cut 'n paste pro wrestling boozeletter - feb 2008 - scribd exculsive
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HOGANS DITCH UNPOPULAR MEMBER (BETTER AS A TRIO)Things are looking up for the Hogan Clan now that they have released that alcoholic, money spending, gold dig-
ger, Linda. Brooke has moved into her own pad and may join Chyna, John Elway and Heavy D next season on
Dancing with the Stars. Nick's friend John Graciano didn't die so he'll probably walk (Nick, not John). Patriarch
Hulk has a huge hit right now with American Gladiators. Crushing any ratings number WWE has done on NBCthis century.
[1]
That Gold Digger Linda
A fan of the slow build. Linda
stuck it out for nearly a quar-
ter of a century.
FEBRUARY 2008 - Love Issue
100%
Stolen ContentWrestling
Boozeletter
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THE RETURN OF THE AMERICAN
GLAADIATORS BY PAIGE ALBINIAK
On Crush, on Militia, on Hellga and Venom! OnStealth, on Fury, on Titan and Justice! Run up thePyramid, get through the Gauntlet, jostle in the Joust!Do whatever it is you muscle-bound, scantily-cladcreatures do.
In these scripted-starved times, NBC is bringing back"American Gladiators," a syndicated cult classic thataired from 1989 to 1996 and was distributed by MGM.
The show is off to a scandalous start. Like many a
high-profile, low-rent reality series, the participants on"American Gladiators" have plenty of baggage. AlexCastro, whose gladiator name is Militia, has worked asa model under the name Elian Cortez for adult Website, Colt Studios. There, the bodybuilder and his bunsof steel were prominently featured in the 2003 "ButtBeautiful" calendar and on decks of nude playing
cards, among other products. He's also currently featured, under his own name, onMalePerfection.net., cavorting nude on white bed sheets in an explicit video.
Castro's gay profile is apparently not going to affect the show, whose episodes were in the can, so tospeak, before the scandal broke. Phone calls to Castro's representative were not returned.He isn't the only one haunted by scandal on the show. Co-host Hulk Hogan's son, Nick Bollea (Nickbears Hogan's real last name), was arrested and charged with reckless driving with serious bodily in-
jury after crashing during a drag race against a friend, Danny Jacobs. Bollea's passenger, 22-year-oldJohn Graziano, suffered severe brain damage, and Hogan is accused of purchasing alcohol for hisunderage son. Hogan's wife, Linda, has since filed for divorce.
When Hogan tried to discuss the incident with reporters on a December conference call, a NBC pub-licist forbade any personal questions.
But Hogan, 54, is free to discuss the show. "American Gladiators" pits 12 hard-bodied "gladiators"against amateur athletes in all sorts of insane feats of physical prowess.
Hogan will share hosting duties with Laila Ali, the undefeated Super Middleweight Boxing Championof the World and a popular contestant on "Dancing With The Stars." The feats include the Joust, in
which two fighters perched on peaks 10-feet high battle it out until one falls into the water below. Inthe Gauntlet, one man or woman must run 90 feet through a chain of four Gladiators and crashthrough a foam wall at the end. Contenders must also scale the Pyramid while facing two defendingGladiators. The Eliminator is a timed obstacle course in which contenders dive off a high platform,
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swim under a flaming surface, among other tasks. The winner ofthe Eliminator also wins the competition and $100,000.
While both hosts have led athletic careers, neither felt obligated totry their hands at being a gladiator themselves.
"I actually tried the joust, but I was just playing around with one ofthe guys that came to the show for an interview, so it was nothingserious," says Ali, 30. "But it was more challenging than I thoughtit would be. And that is the one event that I thought that I would begood at because it is kind of like fighting but there's a whole lotmore involved there with the balance you need and you got onthis headgear and this giant stick."
