.He said quietly. That fucker deserved much more
pain.
No, you would have been expelled then Rahil.I blinked away as his eyes still remained on
me. What if it had turned into a bigger fight and someone got really hurt. Just thinking about
him slightly hurt made me feel queasy.
Do you trust me, Ria?He had ignored what I said. I looked up at him again. I didnt know
how to answer this. Did I? I didnt know him. I bit my lip suddenly more scared than before
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because even if I didnt know, I really wanted to trust him and I was getting dangerously
close to doing things without thinking as I leaned in, closer to him and felt his warm minty
breath on my face. His lips were barely inches away from mine.
Ria,He said quietly, not moving away. Do you?I felt his breath on my face and I closed
my eyes and exhaled slowly. I couldnt think.
I felt him lean in closer and his lips almost touched mine. There was electricity flowing
between our lips. I opened my mouth to answer whatever my heart wanted to say.
RIA!?Someone shouted my name, and I pulled back instantly, keeping my eyes carefully
away from his as I got up to greet my brother Nakul.
Ria! Are you okay?He had walked straight up to me towering over my petite frame.
I shrugged.
No way, youre not going to give me a shrug as an answer anymore. He hissed only for me
to hear.
Are. You. Alright?He repeated pausing after every word.
Yes.I said through gritted teeth.
Ria!Kabeer stood next to Nakul. He just grasped me into a tight embrace.
Im fine.I murmured as I tried to pry myself away, but he didnt let go.
Thank God. I'm so sorry we weren't there with you. He said into my hair and I felt
uncomfortable. Then I felt Rahil hold my arm and easily pull me away, keeping me standing
dangerously close to him. I felt too nervous to think and extremely annoyed at Nakuls wrong
timing.
Thanks man. Nakul said gratefully. Even Kabeer gave Rahil a weird pat on the back as a
friendship gesture.
No problem. As long as shes safe.He smiled, genuinely concerned about my safety.
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I should be going home.Rahil said after a moment.
Yeah, thanks for everything.
I walked with him to his car. He just stood there then, waiting.
I dont know.I said quietly, answering his question.
I want to.
But?He pressed.
I didnt answer.
Oh no, Ria. Not the Shaina thing. I didnt fucking kiss her.He said rudely. I got frightened.
I never said
Its written on your face.
I didnt know what to say. Rahil
You kissed Eshaan, and I kissed Shaina. So were even now, arent we? He said
sarcastically.
I didnt, I didnt kissMy breath caught in my chest. After such a long and hard day, he
was not even trying to understand how I felt. My body felt cold and alienated. I was trying to
ignore the scars my body and my mind would always suffer. I couldnt deal with this. How
could it have happened? How could I trust anyone? I needed time to think about everything,
to deal with the consequences I might or might not face. I needed time to put this behind me
and forget about it. I would not let this affect me, ever. He got carried away. There was never
any real threat. Nothing would have happened. I would get over this irrational overdrive my
brain was going through. I could do this right? I could get over it. I could I not yet. I
couldnt yet. I needed time.
Realization crossed his face. No, you didnt. He said gently, all his anger suddenly
disappearing.
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And then without thinking, I flung my arms around his neck and buried my face into his
chest. I was so close to crying again. But I wouldnt cry. I was going to get over this. I was
going to be fine. I just tried to breathe normally. He held me, bringing me closer, gently
caressing my hair. I felt better almost instantly, and safe. I didnt want to let go. I lifted my
head to meet his eyes and all I wanted to do was kiss him and forget about everything.
Just kiss me, Rahil. I whispered. His calloused thumb brushed my lips, my whole body
tingling. I craned my neck a little higher, not wanting to wait any longer. The roughness of
his thumb on my lips was driving me insane.
Ria!?I heard someone scream my name. I cursed under my breath; couldnt a girl get a kiss
around here?
I looked at Rahil, expecting a grin on his face. But he looked blank as he stared at me and I
had no idea what he was thinking. I never had any idea about what he was thinking. He
hugged me tightly again, then kissed my forehead softly, got into his car and was gone,
leaving me completely confused.
***
So, he didnt say anything else?I had told Suri everything.
No.I said glumly.
Well. At least hes always pointing out that he didnt kiss that bitch.
Yeah, thats great. Other than the fact that hes messing around with me! I told him to kiss
me, I nevertell anyone to kiss me, and he walks away.My head hit the pillow on my bed as
I felt my self esteem plummet. Suri lives only threefour houses down my lane in Golf Link.
She had gotten home, changed and immediately came to see how I was. Of course that meant
she interrupted whatever was going to happen and that left me in a more sullen mood.
