conflict: the art of moving forward

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CONFLICT CONFLICT The Art of Moving Forward The Art of Moving Forward David A. Zimmer, PMP, MCP, ITIL, CCP David A. Zimmer, PMP, MCP, ITIL, CCP David A. Zimmer, PMP, MCP, ITIL, CCP

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Page 1: Conflict: The Art of Moving Forward

CONFLICTCONFLICT The Art of Moving ForwardThe Art of Moving Forward

David A. Zimmer, PMP, MCP, ITIL, CCPDavid A. Zimmer, PMP, MCP, ITIL, CCPDavid A. Zimmer, PMP, MCP, ITIL, CCP

Page 2: Conflict: The Art of Moving Forward

Copyright © 2011 David A. Zimmer, PMP, Warrington, PA

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval systems or transmitted in

any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or

otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright

Act, without the prior written permission of David A. Zimmer, PMP.

Trademarks: All trademarks are the property of their respective owners.

References to the Project Management Institute’s Project Management Body of Knowledge

(PMBOK) pertains to the Fourth Edition © 2008.

If you have any questions about this paper, contact us:

David A. Zimmer, PMP, MCP, ITIL, CCP

Warrington, PA 18976

Ph. +1/215.491.2544

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2

15 April 2012

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Conflict: The Art of Moving ForwardConflict: The Art of Moving Forward

Copyright © David A. Zimmer, PMP, All Rights Reserved Page 3

Conflict:Conflict:Conflict: The Art of Moving ForwardThe Art of Moving ForwardThe Art of Moving Forward

CC onflict. The very mention of the word sends people scurrying. Many fear

conflict. We avoid conflict at all cost. It is something to be resolved and

then never mentioned again.

But here is an idea. Without conflict, nothing moves forward, nothing progresses

and we remain stagnate. Think about it. If it were not for conflict, we’d remain

the same. No advancement.

Consider driving. If there were no pressure applied to the gas pedal, the car

wouldn’t go. If the transmission were not put in Drive and its gears ground

against each other, we’d stay put. If the tires didn’t push against the pavement,

we’d never move.

Therefore, we see there is good conflict and bad conflict. It is how we react to

the conflict that determines if it is positive or negative. In fact, we can have both

at the same time. Using the tire example on our cars, the pressure of the tire on

the pavement and its spin determines our movement, yet the mere fact of the

pressure on the pavement also wears the tires. Conflict can be exhilarating and

abrasive.

Our job is to determine if we move forward or backward.

Permit me to expand this thought just a bit more. They say necessity is the

mother of invention. What causes the necessity? The feeling of conflict of not

having what you need at the time you need it. To overcome the feeling, we

create the next great invention. Conflict, therefore, is the grandmother of

invention.

Five Laws of ConflictFive Laws of ConflictFive Laws of Conflict

L et’s spend a bit of time understanding the nature of conflict. We’ll learn we

need to resolve some conflict, while at the same time, we need to

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Conflict: The Art of Moving ForwardConflict: The Art of Moving Forward

introduce conflict. We’ve already seen conflict is both bad and good. It can

wear us down or move us forward. In many cases, we decide its effects on us.

In times of bad conflict, we must determine how to turn it into good conflict —

something holding us back versus something pushing us forward. Many times,

what appears as a negative situation is simply a positive event turned inside

out. Don’t misunderstand. We are not playing word games or mental contortion

here. We are not simply substituting the word “opportunity” for “problem” so

prevalent in our organizations these days. Using understanding, we turn a bad

situation into an opportunity for advancement.

Let’s understand the Five Laws of Conflict in more detail:

Law #1. Where Two or More Are Gathered, There Law #1. Where Two or More Are Gathered, There Law #1. Where Two or More Are Gathered, There

Will Be ConflictWill Be ConflictWill Be Conflict

I t’s true. Anytime two or more people are together, you’ll experience

difference of opinion, mannerisms,

styles, personalities, cultures, backgrounds,

genders, ethnicity and so forth. Each is a

point of contention. Each can generate a

friction point which can erupt into positive

or negative feelings. It’s simply a fact of

life.

Whether it is business life or personal, we

bump and grind against others’ ideas,

character traits and opinions. It happens.

