cpr week 2
DESCRIPTION
Week 2 Edition of Camp Ponderosa's Staff NewlsetterTRANSCRIPT
THE P
ULSE
ELK DROP SOUPNO RABID ELK DROPPINGS INVOLVED! JUST BOIL A POT OF ASIAN EGG DROP SOUP BROTH, CRACK A COUPLE OF EGGLAND’S BEST MINUS THE YOKES AND TOSS IN A POUND OF THINLY SLICED RABID ELK LOIN.
GREEN ELK AND HAMFIRST CUT THE RABID ELK LOIN IN ZIG ZAGGY STRIPS THEN BRING TO A BOIL. ADD A CUP OF GREEN FOOD COLORING AND LET SIMMER FOR 20 MINUTES. SERVE WITH A SIDE OF HAM.
SCRAMBLED ELKGRAB YOUR HEAVY WHISK FOR THIS ONE. YOU MAY ALSO WANT TO STRETCH YOUR FOREARMS PRIOR TO. THEN CUT THE RABID ELK LOIN INTO CHUNKS. ADD TO A BOWL ALONG WITH MILK AND WHISK AWAY. FRY AND ENJOY!
Famous Last Words:“Hey Mom. Look
at me. No hands.”
“Life
ver
sus
mor
e lif
e! I
can’
t los
e.”
Phili
ppia
ns 1
:21(
MSG
)
Is the camp food just to bland? Are you eating so little you can barely stand?
Try these 30min. classics!
CPR - Week 2June 15-19, 2009
30 MIN. RABID ELK RECIPES
Look out! The Teens are coming!The Teens are coming! Well...They came and
they went. Somehow the camp was cleaner after
they left. We’re still investigating as to whether the
staff made the teen campers their slaves or
whether the teens whipped some of the sloppy
staffers into shape. Let’s hear it Sistas! “Don’t
Trash Camp!” Well, before we get ahead of our-
selves here...There were two days prior to the
teens arriving that must be recapped. Monday
marked the last day for the party while the DY’s
were away. You know what they say, “When the
cat is away the mice come out to play!” No one
was injured in the process as a few memories were
made. Monday morning the climbers got up the
tower with a trained professional. Rumor has it
Peter Takeuchi scaled the tower in 3.546 seconds.
We’re waiting for his drug test results to determine
if we have a legitimate new camp record. A few
staffers also painted some finishing touches on
one another along with an occasional splash of
paint on the actual chapel decorations. On Tues-
day the staff woke up as if it were Christmas morn-
ing and the “Sound of Music” filled the High
Mountain air as they eagerly made their way to the
dining hall, not for breakfast, but for an entire day
of “Safe From Harm” training. One anonymous
staffer was quoted, “I enjoyed that so much that I
hope we get to do it again tomorrow.” Does any-
one else think it was one of the Humphrey sisters?
Well, the “Safe From Harm” training couldn’t have
come at a more important time as the teens arrived.
One staffer leading the bright eyed and bushy tailed
teens was heard, “This is the only outdoor
restrooms. If you choose to use them you will need
to be accompanied by 2 staff members. They do
not need to hold your hand seeing as how you are a
teenager, but you must wash your hands after
you’re done.” I thought that was a good reminder
considering the whole impending epidemic and all.
On the other hand, why would an epidemic come to
Heber? Why does anything come to Heber. Heber
doesn’t even have a McD’s and the DQ closes at
8pm. If you order your Chili Dog at dinner you may
not even see it before the place closes. Anyway,
back to camp and the impending epidemic. Nurse
Anne, can you have Chaez tested for the swine
stuff. He’s been achey. Thursday the Scorpions
won the battle of the bands with the help of Josh
Hamilton’s exhaustive Bible knowledge. However,
the Doors claimed top honors for their scriptural
redemption of their band name, “Ask and it will be
given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the
door will be opened to you.” (Matt. 7:7). By the end
of the week Captain Chris had still not forgiven
Kistelle Shirley for her observation on the first night
of teen camp that he looked like a hot sauce
salesman. Hey Captain...Matthew 18:21–22.
!!GET YER SCREAM ON!
Recent CPR study proves that...
Screaming, even pretending to, can drastically impact the rate at which one grows humble. These study partici-pants prove that after just one scream there is no place for pride, thus leaving more room for the seeds of humil-ity to flourish. “Yeah. It worked for me and I was dou-bly blessed as the wind changed just as I screamed so now my face is frozen like this. I’ll be so full of humility I don’t know what I’m gonna do, but that sure is a good problem to have.” - Chaez Taylor
Spot Neil Reams, be the
first to show Capt. Chris, and you’ll win
an extra canteen card!
CLASSIFIEDSNEED A RAP? CALL TARRAH AND MARIEKA AT 55-WHACK
NEED A FRESHLY BOUNCED MUSIC COM-PILATION TO MAKE YOUR NEXT BATTLE OF THE BANDS A ROCKIN’ ONE? - CALL MARK AT 555-UH HA
NEED AN ICE-COLD, LUNCH SIZED, SFSP APPROVED, SOGGY CARTON OF CHOCO-LATE MILK? - CHECK THE REFRIGERATOR IN THE STAFF LOUNGE
WHILE SUPPLIES LAST!
NEED A PERSONAL TRAINER? CALL PETER TAKEUCHI. HE’LL HAVE YOU DOING THE MEADOW MILE BEFORE YOU CAN RAISE THE FLAGS! CALL PETER AT 555-FAST
FAIR WARNING!
CAMP IS NOT ALL FUN AND GAMES!
CAMP CAN HURT, EVEN STINK, AT TIMES! SO BE CAREFUL OUT THERE. HERE ARE A COUPLE OF THINGS WE THINK YOU SHOULD BE PREPARED FOR. 1. DON’T, UNDER ANY CIR-CUMSTANCES, PICK UP A STINK BUG. EVEN IF IT IS PLAYING DEAD (CAPTAIN CHRISTA!) 2. DON’T PICK A FIGHT WITH ERIN “THE NINJA” BARNES. YOU MAY NOT LIVE TO REGRET IT. 3. DON’T FOLLOW RABID ELK TRACKS. THERE IS DEFINITELY NO TREASURE AT THE END OF THE TRAIL. IF YOU’RE LUCKY YOU’LL ONLY FIND A PILE OF RABID #2.
Seriously! Hot sauce salesman?
By the numbers...
5 - The number of extra mattresses that Markus Reams and Chad Nicolazzi felt they needed. Has anyone else heard the story of the “The Princess and the Pea”?
10 - The number of cups of hot chocolate that Junior Bernabe needs during each night of his shepherding. Baaa...er...Brrrr!
103 - The number of staff and campers that were dis-turbed by Sean O’Brien’s eye liner on Scream Night.