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    Edinburgh

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    Princes Street

    George Street

    Queen Street

    GrassmarketCowgate

    York Place

    Johnston TCE

    Edinburgh Castle

    ScottsMonument

    St.Andrew SQharlotte SQ

    Castle

    Street

    HanoverStreet

    Frederick

    St

    George

    IV

    Bridge

    Royal Mile

    North

    Bridge

    Sotuh

    Bridge

    Carnival

    Lothia

    nRoad

    Rose Street

    Edinburgh

    City Centre

    Itineraries 1

    CONTENT

    Were are having a barrie time 10Eating and Whisky and more

    Whats on tonite? clubs and cinema and more

    History and Culture 26galleries and tartan and more

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    Edinburgh is the most desirable city to live in theUK. At least, according to a 2009 YouGov poll.Edinburgh came out top for its atmosphere and

    positive reputation.We, the authors of this guide, can approve theseresults.Auld Reekie is indeed a wonderful place to visit.Theres the Castle, the Scott Monument, ArthursSeat ... yes, we talk about them, too. But beyondthose mainstream sights we leave the trampledtourist paths and try to create an alternative gui-de to Scotlands capital.

    If you only have one or two days to stay ouritineraries will help you spend them efciently.Edinburgh is a rather pricy town, in general. Butthe are spots which offer cheap food, clothing orother items. Your wallet will thank you for takingour advice. Then, of course, theres the whisky.You cant leave Scotland without having tasted thebest brands. Luckily, we have sorted out the thebad ones, so that you dont have to.

    Finally, youll encounter people, attractions andstories you wont nd in any other tourist gui-de. For Edinburgh in all its grandeur is yet to bediscovered.

    you Cit Travl Rw Team

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    Itineraries

    n the following (text) we would like to suggest you threeotally different options how to spend your days in char-

    ming Edinburgh in the most efcient, yet affordable way.

    t is up to you to choose between: a very touristy andherefore historic, massive and impressive day a ratherlternative, picturesque and unique day or a pretty artis-ic, educating and entertaining day. However, in the end

    t needs to be said that as different as they might seem each day in some way includes all the above mentioneddjectives.

    n Scotlands variednd inspiring Capital

    Edinburgh - creativitynd individuality is

    written in rather bigetters. Maybe that iswhy became knownfor famous writers(like Sir Walter Scottnd Robert Louis

    Stevenson), artists,philosophers (like DavidHume), scientists andconomics (like Adam

    Smith).

    Exploring EdinburghsOld and New Townncludes a lot of walking.But thanks to closes, wynds and signicantistoric buildings a walk is not just a walk

    t is rather an experience and discovery. Youoon feel at home and protected in this friendly

    nd curious area. However, public transportations more than unnecessary to discover this place,which seems to be neither a town nor a city but this exactly is what creates Edinburghsnique character. Although it kept its small,amiliar air and although this is the placewhere all the traditional, tiny specialized shopsnd their chatty salesperson still exist, it offersverything a humans city heart might desire as

    well.

    t is now your time to be an explorer and toiscover Edinburgh on your own, inspired byur itineraries.

    Have fun!

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    AvisittoEdinburghinscribedasaWorld

    HeritageSitebyUNESCOin1995would

    notbecompleteifyouhavenotactivelyvisi-

    ted,experiencedandabsorbedth

    etreasure

    chestofhistoricgemswithallyoursenses

    thatareatyourdisposal:theRoyalMile.

    ThemosttypicaltouristyareaofEdinburgh.

    Yesalthoughwewouldliketoprovideyou

    withthemostalternativeandanti-touristy

    tipsandplacesEdinburghhastooffer,we

    alsofeeltheneedtoofferyouthechanceto

    experienceEdinburghshistoricOldTown,

    andwithititsindispensabletouristyattrac-

    tions.

    Youmightwanttobeawareofthefact

    thattodaysurelyeveryonewillnotice

    thatyouareatourist,whichisnoshameatall.Notthatsurprisingthat

    mostofthe

    peopleyouaregoingtoseeonyourroute

    todayaretourists,too.Sothereisno

    needtohidetodayisYOURdayto

    freethetouristinyouYOURdayto

    exploreonesouvenirshopafterthe

    otherandYOURdaytostunningly stopandstarewithyour

    head

    t thrownbacksotoseethisimpressive

    buildinginfrontofyou.

    TouristyItinerary

    2

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    To start this extraordinary day you climb up the four oors of the ScottsMonument, which is situated in the heart of Princes Street. Hopefully itis a sunny day so that you have a clear overallview of Edinburgh in its fullpride the Monuments four different viewpoints serve you with exclusiveand accurate windy views to the North Sea, up Princes Street, down PrincesStreet with Carlton Hill & the Balmoral Hotels Big Ben like clock in thebackground, and of course an excellent view of the Old Town and its Castle.Due to the fact that there are two other excellent viewpoints like CarltonHill and Arthurs Seat which are, by the way, for free you might notwant to spend 3 on Scotts Monument. Nevertheless it is higly recommen-

    ded, unless you are either afraid of heights, fat or claustrophobic. However,if you like cosy, dark spiral stair cases that lead you up the way and forceyou to squeeze yourself past the descending strangers it is worth theunique view.

    Aftergettingtherstimpressionofthedayfromaboveyouneedtoheadto

    theRoyalMileapproximatelyamilelong,partlystillprettyroyalandthe

    oneandonlypedestrianzoneinEdinburgh.Forthoseofyouwhoareinto

    tartans,scottishscarves,Kilts,ShortbreadorotherScottishspecialities-

    usedbytouristassouvenirsforthelovedoneswhostayedathome:thisis

    paradise-includinghighclasscashmereshopsaswellasaffordableshopsto

    buyordinarytouristythings.Fortherestofyouitmightbesatisfyingenoughtogoinoneofthestores,

    guessabouttheother ssupplyandmoveontofullltheirtaskasaproper

    tourist.ThereforeyoupasstheHeartofMidlothian toyour left, right in

    frontoftheChurchandspitrightinthemiddleofit.Indeed,thisprobablyis

    theonlyplaceinScotlandwhereyouareaskedtospitinpublic.

    Afterwardsthenextattractionwaitsjustaroundthecornera

    donkeyridingahorseactuallythisisthestatueofanadmiral,

    butunfortunatelythereweremadesomearchitecticalmistakes

    inthepastsothatitnowlooksabitdisplacedandisbanished

    inbetweenlotsofparkingspots.

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    As you are already next to the Church it is worth paying attention to

    it and to go in for a few minutes and hopefully on a sunny day towatch the reections of the imressive stained glass windows.However, the most important information about the Royal Mile is thatit connects the Edinburgh Castle in the North with the Holyrood Pa-lace and the new, controversial Scotish Parliament in the South.Surely, there are some people who like to see the castle from inside who like to see the room where Mary, Queen of Scots gave birth toher son James, the future King of Scotland and England who like tosee the Stone of Destiny as well as the Scottish Crown Jewels, calledthe Honours of Scotland,. Nevertheless this takes about 2 hours, sothat probably some of you are satised with a picture of each on ayer and spend their time in a maybe more fun and exciting place the Camera Obscura right below the Castle.

    As the touristy daymovesonyouwill surely feel theneed toget something toeat.

    Unsurprisingly,theRoyalMileoffersyouawidevarietyofplacestohavelunch,coffee,

    innerandofcoursebeerorwhisky.Sotherearelotsoftraditionalpubs,inexpensive

    ndlessknownaswellassmallersandwichshopsofferinggoodfood,young-peoplefo-

    usedcoffeeshops,whichofferyousoups-of-the-day,aswellasmaintreamshopslike

    tarbucksandSubway.Allinallyouindeedhavemorethanoneoptiontospendyour

    nchbreak.However,asweareonourtouristicrouteitsappropriatetohaveapropper

    cottishHaggiswithNeepsandTattiesinoneofthelocalpubs.Cheaper,butstilltypi-

    l,ishavingfastfoodlaScotland:deepfriedFish&Chips.

