domestice violence in culture

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Rethinking Spousal “Discipline” Yim 1 WHY WE DO THE THINGS WE DO During a recent leadership conference, a comment was made by the guest speaker along the lines that strong churches were the result of strong families. During the Q & A session, a visitor followed up this statement with a question, “If strong families are important for strong churches, what do I say to a woman coming for help who is being abused by her husband?” I must admit I was a bit disturbed that a question asked by a visitor, was not able to be answered. The conference speaker was a foreigner to Jordan so I understand his reserve in rushing to answer such a question from another cultural context, however, I wondered why none of us as faculty did not have an answer for this man. In the end, the speaker did give an answer based on how it is dealt with in his culture, (the U.S.) and responded that if the wife was in danger, she would be removed from the home for her safety.” After the session I went to talk with the person asking the question but was intercepted by another visitor, an Egyptian, and was more disturbed, as he assured me that, while wanting to help the sisters was kind, taking beaten women from their homes would only make matters worse. He said it is much better for the family if she is not removed, stating that he knew “once the woman was submissive, the husband would change, just like it says in I Peter 3:1,2 ‘Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.’” I asked him who in the family it would be good for: the wife who is suffering physical and thus emotional abuse, the children who cower in fear at their father’s anger, or the husband who is not able to control his temper (thus not growing in sanctification) or is not

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Domestice Violence in Culture

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Page 1: Domestice Violence in Culture

Rethinking Spousal “Discipline” Yim ! 1

WHY WE DO THE THINGS WE DO

During a recent leadership conference, a comment was made by the guest

speaker along the lines that strong churches were the result of strong families. During

the Q & A session, a visitor followed up this statement with a question, “If strong

families are important for strong churches, what do I say to a woman coming for help

who is being abused by her husband?” I must admit I was a bit disturbed that a question

asked by a visitor, was not able to be answered. The conference speaker was a foreigner

to Jordan so I understand his reserve in rushing to answer such a question from another

cultural context, however, I wondered why none of us as faculty did not have an answer

for this man. In the end, the speaker did give an answer based on how it is dealt with in

his culture, (the U.S.) and responded that if the wife was in danger, she would be

removed from the home for her safety.”

After the session I went to talk with the person asking the question but was

intercepted by another visitor, an Egyptian, and was more disturbed, as he assured me

that, while wanting to help the sisters was kind, taking beaten women from their homes

would only make matters worse. He said it is much better for the family if she is not

removed, stating that he knew “once the woman was submissive, the husband would

change, just like it says in I Peter 3:1,2 ‘Likewise, wives, be subject to your own

husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word

by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.’” I asked

him who in the family it would be good for: the wife who is suffering physical and thus

emotional abuse, the children who cower in fear at their father’s anger, or the husband

who is not able to control his temper (thus not growing in sanctification) or is not

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dealing with whatever in his past has made him uncontrollable, or society in general

who believe it must be the woman’s fault and that she alone can/should correct and

endure the problem?

In the same session, one of our female Sudanese students, when standing to ask a

different question commented, almost proudly, “I’m not concerned with that, Sudanese

women are used to being hit.” Now I try to not be imperialistic and allow for cultural

expression, but some things we are “used to” are not necessarily Biblical, and my

experience is if you feed a monster, he will grow bigger. That monster being an untruth

or violence.

The questions this paper will explore are what is the nature, prevalence, and

impact of domestic violence, particularly in the countries where our students come

from, and also how the majority culture and possibly even “Christian culture” may

influence minority behavior in this area. The end I will offer suggestions for our

response to domestic violence. It is my desire that this paper will enable us to enter into

a conversation as to how we can enhance the training of our students, so they

understand what this issue is and how our response to it reflects what we know of God’s

truth and how we may glorify Him when we act upon that truth.

WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Domestic violence refers to acts of violence that occur within intimate relationships and take place in domestic settings. It includes physical, sexual, emotional and psychological abuse. Family violence is a broader term that refers to violence between family members, as well as violence between intimate partners. 1

http://www.aic.gov.au/publications/current%20series/rip/1-10/07.html1

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Table Added to this definition in the table below is also economic and spiritual abuse, as well as their behavioral characteristics.

