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PARENTGUIDE
In todays fast paced
digital age, often parents feelleft behind while their childrenseem to be easily navigating
every rapid change andinnovation. It is no wonder
many parents are at a loss ofhow to assist, monitor and
guide their children throughthe digital maze of the Web
2.0 explosion.
Often parents either make
quick and extreme decisionsor no decision at all regardingtechnology because they just
dont know enough about it.We hope this guide begins to
assist parents in makinginformed decisions about
technology, social media andthe internet that are best for
their children and family.
Contents:Social Media! 2-5Compiled by Eliezer Jones, Ph.D
Internet & Technology! 6-7Compiled by Rabbi NormanLowenthal, MSW, MS Ed., LCSW-C
Cyberbullying! 8-12Compiled by Rona Novick, Ph.D.
Special thanks to Yeshivat Noam (Paramus, NJ) for their partnership in
addressing this important issue. We would also like to thank Rabbi Norman
Lowenthal, MSW, MS Ed., LCSW-C ([email protected]) and Dr.
Rona Novick([email protected]) for their contributions to the guide.
Resource Guide Designed by:
Eliezer Jones, Ph.D.Educational Technology Specialist
Institute for University-School PartnershipAzrieli Graduate School of Jewish Education and Administration
Yeshiva University
A division of Azrieli Graduate School ofJewish Education and Administration
mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected] -
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Social Networking Sites for KidsThe most popular digital communitiesfor every ageBy Melissa Rayworth, Parenting
Today, kids start wading intothe social networking watersas soon as their little fingerscan type, exploring digital"communities," many of themdesigned mainly to stoke
their fascination withparticular toys. New siteslaunch constantly, targetingan ever-younger audience.
KINDERGARTEN THROUGHEARLY SCHOOL AGE
The focus is on communalgame-playing and earningpoints to buy virtual things,rather than socializing.
There's some messagingbetween friends, but mostsites allow young kids onlyto post messages using
prewritten, generic phrases or wordsfrom a tightly restricted dictionary.Kids can't share personal informationlike a home address. Among the mostpopular:
Webkinz.com: Free for one year withpurchase of a Webkinz or Lil'Kinz toy.Owners feed and clothe digitalversions of their plush "pets" and playgames to earn virtual "KinzCash."They can play video games againstother kids or take quizzes designedfor players 5+. They're rewarded forspending lots of time on the site, soyou may need to impose time limits.Safety-wise, kids can't type messagesthat go beyond select phrases unlessa parent approves their access to the
"KinzChat PLUS" area. In that area(recommended for ages 10+), kidscan only use words from the site'sdictionary.
ClubPenguin.com: This hugely popularDisney-owned website charges amembership fee (about $5/month,depending on the plan you choose).Kids are represented by penguinavatars rather than by images ofthemselves. By playing games, theyearn virtual money to clothe andaccessorize their penguins anddecorate their igloos. They can sendother penguins a "buddy invite," visittheir igloo, chat using predeterminedphrases -- unless they get clearancefrom parents to chat freely -- and sendpostcards, among other things. (They
can also snub each other!) Designedfor kids 6-14, but open to all ages.
ELEMENTARY AND MIDDLESCHOOL
Whyville.com: Free, designed for kids8-15. Like Webkinz and ClubPenguin,it involves playing games to earnvirtual money (in this case, "clams")for use in building an avatar. Ratherthan being represented as a cartoon
animal, Whyville members createavatars that represent their physicalselves. That's one step closer to thevibe of more grown-up sites, but it'sstill more a virtual world/gamingspace than a true social networkingsite. Chat among new members isrestricted to prewritten phrases, butthose who pass a "chat licensetest" (to show they understand onlinesafety) have more freedom to typepersonal messages to friends. Some
words are blacklisted. This site doesn'thawk toys and is more educationalthan most.
Dgamer.com (Disney XD): Access isfree with purchase of certain Disneyvideo games. Kids have avatars, canchat and send virtual gifts, but thepriority is gaming via the networkingcapability of a Nintendo DS. Thebasic chat function allows only
prewritten phrases. Parental approvalis required for more advancedchatting ("Open Chat" and "SpeedChat Plus"), which is watched over byhuman moderators. A warning: Teachkids the difference between Dgamer's"public chat" (where strangers canread and join their conversations) and"private chat" (limited to those you'veapproved as friends).
YOUNG TEENS AND BEYOND
MySpace and Facebook were oncethe realm of college students andgrown-ups, but high school and evenmiddle school kids have discoveredthem. Facebook is now open toanyone 13 and older, and theminimum age on MySpace is 14.
Sound far away? Your kids mayalready be seeing their friends' oldersiblings using these sites, or they mayeven have fudged their birthdate toregister themselves! If you're notalready using them, learn about themnow.
Both sites offer broad freedom to postwords, images, audio files and video.So step one is talking with your kidsabout the importance of not sharing
personal information with strangers,not posting photos that couldembarrass themselves or their friends,and steering clear of cyber-bullying.But the risk with these sites is thatanyone can post a comment aboutyour child or identify them in thecaption of an embarrassing photo --kids can't control their friends'behavior. Older versions of a webpage are stored on servers and canpop up when your child least expects
it" --" like during the collegeadmissions process.
