designing documents, slides, and screens...5 designing documents, slides, and screens learning...

5 Designing Documents,Slides, and Screens

LEARNING OBJECTIVESAfter reading and applying the informationin Module 5, you’ll be able to demonstrate

Knowledge of • The importance of document appear-

ance, layout, and design• Essential design principles• The relationship between readability

and your credibility

Skills to• Apply design principles to paper pages,

presentation slides, and Web pages• Use computer software to increase

document readability

M O D U L E

Module Outline• Why is design important?

• When should I think aboutdesign?

• How should I design paperpages?

• How should I design presenta-tion slides?

• How should I design Web pages?

• How do I know whether mydesign works?

Review of Key Points

Assignments for Module 5

Polishing Your Prose: Activeand Passive Voice

Please see the OLC to preview the key skills from the ConferenceBoard of Canada’s Employability Skills 2000+ covered in this module.

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Module 5Designing Documents, Slides, and Screens 87

OLC: www.mcgrawhill.ca/olc/locker

A well-designed document looks inviting, friendly, and accessible. Good document designsaves time and money, builds goodwill, and reduces legal problems. Effective design alsogroups ideas visually, making the structure of the document more obvious and easier toread. Research shows that easy-to-read documents enhance your credibility and build animage of you as a professional, competent person.1

Why is design important? Design is essential to meaning making.

Your audience brings expectations to and constructs meaning from the design of yourmessage. Business audiences expect document and slide design to make it easy for themto read and understand the content.

When should I think about design?Think about design at each stage of the writing process.

Because layout and design make the first impression on readers, document design is avital component of persuasion. Indeed, you create the best documents when you thinkabout design at each stage of your writing process:

• As you plan, think about your audience. Are they skilled readers? Are they busy? Willthey read the document straight through or skip around in it? Design the document tomeet readers’ needs and expectations.

• As you write, incorporate lists and headings. Use visuals to convey numerical dataclearly and forcefully.

• Get feedback from people who will be using your document. What parts of the docu-ment do they find hard to understand? What additional information do they need?

• As you revise, check your draft against the guidelines in this module.

How should I design paper pages?Follow the design principles of contrast, repetition, alignment,and proximity to meet audience expectations.2

Use the following guidelines to create visually attractive documents:

• Use white space to separate and emphasize points.• Use headings to group points.• Limit the use of words set in all capital letters.• Use no more than two typefaces in a single document.• Decide whether to justify margins based on the situation and the audience.

Use White SpaceWhite space—the empty space on the page—emphasizes the material that it separatesfrom the rest of the text. This emphasis makes the material easier to read. Creating whitespace is also known as “menu writing,” because the visual design principle—brief texthighlighted by space—is the same as you find on restaurant menus.

FedEx saved $400 000 ayear by redesigning itsground-operationsmanuals. Before,employees could findthe right answer only 53 percent of the time.Afterward, their successrate was 80 percent, andthey found answers 25 percent faster.

Source: Joseph Kimble,“Writing for Dollars, Writingto Please,” The ScribesJournal of Legal Writing, 6(1996–1997): 14–15.

F Y I


You can create white space in several ways:

• Use headings.• Use a mix of paragraph lengths (maximum six to seven typed lines).• Use lists.• Use tabs or indents—not spacing—to align items vertically.• Use numbered lists when the number or sequence of items is exact.• Use bullets (large dots or squares like those in this list) when the number and sequence

are equal.

When you create a list, use parallelism: begin each item on the list with the same part ofspeech. If you begin your list with a verb, for example, begin every following item on the list with a verb. This parallel structure meets the reader’s subconscious expec-tation. And meeting reader expectation is the most important aspect of business writing.

