Communicating Their Stories: Strategies to Help Students Write Powerful College Application and

Scholarship Essays

Vancouver 2015

Rebecca Joseph, PhDgetmetocollege@gmail.comSlideshare: getmetocollege

Essays=Opportunity

• Share• Reflect• Stand Out

How Important Are Essays?

1.Grades2. Rigor of high school coursework; School 3.Test scores4.*Essays5. Recommendations6. Activities and interests7.Special skills, talents, awards, or legacy

affiliation

What Can Counselors and Teachers Do?

• Help students realize that essays give them a chance to:• Tell a story that is important to them.• Share their impact and leadership• Control a current application component• Make their applications become 3D

Prepare

• Prepare a resume• Find unusual essay prompts• Read a few essays from other students• Create a master chart

• Major deadlines and requirements• Essay questions: core and supplemental• Look for patterns in the prompts

Reflect

• What do I want my college(s) to know about me?

• What is the story I want to tell?• How can I communicate what I offer to a

college?• In what way(s) have I positively affected my

family, community, and/or school?

Individual and Collaborative

Brainstorm• Resumes• “Dear Roommate” Letters• Culture Bags• Facebook/Instagram Pictures • Twitter Postings• Write three responses to short essay activities prompt:

“What activity, in or out of school, have you truly loved, and why?”

• “First Thought” writing exercise (where you just write and let the thoughts flow)

• Interviews as scholarship finalists

Draft• Into

• Lead the reader into the story• Start with a hook• Consider cutting first paragraph(s) from first draft

• Through• Use 1/3, 2/3 method• Use first person• Show, don’t tell

• Beyond• Connect to who you are now and who you want to be• Evoke core qualities

Edit

• Help students show up in the their essays• Provide guiding questions for drafts• View each draft as a new layer• Allow students to submit revisions until deadlines• Show students how to tailor essays for different

college applications• Provide strategies to use essays for scholarships

as well

Showing Up In Your Essays

Essay Version OneI glared at the decapitated man, as blood gushed out of his neck in a fantastic frenzy. At his side towered another man, clutching a club and wearing a sinister smile on his face. Though I wanted to help the victim, there was little I could do. After all, he was merely a figure in a panel, a testament to the throngs of men who had played the ancient Mesoamerican ballgame in Chichen Itza.

The walls of the ball court loomed ominously over me, and the serpents adorning the hoops of the court seemed to smirk at me. Yet I felt a certain awe come over me, despite the relentless Mexican sun and my cousin's nagging me to race around the court.

It was that sense of hallowed reverence that drew me to history. Whenever I delved into the details of a treaty, bygone country, or general's life, I felt I could touch history itself, feel its contours, rough patches and textures with my fingers. I began to treat my study of history with an almost religious affection. I read more about ancient empires and states every night, and would seek out unopened volumes from the library. I decorated my room with posters of Douglas Macarthur and Martin Luther King. On vacations, I would steer my parents towards museums and battlegrounds.

Slowly, I noticed the ways in which studying history was changing me, opening my mind. In history, there is no right answer; our perceptions of the past are influenced by our upbringing, religion and culture. My perceptions of American history, politics and culture, for example, were radically different from those held by my UC Davis-educated cousins. The Mesoamericans of Chichen Itza had viewed the great ball game as holy and honorable, while I saw it as archaic, bloody and reviling. In college, I will be sure to encounter a confluence of different perspectives and ideals as well. In many ways, history taught me the importance of perspective. That sense of awe I experienced in that ball court still remains. The bloodied body, the writhing snake-- the beauty of history is that behind each image is a story, and for each story, there is a unique perspective.

Where Is Preston?

• Guiding Questions?– What do you want college to know about what

you have to offer?– What other essays do you have to write?– Can we have one essay with you as part of a group

and other about you?– Can you connect to one of your major activities?

Later VersionBallgames with Mayans

I gaped at the decapitated man, as blood gushed out of his neck in a scarlet rush. At his side towered another man, clutching a club and wearing a sinister smile. Though I wanted to help the victim, there was little I could do. After all, he was merely a figure in a panel, a testament to the throngs of men who had played the ancient Mesoamerican ballgame in Chichen Itza.

