NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and its relevance to

Product Management Stephen Guy

November 2010

Agenda

• Background and introduction to NLP• How is this useful to PM’s?

– Congruence– Rapport

• How to build congruence and rapport?• NLP in building PM excellence• Action plan• Questions

Background and Introduction to NLP• A group of U.S. Psychologists in the 1960’s set out to

investigate the traits of successful business people• They discovered some basic principles:

1. Congruence – when your goals, beliefs, and actions align with your actions and words (you are genuine)

2. Rapport – the quality of relationships3. Outcome – knowing what you want4. Feedback – are you getting what you want5. Flexibility – if what you are doing is not getting what you want,

do something else

• Tools to improve in these areas can be learnt and this is the foundation of NLP teaching that has grown into a multi-million dollar industry

How is this useful to PM’s

• For most Product Managers, knowing what you want, soliciting feedback, and making changes in response to this, are standard behaviours. So I will focus on building congruence and rapport

Congruence

• Congruence is when ‘everything complements each other’ and you know it when you get that “feel good” factor after a success presentation or business call (amongst others).

• Congruence is a powerful state as you feel committed, and it drives yourself and others to move ahead and get the desired outcome

• We all respond badly to incongruence as it leads to confusion (and often to lack of trust)– E.g. If he is so enthusiastic about the opportunity, why is he

slumped back in his chair?

How to develop congruence?

• Remember a time when you were congruent– How did you feel, what sort of sights and sounds does it conjure

up

• Pick two or more other examples, and identify anything in common

• Try to duplicate those conditions consciously– Example for me (prepared, suit, tie, shower, well lit and

structured (ordered chairs and quiet audience) environment

• It is also very importantly understand when you are incongruent, and take steps to turn this condition around

Rapport

• Rapport occurs when you build a good relationship with another person, and is built on mutual respect and trust

• Rapport is a powerful state as if we have strong rapport with someone we are willing to be influenced by them

How to develop rapport?

• Rapport comes with a willingness to try and understand the other person from their point of view

• Building rapport comes from:– Taking a genuine interest in the person– Being curious about who they are and how they think– Being willing to see the world from their point of view

• It’s helpful to identify the persons preferred method for sensing the world (and yours!)

Identifying a preferred sensing style

Touch• Use statements

like “I feel this is”• Cannot be at

ease with a product or concept until they can touch or feel it

• Often may touch colleagues on the shoulder, or be the first to shake hands or applaud

Sight• Use statements

like “I see what you mean”

• Have a need to visualise a product or concept

• May view out into the distance, or even down on the ground as they visualise in their own mind

Sound• Use statements

like “I hear what you say”

• Listen intently to a description of a product or concept

• Often may direct their ears towards the speaker, enjoy radio and podcasts etc

Using to build rapportTouch

• Mirror the “I feel this is” statement

• Turn up at meetings with a demo model (even sticky backed plastic will do!)

• Warmly greet, shake hands and applaud

Sight• Mirror the “I see

what you mean” statement

• Use white boards, photographs, sketches, anything to help visualise your message

• Give the recipient time to visualise in their own mind

Sound• Mirror the “I hear

what you say” statement

• Be careful in your choice of words, and solicit understanding and questioning

• Select quiet locations, and if possible time for “1 to 1’s”

Additional notes on rapport

• In some circumstances (e.g. when working in groups) our preferred sensing style can change

• Be interested in the other person, imagine that they have a great gem of knowledge they wish to impart to you

• Analyse relationships where you do not have rapport, find where the mismatching occurs and try to turn this around

NLP in building PM excellence

• For Product Manager’s demonstrating commitment and building influence within organisations is essential to getting things done, as there is often little structural authority

• NLP helps, as it provides tools that can be consciously used to build congruence and rapport, enhancing others trust, and their willingness to be influenced

• For maximum benefit, NLP techniques should be used consistently, and also add to your palette of tools (there are lots covered in the literature) to enrich the experience and improve effectiveness

Action plan

• Please give NLP techniques a go, and have a look at websites and reference literature on this topic– A very good reference book is “NLP Workbook” by Joseph

O’Connor

• Do let me know how you get on, and what improvements you see(You may be surprised how quickly some of the tools

work!)

Is NLP really that new?

Put the argument into a concrete shape, into an image, some hard phrase, round and solid as a ball, which they can see and handle and carry home with them, and the cause is half won

- RALPH WALDO EMERSON, Society and Solitude, 1870

Any Questions?