    After having lunch it is time to take a walk to the graveyard. Why go to a graveyard?, you mightwonder. But this is not just any graveyard. It is THE graveyard. The graveyard where you cannd the most haunted Mausoleum in Edinburgh and even more important: the graveyardincluding Greyfriar Bobbys Grave! The grave itself is worshipped with a few pale-coloured

    plastic owers and rain-soaked cuddle toys. You might not have heard of Bobby, theTerrier who, after the death of his owner, used to come to his grave for the rest of his

    live, 14 years, to still take care of him. Just around the corner Edinburgh dedicatedBobby a statue, which now ist the most photographed statue in Edinburgh sofeel free to unpack you camera and take the 100.000th Bobby-picture to update

    your photogallery.4

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    Regardless of any age, you surely have heard of J.K.Rowling, the author of Harry

    Potter. If you go down Southbridge it is hard to miss the red building to your left,called: The Elephant House, which is the place where Rowling got inspired to writeher stories about young Wizards attending school in an old, mysterious Castle calledHogwarts. That is why this Caf is also called The birthplace of Harry Potter.Hopefully this sounds interesting enough to you to go in. You might wonder why ele-phants inspired todays second richest woman in Scotland (on a list right below theQueen) to write such an anti-elephanitc story. That is because it was not the cafes still present - elephants that inspired her, but the unique, undisturbed and incredibleviewpoint of the Castle, situated on the remnants of a volcano formed 340 milllionyears ago. This looks impressively dangerous but still secure, with the graveyard in

    front of it leading the observers view up the hill.Afterthisimpressivebreak it ishardtobesurprisedbyanything morepicturesque. Nevertheless youshouldgiveita tryandtherefore visit theNationalGallery ofScotland, whichis onPrincesStreet neartheScottsMonument.Dependingonhow interestedyouarein Scotlandspretigiousnational collection,includingEuropean art fromthe16thuntil19th centuriesand earlyItalian andDutchpaintingsupto1530, thistourtakesfromhalfanhourto2hours.Ifyourfeetalreadyhurtandyoufeel the needtosit downyou canalsouse theIT-Galleryandex-plorethecollectionsusinganew, modernandinnovativetouch-screencomputer.

    Stepping out of the

    Gallerys buildingyou

    will literaryly fall out

    into the German

    Christmas marke

    t,

    which welcomes you

    with a hot,warming

    Glhwein,Crepes,cho-

    colate-glaced applesor marzipan

    balls and

    grilled potatoes just

    as a goodchristmas

    shoulddo.Feelfreeto

    satisfythechild inyou

    with a ride on one of

    thehorsesoftheMary-

    Go-Roundorconquer

    yourfear

    -of-hights

    ina

    ride

    inthe

    Ferris

    wheel.

    The chances of taking your tourist tour on a Tuesday are approximately 1 to7. If it is a Tuesday, you should end the day with a Ceileidh Dance Courseat Grass Market, accompanied by live Folkmusic (including a Fiddle, Drumsand surely an Accordeon) This is an introduction into the Scottish Folkdance,mostly attended by groups, couples, friends, singles and above all tourists aswell as locals. Especially if you forgot to bring a partner along with you, theold, renovated church crowded with people of the average age of 23 might -in the beginning - rather evokes the impression of a SingleMarket or Speeddating. However, there are lots of group dances that get even the stiffest andmost moody person to laugh, dance, clap their hands, be happy and forgetall their doubts of dancing in front of strangers because actually you dancewith them. Moreover it is not the normal, traditional standard dance or discodance which you might imagine, it is much more a running, interaction andcircling each other around, with the purpose to shout out loud full of happi-ness and to have a jolly-good time. And beyond any doubt: it is hardly thateasy to laugh and have a good time with a lot of open-minded people in agood mood. And if you still not feel the need to dance you can also just sitdown, have a beer, watch from the rst oor and reect the day. GT

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    Start your day with a typical Scottish breakfast whichusualy includes toast, an egg, sausage, beans and black

    pudding (just so that it is not mistaken with tasty chocola-te pudding - better described as: blood-sausage). Mostlyit is called (among tourists): Hangover-Breakfast. Thefact that the Scotsman likes to eat this kind of breakfastquite often, leaves no doubt why Scotland is the the num-ber one on the list of the country with the highest rate ofheart-attacks.

    A pretty good place to have breakfast would be The Mit-

    re, which is a huge pub on Royal Mile, where breakfaststarts at 4,50. But there are several other places to gettraditional breakfast on the Royal Mile as well, such as

    The Crag and Tail. This is a more modern, plain styledrestaurant where breakfast starts at 5,95.

    After having such a lling breakfast it is a good idea togo for a nice walk, which leads you down Royal Mile,along the new Scottish Parliament, established in2001, and the Holyrood Palace, opposite to it. Yourwalk takes you further to Arthurs Seat the hillwhich is so close to town but whose nature still preser-ves such a lovely, mystical and magical atmosphere asif wandering around the Hobbits Landscape.The further you go the longer, steeper and more ex-hausting gets the hill but keeping in mind the rewardof the view you are going to get it is absolutely worth

    the effort.After this succesful hike you are allowed to proudlyrest on top of Arthurs Seat and to take a few or ma-ybe a lot of pictures.

    Alternative ItineraryThis is the day to enjoy breathtaking views and towalk the hidden path in order to explore unique

    places.

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    As usually going down a hill is much easier and faster,you soon arrive at the end of Royal Mile again. Do youhave the avour of warm, creamy and homemade

    soup, tasty like your mother used to cook it for you, inmind? This means it is time to head to delightful Hulaat Grassmarket. In a warm, orange-toned atmospherethey welcome you with warming, homemade food suchas bagels or soups. For the ones who instead feel theneed to be spoilt with a hot chocolate or a strong whis-key, the Grassmarket offers a variety of inexpensive,cosy pubs.

    You might have already noticed that Grassmarketlooks a bit different compared to all the other placesEdinburgh offered you so far. Congratulations! You justdiscovered one of Scotlands most exciting and uniquearea. Surrounded by Victoria Street (once Edinburghsmost illegal area), Cowgate and Candlemaker Row andits well preserved architecture from 1700, this arealeaves you stunned by an occasionally creepy, weirdand alternative selection of shops. Here, in he heartof the Old Town, vintage shops (like Armstrong, havingcelebrity fans like Kaiser Chiefs and Franz Ferdinand)are nestled next to joke shops, exclusive Scottish de-sign shops, gothic and corset as well as hat specialists,

    trendy shops as well as old-fashioned or science ctionoriented book stores and comic stores.

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    To move on with this impressive day, a visit to the DeanGallery or the Gallery of Modern Art right next to itwould be appropriate. Despite the Galleries themselves,which are on Belford Road, the walk to get there is prettyamazing, too. First of all you get a pretty good impressionof Edinburghs less touristy area and maybe get inspired

    by some cafs or pubs you pass. Secondly, walking alongfeels like being one of the students you pass on your way going home to your cosy apartment on the third oorwith its beautiful view of the park right behind the house.Why not fantasise how the at right below the roof of thehouse with these many, lovely chimneys looks like. Howwould it be to live in there?

    It is now time to lay back entirely relaxed and carefreewhile nipping on a warming cup of hot chocolate.Urbanangel Caf offers everyone his own private space-whether you want to read, chat or just have a second onyour own to feel like an angel - in a modern, clean andsober, yet lovely heartwarming atmosphere. Not to forget,that this is the place to get the best chocolate brownies in

    town.

    To end this day you could attend a pubquiz, which is prettyfamous among the local people and is usually held by dif-ferent pubs on a xed day of the week. On Mondays forinstance The Bailies is full of young, curious locals who

    hope to be able to answer the quizmasters questions onanything - from celebrities to politics and geography, whileenjoying good company and a few beers. Surely you some-times just have to guess the answer, therefore you can getextrapoints for extraordinarily funny answers. Feel free soshout and cheer like a real Scotsman! GT

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    Art Galleriesin the Dundas Street

    Start your day with severalsmall and different art coll-ections, all side by side.

