DESCRIPTIVEESSAY

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ASSIGNMENT To describe a CAMPUS OBJECT utilizing only SENSE DETAILS:

-sight -taste-sound -touch-smell

To describe only the physical characteristics;

To appeal to the senses; to use concrete details

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TOPICS1) An object on the LCCC main campus

— agreed upon by the class

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PREWRITING

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PREWRITING1) 5 SENSES complete the “Sense Details List”

make 5 lists (one for each sense) sight, smell, sound, taste, touch

under each, list as many sense details regarding your topic as possible

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PREWRITING2) IMPRESSIONS from the previous lists, make connections

between items on the previous lists group according to likeness that is, certain sense details are related

by the impression that they create o“eerie” o“messy”o“feminine”

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PREWRITING3) DOMINANT IMPRESSION the longest list of impressions from the

previous lists will be your dominant impression,

the most striking impression concerning your object

to this list add oadjectivesoadverbso similes/metaphors

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PREWRITING4) SYNONYMS Make a list of synonyms for your

Dominant Impression Consult a thesaurus “Tidy”:

oneatoorderlyoorganizedounclutteredoanal-retentive/obsessive-compulsive

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INTRODUCTION

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INTRODUCTIONFUNNEL EFFECT

1. Generalize 1st

o Introduce your topic o Most people, Most college students

2. Narrow your focuso Some o Others

3. Focus on you o Me

4. End with Thesis Statement

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THESIS

GENERALIZE 1st-Introduce your topic -Most college studentsNARROW your FOCUS

-Some -Others

FOCUS on YOU -Me

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INTRODUCTIONFUNNEL EFFECT: EXAMPLES

1) Owning a car these days is a necessity, for none more than the community college student. Looking around the parking lot at Luzerne County Community College, I usually see three types of cars: the new, high-end graduation-gift cars, the modified sports cars, and the run-down first cars. Unfortunately, my car is one of the latter.... Thesis with clear Dominant Impression: My gray 1986 Oldsmobile Omega is a Bondo Buggy, especially in terms of its exterior, interior, and trunk.

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Thesis Statement

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INTRODUCTIONTHESIS STATEMENT

Comes at the end of the first paragraph (“Funnel Effect”)

TOPICTOPIC + + MAIN IDEAMAIN IDEA + + SUPPORTSUPPORT

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INTRODUCTIONTHESIS STATEMENT

Example for Descriptive EssayExample for Descriptive Essay: : o My car is a junker in terms of its….o Three aspects of my car that make it a junker

are the front seat, the back seat, and the trunk.

Contains the Dominant Impression and the 3 aspects/parts of your object that support it.

TOPIC: MY CARD.I.: JUNKERSUPPORT: (1) FRONT SEAT

(2) BACK SEAT (3) TRUNK

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Dominant Impression

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INTRODUCTIONDOMINANT IMPRESSION

*CHARACTERISTICS of a Dominant Impression:

*ADJECTIVE or NOUN* Declared in thesis statement Unifying or controlling aspect; ambiance;

this will link all of your sense details. Without this, your details are like marbles

without a jar. The first adjective that comes to mind

when you think of your car.

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DOMINANT DOMINANT IMPRESSIONIMPRESSION

SENSE SENSE DETAILDETAIL

SENSE DETAILSENSE DETAIL SENSE DETAILSENSE DETAIL

ALL SENSE DETAILS RELATE TO & SUPPORT DOMINANT IMPRESSION

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INTRODUCTIONDOMINANT IMPRESSION

*HOW TO CREATE a Dominant Impression:

Write the 5 senses on a blank sheet of paper with room beneath each to write;

Then, list as many details that appeal to a particular sense under its name;

Go from the front of the car to the back & from the outside to the inside;

Then, see which details are related to each other, that paint a similar picture of the object, and group them together;

What these details relate to will be your Dominant Impression.

