communicating with your athletes - arbitersports · personality defensive, unapproachable....

COMMUNICATION

Taken from Successful Coaching by Rainer Martens

Communication

• Two dimensions of

Communication

• Six Steps of Communication

• Sending and Receiving Messages

– Sender/receiver failures

• Communication Styles

• Developing Skills

• Confrontation

• Two Dimensions of

Communication

– Sending and receiving messages

– Verbal and nonverbal messages

• Content (verbal) and emotion

(nonverbal)

Communication

Have a thought

Thought to

message

Transmit message

Receives message

Interpret message

Response to

message

Six Steps of Communication

• Sending Messages– Use eye contact

– Avoid potential distractions

– Reduce comments

– Check for understanding

• Receiving messages– Blocks to effective listening

• Asking too many questions

• Giving advice

• Being judgmental

• Agreeing or disagreeing

• Using clichés

Communication

• Communication breakdowns

– Sender failures

• Contradictory messages

• Verbal vs. nonverbal messages

– Receiver failures

• Misinterpreting messages

• Failure to listen

Communication

• Why Communication is

Sometimes Ineffective

– Stress

– Passion

– Importance

– The receiver

Communication

• Command-Style Communication

– Aggressive ordering

– Intimidating body language

– Do most of the talking

– Accuse and blame

– Little listening

– Shouting and attacking person

– May be successful for the short

term

Communication

• Submissive Style Communication

– Allows others to dominate the

conversation

– Seldom express own viewpoints

– Tend to express agreement

– Uncertain

– Avoids eye contact

– Avoids difficult issues

– Hates confrontations and conflict

Communication

• Cooperative-Style Communication

– Straightforward

– Positive

– Takes initiative

– Direct and constructive

– Good listeners

– Focus on moving the team forward

in a positive way

Communication

• Developing Your

Communication Skills

– Communicate with a positive

approach

• Provide honest, direct, and constructive

messages

• Avoid sarcasms and put downs

• Don’t sugarcoat the situation

• Respond to questions not statements

Communication

• Developing Your


– Communicate with a positive

approach

• 3 Reasons some use the negative

approach:

1. HABIT of using the negative approach

2. Unrealistic expectations

3. Short term success

Communication

• Developing Your Communication Skills

– Developing credibility• Use a cooperative style

• Be knowledgeable/honest

• Be reliable, fair and consistent

• Express warmth, friendliness, acceptance, empathy

• Be dynamic, spontaneous, open

• Remain calm under pressure

• Use a positive approach

Communication

• Developing Your


– Send messages high in

information

• Provide specific information when

answering questions

• Be certain you understand the reasons

for a person’s action before you judge

their behavior

• Focus on the behaviors not on the

person

Communication

• Developing Your


– Communicating with consistency

• Follow through with what you say

• Avoid/discourage meaningless

conversation

• Develop a sense of trust by being

consistent

Communication

• Developing Your


– Learning how to listen

• Show that you are interested in listening

and trying to understand

• Check that you understand by repeating

message

• Express empathy, not sympathy

Communication

• Developing Your


– Categories of nonverbal

communication

• Body motion

• Physical characteristics

• Touching behavior

• Voice characteristics

• Body position

Communication

• Developing Your


– Improving your nonverbal

communication

• Recognize how much of what you

communicate is in the form of nonverbal

messages

• Send and receive messages effectively

by using and reading body position,

body motion, voice characteristics

• Remember- what you do speaks louder

than what you say

Communication

• Confrontation

– Identify the problem

– Stop and think before acting

– Understand the other person’s

perspective

– Use an assertive style of

confrontation

• Own your own messages

• Use supportive messages

• State your needs

Communication

COMMUNICATION

SPECIFIC TO

GAME

PARTICIPANTS

Communicating With…

Game Participants

• How do we effectively

communicate with:

– Head Coaches

– Assistant Coaches

– Players

– Partners

– Others: Table Personnel, Game

Management, Trainers, Managers,

Officials’ Liaisons, etc.


Others

• Always be professional

• Don’t be OVERLY friendly

• Don’t be high maintenance

• Make requests – NOT demands

• Everybody’s job is important

• No one wants to hear where you

were last night or your travel

woes

• The WALLS have EARS!


Partners

• Try to go into every game with

positive thoughts about partners

• BE inclusive

• Don’t talk about one partner to

the other during the game

• Develop the skill of how to have

difficult conversations – don’t

ignore this part of partnering


Partners

Instead of

saying…

“You

missed that

call.”

Try saying…

“Let’s talk

about that last

play. Tell me

what you

saw.”


Partners

Instead of

saying…

“You are

not calling

the same

game as the

two of us.”

Try saying…

“We as a crew

don’t appear

to be on the

same page;

how can we

fix that?”


Partners

Instead of

saying…

“You are

talking way

too much to

the

coaches.”

Try saying…

“We need to be

mindful of how

much we talk to

the coaches;

our actions

might be

misinterpreted.”


Partners

• Time may not permit extended

conversations

• Don’t be confrontational on the

court – if a “spirited”

conversation is needed – take it

to the locker room

• The game is the most important

thing!


