Cross-Generational and Non-Normative Relationships

By: Amy Rothblum and Lisa Martin

Generational Relationships Nontraditional grandparenting roles Non-normative romantic relationships

Preview

Catharine Zata Jones and Michael Douglas

Generation:◦ Roughly 30 years◦ Average period between when children grow up

and birth their offspring.

Cross-generational: ◦ Skipping over one generation to the next

What are generational Relationships?

For younger people, most high quality communication occurs with grandparents◦ Most frequent◦ First source of intergenerational communication

Mutually beneficial ◦ Grandchild has a more effective transition to

adulthood◦ Grandparent has a higher social interaction and

life satisfaction(Harwood, 2007)

Grandparenting

Closer to grandmothers than grandfathers Closer to maternal grandmother Grandchildren are more fond of healthier

and younger grandparents

Why do you think that might be?

Closeness in Grandparent Relationships

Affiliation: Expression of love

Pride: Express accomplishments to others

Exchange: Describing what they do for their grandchild and what their grandchildren do for them

Distance: Geographically distant or distant due to grandchild’s parents

Closeness in Grandparent Relationships

Grandparents are celebrated Founded by Marian McQuade Originally started to help the lonely elderly

in nursing homes Hoped to persuade grandchildren to gain

knowledge and history Celebrated the first Sunday after Labor Day

◦ September 9, 2012◦ Grandparents Day

Grandparents Day

Non-Traditional Grandparents

Off-time Grandparents Typically very young If one becomes a grandparent to early, they may

not feel “ready” and will resist the identity role that is expected ◦ Working full time◦ Raising children of their own◦ Difficulty integrating children with grandchild◦ How might this be hard for the parent as well?

Divorce ◦ Leads to grandparent rights◦ Especially hard if grandchild is not with custodial parent

Non-Traditional Grandparents

Grandparents raising grandchildren Strengths:

◦ Pride◦ Joy◦ Feeling of being needed

Hardships:◦ Social isolation◦ Shifts in social networks◦ Physical, emotional, psychological strain◦ Examples?

Non-Traditional Grandparenting

Grandparents raising grandchildren: negotiating the complexities of role-identity conflict Feelings of disappointment and frustration Lack of adequate financial and social

support Foster cares appreciated for what they do,

while they were expected to do the same job without government support

Felt unjustly blamed (Backhouse and Graham, 2011)

Non-Traditional Grandparenting

Grandparents are taking on a more predictable parent role

Problem lies with middle generation issues◦ substance abuse◦ child abuse ◦ neglect◦ teenage pregnancy◦ HIV/AIDS ◦ parental unemployment(Turner and West, 2006)

Non-Traditional Grandparenting

Non-Normative Relationships

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore

Defined Violates social norms with regard to partner age

differences and romantic involvementEvolutionary Theory Men select women who are able to bare children

◦ Men can be with young women because men are more fertile later in age than women

Women select men who can provide them security and commitment

Men accept women -15 yrs., women accept men +10 yrs(Cupach, 2011)

Have these roles changed?

Non-Normative Relationships

Society does not favor older women dating younger men.◦ The term cougar is coined◦ Connotative vs. denotative meaningsWhat do you think of this term since men do not have one?

Double standard◦ Older men can date younger women◦ Negative connotation with women dating younger men

Why do you think this is a double standard?

Non-normative relationships

Hue Hefner

Extreme cases ◦ Hollywood◦ News Story

Which is more acceptable?

Non-Normative Relationships

Negative Assumptions◦ Power imbalance-male vs. female◦ Clashes of personal values- evolutionary theory◦ Less support-family, friends, society

Positive Assumptions ◦ Increase life satisfaction (grandparent to

grandchild)◦ Less jealousy◦ More trust

Non-Normative Relationship

Older women/younger men: A look at the implications of age difference in marriage Women reported to being attracted to younger

men before marriage Half of the couples interviewed for the study

agreed that there were issues with power, money and work in different developmental stages

Some hesitant to tell others about relationship for fear of judgment prior to marriage

Men saw women's maturity and stability as advantage

Age Difference in Marriages

(Proulx, Caron & Logue, 2006)

Changing the scripts: Midlife women’s sexuality in contemporary US film Society is embracing phenomenon of the cougar

through media◦ TV land’s The Cougar and NBC Age of Love ◦ Potential market is baby boomer women ◦ This programming embraces a women’s sexuality◦ However, these women are “trimmed, dyed and fit”

and do not match the average looking 40 year old women

(Weitz, 2009)

Sexuality and Culture

How are the non-normative relationships represented in other cultures?◦ Mostly looked at in the Western societies◦ May be different in areas where arranged

marriages are customary

Further research will look at a more diverse sample in age gap romances◦ Homosexual or lesbian couples◦ Interracial relationships(Cupach, 2011)

Future Research

Backhouse, J., & Graham, A. (2012). Grandparents raising grandchildren: Negotiating the complexities of role-identity conflict. Child & Family Social Work, 17(3), 306-315.

Connor, S. (2006). Grandparents raising grandchildren: Formation, disruption and intergenerational transmission of attachment. Australian Social Work, 59(2), 172-184.

Cupach, W. R., & Spitzberg, B, H. (2011). The dark side of close relationships II. New York: Routledge Taylor & Francis Group.

Harwood, J. (2007). Understanding communication and aging. Los Angeles: Sage Publications.

References

National Grandparents Day Council. Grandparents Day.(2012). National grandparents day. Date Retrieved October 30, 2012 from http://www.grandparents-day.com/

Proulx, N., Caron, S. L., & Logue, M. (2006). Older women/younger men: A look at the implications of age difference in marriage. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 5(4), 43-64.

Turner, L. H., & West, R. (2006). The family communication sourcebook. Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications.

Weitz, R. (2010). Changing the scripts: Midlife women’s sexuality in contemporary U.S. film. Sexuality & Culture, 14(1), 17-32.

References