day #3 of 8 types of attachment communication 0lli loveandloss/day 3 files/class 3 of 8...mary...
TRANSCRIPT
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Day #3 of 8
Types of Attachment
&
Communication
Roster: Handouts:
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your name or add
your name.
Please pick up a copy
of today’s handouts.
http://www.canyons.edu/faculty/rafterm
Love & Loss Day #3 of 8
3 Types of Attachment Formation
Mary Ainsworth
Attachment Formation &
Adult Relationships
Men’s vs. Women’s
Communication Styles
Deborah Tannen
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3 Types of Attachment Formation
Mary Ainsworth
Secure
(Anxious) Avoidant
Anxious Ambivalent Resistant
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A video clip on our Day #3 Information Page
The Strange Situation – Mary Ainsworth (3:15)
Mary Ainsworth’s “Strange Situation” Parent & Baby play
Parent as a secure base - Parent sits while Baby plays
Stranger Anxiety - Stranger enters and talks to Parent
Separation Anxiety - Parent leaves – Stranger lets Baby play & comforts if
needed
Reaction to Reunion - Parent returns, greets Baby, comforts if needed, Stranger
leaves
Separation Anxiety - Parent leaves
Stranger Anxiety and Ability to be soothed by stranger - Stranger enters, comforts if
needed
Reaction to Reunion - Parent returns, greets Baby, comforts if needed, lets Baby
return to play
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Four Attachment Types Secure Attachment: A child who is securely attached to its caregiver will explore freely
while the caregiver is present, will engage with strangers, will be visibly upset when the caregiver departs, and happy to see the caregiver return. The child will not engage with the stranger if the caregiver is not in the room.
Anxious-Ambivalent Insecure Attachment: A child with an anxious-resistant attachment style is anxious of exploration and of strangers, even when the caregiver is present. When the caregiver departs, the child is extremely distressed. The child will be ambivalent when she returns and will seek to remain close to the caregiver, but will be resentful, and also resistant when the caregiver initiates attention.
Avoidant Anxious-Insecure Attachment: A child with an anxious-avoidant attachment style will avoid or ignore the caregiver and show little emotion when the caregiver departs or returns. The child will not explore very much, regardless of who is there. Strangers will not be treated very differently from the caregiver. There is not much emotional range displayed regardless of who is in the room or if it is empty.
Disorganized/Disoriented attachment: Characterized in Ainsworth's "strange situation" task as a child who exhibits behavioral disorganization or disorientation in the form of wandering, confused expressions, freezing, undirected movements, or contradictory (i.e. "unorganized") patterns of interaction with a caregiver.
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Attachment Style
Nature or Nurture?
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Identical Twins Separated at Birth
Twin Female Teenagers
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Attachment Style . . . and memory.
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Attachment Style
measured at 12 months old.
29 Secure and 24 Insecure (Ambivalent & Avoidant)
. . . and memory for
good events & bad events
measured at age 3
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3-YEAR-OLD CHILDREN AND THEIR MEMORY FOR EVENTS
Child Attachment Type
at 12 months
Memory for
Good Event
Memory for
Bad Event
Secure
Insecure
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3-YEAR-OLD CHILDREN AND THEIR MEMORY FOR EVENTS
Child Attachment Type
at 12 months
Memory for
Good Event
Memory for
Bad Event
Secure Very Good Very Poor
Insecure
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3-YEAR-OLD CHILDREN AND THEIR MEMORY FOR EVENTS
Child Attachment Type
at 12 months
Memory for
Good Event
Memory for
Bad Event
Secure Very Good Very Poor
Insecure Very Poor Very Good
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Attachment Formation
&
Adult Relationships
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See the last page of today’s notepages.
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REJECTION SENSITIVITY is related to poor attachment formation.
Insecure Attachment Formation
Mania love style
Safety & Belongingness needs
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Rejection Sensitivity
is related to
poor attachment formation.
If Relationship Involvement is
Low…
…The person will likely terminate the
relationship at any sign of rejection.
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Rejection Sensitivity
is related to
poor attachment formation.
If Relationship Involvement is
High…
…The person will likely become
jealous, controlling, hostile, and
then abusive at any sign of rejection.
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Communication Styles
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Eden & Mandy
They have been married 8 years
and have 3 young children.
(14:12)
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A Brief Break, during which…
Please ask someone else,
what they thought
was most important
from today’s class
so far.
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See Gottman’s 7 Principles on our Day #3 NotePages.
LOVE & COMMUNICATION STYLES: WOMEN’S AND MEN’S DEBORAH TANNEN
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FEMALE COMMUNICATION - EXPRESSIVE - The person already feels intimate
(willing to share concerns) and expresses (shares) thoughts, emotions, and behaviors as a means to express and enhance the intimacy.
Sharing a concern is an expression of intimacy.
Silence = no intimacy. 29
MALE COMMUNICATION - INSTRUMENTAL – The person wants to change the
universe (solve a problem or increase status) communication is an instrument (a means) to change things.
Silence = no problem.
Sharing a concern may decrease status.
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HOMECOMING GREETINGS
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John Prine’s Angel from Montgomery “How can a person go to work each day Come home in the evening And have nothing to say?”
LOVE & SEX
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LOVE & SEX
1st 2nd
Female Love -
Sex
Male Sex Love
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“Sex” as a mode of communication: Expressive of love felt or Instrumental in getting love
Two versions of “The Love Song” Female & Male
LOVE or SEX?
#1
Female Love
Male Sex
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Which is most special?
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TREASURE MOMENTS TOGETHER.
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“May you
find your
treasure
everyday!”
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