comm 411 spring 2012 exam 2 review for class

7/30/2019 Comm 411 Spring 2012 Exam 2 Review for Class

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Exam 2 ReviewComm 411

Spring 2012Chapter 3:

Know the types and definitions of the TRIP goals. Be able to identifyan example of each of the TRIP goals.

Goals/Interests: What we want from others or out of aconflict

Issues: What the conflict is about TRIP

Topic (substantive or realistic goals: what content orsubject

Ex: topic goals in general

securing a student loan

More free time

A new pair of skis

Space to work

Vacation overseas

Selling a house

Cleaning apartment Meaningful work

Fashionable clothing

A different job

Reliable transportation

Digital video recorder

Work place topics

Promotion

Efficiently getting to work on time

Title

How hard you work


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Job assignments

Accuracy

Salary

New computer

Office locations

Friendship topics

Loaning money

Sharing a ride

What holiday plans to make

How welcome friends are in a shared apartment

Where to recreate

What music to listen to

Whether to share possessions

Which movies to see

Clear and often used to address goals at other levels.

Can be listed, supported by evidence, and broken down

into pros/cons. Struggles ensue over:

-People wanting the same thing OR different things.

Relationship: who are people to one another

Defines:

How each party wants to be treated by the other?

The amount of interdependence each desires.

Always exist in conflict.

Rarely talked about or shared with each other.

About interpersonal needs.

Every statement carries a relational message.


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Everyone translates relational messages differently.

Our relational interests are a reaction to our interpretationof the others behavior.

Ex: How you want to be treated by the other

-What I need is some respect.

-So, what happened to our collegial relationship?

-What I want is for you to support me when we are inpublic.

-I wont put up with that kind of abuse.

Well, you dont have to be nasty about it.

I want to be include on projects that affect me.I expect professional conduct from everyone on this team.

You told Sandra the report would be in by the due date.Then you called in sick and had me handle it. This hurts mytrust that you will do what you say.

I wa hired at the same time Jim, was and now hesreceiving extra training. I want access to training as well soI can grow in this job.

Ex: The amount of Interdependence you want

I thought we were best friends.

I cant help if I dont know if you want to stay on theproject with me.

We both have our separate lives to live now, so lets get onwith it.

What I do is none of your business.

I just dont know who we are to each other anymore.

Identity: self-identity

Identity Goals: relate to the self, preserving self-esteem,and face.

As conflicts increase in intensity, face saving becomesimportant.


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Who am I in this particular interaction

How may my self-identify be protected or repaired in thisparticular conflict

Ex: competent

Best friend

Reliable family

Member

Likeable

Logical

Friendly

Responsible

Enthusiastic

Expert

Trustworthy

Well-organized

Leader

Process: how conflict is enacted and expressed

Ex: giving each one equal talk time

Talking informally

Not allowing the children to speak

Voting

Having high-power

Consensus

Decisions made by subgroup

Person decide secret ballot

Know the differences between saving and damaging face, as well asthe example of the hostage situation in relation to this.


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Saving face occurrences:

Claims of unjust intimidation.

Refusal to step back from a position

Denying that conflict exists.

Restoring face:

Increase self-esteem through goodwill.

Listen and take others concerns into account.

Ask questions so the other can examine his/her goals.

Face saving employed when:

1) claim unjust intimidation

Refust to step back from a postion

Suppress conflict issues

Preventing loss of face or further loss

1) Help others increase their sense of self-esteem

2) Avoid giving detectives

3) Listen carefully to others and take their concerns into

account.4) Ask questions so the other person can examine his or her

goals.

Know the main 6 features of TRIP goals (overlapping nature of tripgoals).

Not all types of goals emerge in all conflicts.

Interests and goals overlap with one another and differ inprimacy.

Identity and relational issues drive disputes and underlietopic/process issues.

Topic-only solutions are rarely satisfying to conflict parties.

Conflict parties often specialize in one kind of goal


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Goals may emerge in a different form

Know prospective, transactive, and retrospectic goals.

1. Prospective Goals: Exist before conflict; help gain clarityabout what you want from the interaction, and give you sense of I can

do this.