Your child shouldn't accept "friendrequests" from people he or shedoesn't know well. Join these sitesalong with your kids and immediatelyset up a "friend" connection withthem. They may not like it, but thenyou can see who their friends are andwhat they're posting.
SocialMedia
http://webkinz.com/http://webkinz.com/http://dgamer.com/http://whyville.com/http://clubpenguin.com/http://myspace.com/http://facebook.com/http://facebook.com/http://facebook.com/http://myspace.com/http://myspace.com/http://dgamer.com/http://dgamer.com/http://whyville.com/http://whyville.com/http://clubpenguin.com/http://clubpenguin.com/http://webkinz.com/http://webkinz.com/ -
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Talk to your kids/students aboutwhat is appropriate and notappropriate information torelease on the Internet. Take anactive role in their digital life.
Protect your kids digital identityby creating news alerts for theirname on Google, Yahoo! &MSN.
Talk about the implicationslifecasting (a continualbroadcast of events in a person'slife through digital media) can
and will have on their future.
Remind kids that the web is that"permanent record" we were allwarned about. Even though yougo back and change that blogentry or delete that embarrassingphoto, the information is archivedon the Internet Archive/WaybackMachine.
Whether it's Club Penguin,MyYearbook or MySpace--makesure your kids learn how andwhy they should use privacyfilters--and then double check tomake sure they are using them.
Visit the sites your kids use andread the TOS (Terms of Service)
and/or Community Guidelines.Learn how to report abuse andshare the information with your
kids. And while you're at it, learnmore about the Children's OnlinePrivacy Protection Act (COPPA).
Social networks are self-policing,if you find objectionable content,bullying or other abusereport it!
Think of it as a 21st CenturyNeighborhood Watch program.
http://www.debaird.net/
FACEBOOK LINGO
Profile: A group of pages that act as acombination of an online journal,
message board, and photo album.Facebook profiles may include yourwork information, hometown, photos,
interests, and messages from friends on
your "wall" (see next entry).
Wall: A virtual message board onFacebook, where friends type
messages and can comment on the
photos, videos, and status updatesyou've posted on your profile. The wall
can be a source of embarrassmentwhen friends leave messages
referencing incidents best leftunmentioned (often beginning with "I
was just remembering that time...").This is where the delete function comesin handy.
Status Update: This feature lets youpost a short note about your status(what you're doing at any given time)
and lends itself to abuse by theuninhibited ("Jane is going to theproctologist"). To tell all (or just alittle), fill in the "What's on your mind?"
field on your personal profile pageand click on the button to share.
Friend: Anyone whom you accept intoyour online circle, and anyone whoaccepts you into theirs, is called a
"friend," whether the person is a closerelative or a complete stranger. Thistitle in no way confers an actual
relationship of any sort and may lead
to learning superfluous personal details
about casual acquaintances (see"Status Update").
Poke: A friendlyand sometimes
flirtatiousway of saying hello tofriends and more-than-friends. To send
a virtual poke, click on the related link
on friends' profile pages. Your friends
receive private notification of theactionletting them know you're tryingto get their attention. We say: Keep
poking to a minimum. And if you do it,remember your manners: All poking
should be welcome and consensual.
News Feed: This up-to-the-minute
feature on the Facebook home pagealerts you to your friends' profile
updatesphotos added or work
information changed, for example. Thenews feed was a controversial featurewhen it was added in 2006, as users
first believed the constant broadcastingof information would violate theirprivacy (see next entry).
Privacy: A term dating back to circa2004...before the invention ofFacebook and other social-networking
sites. Generally regarded as pass.
Source: http://www.aarp.org
_______________________________
Decoding Internet Lingo
& Character Symbols
http://www.theantidrug.com/advice/teens-
today/teens-and-technology/internet-
lingo.aspx
http://www.theantidrug.com/advice/teens-today/teens-and-technology/internet-lingo.aspxhttp://www.theantidrug.com/advice/teens-today/teens-and-technology/internet-lingo.aspxhttp://www.aarp.org/http://www.theantidrug.com/advice/teens-today/teens-and-technology/internet-lingo.aspxhttp://www.theantidrug.com/advice/teens-today/teens-and-technology/internet-lingo.aspxhttp://www.theantidrug.com/advice/teens-today/teens-and-technology/internet-lingo.aspxhttp://www.theantidrug.com/advice/teens-today/teens-and-technology/internet-lingo.aspxhttp://www.theantidrug.com/advice/teens-today/teens-and-technology/internet-lingo.aspxhttp://www.theantidrug.com/advice/teens-today/teens-and-technology/internet-lingo.aspxhttp://www.aarp.org/http://www.aarp.org/http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2009/01/social-networking-safety-tips-for-parents-educators.htmlhttp://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2009/01/social-networking-safety-tips-for-parents-educators.htmlhttp://www.ftc.gov/privacy/privacyinitiatives/childrens.htmlhttp://www.ftc.gov/privacy/privacyinitiatives/childrens.htmlhttp://www.myspace.com/http://www.myspace.com/http://www.myyearbook.com/http://www.myyearbook.com/http://www.clubpenguin.com/http://www.clubpenguin.com/http://www.archive.org/index.phphttp://www.archive.org/index.phphttp://www.archive.org/index.phphttp://www.archive.org/index.phphttp://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2008/07/memo-to-gen-y-f.htmlhttp://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2008/07/memo-to-gen-y-f.htmlhttp://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2007/03/gen_y_growing_u.htmlhttp://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2007/03/gen_y_growing_u.htmlhttp://alerts.yahoo.com/http://alerts.yahoo.com/ -
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5 Fun and Safe Social Networksfor Children
TOGETHERVILLE
Parents can sign up their children by using their ownFacebook accounts to create a profile for their kids onthis Facebook-like site. Once parents have selectedfriends for their children by searching other studentsat their childs schools, adding family friends from
their own Facebook profiles, and sending e-mailinvites, children have access to selected YouTubevideos, games, and creative projects. The site has otherfeatures that mirror Facebook, like the ability toheart it, buy and send gifts using a virtual currency(the twist is that parents give the currency to theirchildren free of cost as allowance), and share videosand other parts of the site with their friends.