Not parallel: The following suggestions can help employers avoid bias in job interviews:1. Base questions on the job description2. Questioning techniques3. Selection and training of interviewers

Parallel: The following suggestions can help employers avoid bias in job interviews:1. Base questions on the job description2. Ask the same questions of all applicants3. Select and train interviewers carefully

Also parallel: Employers can avoid bias in job interviews by1. Basing questions on the job description2. Asking the same questions of all applicants3. Selecting and training interviewers carefully

Figure 5.1 shows an original typed document. In Figure 5.2 the same document is improvedby using shorter paragraphs, lists, and headings. These devices take space. When saving spaceis essential, it’s better to cut the text and keep white space and headings.

Use HeadingsHeadings are words or short phrases that identify a complete idea and divide your letter,memo, or report into sections. Headings increase readability because they summarizewhat the reader is about to read and increase white space.

• Make headings specific. • Make each heading cover all the material until the next heading.• Keep headings at any one level parallel: all nouns, all complete sentences, or all

questions.

In a letter or memo, type main headings flush with the left-hand margin in bold.Capitalize the first letters of the first word and of other major words; use lowercase forall other letters. (See Figure 5.2 on page 90 for an example.) In single-spaced text, triplespace between the previous text and the heading; double space between the heading andthe text that follows.

Unit 1 Building Effective Messages88



In a report, you may need more levels of headings. Module 15 shows how to setup five levels of headings for reports.

Limit the Use of Words Set in All Capital LettersWe recognize words by their shapes.3 (For example, try reading each line in Figure 5.3) Usingcapital letters, all words are rectangular; letters lose the descenders and ascenders that makereading easier and faster. Use full capitals sparingly. Instead, bold text to emphasize it.



When you buy goods on credit, the store will sometimes ask you to sign a Wage Assignment form allowing it to deduct money from your wages if you do not pay your bill. When you buy on credit, you sign a contract agreeing to pay a certain amount each week or month until you have paid all you owe. The Wage Assignment Form is separate. It must contain the name of your present employer, your social insurance number, the amount of money loaned, the rate of interest, the date when payments are due, and your signature. The words “Wage Assignment” must be printed at the top of the form and also near the line for your signature. Even if you have signed a Wage Assignment agreement, Roysner will not withhold part of your wages unless all of the following conditions are met: 1. You have to be more than forty days late in payment of what you owe; 2. Roysner has to receive a correct statement of the amount you are in default and a copy of the Wage Assignment form; and 3. You and Roysner must receive a notice from the creditor at least twenty days in advance stating that the creditor plans to make a demand on your wages. This twenty-day notice gives you a chance to correct the problems yourself. If these conditions are all met, Roysner must withhold 15 percent of each paycheque until your bill is paid and give this money to your creditor.

If you think you are not late or that you do not owe the amount stated, you can argue against it by filing a legal document called a “defence.” Once you file a defence, Roysner will not withhold any money from you. However, be sure you are right before you file a defence. If you are wrong, you have to pay not only what you owe but also all legal costs for both yourself and the creditor. If you are right, the creditor has to pay all these costs.

MONEY DEDUCTED FROM YOUR WAGES TO PAY CREDITORS

FIGURE 5.1A Document with Poor Visual Impact




When you buy goods on credit, the store will sometimes ask you to sign a Wage Assignment form allowing it to deduct money from your wages if you do not pay your bill.

Have You Signed a Wage Assignment Form?

When you buy on credit, you sign a contract agreeing to pay a certain amount each week or month until you have paid all you owe. The Wage Assignment Form is separate. It must contain the following:

• The name of your present employer • Your social insurance number • The amount of insurance • The rate of interest • The date when payments are due • Your signature

The words “Wage Assignment” must be printed at the top of the form and also near the line for your signature.

When Would Money Be Deducted from Your Wages to Pay a Creditor?

Even if you have signed a Wage Assignment agreement, Roysner will not withhold part of your wages unless all of the following conditions are met:

1. You have to be more than 40 days late in payment of what you owe. 2. Roysner has to receive a correct statement of the amount you are in default and

a copy of the Wage Assignment form. 3. You and Roysner must receive a notice from the creditor at least 20 days in

advance stating that the creditor plans to make a demand on your wages. This 20-day notice gives you a chance to correct the problem yourself.

