MODULE 8 TELEVISION TRANSCRIPTSClive Then what happened?Tom I went to the garage to complain. I thought the

1 CONSUMERISM

A MAKING YOUR DREAMS COME TRUEClive How’s your new car?Tom It’s fantastic.Jilly A toy for a boy!Tom Louise, you ought to come for a ride in my car.

Louise I would be embarrassed if I had a car that was so bad for the environment.

Tom It’s very fast.Louise I don’t care.

Tom And it’s big. Do you know I’ve always dreamed of having a car like that.

***Salesman This car is a dream.

Tom Yes. How did you know?Salesman It’s every man’s dream. They see a car like this

and they dream of driving it with a beautiful woman in the passenger seat. You know, most men only dream. They are frightened to drive a car like this. You see, it’s safer to dream.

Tom Yes.Salesman You know, few men are brave enough to make

their dreams come true.Tom It’s a beautiful car, but it’s ...

Salesman Turn on the stereo ... It sounds great, doesn’t it?Tom Wow! ... It’s a beautiful car but it’s just a bit too

expensive. Of course, if I had the money, I’d buy it.

Salesman Let’s go for a drive ... just for a few minutes.Tom But I haven’t got the money.

Salesman Just for fun.***

Greg Tom, the bank is happy to lend you the money for this new car.

Tom Great ... It’s beautiful, isn’t it? It’s going to change my life.

Greg Really?Tom It’s going to give life meaning.Greg Tom ...Tom Look at it. It’s got class.Greg Can I talk to you as a friend rather than as your

bank manager?Tom Sure.Greg What the hell are you doing? This is a very

expensive car. Do you know what the insurance on that thing will be?

Tom Do you know how fast it goes? One hundred and thirty-five miles an hour!

Greg And what about petrol?Tom You’re just jealous. You have your Sondeus, but

secretly you dream of this car. Greg, you have to be brave to make your dreams come true.

***

car was under guarantee.Clive Didn’t you read the small print on the contract?Tom I didn’t read it carefully enough.

***Tom Oi! I’ve had a lot of trouble with this car.

Salesman She’s like a race horse.Tom It doesn’t work.

Salesman An animal like this needs a lot of attention.Tom Well. I haven’t the time or the money.

Salesman She’s a lovely lady!Tom How much will you give me for it?

Salesman I can give you three thousand pounds.Tom But I paid seven thousand for it.

Salesman Well, yes, but it’s not easy to sell a car like this nowadays. People want more practical cars.

Tom But you ...Salesman It’s the cost of the insurance and the petrol

consumption.Tom You said every man dreamed of this car.

Salesman Well, yes, every man dreams about it. But only a foolish man would buy it.

***Tom She’s a beautiful car.

Marco I’ve always dreamed of a car like that. If I had a car like that, I’d ...

Tom If you bought this car, Marco, you wouldn’t have to dream. But have to be a brave man to make your dreams come true.

Marco Yes.Tom Let’s go for a drive.

Marco I’d buy it if a could afford it. But I can’t. I can’t afford it.

Tom Come on. Just for fun.

B MAKING COMPLAINTS

Street interviewsTamsen The last time I complained about something I

was travelling by train, and my train was late, and I complained and the man was horrible. He said, ‘Why are you bothering to complain? The trains are always late.’ But I still complained.

Nigel I think the last time I complained was when I didn’t get enough beer in my glass, I asked for some more, and they happily gave me some.

Lucy I remember when I bought a dress from a shop and it was of inferior quality, so I took the dress back and I complained, and they gaveme the money back straightaway.

Gareth I don’t think the English complain enough –they always accept what’s given to them. ButI, for example, complained about my car when the mechanic didn’t fix it, and I had to take it back.

***Louisa About six months ago, I went for a meal, and

there was a hair in it, so I complained and I got my money back.

***Keith I recently had loads of problems with my

video recorder, which kept breaking down,and it even destroyed one of the cassettes I put in it.

***Christopher Two months ago, I bought a pair of boots in

Cambridge. I took them home, put them on, but two weeks later, they’d fallen apart, so I took them back to the shop.

How to be BritishMike Very nice!John No, it’s not bad, is it?Mike It looks expensive!John Well, we bought it because it’s Georgian, 18th

century.Mike Georgian houses are always expensive, aren’t they?John We’ve always loved Georgian architecture. It’s so

stylish.Mike but it’s not cheap, is it? And it’s in a very expensive

part of the town.John Well, my wife wanted to be close to our son and his

wife.Mike Very nice ... if you can afford it.John Yes.Mike i don’t know how you do it.John The gardens need a little work, but we have a

gardener once a week.Mike gardens? A gardener! Well, you know, I’ve got a

good job, I’ve worked hard all my life, and I can onlyafford a small house at the other end of town.

John That’s too bad!Mike I mean this house must have cost ... three hundred and

twenty thousand pounds? Or more?John Oh! No! Nothing like that! Good heavens, no!Mike Well, a lot, then.John Well, I wouldn’t really like to say.Mike Go on – tell me, how much does a house like this

cost? Roughly. More or less. These days?John Well. I suppose a house like this, as far as I know,

would be about, roughly, in the region of, something like three hundred thousand pounds. More or less.

Mike Phew! You’re only interested in money, aren’t you?

News from the pastTrevor News, news. Oyez! First the headlines ...

Tobacco is smoked in the court of QueenElizabeth! ... Sir Walter Raleigh plants potatoes in Ireland! ... But our main story is about the tobacco brought back by Sir John Hawkins from the New World. Now over to our health correspondent, Sit Sydney Walsingham. Sir Sydney, how did this tobacco smoking start?

Sir Sydney Well, Trevor, it seems that the Indians in America started it. then Sir John Hawkins brought some tobacco back from the New

World and started smoking it in the court ofQueen Elizabeth.

Trevor So, why are so many people starting to smoke tobacco?

Sir Sydney Well, Trevor, I think it’s mainly fashion. The fashionable gentlemen started smoking, and now everyone wants to copy them! And, of course, some doctors think smoking is good for you.

Trevor how would I feel if I smoked some tobacco?Sir Sydney Well, Trevor, you’d feel sick. But they say that

you would get used to it.Voice Fire!

Sir Sidney This is a problem with smoking. Ordinarypeople often think you’re on fire. Back to you in the studio, Trevor.

Trevor And now for the rest of the news. Sir WalterRaleigh has always been seen as one of the cleverest people of the Elizabethan age, buttoday he did something that most people in thecourt are saying is very stupid. Sir Walter has taken this strange potato plant from the New World and has planted it in Ireland. People say the potato will be a very popular food in Britain! What will he think of next? That’s all the news from me. Goodbye.

From the archiveThose who sell, and all who manufacture what is sold, know that American women often have the deciding voice inwhatever we come to buy. They offer her the romance, the adventure, of choosing from foods gathered from the fourcorners of America, and indeed from all the world. All welllighted for selection, placed where she can reach them. Arranged for time saving as sell as money-saving selection, even though she may shop only once a week. Behind all she sees and buys, are suppliers, and suppliers of suppliers. Men and women who know how much the many pennies they save in handling what she buys, before she buys, may mean to her in individual purchases. These are pennies saved that enable her to give the family more for the penny. Looking for low price, she may be wiser than those who think the most is always the cheapest.

DOCUMENTARYGary (VO) London at Christmas. At this time of the year,

the commercial streets in the city become a paradise for consumers.

Sara (VO) According to tradition, it is bad luck to put up Christmas decorations before Christmas Eve. But the streets and the shops in London light up many days before then with millions of coloured lights that remain on until January6th.

Gary (VO) Big department stores known all over the world, such as Liberty’s, Hanleys, the toy shop, Harrods or Selfridges, spend huge amounts of money in order to have the most beautifully decorated shop windows.

Sara (VO) Much more money, however, is spent on presents. Giving presents is a tradition which

became common in Victorian days. Until then the custom was to give presents to children and servants on New Year’s Day or on the night of January the fifth. Nowadays presents are exchanged on Christmas Day.

Gary (VO) But just as important as Christmas shopping are the January sales. In some big department stores, such as Harrods, the first day of the sales has become a true ceremony. On this occasion, the countdown was initiated by James Bond himself, the actor Pierce Brosnan.

Sara (VO) Thousands of people go to the sales on the first day, hoping to find a bargain. The Januarysales can be a good opportunity to save somemoney, but also to spend too much on things we don’t really need or that are not very good quality. We asked Mr Cobden, a spokesman for Selfridges, one of the most important department stores in London, if he thinks it is a good idea to buy at the sales.

Mr Cobden The sale period is a very good time in which to buy products. All the products that we would keep on the shop floor during the sale period would be of first quality. We won’t be buying any second-quality products, and they would represent significant savings to any customer who comes into Selfridges.

Sara (VO) Do you think shops well different-quality products when they have a sale?

Mr Cobden There are some companies who are buying different products during the sale period. But in my two areas, as throughout the store, we keep exactly the same products on the shop floor during the sale period. Otherwise you’regiving two different kinds of stores out to your customers, which can be confusing.

Gary (VO) For five weeks, until the end of January, all shops cover their shop windows with posters advertising their sales.

Sara (VO) During the sales, the laws protecting consumers are still valid, although not all the shops respect them. That’s why we asked Mr Cobden if consumers’ rights are protected.

