Building Relationships as Introverts
Lisette Khalil
Operations Director
Kayla Thomas
MarComm Manager
LK: Intro to Kayla KT: Intro to Lisette, KT announce ‘ice breaker/social experiment’, LK announce Q+A with question cards
Are you an introvert?Extrovert vs. Introvert
KT
How do you recharge?
Extrovert Introvert
KT
Other Introvert Traits
Checklist of 23 Signs You’re an Introvert
From Huffington Post Interview w/Sophia Dembling, ‘The Introvert’s Way: Live a Quiet Life in a Noisy World”
●You find small talk incredibly cumbersome●Networking makes you feel like a phony●You go to parties, but not to meet new people●You can feel alone in a crowd●You notice details that others don’t●You actively avoid shows/performances that might involve
audience participation●You’re a writer●You’re in a relationship with an extrovert
LK
Extrovert/Introvert RelationshipCase Study
●Real live introverts married to extroverts
LK and KT
Introverts 101What makes us tick?
KT
Introverts 101Social Behavior
●We get more energy and recharge when we are not around other people.●Downtime doesn’t feel unproductive, but necessary.●We literally shut down when it’s time to be alone.
KT
Introverts 101Social Behavior
KT
Introverts 101Work Flow
●Thinking and creating is easier alone than in groups.●We alternate between phases of work and solitude, and periods of social activity.●We benefit from less office chit chat and thrive on having serious conversations.
LK
Introverts 101Work flow
LK
Introverts are awesome because we are:
●Thoughtful●Observant●Focused●Concise●Able to think through complex issues●Good listeners●Independent/self-sufficient
LK with KT additions
Introverts 101Misconceptions
KT
Introverts ≠
●Shy●Socially anxious●Awkward●Quiet●Hermits●Not competitive
KT
Introverts ≠ ●http://www.today.com/video/are-you-an-introvert-heres-how-to-tell-45720643676
KT: Here is a short clip from the Today show. We’ll hear from Carolyn Gregoire of the Huffington Post and Dr. Charles Sophy explain ways to tell, and dispel common misconceptions about introverts.
5 Strategies for Success
Social Behavior
KT
Strategy #1Recognize That You Are an Introvert
GREAT NEWS!You’re an Introvert!
●Understand that introverts and extroverts have different assets, and that’s okay.●We live in an extroverted society, learn to champion your introverted
traits.
●Learn more about your needs and what makes you great.
KT: Quotes from ‘Quiet’ Storytime, KT discovering she was an introvert, dealing with the aftermath, accepting and embracing the label.
Strategy #2Create Time for Recharging
Give yourself permission to recharge. It is a necessity.
At Home ~ Self Care:
Be Active Take another Nap Listen to MusicGet Outside Do an Art Project Enjoy NatureRead a book Meditate Go to a Coffee ShopTake A Nap Organize a Closet Just BreatheEat Well Mow the Lawn 5 Min Alone in CarWatch Netflix Plant Flowers Find a HobbyGo to the Spa Pretend your bathroom is the spa
KT
Strategy #3:Befriend Other Introverts
●We get each other and aren’t offended by our need to be alone or quiet.●We need someone to listen to us too.
BONUS: Tips for our extroverted friends in the room
We love you! Also, we need your support ☺
TIPS to love your introvert:1. ‘Tired’ is code for ‘we’re done with people’2. If we don’t respond to your text/email/ESPECIALLY phone call right away, give us time, we just need space.3. We need to be mentally prepared to see people.
KT
Strategy #4:Plan for Your Social Experiences
You have plans, now what?
●How full is your battery?● Prep your people
●Scan for your safe zone
●How to avoid small talk ●Ask Questions!● Plan your talking points
●Plan for a change in plan
●But if plans cancel…
KT
Strategy #5:Create Social Cues for Yourself and Loved Ones
.
●What are your cues that you need to recharge?●Are you tired? Irritated?●Short tempered? Brain dead?
●Communicate that you need alone time●Create a ‘safe’ word
●When is your ‘bubble’
popped?
