debriefing the persuasive essay

8/3/2019 Debriefing the Persuasive Essay

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Debriefing the

Persuasive Essay1. Free Will vs. Determinism

2. Moral Considerations vs. EconomicConsiderations

3. Are People Inherently Empathetic?


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ACritical IssueO Not writing on one of the available topics.

O Example: Some people wrote on whether ornot someone should believe in free will.That wasnt the question. The question iswhich one is true. So the question is, to putit in other words, whether people are ever

truly free or whether their actions aredecided or determined by forces beyondtheir control.


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Is Free Will or DeterminismCorrect:

O Examples in favor of free will being correct:

It seems I am clearly able to choose theclothes I put on in the morning and it seemsI can choose which books to read.

O Examples in favor of determinism: It is clear

that I cannot choose whether or not I will dieand I cannot choose whether the sun goesaround the earth.


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That is NOT the same as:

O Is it better for me or not if I believe I cant

control the events of my life?

O If you wrote on this issue, you must re-write

your paper.


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Another Critical Issue:O Some people did not provide an argument in

favor of their thesis, a counterargument

where you explain the concerns of someonewho disagrees with that thesis, and a

rebuttal where you address the concerns of

someone who disagrees with you.

O

These components are what constitutes apersuasive essay and without them, you

have not fulfilled the basic requirements.


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An Example of this Structure:O People are free to choose and here are two

examples that explain why I think this:

O Some people say we are not free to choose, thatall of our actions are determined and here aretwo examples they might have in mind:

O However, my argument that people are indeed

able to choose is still stronger because I canaddress the objections of someone whodisagrees:


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So how did these issueshappen?

O In almost all instances, these confusions

occurred as a direct result of leaving out oneof the necessary elements of theintroduction. This is why those elements arecritical. They set the structure of the rest ofyour essay. Generally, in essays that will

need to be re-written, the author did notclarify the issue or he/she did not write theguiding question.


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Less Problematic Issues:O Being wishy-washy: Some writers still

wanted to argue that, for instance, free will

is and is not true. Doing that means yourstructure will inevitably suffer. In addition, if

you follow the structure, you can still reach

that conclusion, but only by going through

those steps.


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Example:O People are genuinely free

O Some people say they are not

O People are, however, still free, but I admitthat there is a sense in which they are notfree to change gravity, but those examplesdo not show that in most instances peopleare free to choose.


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Not having a conclusion:

O I am not entirely sure how this happened

except that I did not give you a stemparagraph for the conclusion. I did,

however, require that you have one. Look at

the yellow sheet that explained the

assignment. ALL formal essays require a

conclusion.


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Failure to elaborate onexamples:

O Lets say that you are arguing that moral

considerations are more important thaneconomic considerations and you want to

give me some examples. Saying that

abortion is important is not enough. How is

this an issue that is more important than the

economy? Explain this to me.


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An Example that is too Brief:O Some people believe in determinism because they

cant control death or that the earth goes around thesun.

How does that show determinism is universally true?Are these really two examples or are they the same kindof example? Is that the only kind of example one mightpick? If it is, tell me why they think those examplesprove their point since not everything is that obvious. Ifthey think other things are determined, discuss whatthose things are. Your argument is only as good as yourexamples.


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Better:O When people argue in favor of determinism,

they often choose examples of events, such

as death, that we cannot avoid or facts,such as that the earth travels around the

sun, that we cannot control. Clearly we

cannot avoid death because all biological

organisms succumb to disease or old age,

nor are we in control of the laws of the

universe. Each of these represent scientific

facts.


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O This is quite different, however, than arguing that

my choice of t-shirt is determined, but a personwho seriously advocates determinism couldargue that as well. He or she might say thatalthough it seems I am free to choose whichevershirt I want, my choices are restricted by mytastes, which are shaped solely by my cultures

views of style and color and by the choicesavailable to me in the past, most of which weredetermined by my parents favorite colors. Inthat sense, while I may seem free to choose my

t-shirt, there is a sense in which because ofwhere I grew up and with whom, I am not free tochoose a bright pink kimono today, even if it istrue that no one is forcing me not to.


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Fragments:

O There was one language issue common to

all of the papers with language issues and itwas the use of fragments.

O Here is the most commonly occuring

fragment:O For example, death.


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How to fix that:

O Grammatical errors are not, for the most

part, violations of rules that someone justmade up on a Tuesday. A grammatical error

is an error in clear communication. If each

sentence reflects a complete idea, you will

have no fragments. Ask yourself: Does this

sentence express a complete idea?


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Commas:

O While the misuse of commas was not as

frequent, it was there. This also has arelatively easy fix that does not require

memorizing anything. Read your sentences

out loud to yourself. Notice where, naturally,

you hesitate or you include a short pause

and that is usually where a comma goes.


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Clarity:

O We are getting much better at this, but

sometimes I encountered paragraph orsentences that made little sense.

O The fix for this it to realize that when youwrite an essay, you are using what is called

academic language, which is quitedifferent from the language we use mostoften.


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Academic Language?

O The best way to begin to use academic language

is to pick a person who uses it all or most of thetime, and when you re-read your papers, pretend

that he or she is speaking. Alternatively, pretend

you are explaining your points to someone who

uses academic language. In other words,

pretend you are writing to me, not to the man orwoman in your head (who I certainly hope is not

me).


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Now for the good news:O We are going to the computer lab tomorrow

where we will all re-write our papers. Those

re-written papers will represent your finalgrade. That is very good news because it

means that everyone who turned in a paper

the first time around now has credit for a

draft. It is even better news for people who

did NOT turn a paper in the first time

around, because now you can do that.


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Check:O Do I have a guiding question?

O Have I defined my key terms? It is not a definition if itrepeats the term to be defined in the definition.

O Not a definition: Cats are things that are cat-like.

O A definition: Cats are members of the species felinesand they include everything from house cats to tigers.

All felines are carnivores, but their social habits differ.Some hunt in groups, some are solitary.


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Check:O Do I have two examples for each body

paragraph?

O Are they the best examples I could give?

O Are they just one kind of example or are they

genuinely different kinds of examples.


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Check:O Would a story help me explain my example?

O Have I explained exactly why my exampleproves my point or have I supposed it does?

O Does my rebuttal address the concerns Ioutlined in my counterargument?

O Do I have a conclusion?


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Check:O Are my sentences clear? If I were to explain

my points to my teacher, would she or he

understand?

O Do I express myself in complete sentences?

O Do I use commas?

debriefing the persuasive essay

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