Mr Cobden Yes, there are laws have been passed by our Parliament, which protect consumers’ rights during sale periods and outside of sale periods. Within Selfridges we also have a Customer Care policy, where we will always be looking after customers’ rights, whether written into law or not.

Sara (VO) Do you think it’s necessary to protect consumers’ rights?

Mr Cobden I think it’s very important to protect our customers, and all customers, because not every company that’s on the High Street is as honest and as open as the big department stores that we have in London. So I think it’s critical.

Gary (VO) With a few exceptions, shopping in London is a real pleasure at any time of the year. Even at the sales, most shops follow one of the golden

rules of commerce, the rule that says that the customer is always right.

2 EARTH MATTERS

A ECOLOGY AND THE ENVIRONMENTAll Cheers!

Tom The traffic was terrible tonight.Clive It’ll be better when they’ve built the new road.Tom Aren’t they planning to build the new road

through Highfield Woods?Clive I hope they’re not. Those woods are beautiful.Jilly If Councillor Appleby wants the road to go

through the woods, then it will.Louise I’ve found out some interesting information

about Councillor Appleby – I went to see him yesterday.

***Louise Our readers are worried about this new road.

They want to know why it is going through an area of Special Scientific Interest.

Councillor The road has to go somewhere.Lousie Many of our readers say there would be no new

road.Councillor You are very naïve, Miss Case. i had hoped that

the editor of The Echo would send a more experienced reporter. Someone who understands the importance of local industry.

Louise You know, Mr Appleby, your brother interests me greatly.

Councillor My brother?Louise Yes. I understand, Mr Appleby, that your

brother has recently bought some land near Wentworth Road.

Councillor Yes?Louise That land is on route B.

Councillor I don’t know anything about that.Louise So, if route B goes ahead, your brother will

make a lot of money.Councillor Miss Case, please sit down.

Louise If the new road goes through Highfield Woods, my readers will be very interested in your brother’s land.

Councillor Miss Case ...Louise Thank you for your time, Councillor Appleby.

Councillor Miss Case ...***

Jilly That’s fantastic! Well done, Louise.Clive Louise, you’ve saved Highfield Woods.Jilly You’ve probably saved a lot of wildlife as well.

Louise I was really happy when I came out of Councillor Appleby’s office. But then the most awful thing happened ...

***Louise Yes! Yes! Yes! ... Oh, my God! ... I’m sorry.

Mother You’re not supposed to park on the pavement. Louise I know.Mother I can’t push the baby through here. I have to go

on the road. Your car shouldn’t be parked here.Louise I’m sorry.

Mother You don’t care, do you?Louise Yes, I do.

Mother No, you don’t.Louise I’m sorry. I was in a hurry.

Mother That’s the problem. Everyone is in a hurry.Louise I had a very important meeting.

Mother Oh, I’m sure it was very important. I had to push my baby in the road. We were nearly killed. Parking on the pavement shouldn’t be allowed.

Louise I’m really sorry.Mother And my baby has asthma. I think he has asthma

because of car exhaust fumes.Louise I’m really, really, really sorry. I am. I am so

sorry.Mother Something has to be done about the traffic in

this town. I’m going to write a letter to The Echo.

Louise Really?Mother That woman ... Louise Case ... she understands.

Case against the Car. She knows what she’stalking about. She’s the best writer on that paper.

Louise Louise Case?Mother You should read what she says. She’s an

excellent journalist. If you read what she’d said about global warming, you wouldn’t drive a car.

***Louise It was the most embarrassing moment of my

life. I felt awful.Clive You had to park somewhere.

Louise I’m sure she knew who I was.Tom Come on, Louise, you’re not that famous.

B RECYCLING

Street interviewsMrs Simpson Well, I recycle everything that I can, such as

newspapers and bottles, batteries too.Christopher At home, we recycle all our newspapers, and

all glass that we have, bottles, etc., we take to the bottle bank nearby.

Mrs Cornish We collect newspapers, tins and bottles for recycling.

Gareth I live with three people, and we save newspapers and take them back to berecycled and we also save tin cans and plasticbottles to recycle as well.

Louisa I drink a lot of canned drinks. I tend to put them in bins for recycling.

Tamsen I ... I don’t drive, so I suppose that’s good for the environment. I always take the bus or go by train or bicycle. I think that’s my main contribution to helping the environment.

Lucy Well, I never throw litter and I collect glass bottles when I use them, um and deposit them in bottle banks, but apart from that there’s not really very much I do.

Sean To protect the environment, I use unleaded petrol in my car and I sometimes recycle old newspapers, but I probably don’t do enough.

Nigel When I’m at home i Yorkshire, I help by restoring a local steam railway and planting trees alongside the track..

News from the pastTrevor News, news! First the headlines ... In one year,

over 30, 000 people die in London from the plague ... And the first coaches are seen on the streets of London! ... But the main story of the century is the terrible plague. Over to our health correspondent, Sir Sydney Walsingham. Sir Sydney, does anyone have any idea what causes this plague?

Sir Sydney Well, Trevor, doctors don’t agree. Some doctors are saying we’re being punished by God, others are saying it’s all in the stars. And one or two doctors say that the plague might be carried by the common flea.

Trevor The flea? But the flea is so small.Sir Sydney That’s right, Trevor. You see, fleas live on rats.

And the rats eat the dead bodies of the asnimalsand humans that are left in the streets. They say that is where the plague comes from. So, it’s back to you in the studio, Trevor.

Trevor And now for the rest of the news. The first coaches from Holland have arrived in London. Everybody wants one. Although they’re very uncomfortable, they keep the rain out. The new coaches, which are pulled by one, two or four horses, are already causing traffic problems in the city. Sir Walter said it took him over two hours to get to the Tower, and Queen Elizabeth herself has said that something needs to be done about the traffic problem soon. That’s all from That’s English! news. Goodbye.

How to be British Mike Isn’t it terrible? John What is?Mike The eight-lane motorway at the bottom of your

garden!John Yes, I’m afraid that it is quite a busy road, isn’t it? Mike It certainly is. You have to shout because of the noise. John I’m sorry?Mike I said you have to shout.John Yes.Mike There used to be such a wonderful view from your

house.John Yes, it is a bit of a shame that a few trees were cut

down.Mike A few trees! You used to have the most beautiful

forest at the end of your garden!John Yes, it was rather nice, wasn’t it?Mike It was full of wildlife.John Well, there were one or two wild animals in the trees.Mike And you had those birds, you know, the ones with the

green and red feathers ...John Ah, yes. Woodpeckers.Mike Yes. Are you still President of the Conservation

Society?John Yes. Wildlife interests me quite a lot, you know.

Mike And you’re a Director of the National WildlifeAssociation?

John Yes. Ah, well. Never mind, eh? It can’t be helped. The motorway had to go somewhere.

From the archivePresenter Its methods are often controversial, but

what is undeniable is that, as a pressure group, Greenpeace is often highly successful. In terms both of its campaigning and its publicity machine. On other issues, Greenpeace has stopped nuclear waste dumps, delayed missile firings and highlighted the issue ofwhaling. Supporters and sceptics do agree on one thing, in a quarter of a century of campaigning, Greenpeace has been amajor player in forcing the environmentfirmly onto the international agenda ... Jonathan Monroe, ITN, in the Bay of Biscay.

Voiceover In Red Square, some of the biggest names in rock spoke up for Greenpeace.

Annie Lennox It’s an absolute vital message and if people don’t get the message, I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next ten, twenty years or so. I mean Russia inparticular has tremendous, tremendous problems, ecologically like every other, every other country.

Man The Chernobyl disaster was responsible for a big change in attitude in Russia, and I think ... I know it’s a terrible thing, but I think that’s in a way why Greenpeace is being allowed in.

Chrissie Hynde They’re in a hell of a state here, they’ve got, got a lot of problems like, like the rest of the world.

Man People do talk very much about industrial problems um, air pollution, water pollution, agricultural uh, overuse of pesticides and fertilizers, but we really have an awful lot to learn here.

DOCUMENTARYGary (VO) In the last decades, mankind seems to

have started a race towards it own destruction. In the name of progress, trees are have been cut down, air-polluting factories have been built, thousands of tons of waste of all kinds have been produced, and sea-life has beendestroyed.But fortunately, in the last few years many organizations have been set up, willing to work for a world in harmony with nature. One of them is Greenpeace.

Sara (VO) These are the Greenpeace offices in London. The Department of International Communications is also based here. They make sure that information on all the

campaigns organized by Greenpeace reaches newspapers and television stations in the whole world.

Gary (VO) We asked Ms Blair Paleace, one of the people in charge of this department, to explain to us what exactly Greenpeace is.

Ms Blair Paleace Greenpeace is an international environmental organization. We are based in thirty countries and we were founded in 1971. We use direct action or protest tactics to raise the level of awareness about environmental issuesand to bring about positive environmental change.

Gary (VO) What are your main objectives?Ms Blair Paleace Greenpeace works on a number of

different campaign areas, as we call them. That includes toxics, toxic waste, thetrade in toxic materials. Nuclear issues, both power and weapons. Biodiversity, which involves everything from forests to fisheries and the marine environment.And finally, energy and atmosphere issues. That includes climate change and ozone depletion.

