Managing Conflict, Negotiation

and Getting to Yes Bill Davis, Facilitator

Clinton Leadership SchoolFebruary 17, 2015

• Today’s Goals: Today’s Goals: – Add value Add value

•Refresh on concepts and learn something Refresh on concepts and learn something new.new.

•Build and enhance your past success. Build and enhance your past success.

• Present with Active Learning Methods: Present with Active Learning Methods: – ObserveObserve– Do Do – Dialogue with Self and Others Dialogue with Self and Others

WelcomeWelcome

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•Spend Our Time Wisely Spend Our Time Wisely •Make it Fun and Make it Fun and Productive. Productive.

Time is Important!

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• Getting To Yes, Fisher and Ury Getting To Yes, Fisher and Ury

• Getting to Yes Presentation for IS Dept, Getting to Yes Presentation for IS Dept, 2007 2007

• Teaching and Career ExperienceTeaching and Career Experience

• Professional Sales, Marketing and Professional Sales, Marketing and Negotiating Training Negotiating Training

Sources

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• Share the Big Picture• Avoid distractions• Be specific - X 7 (X11)• Speak the “native

tongue”• Create 2-way

conversation• Gain immediate feedback• Power of Body Language

Communication During Communication During ChangeChange

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• Higher Sense of Purpose Higher Sense of Purpose • Open Mind – Embrace DiversityOpen Mind – Embrace Diversity

• Common Ground Common Ground

• Rosabeth Moss Kanter Rosabeth Moss Kanter

Enduring Principles Enduring Principles for Changing Times for Changing Times

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• Chapter One – Chapter One – – Problems that arise in using the Problems that arise in using the

standard strategies for positional standard strategies for positional bargaining.bargaining.

• Chapter Two – Five Chapter Two – Five – Four principles of the method.Four principles of the method.

Getting to Yes – Getting to Yes – About the Book - About the Book - It’s About It’s About

Principled Negotiation.Principled Negotiation.

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• Negotiation is a fact of life. Negotiation is a fact of life. • More and More occasions require More and More occasions require

negotiation.negotiation.• Every negotiation is different, but the Every negotiation is different, but the

basic elements do not change. basic elements do not change. • Principled negotiation can be used Principled negotiation can be used

whether there is one issue or several. whether there is one issue or several.

Getting to Yes – Author’s Getting to Yes – Author’s CommentsComments

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Think Pair Share Think Pair Share (5 Minutes) (5 Minutes)

• What is negotiation?What is negotiation?• What is meant by successful negotiation?What is meant by successful negotiation?• What are some skills associated with successfulWhat are some skills associated with successful

negotiating? negotiating? • What is an objection? What is an objection? • What is an outcome? What is an outcome? • What are some successful and/or unsuccessful What are some successful and/or unsuccessful

negotiations that you have been involved in? negotiations that you have been involved in? What were the outcomes? What were the outcomes?

•

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Four Major ComponentsFour Major Components

-- Separate the People From the Separate the People From the ProblemProblem-- Focus on Interests, Not PositionsFocus on Interests, Not Positions-- Invent Options for Mutual GainInvent Options for Mutual Gain-- Insist on Using Objective CriteriaInsist on Using Objective Criteria

Fisher and Ury (1991) Getting To YesFisher and Ury (1991) Getting To Yes

The Four Principles The Four Principles of Getting to Yes ?of Getting to Yes ?

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• Change be difficult for some. Change be difficult for some.

• Change may create a reaction at times and conflict Change may create a reaction at times and conflict (Change creates motion and motion can create (Change creates motion and motion can create friction). friction).

• Intrapersonal and Interpersonal Conflict Types Intrapersonal and Interpersonal Conflict Types

• Stages of Conflict Escalation Stages of Conflict Escalation (Thomas’s Model of (Thomas’s Model of Escalation)Escalation)

• Awareness of tension, Severing of the relationship Awareness of tension, Severing of the relationship and Total Destruction and Total Destruction

• Types of Conflicts (Types of Conflicts (Interest, Cognitive and NormativeInterest, Cognitive and Normative): ): – Bumps, Bruises and Head BangersBumps, Bruises and Head Bangers

Before We Begin – Before We Begin – Some Points on Change and Some Points on Change and

Conflict Conflict

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Why Can Conflicts Why Can Conflicts Can Be Tough To Manage? Can Be Tough To Manage?