2. Transactive Goals: Discovered during conflict interaction becausemutual expression changes what we think.

- Positive goals may shift to negative ones, goals may besacrificed, or they may switch from content to process orientations.

3. Retrospective Goals: Emerge after conflict; Gives us clarity.

- Prospective goals for the next episode are formulated.

Know what collaborative goals are about.

Characteristics

1. Short, medium and long-range issues are addressed.

2. Goals are behaviorally specific.

3. Statements orient toward the present and future.

4. Goals recognize interdependence.

5. Goals reveal an ongoing process.

Collaboration is a high energy alternative to avoidance, violence,coercion, frustration, despair and other destructive conflictforms.

Collaboration isnt always possible.

Attack the problem, not each other.

Other things from chapter 3

Process Goals: The process of conflict often determines

outcome.

All process conflicts will come back to impacting the other 3goals.

Different processes encourage or discourage creative solutions.

Advantage to clarifying goals


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Knowing what you want enables solutions.

1. knowing what you want enable solutions

2. Only clear goals can be shared.

3. Clear goals can be altered more easily than vaguegoals.

4. Clear goals are reached more often than unclear ones.

Estimating Goals of Others

Our estimate of what the other person wants affects out ownchoices in conflict.

The more you convince yourself that you know what the otherwants, the less accurate you are.

Feeling misunderstood can feed negative conflict spirals.

Revolutionary thing to do: Ask what the other person needs.

Chapter 4:

Know the different camps in the definition of power.

Power is the ability to influence, exert control, and make adifference.

Three types:

Designated (power given by your position) giving power tosome other group or entity

In a marriage, threat power works poorly, since threatsbuild resentment and distance.

Distributive (either/or) distributive power focuses on powerover or against the other party. Ex: Distributive powerfocuses on powr over or against the other party

Integrative (both/and) both parties achieving something inthe relationship

Conflict is the exercise of power.

Who defines the conflict has the power.

Conflict and power are interchangeable terms.


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Know the difference between the powers emphasized and power de-emphasized models.

Know what designated power is.

Designated (power given by your position) giving power to

some other group or entity

Know the Relational Theory of Power.

Common perception: Power is an attribute of a person.

Power is not owned by an individual, but is a product of therelationship.

Its based on ones dependence on resources and currencies thatanother control/ possesses.

All power is the property of a social or interpersonal relationship,a dynamic of the relationship between two individuals.

Equation of Power: A has power over B to the extent that Bis dependent on A for goal attainment.

Offers the idea that maturity and competence depend on growth-in-connection and mutuality; sharing positive power.

Power is based on dependence on resources or currencies thatanother person controls or possesses.

Know what the acronym RICE stands for.

-helps with recalling power currency

1) Resource control-comes from position or organization anddepending on the control of resources you have you control the extentof some rewards or punishments

Resource control often results from attaining a formal position thatbrings resource to you.

2) Interpersonal linkages: serving as a bridge between two groups

central in communication exchange

3) Communication skills: conversational skills, persuasive ability,listening skills, group leadership skills, the ability t o communicatecaring and warmth, ; and the ability to form close bonds. Being able torelate, to matter, and to be understood by others. Goodcommunication allows for more interpersonal power.

4) Expertise: being an expert in a content area having knowledge,


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skills and talent useful for a task.

Know the Individual Power Currencies.

-your power currency depends on how much your particular resourcesare valued by the other persons in a relationship context.

Power depends on having currencies that other people need.

Know how to assess power.

-based on relative resources of the party at hand

-flaw with power analysis its too narrow and emphasis on sourcesinfluence too much.

Know power imbalances and figure 4.3.

-see attachedAssessing power

Power over

1) Important problems

2) Control over significant resources

3) Luck or skilled to bring problems and resources together at thesame time

4) Centrally connected to the work flow of organization

5) Not easily replaced

6) Successfully used their power in the past

Know constructive power balancing.

-for intimate relationships

1) Work towards equality

2) Restoring psychological equality

3) Abandoning unbalances

Collaboration and constructive realignment best when:

1) High power not abusing power

2) Person is not lying or sociopath


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3) Long term gains are more than losses

Know techniques for balancing power.

Techniques

1) Speaking to the other with a positive tone.

