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GENDER AND COMMUNICATION

LECTURE 19a

CULTURE: A REVIEWCULTURE: A REVIEW

CULTURE IS: A WAY OF LIFE REPRESENTS THE “TAKEN-FOR-

GRANTED” VIEWS SHARED BY GROUP

CULTURE CONSISTS OF: KNOWLEDGE VALUES SYMBOLIC EXPRESSION

KEY “TAKEN-FOR-GRANTED” CULTURAL ASSUMPTION

KEY “TAKEN-FOR-GRANTED” CULTURAL ASSUMPTION

ABOUT GENDER AND COMMMUNICATION WOMEN AND MEN IN CONVERSATION SPEAK THE

SAME “LANGUAGE” WITH THE SAME INTENTIONS AND SAME MEANINGS

RESEARCH BY SOCIO-LINGUISTS SUGGESTS THAT THIS GENERAL ASSUMPTION OF SAMENESS IS WRONG.

GENERALLY, MEN AND WOMEN OPERATE IN TWO DIFFERENT SUB-CULTURES OR COMMUNICATION GROUPS

CULTURE AND WORDSCULTURE AND WORDS

Every society has a lexicon or list of agreed-upon names for objects, ideas

Unanalyzable, simple words that name categories of things with easily observed differences

A name is a symbol because of arbitrarily attached meaning

Not concrete or tied naturally to things Names we apply emphasize particular aspects

of reality and neglect others

LANGUAGE AND GENDERLANGUAGE AND GENDER Defines Gender

Symbols define phenomena. We use symbols to name objects, people, feelings,

experiences, and other phenomena.

LANGUAGE DEFINES GENDERLANGUAGE DEFINES GENDER

MAN STILL USED TO MEAN PEOPLE OR HUMANITY UNTIL THE 90’S

“MALE GENERICS” EXCLUDED WOMEN RESEARCH QUITE CLEAR ON “MAN” EVOKING THE IMAGE

OF MALE NOT HUMAN IN STUDENTS OF ALL AGES

“MALE GENERICS” SEEMED TO MAKE MEN MORE PROMINENT

NATURE OF “PUBLIC TALK” (MEDIA) ABOUT WOMEN AND MEN DIFFERENT

APPEARANCE AND RELATIONSHIPS - WOMEN ACTIVITIES AND ACHIEVEMENTS - MEN

LANGUAGE AND GENDERLANGUAGE AND GENDER

Organizes Perceptions of Gender We can classify phenomena and think in terms of

generalizations. Often either-or StereotypesOften either-or Stereotypes

Strong vs. Weak, Emotional vs. RationalStrong vs. Weak, Emotional vs. Rational

Defines Gender Symbols define phenomena.

We use symbols to name objects, people, feelings, experiences, and other phenomena.

Language and GenderLanguage and Gender Evaluates Gender

Language is not neutral. It reflects cultural values and is a powerful influence on our perceptions.

Women are often trivialized by language. Demeaned by metaphors that equate them with food,

animals, possessions, children 220 words for sexually permissive women - 22 for men

Language and GenderLanguage and Gender Enables Hypothetical Thought

Symbols are abstract - allow us to think about not just what is, but also what will or might be and what has been.

How to improve situations

Language Allows Self‑Reflection As symbol users, we can name ourselves - self‑reflect. If we don't like the self we see, we are able to change, to alter

how we act and how we define our identity

GENDER AND COMMUNICATION

LECTURE 19b

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GENDERED TALKGENDERED TALKIN THE SOCIAL SCIENCES WE DISCUSS CENTRAL TENDENCIES

IN DATA

GENDER AND KID’S PLAY

Girls Boys

GENDER AND KID’S PLAY

Girls Boys

Early separate worlds More emotions info Parents use more emotion

and words The nature of emotions Early language skills -

explore and articulate feelings

Smaller, coop. games By puberty - girls learn

indirect aggression Connected relationships

By 7 no friends are girls Less info except anger Narrower display range -

fewer emotion words Causes - consequences Use of more physical action

to display - less aware of internal states

Larger, competitive play Boys learn direct & ritual

aggression Tough minded autonomy

TWO VIEWS OF THE WORLDTWO VIEWS OF THE WORLD MEN SPEAK TO DISCOVER WHO IS IN CHARGE -

HIGH VS. LOWS - COMPETITION WOMEN SPEAK TO DISCOVER WHO IS

CONNECTED - CLOSE VS. FAR - CONNECTION

WOMENWOMEN

MENMEN

GENDER AND EMOTIONAL COMMUNICATIONGENDER AND EMOTIONAL COMMUNICATION

GENDER AND EMOTIONAL COMMUNICATIONGENDER AND EMOTIONAL COMMUNICATION

GENDERED TALKGENDERED TALK

WORD USAGE AND GENDER WOMEN TEND TO USE

MORE WORDS INTENSIFIERS TAG QUESTIONS (ISN’T IT) AND “UP-INFLECTIONS” “ENCOURAGERS” WHEN LISTENING MORE AFFECT (FEELING) WORDS THAN MALES

BUT MEN USE MORE AFFECT WORDS WHEN TALKING TO WOMEN THAN MEN

WOMEN DON’T CHANGE THEIR RATE OF USE

GENDER AND COMMUNICATION

LECTURE 19c

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GENDER-RELATED BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION GENDER-RELATED BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

MEN SPEAK: TO ESTABLISH AUTONOMY RELATIVE TO EACH

OTHER (COMPETE TO MAINTAIN IT) TO NEGOTIATE STATUS USING ‘REPORT TALK’ TALK SHOULD ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING -