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Please, Ria. Nobodys so stupid to beat up Eshaan just to mess with you. Rahil better be
careful, Eshaans friends might hurt him.
No way, they dont have the guts. And he can take care of himself.I was sure of that.
Anyway, what happened when I left?
Gupta came, suspended Eshaan for a month at least. I think they want to expel him.
She didnt say anything for a minute.
Ria, how are you? There was concern in her voice. I tried not to think about what
happened.
Im fine. Really. Just pissed. She nodded her head.
It was getting darker and I was tired. Weekend finally and I didnt have anything much to
worry about. Just to try and forget todays events. I was fine. Just a little bit in shock and very
much annoyed.
Neither of us spoke. I knew Suri was thinking about something then, but somehow, I didnt
want to ask her what.
She sighed as her head fell on the pillow.
What?
Nothing.
Suri, what are you thinking?
You have to be careful, Ria.
I sat up looking at her, confused.
What do you mean?
She got up too, crossed her legs and looked at me.
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I mean I just think that you cant just, you know, trust anyone. I mean, how do you know
what hes thinking, right?
Youre seriously saying this?
She looked away, and then stared back at me with determination.
Why cant I trust him? Hes the only one I cantrust Suri! After everything today, what else
can a person do to gain more trust?
I felt like so pretentious saying this when I wasntable to tell myself that I do trust him. I felt
utterly dishonest. He had asked me, I hadnt answered, and now I was pouncing on Suri when
she was voicing the same concern. But I was sure now. I did trust him.
I know that Ria, but what if he has an ulterior motive? She continued.
I stared at her.
Suri, dont you like him?
Of course I do! I just think a little bit of caution won t do anyone any harm.
I tried to steer away the conversation to another direction.
See, thats why you have no boyfriend. You see each of them as a potential asshole.
Haw! I do not. She looked slightly embarrassed.
Sure you dont.
Im just waiting for Mr. Perfect.
Yeah, even I am. I cant wait to meet your Prince Charming.
She stuck out her tongue at me.
You know Ill be careful. I promise you. I reassured her.
Yeah, worst case scenario, you wont be, and Ill just have to kick his ass. Both the
situations work in my favor.
I laughed at her. This was so typical Suri. Suri and I were like sisters, we grew up together.
The first time we met was when she took away my drawing sheet in nursery school and then I
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bit her arm. How that animosity turned into friendship, I have no idea, but she was my best
friend for life. One of her best qualities was her bluntness. She was the eldest child and that
made her extremely bossy by nature but also utterly honest and responsible. She would tell
you exactly what she thought straight to your face and wouldnt care how you felt because
what she said was, pretty much, always right.
There was a knock on my door before it flew open.
Nakul!Suri greeted him cheerily.
Nakul and Suri have been friends almost as long as I and she have been. Nakul has always
been a lot of fun. His life has been one long joy ride where everything just magically falls in
place. He grinned at her in an adoring manner and for a second I wondered - what if he was
what she was looking for? For me, he would always be the annoying brother and right now I
simply hated him, but for other girls, he was charming. Nakul had a very pleasant
personality. He was easily lovable. He made friends with everyone and without any effort.
People were drawn to him because of his carefree, amicable and happy-go-lucky nature. He
was a great friend. The perfect shoulder to cry on. The perfect mouth to have a cussing or
burping contest with. My brother. Yet not mine. I tossed this thought out of my head. I would
deal with one problem at a time.
Wanna stay over for dinner?
Nah, I was just leaving.She got up and walked out of my room.
Illdrop you home.Nakul offered.
Nope, Im good. Byeyou guys.She winked at me and left. I was still not moving from my
bed. Nakul came and sat down. I ignored him.
How are you?He waited for me to answer. I didnt.
Are you still mad? Areyoumad? Do you want me to go tell mom and dad?
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Yeah, go tellyourparents Nakul, how the bloody hell does it matter to me?
He sighed. Come for dinner, moms calling.
Im not hungry.I rolled away and buried my face in my pillow. A couple of minutes later, I
heard Nakul leave. I got up, closed the doors, switched off the lights, put my I-pod to max
and finally went off to sleep.
I still got up reasonably early. My parents were having breakfast when I finally left my room.
Join us for breakfast Ria.My mom said nonchalantly.
Im not hungry.I spoke to the wall.
Rubbish. Sit down. She pointed to the seat opposite her. I hesitated. Now. She said
firmly. I knew Nakul had told them what had happened yesterday.
Obviously I sat. I nibbled on a piece of bread.