The key is to not get stuck there, but to

leverage the disagreement for something

better. Using proper methods, we produce

5 L5 L5 LAWSAWSAWS OFOFOF CCCONFLICTONFLICTONFLICT

LLLAWAWAW #1: W#1: W#1: WHEREHEREHERE TTTWOWOWO OROROR MMMOREOREORE AAARERERE GGGATHEREDATHEREDATHERED, T, T, THEREHEREHERE WWWILLILLILL BBBEEE CCCONFLICTONFLICTONFLICT

LLLAWAWAW #2: I#2: I#2: IFFF TTTHEREHEREHERE IIISSS NNNOOO CCCONFLICTONFLICTONFLICT, B, B, BEEE AAAFRAIDFRAIDFRAID ——— BBBEEE VVVERYERYERY AAAFRAIDFRAIDFRAID

LLLAWAWAW #3: T#3: T#3: THEREHEREHERE ISISIS GGGOODOODOOD CCCONFLICTONFLICTONFLICT ANDANDAND TTTHEREHEREHERE IIISSS BBBADADAD CCCONFLICTONFLICTONFLICT

LLLAWAWAW #4: Y#4: Y#4: YOUOUOU MMMUSTUSTUST RRRESOLVEESOLVEESOLVE BBBADADAD CCCONFLICTONFLICTONFLICT ANDANDAND YYYOUOUOU MMMUSTUSTUST PPPROMOTEROMOTEROMOTE

GGGOODOODOOD CCCONFLICTONFLICTONFLICT

LLLAWAWAW #5: W#5: W#5: WHEREHEREHERE TTTHEREHEREHERE IIISSS NNNOOO CCCONFLICTONFLICTONFLICT, T, T, THEREHEREHERE IIISSS NNNOOO PPPROGRESSROGRESSROGRESS

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Conflict: The Art of Moving ForwardConflict: The Art of Moving Forward

Copyright © David A. Zimmer, PMP, All Rights Reserved Page 5

better results than originally anticipated. Ideas sharpen ideas. Discussion

generates greater outcomes.

Of course, it’s not always simple. Resolving negative conflict is key to

greatness.

Law #2: If There Is No Conflict, Be Afraid Law #2: If There Is No Conflict, Be Afraid Law #2: If There Is No Conflict, Be Afraid ——— Be Very AfraidBe Very AfraidBe Very Afraid

I f there is no conflict, there is complacency. The opposite of success is not

failure, but complacency. Lack of desire. Deficiency of passion. Low energy.

Forward movement requires motion. Without it, we

stagnate.

Conflict produces progress. For example, many people

require deadlines to prioritize their work. As soon as

deadlines are established, conflicts begin to arise. One

article must be finished just prior to another, which doesn’t

leave enough time to finish the second. Under the gun, the

person presses hard to complete the first task so he has

time for the second.

Or a child’s basketball game impinges on the report’s

deadline resulting in working late into the evening to finish it

before the next day’s 9:00 am presentation.

Conflict between people is natural. If a team experiences no conflict between

its members, it means people don’t really care. High-performing teams will have

conflict. The difference between a high-performing team and a low-performing

team is the manner in which they deal with the conflict.

The low-performing team will experience backbiting, anger, resentment,

unresolved issues, personal insults and more. The high-performing team will

see it as an opportunity to fine-tune ideas, generate new ones and gain the

best result because of the conflict.

No conflict is a sure sign that no one cares enough about the situation to put

up a fight or express a contrarian opinion. Mediocre results and settling for

“good enough” is the norm.

We, as good stewards of the situation, cannot sit idly and let it slip into apathy.

We must introduce conflict to stir the pot.

Law #3: There is Good Conflict and There is Bad ConflictLaw #3: There is Good Conflict and There is Bad ConflictLaw #3: There is Good Conflict and There is Bad Conflict

W e’ve already mentioned there is good conflict and bad conflict. Conflict,

inherently, is neither bad nor good. It just is. How we react to it, and

then more importantly, what we do with it determines if it is good or bad.

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Conflict: The Art of Moving ForwardConflict: The Art of Moving Forward

For example, looking at personal interaction where many people feel the barbs

of conflict, we can see how personal attacks are bad. But, if the person being

attacked does not react, but is proactive in dealing with the issue, the situation

can be defused and the purpose or motive behind the attack can be remedied.

Unfortunately, in personal attacks, our feelings and egos react first resulting in

impoliteness, insults and other unacceptable behavior.

