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TB.JI.NSCRIPTION. OF-AJ ~ i l l B E R f . l A N GN" T H ~ AL CAPP SHOVJ

(programme•never ai red)

My name i s Al Capp and my job i s get t ing Li l Abner into t rouble in

the comics and real people in to t rouble on radio . . . . our next guest

i s Alan J . \•leberman. Now Alan J . vi berman i s a revolutionar:r ·

COMJVTIJNIST who doe snt l ike to be cal led Alan because it s too com-

radlJ . . . he prefers to be cal led A.J. which has an important r ing to

it . . it makes him sound l ike an executive . . .

That s for OU . . . YOU CALL ME AJ . . . 1.;r fr±ends cal l me Alan.

I::-see . . . I see but I may be your fr iend before th i s da.:r i s over . . .

I doubt it

Oh You dont know.how chummY I can become but AJ, SON, th i s i s mY

in t roduct ion . . . .

. . . DAD

. . . so You l e t me go r igh t through it A.G, and l a te r i f I l ike You

vou can cal l me DAD. Now l e t s go in there again cause I have some

very witt \ things here and I dont want anY interruptions

Ah OkaY . . .

No tl 1 u jus t s i t there and inhale and exhale Alan . . . AJ AJ SORRY I l I

SO SORRY . . .

Give me something to inhale and exhale with . . . .

app I jus t dont happen to havR ~ U f l kind of inhaling and exhaling s tuff

with me but there s a PUSHZR down the block . . . .

AJ You l e f t it home, huh?

Capp. . . who l l fetch it in a minute. A.J. s profession i s goinG tlcrough

garbage, Bob D lan s garbage to be exact, and v e1ll hear more about

th i s f ~ s c i n t i n g and inspir ing young Amerikan af ter th is message . . . .

No• A.J. as an authoritY on DYlan surel:; you know his name i s Zimmerman.

AJ Of course.

lIi

i

- · · · · · - - ----------------



ves. Vlh' dont .:ou cal l Yourself . . . to be p u t ? e ~ REALLY PURE, a Zimmerman-

ologis t rather than a D7lanologist? I t has more of an academic ring.

\ lhY O.ont I cal l mYself a Zimmermanologist. Simple. it has too man'I

sYllables: ,

Too manY .SYLLABI,ES.A J

has stumped me With the PURE HHITE logicof his reason . . . now You re the onl:; l iv ing Zimmermanologist . . e r r r

. . . DYLANOLOGIST.

Let me correct Yer introduct ion f i r s t . . . m profession i sn t going

through Dylan s garbage . . . I:merelY did that in order to get a platform

for my ideas because of the sensat ional is t nature of the media. \'ou

see I 1 d been stud•cing D·,lan 1 s poetr·. via anal rt ic cr i t i c sm for about

four years previous to my·going thru his garbage and I received ver:r

l i t t l e at tent ion in the press . . .

-

No kidding . . . although ~ o u studied his poetry the press paid no at tent ion

to you. AJ I consider that . . . .

They were more in terested in his garbage.

. . . . very unfair . , . and then you star ted to go through Dylan s garbage . . .

Hell I feel that the wayI

studied Dylan• s poetry v1as def ini t ly news

worthy- because 1·1here most rock cr i t ics glossed over the ly r ic s and

said they were meaningless I found meaning by using the techniques

of analyt ic cri t icism.

I m gonna read you a poem weitten by eerr Rob Dylan and it t a lks about

guys l ike you . . . Look I dont care what your daddy says, J . Edgar Hoover

is jus t not that good a guy . . l i k e he must have information . . Ah some

people l ike Shelly, some people l ike Keats but does Shelly and Keats

have what Dylan h a s - abysmal ignorance- cer ta inly not. J . Edgar Hoover

goes on with Dylan; . . J Edgar Hoover is jus t not that good a guy. 1:/hy

;,e must have information on every person inside the 1·/hite HOuse that i f



the pub l ic knew about could des t roy those people . So here your idea l ,

Dylan, expresses u t t e r contempt fo r people who gather informat ion on

ot:-,er people how does he fee l about you?

Dylan has mixed f ee l ings about me

i'-Iixed with v1ha t?

He admires me because I 'm a f ' ighter because I do my th ing cease less ly .

By the' ~ a y J·,ow do you support yoursel f 0 Dylanologis ts a re n ' t in t rem-

endous demand I 1ve never s a i d - 'Ca l l a Dylanologis t r i gh t over . . '

Ypu'd be surprised

·

J

J

How much did you earn th i s week from Dylanology?

