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InterpersonalInterpersonal
Conversations
Conversations
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ConversationsConversations
A locally managed A locally managed sequential sequential interchange of interchange of thoughts and thoughts and feelings between feelings between two or more two or more people. people. Interactive and Interactive and extemporaneous.extemporaneous.
Mic
roso
ft P
hoto
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ConversationsConversations (cont’d) (cont’d) Locally managedLocally managed: only those involved in : only those involved in
the conversation determine the topic.the conversation determine the topic. Sequentially organizedSequentially organized: have openings, : have openings,
middles, and closes.middles, and closes. InteractiveInteractive: Involve at least two people.: Involve at least two people. Largely extemporaneousLargely extemporaneous: Participants : Participants
have not prepared or memorized what have not prepared or memorized what they will be saying.they will be saying.
Let’s Have A
Party!
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Spontaneous Spontaneous interactions interactions between people, between people, with no planned with no planned agendaagenda
Conversational Conversational episodes in which episodes in which at least one at least one participant has a participant has a communication communication goalgoal
Casual Casual SocialSocial ConversationsConversations
Pragmatic Pragmatic Problem- Problem- Consideration Consideration ConversationsConversations
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Pragmatic Problem-Consideration Pragmatic Problem-Consideration ConversationsConversations
Skippinga stage
may provide
lesssatisfaction
1. Greeting and small talk
2. Topic introduction and statement of need for discussion
3. Information exchange and processing
4. Summarizing decisions and clarifying next steps
5. Formal closing
Characteristics of Conversations1. Formality – degree to which the conversation must
follow rules, procedures or rituals.2. Turn-Taking – alternating between speaker &
listener.a. Speaker can decide who’s nextb. Nonverbally signaling our desire to go nextc. We can self-select to go next by talking nextd. We can interrupt
3. Topic Change – method by which people introduce new topics
4. Talk Time – fair sharing of speaking time5. Scriptedness – common conversations that happen
so often they are routine, as if to follow a script (co-narration).
6. Conversational Audience – who’s conversing & eavesdropping.
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RulesRules
A prescription that indicates what behaviors are required, preferred, or prohibited in certain contexts
Conversational Ballgamesby: Nancy Masterson Sakamoto
Read “Diverse Voices”Pages 165-6
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Individual
Low-context
Masculine (rigid sex defined)
Low power-distance (downplay social distances)
Low uncertainty Avoidance (Tolerant)
United States
Cultural Connotations
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Cultural VariationsCultural VariationsUnited StatesUnited States
Low Context CulturesLow Context Cultures Participatory – Participatory –
everyone joins ineveryone joins in Include categorical Include categorical
words such as words such as certainly, absolutelycertainly, absolutely
Relevant comments Relevant comments that are directly to the that are directly to the pointpoint
Speaking one’s mindSpeaking one’s mind Silence is seldom goodSilence is seldom good
JapanJapan
High Context CulturesHigh Context Cultures Ritualized, formal & Ritualized, formal &
stucturedstuctured Include qualifiers such as Include qualifiers such as
maybe, perhapsmaybe, perhaps Indirect, ambiguous and Indirect, ambiguous and
less relevant commentsless relevant comments Creating harmonyCreating harmony Silence indicates Silence indicates
truthfulness, truthfulness, embarrassment, embarrassment, disagreementdisagreement
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Examples of Communication Examples of Communication RulesRules
If your mouth is full of food, then you If your mouth is full of food, then you must not talk.must not talk.
If someone is talking, then you must If someone is talking, then you must not interrupt.not interrupt.
If you can’t say something nice, then If you can’t say something nice, then you don’t say anything at all.you don’t say anything at all.
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MoreMoreCommunication RulesCommunication Rules
If you are spoken to, you must reply.If you are spoken to, you must reply. If more than 2 people are conversing, If more than 2 people are conversing,
then each should have equal time.then each should have equal time. If your conversational partner is If your conversational partner is
significantly older than you, then you significantly older than you, then you should refrain from using profanities should refrain from using profanities & obscenities.& obscenities.
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Even MoreEven More Communication Rules Communication Rules
If you are going to say something that you If you are going to say something that you don’t want overheard, then drop the don’t want overheard, then drop the volume of your voice.volume of your voice.
If you are being spoken to, you should If you are being spoken to, you should direct your gaze to the speaker.direct your gaze to the speaker.
Or, from a different cultural perspective, if Or, from a different cultural perspective, if you are being spoken to, you should look you are being spoken to, you should look at the floor.at the floor.
And, if another does not hear a question And, if another does not hear a question you asked, then you must repeat it.you asked, then you must repeat it.
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Discuss what communication rules you think are important.
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Cooperative PrincipleCooperative Principle
Conversations will be satisfying when the contributions made by conversationalists are in line with the purpose of the conversation.