The walls of the ball court loomed ominously over me, and the serpents adorning the hoops of the court seemed to smirk. Yet I felt a certain awe, despite the relentless Mexican sun and my cousin's constant pleas to race with him around the court.

History, unlike that Mayan carving, is not always etched immutably in stone. Yet whenever I delve into the details of a treaty, a bygone country, or a general's life, I feel as if I can touch history itself, handling its contours, rough patches and textures with my fingers. I treat my study of history with an almost religious affection. I read more about ancient empires and states every night and seek out unopened volumes from the library. At dinner, I ask my parents about their childhood experiences. When on vacation, I steer my family towards battlefields and museums.

One of the biggest criticisms that history receives is that it is inapplicable to modern society. Thus I was thoroughly surprised when I found out how much of an asset history was for Model UN. In one instance, I represented Oman on the League of Arab States. We tackled sea piracy and sought to provide solutions to this problem, but only by understanding the implications and nuances of the region’s history was I able to approach the issue with well-informed ideas. With my background in history, I was able to supplement the ideas of delegates who were passionate about economics or politics, and we were thus able to form a cohesive solution to the problem. We ultimately chose to build a region-wide task force, paid for by coastal countries, with contributions from smaller nations.

I’ve become aware of the ways in which studying history has changed me and opened my mind. In history, there is no right answer; our perceptions of the past are influenced by our upbringing, religion and culture. My perceptions of American affairs and policy, for example, are radically different from those held by my California-educated cousins. The Mesoamericans of Chichen Itza had viewed the great ball game as holy and honorable, while I saw it as archaic and bloody. In many ways, history has taught me the importance of perspective.

That sense of awe I experienced in that ball court still remains. The bloodied body, the writhing snake—the strange splendor of history is that behind each image is a story, and for each story, there is a unique and revealing perspective.

Final Drafts

• Know When to Stop• Just Say “No!”

• Students• Parents• Educators

• Authentic Voice

Ten Day Curriculum• Objectives: • To help students prepare an active and powerful resume and under the valuable role of participation, leadership, and initiative in academics, activities, and service • To help students understand the key values of using their unique stories in their college application process• To help students identify their core qualities and key stories• To help students brainstorm potential counter-narrative essay topics that lead to college application and scholarship essays• To help students push beyond stereotypic message to relay who they really are and what ways they have empowered themselves and their communities.• To help student write autobiographical narratives to develop real experiences or event using effective techniques, well-chosen details, and well-structured event

sequences.• • Common Core Literacy Standards-Grades 11-12:• CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.11-12.3 Write narratives to develop real or imagined experiences or events using effective technique, well-chosen details, and well-structured

event sequences.– CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.11-12.3a Engage and orient the reader by setting out a problem, situation, or observation and its significance, establishing one or

multiple point(s) of view, and introducing a narrator and/or characters; create a smooth progression of experiences or events.– CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.11-12.3b Use narrative techniques, such as dialogue, pacing, description, reflection, and multiple plot lines, to develop experiences,

events, and/or characters.– CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.11-12.3c Use a variety of techniques to sequence events so that they build on one another to create a coherent whole and build toward a

particular tone and outcome (e.g., a sense of mystery, suspense, growth, or resolution).– CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.11-12.3d Use precise words and phrases, telling details, and sensory language to convey a vivid picture of the experiences, events,

setting, and/or characters.– CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.11-12.3e Provide a conclusion that follows from and reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved over the course of the

narrative.• CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.11-12.4 Produce clear and coherent writing in which the development, organization, and style are appropriate to task, purpose, and audience.

(Grade-specific expectations for writing types are defined in standards 1–3 above.)• CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.11-12.5 Develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, editing, rewriting, or trying a new approach, focusing on addressing what

is most significant for a specific purpose and audience. (Editing for conventions should demonstrate command of Language standards 1–3 up to and including grades 11–12 here.)

• CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.11-12.6 Use technology, including the Internet, to produce, publish, and update individual or shared writing products in response to ongoing feedback, including new arguments or information

Ten Activities For Helping Students Write Powerful Counter Narrative Autobiographical Essays That Lead to Unique College Application and Scholarships Essays

Rebecca Joseph, PhDrjoseph@calstatela.edu

facebook: getmetocollege freeadviceFB page: All College Essays

• Curriculum Mapping• Activity One—Have students prepare a powerful resume. Show them samples and have them brainstorm using key sections—education, activities, community

service, work, athletics, and more. Encourage them to highly leadership and initiative within each listing. Homework: Type resume up. (Use sample essays from former students or that we supply).

• Activity Two—Go through the Powerpoint presentation about powerful college application essays. Have them read the samples and identify the core qualities that each student offered match colleges. Have them share with a partner some emergent ideas for potential essays. Homework: Have students write three short paragraphs about core activities using into, through, and beyond. Have students bring in culture bag materials (Use Dr. Joseph’s East Side Stories powerpoint and 10 Tips for Communicating Their Stories Handout and 10 Brainstorming Tips).

• Activity Three—Have students bring in Culture Bag artifacts—examples of ethnicity, gender, religion, passions in school, three activities from resume, and goals for future. Students share with others and think of unique stories that emerge from their artifacts that may lead to powerful autobiographic college application essays. Have them look at resumes and identify some core stories. End with free writing assignment—tell one story that emerged from today’s discussions.

• Activity Four—Story Corps. Have students listen to different examples from NPR’s Story Corps and based on stories from yesterday, draft one that they would like to submit—written and verbal. Have students submit (See http://storycorps.org/).

• Activity Five—Letter to Future Roommate and Personal Qualities. Have students read letters to future roommates. Have them look at list of key positive personal traits. Have them draft their Letter to Future Roommates using whatever format suites them (Use Four Sample Letter for Future Roommate Samples).

• Activity Six—Drafting Day One. Have students look at their artifacts, resumes, list of personality traits, and letters to roommates to identify two core stories they want to communicate in longer form. Have students read brainstorming tips. Have them draft a strong image filled first paragraph of a longer essay. Homework: Expand first paragraph into four to five paragraph essays (Use sample first paragraphs from essays you have collected or that Dr. Joseph can provide).

• Activity Seven.—Drafting Day Two.). Have students workshop essays and write second drafts using handout. Homework: Revise each essay again. (Ten College Application Essay Questions).

• Activity Eight—Admissions Committee. Have students read four sample college applications and decide who to admit. Have students make comments on a peer’s essays to make them even stronger. Homework: Think of a third potential essay to now write. Activity Nine--Have students read some short autobiographical essays—Amy Tan, Mike Rose. See how these authors use effective narrative technique. Encourage student to use some form of media—video, pictures, recipes, lyrics to one of their pieces (Dr. Joseph has sample packets).

• Activity Nine- Introduce students to some key scholarships or writing competitions and have them begin to tailor their essays to one scholarships. Homework: Continue workshopping until you and kids have three great pieces.

• Activity Ten-Admissions Readers. Ask current college students and/or college representatives to come and read and give feedback to essays. Students revise based on comments.

Valerie’s Advice • Tips for Writing the College Essay • 1. Write about what you know about, what is familiar to you. • 2. When choosing a topic, ask yourself, what do I want this college to know about me that

they will not see in my transcript or application form?• 3. Write honestly • 4. Focus in tightly in your essay• 5. Show, do not merely tell in your essay• 6. Use strong verbs and precise nouns• 7. Be specific using interesting details• 8. Develop an effective beginning that draws the reader in and a conclusion that leaves the

reader thinking.• 9. If you write about a person, bring out those characteristics that differentiate that person

from others.• 10. When you read an essay question typically the first thing that comes to your mind is

what you should write about… now you just have to figure out a creative way to get your voice across.