    Mc NaughtonsBook Shop

    on Leith Walk

    Find some old beautifulbooks here - for 2nd Handprices!

    Calton HillEnjoy the view and relax.

    Filmhouseon Lothian RoadGo for a lm in this uniqueindependent cinema.

    The Boweryon Roxborrow Place

    Listen to live music andhave a beer in the evening.

    hesho

    rt-artyI

    tinera

    ry

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    PUB

    Werehavingabarrietime!

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    cotlands cuisine is not really known as a gourmets cuisine. Due to limited sun-hine and a lot of wind and rain during the year there is not a wide range of nativeroducts growing naturally in Scotland. Root crops such as carrots or potatoes arelentiful whereas fruits and other types of vegetables are largely imported fromountries with a warmer climate. After having spent three weeks in Scotland justating traditional food you may put on some weight. Nevertheless, some Scottishood is better than its reputation.

    What Scotsmen eat for breakfastScots dont shirk breakfast. Traditional breakfast includes, of course, por-ridge. This mixture of oats and water can be delicious if you are a fan ofgruel. In fact, porridge was the main diet for generations of Scots in formertimes. Traditionalists of the older generation swear that the only way to eatit is just with water and a dash of salt. Nowadays, it is mostly mixed withcream, fruit, butter or even whisky to give it a hint of the exotic. People visit-ing Scotland for the rst time are generally amazed by cooked breakfast butit is not popular with everyone.If you enjoy a traditional breakfast you have to make your way through themixture of egg, sausage, bacon, chips, toast, mushrooms, baked beans and

    black pudding. In contrast to this, if you are into common continental break-fast you will also nd this anywhere.

    What to eat for a quick lunchAfter having a rich breakfast you may not feellike having lunch. Nevertheless, if you are inthe mood of eating further there are a lot ofnice pubs and restaurants to pop in. Lunchtends to be taken quickly or on the hop. For

    lunch people mainly have a snack like a soup,a pie or a sandwich.

    Going out for dinnerBeing surrounded by so many deep oceans, shstill make up an important part of the Scottishfood. In Scotland they have a variety of excellentnative sh, such as smoked salmon, herring andhaddock. Venison and deer are popular with gour-mets too. Available all year, venison has a strong,distinctive taste. There is plenty of wild game tochoose from, such as rabbit, duck, partridge orpigeon. People focus much more on dinner than onlunch as dinner is the actual main meal of the day.

    Eating and drinking in

    the land of the brave

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    If you visit Edinburgh trythese typical Scottish dishes:

    Haggis with tatties and neeps:Haggis is Scotlands national dish. It evencomes up rst in peoples minds when

    they think about Scotland. In the distantpast when times were hard, haggis was acreative way of using up what is left over.It is offal with oats, spices, and pepper.Ingredients are stuffed into a sheeps sto-mach to be baked and served up with tat-ties and neeps. Despite the fact that thisall sounds awful, haggis is surprisinglytasty. As Scottish people more and morehave become vegetarians they have in-vented vegetarian Haggis. It is a popular

    alternative to the old blood and guts way.

    Pies:Pies are simply pieces of meat in gravy encasedwith crusty pastry. These pies are lled withminced meat and onions. Often, the meat isreplaced by innards. According to the traditi-on mutton meat is used but nowadays beef ismore commonly used. There are different typesof pies, such as sh pie, chicken pie, mince pieor steak pie.

    Fish and chips:Fish and chips is a popular take-away food

    in Scotland therefore you denitely haveto try it once. It consists of deep-fried sh(traditionally cod, haddock or ounder)in batter or bread crumbs with deep-friedchipped potatoes.

    Scottish dessert:It seems that Scottish people have a sweettooth because there are a lot of delicious but

    extremely sweet desserts. The most famousone is probably fudge, a small toffee bar si-milar to caramel, mainly made of sugar andbutter. After a visit in the Fudge House you geta sugar shock for sure! If you are into sweetstaff you will be satised with having somecheesecake, Dundee cake, shortbread or dou-ghnut... there is enough for everyone.

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    After strolling around Edinburgh in search of nice places toappease ones appetite or hunger here are some sugges-tions of locations to go to:

    Halfway House (Pub)

    24 Fleshmarket Close,Edinburgh, EH1 1BXThe smallest pub in Edinburgh, winnerof the award for pub of the year 2009,hidden in the heart of Edinburghs OldTown, tiny but warmly welcoming you,they specialise in ales/beers.

    Jekyll & Hide Pub (Pub)

    112 Hanover StreetEdinburgh, Midlothian EH2 1DRA bit dark but pretty individual place,toilets are hidden behind a bookcase,unique character, chatty and delight-ful staff, regular comedy nights.

    Lalba Doro (Fishnchips)

    5-7 Henderson Row, New TownEdinburgh, EH3 5DH

    Probably best chippy in Edinburgh,take-away and delivery.

    Crag and Tail (Restaurant)503 Lawnmarket, Royal Mile,Edinburgh, EH1 2PHSmall but modern, friendly internati-onal staff, offer typical Scottish food,good place to enjoy rich Scottishbreakfast but also a place to be in theevenings.

    Gourmet Burger Kitchen (Restaurant)137 George Street EH2 4JYBritish and Irish franchise but tasty burgers atreasonable prices, huge portions, also offersexotic burgers (e.g. Avocado burger, Jamaicanburger), contemporary interior design, loungemusic, nice alternative to pubs and touristyplaces for business people as well as students.

    Wannaburger (Restaurant)217 High StreetEdinburgh, EH1 1PEAt rst glance it seems to be a mainstreamfast food restaurant but it is probably oneof the best places to enjoy a big deliciousburger in Edinburgh, very friendly staff,easy-going and young atmosphere.

    Susies Wholefood Diner (Vegetari-an restaurant)51 West Nicolson Street, NewingtonEdinburgh EH8 9DBSpecialises in organic vegetarian meals,relaxed atmosphere, chilled out staff,students area, ideal for low budget.

    Black Medicine Coffee Co.

    2 Nicolson Street Edinburgh, EH8 8DHCosy and casual atmosphere, non conventi-onal place, meeting point for young peopleand students, friendly staff, independent pri-vate run coffee shop, wide range of teas andfresh smoothies, broad range of food rangingfrom chocolate fudge cake and cookies to cia-batta melts and soups.

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    The Underground Caf (coffee)34 Elder StreetEdinburgh, EH1 3DX

    Small venue but cosy and friendly place,ideal for having a chat and get somecoffee, tea or snack.

    The Kenilworth (Pub)152-154 Rose StreetEdinburgh, EH2 3JD, United KingdomWelcoming atmosphere, cosy seats,friendly staff, huge portions,delicious meals, also reasonably pricedtypical Scottish breakfast.

    Biddy Mulligans (Pub)96 Grassmarket Edinburgh, EH1 2JROld-fashioned style, very rustic andScottish, ideal for typical Pub feelingwhen enjoying a beer. Delicious andreasonably priced meals for lunch, e.g.soup with bread, a place where you ndlocals

    Royal Mile Tavern (Pub)127 High Street Edinburgh EH1 1SGDiscounts for backpackers who arestaying in a hostel, lovely staff, friendlywarmly welcoming atmosphere, youngpeoples meeting point, live music play-ing current rock songs, nice place fordrinking a beer with a good friend

    Bannermans (Pub)212 Cowgate/Niddry Street Edinburgh,

    EH1 1NQHistoric pub, a bit hidden below South Bridge, mee-ting point for students and backpackers, sometimescrowded but very lively, live new alternative music

    (Folk, Rock, Indie, Punk, Metal), Karaoke, studentdiscounts, not a place to go for just a quiet drink, itis a place to get drunk and get to know new people.

    The Canny Man (Pub)237 Morning Side RoadEH10 4 QUOutside the city centre but worth going there,alternative style, individual pub full of nooks,staffed with antique and junk, pub with the

    widest range of whiskies in the city, famousfor delicious food, if they dont want you toenter you wont enter.