SOLVE A PROBLEM, GIVE ADVICE, TAKE A STAND

THEIR “TAKEN FOR GRANTED” WORLD IS ONE OF HIERARCHY AND CONTROL

CHARACTERISTICSCHARACTERISTICS

MEN RESIST BEING “ONE DOWN”: LESS LIKELY TO ASK QUESTIONS WHEN THEY DON’T

KNOW SOMETHING

COMPETE IN CONVERSATIONS GIVE ANSWERS RATHER THAN LISTEN WAIT TO RE-DIRECT CONVERSATION DEBATE RATHER THAN DISCUSS INTERRUPT TO GAIN FLOOR EXPECT TO BE ATTACKED AND ATTACK OTHERS

“FIGHT IT OUT” THEN “DROP IT” AND MOVE ON

RITUAL COMBAT IS SEEN AS NATURAL

GENDER-RELATED BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION GENDER-RELATED BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

WOMEN SPEAK: TO ESTABLISH THEIR CONNECTION TO EACH

OTHER (COOPERATE TO MAINTAIN IT) TO NEGOTIATE INTIMACY USING ‘RAPPORT TALK’ (CONNECT TALK) TALK SHOULD DEAL WITH FEELINGS,

PERSONAL IDEAS, BUILD RELATIONSHIPS THEIR “TAKEN-FOR-GRANTED” WORLD IS

BASED ON CLOSENESS AND DISTANCE

CHARACTERISTICSCHARACTERISTICS

WOMEN ARE TAUGHT TO: TAKE TURNS IN SPEAKING TO ASK QUESTIONS AND LISTEN

WHEN THEY DON’T KNOW OVERLAP ONLY TO SUPPORT NOT TO

GRAB THE FLOOR TO USE RITUALS OF SPEECH TO

SHOW CONNECTION TO OTHERS NOT TO COMPETE RITUALLY

GENDER BASED COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS: REMINDERSGENDER BASED COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS: REMINDERS

THUS, WHEN MEN AND WOMEN SPEAK TOGETHER THEY MAY SPEAK AT CROSS-PURPOSES

THEY HOLD DIFFERENT VIEWS OF RELATIONSHIPS

WOMEN: A RELATIONSHIP IS WORKING WHEN YOU CAN DISCUSS IT

MEN: IF IT’S WORKING YOU DON’T DISCUSS IT - TALK IS FOR SOLVING PROBLEMS

THEY HAVE DIFFERENT MODES OF RITUAL SPEECH

CHARACTERISTIC COMMUNICATION RITUALSCHARACTERISTIC COMMUNICATION RITUALS

NEGOTIATIONS: WOMEN OPEN NEGOTIATIONS BY ASKING HOW OTHERS SEE

A PROBLEM MEN OPEN NEGOTIATIONS BY CLAIMING WHAT THEY WANT

DOWNPLAY: WOMEN DOWNPLAY CERTAINTY TO BE CONNECTIVE MEN DOWNPLAY DOUBTS TO AVOID ‘ONE-DOWN’

POSITION

CHARACTERISTIC COMMUNICATION RITUALSCHARACTERISTIC COMMUNICATION RITUALS

IDEAS: GIRLS LEARN TO PHRASE THEIR IDEAS AS

SUGGESTIONS BOYS LEARN TO GIVE ORDERS WITHOUT REASONS

RITUALS: WOMEN USE PHRASE “I’M SORRY’ AS CONNECTIVE

RITUAL, MEN INTERPRET AS APOLOGY “SOCIAL LYING”

GENDER DIFFERFENCES APPEAR HERE TOO.

CHARACTERISTIC COMMUNICATION RITUALS: SOCIAL LYING AND GENDER CHARACTERISTIC COMMUNICATION RITUALS: SOCIAL LYING AND GENDER

SOCIAL LYING RESEARCH Strangers in a lab talk together. At the end of the discussion, asked "Did you lie?"...all said "No".

A review of the tapes with them afterwards 60% admitted they were lying to others, about 3 lies per 10 minute session.

They didn't even realize they were lying Adaptive Unconcscious response We lie more to friends than strangers in order to enhanced our self esteem.

We lie in conversations all the time to make things go well Self reports: Both Men and Women lie once or twice a day - in 20% of all

exchanges over 10 minutes Those who do it best are those who do it unconsciously and think they are telling

the truth at the time. They don’t give themselves away. In general, men tended to lie to make themselves look better while women

lied to make others feel better.

WORKPLACE COMMUNICATION AND GENDERWORKPLACE COMMUNICATION AND GENDER

EXAMPLE :

MALE INTERN RISKS THE LIFE OF A PATIENT IN ORDER TO AVOID ASKING SUPERIOR QUESTION ABOUT TREATMENT

FEMALE INTERNIST IS RECOGNIZED BY HER PEERS AS

BEST BUT RECEIVES A POOR EVALUATION FROM MALE SUPERIOR BECAUSE SHE ASKS ‘MORE QUESTIONS’

Slides 16 and 17 Based on Book by D. Tannen called “Talking From 9 to 5”

IMPROVING CROSS-GENDER COMMUNICATIONIMPROVING CROSS-GENDER COMMUNICATION

BE CONSCIOUS (MINDFUL) USE DUAL PERSPECTIVE OWN YOUR OWN FEELINGS AND

THOUGHTS . USE I-LANGUAGE. RESPECT WHAT OTHERS SAY ABOUT

THEIR FEELINGS AND IDEAS USE METACOMMUNICATION