When a person steps back and controls the situation in a positive way, the

problem can be isolated and solved. Granted, it may take time and lots of

discussion, but the net result should be better than when it started.

Here is a key we need to understand. We must identify bad conflict and resolve

it while recognizing the times when to introduce good conflict.

Bad conflict is not always audible or visible. As stated earlier, apathy and

complacency are forms of conflict but don’t appear to be “confrontational.”

They are just as deadly to us as a full onslaught of argumentativeness.

Additionally, there are times when we seem to have complete agreement on a

topic and everything is progressing smoothly, but we need to introduce conflict.

The idea is to drive the very best from our team or group, further refine our

topic, or simply conduct further due diligence to uncover anything that has not

surfaced to this point.

We will learn the various methods of detecting conflict, provide a variety of op-

tions to resolving it, suggest when to introduce it and then how to drive the

process to conclusion. For leaders of teams, whether the team is as small as

two or much larger, conflict management is a key skill to know.

Law #4: You Must Resolve Bad Conflict andLaw #4: You Must Resolve Bad Conflict andLaw #4: You Must Resolve Bad Conflict and

You Must Promote Good ConflictYou Must Promote Good ConflictYou Must Promote Good Conflict

I t is a statement of the obvious that bad conflict is bad and good conflict is

good. We must resolve the bad and promote the good. We’ve already

discussed the truth of this axiom.

Bad conflict engenders bad feelings, hurt emotions, animosity, and worse. If

not checked, the conflict can grow more negative

within a person to the point of anger and other

poor behavior, sometime even dangerous

intentions. While no one likes looking down the

barrel of a gun, unresolved bad conflict becomes

similar in nature. You never know when it might go

off with dire consequences. We’ve seen news

headlines of tragedies occurring because a person

had unresolved anger, felt slighted or didn’t get

what they felt was properly theirs. We’ve even coined phrases to identify those

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Copyright © David A. Zimmer, PMP, All Rights Reserved Page 7

circumstances as “going postal,” “going ballistic,” “having a moment or an

issue,” and other idioms.

On the other hand, good conflict can actually leave someone with a feeling of

accomplishment, success or being productive. Having a conversation where

both sides voice their opinions without any personal attacks or innuendos can

produce a feeling of euphoria. Producing a better product, service or result

since one idea improved another idea, or new method is devised can happen

because of the problem solving nature of the discussion.

Many times in corporations, meeting participants can fall into a trap of myopic

reasoning or becoming a single-mind (referred to as “group think”), so new or

better solutions escape discussion or examination. As a result, we miss better

opportunities or processes and settle for an inferior solution. Unfortunately, we

are all prone to succumbing to group think and miss the opportunity to interject

a contrarian viewpoint.

Law #5: Where There Is No Conflict, There Is No ProgressLaw #5: Where There Is No Conflict, There Is No ProgressLaw #5: Where There Is No Conflict, There Is No Progress

W e stated progress is made from conflict. If we had all we ever needed

in life, never had to go anywhere, no problems existed and felt no

pressure, in other words, no conflict, why would we get out of bed in the morn-

ing?

Some say it might be for the morning run. But why run? While it might clear

our minds and produce the endorphins that create a feeling of well-being, we

do it to keep our bodies in shape and healthy. If I have no desire for the

healthy lifestyle and like my current body physique, running holds no interest

and therefore, there is no desire to run. I snuggle that much further under the

covers warding off the sunshine in my eyes beckoning me to another day.

We are built for progress. When we ask students in our seminars how many

want to be working the same job five years from now, none raise their hands.

They want to move on, progress to newer things or gain more responsibility.

When asked how many want to be solving the same issues or problems, again,

none raise their hands. They want progress.

Problem solution, new discovery, and forward progress result from the conflict

between what we have and what we want. Conflict shows itself through

problems, challenges, situations to be solved and sometimes, as uneasy

feelings. When we “fix” the issues, we make progress. If there is nothing to

solve, no conflict between the present and the future, there is no need for

progress. Conflict provides the motivation to move ahead.

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Conflict: The Art of Moving ForwardConflict: The Art of Moving Forward

Let’s Define ConflictLet’s Define ConflictLet’s Define Conflict

W e’ve described conflict and we’ve discussed situations of conflict, but

we have not defined what conflict is. Before we go further, let’s define

what we mean. No discussion is complete until we’ve formally defined it.