If these conditions are all met, Roysner must withhold fifteen percent (15 percent) of each paycheque and give this money to your creditor until your bill is paid.

What Should You Do If You Think the Wage Assignment Is Incorrect?

If you think you are not late or that you do not owe the amount stated, you can argue against it by filing a legal document called a “defence.” Once you file a defence, Roysner will not withhold any money from you. However, be sure you are right before you file a defence. If you are wrong, you have to pay not only what you owe but also all legal costs for both yourself and the creditor. If you are right, the creditor has to pay these costs.

Money Deducted from Your Wagesto Pay Creditors

FIGURE 5.2A Document Revised to Improve Visual Impact


Use No More Than Two Fonts in a Single DocumentEach font comes in several sizes and usually in several styles (bold, italic, etc.). Most com-puter fonts are proportional: wider letters (like w) take more space than narrow letters(like i). Times Roman, Palatino, Helvetica, Geneva, and Arial are proportional fonts.Fonts such as Courier and Prestige Elite, which were designed for typewriters and are stilloffered as computer fonts, are fixed. Every letter takes the same space, so that an i takesthe same space as a w.

Serif fonts have little extensions, called serifs, from the main strokes. (In Figure 5.4, lookat the feet on the t in Times Roman and the little flicks on the ends of the top bar of thet.) Courier, Times Roman, Palatino, and Lucinda Calligraphy are serif fonts. Serif fontsare easier to read because the serifs help the eyes move from letter to letter. Helvetica,Geneva, and Arial are called sans serif fonts because they lack serifs (sans is French forwithout). Sans serif fonts are good for titles, tables, and narrow columns.

In magnified text, sans serif fonts are easier to read; therefore, use sans serif fonts foryour PowerPointTM presentations.

Most business documents use just one font—usually Times Roman, Palatino, Helvetica,or Arial in 11-point or 12-point. In a complex document, use bigger type for main head-ings and slightly smaller type for subheadings and text. If you combine two fonts in onedocument, choose one serif and one sans serif typeface.



Full capitals hide the shape of a word and slow reading 19% .

FULL CAPITALS HIDE THE SHAPE OF A WORD AND SLOW READING 19% .

FIGURE 5.3Full Capitals Hide the Shape of a Word

FIGURE 5.4Examples of Different Fonts


Decide Whether to Justify Margins Based on the Situationand the Audience

Margins that are justified on the left are sometimes called ragged right margins. Lines endin different places because words are of different lengths. The FYI boxes use ragged rightmargins, which are most common in current business usage. However, computers allowyou to use full justification, so that type on the both sides of the page is evenly lined up.Books, like this one, usually use full justification.

Use ragged right margins in these cases:

• You do not have proportional typefaces.• You want a less formal look.• You want to be able to revise an individual page without reprinting the whole

document.

Use justified margins in these cases:

• You can use proportional typefaces.• You want a more formal look.• You use very short line lengths.

How should I design presentation slides?Keep slides simple, relevant, and interesting.

As you design slides for PowerPoint™ and other presentation programs, keep these guide-lines in mind:

• Create slides that emphasize your key ideas.• Emphasize visuals. Pictures, charts, and graphs have much greater impact: they appeal

to the right, or creative, side of the brain; they are more easily accessible than text; andthey are more memorable.

• Use audience-relevant photos or metaphoric illustrations to keep memorable images inyour listeners’ minds.

• Keep the text to an absolute minimum; give your audience slide handouts on whichthey can write notes.

• Use bullet-point phrases with concrete words.



The visual design of a message can support or undercut the impact of the words.

SEETHEOLC!

Web Page and PowerPoint™ Design Tips


• Contrast background and text: the rule is light on dark or dark on light.• Use a big font: 44-point or 50-point for titles, 32-point for subheads, and 28-point for

examples.• Customize your slides with the company logo, charts, and scanned-in photos and

drawings.• Place illustrations at the top right of the slide for a stronger and longer impression.