"When nobody was around before the first rehearsal day, I was inthere with a couple of the grips and the electricians when theywere just finishing up the big set," says Hogan. "I made an attempt
to climb to the top of the pyramid with my fake knee and my fakehip. And I did get to the top, but I kind of crawled up slowly. Andonce I got to the top, I was sweating like a dog."Ali says she and Hogan both bring their own brands of outspo-kenness to their hosting duties.
"I pretty much just tell it like it is," she says. "I've had the audienceboo me a couple times. There was one competitor, where any-thing that had to do with upper body strength she just didn't dowell on. At one point I told her, you know what? You need to justgo do some push-ups or some pull-ups. And the audience kind ofbooed me. And I said okay, maybe I shouldn't have said that.
"But I just say what I feel at that time in the moment. I never know
what I'm going to say."
[3]
WHOA MAN?
Rumored to be hermapho-
dykes?
Brooke has been teased
about possibly being man,
or at least part man.
Putting her in elite com-
pany with notable Hermoz
R&B Star Sierra and fired
T-Mobile pitchperson Jamie
Lee Curtis. Kind of makes
her topless scene in Trad-
ing Spaces a little more
awesome.
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THE NATURAL? FOUR TIME MR. NATURAL UNIVERSE
T I T A N[4]
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KANE IS ONE OF THOSE CRAZY RON
PAUL PEOPLEThe presidential election, already one of the wildest in history, justgot wilder. With former adult film queen Jameson endorsing Hil-lary Clinton, and wrestling legend Ric Flair endorsing (and cam-paigning for) Mike Huckabee, how much crazier could it get? Nowwe have a new Ron Paul celebrity endorsement.
How about a near-7-feet-tall "monster" and horror movie killer pub-licly declaring his endorsement? Well, just for those who thoughtthey'd seen it all ... hold on, because it only gets better! According toWr estling New s Desk.Com World Wrestling Entertainment's
resident evil delivery boy of Hellfire and Brimstone, "The MonsterKane" has endorsed Ron Paul for President of the United States.
"While he plays a maniacally violent behemoth on television, Kane isactually the very intelligent, politically-active Glenn Jacobs behind the scenes." stated Wrestling NewsDesk editor Matthew Cooper, whose site has been covering Flair's endorsement of Huckabee, and nowKane's endorsement of Paul, "Jacobs is actually very respected in the WWE locker room for having akeen insight into world affairs."In his endorsement, Jacobs stated Over the next year orso, many different people are going to tell you whichpresidential candidate to vote for. Im not qualified to dothat (and, in reality, neither is anyone else), but I wouldlike to explain why I support and am going to vote for
Congressman Ron Paul.If youre like me, youre tired ofunnecessary and exorbitant taxes, youre tired of the dol-lar constantly losing purchasing power, and yourealarmed when politicians demand that we surrender ourconstitutionally protected civil liberties, especially thebedrock principles of habeas corpus and due process, inexchange for security.
If you arent concerned about any of these things, youllhave plenty of choices for President in 2008. If, on theother hand, you would like to see the IRS eliminated andthe income tax ended, a return to sound money and theend of inflation, and a President who takes his oath todefend the Consti tution and the Bill of Rights seriously,
then Dr. Ron Paul is your only choice. Its not just a catchphrase; Ron Paul is Hope for America."
[5]
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L A N C E S T O R M ' S2 0 0 8 W i s h L i s t
Rather than a look back at 2007 I thought I would take alook ahead, and talk about what I would like to see in2008
ROH: I would love to see ROH land some form of regular TVdeal. I just started getting the Fight Network at the tail end oflast year and they air an hour of ROH programming eachweek. The shows appear to just be random DVD match se-lections, but the stuff is great. I also saw my first ROH PPVthis year (Man Up), which was fantastic so the idea of gettingto follow the up to date product and follow the PPV buildwould be tremendous. ROH, for me, is the true WWE Alter-native programming so I wouldlove to see it get a regular up todate TV program. ROH needs tobe exposed to a much biggermarket because their product isvery good.
