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Doing what comes naturally: how attachment theory informs psychotherapy Prof Jeremy Holmes University of Exeter UK

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Doing  what  comes  naturally:  how  attachment  theory  informs  

psychotherapy  

  Prof  Jeremy  Holmes  

  University  of  Exeter  

  UK  

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Starting  point  

  ‘Theory-­‐prac<ce  gap’  in  psychoanaly<c  psychotherapy  

  What  are  psychotherapy’s  ‘ac<ve  ingredients’?  (c.f.  Darwin)  

  Can  there  be  a  GTE  -­‐-­‐  meta-­‐theory  –  ‘deep  grammar’  for  psychotherapy?  

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John  Bowlby  

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Attachment  Theory  and  psa  

  Empirical  basis  

  Connec<on  with  other  disciples,  esp  ethology,  scien<fic  child  observa<on  

  security  v  sexuality  (hymen  =  limen  +  eros)  

  Makes  clear  dis<nc<on  between  healthy,  vulnerable,  and  pathological  developmental  pathways  

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All  effective  therapies…    

1.  Therapeu<c  alliance/rela<onship  (‘subject’)  

2.  Meaning/explanatory  framework  (‘verb’)  

3.  Change  promo<on  (‘object’)  

(Castonguay  &  Beutler  2006)  

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1:  Therapeutic  relationship  (Holding,  containing)  

1.  Space  

2.  Mirroring:  Con<ngency  &  Marking  

3.  A^achment  styles    

4.  Goal-­‐corrected  Empathic  A^unement  (GCEA)  

5.  Rupture  and  repair  

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The  red  dot  

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Secure  relationships  

     Therapy  as  specialisa<on  of  everyday  in<mate  rela<onships  (parent/child,  spousal,  ?friendship/sibling):  

  Sensi<vity/mentalising  

  Mastery  –  holding  –  boundary  –  crea<ng  a  space  

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Mirroring:  Winnicott  &  Gergely  

  Mother’s  face  as  the  mirror  in  which  the  child  first  finds  him/herself  

  Con,ngency:  the  capacity  to  hold  back  and  wait  

  Marking:  slight  exaggera<on:  !!  –  message  is  ‘this  is  my  reflec,on  of  your  being/feeling,  not  my  own  you’re  hearing/seeing’  

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Typical  therapist  ‘marking’  moves  

  “you  did  what?!”  

   “that  sounds    painful”  

   “ouch!!”    

  “it  sounds  like  you  might  be  feeling  pre=y  sad  right  now”  

   “I  wonder  if  there  isn’t  a  lot  of  rage  underneath  all  this”.    

  Dora:  ‘what  she  said  took  me  aback’  (Freud  1905)  

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Mirroring  (Wright)  

  The  child  finds  her/himself  in  the  form  of  the  maternal  response;  cross-­‐modal  a^unement  (Stern)  leads  to…  

  A  lexicon  of  experience,  bodily  sensa<on,  representa<ons,    in  which  feelings  are  embodied…  

  Free  (secure),  restricted  (insecure  organised)  or  absent  (insecure  disorganised)  

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Exploring  In  Security  

  Mutual  incompa<bility  of  a=achment  behaviour  and  explora,on  

  Empathic  response  +  affect  regula,on  assuages  a^achment  behaviours  and  ac<vates  explora<on  

  ‘vitality  affects’  evidence  of  exploratory  stance:    eyes,  voice  tone,  ‘energy’  levels  

  Explora<on  associated  with  sense  of  mastery  and  competence  (c.f.  Slade’s  mothers)  

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Misattunement:  rupture  and  repair  (Safran  &  Muran)  

  Normal,  ‘good’,  securely  a^ached,  mentalising,  mothers  –  mis-­‐a^une  60%  of  the  <me  (Tronic)!  

  But  are  able  to  re-­‐establish  emo,onal  link  

  BUT  via  self-­‐monitoring/mentalising,    know  they’re  gemng  it  wrong  and  so  can  self-­‐correct  

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Duration  of  Looking  at  Self  During  Three  Phases  of  Modified  Still  Face  Procedure  

(Gergely, Fonagy, Koos, et al., 2004)

% looking at self

F(interaction)=6.90, df=2,137, p<.0001

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Duration  of  Looking  at  Self  During  Three  Phases  of  Modified  Still  Face  Procedure  

% looking at self

F(interaction)=12.00, df=2,137, p<.0001 (Gergely, Fonagy, Koos, et al., 2004)

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‘Enactment’  

