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573_JCleaver_CEWT_Paper Prototype 1

College Essay Writing Tutorial

Paper Prototype

Joju Cleaver

Purdue University

10/5/14


College Essay Writing Tutorial- Paper Prototype

College Essay Writing Tutorial (CEWT)


INTRO

Hello my name is Maude Bond. I am a college counselor at the United Nations International

School (UNIS) in New York City. Prior to my current position at UNIS I recruited students from

around the world for Columbia University, The New School and Sarah Lawrence. As your

counselor I will be working closely with you to help you research colleges, identify realistic

choices and complete your college essays and applications.

Pre-requisites: Personal History Form

Tell me more: I may ask you to elaborate on the information you shared in your Personal History Form.

Sometimes it’s because the information is vague or unclear. However, more often than not, you

may have shared something insightful or engaging that would make a great essay topic.

INTRODUCTION: Welcome to the College Essay Writing Tutorial (CEWT). In this tutorial you will learn how to

write a compelling college admissions essay. Whether you choose to write from one of the

Common App essay prompts or write a personal statement this tutorial will guide you through

the college essay writing process.

Step-by-step as we work together through the exercises you will begin to understand the

elements of a successful college essay, discover your natural story-telling voice and compose a

memorable college admissions essay.

Overview The CEWT approach to college essay writing may be new to you. Your lessons in this tutorial

will focus on practice, peer review, feedback and reflection. Together we will work through four

drafts of your college essay.

You will learn what makes a successful college essay by looking at examples of strong

essays and weak essays.

You will have the opportunity to practice your writing, to give and receive feedback and

to reflect upon your work.

You will find that by writing reflections, during and after activities, your problem solving

strategies improve when re-reading, evaluating and revising your work. Your written reflections

also help me to provide targeted support when and where you need it most.

What is reflection exactly? It is the purposeful thinking toward a goal. Studies have shown that

reflection plays a significant role in improving students’ writing.

So what is your goal?


To write a successful college admissions essay. To do this you will learn to plan, review,

evaluate and revise your essays, consciously.

Let’s begin.

WEEK 1 (W1) - CLASSROOM

W1 ABSORB ACTIVITY: READING

Why Is The Essay So Important?

Remember your Personal History Form? Do you recall all of those questions in the “All About

You” section? That was your introduction to me, as your counselor. It helps me get to know you

better. Your college essay is your introduction to your college(s). More specifically, it is your

introduction to the college admissions officers. Admissions officers are readers. They have to

read hundreds, even thousands of essays. So your essay needs to stand out to capture their

attention. So, what are they looking for?

A reason to add you to the ACCEPT pile.

An essay that reveals something about you that your grades, test scores and transcripts

alone cannot.

A real-life story that compels them to ask, “What happens next?”

Admissions officers are also looking for answers to a few basic questions. For example, can you

write well? Do you have the basic skills necessary to be successful in college? Does your essay

fit with the rest of your application? Meaning, is your topic consistent with your profile and does

it give them a more vivid picture of you? Are you a good fit for the school? Some schools are

large, some small. Some are urban, some are rural and some are in small towns. Is the setting

right for you?

Look at it this way. Admissions officers are building a community for their school. They are

looking at you and wondering, will you fit in here? So, after reading your essay it is very

important that admissions officers can answer two questions:

What will you add to our school community?

Why are you choosing us over all the other schools?

Your essay may not answer all of these questions directly. But after reading it, the admissions

officers should be able to say, “I get it. We want you here”. How are you going to do all of that

in one essay?

By knowing what makes a great essay.


W1 ABSORB ACTIVITY- CLASSROOM

Video: Randy Levin College Application Essays That Set You Apart

W1 ABSORB ACTIVITY: PRESENTATION

Module 1: What Makes a Great Essay? (POWERPOINT)

Classroom Key Elements.pdf

Elements of a Great Essay

Classroom%20Key%20Elements.pdf


COLLEGE ESSAY ≠ CLASSIC ESSAY:

Name the Dog


Show & Tell Chart

How to Show & Tell


How to Show

How to Tell


Evaluation

Listen & Compare

W1 CONNECT ACTIVITY: DEMONSTRATION- CLASSROOM

Example Essays & Evaluation (video)

Video Pt. 1: How to Write a Compelling College Essay

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2uxUR1tOro

Excerpt:

Voice over:

Is that a good essay? Was that at an essay that captures your attention? Let’s' read the second

example.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2uxUR1tOro


Voiceover: The second paragraph is vastly different from the first paragraph that I read even

though they both have the same subject for both about death or illness.