Players

• Always be professional – say

“please” and “thank you”

• Use gender-neutral language

– NO: “girls,” “sweetie,” “honey” or

“doll”

– Avoid: “ladies”

– Try “players” or no reference at all

• Find a balance between friendly

and authoritative


Players

• Certain non-basketball behaviors

must be addressed – Ignoring is

not an option

• Different situations call for

different types of responses/

communication – verbal and

non-verbal


Players

• Types of responses:

– Observe

– Step in and be present

– Step in and actively diffuse

– Seek out and confront/warn

– Assess penalty


Players

• Observe (non-verbal):

– Team huddles

– Celebrations – player or team

• Step in and be present (non-

verbal):

– Held balls

– Adjacent team huddles

– Celebrations near opponent


Players

• Step in and actively diffuse

(both):

– Moderately contentious held balls

– Overlapping team huddles

– Celebration next to an opponent


Players

• Seek out and confront/warn

(both):

– Very contentious held balls

– Celebration could be directed at

opponent

– Ball slammed down and caught

– Ball put on floor in defiance and

not given to official

– Discussion with official or

opponent approaches unsporting


Players

• Assess penalty (both):

– Overt celebration at opponent;

finger pointing; obscene gesture

(taunt)

– Ball slammed to floor and

rebounds skyward

– Pushing, shoving, etc.

– Using profanity, etc.

– Rule 10-3.1


Assistant Coaches

• Check your attitude – Asst.

coaches are people too!

• Our future Head Coaches!

• Don’t completely ignore

• Work through head coach if

communication becomes

excessive, distracting or

inappropriate

• Warn and penalize appropriately


Head Coaches

• Remember about coaches:

– Inherently biased

– Inherently emotional

– Having a bias and being emotional

can lead to irrational behaviors

– When they ask a question –

sometimes they actually want an

answer

– Some may not want to hear

anything you have to say


Head Coaches

• Remember about coaches:

– Coaches are ENGAGED in (and

maybe OBSESSED with) obtaining

a specific DESIRED OUTCOME…

– WINNING!


Head Coaches

• Coaches & officials typically

have an adversarial relationship

• Coaches don’t always hear what

we are trying to tell them

(verbals)

• Coaches don’t always see what

we are trying to convey (non-

verbals)


Head Coaches – VERBALS

When we

say…

“I thought I

saw your

player do

x…y…z.”

They hear…

“I really have

no clue what

just

happened.”



When we

say…

“That’s not

in my area, I

can’t call

that.”

They hear…

“I’m really not

paying

attention.”



When we

say…

“I got

blocked out

on the

play.”

They hear…

“I missed it

because I

was out of

position.”



When we

say…

“GET IN

YOUR

BOX!”

“SHUT-UP

AND SIT

DOWN!”

They hear…

“GET IN

YOUR

BOX!”

“SHUT-UP

AND SIT

DOWN!”



When we

say…

“It’s a 20-

point game,

we’re not

calling

that.”

They hear…

“The game is

over, I’ve put

my whistle

away.”



• Preferred statements:

– “I saw the play this way…”

– “I didn’t see the play you’re talking

about, I was watching this match-

up.”

– “My partner was on that play and

will tell you what they saw when

they are over here or during the next

dead ball.”



• Preferred statements:

– “Coach, I need you to stay in your

box tonight. This is your one

warning….stay in there for me.”

– “What are you seeing that

I’m/we’re missing?”



• Verbal communication tips:

– Do NOT tell a coach to “shut-up” or

“sit down” – they don’t have to

– Do NOT comment on the point

differential

– Be professional at all times

– Keep responses brief

– Do not initiate conversation

– Respond to questions – not

statements




– Do not use sarcasm – it will backfire

– Be honest – don’t be afraid to admit

a mistake (once!)

– Know your audience/self

– Avoid engaging in small talk or

fraternizing

• Coach may be trying to gain an

advantage over opponent

• “Working” official




– Selling your partners out doesn’t

make them LIKE you any better

– When possible, give explanations

using rule-book language

• Avoid officiating vernacular

• The rule book will keep you out of

trouble



• Rule-book language examples:

– “The ball is not dead until the try

ends.”

– “All she has to do is begin the

motion that habitually precedes the

release of the ball.”

– “The pivot foot was lifted before

the ball was released to start the

dribble.”

Communicating With…Head

Coaches – NON-VERBALS

When we…

Jog rather

than sprint

Sauntering

rather than

walking with

a purpose

They see…

Can’t keep up,

game has

passed you by

An attitude,

we don’t want

to be there

Communicating With… Head


When we…

Smile too

much

Never smile

Arms

crossed in

front or on

hips

They see…

We don’t take

this seriously

Irritable, too

serious, no

personality

Defensive,

unapproachable



When we…

Frequently

talk to

partners

Never talk to

partners

They see…

We are

distracted,

unsure,

conspiring

Not a team

player, don’t

need and/or like

partners



When we…

Take every

double

whistle

Give up every

double

whistle

They see…

Domineering,

trying to take

over the game

Too passive,

not confident,

unsure of calls



When we…

Have weak

signals

Have overly

dramatic or

emphatic

signals

They see…

In over your

head, timid,

unsure of self

You are the

show and want

everyone to

look at you



When we…

Frequently

talk to the

opposing

bench

Constantly

avoid bench

areas

They see…

You like them

better, you are

CHEATING

No spine,

paranoid,

unapproachable



• Non-verbal communication tips:

– Be aware of your body language

when you speak or stand

– Convey strength by:

• Using sharp signals

• Walking with purpose

– Improve conditioning levels

– Maintain your humanity, but do it

professionally


Game Participants

• Enhancing our communication skills

– both verbal and non-verbal:

– Makes for a smoothly and

effectively conducted contest

– Gives participants a sense that the

game is under control and is being

conducted fairly

– Provides a better experience for all

game participants

How do we respond?

Coach says…

• “The foul count is 7 to 1!”

• “Look down there, why is your

partner talking to Coach X, AGAIN?”

• “Are you guys going to call

traveling at all tonight?”

• “Are you related to Tim Donaghy?”

• “You must be on the take like that

NBA guy!”

OTHER HELPFUL

COMMUNICATION

TIPS OR

TECHNIQUES?

communicating with your athletes - arbitersports · personality defensive, unapproachable....

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