About seven buclcs.

HovJ do you l i ve . . . are you on welfare'?

Almost I wri te fo r Tl·1e Eas t Village · ) ther they pay about .;25 a

week 1111en they can. I v1rite on other t op ics dont l i ve l i ke a

p ig . . lil::e most v1::ite Amerikans do . . I l i ve modest ly in a small lo.f 't on

t ~ e Pm-rery. Fut l e t ' s get- baC c to

NO NO NO YOU AJ Do you v1ri te

Cl,ay 1m doing an a r t i c l e for ;o:squire I · ~ a e ; a z i n etJN GARBAGE .

n var ious famou.s personages garbage

GART AGI: 1{•a t a STH 'GNG way to mal{e a l iv ing

:Eut ge t t i ng back to tlca t J . Edgar Hoover t>1ing Did ya lmo1tr t ha t

Jac]{ Anderson ~ ~ e n t t: ,rough J . Edgar '1oover 1 s garbage?

e:s

You knov1 Jack Anderson, dont you?

Yes, yes

vrent through yer garbage too didnt he man?

That r igh t and ah ah ah ah

Found a l l kinds of' th ings about you being kicked out of' Alabama for

hhh



---·-·------ - - - - - - - - - - - - - · ----·-. --,

All th i s , of course, will be ·:anked r ight out jus t as I •m not gonna

mention your being arrested as a DOPE PEDDLER.

Can you prove that?

Let s get back . . .

Can you even come up vrith an arres t record on that?l ' lell, i f you'd l ike us to we will . . .

I 1d l ike to see you do tha t . . . I v1as arl:'ested for sale of ~ · 1 A R I J U J l N AMarijuana i s DOPE

rlARIJUll:NA IS A HARNLESS SUBSTANCF.

But legal ly i t 1 s DOPE and you were arrested for PUSHING DOPE

\-Jell a t that time . . . .

\'/ell now'let•s not ta lk about that cause we're gonna go r ight back

and cut ALL of that out.

Hell , marijuana or exposing :J;ourself . . . Give me reefep anytime . . . I t

never hurt anyone . . . what a way to introduce some bod;r to human sex-

. ual i ty . . . showing them :·our l1izened genitals . . HHAT A HA• TO INTRODUCE

A YOUNG PE:?.SON TO SEX.

think we've had enough of AJ shall we?

I think i f we ta lk about the Dylan thing . . . .

No I have no desire to have AJ here with me in th i s room

· I undepstand. Thank ;/OU AJ but some other day

No I jus t wont have you here . . . .

Oka:r dad.



•l - FOR SOME STRANGE reason .

f AI Capp decided to in\'ite A J.t Weberman to be his gqest o- pilot for a new radio s _

was taping several wee s ago. Iheard a tape of the interview and,although Capp seemed to have _-formatted the show as a Joe Pynebait-the-guest f f ~ A. J. cer u y ~ ~thumbscrew methods.

Capp began by introducing A J.

as a revolutionary com- watcmunist, and kept referring to and

i him sarcastically' as a me ,l f a s c i n a t i n ~ and inspiring Stre1 young American. As Capp's Sil1 heavy-handed snidery droned on ,

and on, A. J. grew impatient to fiihget into his standard Dylan-the- cart

ripoff artist rap. Capp egged him sineon: Mr. Weberman's hobby is his

1going through people's garbage , Theand Weberman retorted that the choprecedent for reportorial trash

- collecting had been set by colum . nist J acl5; Anderson. Anderson

•i- garbage, A J. claime . nld ·went through yours too. That 'she where he found out about your·s- being arrested for exposing yourst self.er Capp, the righteous defender of

t I right-wing morality, countered iris relevantly with a vague threat:ng We won 't mention that on the

show, just like we won't mentionMr. Weberman's Michigan arrest

ne for dope peddling. Somehow, A>m J. didn't feel that the fact he had

once been busted for selling grass

he would destroy his image or ca•e- reer. How can you compare

selling a harmless drug with child·e molesting? A nice way to intd troduce young kids to sex,o showing them your wizened genia- tals.

I think we've had enough of

Mr. Weberman, Capp broke in,.gs and the interview came to an end.hn A J. had broken the unwrittenar- talk-show rule that a guest mustat never confront his host perco, sonally, and that confrontationlly and baiting only go so far.tex

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Download - AJ WEBERMAN TAKES ON AL CAPP

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