Where the site departs from Facebook puts manyparents minds at rest: no outside links, nounapproved friends, and no private conversations. Inorder to post original comments instead of pre-set
options, children must agree to this code of conduct: Iagree to not say anything mean or hurtful, not sayembarrassing things about myself, my friends, or myfamily, and take responsibility for what I say onTogetherville.
Togethervilles target age group is under 10, whichmakes pre-set comment options like Hampsters areso CUTE! understandable. The site also facilitatesparents participation in their childrens introduction tosocial media by encouraging parent-child interaction.Not only can parents view their childs social networkactivity, but they can also post messages to his or herwall, allocate virtual allowances, and send virtualgifts.
WHATs WHAT
This site is probably the most secure social network forkids on this list. In order to sign their children up,parents need to submit their credit card information toverify their identity and they must submit three mugshots (taken with a webcam) of their child for thesites records. As with every site on this list, I was still
able to create a profile as an adult and thereforebrowse friends in my grade, which I selected asseventh. Unlike the other sites, however, the WhatsWhat team had discovered my adult presence (viathose mug shots) within about six hours and blockedmy profile.
While children are free to interact with people they
dont know, they cant make friends with people whoare out of their age group (in their grade or one gradebelow or above theirs) without parental permission.Beyond this, the network functions much like theothers: users can exchange messages, make friends,join and create groups, and view their friends profiles.Parents can edit or delete their childrens profiles atany time, and everything posted on the site ismonitored.
The intended age group for the site is between 8 and14, which seems realistic given that two big draws ofsocial networking the ability to make friends with
new people and share your thoughts with others areretained.
SCUTTLEPAD
To sign up for ScuttlePad, kids provide their birthday,favorite color, first name, and parents e-mail address,and theyre not allowed on the site until their parentsapprove it. Once logged in, theyre free to postmessages, make friends, upload photos, and makecomments but with a catch. All comments on the siteneed to follow a given format and use a given set ofwords. Messages are composed within the framework,Im click, click, click, with each click leading to achoice of words. Photos are manually approved byScuttlePad, and only first names are used on the site.
The comment outline feature makes the site moresecure. Realistically, anyone of any age, with anymalicious intention, could sign up, but its hard to domuch damage with the pre-set communication options.Similarly, its impossible to cyber bully or even reallyhurt anyones feelings using the preset options.
On the other hand, this feature can be restricting to
the point of making the online experience dull to olderkids. The site is intended to teach children ages 6 to 11about how to use a social media site, and it definitelyaccomplishes that goal. It might be most engaging,however, for kids on the younger end of that agegroup.
giantHello
Parents can verify their identities and sign theirchildren up for giantHello by either providing the lastfour digits of their social security number or by
charging one cent to a credit card. Beyond that, thesite provides the social networking experience thatcomes closest to mainstream social media networks,making it more appealing to older children who wantmore autonomy than is allowed on some of the othersites.
Profile pages function much like a Facebook wall:
friends can leave comments, children can update theirstatus, and activity on the site like joining groups is reported on their page. Children also have optionsto send private message, upload photos, and join thefan pages of celebrities like the Jonas Brothers andRyan Seacrest, which are updated via the celebritiesTwitter feeds.
As far as the social media experience goes, giantHelloparts from its mainstream counterpart by removingthe search for friends function. Children need toeither invite friends via an e-mail or print out a pagewith an invitation code to give them. Therefore, they
cant make friends with people who they dont know.
Skid-e Kids
Skid-e kids relies on staff moderators for most of itssecurity features: if a comment is flagged by a filterfor inappropriate language or disclosure of personallyidentifiable information, it is sent to humanmoderation; all photos are checked by moderators;users submit articles and stories for a written by yousection that are edited for inappropriate language andpersonal information before theyre posted; andinterest group pages are moderated.
Unlike most sites, parents and children both areencouraged to create profiles on the same network.Users can exchange messages, update their statuses,upload video (which needs to be approved before it isposted), and compete against each other for highscores on any of the free games on the site.Unfortunately most of these games are prefaced byads, and although they are advertised as educational,its hard to see how something like Powerpuffcoloring fits this description.