We don’t like people who go off subject. . .
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Conversation MaximsConversation Maxims
QualityQualityTruthful Truthful
informationinformation
QuantityQuantityNot too Not too
much or too much or too littlelittle
RelevancyRelevancyRelated to Related to the topicthe topic
Manner Manner Specific, Specific,
organized, organized, and and
understandabunderstandablele
MoralityMoralityMeet Meet
moral/ethicmoral/ethical al
guidelinesguidelines
PolitenessPolitenessBe Be
courteouscourteous
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The Effective The Effective ConversationalistConversationalist
1.1. Presents quality information.Presents quality information.2.2. Provides free information to enable Provides free information to enable
others to talk.others to talk.3.3. Ask questions that are likely to Ask questions that are likely to
motivate responses.motivate responses.4.4. Credits sources.Credits sources.5.5. Practices turn-taking.Practices turn-taking.6.6. Maintains conversational coherence.Maintains conversational coherence.7.7. Practices politeness.Practices politeness.
Positive Facework
Messages affirming a person or person’s actions in the face of a difficult situation.
Used to protect another’s need to save face, ie. need to be respected, liked, or valued.
Positive Facework
To perform:1. Convey positive feelings about what
the other has said or done in the situation.
2. Express admiration for other’s efforts3. Acknowledge how difficult situation is4. Express belief other’s efforts will
endure or succeed.
Negative Facework
Using verbally indirect methods when offering information, opinions or advice.
Used to protect another’s negative face needs, ie. need for independence, autonomy and authority.
Negative Facework
To perform:1. Ask permission before making suggestions2. Verbally defer to opinions/preferences of
the other person3. Use tentative language to hedge & qualify
your position4. Offer suggestions indirectly by telling
stories or describing hypothetical options.
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PolitenessPoliteness PolitenessPoliteness -- relating to others in ways -- relating to others in ways
that meet their need to be appreciated.that meet their need to be appreciated. Positive face needsPositive face needs– desire to be – desire to be
appreciated and approved, liked and appreciated and approved, liked and honored.honored.
Negative face needsNegative face needs – desire to be free – desire to be free from imposition or intrusion.from imposition or intrusion.
Face-threatening actsFace-threatening acts (FTAs) – behavior (FTAs) – behavior that fails to meet positive or negative that fails to meet positive or negative face needsface needs
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Engage in Ethical DialogueEngage in Ethical Dialogue
Be:Be: AuthenticityAuthenticity - direct, honest, - direct, honest,
straightforward information and feelingsstraightforward information and feelings EmpathyEmpathy – understanding another’s – understanding another’s
point of view (without giving up yours)point of view (without giving up yours) ConfirmationConfirmation – affirming others as – affirming others as
unique individuals (does not imply unique individuals (does not imply approving of their behaviors)approving of their behaviors)
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Engage in Ethical Dialogue Engage in Ethical Dialogue (continued)(continued)
Be:Be: PresentPresent – taking time, avoiding – taking time, avoiding
distraction, being responsive, risking distraction, being responsive, risking attachmentattachment
EqualityEquality – treating conversational – treating conversational partners on the same level regardless partners on the same level regardless of status differences of status differences
Supportive climateSupportive climate – encourage – encourage participation by praising effortsparticipation by praising efforts
Activity Work GroupsActivity Work Groups
Marisa, Danielle, Samantha, & ChrisMarisa, Danielle, Samantha, & Chris Niki, Karina, Eric, Charity, & ErikaNiki, Karina, Eric, Charity, & Erika Briana, Cassidy, Josh Caryn & KamiBriana, Cassidy, Josh Caryn & Kami Jen, Michelyn, Elena, & Nate Jen, Michelyn, Elena, & Nate
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If there are absences, smaller groups will be redistributed by instructor.
Effective Communicator’sEffective Communicator’s““Bag of TricksBag of Tricks””
1.1. Is equipped with information Is equipped with information on a wide range to topics.on a wide range to topics.
2.2. Is willing to offer “extra” Is willing to offer “extra” information when questions information when questions are askedare asked
3.3. Asks questions.Asks questions.
4.4. Balances speaking and Balances speaking and listening. listening.
5.5. Uses conversational Uses conversational directors like “Don’t you directors like “Don’t you agree?” or “What do you agree?” or “What do you think?” which draw the think?” which draw the other person into the other person into the conversation.conversation.
6.6. Keeps interruptions at a Keeps interruptions at a minimum.minimum.
7.7. Makes sure that Makes sure that comments relate to comments relate to previous comments by previous comments by others.others.
8.8. Is polite.Is polite.
9.9. Is ethical, authentic, Is ethical, authentic, empathetic, supportive, empathetic, supportive, conforming, an active conforming, an active listener, and treats others listener, and treats others as equals.as equals.
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