Anything you would like to tell us, Ria?My dad asked patiently. My dads a doctor and
therefore a very patient man, but I could hear the anger seep into his voice.
I didnt answer.
Ria?My mom said sharply.
No.I replied monosyllabaly.
Oh, really?I could hear the anger building up in her. Because Nakul had something else to
say, and Ravi called us yesterday with some interesting news.Ravi was Principal Gupta.
I got up to leave. What else could I do?
Sit down, Ria.My mom said, getting angrier by the second.
Im not hungry.
That doesnt matter. Were not done talking to you. So sit down, and if you dont want to
talk, then listen.My dad was also losing his calm demeanor.
What do you guys want?
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Nah-uh. No way are we going to put up with this any longer. Yes, we made a mistake by not
telling you, but I think youve punished us enough. Now its time tostop this drama before I
lose my mind and scream.
Youre already doing that.I pointed out.
Dont talk to your mother like that, Ria.
Dont say it. Dont say it! I told myself. Shes not my mother.This was followed by a long
silence. My mothers shocked eyes forced me to look away from them.
Im just stating the truth.I said stoically. I felt like dying from inside. Why couldnt I be
quiet for once in my life? Why couldnt Ijust shut up instead of hurting the people around?
How could you say this to me?Tears glistened in her eyes. After everything that I did,
never once did you come to know that you were adopted. Why?She screamed. because I
never treated you any different. You were mydaughter, my baby...Her voice was breaking.
And now, I dont know what youve become.
I tried hard not to cry. But I felt like I was being choked and there was no air to breathe.
Nothing in my life looked right, from where I was sitting. Everything was coming crashing
down on me all at once. I couldnt face all of these problems. I wish I could just ignore it all,
everything, and just go to my mom and lay my head in her lap as shed gently stroke my hair.
I wish I could just sit with my dad and talk about the difference between right and wrong in
every situation politics, movie or book reviews, music, science, human behavior... He
always let me form my own opinions and let me decide what I thought was correct. He had so
much faith in me. He always told me, You can do anything, Ria. Today, he looked at me
with disappointment and sadness. But I just didnt have the strength to face this. It was so
much easier pretending like nothing mattered. So much easier to just ignore my problems.
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truth was in a stupid file that I desperately wished was a nightmare. I walked out into the
corridor leading to my parents study. But what did I want to do? Cry over a stupid
parchment? Would the ink wash away? Would it become a lie?
Ria? I heard a voice, and my heart elated and then shrunk. I didnt want to be seen. I
wanted to disappear. He stood behind me; my hand was pushing the door open to my parents
room. Should I just run in and close the door? I didnt have time to decide. I felt c ompletely
hollow from inside, my eyes burnt because of the sudden dryness. Then I felt a hand hold my
arm, his calloused fingers sending shock waves throughout my body. I didnt want to turn
around though, show my weakness. Be vulnerable and broken. So I breathed in calmly,
plastered a smile on my face and waited as he turned me around to look at him.
Hi. I didnt know you guys were here. Soccer over?My voice didnt break even once, but it
took every ounce of energy in me to not push him away and run down to my room.
He looked at me and didnt answer. He touched the little wetness below my eye of my
eyelashes, brushed his fingers on my dry, torn lips and then took me into his arms and held
me. I stood limply, not moving, my hands to my side.
Hey, Im here baby.He whispered into my hair and I fell. The tears were out of my eyes
again, my hands were around his neck, my face rested on his chest. I tried to compose myself.
But I was unable to. He held on to me, and I just wanted to be held, no questions asked. I
dont know for how long we stood there like this, all I could remember was him gently
caressing my hair, and the strong smell of perfume from his neck, and the wetness of his
washed hair, and the warmness of his shirt. And thats all I wanted to concentrate on.
I finally pulled away, when I had wiped my tears dry on his shirt and my breathing was back
to normal. Some of my hair was stuck to his shirt because of electrostatic force, and
unwittingly, I smiled at the thought of physics.
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So beautiful, what are your plans for today?He was easily changing the mood around us.
But, in what way did I look beautiful? I had no idea; nevertheless goose bumps erupted on
my entire body.
I have tuition, then I have to finish my project, finish my chemistry practical. Then I need to
finish my homework and start studying for the unit tests because I barely passed my first
terms.
You worry too much Ria.
But before that I need a shower.I ignored him. Thats what I really wanted to do the entire
day. Just read a book, laze around and cool my head under water.
Do you want me to join you?He asked innocently. I stopped thinking about other things I
had to do.
