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Conflict Management 2012

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• Many people regard conflict as a battle to win or a situation to avoid

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Communication is essential in conflict resolution

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Benefits of Conflict

• Engaging in conflict can have positive effects on relationships and organisations

• Conflict fosters an awareness that problems exist.

• Conflict raises awareness of what is important to individuals.

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• Discussing conflicting views can lead to better solutions and clarifications of important problems and issues.

• Challenging old assumptions can lead to changes in outdated practices and processes.

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• Conflict leads to authentic communication – helps people to “be real”, for example, it motivates them to participate.

• Conflicts helps individuals develop understanding and learn how to recognise and benefit from their differences.

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• Conflict becomes destructive when it hampers productivity, lowers morale, causes more and continued conflicts and causes inappropriate behaviours.

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• Destructive Conflict

• The conflict isn’t the problem – it is when conflict is poorly managed that is the problem.

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Ways of Managing conflict

• The term conflict management implies that conflict is not an “on” or “off” phenomenon

• Conflict-handling behaviour is not a static procedure. It is a process that requires flexibility and continual evaluation to be truly productive and effective.

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• Communication behaviour is at the root of both creating and managing conflict. Communication is related to Conflict:

• Communication creates conflict. • Communication reflects conflict. • Communication is the vehicle for

the destructive or productive management of conflict.

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• To handle conflicts more productively, use the following five ‘A’s which integrate conflict theory and interpersonal communication skills:

• a. Assessment• b. Acknowledgment• c. Attitude• d. Action• e. Analysis

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• ASSESSMENT• During this initial stage, allow

yourself time to be calm and to evaluate the situation

• You need to determine the true source of the conflict and gather appropriate information or documentation.

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ASSESSMENT

• Assess the points you are willing or unwilling to compromise on and what the other party wants.

• Make a preliminary determination of the appropriate conflict-handling behaviour for the situation, for the relationship, and for the environment

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• Communication styles of conflict-handling behaviour

1. Avoiding2. Accommodating3. Competing4. Compromising5. Collaborating

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• 1,Avoiding

• We avoid when we don’t want to get involved or we decide it’s not worth the effort to pursue.

• Avoiding is an appropriate conflict-

handling style if you are too busy with more important concerns and if your relationship with the other party is unimportant.

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Avoiding • A turtle is a symbol for the avoiding

style because it can avoid everything by pulling its head and legs into its shell to get away from everyone.

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• 2. Accommodating is used when:• a. When one party in a conflict

genuinely does not care about the outcome of conflict.

• b. When you find yourself in conflict over an unimportant issue.

• c. When you do not want to strain your relationship with other party.

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Accommodating

• A chameleon is a symbol of the accommodating style because it changes its color to match the color of its environment. By doing so, the chameleon fits quietly into its environment.

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• 3. Competing :• A person who chooses

competing as a conflict-handling style will

• Put his interest before anyone else’s interest.

• Maximise reaching his own goals or getting the problem solved at the cost of the other party’s goals or feelings.

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Competing

• A lion can be a symbol of a competitive style. The lion’s roar helps the lion satisfy its interest.

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• 4. Compromising • When individuals compromise in

order to resolve conflict, they are willing to “give and take”.

• They find some middle ground and work out a solution that is partially satisfactory to both parties.

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Compromising

• A zebra can be a symbol for the compromising style. Its unique look seems to indicate that it didn’t care if it was a black horse or a white horse, so it “split the difference” and chose black-and-white stripes.

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• 5. Collaborating

• Collaboration occurs when parties cooperatively work together until a mutually agreeable soution is found.

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Collaborating

• When we collaborate, we are interested in seeing that everyone’s wants are met fully.

• Consider ourselves a team. • We work creatively and are

solution-oriented.

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Collaborating

• A dolphin usually chooses a collaborating style. They use whistles and clicks to communicate with each other to catch food cooperatively and to summon help.

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ACKNOWLEDGMENT

• One should acknowledge and recognise that the other party’s perspectives – his beliefs, goals, values and personality traits -may differ from his own.

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• ATTITUDE

• ACTION• Listen Well • Show empathy

• questioning• paraphrasing• role reversal

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• Watch your verbal communication (language style)

• avoid overly vague or broad statements

• avoid ridicule and exaggerations• avoid threatening statements• avoid hostile and sarcastic remarks

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• To handle a disagreement, seek first to understand, then to be understood.

• What can you say to the other party if you want to follow this principle?

• “ I see that we look at this issue from different perspectives. While I want to share my needs and views with you later, let me first focus on your thoughts, needs and observations.”

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• As we are listening to the other party during a disagreement, we should resist the tendency to interrupt with objections no matter how unfounded some of the comments may be, or to bring up our viewpoints and concerns.

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• Appropriate and more productive questions can be asked during a conflict.

• a. “If I understand you correctly, you’re upset with my tone of voice”

• b. “Do you feel that there is only one way to resolve this dispute?”

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• Paraphrasing• Paraphrasing demonstrates a

willingness to attend to and to acknowledge the concerns of others.

• “ If I understand you correctly, you are upset because you feel I interrupt you too much ” or

• “ Do you feel that I interrupt you too often? ”

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• The use of “I” statements may help as it is a clear statement of what you feel or want.

• The party concerned receives a clear non-judgemental evaluative message and is more likely not to oppose you.

• So, instead of saying “You are so inconsiderate when…”, you can use an I-statement and say : “I feel upset when…..”

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• Watch your non-verbal communication

• Recognise relative power

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• In disagreements, people should focus on their needs rather than on their positions.

• Even if you are in the position to decide, respect the right of the other party.

• This way, conflicts can be better managed

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Analysis

Consider if:1. the concerns of all articulated and considered;2. decisions can be implemented quickly and/ or

effectively;3. the short- or long-term effects of the solution

are viable; and4. the relationship between the conflicting

parties has improved.

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FINALLY:Learning to disagree amicably and to work

through problems is one of the most important interpersonal skills we can develop:

• a. Individuals need to consider expressed differences as the potential for creativity and growth.

• b. Individuals can learn how to keep communication lines open and solve challenges when things go wrong.

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Activity:

• Consider the following brief exchanges between two parties. Think about what verbal strategies you can use to turn them into more productive exchanges.

• (a) Husband: Ever since you’ve gone back to work, the house hasn’t been as clean as I’d like it to be.

• Wife: You’ve got two hands and two legs. If you want a clean house, why don’t you use them to push a broom or carry out the garbage!

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Activity:

• Suggested solution:• This is a case of trivialisation of the problem

through joking or sarcasm. • This kind of exchange may escalate into a full-

blown conflict. • If a clean house is the husband’s ultimate aim,

he can manage the conflict by responding with a comment such as, “I’m sorry I criticised your work. Let’s discuss what we can do to get the house cleaned.”

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