The advantage of this site, especially for olderchildren, is that much of the moderation is provided bthe site itself. Parents arent required to constantlycheck in or approve decisions, but can instead focus oninteracting with their children on the same network.
http://mashable.com/2010/10/11/social-networks-children/
http://www%2Cmashable.com/category/youtubehttp://www%2Cmashable.com/category/youtubehttp://mashable.com/2010/10/11/social-networks-children/http://mashable.com/2010/10/11/social-networks-children/http://mashable.com/2010/10/11/social-networks-children/http://mashable.com/2010/10/11/social-networks-children/http://mashable.com/2010/10/11/social-networks-children/http://mashable.com/2010/10/11/social-networks-children/http://mashable.com/2010/10/11/social-networks-children/http://www%2Cmashable.com/category/youtubehttp://www%2Cmashable.com/category/youtube -
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Growing Up Online
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/
kidsonline/FRONTLINE on PBSreleased a new program
discussing how the
Internet is transformingchildhood.
iSAFE America
http://www.isafe.org/iSAFE is a non-profit
organization that offers
Internet Safety educationand materials for
students, teachers,parents, and law
enforcement.
StaySafe.orghttp://www.staysafe.org/
Wide range of information oncomputer, gaming and Internet safety.Materials for kids, teens and parents.
IkeepSafe
http://www.ikeepsafe.org/The Internet Keep Safe Coalition
group teaches basic rules of Internetsafety to children and parents.
Governors and/or first spousesformed this coalition in partnershipwith crime prevention organizations,law enforcement agencies,foundations and corporate sponsors.
WiredSafety
http://www.wiredsafety.org/
WiredSafety is an online safety,education and help group thatfocuses on assisting law enforcement
on preventing and investigatingcybercrimes education, providinginformation on online safety, privacy
and security.
Safety is No Game. Is Your Family Set?
Make a PACT Today!
http://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-
de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdf
A tool to help promote healthy andbalanced media use. From Microsoft
and National PTA.
Childnet International
http://www.childnet-int.org/A non-profit organization working
with others to help make the Internet
a fun and safe place for children.
Center for Media and Child Health
http://www.cmch.tv/
Conducts and advances scientificresearch on the effects of media onyoung minds and bodies; develops
and evaluates clinical interventions;and educates children, parents, andthe public on media and their effects
on the physical, mental, and socialhealth of all children.
Social Networking Safety tips for
Bebo, Facebook, MySpace andYouTube: http://buk.cc/cNwSP9
Recommended privacy settings foryoung teens -- and their parentshttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/
architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.html
Cross-Generational Dialogue on theEthics of Digital Lifehttp://bit.ly/9TZXRX
MySpace Safety for Parents &Teachershttp://bit.ly/MySpaceSafety101
Social Safetyhttp://www.socialsafety.org/
Tips from Microsoft on how tomanage your online reputation
http://www.microsoft.com/protect/parents/cyberethics/reputation.aspx
Facebook Safety Resources for
Parents, Teachers & Teenshttp://www.debaird.net/
blendededunet/2010/04/facebook-
security-and-safety-resources-for-parents-teachers-teens.html
Tips forUsing Facebook with Youthhttp://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2009/09/tips-for-
parents-teachers-using-facebook-with-
students.html
Facebook for Parents
http://facebookforparents.org/
Kids In Mind
http://www.kids-in-mind.com/Site fordetailed and completeinformation about movie content.
resources
http://www.wiredsafety.org/http://www.wiredsafety.org/http://www.ikeepsafe.org/http://www.ikeepsafe.org/http://www.staysafe.org/http://www.staysafe.org/http://www.isafe.org/http://www.isafe.org/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://buk.cc/cNwSP9http://www.cmch.tv/http://www.childnet-int.org/http://www.childnet-int.org/http://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://facebookforparents.org/http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2009/09/tips-for-parents-teachers-using-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2009/09/tips-for-parents-teachers-using-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2010/04/facebook-security-and-safety-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2010/04/facebook-security-and-safety-http://www.cmch.tv/http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2010/04/facebook-security-and-safety-http://www.microsoft.com/protect/parents/cyberethics/reputation.aspxhttp://www.socialsafety.org/http://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://bit.ly/MySpaceSafety101http://bit.ly/MySpaceSafety101http://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://bit.ly/9TZXRXhttp://www.wiredsafety.org/http://www.wiredsafety.org/http://www.wiredsafety.org/http://www.wiredsafety.org/http://www.wiredsafety.org/http://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://www.kids-in-mind.com/http://www.kids-in-mind.com/http://facebookforparents.org/http://facebookforparents.org/http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2009/09/tips-for-parents-teachers-using-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2009/09/tips-for-parents-teachers-using-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2009/09/tips-for-parents-teachers-using-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2009/09/tips-for-parents-teachers-using-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2009/09/tips-for-parents-teachers-using-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2009/09/tips-for-parents-teachers-using-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2010/04/facebook-security-and-safety-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2010/04/facebook-security-and-safety-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2010/04/facebook-security-and-safety-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2010/04/facebook-security-and-safety-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2010/04/facebook-security-and-safety-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2010/04/facebook-security-and-safety-http://www.microsoft.com/protect/parents/cyberethics/reputation.aspxhttp://www.microsoft.com/protect/parents/cyberethics/reputation.aspxhttp://www.microsoft.com/protect/parents/cyberethics/reputation.aspxhttp://www.microsoft.com/protect/parents/cyberethics/reputation.aspxhttp://www.socialsafety.org/http://www.socialsafety.org/http://bit.ly/MySpaceSafety101http://bit.ly/MySpaceSafety101http://bit.ly/9TZXRXhttp://bit.ly/9TZXRXhttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://buk.cc/cNwSP9http://buk.cc/cNwSP9http://www.cmch.tv/http://www.cmch.tv/http://www.cmch.tv/http://www.cmch.tv/http://www.childnet-int.org/http://www.childnet-int.org/http://www.childnet-int.org/http://www.childnet-int.org/http://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://www.wiredsafety.org/http://www.wiredsafety.org/http://www.wiredsafety.org/http://www.wiredsafety.org/http://www.ikeepsafe.org/http://www.ikeepsafe.org/http://www.ikeepsafe.org/http://www.ikeepsafe.org/http://www.staysafe.org/http://www.staysafe.org/http://www.staysafe.org/http://www.staysafe.org/http://www.isafe.org/http://www.isafe.org/http://www.isafe.org/http://www.isafe.org/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/ 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Put the computer in a
common room not in thechilds bedroom.