Table 1: Different Forms of violence. 2

Prevalence of Domestic Abuse in the Middle East

In 2013, the World Health Organization conducted the first global review of

violence against women and they reported that a third of the women in the world have

been physically or sexually assaulted and that by a former or current intimate partner.

Again, these were not violent attacks by unknown assailants, but rather by “intimate”

partners. Other findings were that 40% of women killed worldwide were also killed by

Form of Abuse Characteristics of Behavior

Physical Abuse Threatening or physically assaults, including punching, choking, hitting, pushing and shoving, throwing objects, smashing objects, damaging property, assaulting children and injuring pets

Sexual abuse Any unwanted sexual contact, including rape

Psychological abuse Emotional and verbal abuse such as humiliation, threats, insults, swearing, harassment or constant criticism and put downs

Social abuse Isolating partner from friends and/or family, denying partner access to the telephone, controlling and restricting partner's movements when going out

Economic abuse Exerting control over household or family income by preventing the other person's access to finances and financial independence

Spiritual abuse Denying or manipulating religious beliefs of practices to force victims into subordinate roles or to justify other forms of abuse

VicHealth 2006. Two steps forward, one step back: Community attitudes to violence against 2

women. Melbourne: VicHealth. http://www.vichealth.vic.gov.au/en/Resource-Centre/Publications-and-Resources/Mental-health-and-wellbeing/Preventing-violence/Community-Attitudes-to-Violence-Against-Women.aspx.

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“intimate partners.” Unfortunately, more than 600 million women live in countries

where domestic violence is not considered a crime.

Africa, the Middle East and Southeast Asia have the distinction of having the

highest rate of domestic violence against women where 37 percent of women experience

physical or sexual violence from a partner. Latin America follows at 30 percent, Europe

and Asia at 25% and North America at 23%. The Middle East also is a place where

legislators are still working to make domestic violence a crime.

In the Journal of Family Violence, Diab M. Al-Badayneh states, “Violence against

women in the Jordanian society is widely regarded as a family matter that affects large

numbers of children and adults across their life span. It affects the generations to come

as a result of its intergenerational transaction.” He also reported that the Jordanian 3

social culture accepted the use of violence with women or children as a kind of

discipline, which is also accepted as legitimate by the majority of women.

Why Does Society Abuse

As a patriarchal society, in which the man is expected to achieve power and

control over the wife and family members, the method to achieve this is “wife”

discipline. An expectation of his masculine role as the leader is to maintain the family’s

honor, stability, and reputation. “Men strictly regulate females’ behavior and sexuality

and men are responsible for imposing control to protect the family’s dignity and

Diab M. Al-Badayneh. Violence Against Women in Jordan. Journal of Family Violence 3

DOI 10.1007/s10896-012-9429-1 .http://ikcrsjo.org/docs/VAW.pdf

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reputation. They are to be the financial provider and the master of the family, 4

whereas women also have roles to adhere to and are taught to be polite, passive and

docile, and to assume the roles of caregiver, child bearer and homemaking.

She must also to fulfill her gender role, which includes loyalty to her husband and

family, which also means preserving the reputation of the family. If she does not

preserve the reputation of the family, she can be “disciplined” with physical and cultural

methods (honor crimes). A consequence of complaining (reporting abuse) is being

accused of being rebellious and not caring about her family and children, followed by

being ostracized by other families. So, we see there are societal expectations for the man

to keep his family in order, and “privileges” for the man to use physical punishment if

necessary, and even legal resources on his side if he loses control and controls his family

through the various types of abuse.

A 2009 study by Al-Badayneh and Alshgour revealed, “90.2% of university

students indicated they witnessed, heard or read something about child abuse.

Moreover, 75.3% of the sample was exposed to physical abuse during their childhood.” 5

Further studies stated the university students were greatly impacted by these

experiences with the most common abuse being intimidation at 75% emotional 40% and

Bates, D., & Rassam, A. Peoples and cultures of the Middle East. Englewood Cliffs: Prentice 4

Hall, 2001.

Al–Badayneh, D., & Al-Shgour, M. Relationship between personal and family characteristics 5

and types of family violence among college students during their childhood. Arab Journal for Security Studies & Training, 2009, 24(48), 85–130.

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physical 33 %. An important aspect to be noted in these studies is the fact that while 6

the father abused everyone, this behavior of abuse was passed on as the mother then

abused the children, and the male children abused the female children.