Avoid death by PowerPoint™: never, ever read text to your audience. Presenters who putplenty of text on their slides, and then read the text, only exasperate their audiences.People do not want presenters to read to them; they can read for themselves. The lastthing they want to read is an uninterrupted block of text.

Use clip art only if the art is really appropriate to your points and only if you are able tofind non-sexist and non-racist images.

Choose a consistent template, or background design, for the entire presentation. Makesure that the template is appropriate for your subject matter. For example, use a globeonly if your topic is international business and palm trees only if you’re talking abouttropical vacations. PowerPoint’s™ basic templates may seem repetitive to people who seelots of presentations. Whenever possible, customize the basic template.

Choose a light background if the lights are off during the presentation and a dark back-ground if the lights are on. Slides will be easier to read if you use high contrast betweenthe words and background. See Figure 5.5 for examples of effective and ineffective colourcombinations.

How should I design Web pages?Pay attention to content, navigation, and the first page.

Good Web pages have both good content and an interesting design.

Your home page is crucial. Jakob Nielsen claims that only 10 percent of users scrollbeyond the first page.4 To make it more likely that visitors will scroll down, do the



FIGURE 5.5Effective and Ineffective Colours for Presentation Slides

Light colours

disappear against a

light background.

Use high contrast

between words and

background.

Repeat colours in

words and

design elements.

LimitLimit thethe numbenumber

ofof brightbright colours.colours.

Effective

Ineffective

Dark coloursDark colours

disappear against adisappear against a

dark background.dark background.




E X P A N D I N G A C R I T I C A L S K I L L

Using Computer Software to CreateGood DesignStandard word-processing programs such as WordPerfectand Word help you create well-designed documents.

Different versions of each program handle commands dif-ferently. Look up the bolded terms below in a manual, abook about the program, or the online Help menu of yourcomputer program to find out how to use each feature.

Letters and MemosChoose a businesslike font in 11-point or 12-point type.Times Roman, Palatino, Helvetica, and Arial are the mostcommonly used business fonts.

Use bold headings. Avoid having a heading all by itself atthe bottom of the page. If you can’t have at least one line oftext under it, move the heading to the next page. You cancheck this by eye or set your program to avoid widows andorphans.

Use tabs or indents to line up the return address and sig-nature blocks in modified block format ( Module 9),the To/From/Subject line section of a memo, or the items ina list.

Change your tab settings to create good visual impact. Asetting at 0.6" (1.5 cm) works well for the Date/To/From/Subject line section of memos. Use 0.4" (1 cm) for para-graphs and 0.6" (1.5 cm) for the start of bulleted lists. Forlists with 10 or more items, the setting will need to be a bitfurther to the right—about 0.65" (1.65 cm).

Choose the design for bullets under Insert or Format. BothWordPerfect and Word will create bulleted or numberedlists automatically. If you have lists with paragraphs, turnoff the automatic bullets and create them with the bullets inSymbols. Use indent (not tab) to move the whole list in, notjust a single line of it.

Use a header (in the Insert or View menu) with automaticpage numbering (pull down Format to Page) for secondand subsequent pages. That way, when you delete a

paragraph or expand your reader benefits, you don’t haveto move the header manually. You can either delay theheader till page 2 or create it on page 2. For best visual im-pact, make your header one point size smaller than thebody type.

For a two-page document, change the top margin of thesecond page to 0.5" (1.25 cm) so the header is close to thetop of the page.

Use the same side margins as your letterhead. If you aren’tusing letterhead, use 1" (2.5 cm) side margins.

On a two-page document, make sure the second page hasat least four to six lines of text for letters and at least 10 lines of text for memos. If you have less, either (1) adddetails, (2) start the message further down on page 1 sothat there is more text on page 2, or (3) make the text fit onjust one page by (a) tightening your prose, (b) using full jus-tification to save space, or (c) using less white space.

Word processing programs have a quick correct or autocorrect feature that changes hte to the, (c) to ©, and soforth. Go into the Tools or Format menus to find these fea-tures and edit them so they make only the changes youwant.

Hyphenation may be under Format or Language in Tools.

