communicating and inﬂuencing by understanding how your …€¦ · how we get convinced and how...

!MindMeld Coaching

Neuro-leadership:

Communicating and Influencing by Understanding How Your Stakeholders Think

Leadership Development Centre Clinic

Thursday, 23 October 2014

!

Name:

!Leadership Development Centre, 23 October 2014

Table of contents

Details for Today’s Session! 3!

Our Topics Today! 3!

People’s Preferences for Using Different Senses to Make Sense of their World! 5!

How We Get Convinced and How We Convince Others! 6!

Understanding Individual Filters When Taking on New Information! 8!

Tips for Convincing Stakeholders! 15!

References! 16!

Your Facilitator Today - Brenda Ratcliff! 16

! © MindMeld Coaching 2014, Page " 2


Details for Today’s Session !People run their brains in particular ways that makes it easy for them to process large amounts of information. Over time, they develop preferences for filtering out some types of information, and letting other types through. !When you understand the common ‘information filters’ people use, you can deliver your advice so that it matches their preferences for letting information through. The techniques covered in this clinic can be applied to a variety of high-stakes conversations. !!

Our Topics Today !๏ A structure for influential conversations ๏ How we get convinced and so can convince others ๏ Filters on our world which let some information through, and

blocks out others !!!!! !!!!!!! ! !!!!!!!! © MindMeld Coaching 2014, Page " 3


“Electric communication will never be a substitute for the face of someone who with their soul encourages another

person to be brave and true.” - Charles Dickens

!4MAT - a Structure for Communicating and Influencing

!Why is it important for you to know about 4MAT? !This is an easy to remember technique for explaining your message in a way that matches another’s preferred learning style.!!What is 4MAT? !4MAT is essentially an accelerated learning model used to get your message across to your audience. !How do you use 4MAT? !All you have to do is design your key messages to answer in order, the questions they ask themselves about your information - Why?, What?, How?, and What if?. ! !!!


Why?

What?

How?

What if?


”Music is kind of like a kaleidoscope, like a jigsaw put together through the ears. I think Keith and I are on the same wavelength

like that.” - Mick Jagger,

Crossfire Hurricane Documentary !!

People’s Preferences for Using Different Senses to Make Sense of their World

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !Sensory preferences for processing information !Different parts of the brain have different primary functions relating to the five senses, for example visual activity happens at the back of the brain as shown in the diagram above. Individuals have a preference for activating different parts of brain for processing new information and making sense of their world. ! !!!! © MindMeld Coaching 2014, Page " 5


‘My good opinion once lost, is lost forever.’ - Mr Darcy ! !

How We Get Convinced and How We Convince Others !People have ways that let them know that they are convinced by you. This answers the question inside them - What type of information do I need in order to be convinced? When you know how someone convinces themselves, you can present information in a way that matches their strategy. Then they are more likely to connect with your idea. !There are two parts to getting convinced: 1. Getting information in the channel, which is usually based on one

of their senses (Convincer Channel) 2. Treating the information in a particular way (Convincer Mode) !!Convincer Channel !Here are the different ways people have for convincing themselves.


Looks right!

Show them a picture, diagram or model!(See something)

Feels right!Have a practical experience of it!(Do something)

Seems right !Make sense!

Read a written account!(Read something)

Sounds right!

Hear a presentation!(Hear something)


Convincer Mode !Once the person has gathered information, they need to treat the information in some way before they are convinced. There are four patterns regarding how they will treat the information before they are convinced.

1 Automatic

People with this preference take one piece of information and are automatically convinced regarding the rest of the information. They may jump to conclusions as they only need to experience something once before they believe it is true - and then they won’t often change their minds.

Best advice: Get it right by them the very first time.

2 Number of times

People with this preference need to experience the information a number of times (often three times) before they believe it.

Best advice: Give them the opportunity to experience the same information three times over.

3 Period of times

People with this convincer mode need to gather information for a period of time before they will allow themselves to be convinced. They may say to themselves, ‘Well I’ll just wait a week and see what happens before I commit to doing anything’.

Best advice: Give them a timeframe to consider the information.

4 Consistent convincers

These people need proof every single time - it is as if each experience is fresh and new and they need to be convinced all over again.

Best advice: Help them feel OK about closing off options. Tell them, “There are just so many options available you might as well chose one now and then we can progress, so that it will get done’.