[6]
Lance Storm knows what's
best for everybody. Pay at-
tention, hippie. For more on
Lance, check out his site at
stormwrestling.com. And be
good. WWLD?
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TNA: Im not going to bother wishing for a booking or announcing change in 2008 becausethat seems to be a futile wish and a subject that has been done to death. What Id most like to
see apart from that in TNA is the return of The Phenomenal AJ Styles. The AJ Styles that Isaw on Impact this week was the biggest idiot loser in this businesss history, and Id like thereturn of the guy that once headlined this company as World Champion. Why anyone wouldtake such a uniquely gifted and talented performer and turn him into the biggest Jack Ass inwrestling history is beyond me. Remember the TNA review show they did on Monday that onetime RAW was pre-empted. They declared the 3-way match with AJ Styles, Christopher Dan-iels, and Samoa Joe the greatest match in TNA history. I want that AJ Styles back actuallyId like that Christopher Daniels and that Samoa Joe back too, but that may be asking toomuch. AJ is now a Jack Ass, Daniels has been fired, and Samoa Joe is now a big whin-erah TNA.
WWE: There are a few things Id like to see in 2008 from WWE, the first being the immediatedropping of the Hornswaggle McMahon angle. I am so completely tired of this angle. It pro-
duced a nice laugh at Vinces expense when it was first revealed and managed to somehowturn Finlay baby face, but I cant see what else this program can produce, apart from a ton ofbad matches and poor ratings. The other thing Id love to see in 2008 is the immediate babyface turn and push of Shelton Benjamin. Benjamin is a lot like AJ Style in that he is a uniquelygifted athlete that can do things no other performer can do. When Sheldon was first moved toRAW and given that brief pushing beating HHH he was amazing, not to mention that awe-some match he had on RAW with HBK. Remember the springboard into the super kick finish?That was awesome. I would also like to see Santino Marella made into a full time manager. Ihave no interest in seeing this guy in matches on a regular basis but Id be more than happyto hear him cut promos every week. Santino is one of the most entertaining promos WWE hasproduced in years, maybe decades, and needs to be a regular part of the show but, as I saidbefore, I have no interest in seeing this guy wrestle.
UFC: Above all else I want to see the end of the string of upsets that plagued UFC in 2007.One or two surprise wins can be good for business but when they happen all the time they domore harm than good. If no one wins consistently and every match is a coin toss, no one be-comes a star, and it is very hard to create big matches for PPV. I know this business is ashoot and UFC has no control over this but this is awish list and that is what I wish for. To start a moreconsistent year Id love to see Brock Lesnar excel inUFC. His UFC debut in February will like be the firstUFC PPV I order and if he can start a dominant winstreak Brock Lesnar could become UFCs next bigthing, and that would make me very happy.
Heres hoping,Lance Storm
[7]
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STAR OF THE MONTH: "CRYBABY"
CHRIS NOWINKSIThis dude travelled to ROH totry to prevent the guys'
brains' turnin' to musch.
They paid him back with a
few unprotected chairshots to
the head. Luckily for Chris, it
was their own heads. Chris
Nowinski, he just thinks he
knows everything.
[8]
DEAD LADIES
NANCY BENOIT PROVES TO
BE CONTROVERSIAL PICK AS
CNP'S SOTM.
The STAR OF THE MONTH
honor is given to a pro-
fessional wrestler creat-
ing a buzz. Nancy making
it into HUSTLER, a main-
stream American magazine,
gave her that honor last
month. Due to the contro-
versy this months deadladies of wrestling picto-
rial has been pulled.
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REBEL UPSTART UWF SCORES TV
DEAL WITH ESPN CLASSICSTwelve years since the passing of it's founder, Mr. Herb Abrams, the UWF
has done what ROH can't. Score a television deal. Burn. The following is
an interview with Al Burke, owner of the UWF Library.