Learn about the
technology. Ask your childto be your guide.
Talk with children/teens
about what they may andmay not do on line.
Set limits. Decide if, how
often and for how longyour child can use thetechnology devices.
Learn what your child uses
the computer or othertechnology for.
Teach children/teens that
not everything seen on the
Internet is either true orvaluable.
Get to know your childs
online friends as you wouldtheir offline friends.
Be open with children;
encourage them to come to
you if they encounter aproblem.
Learn about blocking,filtering and monitoring.
Realize these things cannotprotect children/teens from
all dangers in cyberspace.Use time controls, blocking,
filtering and or monitoring
software.
Be sensitive to your childs
concerns about privacy,
but also realize it is aparents responsibility toprotect their child.
How to Talk To a Teen Aboutthe Internet
Adapted from: www.cyberangels.org
First and foremost, be sure in yourresolve to listen to your teen, notjudge. Make sure you, as the parent,
are ready to hear ALL that your teen
may tell you.Communicate openly with
him/her. Start with
conversations, notinterrogations. It is vital to
open the doors ofcommunication with your
teen, so that they maycome to you without fear.
Offer your support in a
non-judgmental way withquestions such as, "You
seem botheredby something, isthere anything I
can do to help?"Offer to listen,"Would you like to talk
about something?" This
way, you open thatdoorway for them without
sounding as if you areaccusing, which will onlyserve to close the door.Be patient, it might take
once, twice or thrice! Yourteen may not respond rightaway. It may take some
time and coaxing to get him/her to
open up and discuss their situation orfeelings with you. Be patient and keeptrying, letting him/her know that you
care. Remember, just as this isn't easyfor you, it isn't easy for them either.
Validate and accept what your
teen says. It is essential that you takeyour teen seriously. No matter whatthey may say. Their concerns andfears, whether warranted or not to
you, are very real to them. Saying,"Well that's just silly, why are makingsuch a big deal out of this?" will cause
your teen to turn away. Acknowledge
their feelings with something like, "Ican understand how you would feelthat way." Take a moment and step out
of your parental shoes and step intohis/hers. How would you like someoneto respond to you?
Realize that you do not have total
control and power over your teenager:As they say, where there is a will thereis a way. If your response to your
child's concern is to eliminate, to takeaway, to deny you may inadvertentlycause your teen to rush full speed
ahead into a potentially dangeroussituation. However, even withoutironclad control, you have something
more powerful. You have influence.
Through communicating andempowering your teen, you can helphim/her to make the right
decision. The key here is, youallowed them to make thedecision, and you didn't
make it for them.
Set limits and boundaries together.Pulling the plug on your computer may
not be the best solution. It's a short-
term solution, with limited long-term
benefits. Sit down together and comeup with acceptable terms of usage.
Make sure that both you and your teen
understand and agree to the rules.Understand a new generation. Yes,
times have changed and will continueto do so. Our best defense is
education and understanding. Step
back for a moment and try toappreciate the challenges ourteenagers face in today's society. Each
generation has had its troubles. Butlet's face it, today's youth are stuck inthe middle of a confusing,
overwhelming, conflicting, fast-paced
and downright frightening world. Thedigital age in all its glory has openeda Pandora's Box for today's youth.
Parents play a vital role in givingteenagers the tools they need to besafe, to be smart, and to be healthy.