According to Answers.com, the definition of conflict is

CCCONFLICTONFLICTONFLICT (((NOUNNOUNNOUN):):):

1.1.1. A A A STATESTATESTATE OFOFOF OPENOPENOPEN, , , OFTENOFTENOFTEN PROLONGEDPROLONGEDPROLONGED FIGHTINGFIGHTINGFIGHTING; ; ; AAA BATTLEBATTLEBATTLE OROROR WARWARWAR

2.2.2. A A A STATESTATESTATE OFOFOF DISHARMONYDISHARMONYDISHARMONY BETWEENBETWEENBETWEEN INCOMPATIBLEINCOMPATIBLEINCOMPATIBLE OROROR ANTITHETICALANTITHETICALANTITHETICAL PERSONSPERSONSPERSONS, , , IDEASIDEASIDEAS, , ,

OROROR INTERESTSINTERESTSINTERESTS

RRRESULTSESULTSESULTS: : : TENSIONTENSIONTENSION

We see conflict has a military overtone, a fight or struggle. Two warring

factions. We’ve used analogies of two people having a disagreement, tires

rubbing against the pavement as they push the car forward and even the

internal struggle of a person. Conflict comes in many different forms, sizes and

colors. Conflict can come out of nowhere or somewhere. Bad conflict just seems

to happen while we must do something to produce good conflict.

We see from the definition, conflict produces uneasiness. It puts people in a

mode where they can’t remain because it is too uncomfortable. Essentially, it

gets them “off the dime.”

Interestingly, the definition of conflict has a negative bent, yet we’ve claimed

conflict can be good. How can that be? As we’ve already mentioned, conflict

removes the “roadblock” of group think which stifles thoroughness of thought.

By putting people in an uncomfortable position, their thinking gets altered and

new thoughts begin to emerge.

So we see conflict can be used to move forward or it can cause us to remain

stuck in the current position. What is the difference between good conflict and

bad conflict? Let’s compare bad against good conflict:

BBBADADAD CCCONFLICTONFLICTONFLICT PPPRODUCESRODUCESRODUCES::: GGGOODOODOOD CCCONFLICTONFLICTONFLICT PPPRODUCESRODUCESRODUCES:::

AAANIMOSITYNIMOSITYNIMOSITY PPPROBLEMROBLEMROBLEM SSSOLVINGOLVINGOLVING

HHHURTURTURT FFFEELINGSEELINGSEELINGS CCCOLLABORATIONOLLABORATIONOLLABORATION

GGGRUDGESRUDGESRUDGES BBBETTERETTERETTER PPPRODUCTIVITYRODUCTIVITYRODUCTIVITY

SSSNIPINGNIPINGNIPING TTTEAMWORKEAMWORKEAMWORK

HHHOSTILITYOSTILITYOSTILITY RRRELATIONSHIPELATIONSHIPELATIONSHIP

FFFORCINGORCINGORCING MMMUTUALUTUALUTUAL RRRESPECTESPECTESPECT

CCCOMPROMISINGOMPROMISINGOMPROMISING TTTRUSTRUSTRUST

Contrasting Bad vs. Good ConflictContrasting Bad vs. Good ConflictContrasting Bad vs. Good Conflict

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Copyright © David A. Zimmer, PMP, All Rights Reserved Page 9

We can see bad conflict does not produce positive results. Any one of those

results sabotages our ability to create a team environment and gain the results

we want. Rather, productivity suffers because of the negative environment and

people feel many destructive emotions.

On the other hand, good conflict produces the traits of high-performing teams,

the qualities we need to produce the results we want and the environment

conducive to positive emotions and forward progress.

Traits of Bad ConflictTraits of Bad ConflictTraits of Bad Conflict

H ow do we recognize traits of bad conflict? What are the tell-tale signs? Of

course, many times we can “hear” it by the words and tones of people,

but sometimes, negative conflict is silent. Here are a few identifiable

characteristics:

Personality Focused,

Disrespectful,

Self-Centered and Self-Focused,

Non-Adaptive, and

Destructive

Rather focusing on the issue, an “attacker” might focus more on a person,

personality traits, or other personal peculiarity. Instead of attacking an idea, he

or she might attack the person. It can be an obvious verbal slander, a

condescending tone, gesture or body language and more. No matter how it

manifests, the attacked person feels belittled, maligned, embarrassed or

inferior. It’s not enough to simply say, “get over it.” Enough of these attacks

and the person will no longer contribute causing us all to lose.