Before you print, centre your document on the page like apicture in a frame. Go to file, page setup, layout, verticalalignment, centre.

PrintingTo save paper, check print preview on the File menu.You’ll be able to see how your document will look on thepage and make minor layout changes before you print.

If you prepare your document on one computer and print itfrom another, be sure to open the document and check all of it before you print. Different printers may changemargins slightly. Even the same size font may differ fromprinter to printer: a document that fits on one page in 11-point on one computer may take up more room on adifferent one.

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following on the first page:

• Provide an introductory statement orienting the reader to the organization.• Offer an overview of the content of your page, with links to take readers to the parts

that interest them.• Include information that will be the most interesting and useful to the most readers.

The rest of the page can contain information that only a limited number of readers willwant. When a document reaches four pages or more, think about dividing it into severaldocuments. Specialized information can go on another page, which readers can click onif they want it.

Make it clear what readers will get if they click on a link.

Ineffective phrasing: Employment. Openings and skills levels are determined by eachoffice.

Better phrasing: Employment. Openings listed by skills level and by location.

Minimize the number of links readers have to click through to get to the information theywant.

Keep these points in mind as you design the pages:

• Use small graphics; keep animation to a minimum. Both graphics and animation taketime to load, especially with a slow modem.

• Provide visual variety. Use indentations, bulleted or numbered lists, and headings.• Unify multiple pages with a small banner, graphic, or label so surfers know whom the

pages belong to.• On each page, provide a link to the home page, the name and email address of the

person who maintains the page, and the date when the page was last revised.

How do I know whether my design works?Test it.

A design that looks pretty may or may not work for the audience. To know whether yourdesign is functional, test it with your audience:

• Watch someone as he or she uses the document to do a task. Where does the readerpause, reread, or seem confused? How long does it take? Does the document enablethe reader to complete the task accurately?

• Ask the reader to “think aloud” while completing the task, interrupt the reader at keypoints to ask what he or she is thinking, or ask the reader to describe his or her thoughtprocesses after completing the document and the task. Exploring the reader’s thoughtprocesses is important, since a reader may get the right answer for the wrong reasons.You can thus identify where and how the design needs work.

• Test the document with the people who are most likely to have trouble with it: very youngreaders, people with little education, people who read English as a second language, andpeople who have little experience with Web pages.




Review of Key Points

1. Why is document design important?2. What are the four basic principles of document

design?3. Identify four strategies writers can use to create

attractive documents.4. What should presenters remember when creating

slides?

5. What are the key characteristics of well-designedWeb pages?

6. What criteria can you use to assess your documentdesign choices?

Assignments for Module 5

Questions for Critical Thinking5.1 “Closed captions” for people with hearing

impairments are almost always typed in fullcapital letters. Why is that a bad idea? Are thereany advantages to using full capitals? What arguments could you use for changing thepractice?

5.2 Suppose that, in one company, a worker says,“We don’t need to worry about design. Peoplepay a toll charge to call us, and we make a slightprofit on each call. So if they have questionsabout the product, that’s OK. If better designreduced the number of calls, we might actuallylose money!” How would you persuade such aperson that good document design is worthdoing?

5.3 Royal College is preparing a brochure topersuade prospective students to consider takingclasses. The school doesn’t want to invest a lot ofmoney in full-scale document testing. What freeor almost-free things could it do to make thedocument as effective as possible?

5.4 Design choices have ethical implications. Indicate whether you consider each of thefollowing actions ethical, unethical, or a greyarea. Which of the actions would you do? Which would you feel uncomfortable doing? Which would you refuse to do? Why?

1. Putting the advantages of a proposal in abulleted list, while discussing thedisadvantages in a paragraph

2. Using a bigger type size so that a résumé fillsa whole page

3. Putting the services that are not covered by your health plan in full caps to make it less likely that people will read the page

Please see the OLC to preview the key skills from the Conference Board of Canada’s Employability Skills 2000+covered in this module.

Employability Skills 2000+




5.5 Evaluating Page Designs

Use the guidelines in Module 5 to evaluate each of the following page designs. What are

their strong points? What could be improved?