2) Listen

3) Reflect feelings

4) Clarify what you have heard

5) Question when needed

1. Use Conversation

2. Show Restraint

3. Focus on Interdependence

4. Calmly Persist

5. Actively Engage

6. Empower Others

7. Meta-Communicate

Power balancing relates to the process of creating equality,equity, or symmetry of power or influence between conflictparticipants.

1. Its necessary for constructive conflict management.

For Low power

1) Speak up and present a balanced picture ofstrengths as well as weaknesses.

2) Make clear what ones beliefs, values, and

priorities are, and then keep ones behaviorcongruent with these.

3) Stay emotionally connected to significantothers even when things get intense.

4) State differences, and allow others to do thesame.


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What so say when in low power

1) Validating or acknoleding the other

2) Using I statements

3) Asking higher-higher what they need

4) Letting other know what they can gain from helping you

5) Announce intended escalation and looking for a way out

6) Expressing optimism

Know what meta-communication is.

Focusing the parties on the process of their communication with eachother.

Other info

-reluctance to talk about power emerges as power denial

Denying power use

1) Deny that you communicated something

2) Deny that something was communicated

3) Deny that you communicated something to the other person

4) Deny the situation in which it was communicatedInterpersonal power

Definition: The ability to influence a relational partner inany context because you control (or are perceived tocontrol) resources that the other needs, values, desires,or fears.

Includes the ability to resist influence attempts of apartner.

Chapter 5:

Know the nature and styles of tactics and figure 5.1.

Conflict Tactics are:

Individual moves people make to carry out their general


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approach.

Specific communication moves of the big picture.

Conflict Styles are:

Patterned responses.

Clusters of behavior that people use in conflict.

Describe The Big Picture.

When you use a tactic numerous times is becomes a style (apatterned response).

Know what style preferences are.

-Developed over a persons lifetime based on a complicated blend of

genetics, life experiences, family background, and personal philosophy.Know the definition of avoidance.

Avoidance is a Style:

Characterized by denial of the conflict

Changing the topic

Being noncommittal

Joking rather than dealing with the conflict.

Be aware and careful about the Avoid/Criticize Loop:

Avoiding a person, but talking badly about them to others.

Know what assertiveness is in relation to the competitivestyle.

Competitive Style:

Aggressive: Goals are achieved at the expense of others

Assertive: Goals are achieved without damaging face ofother.

Competitive Tactics:

Win/lose orientation.

Confrontational remarks.

Know the definition for hostile imperatives, a type of


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destructive competition.

-Requests, demands, arguments, threats, or other prescriptivestatements that implicitly blame the partner and seek change in thepartners behavior.

Know what bullying is.

Aggressive tactics that overlap with verbal aggressiveness andviolence are acts of bullying.

Bullying starts as incivility.

Bullying: An ongoing, persistent badgering, harassment, andpsychological terrorizingthat demoralizes, dehumanizes, andisolates those targeted (p. 179).

Know the forms of verbal coercion.

-character attacks, insults, rough teasing, ridicule, and profanity,threats

Know what compromise is.

Assertive and cooperative

High concern for self, other, problem solution, and relationshipenhancement.

Win-win or no-lose approach.

Search for a new way.

Know what accommodation is and the tactics associated withit.

Unassertive and cooperative.

One may gladly yield, or do so bitterly.

Concern for other.

Self-sacrifice.

Lose-win approach.

Know what collaboration is and what its tactics involve.

Assertive and cooperative

High concern for self, other, problem solution, and relationshipenhancement.


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Win-win or no-lose approach.

Search for a new way.

Know what rhetorical sensitivity is.

-Idea that people changes their communication style based on thedemands of different situations.

From Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships Power Point(Powerpoint on Beachboard)

Know the 10 stages of a Relationship (5 coming together, 5coming apart)

1) Initiation: ritual greetings, conversational openers

2. Experimentation: small talk

3. Intensification: self-disclosure

4. Integration: private, couple interaction

5. Bonding: social contract, roles and rules

Differentiation: I vs Us, conflict.