Unfortunately, we see these traits all too often. Or sometimes, we see them in

a different manner. They might be exhibited as

Superior Attitude,

Domineering,

Over-confidence,

Boisterous or Loud,

Obnoxiousness, and

Arrogance.

A common thread for all these traits is the desire to “win” through negative

actions. The person using these tactics causes negative conflict resulting in

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diminished productivity and undesirable environments, which could lead to

undesirable results.

Traits of Good ConflictTraits of Good ConflictTraits of Good Conflict

G ood conflict presents itself in a different manner. During good conflict,

you’ll observe

People are Result Focused,

Respectful,

Centered on Others,

Humility,

Team Attitude,

Adaptive, and

Constructive.

The team is looking to “win” for the common good, not for a particular person.

Victories are shared, not personalized and progress is promoted.

According to the Project Management Body of Knowledge — Fourth Edition,

published by the Project Management Institute, bad conflict will exhibit itself in

the following ways:

Forcing

Smoothing

Withdrawing, and

Compromising.

Forcing Forcing Forcing ——— DominanceDominanceDominance

Forcing is pretty easy to identify. Usually it is not

physical with someone twisting another person’s arm,

but is more verbal or emotional. Sometimes the verbal

diatribe is easily heard because of the volume, but

many times, it is simply the tone. As parents, we

some t imes r e so r t t o t h i s t a c t i c t o

discipline our children, although it is not always the

best way to handle the situation. In emergencies, a

leader gives directives which some might consider

forcing.

In a work situation, very rarely is this method

acceptable. It should not be permitted to happen in

meetings or similar situations.

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To resolve such a situation, a facilitator — an objective third party — can help

both sides focus on the important issues and keeps the forcer from the

improper behavior.

Smoothing Smoothing Smoothing ——— Minimizing DifferencesMinimizing DifferencesMinimizing Differences

Smoothing involves diminishing the differences people are experiencing. Rather

than discussing the issues and coming to a better conclusion, the participants

minimize the disparity and do not resolve anything. Such a remedy results in

issues surfacing later. Emotions are not settled. Solutions don’t exist. In

addition to the original issue, new ones get created. Essentially, smoothing

only covers the wound with a band-aid while the infection festers beneath the

surface.

To resolve smoothing, a facilitator must engage both sides to focus on the

differences. In doing so, the facilitator will introduce additional conflict to

overcome the original conflict. The goal is to eliminate the source of conflict

and create a satisfactory result.

Withdrawing Withdrawing Withdrawing ——— Backing Down or Walking AwayBacking Down or Walking AwayBacking Down or Walking Away

Withdrawing is the classic where someone blows up and storms out of the

room. They withdrew themselves from the situation. Sometimes, a person

simply becomes quiet and no longer puts up a fight. He

or she may be quiet on the outside, but on the inside, he

is fuming. This might look like a “forcing” situation, but

in actuality, the participant has acquiesced. He hasn’t

given up, he’s simply quiet.

This situation needs to be defused. It is still a volcano

ready to erupt, usually at the worse moment. To resolve

the situation, the participants should wait a short period

of time to get emotions in check, write down the root issues and then discuss

them. A facilitator can help direct the conversation to stay on track and keep

personal attacks at bay. By discussing the issues and keeping emotions in

check, both parties can come to resolution.

Compromising Compromising Compromising ——— Giving Up NeedsGiving Up NeedsGiving Up Needs

Everyone knows what compromising is. In fact, we believe we should

compromise over differences so we can solve the situation. Unfortunately,

compromising is not really good. Why? Because we have to “give up”

something in order to achieve. As a result, we feel short-changed, but we salve

the feeling by saying we did it for the good of the situation. Unfortunately, after

enough compromising, we don’t feel satisfied anymore.

Some people confuse compromising with negotiation. Negotiating is completely

different. In negotiating, we first decide our needs, wants and “chips” — those

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Conflict: The Art of Moving ForwardConflict: The Art of Moving Forward

things of importance or value to the other party that don’t matter much to us.