Therefore, since we know that abuse is passed on generationally, it gives us

urgency to address this topic at JETS. If our mission is to be discipling pastors and

christian workers to lead Godly lives, and they in turn are to be discipling their families

and congregations, they must understand this issue and how to deal with it, so when

someone comes with a story of abuse, it can be dealt with appropriately at all levels.

Only then will lives truly be transformed and people be able to live in the freedom of

their faith. Just as abuse can be passed on, so too can change for those who may be

trapped in this cycle.

Attitudes toward violence

As believers, we are meant to be Christ’s ambassadors and marriage is to be a picture of

the relationship between Christ and his church. How do these two characteristics reflect what

God has asked for us to mirror in our attitudes towards our fellow co-heirs, especially in our

most intimate relationships? What does our behavior toward one another, especially in a violent

relationship, say about what we think of our spouses and children, who were made in God’s

image?

Flood and Peace (2006; NCRVWC 2009b) have research that states the importance of

developing strategies to change negative attitudes against women, as men who hold negative

attitudes against women are more likely to be abusive towards them. Their research also stated

Diab M. Al-Badayneh 20126

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that violence is more prevalent in men who exhibit low levels of support for gender equality and

traditional gender role attitudes that legitimize violence as a method of resolving conflict or see it

as a private matter. Likewise, women with traditional gender role attitudes are also less likely to 7

report violence due to their acceptance of violence as a legitimate means of discipline. Research

among Arabs in Australia as well as Jordan showed women also accepted and justified violence

against them as “justified and beneficial”. The majority of Jordanian men in Haj-Yahia’s 8

(2002b) study agreed or strongly agreed that under certain circumstances, wife beating is the

fault of the woman, they would benefit from the beating, and that they should not be held

responsible for their violent behavior towards their wives. 9

Concerning the prevalence of domestic abuse in Jordanian Society, Diab states.

Findings of this research showed that the size of the problem has exceeded the alarming signs and it is much larger than was expected as almost all women experienced at least one type of violence in the last twelve months. Violence against women is prevailing among all men social status, regardless of their education or socio-economic levels. Violence against women is a transferable phenomenon, from family to formal and informal social institutions such as school, university, and workplace and to the wide society. The large size of violence against women can be attributed to men and women’s acceptance of violence against women. 10

The study included 1,854 married woman selected randomly from 12 Governorates in

Jordan among all social backgrounds. So the question we must ask ourselves is, since Diab's

Flood M & Pease B 2006. The factors influencing community attitudes in relation to violence 7

against women: A critical review of the literature. Melbourne: VicHealth. http://www.vichealth.vic.gov.au/en/Resource-Centre/Publications-and-Resources/Freedom-from-violence/Community-Attitudes-to-Violence-Against-Women.aspx

Diab M. Al-Badayneh 20128

Haj-Yahia, M. M. (2002b). Beliefs of Jordanian women about wife- beating. Psychology of 9

Women Quarterly, 26(4), 282–291.

Diab 201210

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research states that violence against women is transferable from family to the wider society, how

much is Christian culture influenced by “wider society” as well as is “disciplining women” by

physical violence, a Biblical principle? To help answer the question of Biblical principle, we will

look at the impact of domestic abuse.

Impact of Domestic Violence

Women who participated in Diab’s study (2012), even though they said they were

committed to remaining in the family, approved of physical “discipline”, and exhibited

self-blame, still answered the questions as to their feelings after each incident of abuse.

Table 2. Women’s feelings after each husband violent incident.11

We will look into these in greater depth when we examine scripture, but with just a

glance of these feelings, if this is how women in a Christian community feels, we can

Variable %

1 I feel insecure in my home 80

2 I feel shame from the things he did to me 81

3 I am afraid of him 86

4 I feel I am programmed toward him 86

5 I feel as if I’m in prison 81

6 I feel I am not controlling my life 85

7 I cover being abused, I am afraid to reveal it to others 83

8 I feel he owned me and controlled by him 84

9 I feel he can fear me without even touching me 83

10 I feel he has a fearful stare 82

Diab 201211

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infer she would not be able to experience the love of a husband “as Christ loves the

church” with these feelings.