Source: Diane Burns and S. Venit, “What’s Wrong with This Paper?” PC Magazine no. 17 (October 13, 1987) pp. 174–75.

Exercises and Problems




5.6 Evaluating PowerPoint Slides

Evaluate the following drafts of PowerPoint™ slides.

• Is the background appropriate for the topic?• Do the slides use words or phrases rather than

complete sentences?

• Is the font big enough to read from a distance?• Is the art relevant and appropriate?• Is each slide free from errors?

c.




5.7 Using Headings

Reorganize the items in each of the following lists,using appropriate headings. Use bulleted or numberedlists as appropriate.

a. Rules and Procedures for a TuitionReimbursement Plan

1. You are eligible to be reimbursed if you havebeen a full-time employee for at least threemonths.

2. You must apply before the first class meeting.3. You must earn a “C” or better in the course.4. You must submit a copy of the approved

application, an official grade report, and areceipt for tuition paid to be reimbursed.

5. You can be reimbursed for courses related toyour current position or another position inthe company, or for courses that are part of adegree related to a current or possible job.

6. Your supervisor must sign the application form.

7. Courses may be at any appropriate level (highschool, college or university, or graduate school).

b. Activities in Starting a New Business

• Getting a loan or venture capital• Getting any necessary city or provincial

licences• Determining what you will make, do, or sell• Identifying the market for your products or

services• Pricing your products or services• Choosing a location• Checking zoning laws that may affect the

location• Identifying government and university

programs for small business development• Figuring cash flow• Ordering equipment and supplies• Selling• Advertising and marketing

5.8 Analyzing Documents

Collect several documents available to you as aworker, student, or consumer: letters and memos,newsletters, ads and flyers, reports. Use the guidelinesin Module 5 to evaluate each of them.

As your instructor directs,

a. Discuss the documents with a small group ofclassmates.

b. Write a memo to your instructor evaluating threeor more of the documents. Include originals or

photocopies of the documents you discuss as anappendix to your memo.

c. Write a memo to your supervisor recommendingways the organization can improve its documents.

d. In an oral presentation to the class, explain whatmakes one document good and another one weak.If possible, use transparencies so classmates cansee the documents as you evaluate them.

5.9 Evaluating Web Pages

Compare three Web pages in the same category (forexample, non-profit organizations, car companies,university departments, sports information). Whichpages are most effective? Why? What would youchange? Why?


a. Discuss the pages with a small group ofclassmates.

b. Write a memo to your instructor evaluating thepages. Include the URLs of the pages in yourmemo.

c. In an oral presentation to the class, explain whatmakes one page good and another one weak. Ifpossible, put the pages onscreen so classmates cansee the pages as you evaluate them.

d. Post your evaluation of the pages in an emailmessage to the class. Include hot links to the pagesyou evaluate.




5.10 Analyzing a Document

Your municipal and provincial governments may offer internships and cooperative placements topostsecondary students. Research (visit, telephone,email, find someone who knows someone) theplacement possibilities through your

college/university co-op placement office, or contactthe government department directly. Request a copy ofthe application or information documents for thesepositions. Write an analysis of the document’s layoutand page design.

5.11 Revising a Financial Aid Form

You’ve just joined the Financial Aid office at yourschool. The director gives you the accompanying formand asks you to redesign it.

“We need this form to see whether parents have other students in college or university besides the onerequesting aid. Parents are supposed to list all familymembers that the parents support—themselves, theperson here, any other kids in college or university,and any younger dependent kids.

“Half of these forms are filled out incorrectly. Mostpeople just list the student going here; they leave outeveryone else.

“If something is missing, the computer sends out a letterand a second copy of this form. The whole process startsover. Sometimes we send this form back two or threetimes before it’s right. In the meantime, students’ finan-cial aid is delayed—maybe for months. Sometimes thingsare so late that they can’t register for classes, or theyhave to pay tuition themselves and get reimbursed later.