UnPackaging Applicants

Jason’s JourneyWith my left hand covered in a work glove and forming a diagonal “L,” I nudge a nail in the web between my thumb and index finger. Grabbing a hammer from my tool belt, I slam the flat head against the butt of my target. A withered, white piece of gripping tape rubs against my dirtied, metal hammer and my right jean glove. I glance over my left shoulder toward a five-foot-tall woman for more strips. I point at my hammer’s grip, gesturing for more tape. It’s hard to hear beyond the whining circular saws. With the sun beating down on our backs, we continue working on the frame for the rest of the day without speaking. Beyond the man-made cacophony of saws, jackhammers, and nail guns lies natural silence.

Fast-forward two months. A textured cement path lined with bright white daisies leads me to a welcoming, white door. A shade reaches across a mat, providing me a rest from the blazing sun. In the windowsill a cheerful stick-figured man dances across yellow construction paper. I smile, delighted that the house I helped build has become a cozy home. House-warming basket in hand, I knock. Moments later, a petite woman whom I recognize opens her door and grins as she sees me. After all, it was just two months ago that we built her kitchen frame side-by-side. I eagerly offer her the welcome basket and thank her for becoming the newest member of the Pierce Street Villas.

Her eyes squint. Silence. It dawns on me that the woman with whom I had been working next to for hours under the sun and I do not share a spoken language. I struggle to find words in Spanish for the gratitude I want to express toward her. “Gracias por… por…” I grunt in angst and frustration. A young, perky girl dressed in an orange dress skips to her grandmother, leans against the elder’s waist, lifts her head, and grins up at me. She begins to translate. The shield between the woman and me weakens as we exchange words through a preschooler and emotions through the use of body language. Clasping her hands together, bending her elbows, catching her breath, the pruned woman smiles and then breaks down in tears. Stress and anxiety turn into sighs of appreciation and joy. Yet, a screen separates us, from giver to receiver, from privileged to underprivileged, from teenager to elderly, from English-speaking to Spanish-speaking.

This is not my intention—I thought we had shared our mutual feelings of love, life, and gratitude at the build. I thought her community was one to which I belonged. But, I could hardly speak her language. Little did I know what the true nature of community was until I experienced that unnatural silence. High school Spanish was glaringly not enough.

Fast-forward another six months. I am living in a modest home with a Spanish-speaking family outside Madrid. No English is spoken; no American schedule is followed. For one month I live the Spanish lifestyle, sleeping late, gorging at daily large family functions, and cooking at night for meals for the coming day. After weeks immersed in a language, culture, and way of life, I find myself unintentionally thinking in Spanish.

Submerging myself in a world almost 6,000 miles away has helped heighten my Habitat for Humanity experience less than 15 miles away to an unparalleled level. For me, Habitat goes far beyond the building of physical houses. The Spanish language that has become second nature allows me to connect with the residents of our new Habitat village at a much deeper and personal level, including the grandmother of the girl in the orange dress. This desire to push beyond the building of homes to the building of community sparked my effort to create an ESL teaching program, where Harvard-Westlake students and Spanish teachers can come to the Habitat village and teach English as a second language. And during builds, I encourage Harvard-Westlake students to develop their Spanish alongside the volunteering Habitat homeowners.

Last weekend: 7 AM. As I walk over to the breakfast table at the end of the cul-de-sac, I hear, “Ven aquí, Jason! Tengo las fotos de anoche!” The five-foot-tall woman, with her front door wide-open, waves photos of a girl in an orange dress. I eagerly stride down the alley of white daisies toward her. “María! Son de la obra de teatro de tu nieta Susana? ¿Cómo le fue?” I naturally ask, as we embrace each other in a hug. “Le fue muy bien,” she chokes in pride. “Ya sabes que estoy tan orgullosa de ella.” We continue to share what has gone on in our past week and revel in each other’s company.

Minutes later, as we prepare to put on our work gloves again, María goes to the coat closet to grab her jacket. We leave the house hand-in-hand, dissipating any unnecessary screen and engendering a harmonious and natural silence.

• Spanish to English translation:• “Come here, Jason! I have photos from last night!” • “María! Are they from your granddaughter Susana’s school performance? How did it go?”• “Very well…you know how proud I am of her.”

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