5 Strategies for SuccessWork Flow
The Realities●There will be meetings●There will be teams●Networking is necessary ●Annual fundraisers (ie high social environments) are
required●Developing relationships is critical to success
Look ahead in your calendar and ask yourself…
●When will my energy account be running on empty?●After a team meeting?●After attending a conference?●After a fundraiser?
●How long will I need to recharge?● 30 minutes?●A few hours?●A few days?
Strategy #1:Anticipate Your Own Needs
Pre-Meeting/Event/Team Activity:● Prepare
● What do you need to accomplish?● What questions will you ask?● What do you need to say?● What materials could you bring to speed things along?
● Stock Up On Energy● Schedule “prep time” on your calendar● Build in mini-breaks● Be deliberate about time in the car
Strategy #2:Plan Your Energy Use
Strategy #3Create Time for Recharging
●Be deliberate about making time to recharge alone
●At the Office:●Build the expectation within your office/team for alone
time:●Sign on the door time●Block off time on calendar for think time●Put phone on “do not disturb” setting●Turn off Outlook message pop-ups
●Reward colleagues/supervisors who leave you alone by producing excellent work products that they need!
Strategy #4:Schedule Fewer Meetings
Most meetings = energy drain●How to attend fewer meetings?
●Use a project management tool● Share a timeline early in a project● Schedule a pre-project meeting when many decisions are made
rather than spreading them out through a project
●Demonstrate efficiency in lieu of meetings
Example off hours – staffing office on a Saturday when student intern is working. Office is quiet, we get tons of work done, everyone is happy.
Strategy #5:Recognize the Gift of the Extrovert
Let the extroverts use their gifts too!
Your extrovert colleagues love to talk. Let them talk!
●Buddy up at a networking event. Let your buddy ask questions, tell stories, and introduce both of you to the room● Position extroverts at events as greeters, crowd flow,
floaters, etc.● Prep extroverts with efficiency tools prior to meetings
(timelines, lists, processes, etc)
Introversion at WorkMarketing and Communications
Example A:Set the Pace for Communications
Make it Manageable●Take a beat
● Even in the digital world, you do not need to respond immediately
●Acknowledge, respond when ready● “Thanks for your comment. I’m thinking about this and will get back to
you later.”● “I’m not able to commit to anything over the phone, but send me an
email and I’ll check out the information.”● “I only have a few moments before my next meeting, but will gladly look
at this later in the week.”
● Find communication tools● Say Hello to Trello● https://trello.com/wwhf
Example B:Carve out Creative Time
• Put out notifications for staff to preserve brain space
• But be inviting ☺
Introversion at WorkDevelopment and Operations
Example A:A Different Take on Development
Development:
●Grant Writing●Annual Appeal●One-on-one meetings with funders●Give a tour ~ Show your org● Pepper in touches that are not face-to-face● Be the conductor ~ coordinate, facilitate, prepare (not schmooze)● Be yourself
Look for roles that can be accomplished well individually. Grant writing & management We are good listeners. Listen to donors and learn about their connection to the organization. We cut to the chase and are authentic ~ breath of fresh air We want less frequent, meaningful interactions
● https://targetingfundraisingtalent.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/intro-extrovert-infographic.png
Example B:Position Yourself For Success
Employer
● Share detailed job duties ● “Introverts welcome”● Incorporate practical skills exercises into interview process●Deliberately plan employee work spaces
Employee
● Focus on your strengths●Carefully examine job duties and anticipate which ones will be most
draining●Writing skills are key
Introvert ResourcesHuffington Post: 23 Signs You’re Secretly An Introvert
HubSpot: Think Marketing Is Just for Extroverts? 4 Things Introverts Bring to the Table
Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts TED TALK
Susan Cain: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking
Questions?Lisette KhalilOperations DirectorWisconsin Women’s Health [email protected]
Kayla ThomasMarketing and Communication ManagerWisconsin Women’s Health [email protected]
Wwhf.orgFacebook.com/wiwomenshealthYoutube.com/wiwomenshealth
@wiwomenshealth