    UR

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    angus beef Gourmet beef from Scottish Angus cow

    banger and mash sausage with mashed potatoes

    bashed neeps mashed beetroot/turnipblack pudding blood sausage

    cock-a-leekie chicken soup with leek

    cullen skink sh soup with smoked sh

    haggis sheep stomach lled with sheeps innards, oat and onions

    ham & haddy smoked haddock topped with ham and cheese

    hugga-muggie sh-haggis served in sh stomach

    kipper hot smoked bloater/red herring

    mince minced meat with onions and gravy

    scotch broth vegetable soup with grain from pearl barley

    stovies pure from potatoes and onions

    white pudding fried or roasted white sausage, sometimes for vegetarians

    bannock at oat bread either sweet or spicy

    black bun traditional fruit cake for Hogmanay (= New Years Eve)clootie dumpling typical Christmas cake with raisins and cinnamon

    fudge soft butter toffee

    scone little sweet cake made of our and butter

    (cheese) oatcake cookie made of oat (with cheese)

    shortbread biscuits made of short pastry with a lot of butter; butter coo-kies

    chippy sh and chipsporridge boiled oats with water/milk

    turnips type of vegetable, a root

    dundee cake extremely sweet and heavy cake

    gaelic coffee Irish coffee with scotch whisky

    hotch potch soup with lamb and vegetables

    neeps beetroot/turnip

    pie lled ptvenison meat from deer

    tatties potatoes

    toddy whisky with hot water and sugar (when someones got a cold)

    Well, if you are hungry right now after reading all this staff about food andmeals in Scotland there is just one thing to be recommended to you: have alook at the following table as it might help you to nd your way through theScottish gourmet jungle:

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    You have never drunk whisky? Whatwould be a visit to Scotland without ha-ving tasted a nice glass of whisky?

    Well, you probably know Jack Daniels mixedwith Coke, but guys, this is not what we aretalking about here! True whisky is produ-ced where men wear kilts, where cows arehairy and sheeps innards are considered acountrys favourite meal.No other beverage is so intimately connec-ted to the spirit of a nation. The word forwhisky itself has its root in the old Gaelic term for water, uisge. Uisge beatha meansthe water of life in Gaelic. Outside Scotland

    you order a glass of whisky but if you wantto do this in a Scottish way then you ordera dram!Whisky is a delicious but strong alcoholic be-verage distilled from fermented grain mash.Different grains are used for different vari-eties, including barley, malted barley, rye,malted rye, wheat and maize. While themarket is dominated by blends, the mosthighly prized of Scotch whiskies are thesingle malts which are made of one type of

    grain. Whiskies mature in wooden caskswhich are generally made of oak.

    In order to add a subtle nuance, qualityScotch whiskies are often aged in usedcasks from Bourbon production. Scotchwhiskies are divided into ve main regionsnamely Highland, Lowland, Islay, Speyside(Tip: visit Dufftown!) and Campbeltown. Thenatural water in each region contributes tothe taste of a whisky.Whisky has established itself as an affordableluxury with a trend for drinking less but bet-ter. Scotland continues to set the pace whenit comes to wonderful whisky. Industry gu-res prove that shipments of whisky abroadare up despite economic recession. Scotsmencan proudly present their Scotch whisky ex-port quota which already represents 20% ofScotlands manufactured exports. One of thegreat joys when it comes to whisky is disco-vering an unfamiliar distillery and nding itproduces wonderful single malts. If you donot have the opportunity to do so just takea look at the list below with suggestions of

    what types of whisky one could start with ona whisky experience.

    Here are some affordable Scottish Single Malt whiskies that can be recommended. They aremainly light and delicate ones, therefore also suitable for the Ladies ;)

    Lets have a dram!

    Name Age Taste Produc-tion

    Aberlour 10 very soft, dry, fresh and fruity aroma from apples and pears,sweet toffee note, hint of marzipan (honey and nuts), smooth

    and creamy nishing

    Speyside

    Dalwhinnie 15 Aromatic nose with hints of peat, sweet, hint of honey andvanilla, with a bit citrus fruit avour, long intense nish whichstarts sweet but gets to peat and malt

    Highland

    Glenfarclas 10 fruity, hints of dried fruit, cinnamon and vanilla, a wee oily,smokiness combined with sherry sweetness, long smooth andspicy nish

    Speyside

    Glenlivet 12 Aromatic, owery, clean and simple though some spice, notesof vanilla, slightly sweet, long but mild and warming nish

    Speyside

    Macallan

    Fine Oak

    15 matured in sherry and bourbon oak, smooth and light, the

    aroma has a hint of rose and cinnamon, the nishing tasteslike chocolate with hints of orange and raisins, lingering

    Speyside

    Some other very delicious and aromatic ones that you should try are, for instance, Mortlach, Macallan,Glenddich, Edradour and Balvenie... well, the reason why the whiskies mentioned above are mainlyfrom the Speyside or the Highlands is simply because Scots say the magic that makes their whiskiesbetter than anyone elses is in the water from their Highland rivers!

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    If you want to immerse yourself into the delicate world of whisky, youshould consider some things in order to enjoy the full cheer and notto make a fool of yourself. Just follow some easy instructions and youwill learn how to become a whisky expert ;)

    Lesson 1How to prepare for a whisky tasting:

    a) The smaller the glass the betterb) Use water to mix with the whisky ordrink between the whiskies.This will enrich the taste, or bouquet asthe professionals call it.c) Concentrate on smell (nose), palate(taste) and nish (after-taste) and nallyoverall impressiond) If you want to eat something with ithave some crackers or oat-cakesLesson 2

    How to taste a whisky:

    a) Swill the whisky around in the glass (but take care you do notspill it!)b) Put the glass just below your nose, smell it (but dont take abreath too deep!) and describe what you smell Is it fruit, vanilla,caramel? Is it shy or smoky?c) Taste a wee bit and let it rest some seconds in your mouth. It

    can be soft or sharp, spicy or nutty, fruity or smoky.d) Finally swallow it. It can have a long or short aftertaste, gentleand fruity or sharp and spicy. UR+PO

    Edradour Whiskey Distillery

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    The widest range of whiskies to buy can probably be found at Peckhams

    (Peckham & Rye, 155-159 Bruntseld Place, Edinburgh, EH10 4DG, Uni-ted Kingdom, +44 131 228 2888) or in one of those specialised whiskyretailers in the city of Edinburgh. So just pop in one of the following:

    The Whisky Shop

    28 Victoria StreetEdinburgh

    EH1 2JW+44 (0)131 2254666

    CadenheadWhisky Shop

    172 CanongateEdinburgh

    EH8 8DF+44 (0)131 5565864

    Royal MileWhiskies

    379 High StreetEdinburgh EH1

    1PW+44 (0) 131 2253383

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    The ForestMy old wooden table is decorated with a beerbottle which serves as a vase for a yellow

    rose.While using the free WiFi I observe thisgirl sitting near me. She is getting a red catout of her huge bag and starts to put colour-ful ribbons around the animals neck. The cat,feeling that her natural appearance is goingto be signicantly manipulated, escapes andhides behind an armchair. Crazy. But thepeople in here are crazy crazy and youngand artistic and open-minded. Meet the directgateway to the friendly alternative milieu of

    Edinburgh:The Forest Caf. Its offerings coverfar more than a ne selection of tea, coffee,soups and wraps you can also attend lmscreenings, live music, poetry or languagecourses. Everything is for free.

    So it is not only a meeting point forcreative people but also a place for crea-tivity itself which is impressively under-lined by the mixed, partly old-fashioned

    and inspiring interior.The Forest is exclusively run by volun-teers from all over Europe and theyspread an enjoyable international am-bience. One of those is now helping tocatch the cat. Crazy caf. WK

    bring your own alcohol from thesupermarket and enjoy it here -no problem

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    What s on t onit e?0

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    CAMEO

    Generally, when a cinema is tagged as the favourite in thewhole world by no less a gure than Quentin Tarantino, itis time for the owner to pop the corks, as he should be setfor life . However, the cinema in question is not the mostprotable Art House venue in Edinburgh. With the Film-house just some 300 feet a way, The Cameo has founda worthy rival in the battle for the favour of the capitalscinasts. Curtain up for the competition between one of

    the oldest movie theatres and arguably the most importantcinema in Scotland!