Video Evaluation:

VIDEO Pt. 2: How to Write a Compelling College Essay-Review

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRQTEC16ODA

Evaluation topics:

Generalizations: COMPARE Knowing what you're talking about.

One is a generalization of

death.

That is such a concrete example.

Abstract generalization

That is it a specific I'm reference to something

that had to have happened in this person's life.

Thesaurus Words You can immediately identify with than with.

Trying to impress with

awkward use of words

The focus on the particular the real the

authentic.

Again words used in very

uncomfortable and awkward

contexts

Focused onto the details that are fresh in his or

her mind

W1 Do Activities: WORKBOOK Compare & Contrast

Let's take another look at Essay #1 & #2. Based on your readings of the Key Elements of a Great

Essay compare the essays before and after the revisions. Read each essay and give your

evaluation for Essay #1 and Essay #2. Post your answers to the questions below:

Essay #1 & Essay #2

What was done well?

What could be improved?

What are the essays strengths?

What are the essays weaknesses?

What revisions, if any, do you suggest?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRQTEC16ODA


W1 Connect Activity-JOURNAL

Reflection Exercise

WEEK 2

W2 Absorb Activity: READING - CLASSROOM

Overview: Common Application and UCAS- (placeholder/rough draft)

The Common Application allows you to write a single essay for multiple colleges. The

supplemental (UCAS) is different for every college and must be subject or field specific.

Here are the 5 Common Application Essay Prompts


1. Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe

their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share

your story.

2. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what

lessons did you learn?

3. Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would

you make the same decision again?

4. Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or

experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

5. Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal that marked your transition from

childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

W2 Absorb Activity: READING

Overview: UCAS Personal Statement (place holder/rough)

The UCAS personal statement or supplemental essay is different for every application and must

be subject or field specific. Watch the video below to learn more about the UCAS.

W2 Absorb Activity: PRESENTATION

UCAS Video: How to Write a Personal Statement (VIDEO)

What’s Your Story? Defining Qualities (POWERPOINT)

Whats Your Story_Defining Qualities.pdf

W2 Do Activity: DEFINING QUALITIES

List Your Defining Qualities

Once you have a defining quality that you want to write about, all you need are some examples

of how you developed, refined or applied that quality, and why it is important to you.

Let’s brainstorm. Imagine how one of your friends, parents or a family member would describe

you to a stranger. “My Michelle, she’s creative, ambitious, caring and has a mean stubborn

streak.” You can use short phrases, too. “Always tries hard,” “takes risks,” “Learns fast.”

Step 1: List 3-5 “defining qualities” that best describe you.

Step 2: Take one of those qualities and try to think of a time when that quality was challenged,

or formed, or tested, proven, or changed. It doesn’t have to be huge event. It may have only

lasted 5 minutes but it was memorable event.

HINT: Think about a problem, or an obstacle, conflict, challenge or some type of trouble that

involved you and that quality.

Whats%20Your%20Story_Defining%20Qualities.pdf


Step 3: If you can find an interesting moment, incident, experience or story to convey about a

time when things went wrong for you, you may have found a memorable topic!

HINT: The incident does not have to be an earth-shattering event. Problems can take many

forms. It could be a personal idiosyncrasy, or phobia, a challenge, or something real or unreal in

your mind. Perhaps a conflict that almost stopped you from doing something you wanted.

Show and tell your story about the problem, obstacle, conflict or challenge. Use and anecdote to

show and tell your story. Explain what you learned, and why, by dealing with it.

W2 Absorb Activity: Presentation- WORKBOOK

Mundane Topics & Anecdotes (POWERPOINT)

Mundane Topics & Anecdotes.pdf

W2 Connect Activity

The New York Times Example:

The New York Times has published several well-written college application essays to inspire

college-bound students like yourself. Let’s review one of the examples. This essay uses the

narrative style of writing. I will indicate where the writer used an anecdote (in red) to “show” his

point, and then where he went on to “tell” explain what it meant to him (in blue). This essay is

excellent. We learned what the student values, and why, and he comes across as a very

authentic, likable guy. I believe the main reason this worked so well is that he chose a mundane

topic for his story (his mom’s restaurant job), as opposed to some impressive accomplishment.