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INTRODUCTIONDOMINANT IMPRESSION: EXAMPLES

ROOM: oasis of peace, tranquil refuge, feminine/masculine, reflects personality (*you must briefly

define your personality; use the appropriate adjective before the word “personality”: creative personality, artistic temperament),

reflects my musical tastes, disaster area, pig sty

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INTRODUCTIONDOMINANT IMPRESSION: EXAMPLES

CAR: total embarrassment, Bondo Buggy, off-road monster, Junk Mobile, typical college student’s (in terms of

mess, neglect, ...), typical first car (in terms of price,

efficiency...), “The Black Beauty,” “The Polar Bear” giant toy, sporty car, Daddy’s car, accessorized car (“Pimp My Ride”)

(tricked out)

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BODY

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DO

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BODY: DO’sQualities of a Strong Descriptive Essay

Each Body paragraph will be an area, aspect of the object.

Top, Middle, Bottom Front, Inside, Trunk Left-to-Right Scan of a room

Name, Explain, Illustrate, Reiterate “One area of this object that gives the

impression of futility is the top.”

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BODY: DO’sQualities of a Strong Descriptive Essay

1)*** DESCRIBE—DO NOT LIST!! Describe items found in your car/room; Lists do not describe; lists are more

exemplary than descriptive; This is a descriptive essay using sense

details, not an illustrative essay using reasons;

Show rather than tell

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BODYOTHER CHARACTERISITICS OF A

STRONG DESCRIPTIVE ESSAY

2) SENSE DETAILS only: Appeal to the 5 senses, not just sight Appeal to as many of the 5 that are

relevant Consult your prewriting lists

Relying solely on sight leads to LISTS

Number, size, shape, texture, material, odor/scent, taste, sound

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BODYOTHER CHARACTERISITICS OF A

STRONG DESCRIPTIVE ESSAY

3) SIMILES & METAPHORS: use similes & metaphors to reinforce your

D.I. EX:

• “The smell is like…” OR •“The smell reminds me of wet, moldy leaves

soaking in a crammed rain gutter for a month. (not a pleasing D.I.)

*WARNING: Similes only support your sense details; they do NOT replace the need for sense details.

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BODYOTHER CHARACTERISITICS OF A

STRONG DESCRIPTIVE ESSAY

3) SIMILES & METAPHORS: EX:

rust = •cancer, leprosy, flesh-eating bacteria;

“angry red beast:” •headlights = giant glaring eyes, grill=hungry

chrome jaws, bumper=chin with battle scars • (continue the metaphor throughout, only

those details that support “beastly”)

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BODYOTHER CHARACTERISITICS OF A

STRONG DESCRIPTIVE ESSAY

4) Relate all SENSE DETAILS to your DOMINANT IMPRESSION:

all details should reinforce your D.I. if it does not, omit the detail

all sense details and metaphors should support a single impression

this is NOT a “word picture” in which you describe every aspect of your car instead, focus your description on your

D.I.

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BODYRelate all SENSE DETAILS to your

DOMINANT IMPRESSION Repeat THESIS:

o “Another aspect of my room that makes it a pig sty is….”

o at the start of each paragraph

ADJECTIVES and ADVERBS that are synonymous with your Dominant Impression oADJ: busy = hectic, energetic, bustling,

crowded, swarming, packed, jammed, overrun, popular, populous, active, lively

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BODYOTHER CHARACTERISITICS OF A

STRONG DESCRIPTIVE ESSAY

5) Use TRANSITIONS: o between sentences (logically or spatially

connect details in each sentence) AND o between paragraphs (repeat thesis)

6) Use proper PN REFERENCE: o *especially when generalizing in Introductiono Everyone has a place he/she could call his/her

own.o see how the use of “he/she” gets old fasto so go plural: Most people have a place they

could call their own.

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BODYOTHER CHARACTERISITICS OF A

STRONG DESCRIPTIVE ESSAY

7) DICTION:—use creative, selective, and pointed details & words (employ concrete/specific word choice)

8) Include an INTRODUCTION (see above) and a CONCLUSION (see below or consult the textbook)

9) Have a CLEAR VISION of the object (best to visit the place you will describe)

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BODYOTHER CHARACTERISITICS OF A

STRONG DESCRIPTIVE ESSAY

10) Have a CAREFUL SELECTION of DETAILS o only those that support your DI

11) Maintain a consistent point-of-view (POV) o no second person POV “you”o your room, your car, your impression,

your details your POV (speak from the “I”)