7. Circumscribing: restrictions and control.

8. Stagnation: repetitive behavior, imagined interactions.

9. Avoidance: interaction curtailed unfriendliness.

10. Termination: dissociation, farewell address.

Know the differences between the relational dialectics

Know the reasons why we form relationships

Know what leads to marital satisfaction

From Gender and Conflict Power Point (Powerpoint onBeachboard)

Know what the important qualification is

Gender is probably not relevant in individual conflicts, but it exerts acultural or socializing influence that affects men and women in conflictsituations generally.

Know what a double-bind is and in what instances women and menfind themselves caught in it.


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Double-binding expectations:

Women are socially valued for their appearance, yetcriticized for emphasizing appearance.

Men are socially valued for what they do, yet criticized for

being too work-absorbed.

Also know the in-class notes Moss has discussed in relation tothese chapters and lectures.

Class notes

When threats are credible

1) Source has power to implement punishment

2) Source seems to be willing to invoke punishment

3) Punishment is something to be avoided

Notes

Model of the 5 stages leading 2 break up; consequences ofutilizing model is current and up to date of 2012

-lees model was invented in 1984and it looks at differentcomponents in the process of break ups

1) dissatisfaction-either 1 or 2 parties become dissatisfied

2) exposure stage-both parties are mutual aware of problem oraware dere is a problem in a relationship

3) negotiation-both parties attending 2 negotiate a problem to asolution

4) resolution and transformation-we negotiate what do we getout; lump sum ability to solve things that are actualize and willat least solve one identified problem

5) termination-propose solution ail 2 rectify problem and nofurther solutions are applied

Tried what you thought, but failed

Uncoupling=coming apart, from Blane Vaughen socialist cameup with the uncoupling theory and argues that uncouplinghappens because there was a turning point in 1 or 2 of the partymembers


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-long term partner should last 2 or 3 times the time you live withyour parents in society which is only 21 years

-when you are in a long term relationship there is less novelty

-conlfict every 5 days is normal and healthy, but 1 conflict per

day leads to dissatisfaction

-if conflict is in our mind than its real

-termination is a process of grief; broken hearts due to death,divorce, break up, physical separation, romantic rejection

-notion of broken heart metaphor heart doesnt actually breakbut there is a broken heart syndrome-dramatizing incidents thathurt heart tissue and brain by releasing chemicals that hurt heartissue; clinically different from a heart attack

-neurological perception of heart break is unknown

-women argue heart break comes from the interior cortex of thebrain where stress comes from

-stress effect of break up; pain, nausea, tightening of chest;physical response to something that is neurological which thenbecomes physical

-unrequited love-relates to intimacy u love someone, but theydont love you back; no reciprocation/they dont know or dontget that you care for them

Love is the anti-thesis of not being loved

-98 percent of the time were in love with someone who doesntlove us we need to stop that

-create an open space for opposition and conversation for itguarantees honest as least as it serves as a starting point

Conflict in Intimate Relationships

I. Factors that can contribute towards infidelity

A. Low self-esteem

B. Discontent with marriage

C. Addiction 2 sex

D. Addiction 2 love or romance


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II. Possible Indicators of Affairs

A. Strong sexual attraction 2 some else other than partner

B. Relationship is keep a secret

C. Consequence of a secret are lies and deceit

D. Person who has an affair has a stronger connection thanwith actually partner; if we dont maintain emotionalconnection with partner, infidelity could be high

III. How to repair a relationship if Infidelity occurs

A. Give space

B. Seek support

C. Be accountable for what happens if you were the one whocheated you need to end all affairs and contact with thatperson

D. Be honest

E. Partner who didnt cheat needs the time table give themall the time they need to recover

F. Forgiveness and reconciliation; when there is enough timeand word this stage should be reached

Iv. Forgiveness in general

A. Forgiveness is hard 4 its emotionally devastating; itsworse than death the person is still bloody there

B. Forgiveness is not likely 2 come quickly or easily; getseasier with time through like all things

C. Also if partner cheated dont tell your parents they willmost likely perceive your partner in a negatively light forthey care for you; so therefore it may be hard to generateforgiveness for parents after they hear someone cheating

on their own child

IV. 10 Stages or a relationship (Refer to PowerPoint on conflict inIntimate relationships)

A. First five stages are about coming together

-to determine which stage youre in disaggregate and see whereyou are if you dont know where you are, your usually @ da