Women subjected to domestic violence is a terrible thing, but equally terrible is

what happens to the children who witness it, or are also abused. A study from Australia

found the consequences for children exposed to domestic violence has been associated

with a higher likelihood of the following problems among young people:

-issues related to cognitive, emotional and social functioning and development which can lead to behavioral and learning difficulties;

-an increase in the risk of mental health issues, including depression and anxiety disorders;

-issues related to education and employment prospects; -more accepting of or willing to excuse the use of violence against women; -involvement in violent relationships with peers and conflict with adults and other forms

of authority; -increased risk of becoming perpetrators or victims themselves; and a detrimental impact on their future parenting capacities (Flood & Fergus 2008; 12

Tomison 2000; VicHealth 2006).

Like second hand smoke, the damage from violence is transmitted to all those

who are exposed, and the cancer of violence spreads to those who are exposed.

So why is domestic violence prevalent and what are the consequences? Diab sums

it up as follows:

Violence against women in the Jordanian society can be understood in light of social and cultural context of a patriarchal ideology and system, whereas violence against women is one way of maintaining power, control, and dominance of husband over wife. Gender inequality can be partially attributed to the gender status. Husbands are accorded a higher status in the social

Flood & Fergus 2008; Tomison 2000; VicHealth 200612

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system, whereas wives are relegated to a lower status. There is a need to break down the taboo that violence is a private matter. 13

Does Culture Influence Christian’s Response to Spouse Abuse

Research has found that culture is one of the most important environmental

factors in the development of personality traits. Just as North Americans, Australians

and Europeans tend to be more individualistic and believe in independence,

competition and personal achievement are important, Asian, African and South

American are more collectivist cultures and tend to value social harmony, respectfulness

and group needs over the individual needs. Likewise, as cultural norms influence

personality and behavior, gender norms can also influence personality and behavior that

males and females are expected to conform to, or accepted in a given society. 14

However, even though we can be, and often are without noticing, influenced by

the culture around us, it does not mean that our behavioral choices are inherent and

cannot be changed. Cultures and attitudes can change and evolve as communities are

dynamic and continue to interact with each other.

An example of culture change is in the expected relationship between Catholics

and Protestants. What was acceptable behavior among Catholics and Protestants in the

50’s and 60’s in the U.S. has changed dramatically. While they still may have their

Diab 201213

Boundless. “Influences of Culture and Gender on Personality.” Boundless Psychology. 14

Boundless, 20 Aug. 2015. Retrieved 18 Oct. 2015 from https://www.boundless.com/psychology/textbooks/boundless-psychology-textbook/personality-16/introduction-to-personality-76/influences-of-culture-and-gender-on-personality-320-12855/

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theological differences, and there still may be some fundamentalist Protestant

communities distrustful of Catholics, the animosity between the two has drastically

diminished on a society level. When my parents were growing up, if a Catholic neighbor,

died the Protestant would not even go into a Catholic church for the funeral such was

the expected cultural distance they were required to keep. Nowadays, American

Evangelicals find Catholics as their strongest allies in their Pro-life movement and the

groups work very closely where they can. All this to say, that even though we may

behave on the default mode of the prevailing cultural behavioral patterns, we certainly

do not need to, and should not stay there if it goes against Biblical teaching. We must be

the change agents.

Ellen R. Sheely, (2007) researched honor killings in Jordan and one of the

questions asked was, “Who in your life exerts the strongest influence on your attitudes,

opinions, and beliefs about “honor” killings?” The most influential were parents, the 15

second most influential were religious leaders, and third most influential were other

family members. If parents, religious leaders, and other family members are the ones

who exert the most influence on attitudes about “honor” killings, I would infer the same

to be true about domestic violence. This also testifies to the need of making sure our

disciples/students, who are going to be family and religious leaders, have a strong

knowledge of God, and his views on love, justice and humanity and make sure they are

following Biblical culture and not popular cultural as they are not always the same.

Ellen R. Sheeley. Reclaiming Honor in Jordan: A national Public Opinion Survey on “Honor 15

Killings. 2007, 54

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Requirements of a Godly Husband

So what are the requirements for a man’s treatment of women in the scriptures?

Using the feelings Arab women have expressed and comparing them to scripture’s

mandates, we can compare and see if they are valid feelings for someone who is to be

loved, “as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her.”