Sara (VO) Greenpeace was set up in 1971, to campaign against the nuclear tests thatthe USA were carrying out in the north ofAlaska.A small group of people decided to go to the testing area on a ship which they named ‘Greenpeace’. The name summed up the group’s philosophy: “We want peace, and we want it to be green”.That was their first action, which has been followed by many others.

Gary (VO) At present, Greenpeace has branches in over thirty countries in five continents, with more than five million members. Through peaceful but often very dramatic campaigns, they have managed to change the attitude of many people towards the environment. And what’s moreimportant, in all these years many national governments and private companies have come to accept their proposals.

Ms Blair Paleace Well, I think governments around the world have begun to recognise that environmental problems are a concern for everyone and that they must be addressed on the same level as many of the other problems facing the world. That’s a positive step forward, but making the changes necessary is often very difficult and very political. So not only must there be recognition, but there must also be the ability and the will to make the changes necessary.

Gary (VO) What has been Greenpeace’s contribution to this change in people’s attitudes?

Ms Blair Paleace Well, I’d say we’d like to think we’ve raised awareness globally about environmental issues, in particular in areas where environmental issues like whaling, nuclear waste dumping at sea, French nuclear testing in the South- Pacific islands. These issues that people might not otherwise see if Greenpeacehad not turned its attention to those issues and raised awareness about them by protesting the environmental problemswe see going on in those places.

Sara (VO) All the work of these last years hasn’t been in vain. In the United Kingdom, asin most industrialized countries, the green movement has become more influential.

Gary (VO) But we need something more than big campaigns to preserve the world we livein. Everybody’s help is needed. That’s why we asked what we can do to helpsolve the problems affecting the environment.

Ms Blair Paleace Well, I think the most important thing that people can do to help theenvironment is to be aware of environmental impacts in their day-to-daylife, to contribute where they can to bringing about change, whether that beusing less energy, or consuming less,whether it be goods or using less toxic materials, for instance. And then really recognising the role that we all play in the bigger environmental world.

Sara (VO) Today more than ever, the preservation of the environment is everybody’s responsibility. We mustn’t forget that, if we destroy nature, we are destroying ourselves.

3 MANY PEOPLE, MANY BACKGROUNDS

A A MULTIRACIAL SOCIETYTom Lasagna and French fries! What has happened to the

traditional English pub meal?Clive We’re Europeans now, Tom.Tom I don’t care if we are Europeans! I’m going to fight

to save the traditional English pub!Jilly That’s interesting. I had a girl in the office who

wanted to do some articles on ethnic food ...Jilly Recently I’ve been interviewing for trainee

journalists ....***

Alex Hello. Are you Jilly Partridge?Jilly Yes?Alex I’m Alex. I’ve come about the job as trainee

journalist.Jilly You’re Alex Peterson? I was expecting a man.Alex And you weren’t expecting a black person.Jilly Well, to be honest, we’ve never had a black person

working at The Echo.

Alex What about Joe?Jilly Who’s Joe?Alex He’s worked in the print room for fifteen years.Jilly Oh, yes. I don’t go in the print room much. Alex You should meet him. He’s a lovely man. Jilly Really?Alex Yeah, he’s my dad.Jilly Oh! ... Let’s talk in my office ... So, Alex, tell me.

Why do you want the job?Alex There are tens of thousands of people living in this

area who are black or Asian. And most of them don’t buy The Echo because it is racist. I want to change that.

Jilly Racist! What do you mean?Alex It discriminates against black people.Jilly No, it doesn’t.Alex I have talked to a lot of people in the black

community, and they say that your newspaper isn’t interested in black events or stories.

Jilly Black people are in the headlines sometimes.Alex Yes, you’re right. Today’s main story is about a

black man. The one who robbed the bank – bad news!

Jilly Most stories in the newspaper are bad news.Alex I think The Echo would sell more newspapers if it

were interested in multicultural events. Don’t you?***

Tom The problem is eighty or ninety per cent of our readership is Anglo Saxon.

Louise Well, I think we should change that – make TheEcho more multiracial.

Tom Some of our advertisers aren’t going to like it.Louise Really? Well, perhaps we should lose some of those

advertisers. We’ll get some new ones.Jilly Anyway, the girl had some good ideas.

***Alex ... and of course, a lot of young white readers will be

interested in ethnic music and dance. It’s not just black people that like reggae. Young people appreciate a multicultural society much more than older people. We were brought up in a multicultural society.

Jilly The Echo is a traditional newspaper.Alex I have never seen a West Indian or an Asian recipe

in the paper. I think some of your readers would like to try some of these recipes – you know, curries,fish creole ...

Jilly It’s a good idea. We’re doing a new cookery series next month.

Alex But I’m not just interested in writing stories about black people. I’ve got lots of other ideas. Here are some articles I wrote for a students’ magazine ...This was just a funny story about the worst pub food in the world.

***Jilly She’s starting work on Monday,. She’s going to

work as my assistant.Louise Oh, great. I’m really pleased. I’m sure the paper will

benefit.Tom I don’t think it matters if she’s black, white, green or

blue. But I want to know something that is

important!Jilly What?Tom Will she buy the drinks on Friday night?

B LIVING TOGETHER

Street interviewsKeith Racism is a problem in Great Britain today,

but I hope that in the future things are going to get better. I think that children are growing up together much more in mixed schools today, and that’s going to help a lot.

Christopher Yes, I do think there is a large problem with racism in Britain, and it’s certainly something that needs dealing with in the near future.

Derek I don’t think racism is as much of a problem as it used to be, say in the 1960s, when my parents first came, emigrated to England. I think now the problem’s lessened.

Mrs Simpson I think racism is more of a problem now than it was. It is um, it is not so bad as in many, many other countries, but it is, it is there, yes.

Nigel I think racism exists in this country, but I’m not sure how to deal with it.

***Dennis Racism I think, this is terribly difficult. It’s

got to be education, for a start. If you are ignorant you’re going to be prejudiced and it must be, it must start early in schools.

Vicki To fight racism, I think we should have a black prime minister.

Lucy I think racism is a problem all over the world and I think what we have to do is be conscious of it, and make sure that we as individuals are not racist.

Sean I think the first thing you have to ask yourself is, Are you racist? And if you are, then find ways to fight the racism in yourself.

Louisa Be open minded.

How to be BritishMike Do you think there are too many foreign people in

Britain?John I don’t know how many foreign people there are in

Britain. And I don’t care.Mike There are a lot. And there are going to be more. I

mean, would you shut the door?John Well, it’s politics. It doesn’t really matter to me.Mike Oh, I’m glad.John Another drink?Mike No, thanks. I’m fine. Well, what are the Conservative

Party’s views on immigration?John Are you sure you won’t have a drink?Mike No, I’m fine. Well, what about the Labour Party?John The Labour Party ...Mike Yes. Are you going to vote for them?John Er ... Am I going to vote for the Labour Party? That’s

rather a difficult question.

Mike You don’t like talking about politics, do you?John Who, me?Mike Yes, you.John Um, I don’t mind ... goodness me. Is that the time? I

must be going.

News from the pastTrevor News, news. News! First, the headlines ... An

Indian woman from the New World meets Queen Elizabeth! .... Tourists from all over Europe come to visit London! ... But first, the main story. Pocahontas, the young daughter of a Red Indian chief, met our gracious Queen Elizabeth today. Over to our court correspondent, Sir Sydney Walsingham. Sir Sydney, why has Pocahontas come to England!

Sir Sydney Well, Trevor, three years ago the English explorer, John Rolfe, met Pocahontas. He told her, ‘We’re going to get married and visit England.’

Trevor Were people shocked at this mixed marriage? Sir Sydney Well, Trevor, Pocahonta’s father did not want

her to marry. Pocahontas said, ‘I don’t care ifJohn’s skin is white, we love each other very much.’

Trevor And what did Queen Elizabeth think of her?Sir Sydney Her Majesty was amused, so everyone at court

is talking about the new Red Indian look.Trevor Do you think we’re going to see many more

interracial marriages in this country?Sir Sydney Well, Trevor, I don’t think so. This is an

exception.Trevor Thank you, Sir Sydney. Now for today’s other

story. The Welsh, the Cornish, the Scots and the Irish don’t like the English. They say they don’t want to be part of a multiracial Britain, butQueen Elizabeth says that the Irish problem will soon be solved. And finally, more tourists than in any other century are visiting London. And one of the main attractions is London Bridge. And the Tower of London is especially popular with tourists. That’s all from That’s English! news. Goodnight.

From the archiveVoiceover Idio Dunton was offered a job as an accountant

by a London based firm, but just before he was due to start, he got a call which he recorded, telling him the offer had been withdrawn after intervention from the company’s Managing Director.

Message To cut a long story short, he effectively said that if it was you, um yeah, he was going to make life very difficult, um, and I thought you were the ideal bloke for the job, you know, I was really looking forward to working with you.The company denies discrimination but paid him £11,000 in compensation.

Mr Dunton I don’t believe that the colour of your skin should debar you for making any sort of

progress. At the end of the day, it’s what you have up here, not what people can see on the outside.

Voiceover The Commission for Racial Equality says such discrimination is still rife, with many companies failing to ensure equality.

Presenter Today’s report shows that despite numerous statements of good intent, many of Britain’s leading employers are continuing to discriminate on racial grounds, leaving members of ethnic minorities twice as likely to be unemployed as their white counterparts ... Jennifer Nadel, ITN, at the Commission for Racial Equality.