Internet&technology
http://www.cyberangels.org/http://www.cyberangels.org/http://www.cyberangels.org/http://www.cyberangels.org/ -
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Parent Education
Linkswww.guardyoureyes.org
Fellowship of religious
Jews, working to deal with
internet addiction. Tools
tab offers excellent
resources on technological
solutions and guidelines
for successful
implementation.
www.netsmartz411.org
Online resource for
answering questions about
Internet safety, computers,
and the Web.
www.GetGameSmart.com
Microsoft's campaign to provide
parents with tools and resources to
manage their children's gaming and
entertainment experiences.
www.cyberangels.org
CyberAngels is one of the first online
safety education programs online.
www.missingkids.com
www.ncmec.org
www.cybertipline.com
CyberTip hotline & official site for
current information on Missing and
Exploited Children, search for missing
children, submit child "sightings".
www.commonsensemedia.org
Read family-friendly reviews of media
and entertainment.
www.getnetwise.org
Be just "one click away" from the
resources they need to make
informed decisions about their and
their family's use of the Internet-
including How to videos.
www.projectsafechildhood.gov
Initiative guided by the U.S.
Department of Justice, Project Safe
Childhood.
www.mcgruff.org
McGruff the Crime Dog's Child
Safety Center.
Product Linkswww.internet-filter-
review.toptenreviews.com
2010 Internet filter and monitor &
parental control software reviews and
product comparisons.
www.webchaver.com
Excellent accountability and resource
information.
www.k9webprotection.com
Free Internet filtering and control
solution for the home.
www.internetsafety.com
www.mymobilewatchdog.com
Products that offers Parental Controls
for Computers and Smart Phones and
iPod Touch - Monitor your kid's IM,
text, email and calls and be alerted
by email about any unauthorized
contact with your child. Check with
cell phone companies to see what
they offer.
x3watch.com
Limited version of free accountability
software.
www.spectorsoft.com
SpectorPro and eBlaster excellent
accountability software with reliable
24/7 support.
www.opendns.com
Free network/router/or computer
based Internet navigation and
security solution.
Other Linkswww.netlingo.com
Access a complete online dictionary
of hundreds of regularly used email
chat acronyms.
www.familywatchdog.us !See if there are sexual offenders
living in your neighborhood.
resou
rces
http://www.cybertipline.com/http://www.ncmec.org/http://www.missingkids.com/http://www.cyberangels.org/http://www.getgamesmart.com/http://www.netsmartz411.org/http://www.k9webprotection.com/http://www.webchaver.com/http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/http://www.mcgruff.org/http://www.netsmartz411.org/http://www.projectsafechildhood.gov/http://www.familywatchdog.us/http://www.familywatchdog.us/http://www.netlingo.com/http://www.netlingo.com/http://www.opendns.com/http://www.spectorsoft.com/http://www.mymobilewatchdog.com/http://www.familywatchdog.us/http://www.familywatchdog.us/http://www.netlingo.com/http://www.netlingo.com/http://www.opendns.com/http://www.opendns.com/http://www.spectorsoft.com/http://www.spectorsoft.com/http://x3watch.com/http://x3watch.com/http://www.mymobilewatchdog.com/http://www.mymobilewatchdog.com/http://www.internetsafety.com/http://www.internetsafety.com/http://www.k9webprotection.com/http://www.k9webprotection.com/http://www.webchaver.com/http://www.webchaver.com/http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/http://www.mcgruff.org/http://www.mcgruff.org/http://www.projectsafechildhood.gov/http://www.projectsafechildhood.gov/http://www.getnetwise.org/http://www.getnetwise.org/http://www.commonsensemedia.org/http://www.commonsensemedia.org/http://www.cybertipline.com/http://www.cybertipline.com/http://www.ncmec.org/http://www.ncmec.org/http://www.missingkids.com/http://www.missingkids.com/http://www.cyberangels.org/http://www.cyberangels.org/http://www.getgamesmart.com/http://www.getgamesmart.com/http://www.netsmartz411.org/http://www.netsmartz411.org/http://www.guardyoureyes.org/http://www.guardyoureyes.org/ -
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The Benefits of Technology
This information may make the
Internet, or mobile phones, or email
accounts all seem rather dangerous -
but technology is morally neutral and
can be a channel for comfort as well
as threats. The cell phone that carries
a threatening text message may alsocarry information and advice to an
anxious parent or a worried child.
Whilst technology can be used to
bully, the Internet also can be a
sanctuary for the victims of bullying
by masking their "differences" and
allowing them to be part of
communities beyond their local one.
The Problems
The digital age has seen the
development of new ways in which to
bully, slander and abuse. We are
now faced with bullying by email,
over the phone and by text message;
with the use of digital cameras and
camera phones to intrude on the
privacy of individuals; with so-called
'happy slapping' attacks - the filming
and sharing of physical attacks on
individuals by groups; the posting of
offensive websites; the impersonatingof individuals through hijacking email
accounts; abusive and threatening
behavior in chat rooms, on discussion
boards and through instant
messaging. We have also seen
reports of school reunion sites being
used to slander ex-pupils and
teachers alike. A Scottish secondaryschool had to take its chat room
offline due to aggressive bullying
activity (Edinburgh Evening News
29.3.06). Recently a phenomenon
called "bluejacking" (the sending of
anonymous text messages over short
distances using "Bluetooth" wireless
technology) has been reported. All
these examples of cyber-bullying may
be taking advantage of cutting edge
technology, but the motives of those
who are doing this and the excuses
they make for their behavior are age-
old.
Technology allows the user to
bully anonymously or from anunknown location, 24 hours a
day, 7 days a week.
