conflict mediation
DESCRIPTION
Conflict Resolution and Mediation TechniquesTRANSCRIPT
CONFLICTMEDIATION
Tech Prep Presentation to Area High School TeachersCollin County Community College
Plano, TX
What is Mediation?
An attempt by two parties to resolve their differences or dispute.
Assisted by a neutral third party.Purpose is to resolve a conflict and create an
agreement.Does not replace the judicial system.Mediation proceedings are confidential and
private.
What is Mediation?
A mediator only advises, only suggest.The resolution is up to the two parties using a
signed, written agreement.Informal process.No judge or jury, no arbitrator.All parties must agree to the process, usually
with a signed mediation agreement.
A Conflict Mediation ProgramMediator leads the parties – series of steps
Identifying the problem(s).Listening to each other.Recognizing the feelings involved.
Hurt, rejected, afraid, angry, arrogant, etc.Developing possible solutions.Taking responsibility for their part in the
conflict.
Mediation and Trial ComparisonTrial assumes guilt and innocence.Mediation assumes no fault.A trial seeks to learn the truth.Mediation seeks to find an equitable solution.A trial deals with facts.Mediation deals with the feelings and
perceptions behind the facts.In a trial, a judge makes a decision.In mediation, the disputants make the
decisions.
Peer Conflict Mediation
The two conflicting parties sit with a trained peer and discuss their differences.
The peer mediator guides the discussion to help the quarreling students find solutions to their conflict.
Once the two parties agree, they each sign a contract that outlines what each will do to solve the problem.
All mediation sessions are confidential.
Nature of the Conflict?What conflict exists according to them?
Is it all expressed?Are there additional points underneath?What’s the “triggering event” for this
dispute?How interdependent are the parties?Is ther interference threatened or present?Destructive conflict spiral or a productive
one?Do they know each other? How well?Are they locked in a relationship pattern?
Positions and Interests?
A POSITION is what I want or demand.An INTEREST is the underneath why I
want it.
Conflicts are most often the result of demands or incompatible positions.
Opposing positions often seem irreconcilable.The interests beneath the demands lead the
way to resolution, new outcome or option.
Positions and InterestsInterests related to each other
ConflictingSharedCompatible
Tips:Don’t assume that interests conflictDon’t assume that parties have conflicting
interests.Explore shared and compatible interests.People often lack awareness of their interests.
Options and Alternatives
OPTIONS are resolutions that parties conceive together.
An ALTERNATIVE is a resolution without the other party.To figure out an alternative, ask, “what if I cannot
agree to something with the person, what will I do……..?”
Choose between a set of options and your best alternative.
Mediation Process
Stepping into another’s shoes.What are they saying/doing that for?What is their situation?Am I empathetic with this person?If I were in their situation, what would I do to
get where I want?What are their needs/wants?
Mediation ProcessPositions Common Mistakes INTERESTS Options Alternatives Commitments
Mediation ProcessMost common errors
Jump from positions to optionsJump from positions to commitment
Mediator’s role is to:Explore interestsHelp generate optionsHelp consider alternativesFacilitate commitmentMaintain confidentiality.
Mediation Process
Helpful Tips:Everyone wants to be heard (and must be).Affirming interests – not positions – moves the
process forward.Empathizing with both – protect your neutrality.Create several options before commit to one.Make sure everyone understands the
commitment in the same way.Be sure the commitment is doable.
Analyzing Conflict Situations1. Defensive communication?
Happens when they feel threatened.Will attempt to
Dominate Impress or Assert that they are correct
CharacteristicsTotal lack of listening or understandingAttacking, aggressive, and hostile behavior
No conducive to resolution of the problem
Analyzing Conflict Situations
2. Hostile communication?Direct verbal assaults
A person criticizes, ridicules, or makes fun of the other person.
Often a prelude to overt action such as physical violence.
Analyzing Conflict Situations
3. Manipulative Communications?Often occurs in conflict situations.Attempts to interpret or reshape the conflictMay try to:
Misrepresent the factsDraw unfounded conclusionsClaim misunderstandings
Analyzing Conflict Situations
4. AvoidanceMay change the subject to avoid confronting a
topic that is threatening.May not respond to specific issues.May change the subject to unrelated matters.
Analyzing Conflict Situations
5. Evaluative Response? Sniping?Another approach that people may attempt
when they discuss conflicts.One person makes a statement, then……
Other person does not respond directly.Other person evaluates or judges it. For example, “that remark is so childish” when
asked to respond
Conflict Styles
Competing:“Hard bargaining” or “might makes right.”Pursuing personal concerns at the expense of
the other party.Can mean “standing up for your right,”
defending that which you believe is correct.Can mean simply trying to win.
Conflict Styles
Collaborating:“Negotiating” or “two heads are better than
one”Working with someone to……
Explore your disagreementGenerate alternativesFinding a solution that mutually satisfies the
concerns of both parties.
Conflict Styles
Compromising:“Splitting the difference”Seeking the middle ground solution that
satisfies both parties.The middle ground is not always in the
“middle.”It depends upon the number of points.
Conflict Styles
Accommodating:“Soft bargaining”“Killing your enemy with kindness”Yielding to another person’s point of view
Paying attention to their concerns“Neglecting” one’s own concerns
Conflict Styles
Avoiding:“Leave well enough alone”Not addressing the conflict
Withdrawing from the situationPostponing the issue
Six Rules for Conflict Mediation
1. Never take sidesNever be the decision maker.Never defend one person’s point of
view.Only ask questions and make
suggestions
Six Rules for Conflict Mediation
2. Win-Win StrategyEach person to walk away feeling he or she won
in some part.
3. Maintain personal integrity for everyoneNo one to feel debased or humiliated.No one to feel left out.
Six Rules for Conflict Mediation
4. Get conflicts out in the open
Don’t let conflicts simmer and flare in the dark.
Get them out where can get explanations.
Six Rules for Conflict Mediation
5. Be aware of barriers to conflict resolution
DefensivenessPut-downsDiscountingJudgmental reactionsAggressive attacksOther similar actions
Six Rules for Conflict Mediation6. Do not escalate conflicts by involving
more people than is necessary
Resolve at the lowest possible level.Resolve between individuals who are directly involved.If two many people, they get concerned with…….
Saving face Loyalties Saying things for other’s benefit
Remember that mediations are confidential.