DOCUMENTARYGary (VO) A walk around London is enough to realise

that Britain today is a multiracial society.Sara (VO) Four per cent of the population of the United

Kingdom are not of Anglo-Saxon origin, although nearly half of them were born in Britain.

Gary (VO) But many of those new British citizens may have had problems to integrate into British society. Let’s find out.

Gary (VO) This is an area where many people of Caribbean origin live. And this is Mr Lashley’s home.

Sara (VO) Errol Lashley arrived in Britain, from Barbados, in 1956. In Britain he got married and raised a family. From what we could see, his is also a multiracial family.

Gary (VO) We wanted to know what kind of problems an immigrants’ family has integrating into British culture.

Sara (VO) So we asked Mr Lashley if he felt different from an ordinary British person of the same social or economic status.

Errol Lashley I do not feel any different. I came here at a young age and I’ve adjusted myself to the culture of the British people. And so far I don’t feel any way different.

Gary (VO) Do you feel discriminated in any way?Errol Lashley No, not now. In the early days, I would say I

feel a little bit discriminated. But after going through the process of life here I think I’ve overcome that and I do not allow it to get to me, create any problems

Gary (VO) To find out more about discrimination, we chose a representative of the Indian community. She’s lived in Great Britain since 1972 and works as a translator.Have you ever felt any kind of discrimination?

Answer When I first came to this country, I did feel it. I went for a job interview and I was asked there whether in our country we had English typewriters or in Hindi typewriters. But they did not know how well cultured our country was. Another thing, if you are travelling on the tubes they don’t want to sit next to you.

That’s where I experienced it in the beginning. But now they have accepted us and I think it’s beginning to change.

Gary (VO) Do you think you have the same opportunities as an Anglo-Saxon person?

Answer No, I don’t think that at all. If I was to apply for a job and an English person was to apply for the job I’m sure I would be definitely discriminated against.

Gary (VO) It looks like China, but we’re still in the centre of London. We came to Chinatown to find our what problems the Chinese community has.

David Tan My name is David Tan, my surname is T-A- N, Tan, and I’m the Chinese Community Liaison Officer for Westminster City Council. I work for the people in the city, and I help them in every respect of their lives. It can be to do with schools, it can be to do with their businesses, with theplanning matters, and all that you can see in Chinatown itself proper. I assist families in interpreting and translation in schools.

Gary (VO) In your opinion, why is the Chinese community so closed?

David Tan As far as the older generation is concerned, the nature of their work makes them feel that they have to be part of their community, because ... the way they work .... by the timethey finish, most of other businesses are shut. So, consequently, they go to their own clubs and they have their own meetings. And that is why they have to keep close together. Also for help and guidance and especially the older generation has difficulties with the language problem.

Gary (VO) But in spite of all the problems mentioned, it is clear that these new British citizens, with their varied cultural backgrounds, are enriching the social and cultural life of the United Kingdom.

4 WE CAME TO AMERICA

A THE AMERICAN MELTING POTAll Cheers!

Tom To the weekend!All To the weekend!

Marco It has to be better than last weekend.Jilly Why, what happened last weekend?

Marco My American cousin and her boyfriend had invited themselves to stay. From the moment they arrived, it was a disaster.

***Marco Are you American, Eric?Maria Well, he’s a mix of different ethnic American

groups ... Isn’t he cute?Eric Maria ...

Maria You know, Eric is English, Dutch, German, African and Irish. Isn’t that right, Eric?

Eric That’s about it. Oh, there’s French as wellMaria But his racial groups are white, black and Cherokee.

That’s why he’s so beautiful.Eric Honey, do you have to talk like that?

Maria And his religious groups are Catholic and at least five types of Protestant ...

Eric .... and some of my cousins are Jewish.Maria Oh, yes, and he has some Jewish cousins.

Eric I just said that, honey.Maria And one of his cousins has married a Puerto Rican.

But we weren’t invited to the wedding, were we, honey?

Eric No.Marco Would you like an olive or lemon in your Martini?Maria We’d love an olive, wouldn’t we, honey?

Eric Yeah, an olive will be fine.Maria Isn’t he cute? Can you see the Cherokee bone

structure?Marco Yeah.Maria You look at his face carefully. Cherokee blood.

There’s ancient wisdom there ... somewhere. Isn’t that right, honey?

Eric Sure.Maria You know, Eric’s first ancestor to go to the New

World was Dutch ...***

Marco It was a big mistake to ask him if he was American.She didn’t stop talking. And he hardly said a world.

Louise I didn’t think that Americans were shy.Marco Well, he was shy, so she thought she had to talk

even more. An hour later, she was still telling me about the Jewish cousins.

***Marco So, Eric, how is your trip going?

Eric England’s nice.Maria Well, it’s a really nice place to visit, but it seems

slow. After New York, anywhere seems slow, doesn’t it, honey?

Eric Yeah.Maria Marco, you must come and visit us in New York.

You would love it. It’s just like being in Italy.Marco Yes. I’ll have to visit you one day.Maria You don’t have to sleep at night. there is always

something happening in New York. Isn’t there, honey?

Eric Yeah.Maria Yeah, and Eric always says the food in New York is

the best. There are so many different foods. You just have to come and see for yourself.

Eric Yeah.Maria It’s the most multicultural city in the world. In New

York, you have got the Chinese in Chinatown, the Italians in Little Italy ... then you’ve got the Latin American in the Barrio ...

Marco But do all those different cultures complement each other?

Maria What do you mean?Marco With a good soup, all the ingredients have to blend

together. You mustn’t have olive oil on the bottom, then the onions, then the tomatoes and then garlic on top. It’s not good that way. The soup tastes terrible!

Maria It sure does!Marco They call America ‘the melting pot’, but as long as

people live in ghettos, there will always be problems.

Maria Hey, Marco. What do you think of Eric? Isn’t he wonderful? Don’t you just love him!

Marco Yeah, he’s a great guy.Maria What do you think? Should Eric and I get married?Marco Well ...Maria No, come on tell me the truth.Marco The truth. Some people prefer an olive in a Martini

cocktail, but I prefer lemon. Lemon complements the Martini perfectly. I love lemon. Lemon with chicken can be wonderful. Lemon is beautiful, but you mustn’t put lemon juice in this soup – it will taste terrible.

Maria What are you saying?Marco I’m saying some people are suited to each other and

...Maria Eric and I?Marco Maria, do you love him? Maria He’s a really nice man. Marco Yes, but do you love him?Maria I know he doesn’t talk much, but he’s very

intelligent.Marco Yes, but do you love him?Maria You have to admit he’s handsome.Marco Sure, he’s handsome, but Maria, tell me. Do you

love him?Maria When we first met, I thought I was in love with him,

but ... I’m not sure any more.***

Jilly Sounds like a difficult weekend.Marco Yes, Eric and Maria both knew in their hearts that

their relationship had finished.Jilly That’s sad.

Marco No, it was OK: On Sunday night, we had a fewMartinis, and they agreed to be friends.

Jilly So, are you doing any marriage guidance counselling this weekend?

B AMERICA THROUGH BRITISH EYES

How to be BritishJohn Hi.Mike Hello.John How are you doing? Mike I’m fine, thank you. John My name’s Jack. Mike I’m Mr Jones.John Hey, that’s a really great shirt you’re wearing.Mike Thank you.John Did your wife choose it for you?Mike No.John Maybe you’re not married, eh?Mike No, I’m not.John My wife chooses all my clothes. What do you think

of them?Mike Well ...John Bad taste, uh?Mike Um ... Excuse me, I have to go.

John But I love her anyway. She’s great.Mike I must be going.John You know, she left me last year. I miss her so much.Mike Oh, no, you mustn’t cry. Not in the street.John I love her so much.Mike For God’s sake, man. You have to pull yourself

together!John Do you know why she left me? She said I never

expressed my emotions.

Street interviewsSean I’d love to live in America, I’d like to live in

New York particularly, I think it’s a very exciting city.

Gareth I would like to live in America, I like it because it’s so different from England. I’ve been to stay wit some friends in New York and I liked it very much.

Nigel I think I’d like to live in America for a while, but not permanently.

Christopher I think I would like to live in America, there are so many interesting people and so many interesting things to see.

Louisa I would like to live in America for their ice- cream, and their food is incredible. I also wouldn’t like to live there because I’d miss the English pub culture.

***Tamsen No, I wouldn’t like to live in America, it’s

too noisy over there. But Canada, I could livein Canada – it seems very nice on the television.

Mrs Simpson No, I wouldn’t like to live in America. I would love to visit it, um, but I think the pace of life, the, the difference, the different way they, they go about doing things. No, I wouldn’t like to actually live there.

Mrs Cornish No, we, we don’t like their way of living actually.

Mr Cornish Too fast, I think.Vicki I would not like to live in America because

of the violence I’ve heard about.Julia No, I wouldn’t like to live in America. I’d

like to visit it, but I’d like to stay living in England where there’s more history and my family are here.

News from the pastTrevor News, news. News! First, the headlines ...

Fierce fighting continues in America ... Spanish, English, Dutch and French try to settle inAmerica! ... And are the Red Indians reallyIndians? But first, the main story. There were reports of more fighting on the east coast of America between the Red Indians and the British colonists. Over to our foreign correspondent, Sir Sydney Walsingham. Sir Sydney, what exactly is the problem in America?