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lower lvl spectrum of the first five stags usually

B. Last five stages; 6-10 are the 5 stages of coming apart

C. Stage 6: differentiation: autonomous vs. connectedness,dialectical tension with one trying 2 be more autonomous;

relating to power in chpt 4

D. Stage 7 circumscribing: its you cant do this and that

E. Stage 8 Stagnation: phase you can stay in 4 a long time andits when you think about something you use to do

F. Avoidance: if things become repetitive it can cause one toavoid things; remember limit info linked to negativity for its notalways up 2 partner 2 fix

G. can still secure victory in the face of defeat, but are you

willing to see u want to save more than wanting 2 loose thisrelationship; not brain surgery, just communication

VI. Relationship

A. Less emotional 4 a man to be cheated on, for your not givingas much as you should

B. Relationship we should be pivotal as a part of your life

VII. Y we form relationships

A. Similarity thesis: together because of similarities

B. Need thesis ex: athlete trying 2 collaborate with team in orderto accomplish a goal

C. Social exchange thesis: if rewards are higher than costusually

D. Proximity thesis-your attracted to who you meet if only theyare not nearby thats why with celebrities cant have arelationship with them unless there is even a chance ofactually contact

E. Investment thesis: self-identity is connected, sustained orcreated by being in a relationship with that person

-People who date with similarities-the small whack is that peopleare going to change and you will be shocked with it since youuse to be so similar

-if complementarity wont be so shocked when people change


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-for change the more you can accommodate the better

-similarity higher risk 4 break up according to Moss, no date forback up though

VIII. Conflict in intimate relationships

A. More vulnerable due to proxy, more vested and telling peoplemore things; therefore vulnerability should exist

B. Spouses arguing in front of children causes them to solve andresolve things out in the open rather than avoid, should bebetter in the long run

C. A lot of people with marital dissatisfaction are still married

D. Communicating is an avenue 4 reconciliation

E. Meet the intersection of a person, not just the street or justthe house

F. Be receptive and open helps 2 keep relationship in tact

G. When paint is dry own who you are

IX. Common topics in Intimate conflict

A. Attention, affection, and control are circulated from Maslowhierarchy

B. Sometimes emotional help and support requires break up with afriend 2 self-preserve

X: Infidelity

A. divorce, separation, are not usually indicatiors

B. Not enough research has been done in infidelity aspect 4 collegestudents

C. Infidelity not a single clearly defined situation, so it becomes

subjective

-when its subjective room 4 conflict for there is a completingroutes for truth

XI: Reasons for Intimate Conflicts

A. Conflict consequence of romantic relationship because you aremore vested


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B. Spoken and unspoken rules with partners that are potentialareas for conflict

C. Rules we play by according to expectations; doesnt mean rpartners r always right or wrong

D. Informal and formal contracts

E. Avoidance, engagement, are you collaborating, competing, orcompromising

F. Sometimes in life its a pattern but people think its us

G. Conflict that are irresolvable are recurring conflicts such asinfidelity and breach of trust

XII. Infidelity

A. everyones version of infidelity is different

-what is tolerable for me is not tolerable for others always

B. less than 5% of people dont wake up saying they aregoing to kill someone

-ex: after 12 o clock class mates had rinks had infidelity, sleptwith some 1, its like murder, I didnt mean too

-noble lie-justify, utilitarian principle, lie for the greater goodgreatest good 4 the greatest amount of people

C. Burkley and Parker study

-59% to 90%-when I variable change in an ideal and dat was theman was in a romantic relationship

-females are attracted to guys who are in relationships

V1: unknown V2: in romantic relationship

-massive conflict in the beginning and ending of a relationship

-saw it firsthand being a part of a contract that was broken,

things are irreversible

-some see infidelity as the emotional connection, doesnt matterif theres a physical connection or not

-intimate conflict you vent out to a friend of that girlfriend orboyfriend at some levels y ur upset never appears to be knownsee ur venting in secrecy to someone else


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-infidleity its like a secret mind is separate from the body

-physical and emotional connection vice versa impact is usuallyinfidelity for people some is the loss of emotional connection,while some is the physical connection

comm 411 spring 2012 exam 2 review for class

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