    On one big screen (253 seats), and two smaller screens(75 and 66 seats) mainly alternative new-releases, butalso foreign-language lms as well as classic re-issuesand documentaries are shown. Q&A screenings withguests from the lm industry take place on occasion.

    The Double Bill on Sundays gives one the opportunityto see two related lms at the price of one. Every weekthere is a different foreign-language lm to be seen du-ring the European matinee.

    The main auditoriumevokes reminiscencesof the past through itshighly elegant Edwardi-an style, which has beenlargely unchanged sincethe inception in 1914.The sensation alone ofsitting in the cosy seatsand enjoying the feelingof being in an abso-lutely unique place isworthwhile.

    After having seen aterric movie, a visitto the Caf-bar is amust. Have a coffee ina relaxing atmosphe-re, listen to the golden20s music and seeif you can name thenumerous actors anddirectors on the walls!

    InteriorsBEFORE 5PM: full price 5.50,concessions 4.20AFTER 5PM: full price 6.50,

    concessions 4.90

    MO: full price 4.50, concessions4.20WED FIRST SCREENING:1.50 for concessions holdersWEEKENDS: full price 6.50,concessions 4.90

    Concessions available forstudents, children under 15,claimants, senior citizens

    Eating and Drinking Prices

    Programme

    Programme

    V

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    Filmhouse

    It is difcult to decide which cinema is better in the end it allcomes down to each individuals personal taste. The real winner inthe rivalry between the Cameo and the Filmhouse, though, are themovie-goers of Edinburgh: The fact that the programme directorsseldom show a lm which the other cinema is already showing,makes Edinburghs range of lms so uniquely diverse. ES

    CONCLUSION

    Next to the latest international arthouse releases, the Filmhouse offers awide variety from the history of world cinema. The lms that are shown onone big screen (280 seats) and two smaller screens (97 and 72 seats) arethoughtfully compiled into different seasons, such as Totally Tati or TheBest of Czech Cinema.As this cinema is able to screen 70mm, it sometimes offers screenings of

    silent movies, which are accompanied live by a piano. Whoever experiencescinema at its origins in this way, can consider himself lucky!On the second Sunday of every month the lm buffs compete in an extreme-ly tricky quiz, which makes even experts sweat. Participation in groups up to8, starting at 9am. It is however recommended to get there early in order toget a seat.

    The interior design iskept simple, yet prac-tical. When entering

    the Lobby, ones sightrst falls on a collec-tion of outstandingDVDs, which can bepurchased. In front ofthe screen in the mainauditorium, there is astage, which is perfectfor Q&A screenings.

    After having bought your ticket,you will notice there is something

    missing. Yes, the Filmhousedoes not sell any popcorn orsweets, and as is turns out, thisis quite convenient. One can fullyconcentrate on the lm and notbe bothered by the eating noisesof a neighbour. Nevertheless,one can have a reasonably pricedmeal or a drink afterwards. Thecaf-bar is also a good place tochat to other lm-lovers.

    BEFORE 5PM: full price4.90, concessions 3.30AFTER 5PM: full price6.50, concessions 4.90.

    FR: BARGAIN MATINEES:full price 3.60, concessi-ons 2.10

    Concessions availablefor students, schoolpupils, children under 15,claimants, senior citizens,disability or invaliditystatus

    Interiors Eating and Drinking Prices

    Programme

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    Go throughthe dirtiest, darkest and shadiest

    underground passage of Edinburgh. Dontlet yourself be put off by the smell of you-dont-want-to-know-what. Follow the narrowback-alley, turn right and climb a couple ofsteep steps. Et voil, you made it - A bright

    sign tells you your destination: the grv.Unlike the ugly path you had to pass, thesmall club youre about to enter seems veryclean with its light-coloured wood and thestoney walls. You may order a beer, have

    a seat and ponder about the reason whysomeone put so many things as peculiar asa sewing machine or the little dog from ToyStory into the cupboard behind the bar or you can discover unknown, young bands just before their breakthrough! ES

    Youre in for awild and varied mix if you

    choose to chew the Bubblegum onSaturdays. Since the The Hive triesto appeal to as many people as possible,

    youre likely to meet both heavily made-up

    girls in short skirts and high heels and morealternative-styled folks. An open-mindedattitude is therefore necessary. You can gomental to the usual oor-llers and as soon asthey play that tune that youve just heard toomany times, you can head over to the seconddance-oor and rock out to your favouriteindie song. The atmosphere in these spacious

    underground vaults is perfect for party-

    people from 18 to 22.11:00-3:00am -free entry before 11:30

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    getting drunk is to spend the night in as many pubs as possible. Unsurprisingly, eachpub has its own air and its own party-attendees so that you see and (if you want to)

    talk to a big variety of younger as well as older people partying, all of them in a goodmood and willing to share a drink with you. There are crowded and busy pubs as wellas more chilling and cosy pubs. Traditional, old-fashioned as well as modern and plainpubs. Smaller as well as bigger ones - younger as well as older ones - loud as well ascalmer ones. Moreover, there are the ones which are more trendy and the ones whichare rather alternative. There are the ones which offer live music (whether it is Jazz,Rock, Indie or Folk) and there are the ones with a Jukebox, a DJ or a CD. And last butnot least there are the ones with Karaoke (mostly on Friday night e.g. Rose Street,Waterloo Place)! You see all in all it is pretty unlikely for anybody to get bored while

    being on a pub crawl in Edinburgh. However, sometimes it indeed happens that one ofthe group members is not satised with the choice of current pub and therefore wantsto move on. In this case this person should be tolerant and fair enough to wait untilthe group moves on, which will happen depending on how fast the group drinks theirbeer or whisky - quite soon. Keep in mind that there are tons of other pubs waitingto be explored by you!

    Pub crawl If you have ever dreamed of getting to know asmany pubs of Edinburgh as possible and youjust have one day to do so you need to go on a so-called pubcrawl: one of the most popular evening activities of Edinburgh.

    In general, it seems that a Scotsman somehow feelsthe need to get drunk pretty fast and early. This isdue to the fact that pubs mainly close pretty early,which means around 1 am. Consequently, pubs arealready full and crowded around 7 pm. While wan-dering through the crowded streets full of bag-car-rying customers in haste time seems more preciousbecause of shops closing their doors at 6 pm. Timetravelling begins when passing extrovert, young,fancy-clothed students and when short skirted, high

    heels wearing, laughing girlscross your way ready toparty. For some tourists thismight be a pretty new andunusual experience butdont worry although itmight seem like it is alreadysomewhat after 11 pm yourwatch truly is set at the righttime, and it really is just 7

    pm, and yes: these loud,eccentric, joking and laughingdrunken people ARE denitelydrunk. Lucky the one who

    gets to know the Scotsmen on a Friday! This is the day to ob-serve suited Businessmen drinking lots of pints of beer duringtheir lunch break with the purpose to get drunk in order to beprepared for the evening. The purpose of a pub crawl next to

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    Good places to crawl around: Along Royal Mile Southbridge Rose Street Geor-ge Street (the place where Prince Harry and Prince William go to Party)

    You can also attend an organized pub crawl (=10) which is not just for those of youwho travel on their own but for all the ones who want to be part of a big group. On

    the one hand you will crawl in a group of different tourists from all over the worldand with different interests, and on the other hand it is guaranteed that all of themhave the same aim: to get to know new people, to have a good and fun time, andof course: to get drunk.Another important fact to mention is that standing at the bar between lots of Scots-men does not allow you to hold the most serious conversation. But who wants tohold a serious conversation, anyway? GT

    Rule 1: Start your tour early and dont feel bad about it! Keep inmind that it might end early as well and pubs are closing early.(1 am)

    Rule2:Juststayforonedrink.Rule3:Betolerantandfa

    iryoudonotlikethispub?Thenextone

    isalreadywaitingforyou!Itwillnotbelonguntilyougetthere...