“If so many people are filling out the form wrong, theform itself must be the problem. See what you can dowith it. But keep it to a page.”


a. Analyze the current form and identify its problems.b. Revise the form. Add necessary information;

reorder information; change the chart to make iteasier to fill out.

Hints:

• Where are people supposed to send the form?What is the phone number of the financial aidoffice? Should they need to call the office if theform is clear?

• Does the definition of half-time apply to allstudents or just those taking courses beyond highschool?

• Should capital or lowercase letters be used?• Are the lines big enough to write in?• What headings or subdivisions within the form

would remind people to list all family memberswhom they support?

• How can you encourage people to return the formpromptly?

Please complete the chart below by listing all family members for whom you (the parents) will provide more than half supportduring the academic year (July 1 through June 30). Include yourselves (the parents), the student, and your dependent children,even if they are not attending college or university.

EDUCATIONAL INFORMATION, 2006–2007

RELATIONSHIP NAME OF FULL NAME OF FAMILY SCHOOL, COLLEGE,OF FAMILY MEMBERS TO OR UNIVERSITY HALF-TIME* LESS THANMEMBER AGE STUDENT SCHOOL YEAR FULL TIME OR MORE HALF-TIME

STUDENT APPLICANT

*Half-time is defined as 6 credit hours or 12 clock hours a term.

When the information requested is received by our office, processing of your financial aid application will resume.

Please sign and mail this form to the above address as soon as possible. Your signature certifies that this information andthe information on the FAF is true and complete to the best of your knowledge. If you have any questions, please contact amember of the needs analysis staff.

Signature of Parent(s) Data




Polishing Your Prose

Active and Passive VoiceBecause it depicts the action, the verb is the mostimportant word in the sentence. Verbs indicate who or what is doing the action through “voice.”When whoever is acting is also the subject of the sentence, the verb is active; in the passive voice, the subject is acted on by someone or something else.

Contemporary communication prefers verbs in theactive voice, because the resulting sentence is clearer and shorter. When writers want to avoid ordownplay delegating responsibility, they use thepassive voice.

Active: The man bought grapes at the store.

Passive: The grapes were bought by the man at thestore.

In the active voice, the subject—the man—is doingthe action—bought. In the passive version, “Thegrapes” is the subject, yet it is the man, not thegrapes, that is actually doing the action. It is harderfor the reader to follow who or what did theaction. In addition, it takes more words to conveythe same idea.

To change a passive voice construction into theactive voice, start by identifying who or what isdoing the action. If no agent (“by _____”) is present in the sentence, you will need to supply it.A passive verb is usually accompanied by a copulaverb, such as is, are, or were. Rewrite the sentenceby putting the actor in the role of subject and drop-ping the helping verb:

Passive: The plan was approved by our clients.

Active: Our clients approved the plan.

Passive: PowerPoint™ slides have been created.

Active: Susan created the PowerPoint™ slides.

Passive: It is desired that you back up your workdaily.

Active: Back up your work daily.

In business communication, active voice is usuallybetter. However, passives are better in threesituations:

1. Use passives to emphasize the object receivingthe action, not the agent.

Your order was shipped November 15.The customer’s order, not the shipping clerk, isimportant.

2. Use passives to provide coherence within aparagraph. A sentence is easier to read if “old”information comes at the beginning of asentence. When you have been discussing atopic, use the word again as your subject even ifthat requires a passive verb.

The bank made several risky loans in the late1990s. These loans were written off as“uncollectible” in 2003.

Using loans as the subject of the secondsentence provides a link between the twosentences, making the paragraph as a wholeeasier to read.

3. Use passives to avoid assigning blame.

The order was damaged during shipment.

An active verb would require the writer tospecify who damaged the order. The passivehere is more tactful.

Exercises

Identify whether the passives in the following sen-tences are acceptable, or whether the verb shouldbe changed to active.