Sir Sydney Well, Trevor, when Sir Walter Raleigh arrived here, everyone thought that the native Indians

were very gentle, loving and kind. And theIndians thought that the strangers were gods.

Trevor Sir Sydney, you mustn’t wave that flag.Sir Sydney In the last few years, several boats full of

English people have arrived her. The settlers wanted to buy up As much land as possible. Unfortunately, the native Americans are saying the land is not for sale. They say the land shouldn’t belong to anyone. And it certainly shouldn’t belong to the English.

Trevor So what is going to happen?Sir Sydney Well, Trevor, the gentle Indian has become very

angry. So back to you, Trevor, in the studio.Trevor I hope you don’t have to stay there too long.

And now for the other main stories. It’s not just the English who are trying to exploit America.The Spanish are finding gold in centralAmerica, and the French and the Dutch are exploring North America. And finally, a report out today says that America may not be the same place as India. That would mean, of course, that the Indians in America aren’t Indians at all. It’s very confusing. That’s all from That’s English! news. Goodbye.

From the archiveOn the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty are carved the words:‘Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me’. A sweeping invitation that, inspired by immigrants and addressed to immigrants, and speaking today more directly than ever to the refugee. For hundreds of years, US immigration officers have painlessly shown the way to those who knocked at freedom’s door. But to a newcomer of Laing’s experience, all officialdom is fearsome. Can some oversight, some flaw, halt him now? What is the officer thinking? Am I suspected? These are slow, marching moments, leaden with old fear,anxiety is chronic with him. He must brace himself, so that the signing hand doesn’t shake. And then, through the burrs and blur of longing of hope and fear, he hears the officer saying that everything is in order, all is as it should be. Yes, he’s welcome here. Welcome, Johan Laing. Welcome to America.

DOCUMENTARYSara (VO) New York is said to be the capital of the

world. It’s a place where practically all races and religions are present. a third of the population of New York City have been born somewhere else.

Gary (VO) We decided to carry out a street survey. We asked a few people in the street where they came from. These were their answers.

Question Where do you come from?Answers From Israel.

I was born in Korea.Where do I come from? From SouthAmerica, Ecuador. I come from India.I was born in Warsaw, Poland. I come from Indonesia.Colombia. South America.I was born in South Korea.

I’m from Bangladesh.I was born right here, Manhattan.

Gary (VO) As you could see and hear, the diversity of accents and cultures is the rule in New York. Walking around the streets of this city is like going on a quick tour around the world.

Sara (VO) The ‘Big Apple’ is, in fact, a collection of smaller neighbourhoods where their inhabitants keep a great part of the culture and lifestyle of their countries of origin.

Gary (VO) One of the most typical ethnic neighbourhoods in Manhattan is ‘Little Italy’. Nowadays, it is just a few streets, but they have kept the characteristic atmosphere of the Italian way of life.

Sara (VO) Many streets in the old Italian quarter have been absorbed by Chinatown. This little oriental city, where even the telephone booths look like pagodas, lies right in the centre of Manhattan. In the local shops you can buy the same produce as in Beijing, and its inhabitants keep a great part of their customs and their culture.

Gary (VO) Not far from Chinatown you can find some of the most orthodox Jews in the world. The Jewish community in New York has always been very influential, and has kept their language and their religious traditions fervently.

Sara (VO) Hispanics occupy an important place in the Big Apple too. Everywhere in New York you can hear that strange mixture of English and Spanish called ‘Spanglish’.Hispanics are the fastest-growing ethnic minority in New York City. Puerto Ricans are the largest group, but there are also agreat number of Dominicans, Cubans andColombians.

Gary (VO) Harlem was planned as a district for the rich.The project, however, failed and it was theblack immigrants arriving in New York who finally settled here.Today Harlem is the most important black neighbourhood in New York. Most of the people living in it are black.

Sara (VO) New York seems to keep a difficult balance of races and cultures. That’s why we askedFrank Vardy if there are racial conflicts in this city.

Frank Vardy If there’s a key to New York and racism, it’s basically that New York is a tolerant city. Toleration is where New York is at. It’s always been that wa. In fact, although there are racial animosities and religious animosities across the world, when the immigrants from those countries come toNew York, those animosities are non-existent for the great part. In fact, if every they break out it’s front-page news, because they justdon’t occur in New York.

Gary (VO) Mr Vardy is a demographer in New York

City Hall. He knows the problems created by the mixture of cultures very well, and he knows how that affects the city’s way of life.

Frank Vardy The difference between New York and other towns is that New York has always had this influx from the rest of the world. It’s the amalgam of all of these particular flavours that make the New York experience. Because they never quite melt. There’s always enough of them showing through, whether it’s foodor it’s fashion, whether it’s language or it’s art, it’s culture, it’s theatre. They always have the flavour from other parts of theworld, and New Yorkers accept this willingly and are always ready to take advantage of something good that’s come from some placeelse.

Sara (VO) This is New York. The city of the thousand cultures, where no one feels a foreigner.

5 THE GREAT DIVIDE

A RICH AND POORTom Yeah, this is Tom Sykes. Could I speak to Ms

Niesson, please ... Yes it’s Sykes ... S-Y-K-E- S. It’s regarding the shares in ...

All Cheers!Louise What’s Tom doing?

Clive He’s got some financial information about a company. He thinks he’s going to make lots of money.

Jilly Do you know, I saw this homeless girl this morning. She asked me for money.

Marco Well, that’s not unusual these days.Jilly No, but when I first saw her, I thought I knew

her ...***

Juliet Have you got any change? Just a few pennies?... Have you got any change?

Jilly No.Juliet I’m hungry.

Jilly I’m sorry.Shop owner Good morning, madam.

Jilly I am interested in the green coat in the window.

Shop owner Would you like to try it on, madam?Jilly Thank you.

Shop owner Isn’t it awful?Jilly Sorry?

Shop owner All those homeless people in the street. they should do something about it.

Jilly Yes, there are more and more of them.Shop owner I didn’t mind it when there were just one or

two, but ... ah, I think this should fit you perfectly.

Jilly Something ought to be done about the homeless.

Shop owner Yes, as far as I’m concerned, the police should move them.

Jilly Where to?

Shop owner I don’t care. They ought to be moved to somewhere where we don’t have to look at them.

Jilly I’m sure they don’t want to be homeless. No one wants to sleep on the streets.

Shop owner No? if she’d wanted to, she could have got a job. But she prefers to sit around all day ... It’s a very good fit on the shoulders, madam. Have a look in the mirror.

Jilly Yes. How much is it?Shop owner Two hundred and thirty pounds.

***Jilly Do you know, I would have bought the coat if

that homeless girl hadn’t been there. I was really worried about her.

Clive Yes. I always think one day it could be my children on the street.

Jilly I thought I knew the girl. And then Iremembered ...

***Shop owner It really suits you, madam.

Jilly It’s too expensive.Shop owner That’s why I hate the homeless. They look at

my customers with such sad, pathetic faces. They make my customers feel too guilty to buy a nice coat.

Jilly Maybe you’re right. Thank you for showing me the coat. Goodbye ... Do you remember I wrote a story for The Echo about you?

Juliet No.Jilly Three years ago, you were the youngest

woman working in the stock market.Juliet Yeah ... So?

Jilly Look, if you tell me what happened, I’ll give you some money.

Juliet Yeah? All right then. Well, I mean, to start with, everything I did was right. Whatever I touched turned to gold ...

Jilly I remember.Juliet My bosses gave me more and more

responsibility. I could speculate with millions of pounds each day. Things started to go wrong when you wrote your article in TheEcho.

Jilly Me? Why?Juliet You called the story “The Golden Girl”! It was

a joke, but I started to believe it. And then my luck changed. I started losing millions of pounds. And then I lost my job.

Jilly But I’m sure a bright girl like you could find another job.

Juliet No other company in the City wanted me. I owed a lot of money. When my boyfriend left me, I lost hope.

***Jilly She lost her confidence and started to feel

sorry for herself.Clive It’s tragic.Jilly You know, if I hadn’t interviewed her, she

wouldn’t have lost her job.Clive Nonsense! It’s not your fault ... Who were you

talking to?Tom My stockbroker.Clive And?Tom She said my shares are going to go up and up.

That phone call should make me a few thousand pounds.

All Great!Tom You parasites!

B HOMELESSNESS

Street interviewsTamsen I come from Brighton where homelessness is

a big problem, so because I’ve worked with the homeless, I always try to give them money whenever I can.

Mrs Simpson There is homelessness in, in St Albans, but not a lot of it, and there are two or three wonderful organisations who help these people and provide lodgings for them, um, and it’s not so bad as in London.

Mrs Cornish It seems to be a problem, we haven’t seen it, but, um it’s recorded as such so it must be.

Keith There’s a big problem in London at the moment with homeless people, there are lots of people sleeping on the streets and I think it’s the Government’s fault. The Government don’t care. But there is a newspaper inBritain called The Big Issue which homeless people sell to earn themselves some money. I think it’s a very good idea.

***Julia I think The Big Issue’s a really good idea. It

gives the homeless a chance to get some money, and I’ve bought it several times when it’s been offered to me.