No place, not even abedroom, provides sanctuary
from the intrusion of a
threatening text message or anabusive e-mail.
Cyber-bullying leaves no
physical scars so it is, perhaps,less evident to a parent or
teacher, but it is highly
intrusive and the hurt it causes
can be very severe.
Young people are particularlyadept at adapting to new
technology, an area that canoften seem a closed world to
adults. For example, the
numerous acronyms used byyoung people in chat rooms
and in text messages (POS -Parents Over Shoulder, TUL -
Tell You Later) make it difficult
for adults to recognizepotential threats.
Cyberbu
llying
Information on this page from the Anti-Bullying Network, Great Britain
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A Code of Conduct
Here are some points that could be
included in the code of conduct that
you discuss and agree with young
people. Use these points to help you
start the discussion, but aim to end up
with a small number (up to five or so)
of short statements that are suitable
for the age of the users.
If you feel you are being bullied by
email, text or online, do talk to
someone you trust.
Never send any bullying or
threatening messages. Anything you
write and send could be read by an
adult.
Serious bullying should be reported
to the police - for example threats of
a physical or sexual nature.
Keep and save any bullying emails,
text messages or images.
If you can, make a note of the time
and date bullying messages or
images were sent, and note any
details about the sender.
Why not log into a chatroom with a
different user ID or nickname? That
way the bully won't know who you
are. You could change your mobile
phone number and only give it out
to close friends.
Contact the service provider (mobile
phone company, your internet
provider) to tell them about the
bullying. They may be able to track
the bully down.
Use blocking software - you canblock instant messages from certain
people or use mail filters to block
emails from specific email
addresses.
Don't reply to bullying or
threatening text messages or emails-
this could make matters worse. Italso lets the bullying people know
that they have found a 'live' phone
number or email address. They may
get bored quite quickly if you ignore
them.
Don't give out your personal detai
online - if you're in a chatroom,
watch what you say about where
you live, the school you go to, you
email address etc. All these things
can help someone who wants to
harm you build up a picture about
you.
Don't forward abusive texts or
emails or images to anyone. You
could be breaking the law just by
forwarding them. If they are about
you, keep them as evidence. If the
are about someone else, delete
them and don't reply to the sender
Don't ever give out passwords to
your mobile or email account.
Remember that sending abusive orthreatening messages is against the
law.
FACT SHEET
For an additional factsheet on cyberbullying:
http://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_P
revention_Response_Fact_She
et.pdf
Information on this page from the Anti-Bullying Network, Great Britain
http://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_Prevention_Response_Fact_Sheet.pdfhttp://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_Prevention_Response_Fact_Sheet.pdfhttp://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_Prevention_Response_Fact_Sheet.pdfhttp://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_Prevention_Response_Fact_Sheet.pdfhttp://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_Prevention_Response_Fact_Sheet.pdfhttp://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_Prevention_Response_Fact_Sheet.pdfhttp://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_Prevention_Response_Fact_Sheet.pdfhttp://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_Prevention_Response_Fact_Sheet.pdfhttp://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_Prevention_Response_Fact_Sheet.pdfhttp://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_Prevention_Response_Fact_Sheet.pdf -
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How Are Teens
Cyberbullied?
Being a victim of cyberbullying can bea common and painful experience.Some youth who cyberbully
Pretend they are other peopleonline to trick others
Spread lies and rumors about
victims
Trick people into revealingpersonal information
Send or forward mean textmessages
Post pictures of victims withouttheir consent
When teens were asked whythey think others cyberbully,81 percent said that
cyberbullies think its funny.Other teens believe thatyouth who cyberbully
Dont think its a big deal
Dont think about theconsequences
Are encouraged byfriends
Think everybodycyberbullies
Think they wont getcaught
How Do Victims
React?
Contrary to what cyberbulliesmay believe, cyberbullying is a bigdeal, and can cause a variety ofreactions in teens. Some teens havereacted in positive ways to try toprevent cyberbullying by
Blocking communication with thecyberbully
Deleting messages withoutreading them
Talking to a friend about thebullying
Reporting the problem to anInternet service provider orwebsite moderator
Many youth experience a variety ofemotions when they are cyberbullied.Youth who are cyberbullied reportfeeling angry, hurt, embarrassed, orscared. These emotions can causevictims to react in ways such as
Seeking revenge on the bully
Avoiding friends and activities
Cyberbullying back
Some teens feel threatened becausethey may not know who iscyberbullying them. Althoughcyberbullies may think they areanonymous, they can be found. If youare cyberbullied or harassed andneed help, save all communication
with the cyberbully and talk to aparent, teacher, law enforcementofficer, or other adult you trust.
How Can I Prevent
Cyberbullying?
Teens have figured out ways toprevent cyberbullying. Follow in thefootsteps of other quick-thinkingteens and
Refuse to pass alongcyberbullying messages
Tell friends to stop cyberbullying
Block communication withcyberbullies
Report cyberbullying to a trustedadult
You can also help preventcyberbullying by
Speaking with other students, aswell as teachers and schooladministrators, to develop rules
against cyberbullying
Raising awareness of thecyberbullying problem in yourcommunity by holding anassembly and creating fliers togive to younger kids or parents
Sharing NCPCs anti-cyberbullying message with
friends
Dont forget that eventhough you cant see a
cyberbully or the bullysvictim, cyberbullying causesreal problems. If youwouldnt say it in person,dont say it online. Deletecyberbullying. Dont write it.Dont forward it.