  Therapists  ‘get  it  wrong’  too…  

  either  in  the  micro-­‐moments  of  the  session  (too  much  silence;  too  li^le;  comments  that  go  awry;  failure  to  pick  up  on  p’s  emo<onal  state,  etc)  

  or  macro  (e.g.  double  booking,  being  late  etc)  

  In  ways  that  reflect  the  pa<ent’s  (and  their  own)  psychodynamics  i.e.  enactments  

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Safran    

  Repairing  weakened  alliance  predicts  stronger  alliance  and  be=er  outcome  

  Process  model:  a)  a^ending  to  ‘rupture  markers’  b)  exploring  experience  c)  exploring  avoidance  d)  exploring  underlying  wish  

  Importance  of    therapist  non-­‐defensiveness  

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Grossmans:  role  of  mother  and  father  

  Maternal  sensi<vity  (empathy,  soothing,  responsiveness),  ‘mind-­‐mindedness’  (Miens)    

  Paternal  facilita<on  (“you  can  do  it,  and  I  will  protect  you  as  you  do  so”);  ‘zone  of  proximal  development’  

  Combined  parent  scores  best  predictor  of  secure  representa<on  in  early  adulthood  

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2:  Meaning  

  Many  types  of  meaning:    medical,  cogni<ve,  interpersonal,  unconscious  etc  

  Evidence  does  not  priviledge  one  over  the  others  

  AT  suggests  ‘polysemy’  is  mark  of  secure  a^achment  

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Mentalising:  the  process  by  which…  (Bateman  &  Fonagy  2004)  

an  individual  implicitly  and  explicitly  interprets  the  ac,ons  of  himself  and  others  as  meaningful  on  the  basis  of  inten,onal  mental  states  such  as  personal  desires,  needs,  feelings,  beliefs  and  reasons  

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Mentalising:    

  To  see  ourselves  from  the  outside  and  others  from  the  inside.  

  Burns:  ‘o  wad  som  pow’r  the  gipie  gie  us,  to  see  oursl’es  as  ithers  see  us’.  

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Mentalising  not  purely  ‘mental’  

  Starts  with  the  body  

  Thinking  about  feeling;  feeling  about  thinking:    

  Spinoza/Boulanger:  ‘the  ideal  musician  should  think  with  the  heart  and  feel  with  the  intellect…’    

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Why  mentalising?  

  Captures  self-­‐in-­‐rela<on-­‐to-­‐others  

  Biological  roots  suggest  associated  with  fitness/health  (c.f.  primate  studies)  

  Deficient  (associated  high  arousal  levels)  highly  relevant  to  ‘complex  cases’  

   Learned  rela<onal  skill  -­‐  developmentally  &  in  therapy  

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Measuring  mentalising:  ‘reflective  function’  (RF  in  AAI)  

  High  RF  scores  in  ‘pregnant’  parents  predicts    infant  security  in  Strange  Situa<on    

  RF  predicts  ‘fluid-­‐autonomous’  on  the  AAI,  protec<ve  against  childhood  neglect  or  trauma  

  Poor  mentalising  in  mothers  of  ‘disorganised’  infants  (?risk  factor  for  BPD)  

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Pre/Non-­‐mentalising  states  of  mind  

  Psychic  equivalence  mode:  outer  world  =  inner  world,  (‘what  I  feel,  is’)  ?c.f.  ‘excessive’  Projec<ve  Iden<fica<on  

  Pretend  mode:  decoupling  of  self  from  outer  world  (‘I  can  make  the  world  as  I  like…’)  ?c.f.  Psychic  retreats  

  Teleological  stance:  denial  of  inten<ons,  seeing  only  external  connec<ons  and  consequences  (‘if  I  cut  myself,  drink  etc,  I’ll  surely  feel  be^er’)  ?c.f.  ‘a^acks  on  linking’  

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Misuses  of  mentalising  

  Pseudo-­‐mentalising,  e.g.  intellectual  rather  than  emo<onal  understanding;  failure  to  acknowledge  opacity  of  inner  world;  ‘going  round  in  circles’  (c.f.  hyperac<va<ng  a^achment  styles)  

  Using  mentalising  to  manipulate  or  abuse:  mild:  interpreta<ons  in  marital  arguments);  severe:  grooming’  

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Conditions  fostering  mentalising:  1:  lowered  arousal    

  Subliminal  posi<ve  cues  override  insecure  a^achment  pa^erns    (Miculincer  &  Shaver)      

  Neutrality    =  non-­‐controlling,  hopeful,  taking  seriously,  valida<ng  

  ?  introjec<on  of  benign,  less  harsh  superego  

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The  frog  in  the  bucket  

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Conditions  fostering  mentalising  2:  triangulation  