Tell me how you first came to meet Herb Abrams. When did
you first work for him? I know you worked a 1993 television
taping in Minot, ND as Mr. Outrageous, and the 1994 "Black-
jack Brawl" card in Las Vegas, NV as Dr. Feelgood.
Burke: I met with Herb Abrams in his Malibu office in March 1993
where I was hired to work in that office and wrestle on future
shows. Minot was the first time wrestling for the UWF.
Were you associated with the company when they planned to
relaunch just prior to Herb's death in 1996?
Burke: Yes.
[9]
B. Brian Blair, Dr. Death Steve
Williams and Don Muraco are
among the notable stars of
this awesome promotion
that's just now hitting it's
peak, twelve years aftershutting down.
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How did you come to possess the UWF tape library and Tag Team Championship belt? Do you
have any other UWF memorabilia?
Burke: Herb left for New York in December 1994 to take care of his sick mother, leaving me in chargeof all west coast operations. In a letter dated January 2, 1995, Herb Abrams gave me full control of the
UWF in his absence. I dont think Herb realized he would never return. A letter dated November 19,
1995 gave me the rights to use the UWF Tag Belt for charities and in my acting career for which I am
depicting or portraying a wrestler. As far as memorabilia, I have some old photos of Herb, Herbs
Popeye collection, some T-shirts, posters and flyers from Blackjack Brawl which I also helped promote.
Do you have an episode guide of the weekly series "Fury Hour", or know exactly how many epi-
sodes of the show were produced? Todd Okerlund told me there is roughly 60 hours of footage,
including the "Beach Brawl" pay-per-view and "Blackjack Brawl" special.
Burke: I have given Todd Okerlund all the footage of UWF in NTSC format. No episode guide for
Fury Hour. My library inventory shows 69 episodes of Fury Hour, but Mr. Abrams had remixed someof the same episodes to increase the size of the UWF library. That is one of the many games that Herb
Abrams was famous for.
Besides licensing the tape library through Classic Wrestling, what else do you plan on doing with
the UWF footage? Any chance of a DVD compilation?
Burke: That is something Todd and I have yet to decide, but we have been talking about it. At this time
no. Maybe in a couple of years it will go to DVD in the stores.
Have any other parties shown interest in buying the tape library?
Burke: Some negotiations are ongoing.
Do you keep track of foreign licensing of UWF footage? I've seen several DVD compilations ap-
pear in recent years (Germany and Australia) that feature UWF footage. Are those authorized by
you? Zoogz Rift told me that in his travels with Herb Abrams in 1993-1994, they sold distribution
rights to several foreign companies.
Burke: Todd Okerlund and I have discussed that and none of those were authorized by me. Zoogz went
to Malaysia with Herb while I ran the office with Marty Cohen at the time.One more foreign deal was
made after the trip to Malaysia by Herb and myself. Zoogz left the UWF for many reasons including
money owed to him before the trip to Las Vegas. I was then promoted to second in command upon the
resignation of Zoogz. FYI The MGM Grand was also owed money (lots of money) by Herb. That is
another story for The Life and Times of Herb Abrams!.
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What are your most distinct memories of Herb Abrams and your time working for his promo-
tion?
Burke: Hawaii with Herb, a hooker and Steve Williams before Herbs death. Tour of Israel with Herb
I dont know how we made it out of that country alive.
I recently watched "Blackjack Brawl" and there was a man named Carlo Gianelli doing play-by-
play on the live broadcast. Do you know who he was?
Burke: I dont know where Herb came up with this guy.
I've read that the checks Mick Foley and Missy Hyatt received for their work at "Blackjack
Brawl" later bounced. Were you paid for your work that night?
Burke: I was finally paid for that night, but it took 6 months to get it. I think the only reason I was paid
is because I was working so closely with Herb and knew MANY secrets.
How would you like the UWF promotion to be re-
membered?
Burke: Herb Abrams was a character to say the least.