    Rule4:Keepaneyeonpubsinthebasement!Itwouldbesucha

    shametomissthembecauseyoujusthavenotrecognisedthem.

    Rule 5:Be aware of the fact that dairy shops are not allowed to sell

    alcohol after 10 pm.

    Rule6:Trytocrawlinahomogenous

    groupwithsimilarinterests

    thatisaloteasierandsurelymorefun!

    Andkeepinmind:thereisa

    pubforeveryonesinterest.

    Rule7:Donotexpecttogetaseatatthetablebesatisfedwith

    standingatthebarnexttoanoldScotsman.

    Rule8:Therearepubswithlivemusic,pubswithadancefoorinthebackandthereareclubstogoafterwardsaswell.

    Rule 9:Clubsmostlydonotchargeyouanentrance-fee

    before11pm.

    Rule10:DonohesitatecheckingoutroyalandexpensivelookingbuildingslikeTheDomeonGeorgeStreet-thesemightbeprettycheappubstogo.

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    HistoryandCulture

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    We have a building which is more than a building.Edwin Morgan

    Between Innovation

    The rst quality I have in mind when I think ofScottish people is their strongly expressed pri-de in being Scottish. But what does that meanfor them- being Scottish? Maybe, besides therichness of tradition and culture, it is relatedto the fact that the last 100 years have turnedScottish society topsy-turvy. An approach.

    Because of the improvement of shipbuildingthrough new technologies and practices, shingwas revolutionised in the 20th century so thatScotland became one of Europes most impor-tant exporters of sea food. As potentially oneof the richest countries in renewable resourcesand the one that gains its energy entirely fromnatural resources (such as coal, oil and gas),Scotland is well prepared for the future and thenancial sector is sympathetic towards Scot-land, since it had started growing very quicklyin the 1970s, as well.This development mightsupport the fallacy that Scotland had weathe-red the storms of war very easily but the in-heritances of the 19th century were hard to

    carry.Not only because of the huge political, econo-mical and social changes, which led Scotlandthe way to its todays place in the world, thelives of most Scots were deeply touched byWorld War I and II. Proportionally, Scotland

    lost more lives than any other nation.While war was raging remote from home,Scottish husbands, sons and fathers weresacricing their lives while woman worked al-most everywhere. This caused a fundamentalchange in established social structures.Industry (originally dominated by coal, steeland heavy engineering) experienced weigh-tily transformations. These sectors, whichonce had been so strong, now needed statesupport. Heavy industry was replaced by theservice sector, as well as by knowledge eco-nomy and the light high-tech industry in the1970s. The closure of Ravenscraig Steel Worksin 1992 was a symbol for the end of Scotlandas a heavy industrial nation. The change in thetextile industry was not less enormous. Where-as previously one in eight people was workingin the textile industries the manifold productswere nearly reduced to tartan and cashmere.Together with the reduction of products, wor-kers had to leave the factories. Fewer workinghours in the 20s were the result of globalisa-

    tion and mechanisation, and subsequently alack of working places. People lled their freetime easily using the options modication, carownership and cheap holidays, which in the1960s found their way into society. They be-gan to travel around while Scotland, however,

    Scottish Parliament

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    and Tradition

    went on being the mostfavourite place for taking holidays.

    The Sick man of Europe, that is what Scotlandwas called and not without any good reason.Poverty, sub-standard living conditions and lifeexpectancy lower than in the Gaza Strip markedthe 20th century. Poor housing and health aswell as unemployment was tackled by creatingnew towns and programmes of slum-clearance.After the Second World War competing markets(in prices and goods) reduced smaller busines-ses to rubble and in times of the Internet a glo-

    bal market for Scottish products was created.A growing multiculturalism, votes for woman (es-tablished in 1918), their involvement in politicsplus the new-found voice of the working classduring the wars -of which the evolution of thelabour-movement in Britain was an indication -made social life more colourful and innovative.

    Dealing with ordinary life was a daily occur-rence until the 1970s, when people found timeto question the loyalty to the Anglo-Scottish

    Union.Therefore the foundation of the National Partyin 1934 (still a minority group) was a sign of re-covery from the gaping wounds inicted by war.Regained power and growing self-consciousnesscould now

    be used to add authority tothe engrained wish of gaining political

    independence and acknowledgement on the

    part of England.Having conquered so many barriers on theway to nding their national identity, thewordsThere shall be a Scottish Parliament.,written down in the Scotland Act of 1998,sounded greatly releasing to the Scottish peo-ple. The labour government under Tony Blairpromised reform. On 11th of October, 1997a referendum was held to decide whether aScottish Parliament should be established andabout its ability to vary taxation. Unsurprisin-

    gly the majority of Scots answered both ques-tions with yes.Finally, on 1st of July, 1999, the rst ScottishParliament met for the rst time since theunion in 1707, full of ambiguity to start workas this had happened very seldom in history.

    Notwithstanding these great changes, new-ly acquired improvements in society andthe well-deserved pride on being Scottish, itshould not be forgotten that serious problems

    still do exist, such as social deprivation andpoor health. Finding a solution must be theultimate goal for the future which is fast ap-proaching. LJ

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    The mentality of giving and a corporate feeling seem to be traditionallydeep-seated in Scottish peoples minds, not allowing to expect any

    thing as a reward for it. Therefore you can nd lots of charityand vintage shops all over Edinburgh. Here are the very

    special ones. LJ2nd Hand Shops

    Barnardos Vintage

    Store116 West Bow

    Being most friendly wel-comed by the shop assis-tant you can launch into avariety of clothing, enjoy-ing a cosy living-room-atmosphere at Barnardos

    personal and intimate littlestore. Run riot in trying outtotally different styles!

    mstrong

    nd Sonsat Grassmarket 83pening Armstrongs door is like diving into another

    orld feeling captured by a nearly absurd mixtureeccentric, alternative and traditional styles. Hugefed skirts and dresses are enthroning above yourad, interrupted by lustres draped with pearl neck-

    ces and other affectionate details, such as old musicxes, commodes and extraordinary crazy gurines.

    u cannot stop browsing, here is a lot of everything!you want to feel like a real lady (century is selecta-e), are looking for a stylish everyday-outt, or wantcostume yourself, you need to come here.

    Godavia9 West Port

    In the front area those of you with fatpurses can nd interesting creationsof young designers. In order to ll theleaks of your shopping bags the rest ofyou can rummage in the back room of

    Godavia.

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    Herman BrownWest PortYou did not yet nd the perfectdress for tonight? Hard to belie-ve! But do not worry, you might

    not have a problem in nding astylish one here.

    Concrete Wardrobe50a Broughton Street

    Are you looking for something re-

    ally special manufactured, individualof high quality for decorating yourhome or yourself?In this shop you can get it for lessmoney than you might think.

    Prices start from 2.00.Nonetheless, you have to invest

    another 20 - 80 in order to acquiretheir beautiful clothes. But that isworth it!

    Joey Ds50b Broughton Stree

    Wearing Joey Ds visionary accessories you will stand

    out everywhere. Boots and hats rede-

    signed into handbags seem to be theirspeciality. However, this creativity hasits price and the clothes are less un-conventional.

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    Mainland of north England, a multitude of islands separated by the sea-this is Scotland.This country is open, uninhabited and

    one of the last wildernesses in Europe. Remarkable to be full of contrasts,dominated by its landscape and its weather Scotland is a good mixof old and new.After some three hundred years of political union with England, the Scotsvoted to have their own parliament in 1997.The elected assembly is now sitting in Edinburgh. In times of political as wellas cultural renaissance the Scots are faced with the challenge of redeningthemselves. This important step brings hope and greater dynamics for thefuture to the country and its people. Scotland may remain part of Great Bri-tain but it has always been a country apart.And indeed the land and the people are in some ways truly different.About 80 percent of the population live and work in Edinburgh, Glasgow and

    between those two big cities.In the older days South Scotland was the centre for the textile industry butin our days people are increasingly moving to the big cities for work.Edinburgh and Glasgow the principal cities couldnt be more different:Edinburgh, with its incredible charm and stone facades everywhere andmuch more compact than Glasgow and, on the other hand, Glasgow, one ofthe greatest cities of the colonial empire turned into a modern metropolis.The Scotland in common travel guides with old castles and romance meanslittle to the majority of Scots who live in modern urban areas. Much of the

    big shipping and shing industries of Scotland s proud industrial past

    have, gone anyway.A country is dened by its people.