1. You are dealing with People and Personality • Enduring tendencies to feel, think, and act in certain

ways.

2. Perceptions

3. Powerful Needs and Wants- Security- Economic well being- Sense of belonging- Recognition

4. Remember, change can create conflict at times and change be

difficult . So remember, always before beginning a always before beginning a negotiation or handling a conflict, please know the situation negotiation or handling a conflict, please know the situation and know your purpose. and know your purpose.

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• Strong emotions are often involved in Strong emotions are often involved in conflict situationsconflict situations

• Hurting people’s feelings just makes Hurting people’s feelings just makes things worsethings worse

• Speak for purposeSpeak for purpose - When anger’s high, some things are - When anger’s high, some things are

best left unsaidbest left unsaid - Before making a statement, know - Before making a statement, know

what purpose this information will what purpose this information will serveserve

Separate People Separate People From The ProblemFrom The Problem

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Strong emotions usually follow Strong emotions usually follow conflicted situations. conflicted situations.

Anger Anger Depression Depression Fear Fear HostilityHostilityFrustration Frustration Distant Distant

Separate the People Separate the People From the ProblemFrom the Problem

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• Don’t blame the other person for the Don’t blame the other person for the problemproblem

• Act as a partner, not an enemyAct as a partner, not an enemy• Allow a cooling off period when necessaryAllow a cooling off period when necessary• Use symbolic gestures when appropriate Use symbolic gestures when appropriate

( a note of sympathy, a statement of ( a note of sympathy, a statement of regret, etc)regret, etc)

• Most Importantly: DEAL WITH PEOPLE Most Importantly: DEAL WITH PEOPLE AS HUMAN BEINGS!!!!!AS HUMAN BEINGS!!!!!

Separate the People Separate the People From the ProblemFrom the Problem

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• Basic human needs are powerful Basic human needs are powerful interests! interests!

- security- security

- economic well-being- economic well-being

- sense of belonging- sense of belonging

- recognition- recognition

Focus on Interests, Not Focus on Interests, Not PositionsPositions

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• If you want the other side to If you want the other side to understand your interests, seek to understand your interests, seek to understand theirsunderstand theirs

• Look forward, not backLook forward, not back• Keep the focus on the solutions to Keep the focus on the solutions to

the problem, not whose to blame for the problem, not whose to blame for the problem.the problem.

Focus on Interests, Not Focus on Interests, Not PositionsPositions

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• Be flexible and open to new ideas – in Be flexible and open to new ideas – in regards to solutions.regards to solutions.

• An open mind is not an empty one – An open mind is not an empty one – you have your interests in mind, but you have your interests in mind, but you are not set in your positionyou are not set in your position

• Before the negotiation: think of Before the negotiation: think of several options that would meet you several options that would meet you interestsinterests

• Attack the problem, not the person!!Attack the problem, not the person!!

Focus on Interests, Not Focus on Interests, Not PositionsPositions

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• Think collaborativelyThink collaboratively

• Ways to think about options:Ways to think about options:

- The facts of the problem- The facts of the problem

- What ought to be done to solve the - What ought to be done to solve the problemproblem

- Feasible suggestions for action- Feasible suggestions for action

Invent Options for Invent Options for Mutual GainMutual Gain

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• Look through the eyes of different Look through the eyes of different experts. None of us is as smart as all of experts. None of us is as smart as all of us!!!us!!!

• Place yourself firmly in the shoes of the Place yourself firmly in the shoes of the other side – for each optionother side – for each option

• Try to find something that other person Try to find something that other person has agreed to in the pasthas agreed to in the past

• Consider how implementing the decision Consider how implementing the decision might be difficult for the other sidemight be difficult for the other side

Invent Options for Invent Options for Mutual GainMutual Gain

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• Commit yourself to reaching a Commit yourself to reaching a solution that is based on principle, solution that is based on principle, not pressurenot pressure

• Use standards of fairness, efficiency, Use standards of fairness, efficiency, or scientific meritor scientific merit

• Refer to precedentsRefer to precedents• Look for possible independent Look for possible independent

standards and fair solutionsstandards and fair solutions

Insist on Using Objective Insist on Using Objective

CriteriaCriteria

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• Possible standards:Possible standards:

- professional standards- professional standards

- efficiency- efficiency

- equal treatment- equal treatment

- tradition- tradition

- moral standards- moral standards• NEVER yield to pressureNEVER yield to pressure

Insist on Using Objective Insist on Using Objective

CriteriaCriteria

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• Anger with More Anger… NOT!!!!!!Anger with More Anger… NOT!!!!!!• Talk to Each Other…Not About Each OtherTalk to Each Other…Not About Each Other• Does This Relationship Matter????Does This Relationship Matter????• Improved Conflict Resolution=Improved Improved Conflict Resolution=Improved

Relationships!Relationships!• Excellence in Relations and Customer Excellence in Relations and Customer

Service are important to growth. Service are important to growth. • The experience people have is what they The experience people have is what they

will remember most about the will remember most about the organization. organization.

Final Tid Bits Final Tid Bits

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• Basic “Rules of the Road”Basic “Rules of the Road”

– Effective feedback is about developmentEffective feedback is about development

– Goal is to help people become better. Goal is to help people become better.

– Negative Nellie's and Gloomy Guses have Negative Nellie's and Gloomy Guses have no place in teams!!no place in teams!!

– Have fun with it growing your skills! Have fun with it growing your skills!

Now it’s Your TurnNow it’s Your TurnPractice Makes Better!!!Practice Makes Better!!!

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• Discuss and role play a situation where Discuss and role play a situation where you experienced a conflicted situation. you experienced a conflicted situation. – What were the initial positions taken? What were the initial positions taken? – What emotions were involed? What emotions were involed? – What behavior was exhibited? What behavior was exhibited? – How did you handle that behavior? How did you handle that behavior? – What were the parties interests?What were the parties interests?– What options did you present for mutual What options did you present for mutual

gain? gain? – Were those options difficult for either party?Were those options difficult for either party?– Was the outcome? Was the outcome?

Follow Up Assignment - Follow Up Assignment - Groups of ThreeGroups of Three

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• What did you learn from each others What did you learn from each others experience? experience?

• How did your How did your behaviors/attitudes/positions impact behaviors/attitudes/positions impact your story?your story?

• Now you gotta’ practice!!!Now you gotta’ practice!!!

Decompress!!!Decompress!!!

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• Remember, effective conflict Remember, effective conflict

management and effective customer management and effective customer service ARE NOT mutually exclusive service ARE NOT mutually exclusive events!!! Practice DOES make events!!! Practice DOES make betterbetter

Looking Ahead…Looking Ahead…

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Before the rest, your attitude must pass the test!

Talk the walk and walk the talk, but remember, people will watch how you walk it more than how you talk it!

Remember The Fish Philsophy: ◦ Chose Your Attitude◦ Play ◦ Make Their Day◦ Be Present

Some Final Points! Some Final Points!

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Attachment - NegotiationAttachment - Negotiation(Bill Davis Personal Notes) (Bill Davis Personal Notes)

NEGOTIATIONNEGOTIATION – A Process in which to reach an agreement. A Process in which to reach an agreement.

– Achieve a mutually acceptable solution. Achieve a mutually acceptable solution.

– A satisfying conclusion. A satisfying conclusion.

– An attempt to reconcile what constitutes a good result for you and for the other party. An attempt to reconcile what constitutes a good result for you and for the other party.

– Both sides win something. Both sides win something.

– Preparation, Proposal, Debate, Bargaining and Closing.. Preparation, Proposal, Debate, Bargaining and Closing..

SKILLS NEEDEDSKILLS NEEDED

– Have a wide range of objectives - Be flexible.Have a wide range of objectives - Be flexible.

– Explore possibilities – a wide range of possibilities.Explore possibilities – a wide range of possibilities.

– Prepare well in advance .. Prepare well in advance ..

– Interactive – Listening and QuestioningInteractive – Listening and Questioning

– FlexibilityFlexibility

• Be flexible – a sign of strength now weaknessBe flexible – a sign of strength now weakness

– AdaptabilityAdaptability

– Emotional Intelligence – Read Dynamics Emotional Intelligence – Read Dynamics

– Prioritizing ClearyPrioritizing Cleary

• IdealIdeal

• Realistic targetsRealistic targets

• Minimum Minimum

– Making Adjustments Making Adjustments 29

THANK YOU!THANK YOU!

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