In negotiating, we use our chips to show the other side we are willing to

cooperate by giving something of value to them. They, in turn, do the same.

The “wants” are desirable attributes of the deal, but are not necessary. As in

buying a car, we might decide the top-end stereo system would be nice, but

we’re willing to give it up in order to lower the price.

Once we’ve given up all our wants and tossed the chips, and if we have not

reached agreement with the other side, we walk away from the table. We do

not give up our needs, otherwise, it will not be a satisfactory deal no matter

how good it might look.

In compromising, we start out at the need level. We give away our needs in

order to reach agreement causing us to not really feel satisfied.

When in a conflict situation where we must compromise, the best method of

resolution is to adjourn for a period of time so we can determine the needs and

wants of the circumstances. With our list in front of us, now we can negotiate a

solution and not compromise.

General Guidelines for Resolving Bad ConflictGeneral Guidelines for Resolving Bad ConflictGeneral Guidelines for Resolving Bad Conflict

Here are some general guidelines to follow when resolving conflict:

1. Show respect. Nothing irritates people more quickly than disrespect. When

someone feels disrespected, he or she either lashes out in anger or retreats

into a shell. It is a rare person who can take disrespect for very long with-

out some emotional response. In either case, they stop listening, start

resisting and the possibility for resolution quickly diminishes. Showing

respect is the fastest way to bridge the gap and bring down the defensive

walls.

2. Listen Objectively. By putting aside our biases and prejudices, we can hear

what the other person is saying more clearly. Objective listening is active

listening without preconception with a pinch of empathy and actually

understanding the other viewpoint. As the adage

states, “You don’t understand another man’s road

until you’ve walked a mile in his moccasins.” You

don’t understand the other person’s viewpoint

until you’ve really listened and understand the

heart and soul of the message. When you put that

effort into listening, the other person sees it, feels

respected and heard. And in many cases, that is

all they need and the situation is resolved.

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3. Promote The Good of Both Sides. Both sides of the dispute has its good

points and its bad points. Show respect, listen objectively and then promote

the good of both sides. Spit out the bad points just like a cow rejects the

stumble and rocks in its hay. A cow simply drops the undesirables off to the

side and moves onto the next bite. It doesn’t stare at the deposits and

bring them back up. It lets them lay there.

4. Don’t Let Either Side Revert To Negative Conflict. Forward progress will be

made using this method of overcoming negative conflict. Don’t slip

backward by letting one or both sides of the argument revert to negative

tactics. Simply remind them of these guidelines — call them “rules of

engagement,” if you like.

5. Work Towards and Come To A Conclusion. Both parties must have one

unifying goal—to come to a satisfactory conclusion for both sides. A

common goal of reaching a mutually satisfying conclusion will help both

sides stay engaged while discussion, and progress, happens. During the

discussion, respect and trust can and will increase if these guidelines are

followed. A key to a mutually satisfying result are the emotions felt at the

end. Is there mutual respect? Can both sides trust the other to hold to the

agreement? Have tempers been cooled and both sides felt heard? These

are the emotional items, that if not reached, cause future negative conflict.

Looking at Good ConflictLooking at Good ConflictLooking at Good Conflict

W e’ve explored bad conflict in depth, so let’s understand more about

good conflict, what it looks like, and most importantly, how to

introduce it.

As we’ve stated, good conflict pushes us forward. Through it, we produce

better results than if it were not introduced. It causes people to think laterally,

or outside-the-box. We can get stuck in a rut, “we’ve always done it that way”

mentality or stymied by the shear inertia of having to change.

Good conflict produces good feelings between people — mutual respect, trust

and camaraderie. It sometimes exhibits itself in similar ways as bad conflicts,

but differs because both parties involved know the confrontation is not to

damage but to improve the situation.

Think of a sports analogy. In a football game, the wide receiver may have

missed his route causing the pass to be incomplete. The quarterback, because

of the adrenaline, may appear to be angry and might be voicing his concern

louder than he normally would, but instructs the receiver where to be next

time. The receiver does not feel attacked or berated. He knew better and

realizes the quarterback is not yelling at him, but helping him for the

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betterment of both. To be received properly, both participants understand,

respect and trust each other so the confrontation, or conflict, turns positive.