1. The contract was signed by the vice president offinance.

2. New employees Ms. Taleroski, Mr. Franklin,and Ms. Holbreck were introduced at lastweek’s staff meeting.

3. Two visitors are expected to arrive atheadquarters tomorrow.

4. Outgoing correspondence was collected by themailroom staff.

5. The proposal was turned in late.




Turn these passive voice constructions into activevoice:

6. Correspondence was collected by the mailroomstaff.

7. Phone calls were returned by the humanresources administrator.

8. In April, budgets were amortized and filescreated for the project.

9. Phone calls need to be returned within 24 hours.

10. Packages are to be sent to the mailroom fordelivery.

Check your answers to the odd-numbered exerciseson page 571.

Visit the Online Learning Centre at www.mcgrawhill.ca/olc/locker to access module quizzes, a searchable glossary, résumé and letter templates, additional business writing samples, CBCvideos, and other learning and study tools.

Online Learning Centre

Visit the Online Learning Centre at www.mcgrawhill.ca/olc/locker to view “Office Etiquette,”an online CBC Video Case that explores how good manners aid communication between co-workers.

CBC Video Case

Cases for Communicators

Minorities Need Apply

Canadians may feel complacent about Canadianmulticulturalism—particularly when comparing oursupposed acceptance of diversity with recent events inParis and Holland. A closer look at our institutions,corporate boards and police forces, however, indicatesthat systemic prejudice still exists. The Royal CanadianMounted Police (RCMP) is one of many Canadianinstitutions that must transform itself to reflect thediverse populations it serves.

At present, the RCMP is mostly made up of whitemales. Indeed, of the 1000 Mounties on the force, “… just 6.4 percent … are from minority backgrounds.Some 7.6 percent are aboriginal and 18 percent arewomen.” Although visible minorities make up “about13 percent” of officers on the Toronto and York policeforces, “… minority representation in Canadian policeservices averages around 5 percent.” Since even oursmaller cities are now attracting immigrants from all

over the world, the RCMP recognizes it’s time torecruit and hire people whose languages and culturesrepresent the diverse communities they serve.

But this goal is not as easy as it sounds. First, manyrecent immigrants do not know much about theRCMP; they don’t know that the Mounties are anational police force with the same roles andresponsibilities as provincial and municipal policeofficers. Secondly, the recruitment drive must beinclusive enough to attract applicants from Canada’swidely diverse cultural mix.

How can the Mounties best reach their audiences?5

Individual Activity

You’re the constable in charge of planning the RCMPdiversity recruitment drive. Before you can devise anystrategies, you need to apply the PAIBOC model toanalyze the situation:




Purpose(s): Why are we recruiting? What results do wewant from our recruiting drive? How can we bestattract the positive attention of our audiences?

Audiences(s): Who are our target audiences? Whatgroups are considered “diverse”? What do thesegroups know about the RCMP force? What do theyneed to know to be attracted to the force? Howhomogeneous are these target groups? What values ofthese disparate groups can we appeal to?

Information: What information must our recruitmentstrategies convey? Why?

Benefits: What are the many benefits, tangible andintangible, of joining the Mounties? What benefitswould specifically attract our target groups?

Objections: What objections about joining the RCMPmight I expect? How can I best eliminate, overcome, orrespond to those objections?

Context: How do my target audiences feel about theRCMP? About policing in general? What currenteconomic, political, legal and/or social events can I useto my advantage? What current events might determembers of my target audiences from joining theRCMP?

Write down your thoughts for future reference. Be asthorough as possible in your analysis.

Next, visit and tour the RCMP Web site athttp:///www.rcmp-grc.gc.ca.

How many of the groups identified as diverse do yousee represented in the photos on the site? What is youropinion of the current recruitment drive strategiesidentified on the site? Jot down your impressions.

Group Activity

Form a recruitment drive committee with three otherclassmates. Compare notes on your PAIBOC analyses,and your analyses of the RCMP Web site. Togetherwith your committee members, identify fourrecruitment strategies that will attract any/all of yourfour target groups.

Write a letter from your committee to Geoff Gruson,executive director of the Police Sector Council, inOttawa, describing your recruitment drive strategies indetail.