See what you think:

(Sample Essay)

W2 Do Activity

Time to Start Brainstorming

Recall an interesting moment, incident, experience or story to convey about a time when you

faced a challenge, obstacle or conflict. The incident does not have to be huge. Challenges can

take many forms, it can be something big or little, real or in your mind.

Write a one paragraph introduction your essay using an anecdotal lead. Be sure to include

specific examples and at least one of your defining qualities.

W2 Do Activity

Essay Draft 1

Complete the first draft of your college essay. Consider this a rough draft. It does not have to be

perfect. Before you submit your draft be sure to use the checklist to make sure your essay

includes:

The key elements of a great essay

An anecdotal lead

Mundane%20Topics%20&%20Anecdotes.pdf


You will submit your essay twice. First submit it to receive my feedback. You will then revise

your essay based on my feedback. Then resubmit the revised draft for the peer review.

W2 Peer Review

Resubmit your revised essay as an Attachment below. In your post write the title of your essay, if

it is for the Common App or UCAS and what essay prompt or subject.

Read 2 of your peers essays and provide feedback. Your feedback should address:

What was done well?

What are the strengths

What are the weaknesses?

What do you suggest to improve the essay?

Be sure to respond to the feedback that you receive. Let your peers know if their input was

helpful, or not. Rate their feedback using a 1-4 star scale.

* Not helpful ***Very good feedback

** Good feedback

****Excellent feedback

W2 Connect Activity- JOURNAL

Reflection Exercise

WEEK 3 During the final two weeks of this tutorial we will be working in the Workbook. Our focus will

be on revising your college essays. We will review one more sample essay but our main focus

will be on the self-editing and revision of your essay & reflection.

W3 Connect/Do Activity- WORKBOOK

Sample Essay Review & Evaluation

(Sample essay)

Read the sample essay. Post your evaluation in the discussion board. Your evaluation should:

Indicate where the writer used an anecdote to “show” his/her point

Indicate where the writer used “tell” to explain his/her message and why it matters.

What was done well?




Would you revise this essay? Why? Or Why not?

W3 Do Activity

Essay Draft 2

Complete the second draft of your college essay. Consider this a rough draft. It does not have to

be perfect. Before you submit your draft be sure to use the checklist to make sure your essay

includes:


An anecdotal lead

You will submit your essay twice. First submit it to receive my feedback. You will then revise

your essay based on my feedback. Then resubmit the revised draft for the peer review.

W3 Do Activity

W3 Peer Review

Resubmit your revised essay as an Attachment below. In your post write the title of your essay, if

it is for the Common App or UCAS and what essay prompt or subject.

Read 2 of your peers essays and provide feedback. Your feedback should address:

What was done well?



What do you suggest to improve the essay?


helpful, or not. Rate their feedback using a scale of 1-4.


** Good feedback



W3 Connect Activity- JOURNAL

Reflection Exercise

WEEK 4 This week you will make the final revisions to your essay and submit your final draft. We will

continue to focus self-editing, revision & reflection. W4 WORKBOOK

W4 Do Activity- WORKBOOK

Essay Draft 3&4

Complete the third draft of your college essay. Before you submit your draft be sure to use the

checklist to make sure your essay includes:


An anecdotal lead

Once you receive my feedback on your third draft you will revise and submit your final draft for

the peer review.

W4 Do Activity

W4 Peer Review

Compare & Contrast

Submit your final draft and your first draft of your college essay. Let’s compare & contrast our

first & final essay. Use Key Elements checklist to check your final draft before you submit. Read

2 of your peers essays and provide feedback. Your feedback should address:

What are the most distinct differences between the first and final draft?

Compare & Contrast the introduction to each essay.

Compare & Contrast the use of Show & Tell in each essay.

Provide 2 examples of how the key elements of a great essay were used.


helpful, or not. Rate their feedback using a scale of 1-4.


** Good feedback


W4 Connect Activity- W4 JOURNAL

Reflection Exercise

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