Yes.I replied back, as innocently. He looked at me, a little taken aback, and then grinned,
his dimple more pronounced.
Oh, you shouldnt have said that. Now Im not going to let you go.
I smiled at him, biting my lower lips nervously. Everything he said had a double meaning.
Dont lose that smile. Its too precious for me.
I felt the roughness of his fingers on my face again, and was getting recklessly addicted to it.
He brushed his fingers down my jaw, tracing my lips. He lifted my chin up as he bent down,
his face closer to mine. And I wanted him to kiss me, just not like this.
No, Rahil.
Why?
Because I look like shit.
I think you look sexy.The warm air between our lips was not letting me think coherently.
Dinner today?
How about Friday?
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Why?
Because I might still be in a lousy mood and ruin everything.
Youre unbelievable.I heard footsteps coming up stairs.
Shit. Do I look any better?
You dont look any worse.He said, trying not to laugh.
Thanks.I said acidly.
If youre talking about your eyes, I liked them more when they were kinda red and swollen.
My jaw tightened. He was making fun of me!
As for your hair,He continued, catching a few stray strands and tucking them behind my
ears. I felt a chill pass through my body.
It looks like you just woke up.
Youre choosing your words very carefully, Mr. Kanik.I observed.
It was a tough question.
I tried to look at him in a menacing manner, he just smiled.
Hey there. Kabeer said enthusiastically. His grin faded a little as he saw Rahil and me
standing so close. I tried not to look guilty.
Hey Kabeer! How was the match?I ignored Nakul.
We won, obviously.Sid joined us, with food in his mouth.
Can you ever not eat?
Obviously not. Rahil, we were wondering where you had disappeared. Nikhil joined us. He
was chewing with his mouth open.
You look like shit, did you just get up?Sid said with his mouth still full.
Thanks Sid. And yes I did.This guy was unbelievably annoying, my stupid best friend.
Youre a goalie, arent you?It struck me suddenly.
A bloody brilliant one.Nakul stated.
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How do you know?Rahil asked me. I held his hand and ran my fingers through his.
Oh.He said sheepishly, running his other hand through his hair. I felt a thrill of excitement.
We have to leave. Kabeerinterrupted us.
Unless, of course, you want to stay? Sidpointed sweetly. He walked away with Nakul, and
Nikhil. Kabeer followed after a few seconds, still within earshot.
Rahil enfolded me in his arms tightly again.
The offer still stands, you know.He said in a low voice so that the others couldnt hear.
What offer?
Of me joining you for a shower. He said casually. I blushed this time, and to hide my
embarrassment, I pushed him out of the narrow corridor towards the stairs.
Just go, silly.I shoved him playfully.
Ill call you later.He winked at me. I smiled back, already waiting.
Maybe I wasnt alone after all. So I forgot my morning endeavor and spent the weekend like
the truth didnt matter.
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Chapter 4
Crazy Confessions
So, hows lover boy? Great, Sid had found Rahil a nick name. He was very observant
though, Rahil and I were acting like idiots. Stealing glances at each other, carefully yet
cleverly, carelessly brushing our hands. And then there was the obvious, I was wearing lip-
gloss and kohl again. It looked au naturel, but Sid saw the difference in me.
Hes good, I guess? Still, technically, nothing was happening between us, so he wasn't my
lover boy yet. He was kicking around the soccer ball at the front of the class with Nikhil and
surprisingly Kabeer, and he looked unbelievably hot. He caught me looking at him and
smiled. I bit my lips, my heart suddenly accelerating.
Its too good to be true, something has to be wrong with him.
Dont jinx your luck, stupid. Sid always gave good advice. The bell rang. Lets go, we
have library.
Umm, you go, Ill join you.
He smirked evilly. Naina, Suri, move it women. He called out.
We were alone.
So, youre planning to bunk library class? How adventurous. Rahil was still playing with
the ball.
Im just being more cautious.
And being alone with me is being cautious, how? He stopped kicking the ball and kept his
eyes on me.
Whatever do you mean, Rahil? I asked innocently.
He smiled at me mischievously, then grabbed me by my waist and pulled me to him.
Ive been meaning to do this since the second I saw you.
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I looked at him to ask him what he meant and felt his lips gently meet mine. And he kissed
me.
***
Youve got to help me. I whined on the phone to Suri. It was already Friday . The week had
passed by quite interestingly, and today was my big official date. It was just five, but I was
already anxious about meeting up with Rahil. I called up Suri after I took a long shower,
concentrating on getting my thoughts organized.
I'm onmy way. Suri was more excited than I was.