The UWF should be remembered for all of the crazi-
ness that Herb brought to the promotion. The UWF
could have been so much more if it wasnt for the drug
problems of Herb Abrams. Now, I am making sure that
all deals are fair, reasonable and always above board
with Todd Okerlund and anyone that works with my-
self and the Universal Wrestling Federation (UWF).
The UWF "won" the following Wrestling ObserverAwards:
1990 - Worst Television Announcer (HerbAbrams)1991 - Worst Promotion (UWF)1991 - Worst Television Show (Fury Hour)1994 - Worst Major Wrestling Card (Blackjack
Brawl)
[11]
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SUNDAY NIGHT FINALLY HAS A DECENT LIVE CALL IN WRESTLING INTERNET AUDIOSHOW
www.blogtalkradio.com/k4d
[12]
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This page intentionally left blank as tribute to all the fallen wrestlers both living and dead wemake fun of each month.
Just kidding, it's a list of current WWE Superstars that have employer provided healthcarebenefits.
Nah, it's a picture from WWE.COM of the winner of the 2004 Royal Rumble.
[13]
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Supposed "Next Big Thing" BOBBY LASHLEY Pulls a BROCK and quits WWE via his
web-forum message board.
From pwinsider.com
"Circumstances, which are out of mycontrol left me no decision but to
leave the WWE. I can't go into de-
tails of this now but like I said be-
fore, sometimes people will hate
you personally and try to destroy
you, which has happened here. Evil has
prevailed. However like I said before, if you
continue your struggle, doors will open
around these people. You have notseen the last of me, so please don't
stop your support. Add Bobby
Lashley to the list of RECENTLY RE-
LEASED!"-BOBBY LASHLEY HIMSELF ON HIS
MESSAGE BOARD. How smarky is that?
[14]
Chick to blame?
Is the reason Lashley
won't return his reallife soulmate Kristyl
(Teddy Long's disappeared
soul mate on screen).
This wouldn't be the
first time some woman de-
rails a guys wrestling/
rock star career.
LASHLEY THRU THE AGES 2005 2006 2007 2008
Makes his
Smackdown de-
but. Suckscharisma out
of every seg-
ment he was
in. Makes
Simon Dean
eat 20 ham-
burgers at No
Mercy.
Becomes
second guy
to breakthe Master
Lock and
ruins
Chris Mas-
ter's Ca-
reer
Beat Mark
Henry in a
fake armwrestling
match. Head-
lined Mania
and shaved
Vince's head.
Quits his job
because of his
woman. Gonnaget rich in UFC.
Or get drafted
back into the
Army to fight in
IRAN.
USA USA USA
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Former ECW champion Bobby Lashley,
who was expected to return from his
injuries this month, has parted ways
with World Wrestling Entertainment,
according to Lashley's official website.
Lashley, who debuted with the Smack-
down brand in 2005, moved to the ECW
brand in December 2006 with the idea
that the brand would be built around
him. He received a huge promotional
push and won the ECW belt at the De-
cember to Dismember PPV.
WWE's push continued featuring Lash-
ley going right into a Wrestlemania 23
headline match against Umaga with
Donald Trump and Vince McMahon as
their respective seconds which was
promoted heavily to the media due to
Trump's involvement and the hair vs.
hair stipulation that saw McMahon
shaved bald in the center of the ring.
The Wrestlemania match led to a feudwith McMahon where Lashley lost and
regained the ECW title. Lashley was
drafted to the Raw brand in June 2007
and vacated the ECW belt. He had been
out of the ring since last July, when he
finally took time off to have surgery
and rehab rotator cuff and shoulder
problems that had been nagging him for
several months.
On the forum of his official website,
www.BobbyLashleyOnline.com, Lashley
commented, "Circumstances, which are
out of my control left me no decision
but to leave the WWE. I can't go into de-
tails of this now but like I said before,
sometimes people will hate you person-
ally and try to destroy you, which has
happened here. Evil has prevailed.