Christopher The Big issue is a very good idea. It helps the homeless get off the streets and back into society. By doing something for themselves, they get an awful lot of pleasure from it I’m sure.

Nigel I think The Big Issue is a good idea, but people possibly think that by buying it, it’ll solve homelessness and that’s not necessarily true.

***Louisa In terms of who’s to blame, I think partially

the Government, um maybe their background, I don’t understand, a lot of homeless people tend to, um, run away from home for one reason or another.

Gareth Homelessness is a big problem in England. I work in a centre where homeless people can come for tea and coffee and food. I think it’s a problem because so many mental hospitals have been closed as a result of Government cuts in funding, so, until the Government changes its policy, I think it’ll be a problem.

Lucy With regards to who is to blame for the homeless, that’s such a huge question, I mean, partly, partly, the government, partly

the individuals themselves, but I mean it’s not a problem that’s going to go away very quickly.

From the archivePresenter Early evening in South London. Young homeless

wait to be let into a night shelter in a converted pub. It’s this or sleeping on the streets, shivering in West End doorways. If you are sleeping rough or staying in temporary hostels, you can’t register with a doctor, and a new survey released to Channel 4 News, shows that homeless people have far great health problems than the rest of the population. At first glance, this looks like an ordinary doctor’s surgery, but the big differenceis that all the patients here are homeless. In fact, the doctor, a Roman Catholic nun, set it up specifically to catch a group of people who’d fallen through society’s most basic safety net.

Nun Oh, I think I’m jack of all trades here. I think in the work I do here, we have to go beyond the ordinary boundaries of medicine, um, to be mother, nurse, there’s all sorts of things like that, and my staff as well. Sometimes we just listen. My patients are people who are homeless from the streets, people who live in bed and breakfast hotels, people in hostels, living in squats, staying with friends, just sleeping on the floor. I think in the majority of cases it is not the person’s fault they are in this position of being homeless, and I think a lot of the services are inadequate. The biggest increase has been in the roofless homeless, those who are literally without anyhome at all, that’s 20% and three years ago it was only 6%.

News from the pastTrevor News, news. First, the headlines ... Ordinary

metal may be turned into gold! ... Homelessness on the streets of London! ... It is now legal to charge interest. But first, tonight’s main story. Alchemists in the City of London have been trying to turn ordinary metal into gold. Over to our economics correspondent, Sir Sydney Walsingham. What’s the story, Sir Sydney?

Sir Sydney Well, Trevor, some very clever young men here in the City of London are going to turn ordinary metal into gold.

Trevor When?Sir Sydney Any minute now.

Trevor Are you sure? The alchemists have been promising to turn metal into gold for he last hundred years.

Sir Sydney I hear that they will make gold very soon. In fact, I’ve just given Dr Goodfellow some money to help him finish his experiments!

Trevor There have been reports that alchemy is just a way of getting money from rich, old men who are greedy.

Sir Sydney Have there? Where from?Trevor Well, Sir Cecil Buckingham said that he had

given the alchemist Dr Goodfellow thousands of pounds.

Sir Sydney Dr Goodfellow ... Oh, dear ... He seemed such a nice man ... I say ... Dr Goodfellow! Dr Goodfellow!

Trevor Thank you, Sir Sydney. And now for the rest of the news. A report out today says that there are more homeless people in England than in any previous century. Unemployment is the main problem. Experts say this is because the population has almost doubled, to four million, in the last hundred years. And finally, until recently it has been illegal to lend money and then charge interest. But from today, anyonecan charge interest. If I’d known that yesterday, I wouldn’t have borrowed the money to give to that alchemist. That’s all the news from That’s English! Goodnight.

How to be BritishMike That was a wonderful meal, wasn’t it?John Yes, but I wish you hadn’t complained about the

meat.Mike Why? It can be dangerous to eat meat that isn’t

properly cooked!John I would rather have died than complain to the waiter.Mike Why?John Everyone was listening. Mike Twenty-six pounds. John Let’s pay half each.Mike No, no. I’ve brought my calculator.John Please, not on the table!Mike Did you have two bread rolls with your soup?John Yes.Mike And how many glasses of wine?John Two.Mike Waitress! I’d like a menu please. I want to check the

prices.John Oh, God. I wouldn’t have come if I’d known you

were going to do this. Let’s just pay half each.Mike Do you think that’s fair?John I don’t know. It’s not important. People are looking.Mike I like things to be fair. You should pay for what you

eat.John If I’d known this would happen, I would never have

come here. Look, I’ll pay for the meal.Mike That’s very kind of you! Thank you!

DOCUMENTARYSara (VO) Until quite recently, David was one of the

many homeless people living on the streets of large British cities. Penniless, without a job and with no family, he was forced to depend on people’s charity and to sleep rough.

Gary (VO) But now David has got a job. He sells The BigIssue. But what exactly is The Big Issue? Lucy Russell explains it to us.

Lucy Russell It’s a magazine which is sold by homeless people, who, every time the magazine is sold, they earn forty pence of the cover price. They buy the magazine for thirty pence. So it’s a

way for homeless people to earn an income of their own and to begin to help themselves to move away from their homelessness and back into society.

Gary (VO) Lucy Russell has been in the staff of the Big Issue since the magazine was founded. So we asked her to tell us when and how The Big Issue started in Great Britain.

Lucy Russell The Big Issue started in September 1991, and it was started because the chairman of The Body Shop International went to New York and saw someone selling a similar publication, and he came back to this country and he asked John Bird, who is The Big Issue’s editor, to start a similar initiative in this country. And the Body Shop gave the money to start The Big Issue here.

Sara (VO) Today, that initiative allows thousands of homeless people to obtain enough money to make n honest living.

Gary (VO) But The Big Issue is more than that. Through the magazine, homeless people can express their opinions. All the big problems of modern society are discussed openly in the magazine. The articles are written by both professional journalists and homeless people.

Sara (VO) The Big Issue finances itself through donations, publicity and the sale of the magazine. All profits are used to help the homeless.

Gary (VO) Besides publishing the magazine, the organization runs residences for the homeless, gives them counselling and vocationaltraining to help them get off the streets.

Sara (VO) The salespeople follow a training course which gives them useful techniques to sell the magazine in the street.

Gary (VO) For many, it’s only a temporary job that will help them get through a bad period. For others like David, it has become a very interesting job.

David It’s an interesting job, to say the least. You meet all sorts of people. And you’ve got the interaction back that you don’t have when you’re on the streets and you are actually a beggar. People just walk past and you’re the scum. But that doesn’t happen any more because you get people known you as for what you are and what you, more or less, what you can contribute, you know, ratherthan “Oh, here he comes, he’s the scum of the earth!”. So I love that. For the fact that it’s brought by the social interaction, which I had lost before, as a beggar

Sara (VO) The magazine is distributed throughout the United Kingdom, although Wales, Scotland and Manchester have their own special edition.The ideas has been so successful that similar magazines have been created in other European countries to help the local

homeless.Gary (VO) The Big Issue started as a project full of hope.

Today it has become a reality, surpassing themost optimistic predictions. We asked Lucy Russell to tell us about hat they’ve achieved with all these years of work.

Lucy Russell The result for homeless people is that they have a means of earning an income and they also have social support which we offer them because homeless people need social support, whether it’s housing or counselling. Also we have a magazine which is a good read and which people want to buy, so we have two things that have come from The Big Issue that are very successful.

6 WHAT DO THE BRITISH READ?

A A GOOD BOOKAll Cheers!

Clive Have you got tomorrow off?Louise Er, no. I’m working. Clive, look. Do you see

that man over there with the sunglasses?Clive Oh, yes! That’s Ron Carter, isn’t it? Big Ron.

Louise Yes. Big Ron. Billy the Hat’s friend.Clive Billy the Hat! He’s coming out of prison

tomorrow.Jilly Didn’t five years go by quickly!

Marco I don’t think Billy the Hat would agree with you.

Loise I hear he’s been reading a lot of books in prison.Clive I can imagine his old friend Ron down at the

bookshop.***

Bookseller Can I help you, sir?Ron Yes

Bookseller Er, and how can I help you?Ron I want a book.

Bookseller Yes, well, we have lots of books. What kind of book would you like?

Ron I don’t know, do I? That’s why I want your help.

Bookseller Is the book for you?Ron Are you trying to be funny?

Bookseller No. Well, then, who is the book for?Ron It’s for The Boss. He’s out tomorrow.

Bookseller Out?Ron Yeah, he’s been in for five years.

Bookseller In?Ron Yah. In

Bookseller In p-prison?Ron Yes. But they say he’s a different man.

Bookseller Oh, really?Ron They say Billy’s been reading books and

studying while he’s been in. You know, he had never read a book before he went to prison.

Bookseller Hadn’t he?Ron So I thought I’d buy him a little welcome home

present.Bookseller That’s nice. Well, then, let’s see. How about

this set of Shakespeare?Ron Shakespeare? I’ve heard of him. Is he any

good?Bookseller He’s dead now. He was a playwright who lived

four hundred years ago.Ron What the hell are you trying to do? Just because

I didn’t go to school, you think you can sell me a book written four hundred years ago? I wantsomething modern.

Bookseller I see. Fiction or non-fiction?Ron What do you mean, ‘fiction’?

Bookseller Fiction is made-up stories. Stories that aren’t true.