When Arab women were asked how they felt after a violent encounter they stated,

they feel insecure in their home, shame from what was done to them, fear of him,

programed toward him, like they were in prison, like they weren’t controlling their lives,

afraid to reveal they are abused, fearful even without being touched, and fearful even at

his stare. Let’s compare this to scripture that talks about a husband’s responsibility to

his wife.

1 Cor. 7 3-5 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self.

1Cor. 7:11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife

1: Cor. 7:33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided

1 Co. 11:3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.

Eph. 5:22-33 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its

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Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband

Col. 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 16

These passages of scripture state:

~a husband does not own his body and should fulfill his conjugal rights,

~He should not divorce her

~ By nature of a relationship he will be concerned about her and how to please her.

~He should submit to Christ as his head in the same way he expects his wife to submit to him.

~He is to love his wife to the extent that Christ loved the church, to the point of sacrificial death. She should be so loved that she will grow in sanctification and her countenance will be that of splendor, to be presented to God spotless and holy.

~He should love her as much as he loves himself. (with all the rights and privileges he would give to himself.)

~He should put his wife before his paternal family as they are now one.

All scripture from ESV Bible16

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~They are to love their wives and not be harsh with them.

~They are to live with them in an understanding way and honor them since they

are also co-heirs of God’s grace. Failing to do so will hinder their prayers.

Even though this is not an in-depth study of scripture, even a quick glance can

demonstrate that a husband who causes his wife to live in fear of him or to have feelings

of shame from things he does to her, is not loving her as Christ loved the church, and is

not submitting to Christ as his head in the same why he expects his wife to submit.

CONSEQUENCES

The consequences of a violent husband will affect everyone in the family. Firstly,

neither the husband, wife or children will be able to reflect the image of God if hostility,

fear, dominance, power plays and mistrust of those who are supposed to be most

intimate with us, are a major part of our character.

Secondly, when a husband does not mutually submit to his wife, and uses power

to dominate and control, a relationship of one partner being given a higher status in the

social system is the result and, as Diab (2012) states, husbands are accorded a higher

status and women are related to a lower status. This certainly would not demonstrate 17

to women that they are co-heirs with Christ. It not only diminishes their self-worth,

which husbands are supposed to be sanctifying, it also teaches them a lie about Christ,

that his sacrifice for them was less than for a man. Does he love women less?

Diab 201217

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Another consequence of spousal abuse, even in the guise of discipline, is the lack

of truth that is necessary to keep a woman in bondage. If women from violent

relationships feel they are in prison, how does that match what Jesus said when he told

us in Galatians 5:1 that is is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and

do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Or Galatians 5:13, “You, my

brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the

flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. Yes, he was addressing people that were

being led back to following the “law,” but isn’t that a part of what is happening when

demands for perfection are put upon a women, and if not adhered to, discipline?

Along with physical abuse, table 1 on page 3 lists different types of abuse and one is

“spiritual abuse” and is defined by the following characteristics. “Denying or

manipulating religious beliefs of practices to force victims into subordinate roles or to

justify other forms of abuse.” 18

How can women believe Jesus when he exhorts us to come to him and learn from

him for he is gentle and humble in heart and we will find rest for our souls, if husbands

who are under Christ and modeling him for them, “discipline” harshly. Jesus is being

misrepresented.

As well as being a horrible testimony to his wife, he is also a poor testimony to the

outside world. John 13:35 states all people will know we are his disciples by the love we

show one another. If a woman is fearful of her husband, how is that showing love to one

another? How is it modeling to non-believers why we are different?

VicHealth 200618

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Finally for this paper, when a violent husband is not called to task by the church,

the church is not fulfilling their responsibility to the husband or wife. They are failing to

address whatever demons may be haunting the man (his own abusive background,

misunderstanding of scripture) for his own healing as well as not protecting the woman,

who is supposed to submit to men in the trust that they will be loving her as Christ loved

the church, and did not use his body to harm the church, but in humility gave everything

he had to protect her.