  Therapy  as  in  vitro  mentalising  arena:  playing  the  ‘in<macy  game’  ‘hand  up’    

  Therapist  and  client  together  ‘triangulate’  the  object  –  the  client’s  feelings  

  Triangula<on  =  poin<ng,  naming,  storying,  makes/creates  ‘present  unconscious’  conscious  

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Mindfulness  and  mentalising  

  Both  based  on  percep<on/reality  gap  

  Both  seen  as  learned  skills  

  Both  aim  to  lower  arousal  

  Both  improve  therapeu<c  effec<veness  

  Mindfulness  formally  taught  

  Mentalising  informally  integral  to  therapeu<c  rela<onship  

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3:  Promoting  change    

  Fostering  mentalising  skills  

  Paradox  and  benign  binds  

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Paradox/ambiguity  

  Therapist  enters  pa<ents  world  (idiolect)    

  but  does  not  conform  to  it,  and    

  since  s(he)  can  neither  expel  nor  control  therapist    

  this  catalyses  change  since  pa<ent  has  to  alter  rela<onal  world    

(Strachey,  Lear)  

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Therapy  as  a  ‘benign  bind’  

  Therapist  confounds  expecta<ons:  offers  no  solu<ons/advice/prescrip<ons  –  p.  has  no  choice  but  to  find  them  for  him/herself  

  Therapist  playfully  offers  both  ‘real’  and  ‘unreal’  rela<onship:  p.  develops  a  stronger  reality-­‐phantasy  barrier  (esp  in  PD)  

  Paradox  needed  where  common  sense  fails,  ‘outwimng’/circumven<ng  defences,  c.f.  arm  paralysis  

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‘Benign  binds’  

  Bateson  &  the  double  bind  

  DB  revived  by  Main  in  her  model  of  Disorganised  a^achment  as  an  approach/avoidance  dilemma  

  Approach/avoidance  dilemmas  in  Borderline  func<on:    in<macy  is  what  is  both  most  desired  and  most  feared:  ‘flips’  from  deac<va<on  to  hyperac<va<on.    

  Linehan’s  change/no  change  message  for  Borderline  clients  

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alcohol  

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Case  history    

  Single  wo  mid-­‐40s,  BPD,  Alcohol  

  5  yrs  Rx  –  x1/week,  couch  

  Own  apartment,  career,  no  self  harm,  but  s<ll  drinking,  s<ll  v  lonely  

  Goes  to  Buddhist  retreat  during  analy<c  break  

  During  medita<on  ‘sees’  self  pouring  ‘poison’  down  throat  

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Case  history    cont  

  Aper  break  –  drinking  again.    Explains  an<dote  to  loneliness  

  Th:  ‘What  would  it  be  like  if  the  drunk  part  of  you  were  to  come  to  sessions?’  

  P:  ‘Oh  I  might  ‘come  on’  to  you’…  

  Th:  ‘So  whatever  I  did  would  be  wrong:    responding  would  be  abusive  like  your  step-­‐father;  not  responding,  un-­‐mirroring  like  your  depressed  mother’  

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Case  history  continued  

  P:  ‘maybe  I  just  want  to  be  validated  and  accepted.    Up  to  know  the  only  way  I  have  found  that  is  through  drunken  sex….followed    by  disgust…and  more  drinking’  

  Later  suppor<ng  dying  mother  of  friend…less  loneliness  =  less  drinking  

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Neurological  account  

  Normally,  secure  a^achment  deac<vates  mentalisa<on  (‘love  is  blind’)  

  Psychotherapy  offers  secure  a^achment…  

  while  simultaneously  insis<ng  on  mentalising  the  therapeu<c  rela<onship…  

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Paradox  continued  

  …pa<ent  caught  in  an  ac<va<on-­‐deac<va<on  bind  

  Enabling  pa<ent  both  to  be  in<mate  and  see  in<macy    

  Hence  enhanced  self-­‐awareness  and  be^er  chance  of  successful  in<macy  

  C.f.  rupture-­‐repair  

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3  Cs  

  C1,  Cross-­‐bearing,  brings  into  focus    unconscious  influences    shaping  the  present  moment.  

  C2,  Connectedness,  restores  severed  circuitry  between  the  Self,  Others  and  the  Environment.  

  C3,  Consciousness,    encompassing  all  three,    explores  the  in<macy  of  the  therapeu<c  rela<onship  as  a  crucible  for  enhancing  awareness:  see,  see,  see.  

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Thanks….  

  for  listening;    if  you  want  slides:  

  j.a.holmes@b,nternet.com