Ron Listen, if you give me any of your made-up stories, I’ll make you eat these books.

Bookseller OK, non-fiction. What about biography? TheLife and Times of Al Capone?

Ron Al Capone? Do you know what happened to AlCapone? He came to a bad end.

Bookseller What about this?Ron What is it?

Bookseller Oh, I’m sorry. It’s Famous Murderers of the20th Century. With pictures.

Ron Now, that sounds good … No. It’s a shame, but the boss doesn’t like violence.

Bookseller Well, what abut the occult?

B DO YOU READ A LOT?

Street interviewsNigel I don’t read books that often, uh, and most of

the books that I do read, uh, are for my study. Books to do with economics and management, I’m afraid.

Julia I like reading fiction, but while I’m studying Idon’t have much time to read.

Tamsen I used to borrow all my books from the library, but then I worked in a bookshop and since then, I always buy new books because they’re nicer.

Sean I never read books.Christopher I like big, fat novels that I can take my time

reading.***

Keith I like crime novels and detective novels because I like a good suspense story.

Mrs Cornish I like to read murder mystery, crime books.Derek I like to read mainly science fiction books.Louise I like romantic novels.

Vicki Children’s stories, like Noddy, um, I also likeStephen King’s thrillers.

John Short stories, um, novels and, um, local history, but not, not too serious.

Ron Is that popular?Bookseller Oh, yes! There’s this marvellous new book …

MrsSimpson

I like historical novels. I like books about nature.

I’m sure it was there just a minute ago. Strange… Oh, never mind. I think your boss will like this.

Ron What is it?Bookseller Agatha Christie. She’s very popular.

***Clive I don’t think all that reading would have

changed Billy The Hat?Tom Neither do I.

Louise I disagree. I think good literature improves a person.

Marco Poetry’s good for the soul.Tom Oh, yes! I’m sure that Billy the Hat’s been

reading a lot of poetry!***

Bookseller Oh, hello.Ron You like books, don’t you?

Bookseller Yes.Ron Good!

Bookseller Why?Ron Because I’m going to make you eat some of

these books.Bookseller What’s wrong?

Ron The last page of the Agatha Christie is missing.Billy doesn’t know who’s done the murder. He’s very angry.

***Jilly Billy the Hat is a changed man.

Louise Oh, that’s excellent!Jilly In fact, I heard from the police that Billy is no

longer called Billy the Hat.All Really?

Jilly They’re calling him Billy the Book.

Mr Cornish I like war and historical books.Gareth I like fiction most of all, but I do read non-

fiction, for example, I’m reading books about theology and philosophy at the moment.

HOW TO BE BRITISHMike Excellent! That’s … that’s very funny! He’s a

marvellous writer! … What’s your book like? Is it any good?

John Mmm.Mike So’s mine. Wonderful book! I can see that you love

reading, don’t you? … So do I. I read all the time. You know, I sometimes get through two or three books in a year! … Have you read any good books lately? … You’re racing through that one, I see … How many pages have you read? Two hundred!

John Look. Do you mind? I would like to finish this book.Mike Of course you would! Fine! I like a good book. But

this isn’t a good book. It’s rubbish! … Have you seen any good films lately?

News from the pastTrevor News, news! First, the headlines … The book

world under attack! … And writer William Shakespeare writes a new play! Bur first the main story. Books are in trouble! For a special report, over to our media correspondent, Sir Sydney Walsingham, a member of the Star Chamber.

Sir Sydney Trevor, I’m in St Paul’s Courtyard, where all the booksellers meet. Many people here are unhappy about the censorship of books by the Star Chamber.

Trevor Why is that, Sir Sydney?Sir Sydney Well, Trevor, most authors want to have the

freedom to write anything that they want. But we at the Star Chamber look at every book very carefully in case it contains anything against the Church or the State.

Trevor What happens if you find something that you don’t like?

Sir Sydney We burn the book.Trevor What if the writer complains?

Sir Sydney We burn the writer and the book.Trevor That seems rather cruel.

Sir Sydney Perhaps, Trevor, you would like to put your thoughts into writing. I’m sure we, at the Star Chamber, would find your opinion very interesting.

Trevor No, thank you, Sir Sydney. And the other news tonight is that a new play called Romeo and Juliet is being performed at the Globe Theatre. Some people believe that a new, young playwright and poet, William Shakespeare, will soon become a very famous writer. Somehow, we doubt that. And finally, here’s something new on the market. It’s a ‘pencil’, and it could make life a lot easier for writers everywhere. That’s all from That’s English! news. Goodnight.

From the archiveTerry Jones A lot of these books are all little self-contained

worlds, I mean you’ve got Chaucer’s worldand the world of the fourteenth century and one of the things that fascinates me is that,there it is, it’s happened, it can’t change. it’s just there and you can read as much as you canand try and get to know it. It’s not our world, it’s another world and we, the similaritiesfascinate me, but it’s always the other worldsthat fascinate me, so it’s fantasy and myth that fascinate me, it’s science fiction … This stuff down here, it’s all getting into, um, a more tools of the trade, really, it’s sort of dictionaries, and, uh, and all that kind of thing. Course, the great thing about dictionaries is you, you don’t have to read them all. I just think that when you want the, you can look them up. Actually the thing about my book shelves, looking at them now I realise that really, I’ve hardly read any of the books. I think, um, it’s all a bit of a substitute for reading, really. You know they’re mostly reference books and all sorts of interesting books over here. Sex in History, Sex not in History. Really there’s one other book which I haven’t mentioned and that’s this book here, it’s the, the Powerbook. Ah, really all these books around me, they’re all sort of going around, I suppose going into here, and then going onto this book, and then I type away and um, another book comes out, um. Funny to think that this will kind of end up on one of

these shelves, and I’ll probably never read it.

DOCUMENTARYGary (VO) If you are fond of books and find yourself in

London, we suggest you go to a walk around the Charing Cross area.

Sara (VO) There are dozens of bookshops … women’s bookshops … second-hand bookshops …

Gary (VO) Or, even, ethnic bookshops, where you can find books in languages other than English.

Sara (VO) Of course, there are also bookshops specializing in music, art, architecture, or design.

Gary (VO) This is a true paradise for book lovers.Sara (VO) In this area there are also huge bookshops

taking up several floors, where you will no doubt find the book of your dreams …

Gary (VO) According to the latest statistics, eighty thousand books are published every year in the United Kingdom.

Sara (VO) The British are the second most avid readers inEurope.

Gary (VO) Fifty-three per cent of the population say that “the library is the most popular cultural resource outside home”. Much more popular even than the cinema.

Sara (VO) The fact that most people in Britain prefer reading to going to the cinema shows they are avid readers. But which are the most popular kinds of books?

Gary (VO) To find out we interviewed someone who, because of her job, has very recent information on the topic: Judith Bell, Assistant Manager of Dillons, one of the main bookshops in London.

Judith Bell They tend to read lots of different things. But at the moment, the most popular things are thrillers, people like John Grisham. But also well-known authors who have a proven track record, people tend to wait for the book next from that author. Biographies are also very big at the minute. Famous people. Everybodywants to know what their lives were like, their childhood, so people tend to read that sort of things.

Sara (VO) Are they all British writers?Judith Bell No, they’re not. There are some British writers

that are big names, like Julian Barnes, etc. But they’re mostly American at the moment. People tend to look to American authors. Sometimes French and occasionally South- American authors like Márquez. But mostly American and British.

Sara (VO) We couldn’t avoid asking which Spanish orLatin American writers British people prefer.

Judith Bell Márquez is probably the biggest name here and people read anything by him. And alsoAllende. A few other lesser-known names, but those two are the ones that people always lookto buy.

Gary (VO) There was a new kind of books that caught our attention: audio books.

Sara (VO) How do you account for the success of audio books?

Judith Bell Audio books have only just taken off within the last couple of years. Although they are shortened versions of the books, people stilllike to listen to them. They’re easy to take on holiday. If you are not feeling very well, they will sit and listen. Often people with pooreyesight … they’re very handy for that as well.

7 POLITICAL CORRECTNESS

A SAYING THE RIGHT THINGAll Cheers.

Tom To the fair sex!Jilly That’s not very PC, Tom.Tom PC? Politically correct! What nonsense!

Louise It’s not nonsense. Journalists ought to be politically correct.

Tom I don’t care about being politically correct.Jilly It’s important.Tom Why do people want to change the words that we

use?Louise Because some of the words that we use are

offensive.Tom OK. Yes, I can accept that, but some people take

political correctness too far. I had a girlfriend once. Her name was Tanya …

Louise Girlfriend!Tom Oh, all right, a woman friend. I really liked her. I

told her that I loved her. I thought about her all the time. She was beautiful.

Louise Tom!Tom Well, she was. Unfortunately she was also

politically correct. The most politically correct girl, Imean woman … I mean person, in the world.

Tom When I first met her she said that I wasn’t allowed to open the door for her.

***Tanya What are you doing?

Tom I’m opening the door for you.Tanya I’m strong enough and clever enough to open the

door for myself, thank you very much.Tom I was being polite.

Tanya don’t be polite, it’s patronising.Tom I’ll go first then.

Tanya No, you won’t … What are you dong?Tom I’m sorry. I was trying to be polite, again. I’m sorry.

