Coping with Anger

Staying in Control

What is anger?

• Feelings?

• Behaviors?

• Thoughts?

• Physical symptoms?

What really “bugs” you?

• In your notebook, list about 5-6 things that make you angry.

• Rate your anger as “low”. “medium”, or “high”.

• People feel angry when they feel out of control.

• People get angry when they want something they can’t get.

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• It is important not to bottle up angry feeling inside.

• Instead you should find ways to calm yourself.

Staying in Control…

The Warning Light

1. Picture a light inside your head. Imagine that it flashes a warning when you need to stop and think before speaking or acting.

2. Remember to check your light whenever you are in a situation that is making you angry.

1. Take a deep breath and start counting slowly to yourself.

2. Keep listening to the other person as you count. Don’t provoke him or her by revealing what you are doing.

3. Look the other person in the eye.

Counting to 10

Self-Statements

Sometimes just telling yourself not to get angry can help keep you calm.

Examples:• I don’t have to let this get to me.• I don’t need to fight about this.• I can handle this,• I can stay calm.• I enjoy feeling calm and in control.

Reframe

Get a picture of the situation that’s making you angry. Then put a different frame on it. As yourself questions like these:

• Is this worth getting angry about?

• Am I sure this person is really out to hurt or insult me?

• Is there another way to get what I want?

Summary

• Feeling angry is a normal reaction to threatening situations

• Many situations can provoke anger in people.

• Anger has recognizable symptoms.

• Allowing anger to get out of control can escalate conflict

• Techniques exist which can help people control their anger.