!!!! © MindMeld Coaching 2014, Page " 7


‘’I am what I am I am my own special creation

So come take a look Give me the hook or the ovation.”

- Gloria Gaynor !Understanding Individual Filters When Taking on New

Information !Processing information requires each of us to have ‘filters’ so we can take on some and filter out other information, so we don't feel overwhelmed. People ‘run programmes’ in their brain to deal with all the information coming in, and when these programmes are used in combination over time, they form the structure of our personality.

It is useful to understand the filters other people use to make sense of their world, so that we can motivate them to act by presenting information that passes through their filters.

!Here are a three easily recognised types of filters.

๏ Motivation - Towards and Away From Filters

When you think about what is important to you at work, you may think about goals you want to achieve, and what it will feel like when you achieve them. This is ‘Towards’ motivation. Or you may think about what you don’t want at work, and how to prevent or ‘move away from’ having those things you don’t want.

•Towards phrases:

‘I want to achieve this, It will feel great when I get to do....., I really like the people I work with, I feel useful.’

Away From phrases:

‘I don't want to be bored, I don't want to do the same thing I have always done, it’s the same-old same-old.’

Useful phrases for helping people take on information and change:

• Towards: Here is what you will achieve... ! © MindMeld Coaching 2014, Page " 8


• Away From: ‘In order to avoid these problems, you could consider....’

• Both Towards and Away From: ‘Here are the goals it will help you reach, and just as importantly it will help you avoid.....’

!!๏ Match and Mismatch Filters

People who filter for similarities (Matchers) will, on hearing new information, look for clues that will remind them of what they already know. People who notice what is different about this new information compared to what they know are called Mismatchers.

• Match phrases: ‘Yes and...’

• Mismatch phrases: ‘Yes, but.....’, or ‘No’.

Conversations between Matchers and Mismatchers can sometimes lead to misunderstandings, or feelings of conflict, when it is merely an example of different filters in action.

Useful phrases for helping people take on information and change:

• Matchers: ‘This is the same as what you already know, so it will fit in perfectly.’

• Matchers and Mismatchers: ‘As you think about this information, you may find some of it familiar and some of it different ...... I don’t know if you will believe this or not. You may or may not...’

• Mismatchers: ‘You may not believe this....You won’t want to....’ (Note: the words ‘must’ or ‘should’ to a MisMatcher is a red rag).

!! © MindMeld Coaching 2014, Page " 9

Away From Towards

MatchMismatch


๏ Big Picture to Specific

The Big Picture to Specific filter is a little like a ladder. At the top of the ladder are the high level concepts and ‘blue sky thinking’, and at the bottom of the ladder are the ‘grass roots details’. People with a tendency to think Big Picture can outline the general direction of where they want to go, but get bored and frustrated by details. People who prefer Specifics enjoy imagining and working on all the little pieces that go towards creating the whole.

• Big Picture phrases: ‘Here is the big picture.’

• Specific phrases: ‘Here are the details. The devil is in the detail.’

Useful phrases for helping people take on information and change (running up and down the ladder):

• Big Picture to Specific: ‘Here are the most important things..... Now here are the details.’

• Specific to Big Picture: ‘And specifically, the details are.... And now this leads to the main point which is....’

!!


Big Picture

Specific


Putting it all together

!!!

!!!!!!

!!!!

!!!!!!! © MindMeld Coaching 2014, Page " 11

Who am I?

My 4MAT

preference is:!Why?/What?/How?/

What if?

My Convincer Channel is:!Looks Right!

Sounds Right!Feels Right!

Seems Right

My Filters are:!

Towards or Away From;!

Match or Mismatch;!Big Picture or

Specific

My Convincer Mode is:!

Automatic!Number of Times!Period of Times!

Consistent


Activity

1. Please work with someone you may not so so well in the group.

2. Look at the previous page in their workbook, and work through their answers to their:

1. 4MAT preference

2. Convincer Channel

3. Convincer Mode

4. Filters

3. Ask them to describe briefly an issue that is important to them that they would like to take action on e.g. completing a paper, convening a meeting.

4. Write a paragraph using the guide on page 14 to convince them to take action.

5. Read it to them and seek their feedback as to its effectiveness at influencing them.

6. Swap over.



!


Their 4MAT

preference is:

Their Convincer Channel is:

Their Filters are:

Their Convincer Mode is:

Who are they?


Influencing Script !Headline.!