Before I properly changed into some comfortable shorts and an old tee-shirt, Suri was
barging into my room.
If you are planning to wear something that hideous, I won't let you step out of the house , or
even this room. She warned me.
Am I crazy? I need to look completely stunning. I was not wearing these clothes out
anywhere. She never liked it when I dressed plain, I should always be looking good. But I
was too lazy to always look good and wear good clothes when I could wear something
comfortable and easy.
How about this? She tossed me a tight black top. I just looked at her like she was mad.
I'm going on a first date. I need something subtle, yet spectacular. I didnt know what to
wear. It also depended on where he was taking me. What if it was just some bourgeois place
and I would be too dressed up, or some extravagant place and I would be under-dressed.
What if he didnt turn up? I started imagining all the possible ways I could end up at home
crying - alone.
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Stop fidgeting. You look gorgeous. We had finally decided on a simple black lace dress
with a black satin belt that tied into a bow at the back. My hair was tied up, some of my curls
falling on my neck. I didnt put much make up, just the us ual kohl and gloss. My mom was
curious why I was dressed up after so long. I tried to ignore the feeling of guilt. I didnt want
to think about the problems my life had right now, and telling her I was going out with a boy
wouldnt make matters any better.
The bell rang, startling me, I stood up carefully. Trust Suri to get me into one of her
impossible - to - walk - in stilettos.
He was on time, looking suave in a white shirt and blue jeans. I looked at him, my heart
lurching. I gave Suri a quick hug and walked out the door.
You look beautiful. He put his hand on my waist, as my heart danced. I smelled a light hint
of perfume mixed with a distinctive smell of his. Rahil always smelt a little citrusy, like
oranges, and dry wood. It was a weird description, but it reminded me of an orange grove. It
was so different and exhilarating at the same time.
In front of me stood a sin. A claret jaguar xk so beautiful I thought, no, I knew I was dead and
in some crazy car heaven.
Im not getting into that thing. I said completely intimidated.
What? Why? The pride on his face disappeared.
Because, this is preposterous. Are you insane?
But you like fast cars? He was so cute when he was confused.
Fast cars, not unreasonable cars.
But the shinning splendor was dancing before my eyes and I was hypnotized.
Ill go get another car. He murmured to himself.
What? No. No other car.
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But you just said not this car. Make up your mind already.
Fine. My breath completely exhilarated. This car. But only if I looked at him
innocently. I drive.
Oh, hell no, Ria.
Please, Rahil. Please,please!
You dont even have a license.
Yeah, and you do?
Yup. He said casually.
How old are you? I blurted out.
He grinned, saying proudly, Already18.
I knew he was older than the other guys in my class, more mature.
I wanted to stick out my tongue, childishly. But that wouldnt help my case.
Youre taking me to Khan Market which is two minutes from here. Ill just come on the road
and drive safe and
and well wound up in jail because you dont have a license and youll end up murdering
someone.
We wont get caught, and I drive well. He didnt say anything, so I appealed my case
further.
Please Rahil, please
And how could he say no to me?
Fine. Though reluctantly, I could see a smile sneak into his face.
Though the area is only five minutes away from my house, it took me 15 minutes to just
figure out how to drive a stick. Rahil found me extremely amusing. I didnt give him a
chance to make much fun of me though.
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He made me park the car in front of a pub.
You're taking me clubbing? That I didnt expect.
No silly. But if you want to go there No, I didnt, there are crazy drunk people there, and
I didnt want a repeat of the incident at school. Maybe another time, maybe next time, I
would be dressed differently then, not so subtle.
He opened the car door for me as I tried to look unruffled by the car. I thought chivalry was
dead, apparently not.
I wobbled on my stilettos trying to balance myself. I hope my feet survive today, they were
already aching.
Are you sure you can walk in those. He looked at my leg for a longer than necessary
moment. I blushed.
I'll be fine. Hopefully.
We walked on the streets of Khan Market, and entered a small Chinese restaurant that I had
never noticed before. It was already crowded. We got our seat at a corner, overlooking the
streets; it was a private corner with white, see through curtains and wooden screens, blocking
us from the rest of the restaurant. The only light was the candles on our ivory table. It was
perfect.
Dinner started with ordering and then concentrating on not trying to drop food on my dress.
Rahil and I spent the first 10 minutes trying to use chopsticks gracefully and actually getting
food into our mouths. But then we just gave up as our conversation easily steered into funny
stories.
Even though everything was overwhelming, in a good way, none of the guys would take girls
to such a classy restaurant, I felt uneasy, like something was going to happen.
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