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BODYOTHER CHARACTERISITICS OF A

STRONG DESCRIPTIVE ESSAY

12) COHERENCE:o develop a logical flow of ideas/detailso “camera angle”

13) Paragraph Structure:o 3 Body paragraphs = 3 parts of car/roomo do NOT arrange the essay around the senses

(each paragraph is not one of the senses)

14) *REMEMBER: o this is NOT a “why” or “because” essay which is

supported with reasons o instead, use aspect, feature, characteristic,

portion

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BODYTAKE THE HINT

SENSE DETAILS ONLY

ONLY THOSE SENSE DETAILS THAT SUPPORT YOUR DOMINANT IMPRESSION

IF ANY DETAIL DOES NOT SUPPORT YOUR DOMINANT IMPRESSION—NO MATTER HOW “COOL” OR INTERESTING IT MAY BE—OMIT IT FROM THIS ESSAY

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SENSESENSEDETAILDETAIL

DOMINANTDOMINANTIMPRESSIONIMPRESSION

SENSESENSEDETAILDETAIL

SENSESENSEDETAILDETAIL

SENSESENSEDETAILDETAIL

SENSESENSEDETAILDETAIL

SENSESENSEDETAILDETAIL

SENSESENSEDETAILDETAIL

SENSESENSEDETAILDETAIL

SENSESENSEDETAILDETAIL LISTSLISTS

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DON’T

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BODY: DON’Ts1) ***DO NOT LIST items found in your

car/room; this does not describe; lists are more exemplary than descriptive (this is a descriptive essay using sense details, not an illustrative essay using reasons) (show rather than tell)

2) Do NOT just throw ideas onto the page; make sure you have a Dominant Impression -- a clear purpose, a point; be a movie director and limit what you want the audience to see, to see it/them from your perspective

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BODY: DON’Ts3) Do NOT describe emotions, feelings,

personality (these are not sense details)

4) Do NOT use pat expressions/clichés (rough around the edges), contractions (I’ve, it’s), poor diction (“things,” “a lot”), or abbreviations (especially CD=compact disc)

5) *NUMBERS: 3+ syllables/numerals = 350, 1 or 2 syllables/numerals = six, twenty-five; year = 1998, 2005)

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CONCLUSION

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CONCLUSIONPURPOSE of CONCLUDING PARAGRAPHS

To stress the importance/relevance of your thesis (SO WHAT?!)

To repeat your purpose To repeat your thesis (moral, point, lesson,

Dominant Impression) To repeat your main ideas To give the essay a sense of

completeness/finality To leave the reader with a final impression

(*this is your last chance to convince/persuade the reader, so make the most of it!)

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CONCLUSION SUGGESTIONS

Discuss in full the lesson learned Suggest larger implications of your

findings Suggest future papers or research Refer back to your purpose and/or

scenario mentioned in your Introduction Pose rhetorical questions Offer a 3rd side to the issue End with a CLINCHER SENTENCE

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CONCLUSIONCLINCHER SENTENCE

Just as you ended each Body paragraph with a concluding sentence that wrapped up that point/paragraph, so too will you end the entire essay

(Thesis Statement : Topic Sentence :: Clincher Sentence : Paragraph Clincher Sentence)

Avoid the empty cliché Wrap it all up Relate to your point (for example, if you

wrote a process paper on making a PB&J sandwich, end by saying that you are now hungry for one)

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VISUAL IMPRESSIONS

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BEDROOM #1

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BEDROOM #2

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BEDROOM #3

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CAR #1

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CAR #2

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CAR #3

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CAR #4

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Descriptive Essay

VSExample Essay

53Descriptive Essay VS Example Essay

SENSE DETAILS Dominant Impression BODY STRUCTURE:o 3 Body paragraphso 3 parts of the room/caro Each supported by:o sense details ONLYo metaphors to support DI

LISTS = prohibited SHOW SPATIAL ORDER

REASONS Argument/Claim BODY STRUCTURE:o 3 Body paragraphso 3 reasonso Each supported by:o examples o descriptive detailso narrativeso types/roles LISTS = permissible TELL EMPHATIC ORDER