What Else Can I Do To
Stay Cyber-safe?
Remember that the Internet
is accessed by millions ofpeople all over the world, notjust your friends and family.While many Internet usersare friendly, some may wantto hurt you. Below are someways to stay cyber-safe:
Never post or share yourpersonal information online (thisincludes your full name, address,telephone number, school name,parents names, credit cardnumber, or Social Securitynumber) or your friends personal
information.
Never share your Internetpasswords with anyone, exceptyour parents.
Never meet anyone face-to-facewhom you only know online.
Talk to your parents about whatyou do online.
From National Crime Prevention Council -http://www.ncpc.org/cyberbullying
http://www.ncpc.org/cyberbullyinghttp://www.ncpc.org/cyberbullyinghttp://www.ncpc.org/cyberbullyinghttp://www.ncpc.org/cyberbullying -
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Chat Dangerhttp://
www.chatdanger.comA website all about thepotential dangers of
interactive online
services like chat,instant messaging,
email and mobiles.
Stop Text Bully http://www.stoptextbully.com
Resources on thiswebsite include a Top
10 Tips poster for
young people and aschool resource pack
'Putting U in thePicture'.
Childnet International
http://www.childnet-int.orgPlenty of advice and teachers'resources. Look for the 'Prank or
Pain' link through their 'Know it All'project link.
Internet Watch Foundationhttp://www.iwf.org.uk/Support website with information onfiltering, protection, and an area to
report illegal content.
Kidsmart
http://www.kidsmart.org.uk/Part of the Childnet stable ofwebsites, dealing with Internet safety
programs for schools, young people
and parents.
Cyberbully http://cyberbully.orgContains links to useful online
documents such as a guide to cyber-bullying and an educator's guide.
"Staying Safe in a Wired World: a
parent's guide to Internet safety" by
Rob Nickel. A recently publishedbook about most of the technologies
used on the Internet and instructionson how to keep children safe while incyberspace. Available from Amazon.
Yahoo's Parents' Guide to Safer
Surfing. http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/
www.ncpc.org provides informationabout stopping cyberbullying beforeit starts.
www.stopbullyingnow.com hasinformation about what you can doto stop bullying.
Stop Cyberbullying Before It Starts
(PDF) provides useful information forparents. http://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/pdf/bullying/
cyberbullying.pdf
Cyberbullying.us provides
cyberbullying research, stories,cases, downloads, fact sheets, tips
and strategies, news headlines, ablog, and a number of other helpful
resources on their comprehensivepublic service website.
www.stopcyberbullying.org has a funquiz to rate your online behavior,
information about why some peoplecyberbully, and how to stop yourselffrom cyberbullying.
www.wiredsafety.com provides
information about what to do if youare cyberbullied.
resourc
es
http://www.iwf.org.uk/http://www.iwf.org.uk/http://www.stoptextbully.com/http://www.stoptextbully.com/http://www.ncpc.org/topics/cyberbullyinghttp://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://www.stoptextbully.com/http://www.stoptextbully.com/http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://www.amazon.co.uk/http://www.wiredsafety.com/http://www.wiredsafety.com/http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/http://www.cyberbullying.us/http://www.cyberbullying.us/http://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/pdf/bullying/cyberbullying.pdfhttp://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/pdf/bullying/cyberbullying.pdfhttp://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/pdf/bullying/cyberbullying.pdfhttp://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/pdf/bullying/cyberbullying.pdfhttp://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/pdf/bullying/cyberbullying.pdfhttp://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/pdf/bullying/cyberbullying.pdfhttp://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/pdf/bullying/cyberbullying.pdfhttp://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/pdf/bullying/cyberbullying.pdfhttp://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/pdf/bullying/cyberbullying.pdfhttp://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/pdf/bullying/cyberbullying.pdfhttp://www.stopbullyingnow.com/http://www.stopbullyingnow.com/http://www.ncpc.org/topics/cyberbullyinghttp://www.ncpc.org/topics/cyberbullyinghttp://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://www.amazon.co.uk/http://www.amazon.co.uk/http://cyberbully.org/http://cyberbully.org/http://cyberbully.org/http://cyberbully.org/http://www.kidsmart.org.uk/http://www.kidsmart.org.uk/http://www.kidsmart.org.uk/http://www.kidsmart.org.uk/http://www.iwf.org.uk/http://www.iwf.org.uk/http://www.iwf.org.uk/http://www.iwf.org.uk/http://www.childnet-int.org/http://www.childnet-int.org/http://www.childnet-int.org/http://www.childnet-int.org/http://www.stoptextbully.com/http://www.stoptextbully.com/http://www.stoptextbully.com/http://www.stoptextbully.com/http://www.stoptextbully.com/http://www.stoptextbully.com/http://www.chatdanger.com/http://www.chatdanger.com/http://www.chatdanger.com/http://www.chatdanger.com/http://www.chatdanger.com/http://www.chatdanger.com/ -
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