By not addressing the problem, the church is also at risk of contributing to the

destruction of a marriage. When abuse begins, most women still want to save the

marriage and try to do their best to conform to whatever is the perceived problem to

make things work. However, if the abuse continues and the violence increases, there

may come a time when she has been so hurt that she only wants to get out of the

marriage. The church must be there for the husband and the wife, and give them the

discipline and support they both need to flourish in their relationship with God and with

each other. Pretending it is only the women’s problem, that it is a non-problem, or not a

problem for the church but the family, relinquishes their responsibility to shepherd,

exhort, and discipline their flock.

SUGGESTIONS

As the guest speaker at the leadership conference stated, in the U.S. if a women is

in danger she should be removed from her home. Many websites I visited not only

echoed that, but also stated that before a woman calls her pastor she should call the

police, as physical abuse is considered a violent crime, and you can’t reason or negotiate

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with a violent person. However, as was stated earlier, hitting your wife is not considered

a crime in Jordan, or most countries in the Middle East, so when women have reached

out for protection from the police, they were told to go home and stop being rebellious.

Since women do not have the civil authorities to turn to, it is imperative that the church

is there for her, as well as her husband. Different ways to address this sinful problem

must be discussed and implemented.

While we are in the midst of a culture that says everything about this way of

dealing with conflict with your wife is correct, Christians must image Christ, who gave

himself up for the Church, and not Satan- who comes to kill and steal and destroy, as is

demonstrated by the feelings of the women of abuse toward their husbands. It may be

an uphill battle since it is so entrenched in the culture, but JETS has an amazing

opportunity to teach their young pastors the truth of marriage. The truth that marriage

embodies the gospel and that headship is not a license to abuse, but rather a licence to

demonstrate the self-sacrificial leadership that images Christ.

Our students, our future pastors, should be taught to teach their elders this, as

well as given tools to recognize what abuse is: physical, emotional, financial and

spiritual, and how to assist women who come for help. Especially, he should be trained

to know how to avoid victimizing the victim, so his female flock will feel he is truly a

shepherd that cares for her welfare as much as he does her husband, that she is just as

valuable in God’s sight as he is.

Our future pastors must know that to sweep evil under the rug, to pretend abuse

doesn’t or hasn’t happened is to deny God’s desire for justice. It may be easier to not

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offend the male members of the congregation by not challenging them to truly embody

Jesus’ image, but even the woman caught in adultery was shown mercy, not a slap in the

face of Jesus. One of God’s characteristics is justice, he died that justice would be

upheld, it is important we don’t conveniently forget that. We are to do justice, love

mercy and walk humbly with our God. (Micah 6:8) That includes husbands and pastors

and elders when one in his flock has not been dealt with in this manner.

Messages of a husband’s responsibility to his wife- to the point of giving his body

for the wife benefit (Eph. 5:28) should be as plentiful, maybe more so since it is an

uphill battle, as messages about women’s submission, and that we are both equally

valued and we are both co-heirs with Christ.

Our students should be made aware of organizations that can help women and

the church when dealing with domestic violence. There is an organization that

restoration counseling and perhaps our students should be trained in this area.

And lastly, our students must have an answer for the next guest, or sister who

asks, “What do I tell a women who comes and tells me her husband is abusing her.”

It is my hope that if there is not an answer at this time, that we as faculty that have been

entrusted with the training of pastors/shepherds for the Arab world, will set aside time

to think about Biblically sound and practical ways we can help our students in this issue

in their ministries.

Page 19: Domestice Violence in Culture

Rethinking Spousal “Discipline” Yim ! 19

References

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Boundless. “Influences of Culture and Gender on Personality.” Boundless Psychology. Boundless, 20 Aug. 2015. Retrieved 18 Oct. 2015 from https://www.boundless.com/psychology/textbooks/boundless-psychology-textbook/personality-16/introduction-to-personality-76/influences-of-culture-and-gender-on-personality-320-12855/

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Haj-Yahia, M. M. (2002b). Beliefs of Jordanian Women about Wife- beating. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 26(4), 282–291.

Ellen R. Sheeley. Reclaiming honor in Jordan: A national public opinion survey on “honor” killings. Amman: The Author. 2007.

VicHealth 2006. Two steps forward, one step back: Community attitudes to violence against women. Melbourne: VicHealth. http://www.vichealth.vic.gov.au/en/Resource-Centre/Publications-and-Resources/Mental-health-and-wellbeing/Preventing-violence/Community-Attitudes-to-Violence-Against-Women.aspx