We see this in our everyday lives as we work with others. They have ideas and

we have ideas. The ideas might clash. We work through the ideas, picking the

good ones and leaving the less useful ones behind. The discussion might

become a bit heated at times because of the passion and enthusiasm both

parties bring to the table, but both sides realize the discussion produces better

results. They realize it is not a personal attack.

Good conflict exhibits itself in a number of ways. We see it in teamwork,

common goals, shared language and mutual dependence. The ultimate

objective is to produce the best outcome possible.

Signs of Good ConflictSigns of Good ConflictSigns of Good Conflict

Good conflict occurs in an environment of

High performance teams

Mutual dependence

Shared language

Common goals

Reciprocated respect

Single purpose

Goal oriented

Focused outcome

People introduce good conflict while

Problem solving

Collaborating

Cooperating

Generating new ideas

Seeking a common solution, a better solution

Engaging in respectful two-way dialogues

How do we get to this promised land? How do we interject good conflict into

situations to produce better results? We use the tools we’ve been using for

years:

Establish ground rules of team conduct,

Create rules of engagement for resolving and introducing conflict,

Eliminate bad conflict,

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Copyright © David A. Zimmer, PMP, All Rights Reserved Page 15

Encourage participation by all team members,

Use information-gathering activities such as brainstorming, mind-mapping,

focus groups and facilitated workshops, which lead to mutual dependence

and respect among all parties,

Interject ideas and counterpoints into discussions to elicit different

viewpoints or reactions,

Summarize the current results periodically and ask what might make them

better,

Use open questions starting with How, What, When, Where and Why,

Recognize and praise individuals along the way and the group collectively

as progress is made,

And above all, thank participants when a conclusion is reached.

Following these guidelines, we can lead our teams to resolving bad conflict and

using good conflict to move forward, to make progress in our endeavors.

ConclusionConclusionConclusion

C onflict is neither good nor bad. It simply is. How we react to it determines

the state of negativity or positivity. We can take a situation and turn it

from evil to good and come closer to our vision or desired results. It is our

response that creates the outcome.

Remember:

1. There will always be conflict between people. Maintain proper reaction to

the circumstances to reach the preferred conclusion.

2. No conflict means little passion or interest. Lack of passion or interest

produces poor results. Poor results are unacceptable. Passionate people

want to achieve a higher level outcome, so their passion may cause

conflict. Turn the conflict positive.

3. Conflict can be either bad or good. It depends on how its handled. Handled

properly, it produces outcomes wanted.

4. Bad conflict destroys, good conflict builds. You choose which outcome you

want and guide those involved to that ending.

5. Complete agreement produces mediocre results — conflict produces the

best results. Once positive conflict enters the picture and a better solution

is determined, gain agreement from all parties involved.

Page 16: Conflict: The Art of Moving Forward

Conflict. Something everyone wants to avoid. We want smooth

sailing, calm waters, sunny skies and warm breezes. We don’t want

anything to rock our boats.

But, we’ve learned over time, conflict is necessary for progress. In some

cases, conflict generates the ideas we need to move us forward in our jobs

and personal lives. It is the “uncomfortableness” of conflict that causes us

to get up and do something about our situation, to discover a new

method, or progress to a particular goal.

In this paper, you’ll learn

The differences between bad conflict and good conflict,

How to differentiate one from the other,

Common signs indicating a negative situation exists and must be fixed,

Methods of overcoming bad conflict and introducing good conflict, and

The 5 Laws of Conflict.

Based upon real-world, fire-tested experience and research,

Mr. Zimmer provides insights into conflict management where many are

afraid to tread. Managing projects for close to thirty years, he’s

encountered his share of conflict.

Additionally, he’s been known to kick up some conflict. Using the

information contained in this paper, he usually “wins” and his teams win.

You benefit from his experience and knowledge. Read this paper.

The Project Professors

c/o American Eagle Group

PO Box 703

Warrington, PA 18976

+1/215.491.2544

[email protected]

www.ameagle.com

David A. Zimmer, PMP helps organizations develop and implement

strategies by leveraging best practices of market research, business

analysis and project management to continuously improve processes

and results. One client decreased their

time to manufacturing by two weeks

and lowered the defect rates by 25%

s imply by implement ing h is

suggestions.

A published author and recognized

speaker, Mr. Zimmer’s training is

consistently rated the best and most

effective. Additionally, he is available

for speaking engagements.