However like I said before, if you con-
tinue your struggle, doors will open
around these people. You have not seen
the last of me, so please don't stop your
support. Add Bobby Lashley to the list
of RECENTLY RELEASED!"
Lashley, a former amateur champion
who also served in the Army, originally
signed with the company in 2003 and
spent time in Ohio Valley Wrestling be-
fore being brought up to the main ros-
ter.
Lashley teased a potential MMA inter-
est on 1/16, writing, "I am not sure
what I will be doing the next few
months. I said I am in fighting shape
because if I am not wrestling, I will be
fighting. Wrestling is my passion but
sometimes things are out of your con-
trol. The time off I've had was well
needed and was not in vain. I had sur-
gery in August, which was pretty seri-
ous. I had to have 5 connectors put in
my shoulder to repair my torn labrum.
I was slated to be out for 6 months but I
think that diagnosis was for an average
person. Im ready for action and I have
been for some time now. Whatever ac-
tion that may be, I will be ready."
snatched from pwspyware.com
[15]
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WWE CRACKS DOWN ON THE
REEFER MADNESSApparently WWE is sick of it's independent contrac-
tors smoking the sweet chronic. Luckily for the super-
stars, the Man will only test for God's Plant once a year.
Test failures will result in a $1000 fine.
Given the state of the US Dollar, 100% of WEED
Smokers Polled by Cut 'n Paste would easily pay a grand
a year to smoke out.
Maybe even two
grand.
Marijuana kills zero people per year and brings joy to countless
millions.
MIDNIGHT TOKERS
Some people call me space
cowboy. Some call me the
gangster of love. One
dude calls me Maurice.
EVERYBODYLOVESTERRY.COM
Proud AA Sponsor of Cut 'n Paste Wrestling Boozeletter.
Proud to host the Parasite CnP Forums
Proud Distributor of CnP
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WRITE US at [email protected] ads available to non-douches
edited by Rip Oliver
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EVERYBODYLOVESTERRY.COMThe online "home" to Cut 'n Paste Boozeletter is not as cool as RVD's site.
This week, Van Dam launched RVD TV, an online re-
ality show that is exclusive to members of his Web
site (robvandam.com).
One thing that has always set Van Dam apart from hispeers is that he is such a free spirit, and thats whatmakes him fun to watch on RVD TV.
In the first episode, Poolside with RVD, Van Damtakes viewers through his elaborate stretching routineand discusses the Yin and Yang which has nothingto do with Jimmy Wang Yang, by the way and howto achieve inner peace.
RVD comes off as a cross between Diamond DallasPages motivational speaker character and SonjayDutts Guru persona only much cooler. Actually, Van Dam, hanging out at his pool and justbeing himself which includes the usage of four-letter words on occasion shows a naturalcharisma that didnt always come across when he was delivering scripted promos in WWE.
The second offering was an episode of Friends in High Places. In these segments, RVD andhis pals tackle a specific topic in a conversation that he says is un-researched, unrehearsedand unscheduled.
This weeks topic was gun control, and RVDs guests were former WWE star Chris Mastersand UFCs Justin McCully. As an intellectual discussion, this wasnt exactly Meet the Press,but it was a lot more entertaining. Its also pretty obvious how this segment got its title.Watching McCully state his opinions on gun control reminded me of Spicoli talking about U.S.history. The only thing missing was a double cheese and sausage pizza.
Next month in Cut 'n Paste Wres-
tling Boozletter:
AN OBITUARY OVER WHICH-
EVER LEGEND dies next month.
We learn how to take a punch.
In honor of RVD and Sabu getting
busted, we'll teach you how to get
pulled over by the fuzz while
smoking weed and walk.
The MARCH Star of the Month is
a junkie.
And much much much muchmuch more.
CUTNPASTE
DISTRIBUTE FREELYInformation, by it's nature is
meant to be free.