    Scots continue to enjoy a good reputation around the world. Many of thestereotypes about Scotland and the Scots contradict the modern reality.Compared to the English, Scottish people seem more relaxed and optimis-tic. They are also open and friendly to everyone.This is particularly evident in the countryside, where it is rude not to taketime to chat to people coming across your way. When, staying in Scotland

    you are immediately impressed by the wealth of history that virtually co-mes out everywhere in the countrys different districts. Edinburgh, with itsgranite terraces and churches is only one example of this wealth. It feelslike the city has a story to tell on every

    Sir Walter Scotts land of brown heath and

    haggy wood, land of mountain and the ood

    Culture

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    street corner, where you come across. This link to ancient times attracts visitors fromall over the world.So history plays an important part in attracting visitors to Scotland.For many people the image of Scotland s heritage, is packed in a big tartan pa-ckage and can bought in any tourist shop along the Royal Mile in Edinburgh.For anyone interested in Scotland and its people it is not easy to understand the cul-ture and dening a national character is complicated.The Scots are mostly portrayed, as being open- hearted and generous, courageous,

    mean and dour, high- sprited and cynical- all at the same time. Part of the difcultylies in the fact, that not all Scots can be seen as one unied type.Scots come together to celebrate a national festival but are also divided by class andgeography. Whether buying something in a shop or just asking for the way, it is easyto slip into a conversation with the locals.The image of the Scots not being best friends with the English Neighbours is anenduring one and that Scots are proud people is beyond, the doubt.

    Traditions that are unique to Scotland haveoften survived the countrys past. The bestknown is Hogmanay.Originally an old Celtic festival to ward off evilspirits with huge bonres, Hogmanay is now amassive party held in the New Year.

    Another Tradition comes here

    PO

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    Fog. Leaess trees. Large grey elds of grass. No buildings.Just a 10 minute walk from Haymarket but you feel like ina tale of Edgar Ellen Poe. The sound of cars almost silentsomewhere behind me while I am following the path. In thedistance there is a yellow blurry light like burning letters.Light to letters, letters to words. Through the thick fog Iread: There will be no miracles here. A provoking phrasethat emphasises the interest to explore the huge monumen-tal building that emerges in front of me.The Dean Gallery is close to the Gallery of Modern Art andboth are rich and manifold residences of controversial art.One room and four grey squares on the walls. Colouredmetal plates combined to make an odd sculpture. A crus-

    hed violin caught in a cube of glass. Confusing seeminglysenseless lm footage. Picasso. Warhol. Dada.Pseudo art? Genius? Trash? Beautiful?Even if you do not favour modern art you will always askquestions and it always evokes at least some kind of opinionin you. You decide about the truth of the phrase mentionedabove.Go for it, its free.

    WK

    andGallery of Modern Art

    Dean Gallery

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    The Really Terrible OrchestraWhen really bad turns out to be reallygood and successful

    The Really Terrible Orchestra of Edinburgh is thelast refuge for hopeless musiciansWith some last shrieks and awkward noises the pie-ce which is supposed to be Scott Joplins The En-tertainer fades out. Were the American composeraround tonight, he probably wouldnt be too enter-tained. The four dozen men and women rehearsingat the Robertson Music Centre in Edinburghs West-end are a really terrible orchestra.

    At least, they have the decency to call themselvesThe Really Terrible Orchestra (RTO).

    It doesnt require its members to have any musical skills. Just buy an instrument and join! TheEdinburgh based troupe is home to all those who have never managed to play properly, the lastrefuge for the musically disadvantaged, as current chairwoman Pippa Lockhart puts it. Somemembers are just here for the fun, others take it more seriously and want to improve. Most ofthem played an instrument as a child, but stopped at some point. Then, after a few years or evendecades, they found it in the attic, blew off the dust and joined the RTO. But some have nevereven had any musical experience whatsoever. Take, for example, Dorothy Leeming. I asked ourconductor if I could join if taking some lessons before. To which he replied: Forget the lessons,

    just come. And he made Dorothy learning 1st double bass immediately. Conductor Richard Ne-ville Towle, actually Sir Richard Neville Towle there are still rumours if and why he has beenknighted stands in front of the musical crescent, swings his arms heavily and puts great effortinto instructing the musicians. But hardly anyone seems to take notice. Most members are toooccupied with the contrarieties of their instruments. Mr Neville Towle is the only professional mu-sician around here and has been hired by businessman Peter Stevenson and novelist AlexanderMcCall Smith who founded the RTO in 1995.

    It started out of envy for our children play-ing in school orchestras, Mr Stevenson re-calls. The two wanted that for themselves,but were way too bad for real orchestras.And so the RTO was born. Soon after theyhad their rst concert at the EdinburghFringe. Yes, they have public appearan-ces. And quite succesful at that. They pro-mise bad music, and they deliver reliably.So far, the RTO has had concerts in Lon-don and New York, all of which were soldout. Which is puzzling, especially for for-eigners. Why do people pay to attend aw-ful performances? Out of schadenfreude?For the same reasons they watch horrormovies? The horror of music, if you will?Music critics from German television to the New YorkTimes have wondered about the phenomenon. In astrange sense of irony, the RTO has a music critic in

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    its ranks, as well. By day, Susan Nickalls reviews bad musical performances for theScotsman, by night, she gives, well, bad musical performances. Her colleagues at thenewspaper nd her hobby quite funny. Its really eccentric, really British, says Felici-tas MacFie, the self-announced quota German of the RTO. You couldnt do something

    like that in Germany. Mrs MacFie doesnt consider herself to be a really terrible musician,having had lessons for several years. But as a hotel owner and mother of six, she doesnthave the time to practise. Besides, I feel welcome around here. Probably everybodydoes. The relaxed atmosphere within the RTO puts a stark contrast to the tenseness andcompetitiveness of ordinary orchestras. Rehearsals are as often interrupted by suddenlaughter as by the conductor.Before each concert, both the audience and the musicians receive a glass of wine, be-cause its more fun then, Mrs Lockhart smiles. At times, there would also be audienceparticipation of some sort, or a guest speaker would recite verses between the songs.People come to see a variety show, Mr Stevenson sums up.

    Not all pieces tonight are actually terrible. The longer they perform, the better they seem tobecome. So does the RTO undermine the basis for its success by too much rehearsing? Willit have to be rebranded as the Quite Decent Orchestra? Chances for that arent high. Theorchestra as a whole has probably improved 20 percent since the beginning, Mr Stevenson -gures, starting from a very low level. So there isnt any risk that we might become too goodone day. MB

    The RTO regularly performs at the Edinburgh FringeFestival in August. For further information see website

    www.thereallyterribleorchestra.com

    press photo

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    Economist John Law became the richest man inthe world but died a pauper

    Edinburgh usually celebrates its most eminent sons and

    daughters. Economist Adam Smith, for example, has a sta-tue erected in his honour on Royal Mile and his face on theScottish 20 pound note. For some reason they seem to haveskipped on his colleague John Law. John Who? Even mostnatives of the city reply with astonishment if you ask themabout this early 18th century gure. Which is quite asto-nishing, too, since John Law was only the inventor of modernpaper money, saved post-Louis XIV France from bankruptcy,controlled commerce for a great part of North America androse to be the richest man in the world, maybe the richestman of all time, but wound up a pauper and dying alone anddespised in a Venice hotel.