***Clive How long did you go out with Tanya?Tom Not very long.

Marco I’m not surprised.Tom She came to my house a week later. I had made a

big mistake …***

Tom … I didn’t remember that I had a poster of DemiMoore on my wall.

Tanya Oh, no! I don’t believe it. What is this?Tom It’s a picture of Demi Moore, you know, the film

star.

Tanya I can see that – but what’s it doing on your wall?Tom Well, I like her. I think she’s beautiful – don’t you?

I like to look at her … face.Tanya That’s typical! You shouldn’t look at her like that!

Tom Like what?Tanya You know perfectly well what I mean. You think

women are there just to be looked at by men, don’t you! It’s so sexist. How can you possibly have a picture like that in your house?

Tom Look, are you telling me that men shouldn’t look at beautiful women?

Tanya Yes, Tom, that’s exactly what I’m telling you. You should take that picture down right now.

***Clive So, what did you do?Tom In the end I decided that the picture of Demi Moore

was less trouble than the real Tanya. So I left the picture up, and Tanya walked out of the door. I still don’t know if I did the right thing.

Marco I think you did!Tom Later, I discovered that her mother was chairman of

Echo Group of Newspapers.Louise Chairman! Chairperson, please. Or if you like, you

can just say ‘chair’. But she’s a woman: how can she be a ‘chairman’?!

Tom I’m sorry, chairperson. Er, chair. Anyway, if it hadn’t been for Demi Moore, I could have been editor of The Echo by now.

Clive I doubt it! And if you were, you’d have to be a lot more careful about the language you used.

Tom Would it be all right if I offered to buy you a drink?Louise Yes, Tom, of course it would. Why do you ask?

Tom Oh, well, you can’t be too careful these days, can you, Ms Case?

Louise I hate being called Ms Case.Tom Miss Case, then.

Louise No, Tom. As you are buying me a drink, you can call me Louise.

B THE DUCKING STOOL

Street interviewsTamsen No, I’m not politically correct. I try to be, but it’s

really hard. I mean, people get offended if you open doors for them, things like that, sometimes it just gets silly.

Nigel I’m not conscious of being politically correct.Sean I think I’m politically correct. I would always talk

about black people not just blacks.Vicki I’d have to say no, I’m not politically correct.John I don’t think I’m very politically correct, no, I

think I tend to use things, words like ‘crippled’ and‘cripple’.

Gareth I never use politically correct language. I always say chairman not chairperson, and I always say Mrs or Miss not Ms, so I’m not politically correct.

***Louisa I think the concept of calling everybody ‘Ms’ is

ridiculous, I’m not married, I am a ‘Miss’, I, I’d like to called a ‘Miss’.

Julia I don’t like being called ‘Ms Allen’, I prefer to be

called ‘Miss Allen’.Lucy I definitely prefer to be called Ms, um, and I do

think I’m politically correct. I think you have to be as a young person.

***Keith I think that politically correct language is actually

a very good thing most of the time. I think that using chairperson and not chairman, is a question of respect for women and I think that people that don’t like politically correct language have the problem.

Dennis Well it’s silly, I think, this business of, uh, the substitution of person when you say, instead of saying a chairman or even a chairwoman, it’s got to be a chairperson or even a chair, uh, it seems to me that it’s, um, it really is a bit of nonsense.

John Words like ‘mentally challenged’ come in, you really have to think twice before you know what it means.

From the archiveNick Ross Well, I have to say I’m very confused about it

all, but there is now a dictionary available that tells us how you can tell someone in the most correct terms that they are what, horizontally challenged …

Presenter … fat …Nick Ross … or financial disadvantaged …Presenter … broke. I love it, I really do. Here’s the man

who’s written that book, he’s Nigel Rees. Hello.Nigel Rees Good morning.Presenter Why did you write it?

Nigel Rees Ah, because I’m interested in language, and the thing about politically correct language is that it’s watering the language down, it’s replacing good old straightforward, descriptive words andterms with rather vague ones.

Nick Ross So why does it happen then?Nigel Rees Um, the reason behind the politically correct

movement is that, uh, we live in a plural society made up of many races, we are, we are all minorities of one sort or another, and the basic aim of political correctness, I think is a goodone, it is that we should think about how we talk to people and how we describe people. The trouble is that introducing these new terms notonly waters down the language, um …

Nick Ross Some of them are plainly absurd, aren’t they?Nigel Rees That’s it. It’s gone too far, uh, some of these

suggestions are barmy and the thing is that you can never actually tell people to change the way they speak.

How to be BritishMike Have you got your eye on anyone?John What do you mean?Mike I mean, do you fancy any of the girls?John The girls! They’re women.Mike All right. Do you fancy any of the women?John Look, can you talk more quietly?Mike Why?

John I don’t want my wife to hear you.Mike Why not?John She says that you’re politically incorrect.Mike That’s ridiculous! Look at Sally! She’s got fantastic

legs.John You’re not allowed to talk like that in this house!Mike You have to train hard to get legs like that.John I won’t let you talk like that. She’s not an object, you

know.Mike She’s got a good body, though.John Stop it! Just stop it!Mike But it’s not just her body, she’s intelligent as well …

Look how she’s running. She’s sure to win a gold medal.

John Yes, you’re right. She’s a marvellous runner.

News from the pastTrevor News, news! First the headlines … Woman

drowns in river … Our gracious Queen mayhave the heart of a king. But first, tonight’s main story. A man accused his wife of talkingtoo much. In court today, she was sentenced to the ducking stool. Over to Sir SydneyWalsingham, who has the full story. Sir Sydney,what exactly happened today?

Sir Sydney Well, Trevor, the husband told the court that his wife talked all the time. His wife said that she didn’t talk all the time. The husband then called his wife an old witch, and the judge sent her to the ducking stool.

Trevor What exactly is the ducking stool?Sir Sydney Well, Trevor, as you see in this picture here, it’s

a kind of chair which can be lowered into the water. If the woman sinks, then she’s innocent; if she floats, then she is guilty of being a witch.

Trevor And did the man’s wife float?Sir Sydney No, I’m afraid not, Trevor, she drowned. But

everyone had a very good time here. People in the villages really seem to enjoy the ducking stool It’s like a public holiday. Back to you in the studio, Trevor.

Trevor A report out yesterday said that men are far superior to women, with the exception, of course, of our Queen Elizabeth. The Queen said today, ‘I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King’. That’s all from That’s English! news. Goodnight.

DOCUMENTARYGary (VO) Sara insisted on giving me examples of

politically correct language on the way to the studio.

Sara (VO) Listen, Gary. How would you describe the physical aspect of that man who’s coming towards us, the man in grey clothes with glasses?

Gary (VO) A short man.Sara (VO) No. The politically correct term is ‘a

vertically-challenged person.’Gary (VO) And what’s the politically correct term

for that funny-looking fat jogger? Sara (VO) He’s ‘a horizontally-challenged man’. Gary (VO) Sara, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to use

politically correct language.Sara (VO) Don’t give up, Gary. Let’s see. How

would you describe the colour of the woman with the shopping bags?

Gary (VO) She’s a white woman.Sara (VO) No, according to the dictionary of

political correctness, you must say ‘a non-coloured person’.

Gary (VO) And the woman who’s helping her? Isuppose you mustn’t call her ‘black’.

Sara (VO) No. What is politically correct is to call her ‘a sun woman’.

Gary (VO) Sara, I think I am now an expert in politically correct language. Can you see that happy man with a beet can in his hand?

Sara (VO) The drunkard, you mean?Gary (VO) No, he’s not a drunkard. He’s just ‘a beer

gourmand’.Sara (VO) Very funny, Gary, but wrong. The

correct term is ‘chemically inconvenienced’.I don’t think you are taking the subject seriously, Gary. Although political correctness might sometimes overdothings a little bit, it has very positiveaspects.

Gary (VO) Sara was convinced I hadn’t understood it very well and took me to the offices of The Guardian, where we interviewed Mr Page, who is responsible for making sure that the articles are written in politically correct language.

Gary (VO) Could you please describe what politically correct language is?

Mr Page Well, I suppose it’s showing sensitivity to certain groups who feel that they are disadvantaged or haven’t been given a fair showing in the press, or in the magazines or in the media generally.

Gary (VO) When and how did the idea of a politically correct language start?

Mr Page I mean … I suppose it’s emerged over something like the last fifteen to twenty years, and much more strongly in the last ten years, as groups, I mean, women,gays, disabled people, handicapped people, have made their case much more vigorously and asked for the media to take their interests into account.

Sara (VO) Mr Page’s explanations convinced Gary. Gary (VO) That’s why I took Sara to interview Mrs

Anne Mayne, a feminist. Women are oneof the groups that historically have suffered the abuse of discriminatory language.

Sara (VO) We asked her why it’s important to use politically correct language when

referring to women.Mrs Anne Mayne It’s very important to use what you call

politically correct language because it is important to treat women with respect and to give them the full rights as human beings and not to speak about them in a degrading way.

Sara (VO) Could you give us some examples of politically incorrect language in relation to women?

Mrs Anne Mayne Well, women … the names that women are often called are names of animals. They’re called ‘chicks’, they’re called, er… cows, they’re called ‘bitches’, and even though I have no problem with the animals. It’s a form of degradation, itmakes the women appear to be inferiorand it is an insult to call women these names. And often it is used as a joke and it is actually not a joke, it is an insult.