Seek permission for the conversation.

May I talk to you about X?!

!!

Why?!

Motivation - Away from or Towards Filter!

Important for Automatic Convincers to get it right at the start.

Let me tell you why this X is so important....!

!By doing X it will help you reach your goals of….. , and just as importantly, it will also help you avoid......!

!!

What?!

Big Picture to Specific Filter!

Helps the Seems Right Convincers

Now here are the facts about this.!

!This is the big picture…!

!Here are the details…..!

How?!

A possible practical experience or description - Feels Right Convincers

Here’s how this could work practically …… !

!!!!

What if?!

You ask for their question using language from their Convincer Channel.!

Convincer Mode - Leave them for a period of time to decide if that is their preference

What is your view/does this sound right/feel right/make sense?



”You had me at’Hello’" - Jerry Maguire

!Tips for Convincing Stakeholders !

The first step to convincing someone else is to listen to the words they use both in conversation with you, and look at the words they use in their emails. Then you will notice a pattern and be able to ascertain their Convincer Channel. Examples of the preferred words in different convincer channels are:

• Looks Right/ Visual Convincers – see, paint a picture, bright, view, perspective, sparkly, blind, has a vision, see eye to eye.

• Sounds Right Convincers – hear me out, rings a bell with me, echo, tune into, call attention to, tune up, harmony, undertones, listen to, get an earful.

• Feels Right Convincers - that feels like this to me, solid, it has guts, get a load of, strikes me as familiar, ease into it, are you across this?, mind-numbingly boring, bounce back, solid evidence.

• Seems Right (Read Something/Makes Sense) Convincers – perseverance, refer to, teach identify, reconsider, significance, motivate, influence. !

Sometimes you won’t know or have had contact with a stakeholder to discover this before you meet them. In that situation, the Filters will be your most useful tool. Ensure you incorporate statements that work for Towards and Away from Motivation, Match and Mismatch, and Big Picture to Specific. In this way you cover all your bases until you have learned their Convincer Channel and Convincer Mode.

Try using these sentences:

๏ Away From and Towards: ‘Here’s what this will help you avoid, and it will also help with achieving your goal.’ (In this situation it is useful to start with Away From, so that they are engaged immediately).

๏ Match and Mismatch: ‘As you think about this information, you may find some of it familiar and some of it different ...... I don’t know if you will believe this or not. You may or may not...’ (Note: avoid the words ‘must’ or ‘should’, as they are red rags to Mismatchers).

๏ Big Picture to Specific: ‘Here are the most important things..... Now here are the details.’



References !• Shelle Rose Charvet. (1997). Words that change minds. Mastering the language of influence. Second edition.

• Sue Knight. (1998). NLP at Work - the difference that makes a difference in business.

• Bernice McCarthy. Teaching Around the 4MAT Cycle, 2006.!

• Grant Soosalu, Marvin Oka. (2012). mBraining. Using your multiple brains to do cool stuff.

!Your Facilitator Today - Brenda Ratcliff !

Brenda is a trainer and leadership coach. She uses techniques from the exciting world of Neuro-leadership to unpack the thoughts and actions of successful communicators, and helps her clients apply these skills to situations that require change. She is an approved coach on the panels of both the State Services Commission and the Leadership Development Centre. !Over her career, Brenda has held significant roles including as the Lead HR Advisor Organisational Development at the Ministry of Social Development. She has won two IPANZ awards for her Talent Management Programme and her leadership simulation on political

nous, where participants got to be the Chief Executive with all of its guts and glory and pitfalls. This ‘Chief for a Day’ programme also went on to win the HRINZ public service award. !Brenda was also a Winston Churchill Fellow, where she journeyed to England and Ireland to focus on the development of outcome indicators for children’s services. She also held role of the Director Office for the Community and Voluntary Sector, a pivotal interface between government and the community and voluntary sector which required working directly to government ministers and chief executives. !In 2013 and 2014 Brenda facilitated the ‘Top 200’ events, where chief executives and their direct reports from every public service agency gathered together to explore collaboration as a core function of leadership. Brenda counts as a career highlight winning a Leadership Development Centre Fellowship to Stanford University to study Leadership and the Effective Use of Power, and returning to coach other senior executives to successfully secure their own career adventures. [email protected] +6421847727 www.mindmeldcoaching.com


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communicating and inﬂuencing by understanding how your …€¦ · how we get convinced and how...

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