    But rst things rst: Born in Edinburgh in1671 as the eldest son of the goldsmith andbanker William Law, young John grew up atLauriston Castle, a 16th century Edwardianmansion in Silverknowles near the Firth ofForth which today is open to tourists. Theboy turned out to be brilliant at mathematics

    and economics, but also knew how to enjoylife. Beau Law, as the tall and handsomelad was called by his friends, had a love forthe ladies and for gambling. For a great partof his life he would make ends meet by se-parating other people from their fortunesat a card game called Pharao. At rst, notvery successful. Squandering his late fathersinheritance, he had to be bailed out by hismother.At the age of 20, John Law moved to Lon-

    don in order to study mathematics, econo-mics and political economy. But at night, hewent on with the hobbies mentioned above.His charm and ne manners soon got him intouch with the higher circles of society, bothmale and female. Not everybody was quitefond of that. On April 9th 1694, Law foughta duel with a certain Edward Wilson over theaffections of a woman. Being an excellentfencer Law killed his opponent on the spot.He was found guilty of murder and sentencedto death just three days after the incident.Later the accusation was reduced to mans-laughter and the sentence commuted to ane. But his victims brother appealed.

    Frgtten S o Edibugh

    Wilson had been the son of an inuential fa-mily and Law was imprisoned again. Howe-ver, he was able to ee with the help of somefriends and escape to Amsterdam, where helearned banking as a more practical approach.Upon returning to Scotland around 1700, Lawengaged in debates surrounding the Union

    with England and proposed his plans to TheScottish Parliament (see box). They were re-jected and in 1707 Law had to ee again. Dueto the Union the sentence against him becamevalid in Scotland, as well. He toured Europealong with his lover Catherine Segnieur andtheir two children. Catherine was at the timestill married to another man. Im not marri-ed, but my wife is, John Law would joke.After several other rejections he got his chan-ce in France which had been ruined by the

    late Sun King Louis XIVs wars and opulentlifestyle. The new regent gave a way for Lawsbanking project and appointed him ControllerGeneral of Finances. As such he founded theBanque Royale which succeeded in reducingmost of the states debts and made manyreforms benetting the common man. Thethankful regent granted Law the commercemonopoly for Frances overseas territories inNorthern America, Lousiana. Had Law diedat this point he might have been considered

    a national hero in France.But his ruin wasabout to come. Law founded the West IndianCompany whose shares were affordable forpeasants and servants, as well.

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    People were equal in this respect several decades before the FrenchRevolution. And they almost trampled each other to death to buy Lawsshares hoping to prot from the alleged El Dorado across the Atlantic.The shares boosted and made Law the richest man in the world andeverybodys darling in Paris. But the Scot ha d greatly exaggerated theriches of Louisiana, which turned out to be a mosquito-ridden swamp.

    The Mississippi Bubble, one of the biggest nancial bubbles of all time,burst and shares fell rapidly. John Law had made the French rich andthen poor again.In May 1720, an angry mob hunted the formerly popular man downthe streets of Paris. He managed to save himself, but his carriage wastorn apart. John Law was expelled yet another time.

    His titles and belongings were seized by the state. On March 21st,1729 he died in Venice alone and forgotten. MB

    According to John Law economicprogress is fundamentally linked tothe amount of money circulating.Because paper money was unknownand metals for coins were rare, the

    Europe of his day suffered from ascarcity of money. So Law proposedthe establishment of a national bankwith the rights to issue paper notesbacked by land, gold or silver andguaranteed by the state. This mul-tiplication of money, he reckoned,could increase investments.

    paper money

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    This nal chapter is about Scots for the Ladies: unfortunately we are nottalking about Scottish men ;) we are denitely talking about the Scottishlanguage In general, the Edinburgh English is not difcult for foreigners to understand.In Scottish English the letter R is rolled which may cause some pronunciati-

    on problems with people from abroad. Scotsmens language is simply calledSCOTS. Scots is not to be mixed up with Gaelic, which was formerly much morewidely spoken than it is today, though, many words have passed from it intoScots.Scots has originally developed since medieval times with its roots in Old Eng-lish. Scots would have become an independent language if the Union with Eng-land had not prevented that. Nevertheless, it should be noted that some Eng-lish words actually have their origin in Scots, such as eerie, cuddle or greed.Even though there has never really been a complete split, Scots distinguishesitself especially in terms of vocabulary from English. 50,000 words in Sots pro-

    ve that the Scottish people have always had a mind of their own.Here are some words and phrases that you may nd useful when having aninformal conversation with a Scottish person: UR

    Scots words & phrases The equivalent in English:

    Ay(e)/nae Yes/no

    ane, twa, three, fower, ve, sax, sieven,aicht, nine, ten

    1-10

    Hi ye/awrite; Hou ar ye?, Hous it gaun? Hi/Hello! How are you?

    Am ne, slainte! An ye? I am ne, thank you. And you?

    Whaur ar ye frae? Where are you from

    A dinna kin! I dont understand

    A dinna ken! I dont know

    Happy Hogmanay! Happy New Year!

    Canty Birthday! Happy Birthday!

    one of Britains sexiest languages

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    Auld Reekie (~ old smoky city) nickname for Edinburghaye or ay [pronounced like eye] yes; always/constantlyae [rhymes with bay] one, a single (e.g. ae fond kiss)

    Alba Gaelic name for Scotlandben mountain; inside of a house

    (e.g. cam ben the hoose)bonny, bonnie beautyfulburgh citybarrie or barry very good, very attractive

    (wed a really barrie time)blootered (to be...) to be very drunkCaledonia the poetic name for Scotland or the HighlandsCeilidh [kayley] Scottish dance, social gathering with folk musicclosesmall courtyard; entrance; narrow lane/passageway

    leading off a main streetdram small quantity/a glass of whiskydreich miserable, cold, wet (weather)doolie a foolish personeedle-doddle a daydreamer or carefree personefter after

    Ee, een an eye; eyeslibeg, libeg, philibeg a kilt as worn in Highland dressfricht someone [friCHt] to frighten someoneglen narrow valley with a stream or

    river owing through itgate; gait a street or a path

    (like in Canongate, Marketgait)heavy dark beer (nearest equivalent

    English beer is bitter)

    Hogmanay New Years Eve, 31 Decemberhowff bar or pub used as a regular meeting pointhooley a wild partyIrn Brew popular orange-coloured carbonated

    soft-drink supposed to have hangover-curingproperties

    nver a river mouthjiggin dan

    joco [jo-ko], (to be...) to be happy, relaxed, self-satised

    ken (to...) to knowKilt knee-length pleated skirt in tartan worn

    as part of a mans Highland dresskirk church

    SCOTS vocabulary

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    addy and lassie boy and girloch, lochan lake, small lakemuckle, meikle big, tallmercat [mer-kit] market (mercat cross in a town is

    a monument marking the site of the old market- place)

    miraculous [mir-rock-you-luss], (to be...) to be exceptionally drunk

    minginvery unpleasant or of bad quality,also used for describing the weather

    ned(in Glasgow area) a young hooliganongoings happenings, eventsoutsider(Glasgow area) rst or last slice of a loaf of breadpudding often: sausagepinkie the little ngerpiper a bagpipe playerplump a sudden, heavy fall of rainquair a book; word often found in

    literary works such as A Scots Quairqueerie any odd or strange personrood crossreek a smoke, to smokescooby(in Glasgow) not to have a Scooby about something

    = to know nothing at all about itskirl a loud shrill sound such as that of the bagpipes

    slinte mhath [slan-ja vah] Gaelic toast used especially whendrinking whisky; it means good healthsmirr drizzly rain falling gently in small dropssteamin (to be) to be very drunkswally, swallie having a drink of alcohol

    (e.g. fancy a quick swally after work?)tapsalteerie [tap-sl-tea-ree] upside-down, chaotic, untidy

    Tartan a distinctive pattern of coloured lines

    and bands which cross each otherat right angles originated in theHighlands associated with particular clans

    Thistle the national emblem of Scotlandrlar [oor-lar] in bagpipe music it is the basic tune

    around which a pibroch (piece ofbagpipe music) is based; Gaelic word for oor

    vennel lane, alley (often used in street names)

    wee small, little, tiny, a bitwynd narrow street or lane, often a winding one,which leads off a larger/more important one

    wellied (to be) person who is drunkyestreen last night or sometimes yesterday

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    Marcel BartschUlrike R.Gesa T.Patricia O.Eva SalomonWilli KubicaLeah Junck

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